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Speaker 1: If you have your own story of being in a

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Speaker 1: cult or a high control group.

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Speaker 2: Or if you've had experience with manipulation or abusive power

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Speaker 2: that you'd like to share.

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Speaker 1: Leave us a message on our hotline number at three

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Speaker 1: four seven eight six trust.

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Speaker 2: That's three four seven eight six eight seven eight seven eight,

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Speaker 2: or showed.

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Speaker 1: Us an email at trust Me pod at gmail dot com.

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Speaker 3: Trust me, trust for trust me. I'm like a swat person.

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Speaker 3: I've never lived to.

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Speaker 2: You and never If you think that one person has

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Speaker 2: all the answers, don't welcome to trust Me. The podcast

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Speaker 2: about cult, extreme belief and the abusive power from two

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Speaker 2: teen maniacs who've actually experienced it.

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Speaker 1: I'm Low LeBlanc and I'm Megan Elizabeth, and.

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Speaker 2: Today our guest is Luis Favella. He's a musician who

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Speaker 2: attended the Christian training camp for youth Honor Academy, which

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Speaker 2: was part of an evangelical youth organization called teen Mania Ministries.

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Speaker 2: We'll talk about his religious upbringing as a youth leader,

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Speaker 2: how he agreed to attend Honor Academy to appease his

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Speaker 2: parents after some turbulent teen years, and the day routine

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Speaker 2: once he arrived that included multiple weeks of military style

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Speaker 2: boot camp.

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Speaker 1: We'll also discuss Gauntlet Weekend, which was basically hunger games

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Speaker 1: for Christians, the psychological and physical stress that they were

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Speaker 1: forced to endure, all in the name of Jesus, and

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Speaker 1: how cat food factored in.

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Speaker 2: I'm really curious to know how many of our listeners

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Speaker 2: attended camps like this, because I know we have a

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Speaker 2: lot of people who feel that their Christian upbringings or

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Speaker 2: youth organizations were cult So if you guys went to

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Speaker 2: Honor Academy or something related to teen Mania ministries, definitely

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Speaker 2: let us know. Very curious before we get into it.

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Speaker 2: Notice I still have the sexy voice.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I love it. I'm still I'm still here

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Speaker 1: for it. Thank you.

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Speaker 2: This is just how I sound now, I guess before

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Speaker 2: we get into it. Yes, what is your cultiest thing

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Speaker 2: this week?

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Speaker 1: Well, mine's a memory because the conversation that we had today.

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Speaker 1: I never went to teen Mania, unfortunately, I probably really

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Speaker 1: would have loved it, But I did go to Young Life.

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Speaker 1: Do you remember Young Life?

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, yes, Jack went to a Young Wife

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Speaker 2: I think Yatalie.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so I remember sneaking out of the house to

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Speaker 1: go to Young Life because my parents would have lost

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Speaker 1: their minds. I've said so on the podcast before, but

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Speaker 1: like my parents, to them, there were specific brand of

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Speaker 1: Christianity is like you can be friends with people who

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Speaker 1: are family are complete atheists, but you can't be friends

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Speaker 1: with like Young Life kind of Christians. So funny, yeah,

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Speaker 1: who like love Christmas? Like my parents didn't let us

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Speaker 1: celebrate Christmas because they said I was rude to Jesus

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Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. Yeah, So Young Life was an absolute,

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Speaker 1: like sacrilegious experience, and I just remember going and being

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Speaker 1: like so, I don't know, overwhelmed, and my cultiest thing

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Speaker 1: of the week was just this memory of like trying

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Speaker 1: to lift my hands up for like a split second

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Speaker 1: so you know how everybody else was to catch the spirit,

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Speaker 1: and then being embarrassed and putting them down, being like

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Speaker 1: I can't do that.

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Speaker 2: I actually don't know what you catch the spirit?

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Speaker 1: I put it on you like, but you're.

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Speaker 2: You know you've seen you've seen it, right, I mean

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Speaker 2: I guess generally I've seen Christian services where they're like

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Speaker 2: praise Jesus.

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Speaker 1: So I thought I could, Like I was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna test it out because my friend Hillary it was

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Speaker 1: all into it, and it's like, it's not for me.

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Speaker 1: It's not for me. I shied out of it right quick.

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Speaker 2: It's the same with so many religions. I feel like

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Speaker 2: I want to say, there's like some Muslim ideology like this.

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Speaker 2: There's some Mormon re FLDS ideology like this where the

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Speaker 2: person who's similar to you but has some differences is

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Speaker 2: worse than the person who like is fully a non believer,

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Speaker 2: which it's never really made sense to me. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: you have more in common with the latter, with the

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Speaker 2: former rather than the latter.

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Speaker 1: I guess the theory is that they know the correct

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Speaker 1: way and they're still doing it wrong.

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Speaker 2: So like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I am. I am so

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Speaker 2: evil for leaving Mormonism intentionally.

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Speaker 1: So that was mine. What about you? What's your cultiest

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Speaker 1: thing in the week.

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Speaker 2: I think I'm just going to talk about this clip

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Speaker 2: that's viral on Twitter today, which is basically comparing a

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Speaker 2: clip from Don't Look Up. I don't know if you

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Speaker 2: guys seen this movie, but you know it's very hitting

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Speaker 2: you over the head with a metaphor about how we

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Speaker 2: are currently viewing climate change or dealing with climate change

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Speaker 2: as a society. But it's got a clip with Jennifer

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Speaker 2: Lawrence on a show with Leonardo DiCaprio and they're like,

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Speaker 2: the world is literally ending.

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Speaker 1: Why are you?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 2: Why why are we pretending this isn't happening? In the

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Speaker 2: newscasters just like he he let's keep it light. We

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Speaker 2: like to keep it light on this show, followed by

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Speaker 2: an actual clip of a UK news show where there's

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Speaker 2: a meteorologist on and he's like, yeah, the weather's fine today,

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Speaker 2: but seriously, people are going to die because.

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Speaker 1: It's going to be it's so hot that people are

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Speaker 1: going to it's.

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Speaker 2: Going to be record levels of heat. People will die.

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Speaker 2: We don't have the infrastructure for this, Like this is

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Speaker 2: deadly and dangerous, and the newscaster is literally like.

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Speaker 3: Well we shouldn't.

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Speaker 2: Why are meteorologists all being so serious about this weather?

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Speaker 1: You have to do it in the British accent too,

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Speaker 1: because it makes it so much.

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Speaker 2: Why is mediorologists always being so serious about this weather?

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Speaker 1: Being so grumpy?

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Speaker 2: You're just so grumpy right now, what's what's the big deal?

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Speaker 2: It was how once in nineteen seventy five and he

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Speaker 2: is like, yeah, there was one heat wave one day

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Speaker 2: in the seventies. We are saying, we are telling you

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Speaker 2: that there are more extreme and more frequent heat waves

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Speaker 2: continuing to happen. It is getting worse. People are going

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Speaker 2: to die. And they're like, whoa chill out, bro.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, They're like, it's the summer and you're ruining our bugs, which,

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Speaker 1: let's face it, he was.

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Speaker 2: It's so funny though, I just like why. I've talked

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Speaker 2: about it before, and I don't need to go off

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Speaker 2: on a rent right now, but just the fact that

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Speaker 2: people don't believe scientists when they are all saying the

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Speaker 2: same thing is so fascinating to me. And it's like,

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Speaker 2: I know it's uncomfortable to face a reality that terrifying,

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Speaker 2: that the climate is changing in a very urgent and

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Speaker 2: dangerous way, that like if it doesn't require action, war fucked.

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Speaker 2: I know that that's like a lot to wrap your

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Speaker 2: head around. So I get why it's easier to cling

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Speaker 2: to the belief that it's not man made and this

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Speaker 2: is just normal and like it's not a big deal,

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Speaker 2: and with the libs are overblowing it, like it feels

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Speaker 2: more comfortable to live in that reality. But damn, at

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Speaker 2: a certain point, like everyone is making it up. Like

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Speaker 2: you really think every scientist except for like the two

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Speaker 2: guys who are paid by oil companies, is making it

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Speaker 2: up like nabra na brah. It is such a weird

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Speaker 2: time because I feel like, I mean, I've been retweeting

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Speaker 2: tweets about this. I feel like I have this keen

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Speaker 2: sense right now that like everything is apocalyptic and we're

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Speaker 2: just supposed to go about our lives and like be

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Speaker 2: normal and like not be in a constansated anxiety and

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Speaker 2: finding that balance and compartmentalizing but also trying to take

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Speaker 2: action has just been really tricky for me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, same, I mean, yeah, you have to know that

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Speaker 1: this is serious and also be able to be a human.

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Speaker 1: I don't. I'm not good at that. I don't think

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Speaker 1: we're supposed to be.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to join Extinction Rebellion because I've officially

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Speaker 2: officially aging out of Sunrise Movement in six months because

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Speaker 2: you have to be under thirty five.

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Speaker 1: Amazing, thanks Sunrise.

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Speaker 2: Fuck you Youth Movement. Yeah, but yeah, so I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna try some other shit. I feel like I can't.

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Speaker 2: The anxiety will not go away unless I do something.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I don't know. Whatever fight anyway.

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Speaker 2: Cultish mentality about the climate. That's my point, guys. I

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Speaker 2: swear it's culty. I swear my CULTI things are culty.

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Speaker 1: That is culty people saying it's not true.

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Speaker 2: That's a cult that no, legitimately yes, And it's a cult,

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Speaker 2: by the way, that has been marketed and purchased by

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Speaker 2: Republicans since the seventies and x On Corporation.

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Speaker 1: So we don't, you know, we're all just being manipulated.

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Speaker 2: We Why do I laugh like this now?

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Speaker 1: God damn it. Listen. I hope the executives are having

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Speaker 1: a really great summer. I hope that they're on their

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Speaker 1: yachts and that they're having the time of their lives.

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Speaker 1: And I think that that's what really matters. They need

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Speaker 1: some good vacas if it means all of our lives

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Speaker 1: better be having some fun, all the rest of us.

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Speaker 2: I hope definitely, seventy eight year olds were dying in

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Speaker 2: two years and leaving this world to us. Alrighty, guys,

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Speaker 2: let's talk about honor Academy, shall we?

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Speaker 1: Let's do it.

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Speaker 2: Welcome Luis Favela, my boyfriend's brother in law, to the show. Well, ladies, Ola,

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Speaker 2: your wife has been talking about your story to me

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Speaker 2: for a while now, so I'm excited to actually hear

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Speaker 2: everything that went down. Let's start from the beginning. What

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Speaker 2: religion were you growing up?

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Speaker 3: My family grew up Catholic, my dad, but I think

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Speaker 3: since the age of three, like I think they converted

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Speaker 3: into public Protestant more and it was like a pretty

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Speaker 3: Protestant Evangelistic or Pentecostal, kind of very charismatic, very religious,

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Speaker 3: strict household.

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Speaker 2: Did you believe in various religions that you were a part.

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Speaker 3: Of, so, I guess when you were a kid, you

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Speaker 3: just kind of like roll with it. Yeah, you know

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Speaker 3: your parents you're like, oh wow, this is really interesting.

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Speaker 3: This is like the lifestyle or you know, you're part

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Speaker 3: of this community. You see other kids, you start going

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Speaker 3: to church. I think it was pretty normal between ages

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Speaker 3: three and five, and then it got pretty intense because

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Speaker 3: I was really into music, Like since I've been a kid,

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Speaker 3: like you know, I've always been like playing stuff or

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Speaker 3: you know, super drawn to like music, dancey. Mostly when

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Speaker 3: I was kids, I was really into singing. Now I'm

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Speaker 3: kind of like more bashful. I'm like, I don't I

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Speaker 3: don't like to do it. I think it's probably because

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Speaker 3: of the you know, all the things that happened when

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Speaker 3: I was a kid. But anyways, when I was a kid,

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Speaker 3: I started, yeah, I was being part of like the

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Speaker 3: kids service, and I started doing like singing like special songs.

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Speaker 3: They started training me to be like a little worship

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Speaker 3: leader at age five.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, basically from the ages of like five to ten,

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Speaker 3: I was like leading worship services.

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Speaker 1: Oh my.

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Speaker 3: It was just like reciting and memorizing all this content

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Speaker 3: that I look back into, like, you know, all these songs,

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Speaker 3: all these scriptures and like opening basically like opening you know,

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Speaker 3: services up like with the scripture and then like singing

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Speaker 3: a set like thirty minutes just me. And there's video

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Speaker 3: of this, like home videos and every time I go

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Speaker 3: back home, like my parents played it and stuff. So

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Speaker 3: that was my experience growing up as a kid.

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Speaker 2: You were a little leader in your church from such

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Speaker 2: a young age and you were just kind of going

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Speaker 2: along with it.

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Speaker 1: Though. Did you have like really strong faith or anything.

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Speaker 3: I guess when I was a little kid, I want

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Speaker 3: to say, yes, I had strong faith. Everything that I

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Speaker 3: saw and everything that manifested itself was in front of me,

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Speaker 3: and I was like I guess it's truth. You know,

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Speaker 3: if my parents are doing I see these communities. My

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Speaker 3: you know, friends in church there were small two of

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Speaker 3: their parents were doing it.

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Speaker 1: So totally. I mean, it's your community, it's your lifestyle.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and everybody, what I gotta say, I grew up.

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Speaker 3: I'm from Oxnard, California, and the community there, you know,

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Speaker 3: it's mostly Mexican or you know, Hispanic Chicano community, so everybody.

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Speaker 3: That's when I was little, I was like everybody, it's

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Speaker 3: like me, you know, it's like my brothers, sisters. Everybody

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Speaker 3: looks like me. I guess we're doing the right thing.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I was part of a community, and

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Speaker 3: I felt really comfortable doing it. I didn't notice obviously

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Speaker 3: I'm not a lot of kids. I felt special, you know,

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Speaker 3: you're like, oh, I get to lead worship, I get

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Speaker 3: to play. It was mostly actually between ages five and eight,

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Speaker 3: I was mostly singing, and then I was really always

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Speaker 3: interested in playing. But the band director, his kid was

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Speaker 3: the keyboard player, and I was really drawn into keys always,

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Speaker 3: and I just knew I didn't kind of have a

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Speaker 3: chance playing, so I just kind of stuck to vocals

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Speaker 3: for the moment. So yeah, growing up, I've always been like, ah,

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Speaker 3: kind of skeptical about everything, questioning everything, obviously even my parents.

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Speaker 3: So I got to an age I was like a

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Speaker 3: debater and always questioning their you know, the way they

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Speaker 3: disciplined me and showing those hints of like I guess

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Speaker 3: like my parents would be like, oh, you're a rebel,

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Speaker 3: Like we got to get the demons out of you, right,

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Speaker 3: So that's why they made me read more scripture, memorize more,

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Speaker 3: you know, song.

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Speaker 1: Worship songs, literal demons. Would they really think that there

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Speaker 1: were demons?

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Speaker 3: I think they were just kind of saying it. No,

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Speaker 3: I think they were just like influences. That's probably like

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Speaker 3: the word you're just being influenced by the worldly or

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Speaker 3: I don't know if you heard that term world.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's all my parents said, say worldly music, that's

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Speaker 1: worldly stuff.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So I'm gonna say I never was like one hundred percent,

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Speaker 3: and I don't know what that means. Sometimes I'm like

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Speaker 3: what does it mean to be one hundred percent? And

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Speaker 3: you know, I felt like in the moment, I was

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Speaker 3: trying to do what I could, and like, you know,

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Speaker 3: I was like, well I feel pretty comfortable, and I

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Speaker 3: like what I'm doing and it seems right.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, there's no reason at that age to be

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Speaker 2: like this is wrong necessarily. I think Megan had that experience,

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Speaker 2: but I do think that's a more rare child take

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Speaker 2: on their parents' religion. Okay, so when did you first

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Speaker 2: hear about the Honor Academy.

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Speaker 3: So the Honor Academy basically my teenage years, I rebelled.

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Speaker 3: I went into like a rebel mode and I didn't

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Speaker 3: want to do anything really with like religion or church,

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Speaker 3: but I wanted to appease my parents. How we had

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Speaker 3: like that in relationship. I'm like and in school, I

284
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Speaker 3: was like failing. I was doing really poorly. I was like, hey,

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Speaker 3: you're not bad influence, but I was just not really

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Speaker 3: doing the academic world. So my parents were really frustrated

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Speaker 3: and they're like, what are we gonna do? You know,

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Speaker 3: our kids that were like our little saint that we

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Speaker 3: instructed in the word like he now he's like rebelled.

290
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Speaker 3: I was like playing for pumpin. So I think the

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Speaker 3: worship are like the worship director and a couple of

292
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Speaker 3: like the youth group leaders went to this internship slash academy.

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Speaker 3: It was like a school basically, and they told my parents,

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Speaker 3: They're like, hey, they have it has a music program.

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Speaker 3: We know Luis is really passionate and it's accredited by

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Speaker 3: you know, this institution. So I know he's not doing

297
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Speaker 3: really good in like school right now. Maybe this is

298
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Speaker 3: an opportunity, you know, to get back on track. And

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Speaker 3: obviously the foundation of it is like super religious is Christian.

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Speaker 3: It's like Christian boot camper. Yeah, like basically like worship

301
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Speaker 3: military school or kind of like that. I didn't really

302
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Speaker 3: wanted to go, but at the same time, I did

303
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,840
Speaker 3: feel like stuck. I wanted to like kind of find

304
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Speaker 3: success in music. And the thing that they said accredited,

305
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:28,920
Speaker 3: you know, I was like, oh, maybe I could learn

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00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,960
Speaker 3: some theory or like some music stuff that I don't

307
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:35,240
Speaker 3: really know. Plus they said, like, you know, you'd be

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Speaker 3: playing in worship teams, which I grew up on my

309
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:42,480
Speaker 3: life playing worship music. That's basically what I grew up playing,

310
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Speaker 3: as well as I developed through the years, you know,

311
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Speaker 3: first as a lead sat or you know, singer, and

312
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Speaker 3: then like more into like piano and like other instruments.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, just like the foundation of like him's different

314
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Speaker 3: kind of music genres. So I was like, oh, maybe

315
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Speaker 3: I'll learn something new. Obviously, they kind of pitched it

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Speaker 3: as like it's a school college, so I'm like, oh,

317
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Speaker 3: maybe i'll meet more cool people like me. I was like,

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Speaker 3: there has to be, you know, people that are into

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Speaker 3: the same kind of music, the same kind of stuff

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Speaker 3: that I am.

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Speaker 1: So how old were you?

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Speaker 3: So I was about to be twenty one?

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Speaker 1: Okay, so I was pretty old.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it wasn't like right off of high school. Like

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Speaker 3: I said, I had a pretty bad experience with school.

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Speaker 3: I ended up getting kicked out from high school and

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Speaker 3: I had to like go get like a ged and

328
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Speaker 3: stuff like that just because it was bad. All I

329
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Speaker 3: wanted to do was playing like a rock band. And yeah,

330
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Speaker 3: just too.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I get it.

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Speaker 3: So I can imagine that like going from like super

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Speaker 3: structural like oh my parents religious to like now my

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Speaker 3: kid is just wearing black and you know, listening to drinking,

335
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Speaker 3: screaming music, and yeah, it's definitely falling off now going

336
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Speaker 3: to school, just hanging out, just going to back air

337
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,600
Speaker 3: shows and stuff like that. Right, So I went there

338
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:58,560
Speaker 3: because I wanted to appease my family as well, and

339
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Speaker 3: I just want to kind of like build the relationship

340
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Speaker 3: with my parents, and like I said, in the back

341
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Speaker 3: of my mind, it wasn't that like I knew where

342
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Speaker 3: I was going. But also it was financially my parents

343
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,320
Speaker 3: have paid upfront for it, so they were kind of

344
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Speaker 3: like sending me to you know, a school.

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Speaker 2: They were like working to send you to this place.

346
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Speaker 3: And I was like plain excited. I was like, oh excited,

347
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:24,240
Speaker 3: But I was like, man, Louis this is it, like

348
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:27,400
Speaker 3: you didn't graduate. Like if I could only finish this,

349
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,160
Speaker 3: maybe I would be able to like, you know, please

350
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,440
Speaker 3: or you know, be like my parents. Oh he finally

351
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:35,760
Speaker 3: like did something. He got an accredited or you know,

352
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,760
Speaker 3: like a diploma, but we couldn't find out. This place

353
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:43,160
Speaker 3: doesn't really give any certifications or anything like that.

354
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Speaker 2: So is it presented as like a college.

355
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Speaker 3: It's presented as a college, and I think they lost

356
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Speaker 3: their accreditation. They were accredited by the school called Oral Roberts,

357
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,960
Speaker 3: so you could take like English classes and stuff. They

358
00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:01,080
Speaker 3: were like mostly online through them, like taking online courses.

359
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:03,120
Speaker 3: But you're like in the premises and so.

360
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Speaker 1: Did you say they were accredited by something called Oral Roberts.

361
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Speaker 1: This is like the school it's just such a funny name.

362
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Speaker 3: In the South like, I don't know if it's like

363
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Speaker 3: the only reason is because all this side. I were

364
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Speaker 3: watching the a NCUAA tournament.

365
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:19,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I.

366
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,359
Speaker 3: Saw the basketball team and it said Oral Roberts, and

367
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Speaker 3: I mind, it was like this like sixteen seed, Like no,

368
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:28,760
Speaker 3: they were playing like that, and I was like, I

369
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:32,000
Speaker 3: know that name Oral Roberts. And they're like, it's a

370
00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:35,280
Speaker 3: university and I was like yes, I was like the

371
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:38,760
Speaker 3: academy I went to. Their accreditation was through that school,

372
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Speaker 3: and you like we went and did some research as

373
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Speaker 3: like a conservative conservative like kind of like you know,

374
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,720
Speaker 3: university blah blah blah. And I was like, oh, it

375
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,680
Speaker 3: makes sense. It's like Christian and stuff.

376
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Speaker 1: Right.

377
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Speaker 2: It looks like Oral Roberts was a televangelist and I

378
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Speaker 2: guess then he started a university.

379
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Speaker 1: That's such a poor name. I just or All Roberts,

380
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Speaker 1: and I love it.

381
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,080
Speaker 2: He should have gone to the wrong industration.

382
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Speaker 1: He really did. When I was watching videos of this

383
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Speaker 1: last night, which I did until five am, if anybody

384
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Speaker 1: wants to check out where you went, it is fascinating endlessly.

385
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Speaker 1: At first, I was like, oh, is this where like

386
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Speaker 1: maybe bad kids go? But then it was like no,

387
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Speaker 1: I think this is where the really serious kids go.

388
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Speaker 1: So is it a little mixture of both, but they're

389
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Speaker 1: like torturing the good kids like they're in boot camp.

390
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Speaker 3: It's a little bit of both, yes, And you have

391
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Speaker 3: to fill out an application and everything, and obviously on

392
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,520
Speaker 3: the application it says like, you know, do you have

393
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Speaker 3: a relationship with God like all this, And of course

394
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Speaker 3: I grew up. I was like, yes, I could name

395
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,720
Speaker 3: you know, Old Testament, New Testament? Profits what are you.

396
00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:46,720
Speaker 3: At the same time, like I told you, when I

397
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,639
Speaker 3: was feeling this, I was excited because it was like

398
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,919
Speaker 3: the first time, I'm like, okay, where I really like

399
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,879
Speaker 3: Now maybe this like I have an opportunity to like

400
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,640
Speaker 3: go back and like finish something.

401
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd be excited. I'd be so excited.

402
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,000
Speaker 3: I've got to rejected. I just got kicked out of

403
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:01,359
Speaker 3: high school and now they told me I need to

404
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,800
Speaker 3: go to adult school and like finish off. Oh. It's

405
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,840
Speaker 3: like a sense of like, oh, I'm getting accepted.

406
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:09,000
Speaker 1: I'm going to like cartage coming together my parents, you know.

407
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,320
Speaker 3: And my parents I'm gonna say, I'm just gonna drop.

408
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,159
Speaker 3: My parents are Mexican, they immigrated to the States, and

409
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,359
Speaker 3: you know, the eighties. So to them, I don't know

410
00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:19,040
Speaker 3: if you culturally like that's one of the biggest things.

411
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:21,000
Speaker 3: If you see your kids going to college, they come

412
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:24,600
Speaker 3: here for a better opportunity, right, They're like, oh wow.

413
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,399
Speaker 3: So to me, it was like the pressure. I'm first

414
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:31,200
Speaker 3: born as well, so it was like the pressure of like, man,

415
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:34,479
Speaker 3: maybe I could save save the family image, and like,

416
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,320
Speaker 3: you know, I'm like, oh, I went to some sort

417
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:38,680
Speaker 3: of academy.

418
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,640
Speaker 1: So well, that's a lot of pressure definitely.

419
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,960
Speaker 3: And once my parents told me, they're like, yeah, we

420
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:46,679
Speaker 3: put money up front, then it was like, Okay, I

421
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,119
Speaker 3: know this is serious because it's not like we just

422
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,960
Speaker 3: had money to blow, you know. I was like okay, yeah,

423
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,520
Speaker 3: like I have to commit, like I want my parents

424
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,520
Speaker 3: money to go somewhere. You know.

425
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,000
Speaker 1: How long about program was.

426
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,840
Speaker 3: It was a year, but there was a he could

427
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,840
Speaker 3: have stayed up to three years. I think two to

428
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,919
Speaker 3: three years, and it was crazy everything. I don't know

429
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,720
Speaker 3: if you did like some research, but like the program,

430
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 3: it's basically self run by students by undergrads. Like undergrads

431
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:20,960
Speaker 3: work the grounds and like the campus, everything from call centers, logistically,

432
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,000
Speaker 3: everything is run basically it's like.

433
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,159
Speaker 1: Camp counselors a little bit is what it felt like.

434
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, and have you heard I don't know if you

435
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,240
Speaker 3: guys are have you heard like y wam Mercy Ships

436
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:35,040
Speaker 3: all these like non like organizations, and it was like

437
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 3: they had like different programs, but everything was called Team

438
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,600
Speaker 3: Mania Ministries, which was run by Ron Luce.

439
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:46,159
Speaker 1: Okay, And is he the lunatic with the thing that

440
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:47,400
Speaker 1: he's yelling through all the time.

441
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:51,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is the horn. Actually is Dave Hawes, which

442
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,280
Speaker 3: he was the president or like the chancellor you would

443
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,920
Speaker 3: call him of the Canady.

444
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,800
Speaker 2: So the Honor Academy is underneath this larger umbrella of

445
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:01,480
Speaker 2: Mania Ministries.

446
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,760
Speaker 3: Yes, and too many ministries has their school which is

447
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,280
Speaker 3: the Academy. And they also run like they used to

448
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,920
Speaker 3: call it used to be called Acquire the Fire. I

449
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 3: don't know if you or Winter Jam. Have you heard

450
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,639
Speaker 3: of like that where they bring all these artists and

451
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,560
Speaker 3: it's like a huge, like three day thing for like teams.

452
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 1: Is it connected to like young Life, that's what everybody

453
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,359
Speaker 1: in Kansas did Young Life.

454
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:26,359
Speaker 3: I don't know if it's connected, but maybe, like you know, every.

455
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 1: Okay, I think it's a similar.

456
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,440
Speaker 3: Encourages these young teenager we used to run like all

457
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:35,440
Speaker 3: these basically three day events where there's like speakers, there's bands.

458
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:39,000
Speaker 3: You know, I remember back in the day they got

459
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,920
Speaker 3: I think it was like POD because Pod like got

460
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:48,560
Speaker 3: to play in the early days, like you know, the

461
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:53,240
Speaker 3: nation like you know, so like these artists that had

462
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,080
Speaker 3: like a pool. I don't know if you heard of

463
00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 3: the Newsboys and all like just Christian kind of like

464
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 3: contemporary artists. They and then there was another organization called

465
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:06,920
Speaker 3: Global Expeditions, which was all their mission work. So they

466
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 3: had all these connections that were like two in different

467
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:13,760
Speaker 3: countries and they're like basically would the students are like yeah,

468
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:17,200
Speaker 3: like the interns, we would call all these like churches

469
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 3: and their youth especially, I would say, we would we'd

470
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,280
Speaker 3: focus on like big churches who are like kids with

471
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,040
Speaker 3: money and be like, hey, do you want to go

472
00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:27,679
Speaker 3: change the world? Do you want to go you know

473
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 3: to Africa or Mexico or you know, and then you're

474
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:34,120
Speaker 3: gonna obviously they had connections there, you know with obviously

475
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,639
Speaker 3: Christian leaders there, and then they would take them to

476
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:40,679
Speaker 3: these communities they would do outreach or Bible study or

477
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 3: or call it vacation Bible school, and you would run

478
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:49,560
Speaker 3: these programs with like missionaries and interns, and then obviously

479
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,280
Speaker 3: staff members that would go and facilitate the whole thing

480
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:53,119
Speaker 3: too as well.

481
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:57,320
Speaker 2: So it's the Honor Academy training people who are then

482
00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 2: going to go be missionaries in the other Basically, yes,

483
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,560
Speaker 2: I noticed they were calling them interns in the videos.

484
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:05,359
Speaker 2: Is that what they called the students?

485
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 3: The students?

486
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,080
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, they were interns, all right.

487
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:11,240
Speaker 3: Once I learned that. When I got there, I thought

488
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:14,520
Speaker 3: it was a student. And then once I got to

489
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:17,520
Speaker 3: the place, I remember we got like they're in buses.

490
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:20,400
Speaker 3: They took us to middle of nowhere, east out east

491
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:24,359
Speaker 3: of Dallas. It's called Garden Valley, this small town like

492
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 3: middle of nowhere, and there's these gates and like it's like,

493
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:31,840
Speaker 3: you know, it's like a campus. You're like, wow, like dorms, cafeteria,

494
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 3: a bunch of like you know, and it looks like

495
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 3: a college campus and you're just like basketball courts, volleyball courts, pool.

496
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 3: You're like, Okay, you get off the bus, you go

497
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:45,040
Speaker 3: to your dorm. And then the first weekend it's called

498
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:51,119
Speaker 3: like Gautlet and it's basically like they're trying to brainwash

499
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 3: and you can do a contract kind of saying like hey,

500
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:57,399
Speaker 3: I know, And then I remember that intern this is

501
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 3: an internship and I read it and I was like

502
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 3: a credit school blah blah blah internships. So when I heard,

503
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 3: when I saw that, I was like, I'm here to work.

504
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 3: That's the first thing I clicked in my mind. I'm like,

505
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 3: I'm gonna work. I'm going to exchange my work for something,

506
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,120
Speaker 3: Like what am I gonna do? So basically, they put

507
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:17,040
Speaker 3: you on these ministry placements, and I remember you have

508
00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 3: to go through these tests for like the first weekend,

509
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:21,639
Speaker 3: like they want to see your skill sets, you know,

510
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:23,960
Speaker 3: and like I wanted to be in the call center

511
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 3: because I met some cool guys. Like I was like, oh,

512
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,360
Speaker 3: we've bun over music blah blah blah. No, I ended

513
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:32,040
Speaker 3: up going to Kitchen Crew cafeteria.

514
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,600
Speaker 1: So you're paying to go work in a kitchen, yes,

515
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:37,359
Speaker 1: for free.

516
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,960
Speaker 3: And I thought I was enrolling in a music program.

517
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:44,359
Speaker 1: So and can you say a little bit more about

518
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:45,680
Speaker 1: the Gauntlet weekend?

519
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, So that weekend, it's like a three day weekend

520
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:54,800
Speaker 3: and you're like in these like basically meetings or sessions

521
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,960
Speaker 3: about a bunch of like you know, the worldly things

522
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,479
Speaker 3: the Christian spiritual world, like what you're going to go

523
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:05,440
Speaker 3: through like the process of the internship, This whole year

524
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:10,160
Speaker 3: is gonna like shape basically your character the way you

525
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,119
Speaker 3: are and you know, become an adult or yeah, you

526
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 3: care yourself for the rest of your life.

527
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,760
Speaker 2: Are there any like intense emotional activities that they would

528
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 2: do to like, yes, take you on a journey.

529
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 3: Yes, so I remember this is at the end like

530
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:28,240
Speaker 3: of all this, they're like we and I think it

531
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 3: was like the same kind of sermon. They're like for

532
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 3: the Cross. You know, you got to give it all.

533
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 3: You got to bring all your you know, everything that

534
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:39,159
Speaker 3: God doesn't want, and like you you have to confess.

535
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:42,199
Speaker 3: It was like basically that a confession session of like

536
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,680
Speaker 3: confessing everything you've done, like you could. It's a queen

537
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 3: slate from here on, like if you broke rules. Obviously

538
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 3: there's a bunch of reflecs no alcohol that you couldn't

539
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:52,920
Speaker 3: be in a relationship going into the program, Like there

540
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 3: was no.

541
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,399
Speaker 2: Data even as a twenty year old you could be

542
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:57,959
Speaker 2: in a relationship.

543
00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 3: And that Wow, that's the thing that was pretty crazy.

544
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:01,879
Speaker 3: I was one of the oldest ones. I feel like

545
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:06,679
Speaker 3: they mostly triggered like eighteen year olds like after high school,

546
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 3: they don't know where they're going, like that transition period

547
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 3: of like I'm not going to college, right, I think

548
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:13,520
Speaker 3: I want to take a year off, so they would

549
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 3: send those are like the kids they want that they

550
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 3: don't know what they want to do with it, like

551
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 3: especially in like that transition period. And then they're like, oh, perfect, well,

552
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:24,639
Speaker 3: obviously you have like a like a Christian background as well,

553
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,359
Speaker 3: you know, the right enough colleges for me. But I

554
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,040
Speaker 3: still want to be like in a ministry. I still

555
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 3: want to serve the Lord blah blah blah. You know,

556
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 3: I still want.

557
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:35,120
Speaker 2: To do something a young person at the exact time

558
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:38,119
Speaker 2: in their life where they're looking for identity and looking

559
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 2: for like right, some kind of structure direction for their life.

560
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,960
Speaker 2: That's like the most vulnerable part of the population.

561
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,880
Speaker 1: Do you think that they were getting those confessions from

562
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 1: you to use it against you? Kind of a scientology

563
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,680
Speaker 1: type of a thing, like now they know all your secrets?

564
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 3: Uh? And I think so, because yeah, like you were

565
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,600
Speaker 3: confessing like I'm gonna be honest and you can like

566
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,399
Speaker 3: they're like, you know, especially with questions, this is like

567
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 3: a very strict environment. I've just struggling with sexuality, like

568
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,679
Speaker 3: questions like that, like are you act like are you

569
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:11,360
Speaker 3: looking at porn or pornography?

570
00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:11,439
Speaker 4: You?

571
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 3: Are you engaging a sexual relationship? Are you doing drugs

572
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:18,440
Speaker 3: like stuff? So you were like writing stuff down. I remember,

573
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,040
Speaker 3: this is a this is one of the things I

574
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:24,240
Speaker 3: want to make clear. Like I've always been like on

575
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:27,200
Speaker 3: the fence of things, So going into this was like,

576
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,199
Speaker 3: I know where I'm here. My parents paid for it.

577
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:33,360
Speaker 3: I want to, you know, amend the relationship with my parents.

578
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 3: And I was just like I'm going to click the

579
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:37,840
Speaker 3: boxes and I'm going to try to navigate as you

580
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,399
Speaker 3: know this this whole year, do this right, and just

581
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:43,639
Speaker 3: get this homa, go back home and get my parents

582
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 3: off my back for a little bit. Yeah yeah, yeah,

583
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:50,199
Speaker 3: so yes, I actually did. I was just like pretty honest,

584
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,439
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, you know, the weekend before or

585
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 3: two weekends before going to the internship, I went to

586
00:27:56,040 --> 00:28:00,520
Speaker 3: Vegas for my twenty first birthday party. So like basically,

587
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 3: I remember I met with this dorm director where you're

588
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 3: doing the application and you're signing and he's like, man,

589
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,879
Speaker 3: have you been struggling? And I was like, basically I

590
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 3: was like everything in this list, like you know I've

591
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 3: done and I was like yeah, and he's like, no worries.

592
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,360
Speaker 3: This weekend, You're gonna like amend the relationship with guy.

593
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,119
Speaker 3: And I remember the biggest thing about that weekend. So

594
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 3: at the end of this whole thing, they had like

595
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 3: this huge bonfire and they told everybody to go get

596
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:29,040
Speaker 3: whatever possessions or secrets or like Banti's or you know,

597
00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:32,600
Speaker 3: if they brought weed or anything and throw it into

598
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:35,679
Speaker 3: the fire. And it was gonna be like a clean slate.

599
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 3: And I remember I went back to my dorm and

600
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 3: my dorm director room with me, and I had like

601
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:46,479
Speaker 3: a Nirvana T shirt I had. He's like grab it.

602
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 3: So I grabbed it and I put it on like

603
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:50,480
Speaker 3: on a trash bag, and I just put it under

604
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 3: my bed. I was like, there's there's no way these

605
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 3: t shirts a like I remember how I had. I

606
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 3: was a big like nine inch now fan or and

607
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 3: then I had like the CD and I was like, well, yep,

608
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 3: it's going in this trash bag. I'm like I'm throwing

609
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 3: it away but not really nice.

610
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 2: Sorry, we go to preserve your sense of self and

611
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,720
Speaker 2: not let them like immediately strip all of the things

612
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 2: about you away.

613
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, so throughout the whole weekend, it was like we

614
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 3: were supposed to carry ourselves in a different way. And

615
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 3: you gotta remember, I'm a I'm a teenager from l A.

616
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,120
Speaker 3: I grew up in a you know, Spanish English speaking somebody.

617
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 3: It was like slang everywhere and people were like what

618
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 3: and it was like crasswords. They would call it crasswords

619
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 3: like I was gonna say I was using foul language.

620
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 3: I would drop the you know, the F bomb like

621
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 3: and they were like come up to me, like these

622
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:47,880
Speaker 3: dorm directors and like these other introns that were really

623
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 3: serious about God, and they're like they would confront me

624
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 3: and they're like, hey, man, like the way you're carrying,

625
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,959
Speaker 3: the way you're speaking, it's it's not correct. And I

626
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 3: was like what do you say? I was and they're

627
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 3: like you just said something. And I'd be like damn,

628
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 3: what did I say? And they're like you just said

629
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:11,480
Speaker 3: I was like yeah, I was like what are you

630
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 3: talking about? So it was like it was like wow,

631
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 3: it was like like you said, there was like really

632
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 3: intense kids like they were in it for they were

633
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 3: like we were called to be like you know, the

634
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:25,239
Speaker 3: salt of the earth, and they were really into this,

635
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:28,400
Speaker 3: like we're going to change the world. And then as

636
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 3: the internship went on, I started identifying people that were

637
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 3: kind of like in the same place that their parents

638
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 3: kind of sent them here because they were like kind

639
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,320
Speaker 3: of fun ups or you know, and those are the

640
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 3: well I started really like clicking and basically we just

641
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 3: kind of became a core and we kind of navigated

642
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:51,080
Speaker 3: the whole throughout the whole system or through the right experience.

643
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:51,560
Speaker 1: Thank god.

644
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm glad there were people that you could connect

645
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 2: with their at all.

646
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 4: I feel like, yeah, like I said, I grew up

647
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 4: in two cultures Mexican Americans, so just assimilating like this,

648
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:05,840
Speaker 4: I'm gonna speak English here or like it's safe to

649
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 4: you know, bring you know, Spanglish into this because there

650
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,000
Speaker 4: was there was also one of.

651
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,160
Speaker 3: The things that I really I was like, wow, it

652
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 3: was the first time I met people from different denominations

653
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:19,360
Speaker 3: because there was like Catholics, there was Mormons, oh there,

654
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 3: it was Christians.

655
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:24,200
Speaker 5: Really it was like yeah, so non denominational or like

656
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 5: and then there was like yeah, there was like different

657
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 5: kinds and I'm like wow, this is crazy because I

658
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 5: grew up in like a super Pentecostal kind of charismatic

659
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 5: and then there was Baptists.

660
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 3: So it was like the first time I started like, so,

661
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 3: what's your faith and they were like tell me this,

662
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 3: And in my mind I never wanted to like offend

663
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 3: anybody or like this is what I believe. I would

664
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 3: just kind of roll with it, like you know, I'd

665
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:46,960
Speaker 3: be like, oh, okay. I was like I think I

666
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 3: was like, well, I'm kind of like non denominational, but

667
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 3: I was really Pentecostal, and I would just kind of

668
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:54,880
Speaker 3: like navigate conversations and be like, oh, why align with

669
00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 3: that belief as well? You know, because people were like intense.

670
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 3: They would talk about rapture and like you know, like

671
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 3: the Book of Revelation and like all this stuff, and

672
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 3: I was like, wow, like I heard that, but this

673
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 3: is like next level.

674
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 2: In terms of leadership. So you have the like your

675
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 2: fellow peers basically who are leading everything, but who's above them,

676
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 2: like who's telling them.

677
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:20,000
Speaker 1: What to do.

678
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 3: Rouns was the president of the whole Team Mania Ministries.

679
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:27,560
Speaker 3: Dave Hawes was under the Honor Academy the school, so

680
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 3: basically and there there was like Heath Stoner which was

681
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 3: like probably another guy under Dave Hawes. It was probably

682
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,479
Speaker 3: like let's say by president or something. And then there

683
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 3: was like the second and third years were staff members,

684
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,640
Speaker 3: and they were like dorm directors, you know. They were

685
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:49,840
Speaker 3: like administrative like people on top of or head of

686
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:53,520
Speaker 3: like the calling center, head of like you know, the

687
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 3: grounds of maintenance, or head of like the global expedition

688
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 3: ops and stuff. So there was it was a very complex.

689
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 1: How many people, Yeah, we're there like ten thousand, five thousand,

690
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,080
Speaker 1: two thousand, four hundred.

691
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:11,160
Speaker 3: Plus each class. I think our class was probably around

692
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:15,240
Speaker 3: seven hundred and fifty out internas. And then there's probably

693
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 3: I'm going to say, like two hundred to three hundred

694
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 3: staff members.

695
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 1: Oh wow, okay, it's a little city.

696
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 3: It's a little city. And like I said, yeah, the

697
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 3: second and third years would become staff members. So once

698
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 3: you went through the first year and they saw that man,

699
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 3: this guy has like really good you know, skill sets

700
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,960
Speaker 3: or things that he could we see good leadership skills,

701
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 3: good you know, so there'd be like, hey, do you

702
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 3: want to extend a second year in the extent, and

703
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,160
Speaker 3: then once you stayed, you don't pay as an intern,

704
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 3: they actually pay you like a stipend kind of.

705
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 2: I was gonna ask, okay, so right, and they give you.

706
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 1: Like a twod allowance and stuff, and like okay, and.

707
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're basically working for the internship, you know, forty

708
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 3: fifty your full time employee, and you live there on

709
00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:59,160
Speaker 3: campus because they own so this place, I forget. So

710
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 3: when you go in, it's like these gates and it's

711
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:03,480
Speaker 3: a lot on them. I want to say, it's like

712
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 3: over four hundred and something acres of land.

713
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:09,280
Speaker 2: And it's like woodsy right like I was watching some videos,

714
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:12,920
Speaker 2: it's like lots of trees ces the pathway.

715
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,760
Speaker 3: Like right away you see like the dorms, the cafeteria,

716
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 3: like a chapel. But then you keep going in and

717
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:21,520
Speaker 3: there's like other buildings like ground maintenance. There's like a

718
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:25,840
Speaker 3: workout building, and then there's like they would host or

719
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:28,800
Speaker 3: they would do like a camp of extreme camp events

720
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:31,760
Speaker 3: for like church, different churches, and they had like little

721
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:36,440
Speaker 3: campsites up there as well. And then like they had

722
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 3: two obstacle courses military. I think you could see in

723
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 3: a couple of the videos. I don't know how they

724
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:45,840
Speaker 3: got them, but they were like straight up from like

725
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:49,319
Speaker 3: the Marines, like old equipment god, and like it was

726
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:53,200
Speaker 3: like Navy seals kind of like obstacle courses and those

727
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:55,359
Speaker 3: were like really like you had to go like one

728
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:59,600
Speaker 3: mile or two miles into campus to see these places there.

729
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,320
Speaker 3: And then the was like man constructed lakes and stuff.

730
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,760
Speaker 3: It was really it was like crazy because I remember

731
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 3: that first weekend as well as like going through all

732
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:11,000
Speaker 3: these like basically like sessions of like they're just like

733
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:14,080
Speaker 3: counting you with like what's gonna go Like what are

734
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,399
Speaker 3: you gonna go through? Like you have to leave all

735
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 3: you know, they're trying new slate, leave all like you're

736
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 3: old behind. We're gonna instruct you, We're gonna equip you.

737
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:25,560
Speaker 3: There's gonna be like character development classes all this stuff.

738
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 3: Then I remember after that weekend we started, they would

739
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:30,800
Speaker 3: wake us up at six in the morning, and in

740
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 3: a period of six weeks, seven weeks, it was physical

741
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 3: stuff like they would wake us up at six in

742
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:38,920
Speaker 3: the morning, like in our dorm, like we had like

743
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,320
Speaker 3: you know, our dorm director wake us up and we

744
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:44,799
Speaker 3: would go run like two to three miles every day

745
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:47,640
Speaker 3: every morning. And that was like the beginning of it.

746
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:49,600
Speaker 3: And then I was like, man, like that's when I

747
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 3: was like, is this like military school? Like what is

748
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:56,680
Speaker 3: going on? Like I remember calling my parents and I

749
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:59,440
Speaker 3: was like I need to get out of here, and

750
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:01,880
Speaker 3: they're like, you mean you're gonna go through it? And

751
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:03,920
Speaker 3: I was like I don't think. I was like, I

752
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 3: haven't taken one music class and I've been here for

753
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 3: four days and I haven't seen an instrument. I haven't

754
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:12,799
Speaker 3: seen a piano, I haven't seen a music room. I

755
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:16,400
Speaker 3: was like, it's just like straight. I was like, it's different.

756
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 3: I was like, this is not what they put on,

757
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,279
Speaker 3: you know, like the website like telling you like the

758
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:23,920
Speaker 3: options or you know, like the curriculum or whatever.

759
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:25,600
Speaker 1: And I was yeah.

760
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:27,680
Speaker 3: My parents I was like, no, you go through it.

761
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 1: You know.

762
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:30,480
Speaker 3: They're like we already paid some money, like you got this,

763
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:33,279
Speaker 3: like you know, just being super encouraging, and I was

764
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 3: like okay. So I was just basically yeah, So.

765
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:39,759
Speaker 2: A typical day, at least maybe in the beginning, A

766
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,680
Speaker 2: typical day is you wake up at six, they send

767
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,440
Speaker 2: you on a run, and then like what else is

768
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 2: there more physical training?

769
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 3: Yes, you do like push ups, you start doing like

770
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:52,279
Speaker 3: obviously like you know, you start like stretching like some

771
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 3: yoga poses and like all this is being directed by

772
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:57,880
Speaker 3: Dame Haas. That guy he had like a little like

773
00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 3: tower and then you would go to.

774
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 2: Like that's a tower, like a little made.

775
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:05,920
Speaker 3: Up like wooden kind of not tower by stage, but

776
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,399
Speaker 3: he was it was like basically he was on top

777
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 3: of that and he.

778
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:12,319
Speaker 4: Had like a oh my po or like microphone and

779
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 4: he said come on everybody, and they would play music

780
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 4: and they're.

781
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:19,920
Speaker 3: I'm trying to remember what's the word for that training

782
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 3: because everybody knew it. So these five weeks, but they

783
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 3: told you, they're like, we're going to shape you to

784
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:28,400
Speaker 3: be like in the best shape mentally, physically, you know,

785
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,480
Speaker 3: so you could be aware for the next year of

786
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 3: like you know, shaping of your experience here and the

787
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:38,799
Speaker 3: Honor Academy. And then they started introducing, uh this term

788
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:44,480
Speaker 3: called LTEs life Transforming Events, which is like crucial. That

789
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,280
Speaker 3: is like one word I'll never forget. And they start

790
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:51,040
Speaker 3: so ISO is one of the things that you see,

791
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:53,680
Speaker 3: I don't know, we're like the military, like super military.

792
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:56,920
Speaker 3: It's like three four days e A s o L

793
00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 3: emotionally strengthening Opportunity of a lifetime. So EASEL, they were amazing,

794
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:05,120
Speaker 3: we're prepping for easel it's gonna be in six weeks.

795
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 3: So yeah, we had the structure, like you said, wake

796
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 3: up at six in the morning, do physical work, push ups,

797
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 3: you know, jumping jacks, run two three miles, and then

798
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,800
Speaker 3: we would go eat breakfast, and then we would have courses.

799
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:19,360
Speaker 3: We would have like character development, like you know, like

800
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 3: Bible study, blah blah blah, and then you would go

801
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:27,880
Speaker 3: into your work placement, which mine was cafeteria. Others people's

802
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 3: grounds and maintenance. Other people reguards, other people are call

803
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:33,919
Speaker 3: centers stuff. So everybody was like and you would work

804
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:35,400
Speaker 3: for six to seven hours.

805
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:36,120
Speaker 1: Damn.

806
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,520
Speaker 3: I was in the cafeteria. I was taking two to

807
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 3: three classes every day and then I would work in

808
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,560
Speaker 3: the cafeteria and it was like basically dinner crew. I

809
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:44,399
Speaker 3: would prep dinner.

810
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:48,280
Speaker 2: Did you ever did they ever have you do any music?

811
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:51,480
Speaker 3: So this is where it goes. They did, They did,

812
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:54,760
Speaker 3: and it was a second semester. To me, it seemed

813
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,279
Speaker 3: like they were testing me because I wanted to be

814
00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:01,840
Speaker 3: like so during these sessions they have like these amazing bands.

815
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:03,920
Speaker 3: You're like, man, who the heck It's like Hillsong. I

816
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:05,880
Speaker 3: don't know if you heard like Hillsong United, like all

817
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:10,319
Speaker 3: these worship team lights, like they have these people that

818
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:12,719
Speaker 3: they look like rockstars, and I was like, well, that's

819
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:14,360
Speaker 3: what I came to be. That's where I want to

820
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:16,040
Speaker 3: be in school because I want to be in the

821
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,040
Speaker 3: tech side. Like I was like, at least let me

822
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 3: do lights or something like. And so they're like, yeah,

823
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 3: the music program doesn't start till later after Easel, That's

824
00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:27,800
Speaker 3: what they kept saying, you know, and you'll start taking

825
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 3: music classes. And I was like, when it's when it's

826
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 3: Easel gonna happen and they're like, oh, it's like five

827
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:36,920
Speaker 3: or six weeks. So I eventually did end up joining

828
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 3: a band because you had a like audition too. It

829
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:41,759
Speaker 3: wasn't like, oh I'm musically They're like, okay, give us

830
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 3: your background audition. And I walked in into a music

831
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 3: room and that was like six months later. In an

832
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:48,839
Speaker 3: I auditioned, They're like can you play the song yes?

833
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:51,279
Speaker 3: Can you sing yes? But I was like I don't

834
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:54,839
Speaker 3: really want to sing. I'm here for playing music. So

835
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:59,040
Speaker 3: eventually I ended up joining Like they had like many,

836
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:01,640
Speaker 3: like four or five different worship teams and then you

837
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:04,560
Speaker 3: would be on rotation and throughout the whole year, like

838
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:08,399
Speaker 3: chapel meetings or like different you know events, Like I said,

839
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,959
Speaker 3: we would host camps at the end of the year,

840
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:13,160
Speaker 3: like in the summer, because I joined there in August,

841
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 3: so July and basically beginning of August, there was like

842
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 3: camps for all these different churches, like team groups, and

843
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 3: you would lead worship sessions with them and yeah, or

844
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 3: you would go work at different churches and like you

845
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 3: would go play. They'd be like, oh, we have this

846
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:31,920
Speaker 3: worship team, go lead worship Sunday morning for this church,

847
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 3: you know, but we wouldn't see a penny of it.

848
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 3: I don't know if we got like obviously, if Team

849
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,319
Speaker 3: Mania was getting paid for us to all.

850
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 1: I'm sure.

851
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:41,640
Speaker 3: I'm sure.

852
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:44,719
Speaker 1: I love that they named it team Mania because they're like,

853
00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:48,280
Speaker 1: we're the most manic assholes alive. You guys are gonna

854
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:49,640
Speaker 1: go insane.

855
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:53,120
Speaker 2: We're going to make you crazy so good.

856
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 3: And that's the thing. I don't know. If you saw,

857
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:57,799
Speaker 3: like the news was probably like the biggest, it was

858
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,799
Speaker 3: like the most. I'm gonna say, how did I look back?

859
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:04,319
Speaker 3: I was just talking to my wife Melissa, and I

860
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 3: was like, man, it was like emotionally scarring, like physically

861
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 3: like trauma. That definitely now that I'm this is the

862
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:11,800
Speaker 3: first time I'm like actually bringing it up and talking

863
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:12,360
Speaker 3: to you guys.

864
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 4: Obviously you guys are the expert.

865
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:18,799
Speaker 3: It's like going through like okay, but yeah, so they

866
00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 3: prep you to do this physical it's like, yeah, like

867
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 3: an emotional I don't know experience, but it's a traumatic experience.

868
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:30,839
Speaker 3: And basically I forget to mention every you would put

869
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:35,000
Speaker 3: into companies like military, very military, like Michigan Alabama Company,

870
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:37,960
Speaker 3: and you would have a number and you were trained

871
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 3: every morning with it and you would do your exercise

872
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:43,360
Speaker 3: like I said, and you were trained with your company,

873
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 3: which was like your core group. And then we had

874
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 3: like so there was dorms, but it was like split

875
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:50,960
Speaker 3: like you know, it was like women on one dorm

876
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:54,319
Speaker 3: and men. So it wasn't like co like it was.

877
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 3: It was very divided. We had a classes for like character,

878
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:00,840
Speaker 3: but we also had classes for it was called for men,

879
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:05,680
Speaker 3: and it was very gender role classes like what it

880
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:08,520
Speaker 3: means to be like a man in like marriage, how

881
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:10,680
Speaker 3: to lead your wife or kind of stuff like that,

882
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:11,280
Speaker 3: like how.

883
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:11,959
Speaker 1: Are you God?

884
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,959
Speaker 3: So very like yeah, like obviously now I look back

885
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,880
Speaker 3: on it and You're like they're enforcing like gender, you know,

886
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 3: and obviously, like scripture there would be back and be

887
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 3: like the men is the heald head of the household.

888
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 3: I don't know if you heard like that term. You know,

889
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:29,759
Speaker 3: of course you got to lead by example, you got

890
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 3: to lead your family, your wife, blah blah blah. So

891
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 3: all of this was being intruder, and it wasn't the

892
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 3: first time I heard it. Like obviously I grew up

893
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 3: with like you know, going to church and I would

894
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:41,520
Speaker 3: hear that from the pulpit or go any weddings just

895
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:43,440
Speaker 3: even being teen, and remember like they'd be like you

896
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:49,839
Speaker 3: would submit to your husband, and so it was like, yeah,

897
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:51,840
Speaker 3: I didn't really get the concept. I think now that

898
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:55,319
Speaker 3: I go back and I'm like, wow, yeah, this is well. Yeah,

899
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:59,959
Speaker 3: they were classes like basically developing your character be of God,

900
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:03,880
Speaker 3: godly man, that's what they were called. And women, like

901
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:05,719
Speaker 3: women had their own classes, had to be like a

902
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 3: good serving wife. Probably I don't really know they did.

903
00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:13,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, on the surface, it seems like, oh, great, you

904
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:16,359
Speaker 2: get to get in shape and for for a few

905
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:18,239
Speaker 2: weeks and then you get to do the thing you

906
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 2: came to do and like learn work, ethic, but like

907
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 2: obviously there's so much more going on, and I want

908
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,440
Speaker 2: to talk about some of the some of this stuff

909
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,759
Speaker 2: specifically some of the stuff that we saw in like

910
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 2: the training. I guess this was from the training period,

911
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:35,240
Speaker 2: Like did you have to eat the cat food?

912
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:36,720
Speaker 1: Did you have to do any of that stuff?

913
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:41,560
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, so yeah that was okay. So yeah, let's

914
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:43,840
Speaker 3: get into it because this is a that's probably the craziest.

915
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 3: That's where it comes, like what is going on? I remember?

916
00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 3: So they trained, we trained, and then like we started

917
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 3: doing like these obstacle courses, and then food, like food

918
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 3: was very limited, like it was a price. If you

919
00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 3: complete this obstacle course a few this thing, we're gonna

920
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:04,400
Speaker 3: give you food, right, So after doing whatever they wanted

921
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:06,240
Speaker 3: you to do. So for instance, you see a video

922
00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 3: of them people carrying crosses, the actual wooden crosses. So

923
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:11,560
Speaker 3: we would have to walk with a cross for like

924
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,880
Speaker 3: three miles and carry it like a cross. It was

925
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:19,239
Speaker 3: it was probably like I'm gonna say, like seven eight

926
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:22,719
Speaker 3: feet and it was like you know, two by four

927
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:27,320
Speaker 3: is like you're like carrying a thing and I'm thirty pounds,

928
00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:30,719
Speaker 3: so it's probably like half and I'm like carrying it,

929
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:33,360
Speaker 3: but obviously you feel pressure. You're like, dude, I'm leading

930
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:35,799
Speaker 3: my company, Like we have women in our company. Like

931
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:38,640
Speaker 3: so these sister cores that you're training with in like

932
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:42,280
Speaker 3: the morning, you've been training for five weeks and they're like, yes,

933
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:45,080
Speaker 3: you're You're gonna go through all these obstacles as well.

934
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:49,279
Speaker 3: But all these staff members as well. I remember they

935
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 3: would be used like you said, when you confess everything

936
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:55,120
Speaker 3: or like the things that you struggle with, you know,

937
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:59,839
Speaker 3: if you did complete that questionnaire, which I didn't really like.

938
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,880
Speaker 3: I was just very vaguely like filling the were like

939
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:08,720
Speaker 3: porn to break you down psychologically, like literally I remember

940
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:12,520
Speaker 3: one time one of like a good friend, and I'm

941
00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:15,719
Speaker 3: gonna be honest say he was struggling. Obviously he grew

942
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:18,880
Speaker 3: up in a very conservative, you know, household, but I

943
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 3: remember when I met him he was very like he

944
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:24,160
Speaker 3: pretty much She's like, hey man, I'm like gay, but

945
00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 3: he didn't really say and I was like, oh, that's awesome.

946
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:29,239
Speaker 3: I was like I was in That's the thing I've

947
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:31,839
Speaker 3: always questioned. And growing up, I'm gonna say, growing up

948
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:34,920
Speaker 3: in California, I have family members friends that I grew

949
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:36,480
Speaker 3: up with that, and I was accepting that. I always

950
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:39,160
Speaker 3: challenged that against like the favor of my family. I

951
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:42,359
Speaker 3: would always get into debates about judging people for who

952
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:46,719
Speaker 3: they are. I remember my dad, so one of the

953
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 3: things they made him do is and I just do

954
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:52,799
Speaker 3: because I remember having conversations with him because I was like,

955
00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 3: I'm from California. He's like, I'm from Maryland and I

956
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 3: have a lot of friends. And I remember he kind

957
00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:59,840
Speaker 3: of said, he's like, you know, I was dating this,

958
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:02,399
Speaker 3: but he didn't say the name, and I just kind

959
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:05,040
Speaker 3: of like put it together. Well, they made him wear

960
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:09,440
Speaker 3: a dress for three days, carrying across God, So in

961
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 3: my mind that image kind of was like what is

962
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:15,839
Speaker 3: going on, Like they're trying to accumulate, like you know, yeah,

963
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:19,600
Speaker 3: and you would lead in front of like our company

964
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:22,200
Speaker 3: and he would carry it across with a dress on.

965
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 3: And obviously during that whole thing, at the end, he's like,

966
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:30,640
Speaker 3: you know, I was delivered blah blah blah from things

967
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:32,759
Speaker 3: that I you know, he even said it like you know,

968
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:35,760
Speaker 3: I was strugglingly with like my sexuality blah blah blah.

969
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:38,040
Speaker 3: But in my mind, like that's one of the things

970
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:40,400
Speaker 3: that I remember. It was like in that moment, I

971
00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:43,279
Speaker 3: was like, that's not right. Like I didn't know how

972
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 3: to put it or who to talk to because I

973
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,560
Speaker 3: was still you're five weeks in and you're like, I'm

974
00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:49,880
Speaker 3: gonna be here for a year. Who are my friends?

975
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:52,760
Speaker 3: Like I don't want to say something that somebody's gonna

976
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:55,200
Speaker 3: report it. And they're super strict about like the rules,

977
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:58,759
Speaker 3: like so you can't drink, like like I said, no relationships,

978
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:01,719
Speaker 3: no secular music, Like it was very strict. If not,

979
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 3: you get expelled from the internship. And in my mind,

980
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 3: I was like I can't get expelled. My parents paid

981
00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 3: money for this, Like I can't throw them money away.

982
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,680
Speaker 3: So yeah, during those like I said, it was just

983
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 3: like things like that, they would make you go get

984
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:19,400
Speaker 3: win and sandy if you couldn't recite like Bible versus

985
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:22,560
Speaker 3: or things that you had to like no like scripture.

986
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:25,719
Speaker 3: I remember like during those five weeks in class, and

987
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:27,799
Speaker 3: then like if you didn't know it, you would go

988
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 3: to like these volleyball courts and they would drench them

989
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:32,480
Speaker 3: like with water and you would have to roll and

990
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 3: then like do like push ups and get back in

991
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:37,160
Speaker 3: the company. And that was like kind of like your punishment,

992
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:39,880
Speaker 3: and then you see like people going under like you know,

993
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 3: like what not like bar I don't think it's like

994
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:44,800
Speaker 3: barbed wire, but it was just like obstacle courses stuff.

995
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:49,279
Speaker 3: They had us carry our sister cours on canoes. And

996
00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:51,880
Speaker 3: then there was like this man made lake. They make

997
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 3: you kind of like walk through the lake, hold me,

998
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:56,879
Speaker 3: you know, your sister corps on top. And then they're

999
00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:59,920
Speaker 3: like basically telling you like this is like you're gonna

1000
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:02,520
Speaker 3: like be strong men, Like you know there's gonna be

1001
00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:06,880
Speaker 3: you know, circumstances in life that you have to you know,

1002
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:09,640
Speaker 3: man up and like blah blah blah, you know, lead

1003
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:13,279
Speaker 3: by example, and like obviously this is like emotional and

1004
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:16,720
Speaker 3: physical trauma like going on. But when I was going

1005
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:19,960
Speaker 3: through it, I'm gonna go back. You gotta understand as well,

1006
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,560
Speaker 3: Like I grew up in a pretty rough community, Like

1007
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:24,960
Speaker 3: I grew up in like gangs, I'm gonna say, And

1008
00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:27,160
Speaker 3: I grew up in a very like Hispanic community, and

1009
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:30,520
Speaker 3: like the church where I saw families being broken up

1010
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:33,440
Speaker 3: by our government system, like you know, like ice rating

1011
00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:36,879
Speaker 3: our church stuff like that like kind of happened, and

1012
00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:39,560
Speaker 3: like our church is like fundraising are like oh, offering,

1013
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 3: we're gonna bring you know, ful anito X person I

1014
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 3: want to say his name, or you know, back from Mexico.

1015
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 3: We're gonna buy him his like coyote trip or coyote.

1016
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:49,759
Speaker 3: I don't know if you heard that. Turn like the

1017
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:52,960
Speaker 3: person that's gonna smuggle him in. It's three thousand dollars.

1018
00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 3: So the church would come together and like pay the

1019
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:58,600
Speaker 3: freaking amount, you know, pay for him to be back

1020
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:00,960
Speaker 3: with the spam. So me growing up with these things

1021
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 3: as well, I feel like I knew it was wrong,

1022
00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:04,960
Speaker 3: like I said, but I was like, man, it was

1023
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 3: that kind of game, Like I started getting into like

1024
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:08,680
Speaker 3: a game and Tally, I was like, I just need

1025
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:12,160
Speaker 3: to survive this. So I'm going through this easel experience

1026
00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:15,239
Speaker 3: and just like you know, so trying to survive. And

1027
00:49:15,239 --> 00:49:17,759
Speaker 3: I'm going to say nothing of this was forced on us.

1028
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:20,560
Speaker 3: It wasn't. I remember there like there was this bell

1029
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:22,680
Speaker 3: that you if you don't want to be part of it,

1030
00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:25,080
Speaker 3: you could just ring out, ring out the bell, but

1031
00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:27,520
Speaker 3: there was it was like a shameful act, like you

1032
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:30,000
Speaker 3: the bell was like placed in the middle of the

1033
00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:32,440
Speaker 3: whole camp, and like, you know, you have all these

1034
00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:34,719
Speaker 3: companies and you would have to walk up there and

1035
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:37,080
Speaker 3: like ring the bell, and that means like you rung out,

1036
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:38,080
Speaker 3: like you quit. Well.

1037
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:40,480
Speaker 1: Also I heard some girls say, you know, if you

1038
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:42,520
Speaker 1: ring the bell, I wanted to ring the bell, but

1039
00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:45,600
Speaker 1: that's giving up on Jesus. So yes, I did.

1040
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:48,800
Speaker 2: So like you you're a sinner if you ring the bell.

1041
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:52,560
Speaker 1: I don't appreciate Jesus if you ring the bell. But yeah,

1042
00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:53,160
Speaker 1: go ahead.

1043
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 3: So yeah, I imagine you're like harring your sister core,

1044
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:57,719
Speaker 3: like on this canoe two three, you know, young woman,

1045
00:49:58,200 --> 00:50:01,799
Speaker 3: and you're just like I'm gonna drop the canoe. Like

1046
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 3: you're just like I can't let my team down. So

1047
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:08,000
Speaker 3: you have like this physical pressure as well and emotionally,

1048
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:11,320
Speaker 3: and then they're drilling you and they're, yeah, the whole

1049
00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 3: core of this is like you know, you do it

1050
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:16,000
Speaker 3: for Jesus, don't. This is like what's gonna shape you.

1051
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:19,560
Speaker 3: This is like the transforming event that's gonna mean to

1052
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:23,400
Speaker 3: have a stronger I felt like a stronger relationship, a

1053
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:26,080
Speaker 3: better quiet I don't know if you heard the quiet time,

1054
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:29,560
Speaker 3: like the Lord is gonna talk to you. So that

1055
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:32,880
Speaker 3: was like East was probably like the most physical, like

1056
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:35,879
Speaker 3: I said it was very traumatic and like they would

1057
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:42,080
Speaker 3: humiliate people, you know, definitely and the military. Yeah, like

1058
00:50:42,239 --> 00:50:44,160
Speaker 3: boot camp, like they were tough down, they're trying to

1059
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:46,640
Speaker 3: scream and like I'm like to me, like I said,

1060
00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:49,760
Speaker 3: I was just kind of ignore them. And it sucks

1061
00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:52,960
Speaker 3: because I, like I didn't really trust anybody in my company.

1062
00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:54,720
Speaker 3: Like I said, It was like four or five weeks

1063
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:57,040
Speaker 3: and I was like, who are these people. At the

1064
00:50:57,160 --> 00:50:59,760
Speaker 3: end of the year, obviously by the time I started,

1065
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:01,960
Speaker 3: I was like, well, these people like we kind of knew.

1066
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:03,960
Speaker 3: I knew who my circle was. I was like, I

1067
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:05,600
Speaker 3: wish I could have done them with them, because this

1068
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:08,200
Speaker 3: was we would have just like laugh at them, you know,

1069
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:10,839
Speaker 3: we would have this what are you trying to do?

1070
00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 3: Like trying to break us down? But there was another

1071
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:18,640
Speaker 3: event called World Awareness and this is well this one

1072
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:21,400
Speaker 3: was pretty crazy too. I remember. So in the weekend,

1073
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:25,439
Speaker 3: we were basically told we're gonna split the class, which

1074
00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:29,800
Speaker 3: was like you know, six seven hundred students and every weekend,

1075
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:32,600
Speaker 3: so the weekends was like are off time. We didn't

1076
00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:34,920
Speaker 3: really do ministry placement, we didn't really work or have

1077
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:38,520
Speaker 3: classes or whatever. But this is where the life transport

1078
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:43,600
Speaker 3: transforming events went on, and Easoul was on the weekend,

1079
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:46,640
Speaker 3: like I said, and then this other one called World Awareness.

1080
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:50,840
Speaker 3: So your missionaries and then the staff people, which was

1081
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:55,440
Speaker 3: like two three hundred people are basically the government and

1082
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:58,600
Speaker 3: they're persecuting the missionaries. So they're like, we're gonna let

1083
00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:01,480
Speaker 3: you loose. They would lock the dorms and you're not

1084
00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:04,200
Speaker 3: allowed back on your dorms and you're gonna be loose

1085
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:08,320
Speaker 3: and you're gonna be persecuted in the woods for basically

1086
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:11,840
Speaker 3: forty eight hours. Whoa, and these people had like paintball

1087
00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:14,399
Speaker 3: guns and staff members and well, you gotta you know,

1088
00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:16,839
Speaker 3: when you're like eighteen, you're like is this a game

1089
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:20,239
Speaker 3: or like what you know, You're like nobody's doing. And

1090
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:23,479
Speaker 3: for me, it's like the purge exactly by that time,

1091
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:25,960
Speaker 3: I think it was like six months into the program,

1092
00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:29,239
Speaker 3: and like I built like a pretty strong, like oh relationship.

1093
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:31,439
Speaker 3: So to me, like we had like a team where

1094
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:33,920
Speaker 3: like whoa, we're just gonna you know, we're just gonna

1095
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:36,480
Speaker 3: go do our cost some trouble in the woods. And

1096
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:40,240
Speaker 3: then they would hide rice and beans cans like food

1097
00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 3: for us the own government, and we would have to

1098
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:46,080
Speaker 3: find it and like survive. Like literally I remember being

1099
00:52:46,239 --> 00:52:49,120
Speaker 3: like in the woods, like under some rocks for like

1100
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:51,360
Speaker 3: two hours, like in the middle of the night because

1101
00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:52,080
Speaker 3: they were chasing.

1102
00:52:53,200 --> 00:52:56,320
Speaker 2: So it's not like it's like hunger games. Say like

1103
00:52:56,400 --> 00:53:00,319
Speaker 2: hunger games, yeah, whoa so like so they don't you

1104
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:03,360
Speaker 2: So you literally have to just find your food, yes,

1105
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:05,160
Speaker 2: and escape.

1106
00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:07,680
Speaker 3: From the government, which is the staff members and then

1107
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:10,839
Speaker 3: the whole thing. Like there was a debriefing process like

1108
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:13,600
Speaker 3: after the World Awareness after East and they would talk

1109
00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:16,480
Speaker 3: about what you just went through and how to like

1110
00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:20,120
Speaker 3: emotionally like basically go through, how to like decompress and

1111
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 3: like how to do it. So basically they're they're like,

1112
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:26,560
Speaker 3: this is what actual missionaries go through in like third

1113
00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:29,719
Speaker 3: world countries. You know, they're being killed, they're bringing their

1114
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:34,600
Speaker 3: martyrs for the gospel. And then in my mind, I'm like, no,

1115
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:36,239
Speaker 3: this is insane.

1116
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:38,840
Speaker 2: Like basically I'm pretty sure they have shelter.

1117
00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:41,319
Speaker 3: In my mind, I'm like, you know, I was like,

1118
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:43,360
Speaker 3: there's no other time I'm going to be able to

1119
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:47,319
Speaker 3: experience this. Also, going back culturally, I was like this

1120
00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:51,319
Speaker 3: is probably nothing with like you know, members of my

1121
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:54,440
Speaker 3: community or friends or uncles went through when you know,

1122
00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:57,239
Speaker 3: being persecuted. I don't be honest, like if when they

1123
00:53:57,280 --> 00:53:58,399
Speaker 3: crossed the border or.

1124
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:01,080
Speaker 1: They came to the right, I'm.

1125
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:04,000
Speaker 3: Like, I gotta I remember just telling myself, I'm like

1126
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:05,920
Speaker 3: I could do this. This is not real, Like I

1127
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:07,920
Speaker 3: could always just like walk away and be like I

1128
00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:09,799
Speaker 3: don't want to be part of this. What are they

1129
00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:13,080
Speaker 3: gonna do? We had like four or five really good friends,

1130
00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:15,279
Speaker 3: like you guys and the girls. We just kind of

1131
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:16,880
Speaker 3: went through it and we're like, man, we're like some

1132
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:19,320
Speaker 3: teenagers and they're chasing us in the woods. We're like

1133
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:22,319
Speaker 3: paintball guns and like we just have to survive. There's

1134
00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:24,880
Speaker 3: be four Hunger Games. But like the whole concept was

1135
00:54:24,960 --> 00:54:27,920
Speaker 3: just like crazy wild. We're like, man, this is.

1136
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:30,800
Speaker 2: You had to just sleep wherever, sep wherever.

1137
00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:33,680
Speaker 3: Yes, and they were chasing like there was cars and

1138
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:36,160
Speaker 3: like I'm telling you this, this place was like wooded

1139
00:54:36,280 --> 00:54:38,759
Speaker 3: and then there's like obstacle courses. So we kind of

1140
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:41,239
Speaker 3: had a map drawn because we've been living there for

1141
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:43,480
Speaker 3: like four to five months already when they did this

1142
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:47,719
Speaker 3: specific event, so we would just hide. We were like,

1143
00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:51,000
Speaker 3: let's go to the obstacle courses, like there's probably nobody there,

1144
00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:52,479
Speaker 3: and we would chill, and as soon as we would

1145
00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:55,600
Speaker 3: see guards or like people on trucks, we're like, oh,

1146
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:56,399
Speaker 3: the government's here.

1147
00:54:56,480 --> 00:54:59,880
Speaker 2: And when they got on the got you.

1148
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,759
Speaker 3: I would take you to these prison camps like and

1149
00:55:02,880 --> 00:55:05,879
Speaker 3: literally it was like you know, the shower rooms or

1150
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:08,840
Speaker 3: like the gym, and they would have you there doing

1151
00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:13,120
Speaker 3: like physical push ups, jumping jacks kind of like kind

1152
00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:16,320
Speaker 3: of like resembling like, oh, this is what like actual

1153
00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:18,719
Speaker 3: but they're not hurting you, but they're making you do

1154
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:22,040
Speaker 3: physical stuff, you know, like herd or what is it,

1155
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:25,960
Speaker 3: burpie stuff like that, like standing on one leg and

1156
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:28,319
Speaker 3: to you you know, you got like eighteen nineteen year olds.

1157
00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:30,239
Speaker 3: People are like kind of laugh like what is this?

1158
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:31,880
Speaker 3: Like what are you trying to do to me?

1159
00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:32,800
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1160
00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:34,799
Speaker 3: But yeah, like I said, this whole thing was just

1161
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:36,960
Speaker 3: like what like in in the back of my mind,

1162
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:39,560
Speaker 3: I'm like, man, what am I going through? Where did

1163
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:42,799
Speaker 3: my parents say? And I would call them yeah, and

1164
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:45,879
Speaker 3: I would I remember telling my parents when I came

1165
00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:49,000
Speaker 3: for a winter break what really was going on. I

1166
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:52,200
Speaker 3: started noticing that. I was like, well, now I'm making

1167
00:55:52,239 --> 00:55:55,279
Speaker 3: them feel I felt bad because now they just you know,

1168
00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:59,399
Speaker 3: spent whatever savings they had and they put it into this,

1169
00:55:59,520 --> 00:56:01,120
Speaker 3: and now I don't want to make him feel bad

1170
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:03,560
Speaker 3: and be like you're just wasting your money. So at

1171
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 3: some point I just was like going through the motions.

1172
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:08,839
Speaker 1: You know, it's just like you.

1173
00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:12,680
Speaker 3: Know, it's changing me. I'm you know, meeting people. And

1174
00:56:12,719 --> 00:56:14,640
Speaker 3: then like I said, and the second part of the

1175
00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:18,279
Speaker 3: semester or the second semester after winter break, you know,

1176
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:22,400
Speaker 3: the holidays, I started playing music. And then once I

1177
00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:25,319
Speaker 3: started playing music and like, but I felt like it

1178
00:56:25,400 --> 00:56:27,840
Speaker 3: was like an auditioning the whole time. They put me

1179
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:31,320
Speaker 3: in like kitchen crew serving you know, all these basically

1180
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:34,560
Speaker 3: interns or students, seven hundred people. We would prep dinner

1181
00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:38,160
Speaker 3: for them, we would serve them. I would clean dishes. Well,

1182
00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:41,000
Speaker 3: actually I got put in cleaning duty because you know

1183
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:43,440
Speaker 3: when you go to like a cafeteria diner, you have

1184
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:45,400
Speaker 3: the diner and people are like serving you food and

1185
00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:48,560
Speaker 3: you go through the line. And I remember, I tell

1186
00:56:48,560 --> 00:56:51,239
Speaker 3: this story all the time because I was just like

1187
00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:54,000
Speaker 3: a rebel, like I just didn't want to comply against

1188
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:56,640
Speaker 3: like any like I was just like always against everything.

1189
00:56:57,040 --> 00:56:58,880
Speaker 3: But I remember that time, like it was like the

1190
00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:01,200
Speaker 3: first three weeks I got putting Christian crew, and I

1191
00:57:01,239 --> 00:57:04,120
Speaker 3: was like really upset. I was bothered in these girls

1192
00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:08,200
Speaker 3: were like complaining about Shepherd's spot. We made shepherd spire.

1193
00:57:08,239 --> 00:57:10,439
Speaker 3: It looked disgusting. It was I was like, you either

1194
00:57:10,440 --> 00:57:12,600
Speaker 3: have Shepherd's PI or PBMJ. What do you want me

1195
00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:14,279
Speaker 3: to make? You? Like? What do you want me? And

1196
00:57:14,320 --> 00:57:17,240
Speaker 3: these girls were like, oh, this is disgusting and they

1197
00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:19,480
Speaker 3: pushed the plate. I put it on top of the guy.

1198
00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:22,600
Speaker 3: They pushed the plate and it almost like fell on me.

1199
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:25,200
Speaker 3: So I was like really, I was just like mad

1200
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:28,320
Speaker 3: and I just acted like I remember having the plate

1201
00:57:28,840 --> 00:57:32,520
Speaker 3: and like slamming it, and I remember my supervisor was

1202
00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:35,760
Speaker 3: like Louis and like she like she complained obviously She's

1203
00:57:35,800 --> 00:57:38,240
Speaker 3: like Louis, just like you know, did this. And I

1204
00:57:38,320 --> 00:57:42,000
Speaker 3: was put like basically they punished me, and I was poor,

1205
00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:45,680
Speaker 3: like in the dish room cleaning dishes for six months,

1206
00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:48,040
Speaker 3: so I wasn't able to be on the front line

1207
00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:51,080
Speaker 3: in the cafeteria or cleaning in the cafeteria. I was

1208
00:57:51,120 --> 00:57:52,840
Speaker 3: in dish room for six months.

1209
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:55,280
Speaker 1: Six months, Yeah, Jessody.

1210
00:57:57,120 --> 00:57:58,960
Speaker 3: It was just because I was like, man, well she

1211
00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:01,680
Speaker 3: doesn't want she doesn't have to give me attitude and

1212
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:04,480
Speaker 3: push like basically push the plate against it. I didn't

1213
00:58:04,480 --> 00:58:07,280
Speaker 3: make this, I'm just serving you like, and she was

1214
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:09,800
Speaker 3: just giving meude, and I was just like yeah, I

1215
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:12,600
Speaker 3: just kind of responded in the moment. But it was

1216
00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:15,720
Speaker 3: very like different situations like that like that, I would

1217
00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:18,080
Speaker 3: kind of like just flip and I looked back on

1218
00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:20,520
Speaker 3: it and I was like thinking, I was like, maybe

1219
00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:23,040
Speaker 3: it was just like an emotional reaction of like all

1220
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:25,600
Speaker 3: the trauma or everything that was going on. I remember

1221
00:58:25,680 --> 00:58:29,960
Speaker 3: just flipping out a couple of times on people, just

1222
00:58:30,120 --> 00:58:32,520
Speaker 3: like they would, you know, they said something and maybe

1223
00:58:32,920 --> 00:58:34,760
Speaker 3: they didn't even mean it or something, and I would

1224
00:58:34,760 --> 00:58:37,840
Speaker 3: just like flip out or like just crustal, be like

1225
00:58:38,440 --> 00:58:40,760
Speaker 3: you know, and they'd be like, whoa where did that

1226
00:58:40,800 --> 00:58:43,960
Speaker 3: come from, dude? And I was like, I'm just like

1227
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:44,400
Speaker 3: I don't know.

1228
00:58:45,920 --> 00:58:51,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I seemed to be a little angry. I

1229
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:53,400
Speaker 1: want to go back to the food thing really fast.

1230
00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:57,240
Speaker 2: Some of the videos that we saw involved there was

1231
00:58:57,320 --> 00:59:00,640
Speaker 2: like everyone would be would have to sit and eat

1232
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:04,280
Speaker 2: cat food and they would say to the kids, like,

1233
00:59:05,240 --> 00:59:07,320
Speaker 2: first of all, they'd be yelling here, kitty kitty while

1234
00:59:07,320 --> 00:59:09,440
Speaker 2: they're eating it, and they would say to the kids,

1235
00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:11,840
Speaker 2: if you throw up. You have to then eat that,

1236
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:15,960
Speaker 2: so you'd better not throw up. I meanwhile, everyone's gagging,

1237
00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:19,280
Speaker 2: like the kids are gagging, and it was like cat.

1238
00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:24,080
Speaker 1: Food mixed with oysters, mixed with sardines, mixed with god.

1239
00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:27,360
Speaker 1: It was yes, well I didn't realize it was that,

1240
00:59:27,520 --> 00:59:28,720
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

1241
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:32,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, so yeah, they tricked us. I remember, well, mine,

1242
00:59:32,280 --> 00:59:35,520
Speaker 3: we didn't have that because they're there, you gotta. I

1243
00:59:35,560 --> 00:59:38,680
Speaker 3: remember looking at some footages. They grab footages from different classes,

1244
00:59:38,760 --> 00:59:42,360
Speaker 3: different years, and each year, I think each year it

1245
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:46,320
Speaker 3: started being less and less physical, less and less like

1246
00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:50,840
Speaker 3: edgy because they were probably getting like you know, maybe threats,

1247
00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:54,840
Speaker 3: threats exactly shutting down. I'm gonna say my year was

1248
00:59:54,880 --> 00:59:59,360
Speaker 3: two thousand and nine to two ten. The internship after

1249
00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:02,640
Speaker 3: the school, the unor Academy only survived like another I'm

1250
01:00:02,640 --> 01:00:04,480
Speaker 3: gonna say two to three years before it was like

1251
01:00:04,520 --> 01:00:07,480
Speaker 3: fully shut down, and it was financially based. I think

1252
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:11,640
Speaker 3: something happened financially, like they were making payments for property

1253
01:00:11,760 --> 01:00:15,040
Speaker 3: or like everything just started coming down. I remember like

1254
01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:17,959
Speaker 3: looking into it a little bit, but once I left

1255
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,480
Speaker 3: that place, I had I want nothing to do, Like

1256
01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:23,760
Speaker 3: it was like a shutdown, Like that year didn't really happen.

1257
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:28,080
Speaker 3: Unless Yeah. I remember meeting people that mentioned different words

1258
01:00:28,120 --> 01:00:30,160
Speaker 3: and I was like, how do you know about this place,

1259
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:32,800
Speaker 3: and then ended up being like, oh, my cousin went

1260
01:00:32,840 --> 01:00:34,920
Speaker 3: to that internship, or my cousin went there and she

1261
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,080
Speaker 3: told me about and then I would open up and

1262
01:00:37,120 --> 01:00:40,200
Speaker 3: be like oh, yeah, this and this, like yeah, it

1263
01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:42,440
Speaker 3: was crazy, and I would just share my story and

1264
01:00:42,680 --> 01:00:44,720
Speaker 3: or it would be people, Yeah, it'd be like, man,

1265
01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:47,320
Speaker 3: you went to that. Yes, I went in it, but yeah,

1266
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:50,000
Speaker 3: most of the time, it was like a closed chapter

1267
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:52,040
Speaker 3: book with my family. I was like, yeah, I went

1268
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:54,520
Speaker 3: to go do music. I brought the diploma. It says

1269
01:00:54,600 --> 01:00:59,160
Speaker 3: Honor Academy certificate, you know, and I was like, here

1270
01:00:59,200 --> 01:01:01,840
Speaker 3: it is, mom, this is it. You paid you know,

1271
01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:04,160
Speaker 3: eight I think it was around ten thousand dollars.

1272
01:01:04,280 --> 01:01:07,800
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, oh.

1273
01:01:07,040 --> 01:01:11,600
Speaker 3: Because they gotta put like classes, lodging, food, all that,

1274
01:01:11,680 --> 01:01:14,720
Speaker 3: you know, you're living there for a year. But yeah,

1275
01:01:14,960 --> 01:01:17,760
Speaker 3: we basically In my mind, I'm like, so you basically

1276
01:01:17,840 --> 01:01:20,320
Speaker 3: paid them plus to ten thousand dollars for me to

1277
01:01:20,360 --> 01:01:23,920
Speaker 3: go work that year yep, and be to make that

1278
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:24,680
Speaker 3: place drunk.

1279
01:01:24,800 --> 01:01:28,840
Speaker 1: Yeah and yeah wow right wow.

1280
01:01:28,840 --> 01:01:32,520
Speaker 3: So yeah, it was a crazy experience. There was also

1281
01:01:32,680 --> 01:01:36,280
Speaker 3: the mission trips. I was sent to Mexico's uh Tijuana

1282
01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:38,400
Speaker 3: and it was in the month of June and they're

1283
01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:40,960
Speaker 3: like Luis, well, you have your bilingual Spanish and you

1284
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:43,240
Speaker 3: said your mom's with Tijuana. Do you know the area?

1285
01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:45,480
Speaker 3: And I was like yeah, and they're like, we think

1286
01:01:45,520 --> 01:01:48,640
Speaker 3: you could be a good leader in the operations team

1287
01:01:48,760 --> 01:01:51,640
Speaker 3: to run the whole camp. There's gonna be kids coming

1288
01:01:52,120 --> 01:01:53,920
Speaker 3: and they're gonna be on this mission trip for a

1289
01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:56,600
Speaker 3: month and they're gonna go build homes in Baja California

1290
01:01:56,600 --> 01:01:59,640
Speaker 3: at Tijuana, and we want you to run basically be

1291
01:01:59,680 --> 01:02:04,479
Speaker 3: one of the main translators for the operation. So you're

1292
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:07,640
Speaker 3: gonna go with like Joe Day. I remember that was

1293
01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:11,400
Speaker 3: like the guy who's basically in charge of the whole camp.

1294
01:02:11,920 --> 01:02:13,640
Speaker 3: And you're gonna go to like the market because you

1295
01:02:13,760 --> 01:02:16,360
Speaker 3: speak and really fluent you know slang, go to market,

1296
01:02:16,520 --> 01:02:19,920
Speaker 3: buy amounts of food for these missionaries, and like, you know,

1297
01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:24,480
Speaker 3: just all the logistical stuff. You're gonna do the interchanging,

1298
01:02:24,520 --> 01:02:27,200
Speaker 3: like with the money. So I went there and I

1299
01:02:27,280 --> 01:02:30,840
Speaker 3: remember we had these bands of the equipment. They had

1300
01:02:30,880 --> 01:02:33,240
Speaker 3: like buses because they had like these whole like I'm

1301
01:02:33,280 --> 01:02:35,480
Speaker 3: telling you like buses because they used to do like

1302
01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:39,240
Speaker 3: atf like events winter gems, so they had all these

1303
01:02:39,320 --> 01:02:42,440
Speaker 3: lightning stage everything. So we took a little bit of

1304
01:02:42,480 --> 01:02:45,439
Speaker 3: that and like music equipment and like things to build

1305
01:02:45,440 --> 01:02:48,720
Speaker 3: a camp intent and like these four bands and you

1306
01:02:48,880 --> 01:02:52,640
Speaker 3: drove across basically into Mexico and I remember getting stopped

1307
01:02:52,640 --> 01:02:54,880
Speaker 3: in the in the border and they're like what are

1308
01:02:54,920 --> 01:02:57,120
Speaker 3: you guys, And we're like, oh, we're missionaries, you know

1309
01:02:57,320 --> 01:03:01,360
Speaker 3: where we belong to Team Mania ministries and yeah, like

1310
01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:04,320
Speaker 3: the Duana are basically like the officers were like we're

1311
01:03:04,320 --> 01:03:06,360
Speaker 3: not letting you in. What if you have drugs in

1312
01:03:06,360 --> 01:03:12,600
Speaker 3: these vans? So nobody really spoke Spanish, so they're like, Luis,

1313
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:16,000
Speaker 3: can you go negotiate with this official or like this

1314
01:03:16,160 --> 01:03:19,360
Speaker 3: officer and tell them this is like you know what

1315
01:03:19,400 --> 01:03:21,720
Speaker 3: we do. And they had to like open the boxes

1316
01:03:21,760 --> 01:03:25,360
Speaker 3: see all the equipment. Then I had a call basically

1317
01:03:25,480 --> 01:03:28,320
Speaker 3: back to our offices and tell them, hey, we need

1318
01:03:28,360 --> 01:03:31,040
Speaker 3: a document and I'm like, I don't know, I don't

1319
01:03:31,040 --> 01:03:33,600
Speaker 3: know about this. I don't know how to like you know, logistically,

1320
01:03:33,680 --> 01:03:36,560
Speaker 3: like what it takes to take like all this equipment,

1321
01:03:36,600 --> 01:03:38,360
Speaker 3: this organization that We're going to be there for a

1322
01:03:38,400 --> 01:03:40,760
Speaker 3: month in another country. This is like my first time

1323
01:03:40,920 --> 01:03:42,760
Speaker 3: just like dealing with it. So I had to call

1324
01:03:42,800 --> 01:03:45,880
Speaker 3: them be like can you itemize everything that we have

1325
01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:48,800
Speaker 3: because they're going to charge just taxes on it whatever

1326
01:03:48,880 --> 01:03:52,560
Speaker 3: we're bringing into on equipment and stuff like that. And

1327
01:03:52,640 --> 01:03:56,000
Speaker 3: I remember like thinking in my head, I'm like, what

1328
01:03:56,080 --> 01:03:58,040
Speaker 3: the heck am I doing? Like is this even real?

1329
01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:03,320
Speaker 3: Like I'm like translating all these documents and like calling

1330
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:06,880
Speaker 3: and like talking to these officials in Mexico. Obviously, at

1331
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:08,400
Speaker 3: that time I thought it was cool. I was like,

1332
01:04:08,440 --> 01:04:12,439
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I'm like freaking negotiating with like these

1333
01:04:12,760 --> 01:04:15,200
Speaker 3: soldiers to let us go in with all this different.

1334
01:04:15,240 --> 01:04:17,040
Speaker 3: It's gonna be a cool story to tell them. But

1335
01:04:17,200 --> 01:04:19,160
Speaker 3: like now that I'm like thinking about it, I was

1336
01:04:19,240 --> 01:04:24,360
Speaker 3: just like, what what's going on? Eventually, Yeah, So my

1337
01:04:25,040 --> 01:04:27,920
Speaker 3: uncle he's a cop there, so I had to call

1338
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:31,080
Speaker 3: him and he actually showed up to the border and

1339
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:33,320
Speaker 3: he told them no, like you know, their missionaries. I

1340
01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:35,880
Speaker 3: don't know what he said, but they eventually let us

1341
01:04:35,880 --> 01:04:37,919
Speaker 3: to but we were on hold there for like five

1342
01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:40,960
Speaker 3: six hours. They wouldn't let us in. They won't let

1343
01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:43,040
Speaker 3: us in with their equipment and like, you know, all

1344
01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:46,600
Speaker 3: this mission gear, all this stuff that we're gonna prep

1345
01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:49,800
Speaker 3: camp for, you know, all these missionaries coming into Baja.

1346
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:53,000
Speaker 1: So and after that, were you like I'm done with

1347
01:04:53,040 --> 01:04:53,400
Speaker 1: this shit?

1348
01:04:53,760 --> 01:04:57,760
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, like I said, like, I never I did that.

1349
01:04:57,880 --> 01:05:00,280
Speaker 3: I still have some friends that I keep in touch

1350
01:05:00,360 --> 01:05:03,560
Speaker 3: with and we talk about it, and like most of them,

1351
01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:07,240
Speaker 3: there's a couple of them there just kind of went

1352
01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:09,200
Speaker 3: their own way and they're not you know, they're not

1353
01:05:09,280 --> 01:05:12,880
Speaker 3: practicing any religion. They're just doing their thing. And then

1354
01:05:12,880 --> 01:05:15,480
Speaker 3: there's other people that are, like I see on Facebook.

1355
01:05:15,600 --> 01:05:17,280
Speaker 3: So they pop up and I'm like, who the heck

1356
01:05:17,360 --> 01:05:19,440
Speaker 3: is this guy I need and follow? He's like a

1357
01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:23,360
Speaker 3: pastor or he's like he has like this nonprofit super conservative.

1358
01:05:23,360 --> 01:05:28,760
Speaker 3: Oh my, oh the lead Like I don't know, active

1359
01:05:28,800 --> 01:05:32,240
Speaker 3: on social media, but yeah, like anytime there's like oh

1360
01:05:32,360 --> 01:05:35,320
Speaker 3: shared memory of like team many or something, or I

1361
01:05:35,360 --> 01:05:36,960
Speaker 3: don't like, get me the.

1362
01:05:36,880 --> 01:05:40,560
Speaker 2: Heck, I don't want that memory, don't remind me exactly.

1363
01:05:41,040 --> 01:05:41,680
Speaker 3: Wow.

1364
01:05:41,880 --> 01:05:43,960
Speaker 2: So it was like it kind of functioned. It sounds

1365
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:49,040
Speaker 2: like also is like a conversion camp too, if they're

1366
01:05:49,040 --> 01:05:53,240
Speaker 2: like making LGBTQ people, Yes, like trying to pray the

1367
01:05:53,280 --> 01:05:56,120
Speaker 2: gay away or whatever and like torture them, essentially abuse

1368
01:05:56,200 --> 01:05:59,400
Speaker 2: them until they say that they're not gay anymore.

1369
01:05:59,640 --> 01:06:01,360
Speaker 1: Is that that seems like that was a part of

1370
01:06:01,400 --> 01:06:02,120
Speaker 1: it for me?

1371
01:06:02,240 --> 01:06:06,520
Speaker 3: Well, I didn't, Like I said, I never saw saw

1372
01:06:06,560 --> 01:06:10,360
Speaker 3: it like them say it like abuse somebody in that,

1373
01:06:10,560 --> 01:06:13,160
Speaker 3: But just the fact that they made someone wear a

1374
01:06:13,280 --> 01:06:16,600
Speaker 3: dress when I knew like weeks before, like I kind

1375
01:06:16,640 --> 01:06:19,520
Speaker 3: of made a connection with him of like him opening

1376
01:06:19,600 --> 01:06:22,080
Speaker 3: up a little bit about his sexuality, and I think

1377
01:06:22,120 --> 01:06:23,720
Speaker 3: he just felt like literally because I told him off

1378
01:06:23,720 --> 01:06:25,840
Speaker 3: from LA and I started beating like, you know, all

1379
01:06:25,840 --> 01:06:28,040
Speaker 3: these bands and I was like super I was pretty

1380
01:06:28,080 --> 01:06:31,080
Speaker 3: honest with them. I was like, man, you know like this,

1381
01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:33,160
Speaker 3: and we were into fashion. I was really kind of

1382
01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:35,200
Speaker 3: like into fashion, and he had a lot of I

1383
01:06:35,200 --> 01:06:37,280
Speaker 3: don't know if I used to wear a lot of

1384
01:06:37,760 --> 01:06:40,760
Speaker 3: So one of my really good friends, you know, he

1385
01:06:40,800 --> 01:06:43,160
Speaker 3: belongs to the community, and we used to go to

1386
01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:45,800
Speaker 3: American Apparel and he used to give me all that stuff.

1387
01:06:45,880 --> 01:06:48,200
Speaker 3: And then we started looking into America in Peril and

1388
01:06:48,200 --> 01:06:49,960
Speaker 3: he told me like what they stand for, and I

1389
01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:51,640
Speaker 3: was like, oh that's cool. I could get behind it.

1390
01:06:51,920 --> 01:06:55,400
Speaker 3: So this guy we made that connection over closing fashion.

1391
01:06:55,480 --> 01:06:58,439
Speaker 3: He's like, man, this is like my favorite brand, and

1392
01:06:58,440 --> 01:07:00,760
Speaker 3: he's like, I love he was already like sporting like

1393
01:07:01,160 --> 01:07:04,280
Speaker 3: rainbow stuff, and he didn't really say rainbow, but like

1394
01:07:04,680 --> 01:07:06,440
Speaker 3: so I kind of like made the connection. And I

1395
01:07:06,480 --> 01:07:09,800
Speaker 3: told when I saw him in address and they made

1396
01:07:09,840 --> 01:07:12,280
Speaker 3: him like march with the cross to me, I just

1397
01:07:12,320 --> 01:07:14,400
Speaker 3: put it worked together. I was like, this is wrong.

1398
01:07:14,520 --> 01:07:15,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is yeah.

1399
01:07:15,840 --> 01:07:19,200
Speaker 2: I mean I think that qualifies as abuse that psychological

1400
01:07:19,240 --> 01:07:23,000
Speaker 2: abuse in in my book, Like that's humiliation and public

1401
01:07:23,040 --> 01:07:26,200
Speaker 2: shaming and like trying to force someone's identity out of

1402
01:07:26,240 --> 01:07:30,000
Speaker 2: them in a physically through physical exertion too. Like it's

1403
01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:35,160
Speaker 2: just all of those things, yeah, qualify in my opinion

1404
01:07:35,960 --> 01:07:37,000
Speaker 2: as forms of abuse.

1405
01:07:37,080 --> 01:07:37,840
Speaker 1: Absolutely.

1406
01:07:38,040 --> 01:07:40,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean and then I guess my last

1407
01:07:40,400 --> 01:07:43,520
Speaker 2: question is just like did you I think that for

1408
01:07:43,640 --> 01:07:46,440
Speaker 2: someone who maybe doesn't understand how some of these dynamics work,

1409
01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:48,200
Speaker 2: they could be like, oh, well, they had the ability

1410
01:07:48,200 --> 01:07:50,439
Speaker 2: to leave, they knew it was a game on those

1411
01:07:50,560 --> 01:07:52,360
Speaker 2: you know, the weekends where they had they were being

1412
01:07:52,440 --> 01:07:55,760
Speaker 2: chased by the government or whatever, Like did it feel

1413
01:07:55,800 --> 01:07:56,480
Speaker 2: like a game?

1414
01:07:56,560 --> 01:07:59,600
Speaker 3: Though? Like it did for me? And like the more

1415
01:07:59,640 --> 01:08:01,560
Speaker 3: I went, like there was a lot of people, like

1416
01:08:01,600 --> 01:08:03,960
Speaker 3: I said, like all my like the circle of friends

1417
01:08:04,040 --> 01:08:07,040
Speaker 3: that I build belonged to their parents kind of paid

1418
01:08:07,040 --> 01:08:09,240
Speaker 3: out of pocket or like they just paid up front

1419
01:08:09,280 --> 01:08:12,360
Speaker 3: and they're like we just can't afford, you know, to

1420
01:08:12,440 --> 01:08:15,360
Speaker 3: go back and be like, well I got expelled from this,

1421
01:08:15,600 --> 01:08:18,080
Speaker 3: you know, you lost your money. For me, it was

1422
01:08:18,120 --> 01:08:20,479
Speaker 3: like a financial thing, like I said, And it was

1423
01:08:20,520 --> 01:08:23,479
Speaker 3: just like repairing a relationship with like my parents and

1424
01:08:23,560 --> 01:08:27,400
Speaker 3: like kind of you know, just being like doing something

1425
01:08:27,479 --> 01:08:30,960
Speaker 3: like accomplishing And I'm like, the more I remember talking

1426
01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:34,439
Speaker 3: to people, people just had different different things in the mill,

1427
01:08:34,560 --> 01:08:36,880
Speaker 3: like why they were doing it and why they kept

1428
01:08:36,880 --> 01:08:40,160
Speaker 3: going with it. You know, some people there I remember saying,

1429
01:08:40,240 --> 01:08:43,040
Speaker 3: it's not safe for me, you go back home. Like

1430
01:08:43,120 --> 01:08:44,960
Speaker 3: one of my close friends, you know, as parents were

1431
01:08:44,960 --> 01:08:46,559
Speaker 3: going through a divorce, and he's like, I just don't

1432
01:08:46,600 --> 01:08:49,680
Speaker 3: want to. I'd rather be here in this game than

1433
01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:53,719
Speaker 3: really go back and like be in like a home

1434
01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:55,599
Speaker 3: that it's not like, you know, my parents are going

1435
01:08:55,600 --> 01:08:57,559
Speaker 3: through a divorce, Like you know, I don't know what's

1436
01:08:57,600 --> 01:08:59,880
Speaker 3: going on. Like I just don't want to be part

1437
01:08:59,720 --> 01:09:01,880
Speaker 3: and stuck in the middle of it. I'd just rather

1438
01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:03,639
Speaker 3: kind of stay out here.

1439
01:09:03,880 --> 01:09:06,280
Speaker 2: I'm so glad that you were able to maintain that

1440
01:09:06,320 --> 01:09:09,240
Speaker 2: perspective through that experience, because you know, when you when

1441
01:09:09,280 --> 01:09:12,599
Speaker 2: you kind of look up how other people took their

1442
01:09:12,720 --> 01:09:15,360
Speaker 2: experience at the Honor Academy a lot, Like some people

1443
01:09:15,400 --> 01:09:17,960
Speaker 2: call it a cult. Some people say they felt traumatized,

1444
01:09:18,120 --> 01:09:21,800
Speaker 2: and like kudos for like finding your people and being

1445
01:09:21,840 --> 01:09:25,280
Speaker 2: able to you know, not get sucked into the world.

1446
01:09:25,320 --> 01:09:27,519
Speaker 2: Because I can imagine they're like that might have been

1447
01:09:27,560 --> 01:09:29,040
Speaker 2: the experience for a number of people.

1448
01:09:29,160 --> 01:09:31,840
Speaker 3: I'm gonna say it was definitely a cult. The fact,

1449
01:09:31,920 --> 01:09:34,680
Speaker 3: if you look at the definition, they were like, you know,

1450
01:09:34,920 --> 01:09:39,160
Speaker 3: in this place of glue, like from everybody, we had

1451
01:09:39,200 --> 01:09:41,799
Speaker 3: like our basically I remember, so there was this story

1452
01:09:42,320 --> 01:09:44,679
Speaker 3: I was like, where is this all this food coming from?

1453
01:09:45,040 --> 01:09:48,120
Speaker 3: Like man, like I saw cans and like sometimes the meats.

1454
01:09:48,280 --> 01:09:50,479
Speaker 3: We had this freezer and I walk in the freezer

1455
01:09:50,760 --> 01:09:53,800
Speaker 3: and there was venison like there was this deer like

1456
01:09:53,960 --> 01:09:56,600
Speaker 3: laying there like they've just basically killed it in the

1457
01:09:56,600 --> 01:09:57,000
Speaker 3: back of.

1458
01:09:56,920 --> 01:09:59,160
Speaker 1: The woods, and like, oh man.

1459
01:09:59,720 --> 01:10:03,080
Speaker 3: And after that, I remember, for like two months, I

1460
01:10:03,200 --> 01:10:05,519
Speaker 3: just ate PV and J. I was like, I'm not

1461
01:10:06,160 --> 01:10:09,679
Speaker 3: anything from here. It's either you had like two pieces

1462
01:10:09,720 --> 01:10:12,800
Speaker 3: of toast with like jelly or like a pev and

1463
01:10:12,880 --> 01:10:15,639
Speaker 3: j and like some fruit or like you had whatever

1464
01:10:15,680 --> 01:10:18,120
Speaker 3: they made, and like you know, it was basically like

1465
01:10:18,160 --> 01:10:21,280
Speaker 3: cafeteria food and stuff like that. But then yeah, like

1466
01:10:21,600 --> 01:10:24,240
Speaker 3: we had our own grounds and maintenance, like our own

1467
01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:29,080
Speaker 3: basically like generators outside. So it was like and we

1468
01:10:29,080 --> 01:10:32,840
Speaker 3: were like confined. I remember, like we weren't allowed to leave,

1469
01:10:32,880 --> 01:10:36,840
Speaker 3: Like there was curfew as well throughout the whole internship

1470
01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:37,559
Speaker 3: or yeah.

1471
01:10:38,080 --> 01:10:40,680
Speaker 2: Right, So it's not like going to college. It's like

1472
01:10:41,160 --> 01:10:44,360
Speaker 2: being a child going to summer camp where you're you

1473
01:10:44,400 --> 01:10:47,920
Speaker 2: are fully isolated and you can't go in yes or

1474
01:10:47,960 --> 01:10:48,920
Speaker 2: do anything.

1475
01:10:49,960 --> 01:10:52,920
Speaker 3: And there's guards and stuff. And if you break the rules,

1476
01:10:52,960 --> 01:10:55,559
Speaker 3: like you get like you know, two three strikes and

1477
01:10:55,600 --> 01:10:58,360
Speaker 3: you're you know, you're out. You get expelled if you

1478
01:10:58,479 --> 01:11:01,080
Speaker 3: keep like breaking curfew and stuff like that or they

1479
01:11:01,160 --> 01:11:03,840
Speaker 3: put you. Ah, I forget what. There is like a plan,

1480
01:11:04,520 --> 01:11:07,559
Speaker 3: like a repairing plan, a probation plan, and like you

1481
01:11:07,680 --> 01:11:10,680
Speaker 3: have to basically show that you know you want to

1482
01:11:10,720 --> 01:11:14,080
Speaker 3: stay here and like your phone you're aligning with you know,

1483
01:11:14,240 --> 01:11:15,479
Speaker 3: the rules or whatever.

1484
01:11:15,960 --> 01:11:18,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I imagine there's a I imagine the pressure

1485
01:11:19,120 --> 01:11:23,040
Speaker 2: of just like feeling shamed by your peers is a

1486
01:11:23,120 --> 01:11:25,880
Speaker 2: component as well, Like you don't want to mess up

1487
01:11:25,880 --> 01:11:29,360
Speaker 2: because everyone will see and you'll be humiliated in front

1488
01:11:29,400 --> 01:11:29,840
Speaker 2: of them. All.

1489
01:11:29,960 --> 01:11:33,280
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that age is so crucial. Like people like

1490
01:11:33,360 --> 01:11:35,760
Speaker 3: I remember sometimes I'm still figuring out who I am,

1491
01:11:36,360 --> 01:11:39,360
Speaker 3: you know, like and that is it's like so easily

1492
01:11:39,400 --> 01:11:42,639
Speaker 3: to get manipulated. You don't even know you're getting manipulated or.

1493
01:11:42,560 --> 01:11:44,519
Speaker 1: Like you're totally yeah.

1494
01:11:44,600 --> 01:11:46,240
Speaker 2: I mean I think at most ages you don't, but

1495
01:11:46,360 --> 01:11:48,720
Speaker 2: especially when you're still you know, you're figuring out who

1496
01:11:48,720 --> 01:11:50,800
Speaker 2: you are and oh, yeah, what you want to do

1497
01:11:50,840 --> 01:11:51,439
Speaker 2: with your life.

1498
01:11:51,600 --> 01:11:53,880
Speaker 3: There's people that you knew that they were likes kind

1499
01:11:53,880 --> 01:11:56,479
Speaker 3: of like obviously on every circle and every you know,

1500
01:11:56,720 --> 01:12:00,760
Speaker 3: popularity or like they're like really, I was gonna say,

1501
01:12:00,760 --> 01:12:04,960
Speaker 3: on what's like the Instagram when you're Instagram famous? That

1502
01:12:05,040 --> 01:12:10,640
Speaker 3: was like pre pre Instagram, like people influence Like yeah, yeah, influencers.

1503
01:12:11,120 --> 01:12:14,360
Speaker 3: Like there's definitely people that were influencers, you know, and

1504
01:12:14,400 --> 01:12:16,679
Speaker 3: like they would use that and like people would look

1505
01:12:16,760 --> 01:12:18,439
Speaker 3: up and be like I want to be like him.

1506
01:12:18,560 --> 01:12:20,800
Speaker 3: He looks like a really good spiritual leader, Like he

1507
01:12:20,840 --> 01:12:24,240
Speaker 3: has to ship put together, you know, like like well

1508
01:12:24,280 --> 01:12:26,880
Speaker 3: that's for for me. The worship band, the team, like

1509
01:12:26,920 --> 01:12:30,599
Speaker 3: the people running the music program were influencers. I was like, wow,

1510
01:12:30,640 --> 01:12:32,760
Speaker 3: that's what I came here to do. I want to

1511
01:12:32,800 --> 01:12:35,479
Speaker 3: be on that stage. I want to be leading thousands

1512
01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:38,479
Speaker 3: of people, you know, into worship. But in the back

1513
01:12:38,520 --> 01:12:41,280
Speaker 3: of mond, I just wanted to. Like I said, I

1514
01:12:41,400 --> 01:12:44,760
Speaker 3: always wanted to be part of like the music industry,

1515
01:12:45,160 --> 01:12:46,960
Speaker 3: and to me, all I knew I grew up in

1516
01:12:47,360 --> 01:12:49,679
Speaker 3: church for most of my life, so all I knew

1517
01:12:49,720 --> 01:12:52,759
Speaker 3: was worship music and how to perform in a church.

1518
01:12:53,439 --> 01:12:56,120
Speaker 3: I've been employed by churches to play, you know. So

1519
01:12:56,800 --> 01:12:58,960
Speaker 3: obviously the more I got into I was like, well,

1520
01:12:59,680 --> 01:13:01,639
Speaker 3: I'm like, if I want to be a rock start,

1521
01:13:01,680 --> 01:13:03,280
Speaker 3: then I should play in a rock band. Why the

1522
01:13:03,280 --> 01:13:04,679
Speaker 3: fuck I'm playing at a church.

1523
01:13:06,120 --> 01:13:06,880
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1524
01:13:06,960 --> 01:13:09,479
Speaker 3: So yeah, and I still see that's like my main thing.

1525
01:13:09,479 --> 01:13:11,400
Speaker 3: When I see these people, I'm like, you know, you

1526
01:13:11,439 --> 01:13:13,120
Speaker 3: got to go to churches or even in the Honor

1527
01:13:13,160 --> 01:13:16,439
Speaker 3: Academy there was like laser beams, fog lines, and you know,

1528
01:13:16,479 --> 01:13:19,120
Speaker 3: you have this whole experience of worship. I'm like, yeah,

1529
01:13:19,160 --> 01:13:21,920
Speaker 3: you're going to show like if I want to, if

1530
01:13:21,960 --> 01:13:24,760
Speaker 3: I want to experience fog lights and laser beams in

1531
01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:27,320
Speaker 3: my eyes. I'm just gonna go to a show like

1532
01:13:27,560 --> 01:13:31,760
Speaker 3: I'm going to church experience.

1533
01:13:32,360 --> 01:13:34,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're trying to make it cool, right, They're trying

1534
01:13:34,920 --> 01:13:38,000
Speaker 2: to make it something that's enticing to the cool young

1535
01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:42,120
Speaker 2: people so they can continue to spread their message and

1536
01:13:42,200 --> 01:13:43,000
Speaker 2: quotation marks.

1537
01:13:43,040 --> 01:13:45,439
Speaker 3: I'm gonna put myself. I was like, wow, I never

1538
01:13:45,560 --> 01:13:48,360
Speaker 3: knew like there was people were here and I was

1539
01:13:48,439 --> 01:13:50,360
Speaker 3: part of it. Like obviously I had to, like I

1540
01:13:50,479 --> 01:13:53,720
Speaker 3: told you to assimilate just to get bye. Yeah, but

1541
01:13:54,840 --> 01:13:57,760
Speaker 3: you know, I definitely the only thing I'm gonna say

1542
01:13:57,800 --> 01:13:59,640
Speaker 3: that it really kind of helped me is just how

1543
01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:02,439
Speaker 3: kind of even more independent because that's the first time

1544
01:14:02,560 --> 01:14:05,880
Speaker 3: I broke away from my friends in California and like

1545
01:14:06,320 --> 01:14:10,760
Speaker 3: left home and after that I haven't been back. So

1546
01:14:10,840 --> 01:14:13,080
Speaker 3: it was like the first time of like independency, but

1547
01:14:13,200 --> 01:14:16,000
Speaker 3: it wasn't really because I knew my parents paid for it.

1548
01:14:16,160 --> 01:14:18,720
Speaker 3: So but it was at the first disconnection of like,

1549
01:14:19,200 --> 01:14:22,400
Speaker 3: you know, especially with friendly like wow leaving and as

1550
01:14:22,479 --> 01:14:24,519
Speaker 3: much as I love them, like I just like I said,

1551
01:14:24,760 --> 01:14:27,479
Speaker 3: I left because I just I just in the back

1552
01:14:27,520 --> 01:14:29,639
Speaker 3: of my mind I wanted something new, Like I was like, well,

1553
01:14:29,720 --> 01:14:31,720
Speaker 3: I'm here. I know, I didn't go to school. I

1554
01:14:31,720 --> 01:14:34,879
Speaker 3: got kicked out, Like, there's not really another option. I'm working.

1555
01:14:35,680 --> 01:14:38,000
Speaker 3: I just want something new, and this was like, well

1556
01:14:38,040 --> 01:14:40,680
Speaker 3: this is kind of like my only option. Why.

1557
01:14:41,000 --> 01:14:44,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I see the appeal of that, and I see like,

1558
01:14:44,680 --> 01:14:48,200
Speaker 2: of course there's value in that and in elements of

1559
01:14:48,479 --> 01:14:50,679
Speaker 2: different things that went on there, but it just seems

1560
01:14:50,760 --> 01:14:54,080
Speaker 2: like some of these youth camps or whatever like definitely

1561
01:14:54,200 --> 01:14:55,680
Speaker 2: took things too far.

1562
01:14:55,960 --> 01:14:57,760
Speaker 1: And if they didn't do that, it would be great.

1563
01:14:58,080 --> 01:15:00,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, next level for sure. Yeah. And the more I

1564
01:15:00,640 --> 01:15:02,759
Speaker 3: look back and I'm like I'm saying I'm sharing my story,

1565
01:15:02,800 --> 01:15:05,840
Speaker 3: I'm just like I see you know, like you said,

1566
01:15:05,920 --> 01:15:10,760
Speaker 3: motion abuse, physical abuse, drama, traumatic stuff like all this,

1567
01:15:10,880 --> 01:15:14,080
Speaker 3: and I'm like, man, I can't even imagine. Obviously I

1568
01:15:14,160 --> 01:15:16,200
Speaker 3: had other experience that kind of shaped me, and I

1569
01:15:16,240 --> 01:15:19,560
Speaker 3: was a little, oh, I'm not going to say stronger,

1570
01:15:19,640 --> 01:15:22,400
Speaker 3: but like men, when I went there, like I felt

1571
01:15:22,439 --> 01:15:24,439
Speaker 3: like I was prepared, like for I was like, well,

1572
01:15:24,479 --> 01:15:26,960
Speaker 3: I've experienced this, what could be worse than this? But

1573
01:15:27,240 --> 01:15:29,559
Speaker 3: if you're not, if you know, if you're somebody I

1574
01:15:29,600 --> 01:15:31,960
Speaker 3: was gonna say, if you're somebody that's really going genuinely,

1575
01:15:31,960 --> 01:15:35,000
Speaker 3: like I'm looking for an encounter with God. I'm trying

1576
01:15:35,000 --> 01:15:37,960
Speaker 3: to like find my faith. I think it was traumatic in.

1577
01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:41,639
Speaker 4: Scarred for sure, Like oh yeah, this is what God means.

1578
01:15:42,479 --> 01:15:44,920
Speaker 3: You totally putting myself you know.

1579
01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:47,799
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for talking to us about your experience, Louise,

1580
01:15:48,400 --> 01:15:51,519
Speaker 2: thanks again, and looks like you're doing well now, So

1581
01:15:51,600 --> 01:15:53,720
Speaker 2: that is all we can ask.

1582
01:15:54,680 --> 01:15:58,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I probably I went through a couple like counseling.

1583
01:15:58,280 --> 01:16:00,839
Speaker 3: I've talked a little bit of this with my counselor,

1584
01:16:00,880 --> 01:16:03,000
Speaker 3: but like I said, it's just kind of Actually the

1585
01:16:03,000 --> 01:16:05,040
Speaker 3: more I just read through stuff and like you know,

1586
01:16:05,280 --> 01:16:08,080
Speaker 3: talk to people about emotional and physical abuse and like

1587
01:16:08,120 --> 01:16:10,160
Speaker 3: sure sometimes I'll bring it up, but like I know,

1588
01:16:10,240 --> 01:16:14,280
Speaker 3: it's just wrong. Obviously I've this disconnected my whole religious

1589
01:16:14,680 --> 01:16:18,280
Speaker 3: connection like you know, with church, Christianity all of that

1590
01:16:18,400 --> 01:16:23,000
Speaker 3: as well. So that kind of helped really yeah, close

1591
01:16:23,040 --> 01:16:25,040
Speaker 3: the chapter and be like all right, this is wrong,

1592
01:16:25,400 --> 01:16:28,760
Speaker 3: like identify them, like, man, these people they were just

1593
01:16:28,880 --> 01:16:31,680
Speaker 3: not who they say they were, even like if they

1594
01:16:31,720 --> 01:16:35,320
Speaker 3: were trying to promote God, Jesus whatever, I was like,

1595
01:16:35,400 --> 01:16:38,640
Speaker 3: that's not the right way to do it. I was

1596
01:16:38,680 --> 01:16:40,280
Speaker 3: like in my opinion, that's not the right way to

1597
01:16:40,280 --> 01:16:40,559
Speaker 3: do it.

1598
01:16:40,600 --> 01:16:46,519
Speaker 1: So yeah, agreed. Wow, Wow, Wow, we were all right? Megan?

1599
01:16:46,840 --> 01:16:49,720
Speaker 2: Yes, I think would you join on our academy or

1600
01:16:49,800 --> 01:16:50,880
Speaker 2: teen medium ministries?

1601
01:16:51,040 --> 01:16:54,080
Speaker 1: Okay, I just realized while I was thinking about this

1602
01:16:54,320 --> 01:16:57,600
Speaker 1: that I it would completely depend on if I was

1603
01:16:57,600 --> 01:17:02,200
Speaker 1: in a manic episode or not so depressed Megan, No,

1604
01:17:02,360 --> 01:17:06,519
Speaker 1: couldn't do it. Manic Megan would love nothing more than

1605
01:17:06,560 --> 01:17:08,920
Speaker 1: to get up at four and do push ups for

1606
01:17:09,240 --> 01:17:12,400
Speaker 1: with a million other people, for some bigger cause. So

1607
01:17:12,880 --> 01:17:15,760
Speaker 1: the name actually holds a little secret.

1608
01:17:15,520 --> 01:17:22,280
Speaker 2: To my answer, Megan Mania industries manic Meghan ye ministry,

1609
01:17:22,280 --> 01:17:25,240
Speaker 2: I keep calling you industries. Do you have manic episodes?

1610
01:17:25,400 --> 01:17:25,519
Speaker 3: Oh?

1611
01:17:25,600 --> 01:17:27,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh I didn't know this about you.

1612
01:17:27,640 --> 01:17:30,479
Speaker 2: How have we gone two years of working together and

1613
01:17:30,880 --> 01:17:32,360
Speaker 2: I've never witnessed one?

1614
01:17:32,560 --> 01:17:35,800
Speaker 1: Oh? I mean you certainly have. Really, Yeah, what does

1615
01:17:35,840 --> 01:17:38,800
Speaker 1: it look like? Well, I guess you don't live with me,

1616
01:17:38,960 --> 01:17:42,000
Speaker 1: so it looks like nothing to you. But it just

1617
01:17:42,080 --> 01:17:46,280
Speaker 1: looks like four years worth of stuff being done in

1618
01:17:46,360 --> 01:17:50,439
Speaker 1: two hours and like really fast talking and doing everything

1619
01:17:50,439 --> 01:17:50,960
Speaker 1: all at once.

1620
01:17:51,200 --> 01:17:53,599
Speaker 2: Okay, maybe I have, because there have been I feel

1621
01:17:53,600 --> 01:17:57,320
Speaker 2: like most of the time we're like pretty chill take

1622
01:17:57,360 --> 01:18:00,240
Speaker 2: a long time to do things, both of us for you.

1623
01:18:00,280 --> 01:18:02,160
Speaker 2: Once in a while you'll be like, what are we

1624
01:18:02,160 --> 01:18:03,320
Speaker 2: doing with this thing? How can I help with this thing?

1625
01:18:03,360 --> 01:18:04,080
Speaker 2: What's when I'm this thing?

1626
01:18:05,439 --> 01:18:07,080
Speaker 1: And like I'm so desperate to do it when I'm

1627
01:18:07,120 --> 01:18:09,600
Speaker 1: manic because I know and I'm not. I literally my

1628
01:18:09,640 --> 01:18:14,719
Speaker 1: brain is likenk. I'm doing a really slow winding motion

1629
01:18:14,840 --> 01:18:17,479
Speaker 1: where it's just like nothing. I don't know. I shouldn't

1630
01:18:17,479 --> 01:18:20,160
Speaker 1: talk shit on my brain like that, but it's pretty frustrating.

1631
01:18:20,160 --> 01:18:21,320
Speaker 1: I mean, that doesn't sound that bad.

1632
01:18:21,360 --> 01:18:24,400
Speaker 2: I've witnessed manic episodes in some people I know and

1633
01:18:24,439 --> 01:18:29,599
Speaker 2: some friends, and they get like full on paranoid, and yeah,

1634
01:18:29,960 --> 01:18:31,040
Speaker 2: I don't scary.

1635
01:18:30,840 --> 01:18:34,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I don't like try to have sex with

1636
01:18:34,280 --> 01:18:37,000
Speaker 1: people or like like my friend has that kind of

1637
01:18:37,200 --> 01:18:40,960
Speaker 1: mania where she'll be like really ways more sexually like

1638
01:18:41,280 --> 01:18:45,440
Speaker 1: open and all of that stuff. That's not my experience.

1639
01:18:45,479 --> 01:18:48,440
Speaker 1: I'm just like actually a human functioning.

1640
01:18:49,040 --> 01:18:50,960
Speaker 2: I didn't know that a manic episode could just be

1641
01:18:51,000 --> 01:18:53,479
Speaker 2: a period where you're more energized. I thought it was

1642
01:18:53,520 --> 01:18:57,679
Speaker 2: like because I've only seen it be literally like oh,

1643
01:18:57,760 --> 01:19:01,280
Speaker 2: they're like they've like lost their minds kind of right, Yeah,

1644
01:19:01,280 --> 01:19:03,439
Speaker 2: I mean, sometimes people have really severe ones and they

1645
01:19:03,439 --> 01:19:06,599
Speaker 2: have to be hospitalized and whatever, but mine are pretty chill.

1646
01:19:06,840 --> 01:19:07,120
Speaker 1: Nice.

1647
01:19:07,200 --> 01:19:10,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, thanks, I feel like I have I have that,

1648
01:19:10,200 --> 01:19:14,120
Speaker 6: but like every other day, Oh that's nice, that's great

1649
01:19:14,320 --> 01:19:16,920
Speaker 6: where I'll be like I can't fucking look at anyone

1650
01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:20,640
Speaker 6: or talk to anyone for day's A and for days B,

1651
01:19:20,760 --> 01:19:21,920
Speaker 6: I'm like, what the fuck am I doing?

1652
01:19:21,920 --> 01:19:23,280
Speaker 2: I have to get worked on with what's going on?

1653
01:19:23,560 --> 01:19:25,320
Speaker 1: Like, what have I not done? You know? Wow?

1654
01:19:25,560 --> 01:19:25,760
Speaker 4: Nice?

1655
01:19:26,040 --> 01:19:27,240
Speaker 2: Nice, nice and balanced.

1656
01:19:27,400 --> 01:19:30,200
Speaker 1: Our brains are really really great places to be.

1657
01:19:32,120 --> 01:19:33,479
Speaker 2: Listen, we're getting shipped done.

1658
01:19:33,600 --> 01:19:38,160
Speaker 1: Okay, thank you for joining our brands again. We love that. Yeah,

1659
01:19:38,200 --> 01:19:43,120
Speaker 1: thank you. Remember to go leave a review if you've

1660
01:19:43,200 --> 01:19:45,840
Speaker 1: liked what you've heard. If you've liked what you've heard.

1661
01:19:45,640 --> 01:19:48,000
Speaker 2: If you don't like it, please don't leave a rooie.

1662
01:19:48,360 --> 01:19:51,800
Speaker 1: It's not helpful. You're too busy, it's hard to do it.

1663
01:19:51,920 --> 01:19:54,519
Speaker 1: You have to sign in. Don't get take it so much.

1664
01:19:54,560 --> 01:19:58,080
Speaker 1: We just do something else. But if you love, please

1665
01:19:58,120 --> 01:20:01,599
Speaker 1: give us one. That means so much. As always, remember

1666
01:20:01,600 --> 01:20:04,040
Speaker 1: to follow your gut, watch out for red flags, and

1667
01:20:04,240 --> 01:20:07,719
Speaker 1: never ever trust and trust me boot bite

1668
01:20:13,560 --> 01:20:13,600
Speaker 3: H