WEBVTT - BA Q&A: How to Kick Your Amazon Addiction 0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:19.280 All right, it's time for B a q A B 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:21.840 a q A. I can't believe I'm doing it. I 0:00:21.840 --> 0:00:25.079 feel embarrassed. Hello a q a Q. 0:00:27.720 --> 0:00:28.560 I'll back you up. 0:00:30.640 --> 0:00:33.320 Thank you for that, Thank you for that. We have 0:00:33.479 --> 0:00:37.239 Delian Vados from sleighing the stock Market and Delian the 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:39.960 Money Coach joining us on B, a Q and A 0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:42.960 this week. Delian, thank you so much for sticking around 0:00:43.040 --> 0:00:45.080 and taking some questions from our BA fam. 0:00:45.440 --> 0:00:47.440 Yes, let's hear them all right. 0:00:47.479 --> 0:00:49.080 And just a reminder, if you guys want to ask 0:00:49.159 --> 0:00:51.600 us a question, you can go to our ig send 0:00:51.640 --> 0:00:54.040 us a d M. We're at Brand Ambition Podcast on 0:00:54.120 --> 0:00:56.560 i G or hit us up on our email Brand 0:00:56.600 --> 0:01:00.000 Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. All right, let's get 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:02.240 to We have a couple of juicy questions. The first one, 0:01:02.600 --> 0:01:04.679 I think Delian and I both feel deep in our 0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:08.680 our our hearts comes from an anonymous listener who says, 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:11.480 I really need your help. I can't seem to stop 0:01:11.520 --> 0:01:15.319 impulse buying. I'm shopping on Amazon multiple times a week. 0:01:15.560 --> 0:01:18.280 I'm always checking out with PayPal, which has my AMEX 0:01:18.360 --> 0:01:20.480 linked to it, and my credit card is on food 0:01:20.520 --> 0:01:23.920 apps like Panera and Starbucks. I feel like I always 0:01:23.920 --> 0:01:27.280 have access to cash. Every month I'm accumulating like seven 0:01:27.400 --> 0:01:30.040 hundred to nine hundred dollars in credit card debt and 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:32.040 pay it off, only to end up in more debt 0:01:32.080 --> 0:01:34.480 the next month. I just want to save my money 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:36.720 and buy a house or invest. Thank you for reading 0:01:36.760 --> 0:01:39.760 this and helping me out. Oh man, this was me 0:01:39.800 --> 0:01:44.400 in the of the pandemic Amazon one click shopping. Are 0:01:44.440 --> 0:01:48.360 you kidding me? There's a reason I feel like it easy. 0:01:48.520 --> 0:01:50.320 So what do you have to say to this listener this, 0:01:50.400 --> 0:01:52.080 dear dear impulse buying. 0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:55.520 First of all, don't beat yourself up because the marketing 0:01:55.520 --> 0:01:59.720 machine is very real and it's very powerful. So you 0:01:59.720 --> 0:02:02.240 are not, like, you know, a failure or there's not 0:02:02.320 --> 0:02:04.560 something wrong with you because you can't just seem to 0:02:04.600 --> 0:02:07.880 resist the ads because they are powerful. And I totally 0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:10.000 get that. I used to do this too when I 0:02:10.000 --> 0:02:12.960 had insomnia. I had terrible insomnia, and I would wake 0:02:13.000 --> 0:02:14.480 up in the middle of the night, and just like you, 0:02:14.600 --> 0:02:16.400 all of my credit cards were saved to my phone, 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:19.000 so it was very very easy to shop while I was, 0:02:19.160 --> 0:02:22.679 you know, unable to sleep, and then packages would arrive 0:02:22.680 --> 0:02:24.480 in my house and I didn't even remember what I ordered. 0:02:24.760 --> 0:02:28.200 It was, you know, a problem that was spiraling out 0:02:28.200 --> 0:02:30.399 of control, and the only way that I was able 0:02:30.400 --> 0:02:32.680 to solve that is by taking the credit cards off 0:02:32.760 --> 0:02:35.320 the phone. I had to stop. And also I had 0:02:35.320 --> 0:02:37.239 to get new card numbers because it was so bad 0:02:37.240 --> 0:02:42.000 to the point where I had memorized my credit card numbers. Okay, 0:02:42.639 --> 0:02:45.280 when you know your sixteen digit credit card number, that's 0:02:45.320 --> 0:02:48.040 how you know you may have a problem. So I 0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:52.240 had to get new cards, take the numbers off my phone. 0:02:52.320 --> 0:02:54.560 And then also I had to ask myself what is 0:02:54.720 --> 0:02:57.799 triggering this? It's just like anything else, like food or 0:02:57.840 --> 0:03:01.120 anything else that you're like overdoing. What is triggering this? 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:03.320 What is the emotion that's happening here? What am I 0:03:03.440 --> 0:03:07.800 feeling before and after I make these purchases? And you 0:03:07.919 --> 0:03:11.280 really have to have that moment of truth with yourself 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:13.720 and be like, am I trying to fill a void? 0:03:13.800 --> 0:03:17.000 Am I bored? Am I sad? Is this how I 0:03:17.000 --> 0:03:21.320 celebrate happiness? Is this how I celebrate anything? And really 0:03:21.360 --> 0:03:25.079 start understanding what's the underlying emotion that's driving this behavior. 0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:27.120 Because I can teach you how to make a spreadsheet 0:03:27.120 --> 0:03:28.919 all day long, I can talk to you about the 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:31.800 you know, the opportunity cost of like the money that 0:03:31.800 --> 0:03:33.959 you're wasting that should be invested in the stock market. 0:03:34.000 --> 0:03:36.119 I can talk your head off about that all day long, 0:03:36.160 --> 0:03:37.800 but that's not going to get down to like the 0:03:37.960 --> 0:03:40.800 emotional trigger that's causing this behavior. 0:03:42.200 --> 0:03:45.080 Yeah, it's all about the mindset too, and it's exactly 0:03:45.120 --> 0:03:48.480 that trigger, and it's about what is your So for me, 0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:51.760 being an I suffer from impulse control when it comes 0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:53.800 to eating. I have my whole life, and for me 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:56.840 it's about, you know, am I setting myself up to 0:03:56.920 --> 0:03:59.400 be successful? Or am I setting myself up to make 0:03:59.480 --> 0:04:01.600 choices that I just beat myself up for later, you 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:03.520 know what I mean? And for me, it looks like 0:04:03.760 --> 0:04:06.400 maybe don't purchase the foods that you know will trigger, 0:04:06.560 --> 0:04:08.920 or maybe make sure that you're getting good night's sleep 0:04:08.920 --> 0:04:11.480 so that you're not tired, cranky and upset later and 0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:14.200 taking care. Have a nap, you know what I'm saying. 0:04:14.280 --> 0:04:16.479 Have a nap so that you're not we talked about 0:04:16.560 --> 0:04:18.640 naps in last week, But have a nap so you're 0:04:18.640 --> 0:04:21.360 not so haggard and tired that you you know, you 0:04:21.440 --> 0:04:23.960 try to cure yourself with like iced coffee with tons 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:26.880 of sugar in it. I love your tip to remove 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:29.159 your credit cards. And I want to address the part 0:04:29.160 --> 0:04:31.719 of this question where they're asking about, you know, I 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:33.440 just want to save my money and buy a house 0:04:33.520 --> 0:04:36.640 or invest So here's my trick for that. I don't look. 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:39.560 I wouldn't I personally, because I struggle with this too. 0:04:39.560 --> 0:04:41.920 I wouldn't focus so much on the things that you're 0:04:42.000 --> 0:04:44.800 buying that are taking you away from those goals. What I 0:04:44.800 --> 0:04:47.840 think you should do is treat your investing and your 0:04:47.880 --> 0:04:50.680 saving almost like a credit card bill. So make it 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:52.960 a bill that you pay to yourself and automate that 0:04:53.160 --> 0:04:56.359 ish Like that is the way that I have, you know, 0:04:56.440 --> 0:04:59.800 gotten to where I have financially by by not worrying 0:04:59.800 --> 0:05:02.520 so much about how much I'm spending on groceries each 0:05:02.560 --> 0:05:04.680 month or eating out on you know, door Dash or 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:07.560 Uber eats or whatever. But how just making sure that 0:05:07.800 --> 0:05:10.560 I automatically I'm saving and investing each month, so that 0:05:10.680 --> 0:05:12.359 even if I have a slip up, a slip up 0:05:12.400 --> 0:05:16.240 quote unquote here and there, I can still rest easy 0:05:16.360 --> 0:05:19.039 knowing I'm still in the market, like I'm still investing 0:05:19.520 --> 0:05:22.359 automatically because I know myself enough to know if I 0:05:22.400 --> 0:05:24.839 have to manually do it, I may not make the 0:05:24.839 --> 0:05:27.920 wisest choice if it comes between me or you know, 0:05:28.120 --> 0:05:30.680 that special the new wardrobe that I'm looking for, the 0:05:30.720 --> 0:05:34.440 new gadget or whatnot. So can you get to a 0:05:34.480 --> 0:05:36.680 place where you have paid off your credit card debt? Okay, 0:05:37.200 --> 0:05:39.840 keep it, delete your credit cards from Amazon and all 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:43.320 these apps, keep it, you know, get all your plastic off, 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:46.120 like Delian has said, and then let a month go 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:49.120 by where you actually don't have credit cards, and then 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:53.320 set up some automatic payments and start paying yourself automatically, 0:05:53.839 --> 0:05:55.840 and maybe with the knowledge that the money ain't going 0:05:55.880 --> 0:05:58.800 to be there for your credit card, that will help 0:05:58.839 --> 0:06:02.720 you think twice before you actually, you know, make those 0:06:02.760 --> 0:06:03.719 impulse purchases. 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:06.720 Yeah, I want people to think about credit cards. It's 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:10.320 not anything evil. First of all, it's there's no morality 0:06:10.400 --> 0:06:14.159 tied to credit cards. It's a tool, just like Yeah, 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:16.440 it's just a tool, just like anything else. But it's 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:18.360 also a privilege to be able to use a credit card. 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:20.440 And if you're abusing the privilege, then let's take it 0:06:20.480 --> 0:06:24.000 away for a minute, let's reassess the system, and then 0:06:24.040 --> 0:06:26.359 we can always reintroduce credit cards down the line. It 0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:28.240 doesn't mean that you can never ever use a credit 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:30.599 card again. I'm a huge fan of using credit cards, 0:06:30.920 --> 0:06:32.800 but I also pay it off one hundred percent and 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:35.760 I don't let my credit cards derail me from my 0:06:35.839 --> 0:06:36.440 other goals. 0:06:36.760 --> 0:06:39.160 Yeah. Absolutely, And also, are you guilty I have? I 0:06:39.160 --> 0:06:41.679 don't know if I shouldn't say guilty, but I am. 0:06:41.839 --> 0:06:44.240 I am. I like to when I was a kid, 0:06:44.279 --> 0:06:46.560 we would go window shopping, like literally, we'd just like 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:49.760 go to some major you know, downtown Atlanta or whatever, 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:52.560 to the mall and just look in stores, try things on, 0:06:52.680 --> 0:06:55.680 not buy anything. And for me, I still get kind 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:58.040 of like the endorphin release when I go on to 0:06:59.520 --> 0:07:01.800 you know, when my favorite brand's websites and just fill 0:07:01.880 --> 0:07:04.279 up a cart. I fill up a cart and I'm like, wow, 0:07:04.320 --> 0:07:07.160 that's two thousand dollars. I'll come back to it. If 0:07:07.200 --> 0:07:09.000 I really want it, I'll come back to it. I 0:07:09.040 --> 0:07:12.600 have so many abandoned online shopping carts, and that's that's 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:14.560 as far as I let it go. Late night when 0:07:14.600 --> 0:07:17.000 I wake up at like two and Instagram serves me 0:07:17.040 --> 0:07:19.880 an ad for some like sleep, some loungewear that I've 0:07:19.880 --> 0:07:22.520 been wanting to try. Damn those ads, so you said it. 0:07:22.560 --> 0:07:26.480 The marketing. They are so powerful, They're so good and terrible. 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:29.000 But that's what I like to do. I put like 0:07:29.000 --> 0:07:31.280 a seventy two hour time on it. If I put 0:07:31.280 --> 0:07:33.400 it in my cart, and in seventy two hours, I 0:07:33.400 --> 0:07:35.560 still care and I go back to it. Most of 0:07:35.640 --> 0:07:37.640 the time I forget. I can't even tell you what 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:39.120 I was shopping on at two am this year, I 0:07:39.120 --> 0:07:40.480 would say twenty four hours. 0:07:40.560 --> 0:07:43.640 Honestly, yeah, your hours, you're going to completely forget. 0:07:43.320 --> 0:07:46.840 It exactly, and that I think I need it, And 0:07:46.920 --> 0:07:50.240 that has helped me a lot to just not just 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:52.440 put it in your cart and come back to it later. 0:07:53.800 --> 0:07:56.280 But I love you for asking this question, for admitting it, 0:07:56.280 --> 0:07:58.280 because I know, I know for a fact you are 0:07:58.320 --> 0:08:06.360 not alone at all. Okay, thank you for your question. 0:08:06.480 --> 0:08:08.800 Let's go to number two, And just as a reminder, 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:11.320 me and Delianne, we're your financial girlfriends today. We are 0:08:11.360 --> 0:08:15.640 not your financial advisors or financial advisors in general. So 0:08:15.880 --> 0:08:18.520 take what we're saying with a huge handful of salt, 0:08:18.520 --> 0:08:20.680 as I like to say, not just a grain, a 0:08:20.760 --> 0:08:23.600 hole handful, and just know that it's hard for us 0:08:23.600 --> 0:08:25.920 to give specific advice because we don't know every little 0:08:25.920 --> 0:08:29.960 detail about you. So with that caveat, and as Delian says, like, 0:08:30.080 --> 0:08:33.320 don't sue us, or if you do, direct those to Delian, 0:08:33.480 --> 0:08:38.040 she's the attorneyer like not me, not me, all right? 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:41.959 Number two This is from a listener named Laura, who says, 0:08:42.160 --> 0:08:45.320 I've worked in nonprofits for years and recently started a 0:08:45.320 --> 0:08:48.280 government job with the pension. I opted into the full 0:08:48.280 --> 0:08:50.559 pension plan, and I have plans to stay in government 0:08:50.600 --> 0:08:53.040 work until I retire at fifty five, which is in 0:08:53.120 --> 0:08:56.480 twenty seven years, assuming the world doesn't catch fire by then. 0:08:56.600 --> 0:08:58.800 I mean, isn't it literally catching fire right now? Though 0:08:59.480 --> 0:09:01.840 I should have about seventy to one hundred K a 0:09:01.920 --> 0:09:05.800 year from my pension, I'm currently contributing fifty dollars a 0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:08.720 month to hoard my wroth IRA, but I plan to 0:09:08.720 --> 0:09:11.280 start maxing it out for twenty twenty two and beyond. 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:15.120 I also plan to contribute to my deferred compensation plan 0:09:15.160 --> 0:09:17.840 in twenty twenty two, which is like my government's four 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:20.080 to one K. I should be out of credit card 0:09:20.160 --> 0:09:23.000 debt by December twenty twenty one, thank god, and have 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:25.320 my car set to be paid off by twenty twenty three. 0:09:25.880 --> 0:09:28.120 My question is am I doing too much with the 0:09:28.160 --> 0:09:31.920 retirement money? I want to lean into enjoying my money now, 0:09:32.200 --> 0:09:34.640 but I want to be mindful about my future as well. 0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:38.360 I would love your thoughts. So this was a beefy one. 0:09:38.440 --> 0:09:40.480 Let me back up and reread a couple things. So 0:09:40.559 --> 0:09:43.360 what she's asking is, she's got fifty dollars a month 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:45.840 going into a wroth. She's gonna start maxing that out. 0:09:46.080 --> 0:09:48.240 She's also putting money into her four oh one k 0:09:48.640 --> 0:09:50.839 through her government job. She's going to pay off for 0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:52.400 credit card debt and have her car paid off by 0:09:52.520 --> 0:09:53.880 bite in two years from now. 0:09:54.040 --> 0:09:55.240 But is she a pension? 0:09:55.679 --> 0:09:58.600 She's a pension coming her way? Is she over saving 0:09:58.640 --> 0:10:01.240 for retirement? Is there such a thing? Delianne? Like, what 0:10:01.280 --> 0:10:03.000 do you think there. 0:10:02.880 --> 0:10:04.560 Is such a thing. I'm not gonna say there isn't 0:10:04.600 --> 0:10:08.720 such a thing. But I when people ask this question, 0:10:08.960 --> 0:10:11.280 it usually means that they don't have a goal in mind. 0:10:11.640 --> 0:10:15.199 Am I doing too much? Am I doing enough? If 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:17.400 you don't know if you're on track, that means that 0:10:17.440 --> 0:10:19.760 you don't you haven't decided what the track is, like, 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:22.320 where are you heading? And so This is where people 0:10:22.520 --> 0:10:26.160 tend to spend more money than they should because they 0:10:26.200 --> 0:10:29.079 don't have any direction for where their money should be going. Right, 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:31.280 So if you think you're investing enough, they're like, oh, 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:33.960 I can spend more. But if you're not investing enough, 0:10:34.240 --> 0:10:36.319 then you're going to fall short at the end. Now, 0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:38.480 I understand this person has a pension, which is a 0:10:38.559 --> 0:10:41.559 unique situation. Not most people don't have access to a pension. 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:44.520 So should you still be investing, you know, quote unquote 0:10:44.559 --> 0:10:47.839 aggressively and if you have a pension, yes, because like you, 0:10:48.040 --> 0:10:50.520 she said, she's twenty seven years away from collecting on 0:10:50.559 --> 0:10:53.439 that pension. A lot can change in twenty seven years, right, 0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:57.760 you could change jobs, the pension. Something could happen. Pensions 0:10:57.760 --> 0:10:59.400 are not one hundred percent guaranteed. I know a lot 0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:02.000 of people think they are, but some of them sometimes 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:04.600 are mismanaged and you don't get the payout that you 0:11:04.640 --> 0:11:08.520 thought you were going to get, So you cannot count 0:11:08.559 --> 0:11:11.040 on it a thousand hundred percent. You know, you have 0:11:11.120 --> 0:11:13.600 to have a backup plan. So I'm happy to hear 0:11:13.600 --> 0:11:17.840 that you're investing in other vehicles as well. And also, 0:11:17.880 --> 0:11:20.760 what if you decide that you want to retire early, right, 0:11:20.840 --> 0:11:23.120 then the pension is not going to be an option 0:11:23.240 --> 0:11:26.720 for you because you have to stay. So I'm glad 0:11:26.720 --> 0:11:28.600 to hear that you're investing in these other accounts. Like 0:11:28.600 --> 0:11:30.720 I said, if you don't know if you're investing enough, 0:11:30.920 --> 0:11:32.439 then it means that you don't know what your financial 0:11:32.440 --> 0:11:34.360 independence number is. So that's the first thing you need 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:38.040 to do. The formula for financial independence is your annual 0:11:38.040 --> 0:11:41.080 expenses times twenty five. That is a guideline. It is 0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:43.840 not like live and die by it, but is a 0:11:43.880 --> 0:11:45.679 guideline for you to start. It's like a back of 0:11:45.679 --> 0:11:48.440 the napkin type of number. But start with that number 0:11:48.440 --> 0:11:51.040 and then work your way backwards. Okay, well, let's say 0:11:51.040 --> 0:11:54.200 you know it was your annual expenses are forty thousand 0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:56.320 dollars a year. Forty times twenty five is going to 0:11:56.320 --> 0:11:58.360 be a million, So you need a million dollars invested. 0:11:58.440 --> 0:12:00.280 Now you want to work backwards, well, how much I 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:02.760 need to invest per month to reach a million dollars 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:05.599 by x age? Because it's also about how fast you 0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:08.559 want to hit that number. Some people don't care. They're like, oh, 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:10.640 I can wait twenty twenty five years to get to it, 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:12.200 and some people are like, no, I want to hit 0:12:12.200 --> 0:12:14.679 it in like ten years. Obviously those are gonna that's 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:17.040 gonna look very different, right, depending on what you want. 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:19.760 So I would say, find out what your financial independence 0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:22.120 number is, work your way backwards, and then you'll have 0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:25.920 a better sense of you know, how fast do I 0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:28.520 need to be moving here with my investing? Yeah? 0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:31.120 I think that's really wise. And I have also found 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:33.240 myself in the exact position you're in, Laura, and I've 0:12:33.280 --> 0:12:35.240 got about a decade on you. So don't feel bad 0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:37.520 at all. You're about if I'm doing my own math. 0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:39.280 She says she's going to retire at fifty five, which 0:12:39.280 --> 0:12:41.000 is in twenty seven years. So she's in her early 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:43.160 twenty wait, early thirty. 0:12:44.000 --> 0:12:45.880 I think she's like my age. 0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:48.160 She's like, yeah, yeah, forty five. 0:12:48.400 --> 0:12:51.520 No, she's thirty five, she's like thirties, early thirties. 0:12:51.880 --> 0:12:54.920 We're both so bad at I know this. 0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:56.880 Is why I went to law school. 0:12:57.360 --> 0:13:01.640 No, she's twenty eight. She's twenty Eight's. 0:13:00.600 --> 0:13:02.280 Exactly when I started at twenty eight. 0:13:02.400 --> 0:13:06.160 Yeah you so you yeah, amazing. Now listen, here's my thought. 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:08.959 It is now that we've got the really difficult question, 0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:12.200 how old are you out of the way. My thing is, 0:13:12.240 --> 0:13:15.960 it sounds like you're like you're not enjoying your money, 0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:19.120 or maybe you don't have enough left over after all 0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:21.480 these goals are met to feel like you're enjoying it. 0:13:21.600 --> 0:13:24.880 So I would always carve out some of your budget. 0:13:24.880 --> 0:13:26.800 And it sounds like you're doing really well financially. You're 0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:28.080 going to pay off your car, and you have some 0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:30.240 credit card debt, You're going to pay that off. You know, 0:13:30.320 --> 0:13:33.240 how are you spending money on things that you enjoy 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:36.520 and pouring into yourself and do it really mindfully? You 0:13:36.559 --> 0:13:38.320 can't do all the things because you still have your 0:13:38.320 --> 0:13:40.920 goals in mind, right, But is there one thing a 0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:43.360 month or a week that will bring you joy that 0:13:43.400 --> 0:13:45.600 makes you feel like I am enjoying the fruits of 0:13:45.600 --> 0:13:49.040 my labor now because yo, lo, like you only live once, right. 0:13:49.720 --> 0:13:52.679 My next thing is, you're only twenty eight, and I 0:13:52.800 --> 0:13:55.800 like to be really aggressive younger. You have time on 0:13:55.840 --> 0:13:59.800 your side now if you just double down and remember that, 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:02.079 like like you, I don't know anything else, like do 0:14:02.080 --> 0:14:04.079 you have a family, you have kids? You know, your 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:06.240 relationship whatever, what your future is going to be like? 0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:10.120 But I was never it's so much easier when you 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:13.200 can only think about yourself. I cannot tell you, Like, 0:14:13.280 --> 0:14:16.400 delian look how look at the glow she has, look 0:14:16.400 --> 0:14:19.600 at that she got a dog. You're single, you know, 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:22.880 just like it's a it's a choice, Delianne, that you 0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:25.400 made and I did not, and you know say I 0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:27.920 regret it, but like you know what I mean, like 0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:34.920 you look really well rested, like but listen, like there 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:36.800 is oh and who's calling me? 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:37.080 Now? 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:40.720 It's my speaking of my husband? No, but when you 0:14:40.760 --> 0:14:43.680 were just making decisions for yourself, it is that is 0:14:43.680 --> 0:14:45.400 the time. I feel like you really want to double 0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:48.600 down and be excited to be able to pour so 0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:52.280 much money into your into your investments, and you're doing 0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:54.960 so many amazing things and you're so far ahead. I 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:57.160 feel like of a lot of people your age that 0:14:57.240 --> 0:15:00.280 why not you know, capitalize on this on this time now? Wow? 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:02.920 And who knows? I know you seem pretty dead set 0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:05.800 on working for the government and another twenty seven years, 0:15:05.800 --> 0:15:08.640 But that's a long time, Laura. You don't know what 0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:11.480 could happen. Maybe if you start investing now, you may 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:13.920 not have to go the full like forget the pension. 0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:16.760 Can I say that? Like, maybe you could make more 0:15:16.800 --> 0:15:20.000 than the pension happening to my husband right now because 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:21.680 he works for the government and he loves to say 0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:24.080 he has a pension, And I'm like, maybe you could 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:26.760 quit and then you would have even more than a pension. 0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:32.400 But anyway, that's for our financial therapist, a couple therapists 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:35.080 to work through. But I would just say that, you know, 0:15:35.360 --> 0:15:37.680 I think when you're young, in your twenties, you know, 0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:39.840 living for yourself and only yourself, that is when you 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:42.400 really would double down. So I think you're doing, you know, 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:46.000 totally the right thing, but just you know, whatever, find 0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:48.040 the thing that you value that brings you joy and 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:50.080 invest in that and consider that investment in your own 0:15:50.120 --> 0:15:53.840 mental health and your happiness because that matters too. 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:57.040 One hundred percent. I mean, I think investing is about 0:15:57.120 --> 0:16:00.320 extending a life that you already love so much, building 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:02.480 the life that you love, And the whole point of 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:04.880 investing is like, I want to maintain this lifestyle for 0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:08.200 as long as possible. That's what people don't realize. They're like, oh, 0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:10.600 why do I want to save and invest so that 0:16:10.640 --> 0:16:12.920 I can enjoy my life when I'm sixtied? No, no, no, 0:16:12.960 --> 0:16:14.760 you're thinking about it the wrong way. It's build the 0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:17.640 life that you love right now today, and then you 0:16:17.680 --> 0:16:19.840 want to continue that so you don't have to downgrade 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:22.320 when you hit your sixties and seventies, right, That is 0:16:22.320 --> 0:16:25.600 not a cute look to have to budget and cut 0:16:25.360 --> 0:16:28.720 coupons when you're that old, when you're really going to 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:31.320 need all the comforts in life. Right, Like in your 0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:34.040 twenties and your thirties, you can rough some things, but 0:16:34.160 --> 0:16:36.160 when you're in your sixties, you don't want to be 0:16:36.240 --> 0:16:39.280 roughing it in your sixties and seventies. That is not cute. 0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:42.800 You want the most expensive mattress, they say, yes, you 0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:45.760 want the most comfiest shoes, Like you want first class 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:48.520 baby on the flight they tell you. I'm like, what 0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:51.080 are the you've mentioned on If you haven't listened to 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:53.320 Wednesday show where I talked to Delian more in depth 0:16:53.320 --> 0:16:55.240 about her story. I think on that show you talk 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:58.440 about how you you know, you do spend time on 0:16:58.480 --> 0:17:00.600 yourself and doing things that you love, like traveling, But 0:17:00.640 --> 0:17:02.880 what are some things that you know really bring you 0:17:03.000 --> 0:17:05.320 joy that you say that you know have the most 0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:06.960 value for you. As far as when you're gonna spend 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:09.000 money on yourself, what is that going toward. 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:13.800 Oh I love, I love you know. My love language 0:17:13.840 --> 0:17:16.720 is like quality time, so anything having to do with 0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:21.360 like live events, making new memories in person. So obviously 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:25.320 traveling is part of that. But I love listening to music, live, 0:17:25.800 --> 0:17:27.800 comedy shows live. When I lived in New York City, 0:17:27.880 --> 0:17:30.040 I was going to a Broadway show like at least 0:17:30.080 --> 0:17:33.879 once a month. So I like to take advantage of 0:17:34.320 --> 0:17:36.560 the activities in my I am a tourist in my 0:17:36.640 --> 0:17:39.240 own city, right, so I will do like the dorky 0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:43.439 little sailboat tours like around the Harbor. I will do 0:17:43.600 --> 0:17:46.399 all those things, you know, because I've I like to 0:17:46.520 --> 0:17:49.040 enjoy my city as a tourist. Would I'm like, I 0:17:49.080 --> 0:17:51.080 pay a lot of money to live here. I want 0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:54.040 to I want to enjoy it. So that and then 0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:57.600 on a smaller scale, is I love leggings. I'm sorry, 0:17:57.680 --> 0:17:57.960 I do. 0:17:58.040 --> 0:17:59.880 I love mentioned that as if it was an entire 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:03.920 category earlier. Bringing that up again, You're like, I buy leggings. 0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:08.560 It's a whole thing. It is something that is just 0:18:08.600 --> 0:18:10.560 dear to my heart. I used to have a fitness 0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:13.480 account on Instagram, so I used to be a spinning instructor. 0:18:13.560 --> 0:18:15.080 I don't know if you knew that, but. 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:20.040 So wow, Okay, that's peloton. Yes, all right, so you 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:22.160 should get on me for how my peloton right now 0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:24.360 if you can just see it it is. 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:25.280 It is called dust. 0:18:25.640 --> 0:18:29.360 It's home to my moon pod, which is my We 0:18:29.400 --> 0:18:32.359 had no wedding because of Hurricane Ida Delian. I don't 0:18:32.359 --> 0:18:35.680 know what to tell you, Okay, that's why. Then, okay, 0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:38.360 I had to save her, so she was she had 0:18:38.400 --> 0:18:39.480 to reach higher ground. 0:18:40.200 --> 0:18:41.200 Oh. 0:18:41.200 --> 0:18:42.800 I go on a lot of walks in the summer. 0:18:42.840 --> 0:18:44.760 I don't peloton as much in the basement because I 0:18:44.760 --> 0:18:47.199 just want to be outdoors. But let me give me 0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:48.800