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Speaker 1: Hey, folks, it's Lyle. Before we get into the episode,

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Speaker 1: I wanted to talk to you guys about a new

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Speaker 1: thing I'm doing where you can help support my lizard

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Speaker 1: endeavors by becoming a premium member of this podcast over

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Speaker 1: at Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Premium members, or

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Speaker 1: gek Legends, as I call them, we'll be able to

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Speaker 1: get every new and existing episode of Therapy Gecko completely

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Speaker 1: ad free. They'll also get a bonus podcast episode once

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Speaker 1: a month, a bonus live show episode once a month

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Speaker 1: from all of the live shows I've been doing around

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Speaker 1: the world, a member's only live stream once a month.

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Speaker 1: Plus you'll also support my ability to continue, hopefully doing

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Speaker 1: this podcast for a long time, doing it around the world,

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Speaker 1: and also supporting my ability to occasionally go eat a

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Speaker 1: slice of pizza. Go to Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot

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Speaker 1: com or find the link in the episode description to

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Speaker 1: become a gek Legend today. All right, let's get into

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Speaker 1: the episode. Hello, Hello, How you doing all right?

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Speaker 2: Man? I'm doing pretty good. How about you tonight?

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Speaker 1: I'm hanging in there, man, I'm feeling all right. What's

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Speaker 1: what's going on with you? Your name is Jason.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeh, Jason.

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Speaker 1: What's happening with you? Jason? How can I get you today?

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Speaker 3: Uh?

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Speaker 2: Well, I call it in because I'm kind of in

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Speaker 2: like a little bit of a unique situation. See, my

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Speaker 2: ex wife lives with me, and my ex girlfriend kind

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Speaker 2: of like sits outside and stalks my apartment at like

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Speaker 2: three in the morning because she doesn't know the ex

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Speaker 2: wife lives with me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah I did that. You were right, Yeah, that is

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Speaker 1: quite a predicament. So why does your how how long

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Speaker 1: ago did you divorce your first of all? Which one

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Speaker 1: was more recently your uh? I guess actual partner? Were

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Speaker 1: you more recently? Uh? With the wife or with the girlfriends?

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Speaker 1: But the girls recently did not have the ex status?

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, all right, So you were dating this girl

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Speaker 1: and then you broke up with her, and then your

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Speaker 1: ex wife moved in with you.

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Speaker 2: Oh what, myg's girlfriend broke up with me? Sees me

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Speaker 2: and my ex girlfriend, the one the stalker in question,

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Speaker 2: we had dated previously to me and my ex wife

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Speaker 2: being together.

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Speaker 1: And why does your okay, so okay, so that that

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Speaker 1: makes sense. You and you were with the wife and

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Speaker 1: then the girlfriend. Who are you? Who are you with first?

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Speaker 2: The girlfriend first, then the wife, then the girlfriend again.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, all right, now, why is your ex wife

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Speaker 1: living with you?

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Speaker 2: She found herself in a situation where she didn't have

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Speaker 2: anywhere to go. So we were together for like eight

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Speaker 2: years and out helped raise her kids. So her kids

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Speaker 2: still consider me, like, you know, a father figure or whatever.

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Speaker 2: So kind of out of the kindness of my heart,

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Speaker 2: I was like, well, if you know how anywhere to go?

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Speaker 2: She was like, I need a place to stay for

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Speaker 2: a week, and then a week. That was back in January.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, okay, so she's been living with It's August right now.

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Speaker 1: She's been living with you for I'm gonna it's August

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Speaker 1: is eight months, right, yeah, yeah, seven or eight months,

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Speaker 1: between seven and nine months. So why is she still there?

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Speaker 2: That's a good question. She has a temper, so it's

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Speaker 2: hard to bring it up with her without a lot

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Speaker 2: of confrontation, but it you know, she had previously said that. Okay,

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Speaker 2: so she left me, my ex wife did because she

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Speaker 2: said that she felt like she had always been like

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Speaker 2: using me, because like I was a person that would provide,

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Speaker 2: you know, I give her a places there, you know,

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Speaker 2: pay the bills, you know, I keep a steady job,

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Speaker 2: things like that, and then she felt like she was

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Speaker 2: never really in love with me. She was just there

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Speaker 2: for the I don't know, complacency of it. And then

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Speaker 2: I kind of feel like the same thing is happening,

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Speaker 2: just we're not sleeping together.

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Speaker 1: You know, she broke up with you because she felt

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Speaker 1: like she.

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Speaker 2: Oh, she didn't just break up with me. She left

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Speaker 2: me for a dude that was ten years younger. Thus

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Speaker 2: that was the ecstasy dealer, and then kind of went

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Speaker 2: on like a crazy bench and like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and when she left you for this guy,

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Speaker 1: she told you that she didn't really love you and

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Speaker 1: that she was just using you for your money and

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Speaker 1: and the things that.

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Speaker 2: You provide, not necessarily money. I don't make like a

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Speaker 2: crap ton of money. It's it's just like it's enough

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Speaker 2: to maintain a household where she necessarily didn't have to

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Speaker 2: work or you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, right, so yeah, but using not Yeah, she's she

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Speaker 1: was using you for your money and she told.

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Speaker 2: You that yeah after the fact, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Okay, And then she goes off. Do you guys have

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Speaker 1: kids together? Did you say that?

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Speaker 2: No, they're not my kids biologically, but you know, I

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Speaker 2: treat them as such.

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Speaker 1: Her kids.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she had three kids with one other guy, you know,

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Speaker 2: not separate baby daddies that they're all the same baby daddy.

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Speaker 2: But you know, I when I'm when I met the kids,

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Speaker 2: they were like, you know, between eight and eleven or so.

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Speaker 2: And then you know, I helped raise them, so like

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Speaker 2: they they they considered me their father because they're actual

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Speaker 2: father wasn't anywhere in the picture.

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Speaker 1: And do you still keep in contact with those kids?

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Speaker 2: That's correct.

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Speaker 1: How long were you away from your ex wife before

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Speaker 1: she moved back in.

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Speaker 2: About three years and.

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Speaker 1: During those three years were you in contact with her

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Speaker 1: kids still.

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Speaker 2: For the first two years? No, But she's got two

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Speaker 2: girls and a boy. The boy graduated from the Academy

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Speaker 2: of Science and Arts. And when he graduated, he made

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Speaker 2: like a big to do about he didn't want the

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Speaker 2: guy that she left me for there. He wanted me

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Speaker 2: there because he felt like I contributed to his success.

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Speaker 2: And then that is what started the conversation, you know,

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Speaker 2: back up between us.

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Speaker 1: All right, so he's graduating, he wants you there, and

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Speaker 1: then how does this converse? So then how does this

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Speaker 1: conversation go where she comes back into your house?

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Speaker 2: So she had bounced around a few different places. She

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Speaker 2: was like a living nurse for a little while way

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Speaker 2: out in the Sticks, and then you know, she lost

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Speaker 2: that gig or whatever, and she was living in really

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Speaker 2: sketchy places and like for real, because like the way

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Speaker 2: that it ended, it wasn't like I you know, it

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Speaker 2: was kind of out of the blue, and like I

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Speaker 2: still had feeling for her, so like I didn't want

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Speaker 2: to see her suffer, and you know, knowing that I

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Speaker 2: had the power to at least alleviate some of that,

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Speaker 2: I thought that I would try to be the better

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Speaker 2: person and go, hey, look man, like I'm kind of

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Speaker 2: just staying here by myself, Like I have a decent

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Speaker 2: job and shit, so like you can come crash on

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Speaker 2: my couch for a while and like it just it's

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Speaker 2: still there.

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Speaker 1: Jason. You're a sweet man that your idea of being

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Speaker 1: the bigger person in a relationship is letting your ex

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Speaker 1: stay in your house and eat your food and paying

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Speaker 1: for everything for her for eight months. That's very nice

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Speaker 1: of you, Jason.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm still here, Jason.

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Speaker 1: I'm not here to hurt your feelings. But like, let's talk.

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Speaker 1: Is she's still is she still in the house? Are

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Speaker 1: you are you Where are you calling me from? Is

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Speaker 1: she like in the fucking other room.

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Speaker 2: No, she actually went to go shoot pool tonight with

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Speaker 2: another guy who's, like, I don't know, fifteen years younger

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Speaker 2: than her that she's trying to seduce. So I'm just

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Speaker 2: sitting here watching your stream in.

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Speaker 1: My apartment, Jason. What are you doing?

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Speaker 2: Man?

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Speaker 1: Jason? And you're afraid to tell her to leave because

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Speaker 1: she has a temper and she'll get mad, Jason has

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Speaker 1: I'm afraid.

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Speaker 2: I'm afraid to tell her to leave because she doesn't

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Speaker 2: have anywhere else to go. Like if I if I

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Speaker 2: was just like, hey, kick rocks, you know what I mean, Like,

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Speaker 2: she doesn't have a hot hand job, and where we

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Speaker 2: live at is kind of expensive to get a place

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Speaker 2: to live, so it's like I'd be putting her out

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Speaker 2: in her ass again, you know. I personally like, I

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Speaker 2: don't want to do Go ahead.

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Speaker 1: The kids. Hold of the kids now.

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Speaker 2: They're grown, they're eighteen, twenty twenty two.

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Speaker 1: Oh, Jason, Jason, Okay, I was gonna say. I was

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Speaker 1: going to say, if you felt bad because of the kids,

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Speaker 1: that's one thing I'm fuck. I don't like telling people

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Speaker 1: what to do Jason, kick this woman out of your house.

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Speaker 2: I do kind of feel like the kids might hold

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Speaker 2: it against me to some degree, even I mean they're

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Speaker 2: not kids, they're they're adults obviously, But like you.

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Speaker 1: Know, Jason, man, all right, let's talk. I'm all right,

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Speaker 1: you talk about you? Jason. What do you do?

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Speaker 2: I am a I'm a route driver, so I drive

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Speaker 2: for a company that you know, I drive around Houston.

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Speaker 2: That's what I do.

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Speaker 1: Okay, all right? How how do you feel? You happy?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: What's making you unhappy?

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Speaker 2: Uh? The fact that, like I guess I got you know,

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Speaker 2: I had to struggle to find my own sense of

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Speaker 2: identity and independence, and then I feel like it's kind

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Speaker 2: of been stolen away from me.

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Speaker 1: And stolen away from you from this woman.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean it was really hard to I love

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Speaker 2: that woman, you know, and it was really hard to

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Speaker 2: break away from her, and and you know, to separate

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Speaker 2: myself find my own like sense of purpose outside of

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Speaker 2: being a husband and a father to kids that aren't mine,

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Speaker 2: you know that I have no rights over and then

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Speaker 2: to have that thrust back into my life and then,

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Speaker 2: you know, and then I'm obviously being taken advantage of again.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, you know, I'm I struggle with the conflict

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Speaker 2: of I know I need to do what's right for me,

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Speaker 2: but doing what's right for me means putting somebody in

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Speaker 2: a situation of peril, and fundamentally, I feel like that

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Speaker 2: goes against my nature.

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Speaker 1: Mm Jason, Jason, Jason.

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Speaker 2: Mhm, I know this is savvy man. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no, don't be sorry at all.

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Speaker 1: I wanna, I wanna. I want to help you here,

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Speaker 1: because look, do you understand what what if? What if

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Speaker 1: we what if we looked at it like this? What

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Speaker 1: if we looked at it like this? If it's in

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Speaker 1: your nature to help people, why don't you help yourself?

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Speaker 2: Man?

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Speaker 1: Because yes, kicking this woman out would make her unhappy,

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Speaker 1: but uh, having her stay is making you extremely unhappy.

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Speaker 1: Isation where you need to prioritize your own happiness over

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Speaker 1: this woman.

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Speaker 2: The problem I have with that is if prioritizing my

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Speaker 2: own happiness means that I would okay, So the happiness

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Speaker 2: that I would gain from kicking her out is not

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Speaker 2: comparative to the suffering that she would be subject to.

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Speaker 1: Jason, I'm gonna can I put this to another way?

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Speaker 1: The suffering that this woman subjects herself to.

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Speaker 2: You have.

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Speaker 1: Okay, dude, And this is and this is something I

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Speaker 1: really I really, I really really want you to understand.

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Speaker 1: This woman suffering is her own fault. It's her. She's

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Speaker 1: how old is she?

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Speaker 2: She is forty two.

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Speaker 1: She's a forty two year old woman, Jason. She needs

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Speaker 1: to be responsible for her life, Okay, not you. Her suffering,

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Speaker 1: her not having a place to go, and her having

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Speaker 1: not being able to have a job or doing any

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Speaker 1: of these things about and her life not being together

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Speaker 1: is not your doing, Jason. You've only ever helped this person,

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Speaker 1: and at a certain point she needs to go help herself.

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Speaker 1: And by God, I'd understand the situation a little bit

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Speaker 1: more if it was somebody.

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Speaker 3: Who who who who you had a great relationship with,

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Speaker 3: who you shared kids of your own with, who said

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Speaker 3: something to you other than I literally point blank was

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Speaker 3: using you for your money.

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Speaker 1: Jason. You gotta let her be responsible for herself. Man.

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Speaker 2: That's hard to do. Man, It's hard for me, Like,

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Speaker 2: regardless of the situation of any individual, I find it

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Speaker 2: hard for me to inflict, you know, suffering upon another

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Speaker 2: individual when I have the means to not do. And

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Speaker 2: you're right, I'm not disagreeing with you, It's just hard

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Speaker 2: to get to that point where I'm like, hey, yo,

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Speaker 2: you know kick Rocks brod.

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Speaker 1: I I I really, I really hope there's a heaven. Jason.

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Speaker 1: You're the first person I've met that made me think

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Speaker 1: that I really hope there's a heaven, because the fact

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Speaker 1: that you know, the idea of you dying and you

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Speaker 1: know you never get anything in return for this path

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Speaker 1: of selfleslessness that you've chosen is upsetting to me. Dude,

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Speaker 1: that's kind It was kind of you there, Jason. Have

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Speaker 1: you talked to anyone else about this?

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Speaker 2: I have, man, I actually talked. I had a therapist

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Speaker 2: for a while, uh for over a year, and like,

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Speaker 2: granted she would if she heard this, she would tell

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Speaker 2: me that, you know, having her stay with me, it

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Speaker 2: was an absolutely terrible idea.

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Speaker 1: It's a terrible idea. So knowing that your therapist thinks

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Speaker 1: it's a terrible idea, no that I think it's a

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Speaker 1: terrible idea. Knowing that there's not a single person on

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Speaker 1: the world that you would talk to about this that

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Speaker 1: would tell you that it's not a terrible idea, Why

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Speaker 1: do you remain unconvinced.

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Speaker 2: I don't. I don't know, Wow, I don't. I don't

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Speaker 2: like hurting people man like. I don't like putting people

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Speaker 2: in situations discomfort, Like, regardless of their situation with me,

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Speaker 2: even if it was like a random stranger, I would

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Speaker 2: still be in the same position, I think mentally, Yeah.

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Speaker 4: But you're heart but you're hurting yourself every day.

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Speaker 1: Just to do you have any family? Do you have

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Speaker 1: any any family where your parents still arounds?

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Speaker 2: My parents got divorced when I was very young, listened

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Speaker 2: to im. I was raised by my mom.

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Speaker 3: And.

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Speaker 2: I don't like she wouldn't approve of the situation either,

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Speaker 2: And like I kind of a keeping the fact that

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Speaker 2: my ex wife is staying with me a secter from everybody,

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Speaker 2: because literally no one would say that this is a

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Speaker 2: good idea.

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Speaker 1: We know, we know nobody would say it's a good idea.

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Speaker 1: So do you have any friends?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 5: Mm hmmm, hmmmm.

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Speaker 2: M hm.

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Speaker 1: And you don't have any children of your own aside

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Speaker 1: from this woman's children, right, No.

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Speaker 2: I have a half sister who is uh, that's strange,

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Speaker 2: we'll say, and then my mom and that's pretty much it.

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Speaker 1: So are you are you close with your mom?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Very close?

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Speaker 1: Okay, great, have you you have you talked to her

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Speaker 1: about this?

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Speaker 6: No?

295
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Speaker 2: Uh, I don't really want to get my ass rings

296
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Speaker 2: to my mom my. Terrible decision.

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Speaker 1: Maybe what about your dad? What's up with him?

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Speaker 2: Ah? We we don't have a great relationship.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you have any friends that were or you drive?

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Speaker 1: You drive a car, so you're you You're pretty much

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Speaker 1: alone during the day.

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Speaker 2: I drive a truck. I drive one of those like

303
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Speaker 2: snubnosed box trucks as you see going down the road

304
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Speaker 2: delivering random things. That's what I drive. It's a it's

305
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Speaker 2: a very very lonely job. I spend five percent of

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Speaker 2: my day conversing with other humans.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm, God. I really do hope there's a heaven, Jason,

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Speaker 1: I really do. Tell me about this. Okay, let's put

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Speaker 1: a pin in this ex wife situation. Tell me about

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Speaker 1: this ex girlfriend. Is this the other part of this

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Speaker 1: that you wanted to talk about? Tell me about the

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Speaker 1: ex girlfriend. Is this the other part of this that

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Speaker 1: you wanted to talk about, Because not only do you

314
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Speaker 1: have this ex wife situation going on, now, your ex

315
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Speaker 1: girlfriend is currently stalking you as well.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so we dated before me and my ex wife

317
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:34,439
Speaker 2: were together and it ended tragically. She left me for

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Speaker 2: a guy like a meth dealer or something, and then

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Speaker 2: that ended badly. And then me and my ex wife

320
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Speaker 2: had gotten together, and then we spent the next eight

321
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Speaker 2: years together. And after me and my ex wife split,

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Speaker 2: she found an in you know, and and came back

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Speaker 2: into my life and everything was cool for like we

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Speaker 2: alreadyget it for a couple of years, and then like

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Speaker 2: she cheated on me with her ex and then kind

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Speaker 2: of was just like it seemed like one of those

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Speaker 2: situations where somebody like they find something stable and then

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Speaker 2: they they're not used to it, so they rebel against it.

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Speaker 2: So then she left me right so and then like

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Speaker 2: after the fact, when after the fact that when I

331
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Speaker 2: was like, OK, okay, well I'm actually done with this

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Speaker 2: because I've learned some lessons, right and she was like

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00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,480
Speaker 2: kind of went sideways about it. It's been like sending

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Speaker 2: me like crazy ass texts, you know, like angry as

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Speaker 2: shit because she left me, but I won't get back

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Speaker 2: with her. And then like three o'clock in the morning,

337
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:38,240
Speaker 2: she's sending me messages like, you know, I was outside

338
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Speaker 2: of your place for like fifteen minutes, but I didn't

339
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,760
Speaker 2: want to come and knock on your door, and it's

340
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:48,440
Speaker 2: like Jesus Christ, man, I can't I can't get away

341
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Speaker 2: from these crazy ass women.

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Speaker 1: Did your friends? Growing up.

343
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:06,359
Speaker 2: One quasi long term friend, I moved around a lot.

344
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Speaker 2: Like being raised by a single mom in a less

345
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:13,920
Speaker 2: than advantageous financial situation, you find yourself moving around a lot.

346
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Speaker 2: And when you find yourself in that situation, you have

347
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,560
Speaker 2: to reinvent yourself. You find new friends. So I don't

348
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 2: really have any long term friends or family members, so

349
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Speaker 2: now I'm kind of just going solo in this.

350
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Speaker 1: Well, look at you now, man, I'm proud of you

351
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:34,639
Speaker 1: because you know, it sounds like you grew up not

352
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 1: a great financial situation and now you have enough money

353
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Speaker 1: not only to support yourself, but to support your wild

354
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Speaker 1: ex wife.

355
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, I guess so.

356
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Speaker 1: So no, no, And I know it's funny, but I

357
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:56,639
Speaker 1: seriously should be proud of yourself for that, Jason, You

358
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 1: really should, because it sounds like you went through a

359
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,240
Speaker 1: lot to get where you are right now.

360
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Speaker 2: Thank you for saying that.

361
00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 1: Okay, so you've kind of been alone in your whole life.

362
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:17,240
Speaker 1: Yeah mm hmm, what would your dude, what would your

363
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:20,560
Speaker 1: life look like if it was if it was really good,

364
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,320
Speaker 1: what would it what would what would that look like?

365
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:35,240
Speaker 2: I mean that's a good question, I guess. You know,

366
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 2: it sounds simple, but like basically the kind of life

367
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:43,919
Speaker 2: that afforded me to sit around a bonfire on the

368
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 2: weekends listen friends just barbecuing, you know, with the tailgate

369
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,920
Speaker 2: down the truck with some music on, just shooting ship,

370
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:56,040
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, just kind of like not

371
00:22:56,119 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 2: taking things too seriously, like I I got I got

372
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,920
Speaker 2: me tattooed on my arm, because like that's kind of

373
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,200
Speaker 2: like how I want to go about life, Like I

374
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,680
Speaker 2: I want it to be like it's not that big

375
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:12,120
Speaker 2: a deal, Like everything's good when you look at it

376
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:17,280
Speaker 2: from the broad perspective, but it doesn't really seem that

377
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:18,760
Speaker 2: it actually plays out that way.

378
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, mm hmmm. Because you'd like to be able to,

379
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Speaker 1: uh kick your ex wife out and when she bangs

380
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:32,479
Speaker 1: on the door, turn around and go meh, but for

381
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 1: some reason you can't know that.

382
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:41,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that sounds pretty accurate. It's I have

383
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 2: a high sense of morality. I guess when it comes

384
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,360
Speaker 2: to my own personal act, maybe I'm very critical of myself.

385
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 1: Why why are you critical of yourself.

386
00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 2: You know, my whole life.

387
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Speaker 1: Man.

388
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 2: I mean I'm told that that dudes are like pieces

389
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:05,640
Speaker 2: of shit, you know what I mean, Like we're all toxic,

390
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 2: We're all like there's no good dudes in this world.

391
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:11,199
Speaker 2: Like I've seeing that over and over again, and I

392
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:15,560
Speaker 2: kind of made it my like fixture to prove that wrong.

393
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 2: Like there there are actually like good people in this

394
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 2: world who just want the people that they love to

395
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:27,480
Speaker 2: be successful and happy. It's hard to prove that to people.

396
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,200
Speaker 2: I guess they just have their own walls or something.

397
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:44,239
Speaker 1: Now, Jesse, have you ever done anything outside of your

398
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 1: normal routine to put yourself out there to make new

399
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:53,400
Speaker 1: friends or to meet girls or anything like that.

400
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:59,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've kind of had this, this this experience recently

401
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:04,359
Speaker 2: where like I go on like dating apps and I'm like, hey,

402
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,600
Speaker 2: you know, maybe I can meet somebody, Maybe I can

403
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,880
Speaker 2: meet somebody new. You know what I'm saying, somebody had

404
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:15,119
Speaker 2: zero contact with outside of my previous life. And the

405
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:19,440
Speaker 2: response I've gotten is that and this sounds harsh, but

406
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:27,639
Speaker 2: it's true. Is that, like I'm too ugly for other women,

407
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:32,640
Speaker 2: Like no one wants to take the time to get

408
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 2: to know someone else.

409
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 1: I don't know who told you that.

410
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:42,480
Speaker 2: In the last three months, three separate women on dating

411
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:46,280
Speaker 2: apps were like, well, you know, you seem like a

412
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 2: cool guy, but you know you're not that cute.

413
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:57,639
Speaker 1: The three different women on dating apps told you that, Yeah.

414
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:02,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I look, man, I don't. I don't consider myself

415
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:06,720
Speaker 2: like a like a like a nine or anything like

416
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,240
Speaker 2: or a one. I think I follow like a five

417
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 2: or a six, Like I'm six to like one hundred

418
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:17,479
Speaker 2: and seventy. I'm a ginger. It is what it is,

419
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:18,280
Speaker 2: you know what I mean?

420
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,920
Speaker 1: Like, I'm not everybody that's pretty good right.

421
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 2: There, I guess. I mean my job is pretty active.

422
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:35,920
Speaker 1: Man, Jason, you said you went to therapy before.

423
00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:39,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, for like over a year.

424
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:40,200
Speaker 3: Man.

425
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:43,359
Speaker 2: It was expensive, but at the time I could afford it.

426
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:46,479
Speaker 2: I can't anymore, which might be why I'm talking to you.

427
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 1: Was it helpful when you had it?

428
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 2: Very very helpful. If anybody thinks that they can't be

429
00:26:55,440 --> 00:27:00,919
Speaker 2: held by therapy, they're wrong. Everyone can be helped by therapy.

430
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:04,120
Speaker 2: Mm hm, it was. It was a beautiful thing, man,

431
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,560
Speaker 2: Like I miss my therapist. I ain't a log.

432
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 1: Just I want I want to keep talking about I

433
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:13,680
Speaker 1: want to keep talking to you about this, but will

434
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:15,399
Speaker 1: you do me, Will you do me a favor after

435
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:18,959
Speaker 1: this call if you could, and I might. You know,

436
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,480
Speaker 1: this fucking just comes up so much on the podcast

437
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 1: that I I I've done some a little bit of

438
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:28,600
Speaker 1: research into it. Can you try to what can you can?

439
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 1: I ask you what state you live in, Texas? Texas,

440
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:36,960
Speaker 1: go to the go to the I don't know how

441
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:39,879
Speaker 1: far you are of like the University of Texas or whatever,

442
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:44,120
Speaker 1: but like you can go to you can. I've looked

443
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 1: into that. I've never tried it myself. I actually kind

444
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:47,639
Speaker 1: of want to and report back so it goes. But

445
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 1: you can go to like a university and if they

446
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 1: have a psychology department, I think they have these things

447
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:02,919
Speaker 1: where you can like get free therapy from grad students

448
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 1: or something like that. I don't know for sure. I

449
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 1: don't quote me on it, but I think there are

450
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 1: resources to get free therapy, and I think you should.

451
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 1: You should take advantage of them. So go do that,

452
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 1: because you know, I want to keep talking you about this,

453
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 1: but maybe it'll take a few sessions with a real

454
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:25,920
Speaker 1: therapist over the long term, because I don't know, man,

455
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about so many things and It's like, Dude,

456
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 1: I could tell you a lot of things, and I

457
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:35,920
Speaker 1: could tell you that you need to put yourself back

458
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 1: out there, but at the end of the day, it's like,

459
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 1: I feel like you just have these like fundamental beliefs

460
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:44,800
Speaker 1: about yourself, and I don't know who put them there.

461
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:48,240
Speaker 1: I don't know if it was these like series of

462
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 1: horrible relationships or unfortunate encounters that you've had. I don't

463
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 1: know where these ideas that you have about yourself came from.

464
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 1: But you need to undo them and get them out

465
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 1: of your head because you are are You don't deserve

466
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 1: to feel that way about yourself, especially after all of

467
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 1: the good will that you've tried really hard to act

468
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 1: with in your life. You know, and I also and

469
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 1: I also think that, I mean, you have so many

470
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 1: good years ahead of you if you can undo those

471
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 1: bad thoughts that you have about yourself and find somebody

472
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 1: who gives a shit about you and kind of make

473
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:57,240
Speaker 1: this chill, bonfire life that you're talking about. I really,

474
00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:00,080
Speaker 1: I really think it's in it's in the cards for you.

475
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 1: You gotta undo these horrible ways that you have of

476
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 1: of of thinking about yourself.

477
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 2: It's uh, I like that advice. Well, I appreciate that. Man,

478
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:25,200
Speaker 2: mm hm hm.

479
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of what else? Man, have any

480
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 1: have have either of these this x This woman has

481
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 1: been living with you for a months. She hasn't tried

482
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: to hit you. Has she? Uh?

483
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 2: My ex wife hit me in a lot. Uh. I

484
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 2: actually had to have surgery to remove a like a

485
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,120
Speaker 2: like assist, you know what I'm saying. That devolved from

486
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 2: the But dex's girlfriend, No, she's more like psychological warfare.

487
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:02,320
Speaker 2: But that his wife. Yeah, No, she was highly abusive

488
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 2: and is in Texas. Man, you can't well probably in

489
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 2: any other state. You can't be like, hey, my wife's

490
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 2: beating me, you know what I'm saying, Like it it

491
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 2: comes just kind of like looked out the way on that.

492
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 1: Well, this is the this is the woman who's staying

493
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:17,520
Speaker 1: with you right now.

494
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was always my fault, right I drove her

495
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 2: to that or I made her insane or you know whatever.

496
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 2: You know she's abusive.

497
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:46,239
Speaker 1: Can I can I ask you something? Do you? And bro?

498
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not a real therapist, but I'm I'm

499
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:55,080
Speaker 1: captivated by your this moment, like, get do you do

500
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 1: you understand even a little bit and it's a genuine

501
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:04,440
Speaker 1: question because you seem like a you know, a self

502
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 1: aware guy and a smart guy. Do you understand the

503
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:18,800
Speaker 1: effects of a relationship like that? Do you understand the

504
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 1: effects that that relationship has likely had on you?

505
00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 2: I don't know. I I struggle with this. See. I

506
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:30,360
Speaker 2: grew up watching my mom be highly abused, and I

507
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 2: don't know if I fall into that same pattern of

508
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:41,640
Speaker 2: accepting abuse as a byproduct of emotional instability. I don't know.

509
00:32:47,240 --> 00:33:03,480
Speaker 2: M I'm sorry to make you think so much.

510
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:07,600
Speaker 1: Man, I know, don't be done. You got you got

511
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 1: nothing to apologize for now. I want to be thinking

512
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 1: because I'm like, I'm like, dude, no j I wanna,

513
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 1: I want to, I want, I want. I would. I

514
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:18,840
Speaker 1: would love to get a call from you of a

515
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:22,000
Speaker 1: fucking year from now, to hear that you you found

516
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,320
Speaker 1: somebody new and you're having bonfires and you're living a

517
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:25,960
Speaker 1: good life.

518
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 2: I'd probably I'd probably just be playing Minecraft, just hating myself.

519
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 2: H mm hmm.

520
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 1: Have you got any when you were on the dating apps?

521
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 1: Did you go on any successful dates?

522
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:55,520
Speaker 2: No? Look, man, the thing is the thing is like

523
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 2: that that I I think that I run in a

524
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 2: highlight level, and and so like, you know, I'm talking

525
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:05,080
Speaker 2: to you about some like really deep ship, right like,

526
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 2: but my life is kind of full of really deep shit,

527
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:12,440
Speaker 2: right like, so like really deep ship is kind of

528
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 2: the norm for me, and and like that kind of

529
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:20,440
Speaker 2: scares people off, like they don't want people of substance

530
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 2: and value, right.

531
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:23,520
Speaker 1: Tell me what you tell me what you mean when

532
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 1: you say that your life is filled with really deep shit?

533
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:40,640
Speaker 2: Ah? So okay, Well, my my mom raised me, right

534
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 2: and then like me and or my mom and my

535
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:46,759
Speaker 2: dad broke up and split off when I was like

536
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:51,680
Speaker 2: one or two. And then after that my mom raised me,

537
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 2: but like she was in really bad position because she

538
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,560
Speaker 2: was raised terribly by a highly abusive father of hers.

539
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 2: So she found men that kind of emulated that, you know,

540
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 2: aspect of themselves.

541
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 1: And then yeah, you're just a descendant of a of

542
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:14,879
Speaker 1: a long standing pattern of all this shit.

543
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 2: Kind of So so when I was like nine, uh,

544
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:22,840
Speaker 2: my mom decided that I would be better off living

545
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 2: with my dad because like he lived this quote unquote

546
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:30,279
Speaker 2: stable life. So she kind of sent me off to

547
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:33,279
Speaker 2: go stay with him, and he was in a different state,

548
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:38,120
Speaker 2: so I went and stayed with him, and then I

549
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 2: have an older brother or an older half brother who

550
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 2: happened to be living there at the time, and then

551
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:48,120
Speaker 2: when she sent me off to live with my dad,

552
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:53,960
Speaker 2: my brother molested me for like two years, and then

553
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,680
Speaker 2: like whenever I finally got the courage to tell my

554
00:35:56,800 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 2: dad about it, he acted like nothing happened, and then

555
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:05,520
Speaker 2: it just continued to happen for another year before he

556
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 2: set an apartment building on fire and got sent back

557
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:12,480
Speaker 2: to Texas. And it just like it just kind of

558
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:16,560
Speaker 2: compounded things, man Like it just like I had a

559
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:19,919
Speaker 2: really kind of fucked up view of what dudes were

560
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:22,880
Speaker 2: and then like had no idea on what it would

561
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:29,480
Speaker 2: what it was to be, Like you know, a man,

562
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:30,920
Speaker 2: I guess I don't really know.

563
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:37,880
Speaker 1: So you so you just had such horrible uh views,

564
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 1: and and of of like these male models in your life,

565
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:45,440
Speaker 1: of your brother and your dad that you kind of

566
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:48,120
Speaker 1: just swore you were, like, I'm never ever ever going

567
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:54,719
Speaker 1: to be somebody that inflicts any kind of modicum, bro, Anybody.

568
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:57,400
Speaker 2: Let me tell you that, Like the person I am

569
00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 2: today is almost it living in of of that. Yeah,

570
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:07,479
Speaker 2: in spite of the male figure mm hmm, which which

571
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:12,319
Speaker 2: in itself, which in itself regards yourself, like am I

572
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:14,840
Speaker 2: doing this for my own thing? Or am I actually

573
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 2: a good person?

574
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:15,799
Speaker 1: You know?

575
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:19,279
Speaker 2: I struggle with this ship all the time.

576
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:24,719
Speaker 1: Man, And so you're like, so so so don't want

577
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:28,359
Speaker 1: to be anything like these horrible models that you had

578
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 1: growing up that you don't want to kick out your

579
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 1: ex wife? Who does you cut totally? You got to

580
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:40,239
Speaker 1: kick out? Is that kind of what's going on?

581
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:46,439
Speaker 2: If you want to put it in a in a box? Yeah,

582
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:47,920
Speaker 2: I mean yeah, I guess so.

583
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:51,239
Speaker 1: Well, I guess not putting it in a box. But

584
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:54,600
Speaker 1: I maybe that's it sounds to me like that's a

585
00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:56,279
Speaker 1: contributing factor to what's going on.

586
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,120
Speaker 2: M I guess that's why I'm talking to a gecko

587
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:03,840
Speaker 2: on the computer.

588
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 5: M h.

589
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 1: Oh Man, Jason, Jason, fuck man? What what? What is

590
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:19,200
Speaker 1: your company?

591
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:19,640
Speaker 2: I want?

592
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:22,360
Speaker 1: I want, I want to get you into How do

593
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 1: we get you to talk to a real therapist or something?

594
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 1: Because it would be dude. I just I just feel

595
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:35,480
Speaker 1: like if you if you were able to unlearn these

596
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:39,480
Speaker 1: these horrible things about yourself, I think you could you

597
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 1: could really turn it around and have a have a

598
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:43,320
Speaker 1: good life.

599
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:49,080
Speaker 6: But I agree with you, man, like agree with that

600
00:38:49,160 --> 00:39:01,480
Speaker 6: way about yourself, Jason, I'm listening.

601
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:06,760
Speaker 1: You. You agree with me. You you you have have

602
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 1: have the same modicum of optimism that that I that

603
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 1: I'm feeling.

604
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 2: No, but I'm listening. Mhm. Look, it's not that I'm

605
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:32,319
Speaker 2: not it's not it's not that I'm not optimistic, but

606
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:37,399
Speaker 2: like love I look man like it it's I want

607
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 2: to be optimistic. I I know that there's there's a

608
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 2: bright side out there, and I just feel out of

609
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:44,680
Speaker 2: touch with it, like I I don't know how to

610
00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 2: get back with it. Like I find myself like falling

611
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:52,400
Speaker 2: further and further into this like spiral of you know,

612
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:56,760
Speaker 2: losing things that I'm interested in, you know, like finding

613
00:39:56,880 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 2: joy in life, and and I know that the is

614
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 2: a way to overcome it, and I know therapy helps,

615
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 2: and I get that, man, I truly get like, like

616
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:10,840
Speaker 2: you know, real you know, psychotherapist or whatever. And I

617
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 2: find great enjoyment in talking to you, man, like I

618
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:18,239
Speaker 2: respect you. You're a good dude. Man, you have good intentions.

619
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:24,239
Speaker 1: And I just tell me, I'm on that spiral on

620
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:26,480
Speaker 1: fall losing touch with the things that give you joy

621
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 1: in life throughout your life, even even I mean, you

622
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 1: can go back to when you were like thirteen or anything, anything,

623
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:42,040
Speaker 1: anything at all? What has given you joy?

624
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:47,320
Speaker 2: The quest for knowledge? I was an astrophysics major in college,

625
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 2: and I wanted to be a professor of cosmology, and

626
00:40:53,880 --> 00:41:00,200
Speaker 2: I truly find joy in finding answers to things that

627
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:04,879
Speaker 2: other people don't have. Interesting, Like, it would be great

628
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 2: to be a teacher, right, but teaching doesn't pay well,

629
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 2: so you can't paign bills with that.

630
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:18,439
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. I've been doing this lately, if you're cool.

631
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 1: I don't know if you're cool with this, but I

632
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:22,400
Speaker 1: was gonna see if the chat have any questions of

633
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:28,080
Speaker 1: things that they wanted to ask you. Sure, Chat, do

634
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 1: you have any questions for Jason.

635
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:33,799
Speaker 2: I haven't looked at chat once, so.

636
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 1: Good, good, here, I'll uh, I'll feed you the questions. Well,

637
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:46,800
Speaker 1: someone said, Paul says, Jason is fucking smart. I wanted

638
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:49,440
Speaker 1: to do astrophysics, but it's just too hard.

639
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:57,320
Speaker 2: No, it's really not. It's actually not at hard. It's

640
00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:59,919
Speaker 2: just physics in the vacuum. It's not that bad.

641
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 1: Inglorious bastard wants to know if your therapist never talked

642
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,400
Speaker 1: to you about negative core beliefs.

643
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:15,799
Speaker 2: That's a broad question. I would say yes, but it

644
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:19,080
Speaker 2: doesn't address like the problem that I have is that

645
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 2: I ask very specific questions. And when when you talk

646
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:28,040
Speaker 2: to somebody who like all therapists need a therapist, right,

647
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 2: So when when you start talking to a therapist, it's

648
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:36,759
Speaker 2: when you ask them very specific questions. They find it

649
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 2: hard to answer those questions because it's hard to insert

650
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:44,360
Speaker 2: yourself into someone else's mind state. Over you know, X amount.

651
00:42:44,120 --> 00:43:03,080
Speaker 1: Of years, somebody asked what you play besides Minecraft.

652
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:09,040
Speaker 2: Seld A Singularity, I play also I Person of five Royale.

653
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know if that helps. Other than that,

654
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:19,080
Speaker 2: I just I watch YouTube video. I haven't watched a

655
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:23,080
Speaker 2: TV show or a movie in literally years because I

656
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 2: don't have the attention span for it.

657
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:26,800
Speaker 1: Who do you? Who do you watch on YouTube?

658
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 2: Mm hmm, let's see. There's there's the occasional mister Beast video.

659
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 2: And then I listened but not to slight you, but

660
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 2: I listened to you on Spotify as a podcast and yeah, yeah, yeah,

661
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,160
Speaker 2: So what I do is I listened to that. I

662
00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:56,600
Speaker 2: work two jobs, so I have my primary job and

663
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:58,440
Speaker 2: then like as soon as I get off work on

664
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:00,720
Speaker 2: my primary I'm go to work at like in the morning,

665
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:05,080
Speaker 2: and then when I get off work, I immediately go

666
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:07,920
Speaker 2: and I do door dash, and I listen to you

667
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 2: while I'm doing door dash. Because I drive a gigantic

668
00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 2: ass truck in the fourth largest city in America, it's

669
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:17,760
Speaker 2: hard to concentrate when you're doing that, So therapy Gecko

670
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:21,800
Speaker 2: isn't necessarily the thing to listen to. I would say

671
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:25,960
Speaker 2: I have a hard time even with Minecraft. Man, like

672
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:32,279
Speaker 2: I anything that is longer than twenty five minutes, I

673
00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:34,799
Speaker 2: have a hard time holding on to.

674
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:41,840
Speaker 1: Ipout O wait says, do you have any hobbies? Because

675
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 1: hobbies help the mind a lot.

676
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I struggle with that. It's one of the things

677
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,439
Speaker 2: that I talked to in my therapist about a lot

678
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 2: was that I have no hobbies. I have no interest

679
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:56,200
Speaker 2: or likes or friends or anything like. Literally like, I'm

680
00:44:56,200 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 2: just like, eh, just I know, man, I'm throwing a

681
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:04,400
Speaker 2: lot at you.

682
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:07,399
Speaker 1: Cow no no, no, no, no, no, don't be I don't

683
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:11,160
Speaker 1: want you to be. Sorry, Jason, I'm fucking thinking here,

684
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,680
Speaker 1: what would you somebody in the chat ask this, what

685
00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 1: would you say to somebody who you loved who was

686
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:20,080
Speaker 1: in a similar situation as you.

687
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 2: That's a damn good question. I would tell them to

688
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:30,440
Speaker 2: run as far as they can. But I'm also in

689
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:33,440
Speaker 2: a position of I'm also in a position of knowing,

690
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:37,160
Speaker 2: like how hard it is to run from something like that,

691
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:44,799
Speaker 2: Like what what is your capacity to hurt somebody? You

692
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:47,960
Speaker 2: know what I mean? Like what like what level of

693
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:52,200
Speaker 2: when you say take care of yourself, right, like like

694
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:55,480
Speaker 2: look out for yourself? Like what capacity of selfishness is

695
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:57,719
Speaker 2: involved in that? To the point that you have to

696
00:45:57,800 --> 00:45:59,480
Speaker 2: ignore someone else's suffering.

697
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 1: But you have to understand that you're not caught like

698
00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:09,440
Speaker 1: you're just you're You're Your perspective on this situation is

699
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:16,520
Speaker 1: warped by years and years and years and years of

700
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:21,280
Speaker 1: of of of what sound like an unfortunately very traumatic experience.

701
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:23,640
Speaker 2: I like the extra years you put on that.

702
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:30,879
Speaker 1: Now, sorry, this is why I'm not This is why,

703
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:33,480
Speaker 1: this is why you don't do unlicensed therapy on the

704
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:38,120
Speaker 1: fucking twitch. Fine, but dude, I just want you to

705
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:42,359
Speaker 1: know your perspective on this whole situation is warped, and

706
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:43,759
Speaker 1: I don't know what it's gonna I don't know what

707
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:47,840
Speaker 1: it's gonna take to unwarp it, because you're not you

708
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:54,120
Speaker 1: are not the cause of this woman suffering. Her she's

709
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:58,279
Speaker 1: forty two years old, her and her port And by

710
00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 1: the way, I want you to know something, you can

711
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:04,560
Speaker 1: still care. You can still care about this woman, even

712
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:08,200
Speaker 1: if she's been awful to you. You can still care

713
00:47:08,239 --> 00:47:13,440
Speaker 1: about her. You can still in your guts, in your heart,

714
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:17,040
Speaker 1: in your mind, unless you think it's it's healthier, want

715
00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:24,880
Speaker 1: her to succeed in life, but not at your expense,

716
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:32,040
Speaker 1: not constantly at your expense. And you know, I wish,

717
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:35,799
Speaker 1: I wish it was as easy as me telling you

718
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:36,880
Speaker 1: that I know it's not.

719
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:44,640
Speaker 2: I know what you're saying I mean, and it makes

720
00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:46,520
Speaker 2: it logically makes sense.

721
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:57,279
Speaker 1: Bim bam bop, says Jason. Come to the Netherlands and

722
00:47:57,320 --> 00:48:01,360
Speaker 1: smoke a joint with me. That sounds funk.

723
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:07,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, sounds like some good conversation. Do I do I

724
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:09,400
Speaker 2: need to go to another portal to get to the

725
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:10,399
Speaker 2: nether Lands or.

726
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:15,160
Speaker 1: You know, I never I never made the connection of Netherlands.

727
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:19,200
Speaker 1: And like the word nether meaning like an underworld, it's

728
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:27,120
Speaker 1: pretty good. Hm hmm, Jason, I'm gonna tell you this

729
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:33,239
Speaker 1: before we go. Yeah, here's the thing. Everybody listening to

730
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:35,399
Speaker 1: this right now and me.

731
00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 4: Are all.

732
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:44,960
Speaker 1: We We want you to succeed. We really do.

733
00:48:46,200 --> 00:49:01,000
Speaker 5: And me too, man, I want to succeed too.

734
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:06,400
Speaker 1: I wish I wish I could take the optimism I

735
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:09,239
Speaker 1: have you and I as I wish I could take

736
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 1: the optimism that I have for you and just like,

737
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:17,840
Speaker 1: you know, fucking blast it like fucking Goku into your

738
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 1: into your into your soul. But I don't know how

739
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:22,399
Speaker 1: to do that.

740
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 2: I mean you you painted your face green, dress up

741
00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:32,000
Speaker 2: as a get go. You took your time and talk

742
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:37,600
Speaker 2: to me. It's thank you, man, Like I appreciate that.

743
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:41,960
Speaker 2: Just it's been nice to just I don't know talk

744
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:45,479
Speaker 2: about it because I don't have any friends, I don't

745
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:52,480
Speaker 2: have any family really, so it's nice. And I'm fucking

746
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:55,000
Speaker 2: forty years old, you know what I mean. Like I'm

747
00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:57,240
Speaker 2: an old ass man, I'm close to desk.

748
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 1: It's nice to just say it, I guess, Jason. Is

749
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:07,560
Speaker 1: there anything else that you want to talk about or

750
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:09,359
Speaker 1: anything else you want to say to the people as

751
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:11,719
Speaker 1: the computer before we go to.

752
00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:16,480
Speaker 2: The people on the computer. Not really, man, Just you

753
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:19,160
Speaker 2: know this is this is the only one shot we have,

754
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:24,880
Speaker 2: and really it all depends on your perspective, so try

755
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:26,759
Speaker 2: try to make the best of it.

756
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:32,319
Speaker 1: I hope you listen to your own words, man, I

757
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:32,759
Speaker 1: really do.

758
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:37,719
Speaker 2: I hope so too. I appreciate that, bro.

759
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:45,240
Speaker 1: Have a good night, Jason. It's hurt a man, man

760
00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:50,200
Speaker 1: man man man man. That was really tough. That was

761
00:50:50,239 --> 00:50:55,799
Speaker 1: that was that was really really tough. I've I got

762
00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:58,880
Speaker 1: a ton of thoughts about this. I feel I feel

763
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:02,560
Speaker 1: bad because Jace Jason seemed like a great dude. He

764
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:06,200
Speaker 1: had great intentions. His dream in life was just a

765
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:12,520
Speaker 1: fucking chill by a fire with his homies. And he

766
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:18,200
Speaker 1: he He's like a fucking cool guy, you know, someone

767
00:51:18,239 --> 00:51:23,000
Speaker 1: you could be boys with, and just he just I

768
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:26,560
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm not a real therapist. I'm playing. I'm playing,

769
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:29,440
Speaker 1: I'm doing Fisher Price therapy here. But it sounded like

770
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:35,640
Speaker 1: he was just a descendant of a long line of

771
00:51:35,920 --> 00:51:44,919
Speaker 1: of bullshit. And I don't know. I don't fucking know, dude.

772
00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:48,840
Speaker 1: I'm I'm a I'm a I'm a gecko guy on

773
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:51,120
Speaker 1: the computer. I don't know what gets people out of

774
00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:53,840
Speaker 1: those situations or what changes people's minds. I don't know

775
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:57,759
Speaker 1: if it's therapy. I don't know if it's ayahuasca. I

776
00:51:57,800 --> 00:52:01,480
Speaker 1: don't know what it is. I don't I don't. I

777
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:07,960
Speaker 1: wish I did, and I wish that Jason had access

778
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:29,759
Speaker 1: to it, whatever it is. Mm hmmm, mm hmmm, I

779
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:32,120
Speaker 1: don't know. Talk to me in the comments of the

780
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 1: of this of the YouTube video, or on the or

781
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:40,240
Speaker 1: on the I think the Spotify has a whole uh

782
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:44,480
Speaker 1: what did you think of this episode thing? Talk talk

783
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:45,960
Speaker 1: to me in those things. I want to hear what

784
00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:48,920
Speaker 1: you guys think about this whole thing, because it's a

785
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:54,560
Speaker 1: really a really tough situation. I wish I wish I,

786
00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:55,920
Speaker 1: like I said, I wish there was something I could

787
00:52:55,960 --> 00:53:00,439
Speaker 1: implant into Jason's brain to turn him around on that.

788
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:07,400
Speaker 1: Thanks for calling, Jason, Thanks so much for sharing this

789
00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:10,680
Speaker 1: with us. Maybe somebody is in a similar situation and

790
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:16,359
Speaker 1: has listened to this and feels less uh alone and

791
00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:19,480
Speaker 1: uh call back in, Jason. I want to hear from you.

792
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 1: I want you to call me from your fucking van

793
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:28,840
Speaker 1: life bonfire where you have a desktop built in that

794
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:32,279
Speaker 1: you can play Minecraft on and you can start a

795
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:36,800
Speaker 1: big server and everyone can join and make a giant

796
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:43,640
Speaker 1: cock and balls. All right, Thank you, Jason, and.

797
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:46,960
Speaker 2: Goes on the line making your phone calls every night

798
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 2: every week, and goes to his teaching you aloud in

799
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:51,600
Speaker 2: the of your line.

800
00:53:53,280 --> 00:54:22,360
Speaker 1: An expert