WEBVTT - Dear Chiquis: Letting Go, Should We Forgive Cheaters?

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<v Speaker 1>M hm. Hi everyone, and welcome to Dear cheek Ees.

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<v Speaker 1>This is a brandow addition to my Chickens and Chill podcast,

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<v Speaker 1>and if you haven't heard it, go check it out.

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<v Speaker 1>Those episodes are longer and more depth. But here on

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<v Speaker 1>Dear Cheeks, I'm connecting with you on a deeper level.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just me and you. Each week I'll be answering

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<v Speaker 1>your questions on love, relationships, and so much more. Submit

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<v Speaker 1>your questions at speak pipe dot com slash cheek Ease

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<v Speaker 1>and Chill Podcast. Okay, so now that you know what

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<v Speaker 1>to expect on this show, let's press play and get

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<v Speaker 1>into the first question. Hi, good morning, cheek Ees. My

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<v Speaker 1>name is Antonio, one of your boss fees from Orange County.

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<v Speaker 1>My question for you is what are your thoughts surrounding

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<v Speaker 1>the process of letting someone go, someone that doesn't serve

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<v Speaker 1>your higher purpose, some one that is not implementing anything

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<v Speaker 1>positive into your life. I'm the type of person that's

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<v Speaker 1>very sensitive to energies. I like being around like minded

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<v Speaker 1>individuals who bring positive vibes and who elevate my life

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<v Speaker 1>and complement it. Oftentimes I find myself giving people more

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<v Speaker 1>than one chance, giving them the benefit of the doubt

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a cancer, so um I can resonate with you

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<v Speaker 1>in that sense. But for me, I feel that some

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<v Speaker 1>people should just you know, know right from wrong, and

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<v Speaker 1>you know, they should take accountability for their actions, and

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<v Speaker 1>they should apologize and come forth and make amends. What

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<v Speaker 1>are your thoughts about that cheek ease? And more specifically,

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<v Speaker 1>what I'm trying to ask is do those people always

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<v Speaker 1>deserve an explanation prior to you cutting them off? Or

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<v Speaker 1>would you just cut them off even without explaining anything. Wow, Antonio,

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<v Speaker 1>very very nice question. Thank you so much for being

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<v Speaker 1>one of my boss bes. Look, I was just actually

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<v Speaker 1>giving someone advice on this yesterday. I think throughout the years,

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<v Speaker 1>and as I've gotten older and more mature, I've learned

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<v Speaker 1>to let go of people that don't serve my higher good.

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<v Speaker 1>If they're not giving me what I'm giving them and

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<v Speaker 1>they're only taking up space and making me sad and

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<v Speaker 1>causing me pain, then that's an indication for me to

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<v Speaker 1>just say, let me love this person from afar, even

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<v Speaker 1>if it's a family member a friend, especially if it's

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<v Speaker 1>someone that you're in a relationship with, because you are

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<v Speaker 1>constantly connecting and exchanging energies with the person you're significant other,

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<v Speaker 1>so it's very difficult. It's a lot easier said than done.

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<v Speaker 1>I do feel that you should give the person somewhat

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<v Speaker 1>of an explanation if they deserve it, even if you

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<v Speaker 1>send a voice note. Sometimes I've sent voice notes to

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<v Speaker 1>people where I'm like, Hey, I don't need you to respond,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just letting you know that I am no longer

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<v Speaker 1>going to contact you. I don't want you to contact me.

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<v Speaker 1>You did X, Y and Z, and because of that,

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<v Speaker 1>I am ex naming you out of my life. And

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<v Speaker 1>I blocked them and I don't ask or wonder if

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<v Speaker 1>they responded or anything. And there have been people that

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<v Speaker 1>I've just cut off because they know they've done something

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<v Speaker 1>that they weren't supposed to do, and I feel like

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<v Speaker 1>they don't need an explanation. But it always makes me

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<v Speaker 1>feel better to say, hey, I am pushing you out

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<v Speaker 1>of my life because of this reason, so that they're

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<v Speaker 1>aware of it and they have the opportunity of changing

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<v Speaker 1>or not, you know, because sometimes if you don't let

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<v Speaker 1>the person know what it is that they're doing and

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<v Speaker 1>how they are affecting you, then they're never going to

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<v Speaker 1>learn it all just depends in the situation. But I

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<v Speaker 1>do feel that it's okay to love people from Afar

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<v Speaker 1>and wish them well from Afar doesn't matter who they are,

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<v Speaker 1>you know. And then there are other people like my

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<v Speaker 1>siblings that I'm like, it doesn't matter what it is

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<v Speaker 1>that they do, I will speak to them. For me,

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<v Speaker 1>it's like important to have certain relationship with certain people.

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<v Speaker 1>But I have let go of the closest people in

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<v Speaker 1>my life because they affect me in a negative way.

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<v Speaker 1>So there's no shame in that. And just answer your question. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>I do feel that it would be good for you

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<v Speaker 1>to just say, hey, this is my reason, whether it

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<v Speaker 1>be a text, whether it be a letter, whether it

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<v Speaker 1>be an email, a voice note, and just let them

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<v Speaker 1>know it's okay and it's important to love yourself and Antonio.

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<v Speaker 1>I hope that my advice helped And if you have

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<v Speaker 1>any other questions, I'm here to answer them. Now let's

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<v Speaker 1>go into the second question. Hey, Jeekie, is Jackie from Jersey?

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<v Speaker 1>Would you forgive a cheater? Hi? Jackie from Jersey thought

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<v Speaker 1>me into the Jersey. Thank you for your question. Look,

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<v Speaker 1>I have forgiven a cheater before I have. If you

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<v Speaker 1>can forgive someone and try to forget, then go ahead.

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<v Speaker 1>It's important for you to forgive with the clean heart.

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<v Speaker 1>And if you're going to be in a relationship with

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<v Speaker 1>that person and try to move forward, you cannot keep

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<v Speaker 1>bringing it up like you have to really forgive and

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<v Speaker 1>let it go, because if not, you're going to ruin

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<v Speaker 1>the relationship. If you feel I'm always going to think

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<v Speaker 1>about it over and over. It's going to be in

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<v Speaker 1>the back of my mind. How did he kiss the girl?

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<v Speaker 1>How did they have sex? Did he like her more

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<v Speaker 1>than me? That is all going to torment your mind.

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<v Speaker 1>So I would say, forgive him or forgive her. If

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<v Speaker 1>it's a boy or girl, doesn't matter. Forgive the cheater

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<v Speaker 1>and let them go and just say thank you for

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<v Speaker 1>the experience. But I can't move forward with you. But

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<v Speaker 1>if you can forgive and try to forget, pussy, I

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<v Speaker 1>think it's a beautiful thing to forgive. It gives you

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<v Speaker 1>the wings of liberty. So that's my advice on that

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<v Speaker 1>gamin thing. Then go for it, Mama. Okay. I hope

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<v Speaker 1>that I was able to help in some way. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>let's get into the next question. This one is from

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<v Speaker 1>Nellie Hey chick eas I just wanted to say that

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<v Speaker 1>I absolutely love and adore you for everything that you

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<v Speaker 1>have overcome and everything that you're currently still doing. I

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<v Speaker 1>was a huge fan of your mom when I was

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<v Speaker 1>a kid, and I still am, and I'm a huge

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<v Speaker 1>fan of you and your music, So keep up the

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<v Speaker 1>good work. I just wanted to get your advice and

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<v Speaker 1>a little something. I started to talk to this guy

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<v Speaker 1>last year, literally January first. Who started to talk. But

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<v Speaker 1>we're getting to know each other for about a good

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<v Speaker 1>six or seven months, but then we ended up losing

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<v Speaker 1>contact and you know, we ended up seeing other people

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<v Speaker 1>during that time. He ended up getting into relationship with

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<v Speaker 1>someone else. We recently reconnected about four or five months ago,

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<v Speaker 1>and ever since then, we have been talking all day

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<v Speaker 1>every day. We both work a lot, so we don't

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<v Speaker 1>see each other, but when we do, our chemistry and

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<v Speaker 1>saying it's always good bye. We laugh and talk about

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<v Speaker 1>everything and anything for hours. We have not had sex.

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<v Speaker 1>We don't talk about sex at all. Um, we never

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<v Speaker 1>even kissed. That most we have done is give each

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<v Speaker 1>other a hug. Um. We both know what's wrong because

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<v Speaker 1>he's still currently in a relationship. But he did tell

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<v Speaker 1>me he wants to see where this goes with me.

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<v Speaker 1>So I want to know, should I just see where

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<v Speaker 1>it goes with him, because like I started, chemistry is insane?

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<v Speaker 1>Or should I just you know, let him continue to

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<v Speaker 1>be with his girlfriend and fix that relationship or whatever

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<v Speaker 1>they want to do, because like I said, I feel horrible.

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<v Speaker 1>I know what I feels like to be cheated on.

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<v Speaker 1>And we both know what's horrible. We both know what's

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<v Speaker 1>wrong that we that we like each other, but I

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<v Speaker 1>just don't know what to do. I'm stuck, Nellie. Okay, Well,

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<v Speaker 1>first of all, thank you, Mama, thank you for for

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<v Speaker 1>the love and support. Like maybe I'm I'm gonna be

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<v Speaker 1>a hunter with you right now. I think you're too

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<v Speaker 1>much of a great person and woman and you should

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<v Speaker 1>give yourself that place. And if I know that just

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<v Speaker 1>by hearing you, you should know that. So if he's

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<v Speaker 1>in a relationship, Mama, you have to respect at You

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<v Speaker 1>wouldn't want him to do the same thing to you.

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<v Speaker 1>And if he's doing it to her, he will most

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<v Speaker 1>likely do it to you because he's gonna know that

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<v Speaker 1>you're okay with that, you know what I mean, Like

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<v Speaker 1>you're already starting off on the wrong foot, so I

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<v Speaker 1>think the best advice that I can give you is

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<v Speaker 1>you need to cut that off. If he really likes

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<v Speaker 1>you and he really wants to be with you, then

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<v Speaker 1>he's going to leave that relationship and then start something

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<v Speaker 1>with you. But at this point, I don't know if

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<v Speaker 1>he's a person that you can trust. Because it's good

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<v Speaker 1>that you guys haven't had sex or kiss or anything

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<v Speaker 1>like that. But I think it's not fair for you

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<v Speaker 1>that he's one ft in, one foot out in that

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<v Speaker 1>relationship and trying to figure out, Okay, well is it

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<v Speaker 1>better over here with Nelly or should I continue with

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<v Speaker 1>my with my girlfriend. You know, that's what he's doing.

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<v Speaker 1>He's getting his cake and eating it too, and that's

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<v Speaker 1>not cool. And you should also as a woman, we

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<v Speaker 1>all have to respect other women, and if he's in

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<v Speaker 1>a relationship, I would recommend for you to respect that

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<v Speaker 1>other woman because I'm sure she wouldn't be okay with it.

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<v Speaker 1>And if you do decide to end things with him,

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<v Speaker 1>I think that you should send him a message. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't even think it should be in person, to be honest,

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<v Speaker 1>because you don't want to have that opportunity of him

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<v Speaker 1>trying to sway you. I think that you should just

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<v Speaker 1>send him a nice either email or text message explaining, Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>I've come to the realization that this isn't good for

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<v Speaker 1>me or for you, and it's not fair to your girlfriend.

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<v Speaker 1>And I want to put good energy out there and

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<v Speaker 1>I wish you the best, but I have to end

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<v Speaker 1>this because this is not okay. It's not going to

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<v Speaker 1>be easy. I know you like this guy, but go

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<v Speaker 1>mo list and let it go and if it comes back,

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<v Speaker 1>then it's meant for you. But then you also have

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<v Speaker 1>to sit and say, Okay, do I really want that

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<v Speaker 1>type of guy? Like what if you guys are together, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>he leaves his girlfriend and then comes with you, and

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<v Speaker 1>then you guys are happy for a year and he's

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<v Speaker 1>still like you don't even like what if the cycle repeats?

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<v Speaker 1>Is what I'm saying. Give yourself your place so that

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<v Speaker 1>he can give you your place. If that makes sense.

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<v Speaker 1>That's my advice to you, Nelly. I'm sending you a

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<v Speaker 1>big hug. Girl. I know it's easier said than done,

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<v Speaker 1>but love yourself, Mama, love yourself more m Thank you

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<v Speaker 1>all for submitting your questions, and just a friendly reminder

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<v Speaker 1>to speak to a therapist if you're struggling with an

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<v Speaker 1>issue or hardship. I've said this many times, but I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to say it again. I really think I was

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<v Speaker 1>put on this earth to help others, and I'll continue

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<v Speaker 1>to do so in any way that I possibly can,

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<v Speaker 1>especially using my platforms. Thank you so much for listening,

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<v Speaker 1>and I will see you next Wednesday with another episode

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<v Speaker 1>of Dear Cheeks once again. You can submit your questions

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<v Speaker 1>at speak pipe dot com, slash cheek, Ease, and Chill

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<v Speaker 1>podcasts mm hmm. This is a production of My Heart

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<v Speaker 1>Radio and Michel podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at

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<v Speaker 1>Michael Tura Podcasts and follow me chick ees That's c

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<v Speaker 1>h i q u i s. For more podcasts from

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