1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 1: M hm. Hi everyone, and welcome to Dear cheek Ees. 2 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:18,400 Speaker 1: This is a brandow addition to my Chickens and Chill podcast, 3 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:20,079 Speaker 1: and if you haven't heard it, go check it out. 4 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:23,720 Speaker 1: Those episodes are longer and more depth. But here on 5 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,440 Speaker 1: Dear Cheeks, I'm connecting with you on a deeper level. 6 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:29,640 Speaker 1: It's just me and you. Each week I'll be answering 7 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:33,080 Speaker 1: your questions on love, relationships, and so much more. Submit 8 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:36,400 Speaker 1: your questions at speak pipe dot com slash cheek Ease 9 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:39,239 Speaker 1: and Chill Podcast. Okay, so now that you know what 10 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:42,120 Speaker 1: to expect on this show, let's press play and get 11 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:46,040 Speaker 1: into the first question. Hi, good morning, cheek Ees. My 12 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: name is Antonio, one of your boss fees from Orange County. 13 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:53,760 Speaker 1: My question for you is what are your thoughts surrounding 14 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:57,800 Speaker 1: the process of letting someone go, someone that doesn't serve 15 00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 1: your higher purpose, some one that is not implementing anything 16 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:06,080 Speaker 1: positive into your life. I'm the type of person that's 17 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:10,400 Speaker 1: very sensitive to energies. I like being around like minded 18 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 1: individuals who bring positive vibes and who elevate my life 19 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:19,600 Speaker 1: and complement it. Oftentimes I find myself giving people more 20 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 1: than one chance, giving them the benefit of the doubt 21 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:26,520 Speaker 1: I'm a cancer, so um I can resonate with you 22 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:30,560 Speaker 1: in that sense. But for me, I feel that some 23 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 1: people should just you know, know right from wrong, and 24 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:38,039 Speaker 1: you know, they should take accountability for their actions, and 25 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 1: they should apologize and come forth and make amends. What 26 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:45,880 Speaker 1: are your thoughts about that cheek ease? And more specifically, 27 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,840 Speaker 1: what I'm trying to ask is do those people always 28 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:52,480 Speaker 1: deserve an explanation prior to you cutting them off? Or 29 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 1: would you just cut them off even without explaining anything. Wow, Antonio, 30 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 1: very very nice question. Thank you so much for being 31 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,120 Speaker 1: one of my boss bes. Look, I was just actually 32 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 1: giving someone advice on this yesterday. I think throughout the years, 33 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,520 Speaker 1: and as I've gotten older and more mature, I've learned 34 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,920 Speaker 1: to let go of people that don't serve my higher good. 35 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:17,440 Speaker 1: If they're not giving me what I'm giving them and 36 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 1: they're only taking up space and making me sad and 37 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:24,520 Speaker 1: causing me pain, then that's an indication for me to 38 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 1: just say, let me love this person from afar, even 39 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:32,359 Speaker 1: if it's a family member a friend, especially if it's 40 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,639 Speaker 1: someone that you're in a relationship with, because you are 41 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 1: constantly connecting and exchanging energies with the person you're significant other, 42 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,480 Speaker 1: so it's very difficult. It's a lot easier said than done. 43 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:48,480 Speaker 1: I do feel that you should give the person somewhat 44 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,200 Speaker 1: of an explanation if they deserve it, even if you 45 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:54,359 Speaker 1: send a voice note. Sometimes I've sent voice notes to 46 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:57,880 Speaker 1: people where I'm like, Hey, I don't need you to respond, 47 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 1: I'm just letting you know that I am no longer 48 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:03,639 Speaker 1: going to contact you. I don't want you to contact me. 49 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: You did X, Y and Z, and because of that, 50 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:09,760 Speaker 1: I am ex naming you out of my life. And 51 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,920 Speaker 1: I blocked them and I don't ask or wonder if 52 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:16,120 Speaker 1: they responded or anything. And there have been people that 53 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,639 Speaker 1: I've just cut off because they know they've done something 54 00:03:18,639 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 1: that they weren't supposed to do, and I feel like 55 00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 1: they don't need an explanation. But it always makes me 56 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:27,120 Speaker 1: feel better to say, hey, I am pushing you out 57 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 1: of my life because of this reason, so that they're 58 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: aware of it and they have the opportunity of changing 59 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,080 Speaker 1: or not, you know, because sometimes if you don't let 60 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 1: the person know what it is that they're doing and 61 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: how they are affecting you, then they're never going to 62 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 1: learn it all just depends in the situation. But I 63 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:47,320 Speaker 1: do feel that it's okay to love people from Afar 64 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:53,760 Speaker 1: and wish them well from Afar doesn't matter who they are, 65 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 1: you know. And then there are other people like my 66 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,560 Speaker 1: siblings that I'm like, it doesn't matter what it is 67 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 1: that they do, I will speak to them. For me, 68 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 1: it's like important to have certain relationship with certain people. 69 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 1: But I have let go of the closest people in 70 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:08,160 Speaker 1: my life because they affect me in a negative way. 71 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 1: So there's no shame in that. And just answer your question. Yes, 72 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 1: I do feel that it would be good for you 73 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,120 Speaker 1: to just say, hey, this is my reason, whether it 74 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:16,719 Speaker 1: be a text, whether it be a letter, whether it 75 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,840 Speaker 1: be an email, a voice note, and just let them 76 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:26,560 Speaker 1: know it's okay and it's important to love yourself and Antonio. 77 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 1: I hope that my advice helped And if you have 78 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:45,160 Speaker 1: any other questions, I'm here to answer them. Now let's 79 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:51,359 Speaker 1: go into the second question. Hey, Jeekie, is Jackie from Jersey? 80 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:57,000 Speaker 1: Would you forgive a cheater? Hi? Jackie from Jersey thought 81 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 1: me into the Jersey. Thank you for your question. Look, 82 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:04,160 Speaker 1: I have forgiven a cheater before I have. If you 83 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 1: can forgive someone and try to forget, then go ahead. 84 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,799 Speaker 1: It's important for you to forgive with the clean heart. 85 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 1: And if you're going to be in a relationship with 86 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,760 Speaker 1: that person and try to move forward, you cannot keep 87 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 1: bringing it up like you have to really forgive and 88 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:21,960 Speaker 1: let it go, because if not, you're going to ruin 89 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 1: the relationship. If you feel I'm always going to think 90 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 1: about it over and over. It's going to be in 91 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,160 Speaker 1: the back of my mind. How did he kiss the girl? 92 00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:31,160 Speaker 1: How did they have sex? Did he like her more 93 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 1: than me? That is all going to torment your mind. 94 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:37,960 Speaker 1: So I would say, forgive him or forgive her. If 95 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 1: it's a boy or girl, doesn't matter. Forgive the cheater 96 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 1: and let them go and just say thank you for 97 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:46,800 Speaker 1: the experience. But I can't move forward with you. But 98 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:50,159 Speaker 1: if you can forgive and try to forget, pussy, I 99 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,719 Speaker 1: think it's a beautiful thing to forgive. It gives you 100 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 1: the wings of liberty. So that's my advice on that 101 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,920 Speaker 1: gamin thing. Then go for it, Mama. Okay. I hope 102 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:11,000 Speaker 1: that I was able to help in some way. Okay, 103 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,800 Speaker 1: let's get into the next question. This one is from 104 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 1: Nellie Hey chick eas I just wanted to say that 105 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:20,359 Speaker 1: I absolutely love and adore you for everything that you 106 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:24,159 Speaker 1: have overcome and everything that you're currently still doing. I 107 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 1: was a huge fan of your mom when I was 108 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,120 Speaker 1: a kid, and I still am, and I'm a huge 109 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 1: fan of you and your music, So keep up the 110 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 1: good work. I just wanted to get your advice and 111 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,920 Speaker 1: a little something. I started to talk to this guy 112 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,840 Speaker 1: last year, literally January first. Who started to talk. But 113 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:39,720 Speaker 1: we're getting to know each other for about a good 114 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 1: six or seven months, but then we ended up losing 115 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 1: contact and you know, we ended up seeing other people 116 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,920 Speaker 1: during that time. He ended up getting into relationship with 117 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:51,159 Speaker 1: someone else. We recently reconnected about four or five months ago, 118 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,760 Speaker 1: and ever since then, we have been talking all day 119 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,120 Speaker 1: every day. We both work a lot, so we don't 120 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 1: see each other, but when we do, our chemistry and 121 00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 1: saying it's always good bye. We laugh and talk about 122 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:04,839 Speaker 1: everything and anything for hours. We have not had sex. 123 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 1: We don't talk about sex at all. Um, we never 124 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 1: even kissed. That most we have done is give each 125 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,520 Speaker 1: other a hug. Um. We both know what's wrong because 126 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 1: he's still currently in a relationship. But he did tell 127 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 1: me he wants to see where this goes with me. 128 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 1: So I want to know, should I just see where 129 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,960 Speaker 1: it goes with him, because like I started, chemistry is insane? 130 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 1: Or should I just you know, let him continue to 131 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 1: be with his girlfriend and fix that relationship or whatever 132 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 1: they want to do, because like I said, I feel horrible. 133 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 1: I know what I feels like to be cheated on. 134 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 1: And we both know what's horrible. We both know what's 135 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,760 Speaker 1: wrong that we that we like each other, but I 136 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:39,440 Speaker 1: just don't know what to do. I'm stuck, Nellie. Okay, Well, 137 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 1: first of all, thank you, Mama, thank you for for 138 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,840 Speaker 1: the love and support. Like maybe I'm I'm gonna be 139 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 1: a hunter with you right now. I think you're too 140 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,640 Speaker 1: much of a great person and woman and you should 141 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 1: give yourself that place. And if I know that just 142 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 1: by hearing you, you should know that. So if he's 143 00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:01,440 Speaker 1: in a relationship, Mama, you have to respect at You 144 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 1: wouldn't want him to do the same thing to you. 145 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,920 Speaker 1: And if he's doing it to her, he will most 146 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 1: likely do it to you because he's gonna know that 147 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,040 Speaker 1: you're okay with that, you know what I mean, Like 148 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,680 Speaker 1: you're already starting off on the wrong foot, so I 149 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:18,560 Speaker 1: think the best advice that I can give you is 150 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,440 Speaker 1: you need to cut that off. If he really likes 151 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:25,000 Speaker 1: you and he really wants to be with you, then 152 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:29,600 Speaker 1: he's going to leave that relationship and then start something 153 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:33,400 Speaker 1: with you. But at this point, I don't know if 154 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:35,960 Speaker 1: he's a person that you can trust. Because it's good 155 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:37,760 Speaker 1: that you guys haven't had sex or kiss or anything 156 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,120 Speaker 1: like that. But I think it's not fair for you 157 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,200 Speaker 1: that he's one ft in, one foot out in that 158 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,360 Speaker 1: relationship and trying to figure out, Okay, well is it 159 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,440 Speaker 1: better over here with Nelly or should I continue with 160 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:48,480 Speaker 1: my with my girlfriend. You know, that's what he's doing. 161 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:50,360 Speaker 1: He's getting his cake and eating it too, and that's 162 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:52,520 Speaker 1: not cool. And you should also as a woman, we 163 00:08:52,559 --> 00:08:55,480 Speaker 1: all have to respect other women, and if he's in 164 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 1: a relationship, I would recommend for you to respect that 165 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 1: other woman because I'm sure she wouldn't be okay with it. 166 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:05,800 Speaker 1: And if you do decide to end things with him, 167 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,760 Speaker 1: I think that you should send him a message. I 168 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 1: don't even think it should be in person, to be honest, 169 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,440 Speaker 1: because you don't want to have that opportunity of him 170 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,320 Speaker 1: trying to sway you. I think that you should just 171 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:21,559 Speaker 1: send him a nice either email or text message explaining, Hey, 172 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:24,320 Speaker 1: I've come to the realization that this isn't good for 173 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,200 Speaker 1: me or for you, and it's not fair to your girlfriend. 174 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:29,840 Speaker 1: And I want to put good energy out there and 175 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,280 Speaker 1: I wish you the best, but I have to end 176 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:35,280 Speaker 1: this because this is not okay. It's not going to 177 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,480 Speaker 1: be easy. I know you like this guy, but go 178 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:40,559 Speaker 1: mo list and let it go and if it comes back, 179 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,520 Speaker 1: then it's meant for you. But then you also have 180 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,560 Speaker 1: to sit and say, Okay, do I really want that 181 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 1: type of guy? Like what if you guys are together, Yeah, 182 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 1: he leaves his girlfriend and then comes with you, and 183 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 1: then you guys are happy for a year and he's 184 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 1: still like you don't even like what if the cycle repeats? 185 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:57,120 Speaker 1: Is what I'm saying. Give yourself your place so that 186 00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:59,400 Speaker 1: he can give you your place. If that makes sense. 187 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,160 Speaker 1: That's my advice to you, Nelly. I'm sending you a 188 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,560 Speaker 1: big hug. Girl. I know it's easier said than done, 189 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 1: but love yourself, Mama, love yourself more m Thank you 190 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,520 Speaker 1: all for submitting your questions, and just a friendly reminder 191 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:24,320 Speaker 1: to speak to a therapist if you're struggling with an 192 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:27,520 Speaker 1: issue or hardship. I've said this many times, but I'm 193 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,760 Speaker 1: going to say it again. I really think I was 194 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,240 Speaker 1: put on this earth to help others, and I'll continue 195 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,640 Speaker 1: to do so in any way that I possibly can, 196 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:37,880 Speaker 1: especially using my platforms. Thank you so much for listening, 197 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,160 Speaker 1: and I will see you next Wednesday with another episode 198 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:45,120 Speaker 1: of Dear Cheeks once again. You can submit your questions 199 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,480 Speaker 1: at speak pipe dot com, slash cheek, Ease, and Chill 200 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 1: podcasts mm hmm. This is a production of My Heart 201 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:02,320 Speaker 1: Radio and Michel podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at 202 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:06,319 Speaker 1: Michael Tura Podcasts and follow me chick ees That's c 203 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:10,200 Speaker 1: h i q u i s. For more podcasts from 204 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:14,200 Speaker 1: My Heart, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, 205 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.