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Speaker 1: When you eat.

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Speaker 2: It's not just talking about the food that you put

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Speaker 2: in your body, but the music that you listen to,

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Speaker 2: the books as you read, but more importantly, the words

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Speaker 2: that you say to yourself, because you feed yourself and

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Speaker 2: so if you feed yourself negative thoughts, then negative is

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Speaker 2: what ends up growing and manifesting.

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Speaker 3: Hey, everybody, Emily A body here.

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Speaker 4: You are listening to episode two hundred and seventeen of Hurdle,

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Speaker 4: a wellness focused podcast. Reconnect with everyone from your favorite

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Speaker 4: athletes to top experts and industry CEOs about their highest highs,

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Speaker 4: selfest moments, and.

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Speaker 3: Everything in between.

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Speaker 4: We all go through hurdles in life, and my goal

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Speaker 4: through these discussions is to empower you to better navigate

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Speaker 4: yours and move with intention so that you can stride

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Speaker 4: towards your own big potential. Of course, have some fun

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Speaker 4: along the way. Today, I'm so elated to bring you

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Speaker 4: my conversation with Rebecca Price. She is a yoga and

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Speaker 4: meditation coach, a Nike trainer, and honestly a ray of light.

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Speaker 4: We met a couple months back out in Los Angeles

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Speaker 4: as a part of Nike's fifty for Her event, and

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Speaker 4: I was so excited to be able to sit down

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Speaker 4: with her recently here in New York when she was

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Speaker 4: out visiting. For today's episode. We chat all about Rebecca's

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Speaker 4: own wellness journey, how she got into both practicing and

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Speaker 4: teaching both modalities, and the impact that it's had on

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Speaker 4: her life. She also opens up about what it was

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Speaker 4: like for her to navigate postpartum depression as well as

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Speaker 4: a difficult health diagnosis that completely reshaped her outlook on

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Speaker 4: life and her practice.

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Speaker 3: We also have a really.

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Speaker 4: Beautiful discussion on how to feel more at home in

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Speaker 4: your body, having grace with yourself, having compassion with yourself,

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Speaker 4: and Rebecca offers up some really useful tips on kind

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Speaker 4: of how to get to that place for those that

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Speaker 4: struggle with negative self talk, and let's be real, that's

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Speaker 4: something that we all.

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Speaker 3: Struggle with from time to time.

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Speaker 4: Again, love this conbo, Rebecca, like I said, is a

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Speaker 4: light and I know you're gonna love it too. Make

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Speaker 4: sure you're following along with the show over on social

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Speaker 4: It's over at Hurdle Podcast.

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Speaker 3: I am over.

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Speaker 4: At Emily a Body And with that, let's get to Hurdling.

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Speaker 3: Today.

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Speaker 4: I am sitting down with Rebecca Price. She is a

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Speaker 4: Nike trainer, a meditation and yoga expert.

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Speaker 3: How are you doing today?

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Speaker 2: I'm doing fine. And how about yourself?

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, your voice is so soothing.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 4: I'm totally going to get messages after this and people

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Speaker 4: are gonna be like, can you guys just talk to

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Speaker 4: us all day?

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Speaker 3: Yes? Are you used to that compliment?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Actually I'm used to it. Especially when I do

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Speaker 2: my meditations. I get a lot of people who are like,

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Speaker 2: I love the sound of your voice. And there's this

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Speaker 2: one woman, her name is Susan. I used to do

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Speaker 2: these meditations at the beginning of the pandemic just to

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Speaker 2: help people like ease, and she's like, I heard you.

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Speaker 2: I was in my kitchen and I stopped what I

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Speaker 2: was doing and I sat on my floor and she like,

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Speaker 2: She's like, I looked you up on Facebook. I looked

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Speaker 2: you up on Instagram, Like she started following me. She's

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Speaker 2: like the voice for her was what did it and

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Speaker 2: made her feel like at peace and calm. So I

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Speaker 2: get it a lot. My kids don't like it because

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Speaker 2: they're like, you're trying to put us asleep, right, But.

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Speaker 3: I get that a lot. We love Susan.

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Speaker 4: Yes, yes, yes, well you are visiting town, and we

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Speaker 4: met back in Los Angeles when Nike did the fifty

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Speaker 4: for her, the celebration of the fiftieth year of the company.

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Speaker 4: And it's just so great for us to be able

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Speaker 4: to connect here. And I had the opportunity to sit

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Speaker 4: down and listen to you speak and do a meditation

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Speaker 4: with you, and was so enamored not just by your voice,

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Speaker 4: but by your demeanor and your presence. So I'd love

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Speaker 4: if you could just share a little bit of that

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Speaker 4: story with the Hurdlers and talk to us about how

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Speaker 4: you got into this work.

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Speaker 2: The Colesnalst version of this story is about twenty two

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Speaker 2: years ago. I was pregnant with my first child. I

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Speaker 2: was experiencing a lot of anxiety around like this whole

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Speaker 2: entire space of entering.

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Speaker 1: Motherhood and what did that mean.

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Speaker 2: And I was also like in university and like I

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Speaker 2: had moved to a new city to like an education,

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Speaker 2: not get pregnant. So there's like a whole bunch of

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Speaker 2: variables that were at place. And I thought about practicing

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Speaker 2: and doing yoga, like prenatal yoga as a way to

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Speaker 2: kind of like help me cope. I had like this

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Speaker 2: whole setup in my head where I was gonna play

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Speaker 2: like Bob Marley doing like labor and delivery and have

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Speaker 2: incense burning.

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Speaker 1: It was like this whole vibe.

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Speaker 2: Unfortunately, I had a lot of complications and it didn't

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Speaker 2: end up that way. And I also found out while

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Speaker 2: giving birth to him that I had fibrants because I hamorrhaged,

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Speaker 2: and so it was a very precarious time for me

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Speaker 2: and being in that state. And what I ended up

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Speaker 2: anchoring into a lot was like meditation, like the visual pieces,

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Speaker 2: the mantras, just to be able to kind of like

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Speaker 2: help me get over onto the other side. And then

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Speaker 2: I also had postpartum depression, So meditation and yoga as

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Speaker 2: a practice learning how to anchor back into my body

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Speaker 2: was something that I started to do and then actually

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Speaker 2: enjoyed it, and so I decided to kind of like

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Speaker 2: go more further and deeper into that as a practice.

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Speaker 2: And what ended up happening was like would go to

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Speaker 2: yoga studio spaces and I would be like the only

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Speaker 2: women of color a lot of the time in those spaces.

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Speaker 2: And my background is in community development, so I would

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Speaker 2: work in a lot of marginalized communities in Toronto and

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Speaker 2: specifically and in Jamaica too as well. I just noticed

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Speaker 2: that in community development we talk a lot about the

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Speaker 2: social determinants of health, like what makes people feel like

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Speaker 2: they belong, what makes people feel like all those things

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Speaker 2: kind of add to one's ability to be well, and

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Speaker 2: I didn't necessarily see that in the spaces that I

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Speaker 2: was practicing in, and so then I was just like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I was working in a community. I had a bunch

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Speaker 2: of kids. I started teaching them kids yoga just to

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Speaker 2: be able to get more community partners to come in.

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Speaker 2: So I was like, oh, we have a yoga program.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I was the one teaching it. And the

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Speaker 2: parents started coming to me and being like, oh, like,

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Speaker 2: what are you doing with my child? And I was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm teaching them yoga?

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Speaker 1: Is that okay?

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Speaker 2: And then they were like whatever you're doing, can you

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Speaker 2: teach me that? And I was like, oh, okay, so

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Speaker 2: this is a thing. And so I started offering like

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Speaker 2: free programming for the parents because the parents were noticing

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Speaker 2: that their kids were not getting in trouble as much.

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Speaker 2: I taught them like count to ten before you react,

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Speaker 2: like all these kinds of things, and so it kind

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Speaker 2: of morphed into like this free little community program that

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Speaker 2: I was offering to like someone reaching out to me

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Speaker 2: and offering me a scholarship for teacher training, and I

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Speaker 2: was like, oh, so this is like a real thing now.

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Speaker 2: And I went and got certified, and I specifically came

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Speaker 2: back to the same community that I started in and

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Speaker 2: just offered like free yoga, and it kind of like

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Speaker 2: blossomed into like creating the community spaces where like people

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Speaker 2: of color could.

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Speaker 1: Come and practice.

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Speaker 2: And then fast forward ten years later, I just happened

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Speaker 2: to be you know, everybody always asked me about my

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Speaker 2: journey to Nike and all that kind of stuff, Like

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Speaker 2: I just feel like, you know, when the universe places

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Speaker 2: things on your path and it's an alignment for you,

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Speaker 2: it just naturally happens. And you know, I feel that

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Speaker 2: like me finding yoga at that time as a practice

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Speaker 2: in meditation at that time is a practice fell in

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Speaker 2: alignment with what I was in need of. And then

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Speaker 2: me creating initiatives and programs and offerings for people to

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Speaker 2: be able to pour into themselves and to take care

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Speaker 2: of themselves, and to kind of also normalize this ideal

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Speaker 2: of like like creating communities where people felt like they belonged,

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Speaker 2: especially in places where like you're othered a lot, and

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Speaker 2: what does that mean to be able to just kind

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Speaker 2: of like be in a space where you could just

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Speaker 2: like I used to tell people like even if you

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Speaker 2: just did shavasna and you did nothing else, like that's

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Speaker 2: your practice, right, And so like my journey to Nike

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Speaker 2: was just like someone came and they took one of

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Speaker 2: my classes and they really liked it. And then you know,

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Speaker 2: next thing you know, I'm doing like a shootout in

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Speaker 2: LA and talking to some really cool people, and I

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Speaker 2: ended up having an opportunity to kind of like audition

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Speaker 2: or like do some train or audition. Unfortunately, at that time,

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Speaker 2: I had fibroids and I was like a tumor, like

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Speaker 2: a tumor that turned into cancer on my uterus. So

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Speaker 2: I didn't get a chance to kind of like fulfill

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Speaker 2: that piece. But then Nike came back to me. They're like, hey,

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Speaker 2: we really like what you're about, we really like what

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Speaker 2: you stand for. When you're ready, let us know. So

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Speaker 2: I just thought with the personal stuff that I needed

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Speaker 2: to deal with, and then fast forward, now I'm like

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Speaker 2: teaching Niki, teaching yoga on the app, still in community

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Speaker 2: offering programs and classes and doing more meditations because I

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Speaker 2: feel like that's what a lot of people need and

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Speaker 2: it's an easy, accessible way for you to anchor back

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Speaker 2: into your body. And just also like you know, meditation,

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Speaker 2: you can do affirmations like all those kinds of things.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, that's like the cools note version of like

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Speaker 2: how I kind of like ended up here.

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Speaker 3: Sitting with me in the studio. Firstly, thanks for sharing that.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 4: Secondly, whenever someone openly shares that they've gone through about

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Speaker 4: of depression, I always like to ask what that looked

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Speaker 4: like for you, because hearing about it in someone's words,

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Speaker 4: someone's own words, can be really helpful for anyone who

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Speaker 4: may be experiencing something and they're wondering if they may

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Speaker 4: be navigating depression or symptoms like that.

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Speaker 3: So would you mind sharing a little bit about your experience?

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Speaker 1: Sure for me.

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Speaker 2: So some people would say I'm a type of personality

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Speaker 2: I bake to differ, I'm fluid, but I was, really,

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Speaker 2: like I said, like, I had this ideal in my

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Speaker 2: head of what it was supposed to be like to

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Speaker 2: become a mother, right, And I had this idea of

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Speaker 2: like what it was supposed to feel like, you know,

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Speaker 2: I read every book, I watched every show like you

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Speaker 2: name it. I did it because I was like determined

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Speaker 2: to be like prepared and the best. Unfortunately, when I

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Speaker 2: had my son, like I just didn't feel that connection

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Speaker 2: and I felt really sad all the time. I felt

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Speaker 2: really alone. I felt really isolated. And then there's also

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Speaker 2: like a cultural stigma, like my background is Jamaican, a Dominican,

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Speaker 2: and like culturally speaking, like depression wasn't something that you

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Speaker 2: openly talk about.

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Speaker 1: It was something that like like we just don't.

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Speaker 2: Get that, like you know, you gotta be strong, and like,

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Speaker 2: you know, I grew up with too many white people

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Speaker 2: that so people would always say to me, and I'm like, no,

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Speaker 2: there's something wrong. There's like a disconnect. Like I was

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Speaker 2: having issues like even just trying to like feel connected

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Speaker 2: to holding my son, I would break down in tears

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Speaker 2: all the time, and I just wasn't. I didn't feel

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Speaker 2: like myself, if that makes sense, Like I just didn't

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Speaker 2: like anybody who knows me knows that I'm like like

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Speaker 2: always happy and smiling and just like you've got this,

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Speaker 2: we can do this. And I was just like I'm

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Speaker 2: not feeling it today. I didn't want to like get

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Speaker 2: up and take a shower, I didn't feel like eating.

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Speaker 2: It was just like I just felt really disconnected. And

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Speaker 2: my mother, who happened to be a nurse, I went

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Speaker 2: to her and I was like, hey, like I really

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Speaker 2: feel like something's up, and she was just like, well,

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Speaker 2: maybe you're depressed. And I'm like, can I get depressed?

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Speaker 2: I've never heard that word before. She's like, well, that happens.

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Speaker 2: And so I actually went to a doctor and they

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Speaker 2: diagnosed me with postpartum depression. I ended up going to

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Speaker 2: therapy and I used to do like group therapy sessions,

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Speaker 2: and then I slowly started to feel myself coming back.

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Speaker 2: And I can always recognize, like that's not to say

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Speaker 2: like I've never been depressed ever since, because I have,

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Speaker 2: but I also can tell like when I'm feeling myself

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Speaker 2: falling down that rabbit hole, like feeling myself be a

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Speaker 2: little bit disconnected, feeling myself kind of like sinking into

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Speaker 2: this dark space where I just don't feel or have

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Speaker 2: the energy to like show up and be myself. And

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Speaker 2: that is something that like I've I've talked openly about

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Speaker 2: just because especially like culturally there's a lot of stigma.

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Speaker 2: And I feel like now the conversations around mental health

249
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Speaker 2: and anxiety and all those things have become a lot

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Speaker 2: more normalized, but back then it was a lot and

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Speaker 2: I faced a lot of stigma community wise in terms

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Speaker 2: of just being open about like, hey, I'm having this issue,

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Speaker 2: I'm struggling with that, and like it's not a bad thing,

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Speaker 2: but people made me feel like it was a bad

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Speaker 2: So it was like this place of like feeling alone

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Speaker 2: and isolated and not being able to talk about it

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Speaker 2: because no one understood it. But I knew that something

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Speaker 2: was wrong, Like I just wasn't myself, Like I just

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Speaker 2: was like not and it has nothing to do with

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Speaker 2: like gaslighting myself through life and being like I'm happy,

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Speaker 2: go lucky all the time. It just felt like dark

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Speaker 2: and heavy, and I was never used to feeling dark

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Speaker 2: and heavy in my body and how that felt in

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Speaker 2: my body, and like again just like not having the

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Speaker 2: energy or just not feeling connected enough to do anything.

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Speaker 2: Just it was just like a really dark time for me,

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Speaker 2: which I'm thankful for because that has helped me even

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Speaker 2: as a teacher and facilitating like conversations and even practices

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Speaker 2: with people to be able to like legitimize like no,

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Speaker 2: it's okay, You're allowed to feel that way.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, yeah, and you mentioned occasionally feeling that

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Speaker 4: way even still, what do you do when that creeps in?

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Speaker 3: Now?

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Speaker 2: So I really am a big firm believer of somatic practices.

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Speaker 2: So somatic just like creating movement. I always will say,

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Speaker 2: like the energy is getting stuck in my body, can

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Speaker 2: feel it. So now what I do is I do

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Speaker 2: simple things. I go for walks. Walks really help just

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Speaker 2: getting me moving in my mind moving. Obviously, I practice yoga,

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Speaker 2: and I always like to tell people like some of

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Speaker 2: my best practices or happen when I'm on the mat

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Speaker 2: and I'm just like in my element of just like hey,

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Speaker 2: like even if it's just breathing through stuff, breathwork has

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Speaker 2: been something that's been able to help me anchor through

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Speaker 2: certain things, especially like during the pandemic, Like I think

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Speaker 2: everybody's anxiety was on ten, So breathwork was something I

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Speaker 2: was just like, oh, I need to breathe, and people

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Speaker 2: could hear me openly sign and like what's up with you?

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'm just breathing through this thing called

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Speaker 2: life right now.

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Speaker 1: Because you know.

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Speaker 2: So, breath work has been something that I've anchored into

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Speaker 2: a lot. And then I just do simple things like

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Speaker 2: putting on some music, dancing. I try to think of

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Speaker 2: like really simple and accessible ways to be able to

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Speaker 2: kind of like move through that. And then if worst case,

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Speaker 2: I feel like I'm in a really dark space, I

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Speaker 2: have a therapist. I'm all for therapy, so I have

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Speaker 2: a therapist. And then also therapy also looks like just

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Speaker 2: calling up your girls and just being like, Hey, I'm

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Speaker 2: just in a space right now. Can you come over?

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Speaker 2: Can I come over? Can we go for a walk

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Speaker 2: or do something? So, yeah, those are like the key

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Speaker 2: ones that I usually anchor into.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And that vulnerability is commendable and also difficult, Like

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Speaker 4: it can be both, right, Like, vulnerability can be important

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Speaker 4: and hard.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So for you.

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Speaker 4: To start by recognizing how you feel and then making

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Speaker 4: the conscious choice to do something about that, that's admirable

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Speaker 4: and that is a great place to start.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I really also appreciated you sharing the hurdle that you

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Speaker 4: had to overcome when it came to your health and

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Speaker 4: also at the crossroads of this big opportunity for you

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Speaker 4: with Nike. Can you talk a little bit about how

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Speaker 4: that played out for you.

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Speaker 2: The funny thing was, I did I did my tape.

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Speaker 2: So when I found out that I actually was sick,

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Speaker 2: and you know, it wasn't something I openly talked to

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Speaker 2: everybody about. Was like afterwards when I was all said

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Speaker 2: and done. But like, when I found out that I

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Speaker 2: was sick, it was just I found out two days

325
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Speaker 2: before I flew out to La to do my yoga

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Speaker 2: when Nike was rebranding their yoga and I flew up.

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Speaker 2: I found out two days before, and I was just like, man,

328
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Speaker 2: And then I was just like And they found the

329
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:57,160
Speaker 2: tumor was like ten centimeters large on the back of

330
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Speaker 2: my uterus, And so part of me felt vindicated because

331
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Speaker 2: for a whole year I had been struggling with this

332
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Speaker 2: pain and I'd go to the hospital and they'd be like,

333
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Speaker 2: it's all in your head. I'm like, this is not

334
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,760
Speaker 2: all in my head. I feel like my periods are

335
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:13,520
Speaker 2: very abnormal. This is like not normal for me. So like,

336
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:18,240
Speaker 2: y'all need to get it together. And you know, black

337
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,159
Speaker 2: women have a lot of issues when it comes to

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Speaker 2: navigating the health industrial complex system. So you know, I'm

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Speaker 2: privileged enough to be able to say that I'm in

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Speaker 2: a position to be able to advocate for myself. And

341
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,240
Speaker 2: so I kept on pushing and pushing, and eventually I

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00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,840
Speaker 2: found out what it was because I were like, it's

343
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Speaker 2: all in your head. I'm like, it's not like I

344
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:38,720
Speaker 2: don't think I want to spend a Friday night sitting

345
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Speaker 2: in an emergency for three hours.

346
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Speaker 1: Like, I got way better things to do with my time.

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Speaker 2: So I found out a couple of days before I

348
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:45,600
Speaker 2: went to LA, and a part of me was just like,

349
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Speaker 2: do I crawl in a corner and like curl up

350
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Speaker 2: into a ball, which you know would have set me

351
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Speaker 2: into a really bad depression, or do I take this

352
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Speaker 2: really cool opportunity and go to LA and make the

353
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Speaker 2: best of it because I just don't know what my

354
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,120
Speaker 2: next steps are going to be, Like when I come back,

355
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:00,919
Speaker 2: I'm going to have a whole bunch of decisions to

356
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,640
Speaker 2: make and stuff like that. I'm like, it's a free

357
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:07,520
Speaker 2: trip to LA and I'd never been. And so I

358
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:10,440
Speaker 2: like went to LA and met some, like I said,

359
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:14,720
Speaker 2: amazing people on set who were really super supportive. And

360
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,159
Speaker 2: then when I came back, they had offered me to

361
00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:22,159
Speaker 2: like actually like audition to be a teacher, a trainer,

362
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,480
Speaker 2: and I was like, okay, cool. I thought at that time, like,

363
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,480
Speaker 2: you know, because they said, like I wouldn't find out

364
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,919
Speaker 2: until January. So I was like, I've got time, Like

365
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,280
Speaker 2: I have time to like eventually hopefully get the surgery.

366
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:38,360
Speaker 2: Da da da da, Fast forward, COVID happened. They're like you.

367
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:43,240
Speaker 2: I had opted to have a hysterectomy just because I

368
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:47,640
Speaker 2: felt it was the best decision for me. I struggled

369
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:51,800
Speaker 2: to make that decision because a lot of you know,

370
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,760
Speaker 2: we store a lot of energy in our womb space.

371
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Speaker 2: The idem concept of how we show up as women

372
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Speaker 2: sometimes is intrinstically tied to that space to well, and

373
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Speaker 2: so you know, that was something that I struggled with.

374
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Speaker 2: But I felt that was the best decision given the

375
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:10,240
Speaker 2: circumstances and the options that I had in front of

376
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:13,800
Speaker 2: me with regards to like the possibility of cancer coming back.

377
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,320
Speaker 2: My mother had breast cancer and it was mestistic and

378
00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:21,520
Speaker 2: eventually she passed away of like brain cancer. So I

379
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,840
Speaker 2: had that trauma of living through taking care of my

380
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:26,199
Speaker 2: mother and seeing the things that she went through. And

381
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,240
Speaker 2: I was very adamant from a very young age that

382
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Speaker 2: if I ever got sick like that.

383
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,399
Speaker 1: I was just going to be like, chamawhaw, do.

384
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,679
Speaker 2: What you got to do, take it out, like, because

385
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:37,080
Speaker 2: I've seen what that does. Especially being a young child

386
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:41,320
Speaker 2: and caregiver to your adult parent is very hard. And

387
00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:44,639
Speaker 2: so I had i'd made that decision, and so I

388
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:49,080
Speaker 2: uh waited and waited and waited, and then my doctor

389
00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:50,840
Speaker 2: called me one day. She's like, there's like this window

390
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,439
Speaker 2: we got like two days. She's like, you can go in,

391
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,520
Speaker 2: you can have the surgery and be out. You're like

392
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,560
Speaker 2: really healthy, it's going to be all good, like all

393
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:02,000
Speaker 2: that kind of stuff. And I went and did it.

394
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,560
Speaker 2: And the same day I had my surgery is the

395
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:05,560
Speaker 2: same day Nike called me.

396
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:08,440
Speaker 3: Was it in January?

397
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:08,960
Speaker 1: No?

398
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,160
Speaker 2: It was, So I had to wait. So I went

399
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:15,520
Speaker 2: to LA in November. I ended up getting everything confirmed

400
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:19,320
Speaker 2: in February. COVID happens like two weeks later. After all that,

401
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:23,160
Speaker 2: everything shut down. I didn't get my surgery until September

402
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:23,680
Speaker 2: twenty eighth.

403
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:24,280
Speaker 3: Wow.

404
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:27,119
Speaker 2: So I had to like sit through all that and

405
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,439
Speaker 2: still try to like navigate and show up and be

406
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:31,879
Speaker 2: all the different people that I am for many different people.

407
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,919
Speaker 2: And so when she called me, she's like this is

408
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:36,440
Speaker 2: I think they're going to come out of a lockdown.

409
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,359
Speaker 2: We have this little bit of a window. I was like,

410
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,520
Speaker 2: I'll take it, and like I had my surgery on

411
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,760
Speaker 2: the twenty eighth, Nike he called me like that day.

412
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:49,280
Speaker 1: They were like, are you able to like we want

413
00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:50,720
Speaker 1: to like do some stuff.

414
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,480
Speaker 2: And I was like like, so what happened was like

415
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:54,639
Speaker 2: you know what I mean because in my head they

416
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 2: said January. Yeah, right, So I saw I had all

417
00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:00,119
Speaker 2: this time to be like I could go have the

418
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:04,080
Speaker 2: surgery get better. And I was really extra with it too,

419
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:06,840
Speaker 2: because prior to my surgery, like I did like you know,

420
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 2: we're content creators, so like all these photo shoots, so

421
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,119
Speaker 2: like I would be like in my head, I was like,

422
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,119
Speaker 2: I'm gonna post for my bed and yeah, no one

423
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 2: would know that I was sick like that in my head,

424
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,240
Speaker 2: I was like it was something that I kept really private.

425
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:23,560
Speaker 2: I just didn't also know how to talk about it, yeah,

426
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,840
Speaker 2: because it was a very emotional time for me, and

427
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,720
Speaker 2: so I felt like okay, like if I came up

428
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:32,480
Speaker 2: with this really cool plan and then like he's like, oh,

429
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,639
Speaker 2: like we want you to come in and I was like, oh, shoot,

430
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,439
Speaker 2: I can't and they're like why and I was like oh,

431
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,200
Speaker 2: and I was very honest with them. They're like, oh

432
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 2: my gosh, like take care of yourself and when you're ready,

433
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:46,879
Speaker 2: like let us know. And then I had my surgery,

434
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 2: and unfortunately I had complications. My stitches kept on popping,

435
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 2: and so I had to keep going back into the

436
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 2: hospital and extending my stays longer because I would I

437
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:04,679
Speaker 2: was literally Russian three times for emergency surgery because I

438
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,159
Speaker 2: was like internally bleeding. It was just really not a

439
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:10,199
Speaker 2: fun time. And I'm very happy and blessed to be

440
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:13,399
Speaker 2: here because I also know what it's like to kind

441
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 2: of like be on the other side where you're like

442
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:18,439
Speaker 2: I might not make it. I got a phone call

443
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:20,879
Speaker 2: from Nike. They were like, Okay, we know that you

444
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:23,360
Speaker 2: can't teach yoga right now, but can you do a meditation.

445
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, on zoom, of course, that's like

446
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 2: the easiest thing because it didn't require me to do anything.

447
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:30,439
Speaker 2: Because I was literally put on bed rest for like

448
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 2: six months. I wasn't allowed to do anything, no exercise

449
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 2: because they just didn't know why my stitches were popping.

450
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,920
Speaker 2: And I think I was in a place where again

451
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:42,000
Speaker 2: my mental health was like I was afraid to cough,

452
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:43,399
Speaker 2: I was afraid to sneeze, I was afraid to go

453
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:44,760
Speaker 2: to watch And I was like to my friends, don't

454
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:46,919
Speaker 2: make me laugh because I just don't know why my

455
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 2: stitches kept on popping.

456
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:48,640
Speaker 1: They just did.

457
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,000
Speaker 2: And you know, the doctor was just like, hey, this

458
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 2: is the last time we did all we could do

459
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 2: after this, like you know, and I was like, I understand.

460
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:58,960
Speaker 2: They offered me an opportunity to do a meditation. I

461
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,280
Speaker 2: was like, okay, I could do that. That's not hard

462
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:03,440
Speaker 2: and just required me to sit. And so I did

463
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 2: a meditation and then I get kept on called back

464
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,920
Speaker 2: to do more meditations. Then it kind of just unfolded

465
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,240
Speaker 2: from there and then they're like, Okay, when you feel

466
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,359
Speaker 2: like you're ready in a position to come back and teach,

467
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 2: we'd like to invite you back to like doing some training.

468
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 2: And I was like okay, cool. And then I did

469
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 2: that last year. Last year I filmed for the app.

470
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,359
Speaker 2: So it was like a whole like full circle, like

471
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:31,560
Speaker 2: a year and but almost two years later since the

472
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,920
Speaker 2: initial interaction with them to the moment where I was like, Okay,

473
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm healthy enough. I feel like I

474
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:42,160
Speaker 2: feel secure enough in my body and to show up

475
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 2: as what my body was at that time. You know,

476
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 2: you know, I'm not like a size too, and like,

477
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 2: you know, I think that you were in wellness. You know,

478
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,359
Speaker 2: there's like this idea of what wellness is supposed to

479
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:56,960
Speaker 2: look like and what a yoga instructor is supposed to

480
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 2: look like. So like, you know, I also had to

481
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:02,120
Speaker 2: kind of like that hurdle of like I don't look

482
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,879
Speaker 2: like your typical yogi person and I have all this

483
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 2: like luggage or bags, as Eric Aboudoo would say, like

484
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,399
Speaker 2: with me, like I'm carrying all this luggage like you

485
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,560
Speaker 2: know what I mean, and showing up on set and like,

486
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:15,920
Speaker 2: you know, what does this mean for me? But then

487
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 2: like how important is it for me to like hold

488
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 2: space for myself? And then you know, my whole entire

489
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,119
Speaker 2: ethos of what I was all about was like seeing

490
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 2: yourself being reflected. And you know, when one of the

491
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,119
Speaker 2: directors on set, Greg he was just like, hey, my

492
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:32,239
Speaker 2: mom's gonna do yoga now because of you, because she's

493
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,159
Speaker 2: like she can see yourself. And I was like, okay,

494
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,639
Speaker 2: like you know, it's not a bad space to be in.

495
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 2: At the end of the day and then now I'm

496
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:44,119
Speaker 2: here teaching classes for them, and and I'm really thankful

497
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:45,360
Speaker 2: and blessed for that opportunity.

498
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:45,879
Speaker 3: How are you.

499
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 1: Feeling now, I'm great.

500
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 2: I am also like so blessed to be able to

501
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 2: you know, make the connections and have the networks that

502
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 2: we have. So I just had some amazing once I

503
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,040
Speaker 2: was transparent to like my friend's circle, well, to be

504
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:02,680
Speaker 2: able to be like this is what I've gone through,

505
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 2: Like I've had like you know, my friend Navice, she

506
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:08,120
Speaker 2: does Ariya Veda. She was just like sending me stuff.

507
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,919
Speaker 2: And I have like some really great friends who just

508
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,360
Speaker 2: showed up for me and helped me through this process.

509
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:16,440
Speaker 2: And I had a really good pelvic floor specialist, which

510
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:20,960
Speaker 2: thank god, because I just had to relearn my body right.

511
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 2: And then also like there's this empty space too, right,

512
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:27,119
Speaker 2: So what does that mean to like hold space for

513
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 2: myself and move my body in this new transitionary period?

514
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 2: And you know that comes with like you know, I

515
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 2: had a hysterectomy. That means I'm like pre metopausal, like

516
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,399
Speaker 2: comes with a whole bunch of things that I didn't

517
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:41,119
Speaker 2: necessarily think that I was going to experience. But I

518
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 2: am and I'm navigating through them. I appreciate when people

519
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 2: say what hot flashes feel like I totally.

520
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 1: Know that now.

521
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,080
Speaker 2: Like I'm just in a space of relearning to love

522
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:54,359
Speaker 2: my body, yeah, and relearning to appreciate my body just

523
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 2: like sit back and be like, sometimes we don't realize

524
00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 2: just the amount of work like our body goes through

525
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 2: and how much they support, like our body supports us.

526
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 2: Like I feel like sometimes we take that for granted,

527
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,920
Speaker 2: and like maybe it took me being humbled and like,

528
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,199
Speaker 2: you know, like having these moments where I was like,

529
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,360
Speaker 2: oh my god, I literally might not make it out

530
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 2: of this like operating room, right, like literally like seeing

531
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 2: your life like you know when you see the movies

532
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 2: and like they see the light, your life flashes before

533
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:23,120
Speaker 2: your eyes. Like it literally felt like that in slow motion, right.

534
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:24,919
Speaker 2: And then so when I came back out of that,

535
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I'm in this position, I have, like,

536
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,199
Speaker 2: you know, a new lease on life, Like how am

537
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:32,479
Speaker 2: I going to show up for myself better?

538
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 1: Right?

539
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,919
Speaker 2: Because I also believe that part of the reason why

540
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 2: I was sick was because I was probably in a

541
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 2: very unhealthy relationship and I was also not holding space

542
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:48,200
Speaker 2: for myself the ways that I needed to hold space

543
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:52,120
Speaker 2: for myself. And so now like I appreciate this opportunity

544
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 2: to like love on me a lot differently. And I

545
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,240
Speaker 2: also appreciate the fact that, like my body has been

546
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 2: through so much, the journey still continues, and I've had

547
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:05,439
Speaker 2: to learn to have like a different conversation with my body.

548
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,639
Speaker 2: I went from like having like a really great, you know,

549
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 2: Vinanza practice to like I can't do certain things right

550
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:16,080
Speaker 2: or it's taking me longer. Right, Like in my head,

551
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,880
Speaker 2: I was supposed to be down for like eight weeks,

552
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:22,879
Speaker 2: ten weeks tops, because I was healthy and you know,

553
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,080
Speaker 2: to be on bed rest and not move your body

554
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 2: for six months, and then I gained a whole bunch

555
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:28,879
Speaker 2: of weight and I had to do this and I

556
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 2: had to like I had to like really like sit

557
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,480
Speaker 2: with myself and be like, who and how am I

558
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 2: showing up for myself?

559
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 1: Right?

560
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 2: Who is who is this person you want to show

561
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:38,919
Speaker 2: up for? Are you're showing up for everybody else? And

562
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,400
Speaker 2: like then also have the responsibility of being like a mother,

563
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:44,879
Speaker 2: like friend, like I have all these other responsibilities. I

564
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 2: was just like, what kind of things am I teaching?

565
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 2: Especially my children? How do I normalize conversations about like

566
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 2: how do I speak to myself in a way that

567
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,920
Speaker 2: is loving and nurturing and nourishing. And I have to

568
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,240
Speaker 2: learn how to do that because like my body isn't

569
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:01,919
Speaker 2: the same as it used to be, it never will be,

570
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:05,240
Speaker 2: and I'm okay with that. And I also help space

571
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,879
Speaker 2: to grieve for the fact that I don't have a womb,

572
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:09,959
Speaker 2: I'll never be able to have more children and like

573
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 2: all what that means. And I held space for that,

574
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:17,120
Speaker 2: but I also have health space for welcoming in whatever

575
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:21,440
Speaker 2: opportunities me and my body are going to be receiving.

576
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 2: And so it's been a very interesting journey that's been

577
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,360
Speaker 2: like really rooted in a lot of self compassion, being

578
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,399
Speaker 2: in wellness. We talk about all these things, but now

579
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,360
Speaker 2: it like really forced me to like live the walk.

580
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 1: That I talk.

581
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 4: Taking a break from today's episode to talk to you

582
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 4: about my sponsor at inside Tracker.

583
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 3: Now, when you do what you love, like running.

584
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:54,360
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585
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,240
Speaker 4: for life and inside Tracker can help.

586
00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 3: Inside Tracker was founded in two.

587
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 4: Thousand and nine by leading scientists in aging, genetics and biometrics.

588
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:08,479
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589
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 4: to provide you with a clear picture of what's going

590
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:16,400
Speaker 4: on inside you and then offer you science backed recommendations

591
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:21,960
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592
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 4: for me. I just did I think this was my

593
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:29,480
Speaker 4: third ultimate panel, and especially at the beginning of a

594
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 4: marathon training cycle, it is so helpful for me to

595
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:36,920
Speaker 4: really home in on the areas where I may be

596
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 4: a little bit deficient. Like many women, I am a

597
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 4: little low in iron. My fare en levels are a

598
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:46,840
Speaker 4: little low, and so with the data from my inside

599
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 4: Tracker test, I now am monitoring this and making smart

600
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:56,240
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601
00:29:56,400 --> 00:30:01,120
Speaker 4: best and give my body what it really needs. Of course,

602
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:05,400
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603
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604
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605
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606
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607
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608
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610
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:37,040
Speaker 4: slash Hurdle Live the Walk that I talk while you're

611
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 4: easily transitioning us into the conversation that I want to

612
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 4: have with you surrounding the idea of embracing our bodies

613
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 4: as our homes, something that does take a fair amount

614
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 4: of that grace and self compassion. I know it's something

615
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 4: that you've spoken about before, both the meditation and on

616
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 4: your social platform. What does it mean to properly treat

617
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:04,520
Speaker 4: your body as your home?

618
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:11,239
Speaker 2: I think it's about learning how to just show up

619
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:15,840
Speaker 2: for yourself, right. I don't necessarily feel that we're taught

620
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,760
Speaker 2: the ways in which we could honor ourselves and show

621
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 2: up for ourselves. I think it's very easy for us,

622
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 2: and I think especially as women, we're like socially conditioned

623
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 2: and brought up to be able to show up and

624
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:33,080
Speaker 2: be there for others, but not necessarily taught to show

625
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 2: up and be there for ourselves. So what does that

626
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:38,600
Speaker 2: mean to honor your boundaries? Say no when you really

627
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:42,160
Speaker 2: really want to say like no, not say yes because

628
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:45,160
Speaker 2: you feel like you're obligated to, like creating home, and

629
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:48,760
Speaker 2: just in terms of just appreciating like this vessel that

630
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:52,640
Speaker 2: you have and all the things that it can and

631
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:55,560
Speaker 2: will do for you and just learning just to like

632
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:59,960
Speaker 2: love yourself unconditionally and being in that space of being

633
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,680
Speaker 2: being taught because we're taught like to kind of shrink

634
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:05,440
Speaker 2: ourselves a lot, and so like being authentic to who

635
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 2: you are and being okay with being.

636
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:10,240
Speaker 1: Authentic to who you are because a lot of the.

637
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 2: Times we navigate these spaces where people give you expectations

638
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 2: of what they expect you to be like and how

639
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 2: they expect you to show up, but really being like,

640
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 2: but does that honor me? Does that honor the space

641
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 2: within myself? Does that feel good in my heart right?

642
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 2: Or like, does that feel good in the pit of

643
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:31,200
Speaker 2: my stomach? Because you know, intuition is naturally inherently built

644
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 2: into who we are as human beings if we pay

645
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:36,720
Speaker 2: attention to it. So like just really being in that

646
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,320
Speaker 2: space of knowing that I'm just going to be true

647
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 2: to myself and being okay with it, not being okay

648
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:45,719
Speaker 2: with everybody else, because that's the part.

649
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 1: I guess.

650
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 2: You could say that I'm a recovering people pleaser, and

651
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:49,480
Speaker 2: I'm okay with that.

652
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:50,240
Speaker 1: I'll wear that.

653
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 2: But I think there's so many variables that made me

654
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 2: into trying to prove my worth all the time. To

655
00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:01,280
Speaker 2: someone else without realizing. And the most important person I

656
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 2: needed to try to prove my worth to or remind

657
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 2: myself of my worth was myself.

658
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, yeah, I'll never forget. I went to a

659
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 4: workshop in Los Angeles once and one of the questions

660
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 4: that we started off with or prompts, our eyes were closed,

661
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 4: and the facilitator said, think of someone you love. And

662
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:26,960
Speaker 4: at the very end of it, they asked, did anyone

663
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 4: think of themselves? Not a single person I think there

664
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 4: were fifty of us in that room raised our hands

665
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 4: saying that that person that we love is ourselves, And

666
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:42,760
Speaker 4: how are we supposed to go around every day as

667
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:46,040
Speaker 4: the person that talks to ourselves the most in any

668
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 4: given day and not think of ourselves as someone that

669
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 4: we love.

670
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:54,480
Speaker 2: Right, And just like even thinking about the things that

671
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:57,760
Speaker 2: you I always say, like, you know, one of the

672
00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 2: things that's helped me is cultivating a practice rooted and

673
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 2: self compassion. So yeah, we have self love, self worth,

674
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 2: but like self compassion, it's like speaking kindness onto yourself

675
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 2: and like how easy is it for you to like

676
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:11,000
Speaker 2: give me grace and be like hey, Rebecca and you

677
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 2: give me a You speak so much kindness and compassion

678
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:17,480
Speaker 2: into myself and to me like somebody you really don't know,

679
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 2: but like, how often does Emily speak kindness and compassion

680
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 2: into herself?

681
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:22,239
Speaker 1: Right?

682
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:25,400
Speaker 2: And it's so interesting that you said that of the

683
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:29,319
Speaker 2: fifty people, nobody thought of themselves. Right, And then it

684
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,280
Speaker 2: just goes to kind of like show us that, like,

685
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 2: like part of that is the ways in which we're

686
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 2: socially conditioned to shrink ourselves and alsoly social conditions not

687
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:41,759
Speaker 2: to think about ourselves. Like why is there so much

688
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 2: guilt around the whole entire idea of like putting yourself first?

689
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:45,759
Speaker 1: Right?

690
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:48,400
Speaker 2: You know, like last time I check, we unless you're

691
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:51,080
Speaker 2: a twin, but even that, you're born separately, Like you're

692
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 2: born into this world, into this being who you are, right,

693
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 2: but you spend so much time like being a human

694
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 2: being for someone else instead of being a human being

695
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:04,880
Speaker 2: for yourself, right, And so like really thinking about the

696
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,839
Speaker 2: ways in which you can honor that space within, fill

697
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 2: your own cup and love on yourself. And I think,

698
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:13,680
Speaker 2: like being a mother, like you're always putting your children

699
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:17,799
Speaker 2: first and their needs first. But then I also realize that,

700
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 2: like if I'm not taking care of myself, then how

701
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 2: could I pour into them or give them the best

702
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 2: of me when I'm not giving myself the best of

703
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,360
Speaker 2: me either. And sometimes I struggle with this and wellness

704
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,799
Speaker 2: too as well, because a lot of the things that

705
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 2: we look at and when we're talking about wellness and

706
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:37,880
Speaker 2: the idea of being well centers around this idea that

707
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:41,520
Speaker 2: we're like all these broken people and broken beings when

708
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 2: we're not really as broken as we think. And it's

709
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:47,480
Speaker 2: okay to like be in two different places. Like you

710
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,279
Speaker 2: can be broken and healing at the same time, you

711
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:53,560
Speaker 2: can be like happy and sad, you can be scared

712
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:57,399
Speaker 2: and strong, you can be all these things, because that's

713
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:00,400
Speaker 2: the compassion part that comes along with it. And like,

714
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 2: the words that we choose to speak into ourselves should

715
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 2: be the exact same words that we speak onto others.

716
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:08,760
Speaker 2: So if you're like, you know, girl, you look good today,

717
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 2: then Emily, you look good too, Like you know what

718
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:13,320
Speaker 2: you mean. Like it's so easy for us to extend

719
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:15,640
Speaker 2: that grace and compassion to so many others, but never

720
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,880
Speaker 2: extending that saying grace and compassion to ourselves. And so

721
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,600
Speaker 2: like that's something that I've been exploring a lot in

722
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 2: my work because I think it's really important, and I

723
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 2: don't necessarily feel like we do enough of that in

724
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 2: our work.

725
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, the question that comes to mind then, for someone

726
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 4: who not just in this conversation but everywhere they hear

727
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 4: have more grace for yourself and be kind and compassionate.

728
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 4: And we're talking about, you know, treating your body like

729
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:46,000
Speaker 4: it's your home, and they're like, how how do I start?

730
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 3: Where do I start?

731
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:49,880
Speaker 4: How am I supposed to get on this page where

732
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 4: I have more grace with myself when maybe it feels

733
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 4: as though the world is crumbling around you, or things

734
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 4: are going wrong with work, or you're getting out of

735
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 4: the long term relationship. There are so many different variables

736
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 4: that could be complicating your personal experience. So for someone

737
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:10,880
Speaker 4: who wants to be better at treating their body like

738
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:14,120
Speaker 4: their home and having that compassion, where do they begin?

739
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 2: I think it's really interesting that question, just because like,

740
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 2: I live in this body of being like a black woman,

741
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 2: and every single day I'm reminded of it. Sometimes it's

742
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 2: comfortable and a lot of the times it's not comfortable.

743
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,880
Speaker 2: And so I feel like when you're living in a

744
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:39,200
Speaker 2: state of constant flux, or your identities continuously othered, or

745
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:41,840
Speaker 2: like you have like a whole bunch of intersectionalities that

746
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 2: you occupy. Like the first thing you know, I always

747
00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:46,840
Speaker 2: do is just like ask my heart, like how is

748
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:49,600
Speaker 2: it doing? Like where am I at? How does this

749
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 2: feel for me? I've learned how to be friends with myself,

750
00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 2: and I think that, like it sounds so easy when

751
00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:00,200
Speaker 2: we say these things like show up in compassion and

752
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 2: show up in grace, and I just want to be

753
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:07,440
Speaker 2: transparent around the fact that it's hard. It's really hard

754
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 2: showing up and being in compassion to yourself. Is I

755
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 2: just started simply by like journaling and like taking the

756
00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:18,800
Speaker 2: opportunity to just to write how I felt out, what

757
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 2: I was feeling, what I was going through, and then

758
00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:23,200
Speaker 2: also just learning, like I said, to learn how to

759
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 2: be my own friend, so learning how to speak kindness

760
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:32,239
Speaker 2: into my own life. Like, for example, I would have

761
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:35,319
Speaker 2: this tendency like when I could get overwhelmed and be like,

762
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 2: oh my God, like like this sucks, right, but like

763
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 2: then changing the language that I would say to myself

764
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 2: to be like Okay, like it's fine, like I'm good

765
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:46,640
Speaker 2: like or not necessarily like that, but like in the

766
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:48,479
Speaker 2: sense of just being able to be in a place

767
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:53,440
Speaker 2: where I would just be saying kinder things to myself.

768
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:55,440
Speaker 2: Like you know, sometimes we're like, oh, I'm so stupid.

769
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:56,680
Speaker 2: Who told you that?

770
00:38:57,239 --> 00:38:57,839
Speaker 1: Like you know what I mean?

771
00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:00,880
Speaker 2: No, you're not stupid, So how do you ref that language?

772
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:03,320
Speaker 2: So then you're like, hey, like I made a bad decision.

773
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 2: It might not have been the smartest decision for me

774
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 2: to make, but that doesn't mean you're stupid.

775
00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 1: So like, really.

776
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:13,240
Speaker 2: Being mindful of the words that you speak over yourself.

777
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:16,160
Speaker 2: Saul Williams has this quote where he's like, be careful

778
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:18,120
Speaker 2: of what you eat, Like, be mindful what you eat

779
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:20,840
Speaker 2: and when you eat. It's not just talking about the

780
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:22,840
Speaker 2: food that you put in your body, but like the

781
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:24,680
Speaker 2: music that you listen to, the books that you read,

782
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,399
Speaker 2: but more importantly, the words that you say to yourself, right,

783
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 2: because you feed yourself right, and so if you feed

784
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:34,880
Speaker 2: yourself negative thoughts, then negative is what ends up growing

785
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 2: and manifesting, right, and so like it's a simple practice

786
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,359
Speaker 2: of just like changing the language in terms of how

787
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 2: I show up for myself. It's a simple practice of

788
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:44,960
Speaker 2: just checking in and saying, hey, Rebacca, like how are

789
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:46,839
Speaker 2: you feeling today? Because like, when was the last time

790
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:47,400
Speaker 2: you asked yourself.

791
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:48,440
Speaker 1: How do you feel? You know?

792
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:50,480
Speaker 2: And even with my kids, I'm always like, how is

793
00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:52,480
Speaker 2: your day? And they're like it was good, and I'm like, well,

794
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:53,439
Speaker 2: what made your day good?

795
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:54,719
Speaker 1: Right?

796
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:58,240
Speaker 2: Because like you also need to start recognizing and knowing

797
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 2: like what are the things that feed you? And what

798
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,759
Speaker 2: are the things that take away from you? What are

799
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 2: the things that like don't nourish you? And then also

800
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 2: recognizing that, you know, we all can admit that we

801
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:17,320
Speaker 2: live in a society that really cultivates us cultivating practices

802
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:21,319
Speaker 2: of shrinking ourselves of toxic energy towards ourselves. As much

803
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:26,160
Speaker 2: as you and I curate content, we're curating content that

804
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:29,759
Speaker 2: is premised on this idea of seeking validation from somebody else, right,

805
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:31,799
Speaker 2: Like hearts likes like you know what I mean, like

806
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,960
Speaker 2: figuring out this algorithm, so like you know what I mean,

807
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:39,360
Speaker 2: Like it's placing our worth again in somebody else's hands

808
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:42,520
Speaker 2: rather than recognizing that we need to placing our worth

809
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 2: on our own. Yeah, and I think that's like really

810
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:46,440
Speaker 2: super important.

811
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:47,759
Speaker 1: And so for me, that.

812
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 2: Looks like does the server Rebecca right? Is this an

813
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:56,720
Speaker 2: alignment with Rebecca? Does this mean shutting down conversations? Because

814
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,360
Speaker 2: I'm just not no, it's not it's not healthy for me.

815
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,959
Speaker 2: I'm not even healthy for you, right, the person who's

816
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:05,360
Speaker 2: coming at you like that. It means saying no and

817
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 2: letting go of people who are blocking your light, or

818
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:13,279
Speaker 2: who are trying to shrink you, who are trying to

819
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:18,680
Speaker 2: like prevent you from growing and glowing whatever. And again,

820
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 2: it's just about having those important conversations with yourself in

821
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:23,840
Speaker 2: terms of just thinking of the ways in which you

822
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:28,480
Speaker 2: can speak kindness into yourself, so as much as you're

823
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 2: like giving it to other people, giving that extending that

824
00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:33,600
Speaker 2: same compassion and grace back to yourself.

825
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:37,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I loved this quote that you shared on

826
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,959
Speaker 4: your social media say you said today, I rise knowing

827
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 4: that healing our curves the moment I stop trying to

828
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,880
Speaker 4: find and build a home in others. Finding and building

829
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 4: a home within, no matter how big or small that

830
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:53,840
Speaker 4: home is, is an act of radical self love.

831
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:57,520
Speaker 3: That idea of trying.

832
00:41:57,160 --> 00:42:01,440
Speaker 4: To build a home within others is us so often

833
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:05,920
Speaker 4: reaching out for that external validation, reaching out for what

834
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 4: we feel as though we are lacking. And it's normal, right,

835
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:13,600
Speaker 4: Like that is a normal behavior. We are sociable people.

836
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:17,120
Speaker 4: We are sociable beings we are meant to connect with others.

837
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:20,960
Speaker 4: But when you place all of your value on the

838
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 4: perspective or actions of someone else, then you lose a

839
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:27,879
Speaker 4: piece of yourself In that, I.

840
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 2: Would say that I lost myself a lot of times

841
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:35,920
Speaker 2: along the way. I might get a little emotional. I

842
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 2: wrote that specifically coming from the perspective of placing my

843
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:44,160
Speaker 2: value in worth in other people's hands and allowing that

844
00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:47,759
Speaker 2: to determine who I was and not recognizing that, like

845
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,280
Speaker 2: I was giving them too much power and not giving

846
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 2: myself enough power. You know. Like just the other day,

847
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:54,239
Speaker 2: I was talking to one of my friends and she

848
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:56,640
Speaker 2: was telling me about something that she was going through,

849
00:42:57,160 --> 00:42:59,480
Speaker 2: and then I was just like, but like what do

850
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:02,760
Speaker 2: you want right, Like you're telling me about this person,

851
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:06,719
Speaker 2: but like like I'm recognizing where does this come from?

852
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:10,239
Speaker 2: Where does this need for us to like prove ourselves

853
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,000
Speaker 2: and our value and our worth, you know, And so

854
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:14,799
Speaker 2: like I had to do like a lot of like

855
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:20,839
Speaker 2: inner work and recognize that, Like, you know, I I

856
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 2: grew up. You know, I love my mother and she

857
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 2: was an amazing person, but I didn't actually have the

858
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,839
Speaker 2: most healthiest relationship with my mother. And so like I

859
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 2: had to do a lot of like inner child work

860
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:35,680
Speaker 2: and like healing from that and recognizing that like that's

861
00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:39,800
Speaker 2: where the need to prove my worth started and originated from.

862
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:43,800
Speaker 2: And then you know, like navigating this space. Like my

863
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:47,440
Speaker 2: family immigrated to Canada, my mom was a nanny, so like,

864
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:50,799
Speaker 2: you know, that's not exactly like the coolest thing to

865
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:52,759
Speaker 2: talk about in front of your friends at school, and

866
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 2: having to prove my worth there, right, and then like

867
00:43:57,520 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 2: you know, just trying to like you know, I was

868
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:02,960
Speaker 2: supposed to go to school and become a lawyer, like

869
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,360
Speaker 2: because that was a thing. Like clearly I'm not a lawyer,

870
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:09,279
Speaker 2: but like these ideals of who we're supposed to be

871
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 2: that are predicated on somebody else's opinion, and then our

872
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:15,759
Speaker 2: incestant need to be like, hey, hey, look at me,

873
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:19,879
Speaker 2: Like I'm doing it right, right, Like I'm pretty enough, right,

874
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:22,600
Speaker 2: Like I'm skinny enough, right, Like now you'll like me.

875
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:24,200
Speaker 1: Right. I did all these things.

876
00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 2: I was in a relationship where I was with somebody

877
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:30,880
Speaker 2: and we have three beautiful children because of that. But

878
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:34,120
Speaker 2: like it might not have been the most healthiest because

879
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 2: I placed so much of my worth and my value

880
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 2: in their hands. And like when things didn't work out.

881
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 2: Then I was just like, well, then what do I

882
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:47,880
Speaker 2: have for myself?

883
00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:50,399
Speaker 1: People can reject you. You just lose sight of who

884
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 1: you are.

885
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:54,960
Speaker 2: And then it's like a long climb back up that

886
00:44:55,719 --> 00:44:59,320
Speaker 2: mountain to get back to like the mountaintop of Rebecca

887
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 2: or the mountain to of Emily, like the mountain top

888
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:04,319
Speaker 2: of who you are, because you spent so much of

889
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:11,839
Speaker 2: your time giving yourself to somebody else or others, right,

890
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:13,759
Speaker 2: and so like my whole identity, I'm like a mother,

891
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:15,759
Speaker 2: I'm a friend, I'm a sister, I'm a daughter, like

892
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. But I'm still Rebecca. So

893
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:21,359
Speaker 2: like I'm feeding into all these other identities. But when

894
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:24,319
Speaker 2: am I feeding into Rebecca? I'm pouring into Rebecca. And

895
00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:27,439
Speaker 2: how often does that happen? And then more importantly, it's

896
00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 2: like I'm placing my worth in your hands and you

897
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:35,520
Speaker 2: can crush me, like you can just squeeze that hand,

898
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,719
Speaker 2: and like the essence of who I am is just

899
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 2: like evaporates into dust and then you're like lost, right,

900
00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 2: and then it's like then what happens? And so like

901
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:50,200
Speaker 2: I had this epiphany where I was just like, you know,

902
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 2: lots of therapy and lots of yoga and lots of

903
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:58,600
Speaker 2: like sessions where I was just like venting and being

904
00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 2: angry and healing because healing was not pretty. To come

905
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:06,719
Speaker 2: to this recognition that like I'd given so much of

906
00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:11,880
Speaker 2: myself and I lost who I was. I, you know,

907
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,400
Speaker 2: wanted to reclaim those parts of me that were fearless,

908
00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 2: those reclaim those parts of me that was like, you know,

909
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:18,960
Speaker 2: I'm a little goofy, I'm a little this, I'm a

910
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 2: little that like. But I kind of like put those

911
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:23,839
Speaker 2: on the back burner because that's not how people wanted

912
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:25,719
Speaker 2: me to show up. But I was like, this is

913
00:46:25,719 --> 00:46:28,400
Speaker 2: who I am, and like, if you can't necessarily accept

914
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:29,839
Speaker 2: me for who I am, maybe you're not the right

915
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:30,719
Speaker 2: person to be in my life.

916
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:34,760
Speaker 4: Hell yeah, right, yeah, all of everything that you're getting

917
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:38,120
Speaker 4: into here, it's a struggle that many can relate to,

918
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:45,160
Speaker 4: and oftentimes it takes these difficult, hurdle moments situations for

919
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:50,400
Speaker 4: us to genuinely understand the value of investing in self.

920
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 4: Right when I learned the importance of investing in myself,

921
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 4: I was not only better to show up for myself,

922
00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:59,839
Speaker 4: but then, of course, as you touched on show up

923
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:02,919
Speaker 4: for other people that I care about, And it is

924
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:06,200
Speaker 4: really easy to get caught up in giving so much

925
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:08,280
Speaker 4: of yourself to someone else that you feel as though

926
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:12,160
Speaker 4: your worth is sitting in their hands. But we have

927
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:16,360
Speaker 4: the opportunity to make our body, our soul, our vessel

928
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,279
Speaker 4: and come to terms with just how much value we

929
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:22,600
Speaker 4: have to bring to the table. And the healing is hard.

930
00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:24,080
Speaker 4: It also never stops.

931
00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:28,960
Speaker 2: And that's one thing if anybody gets anything from this conversation,

932
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:31,919
Speaker 2: Cause you know, I was talking to somebody and they

933
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:34,880
Speaker 2: were just like adamant and I think I even like

934
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:37,359
Speaker 2: posted about this. They were like they were saying something

935
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:38,920
Speaker 2: to me and they're like, but are you healed? But

936
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:40,959
Speaker 2: are you healed? Like you went through all this stuff,

937
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:45,280
Speaker 2: but are you healed? And I'm like, no, I'm not healed.

938
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:49,120
Speaker 2: And you know what, that's okay because they feel like

939
00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:52,000
Speaker 2: healing was supposed to be like this final destination, like

940
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:55,960
Speaker 2: it's healing meaning it is a process, like meaning that

941
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,919
Speaker 2: it's continuous and like you're along this journey and something

942
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:01,000
Speaker 2: else might pop up, you know what I mean? And

943
00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 2: so like I really think that, like you know, we

944
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:06,680
Speaker 2: have to get rid of these static notions and understanding

945
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:11,359
Speaker 2: that like healing is a fixed, one last stop destination.

946
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:15,360
Speaker 2: And it's okay for you to be dynamic and fluid

947
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:19,200
Speaker 2: and understand that, like healing is a journey, Like we're

948
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:22,919
Speaker 2: placed on this path called or journey called life. Right,

949
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 2: it's not linear. There's so many ebbs and flows, ups

950
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:30,000
Speaker 2: and downs circles. So why would we have the expectation

951
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 2: that processes along this journey called life, such as healing

952
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 2: would just be one static like one stop, like one

953
00:48:38,239 --> 00:48:43,040
Speaker 2: shoe fits all kind of vibe it' that's definitely the way.

954
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:46,279
Speaker 3: That's not the way. It's not it, That is not it.

955
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:49,520
Speaker 1: And I think if more people did that, then.

956
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:55,360
Speaker 2: More people would have more compassion to them towards themselves,

957
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:59,400
Speaker 2: and more people would have understanding, and they would like

958
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:04,000
Speaker 2: understanding for themselves and for each other. And I think,

959
00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:05,920
Speaker 2: you know, if more people were to be able to

960
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:11,080
Speaker 2: do that, then you're just creating a different dynamic for

961
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:14,319
Speaker 2: how you show up for yourself and how you allow

962
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:16,719
Speaker 2: others to show up for yourselves, and even how we

963
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 2: you know, cultivate better practices around not just self care,

964
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:22,680
Speaker 2: but the larger practice of like community care, which is

965
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 2: essentially what the whole entire essence of what wellness is

966
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:26,000
Speaker 2: supposed to be about.

967
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,319
Speaker 1: It's about us taking care of each other, taking care

968
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:28,799
Speaker 1: of each other.

969
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:32,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, it starts with you, though, Rebecca. I'm so excited

970
00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:34,640
Speaker 4: that we were able to make this happen and sit

971
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,600
Speaker 4: down together. This is a really great conversation. I'm leaving

972
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:40,040
Speaker 4: with a lot of thoughts about how I can more

973
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:43,399
Speaker 4: so invest in my body and maybe prioritize that again,

974
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 4: because again, that prioritization, it's like something that you start doing,

975
00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:51,040
Speaker 4: but you always have to keep relearning it, right, Yeah.

976
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:53,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, and not to feel guilty about it either, totally.

977
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:53,640
Speaker 3: Yeah.

978
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:55,560
Speaker 2: I feel like there's a lot of language around making

979
00:49:55,640 --> 00:49:58,360
Speaker 2: us feel guilty around that, and it's not it's not selfish.

980
00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:01,279
Speaker 2: It's totally not selfish. And I don't know, like your

981
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:04,880
Speaker 2: ancestors didn't work this hard for you to sit and

982
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:09,239
Speaker 2: shrink your light and not prioritize yourself like you know,

983
00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:11,640
Speaker 2: like keep going exactly.

984
00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:13,680
Speaker 3: How do the hurdlers follow along with you? How do

985
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:15,360
Speaker 3: they keep up with you? Give us your details.

986
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 2: They can find me on Instagram obviously at Rebecca Price,

987
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:21,920
Speaker 2: and I will be dropping a new website.

988
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:23,640
Speaker 1: At ww dot Rebecca Price dot.

989
00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:28,239
Speaker 2: Com and I find my meditations on Spotify and Apple Music.

990
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:31,520
Speaker 4: Dope, I'm over at EMLA Body, and at Hurdle Podcast.

991
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:34,399
Speaker 4: Another Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time.