1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,360 Speaker 1: Hey, CUTI Misconnections. 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:05,680 Speaker 2: That was me staring There's only. 3 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:08,119 Speaker 1: Two places to find true love in this world. One 4 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:11,119 Speaker 1: is inside the abandoned pharmacy in front of the lotions 5 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:15,680 Speaker 1: and hemorrhoid cream. Oh, can you reply this for me? Please? 6 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:20,080 Speaker 1: The others on the pages of craigslist dot org. We 7 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,439 Speaker 1: scoured that website every week to find the best that 8 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:26,159 Speaker 1: misconnections has to offer, like this. One's first misconnection is 9 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:29,960 Speaker 1: titled you made me bigger at brunch man for woman. 10 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 2: Please tell me it's because you ate a lot of pancakes, please, 11 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:35,199 Speaker 2: He says. 12 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,280 Speaker 1: I was on my third mimosa chatting with my girlfriend 13 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:39,240 Speaker 1: when I saw you. 14 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 2: Oh man, already not starting with. 15 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:43,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, you and your curvy figure walked in the door 16 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,480 Speaker 1: with the confidence of Janet Jackson at a Super Bowl 17 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:47,920 Speaker 1: halftime show. 18 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 2: That's actually quite the compliment. 19 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:53,599 Speaker 1: Yeah, I couldn't help but stare as you sat down 20 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 1: at the table next to us, and I could tell 21 00:00:55,760 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: right away that you were an instant upgrade. Oh the 22 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:04,040 Speaker 1: girlfriend next to him. If you're wondering who I was, 23 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 1: you couldn't miss me. I was the dude with the 24 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,200 Speaker 1: backwards blue hat and the tank top that said I 25 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,160 Speaker 1: flexed and the sleeves exploded. 26 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:14,680 Speaker 2: Oh wow. 27 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 1: I wanted to check you out so hard, but I 28 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 1: didn't want my girlfriend to notice. Oh yeah, so I reached. 29 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:25,399 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's nothing like a guy flexing while drinking mimosas, 30 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 2: so I. 31 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:29,679 Speaker 1: Usually reposition my chair so your face was right over 32 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 1: my sweetheart's right shoulder. It was a very James Bond 33 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:38,120 Speaker 1: esque move, if I do say so. And every time 34 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:40,039 Speaker 1: you got up to go to the buffet, I made 35 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:43,839 Speaker 1: sure I got up too. At one point I told you, wow, 36 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:47,119 Speaker 1: those biscuits are hardy. I'd be really happy with those. 37 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,960 Speaker 1: And guess what, Yeah, I didn't mean the biscuits on 38 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:50,440 Speaker 1: your plate. 39 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 2: Thank you for explaining. 40 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 1: I was about to fist bump you over your summer 41 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 1: sausage selection, but I could tell my girlfriend was staring, 42 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:03,160 Speaker 1: so instead, I turned away and began fingering the strawberry 43 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 1: so she wouldn't be suspicious. 44 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:09,160 Speaker 2: Have a girlfriend, dude, She just looks, She looks over. 45 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,400 Speaker 1: What's he doing. Oh, he's just knuckled deep in the strawberry. 46 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 1: That's his favorite. Okay. I'd love to have you in 47 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,440 Speaker 1: my starting lineup and put my girlfriend on the bench. 48 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:23,399 Speaker 1: Oh if that works for you holla back girl. That's 49 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:26,160 Speaker 1: signed Chober in a shober. 50 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 2: I would say I appreciate his appreciation for a girl 51 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,160 Speaker 2: who loves the buffet, though, because he was one of 52 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 2: those ladies go up for thirds. 53 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:41,079 Speaker 1: That's a swipe right from Brook. This next misconnection is 54 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 1: titled you saw the darkness in my beauty and I 55 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:47,959 Speaker 1: saw the beauty in your darkness. A Woman for Man 56 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 1: twenty eight wedding. Uh oh wait, it says I met 57 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 1: you yesterday at my friend's goth wedding receptions. The darkness 58 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,880 Speaker 1: you were hanging out over by the black skull and 59 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:02,120 Speaker 1: crossbones wedding cake. This pretty sick I was the girl 60 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:05,480 Speaker 1: with the red corset and the full white out contact lenses, 61 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 1: so my irises looked ghostly pale. Who Your sullen mood 62 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,640 Speaker 1: intrigued me. So I walked over to you without making 63 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:16,400 Speaker 1: eye contact and muttered, I hate this wedding. You replied, 64 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 1: I know, isn't it beautiful? 65 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,880 Speaker 2: Do they just play like death metal on the dance 66 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:24,359 Speaker 2: floor too? It sounds like. 67 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,400 Speaker 1: It's like a giant panic in the disco music video. 68 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 2: Oh okay, yeah, Anyway, at. 69 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,760 Speaker 1: That point our eyes met and I felt the shadows 70 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:33,320 Speaker 1: of a thousand years, envelop my soul and take my 71 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:34,359 Speaker 1: youth hostage. 72 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good thing, right. 73 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 1: She's turned on. At that moment, the DJ played the 74 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 1: song Cha Cha Slide, and you asked. You asked if 75 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:46,120 Speaker 1: I wanted to dance. 76 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,560 Speaker 2: I love it. I love the golf wedding still like 77 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:52,200 Speaker 2: the Chaws. You think it's like remix myself. 78 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: I agreed, and soon we were hands in hand doing 79 00:03:56,080 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 1: the Devil's spider web on the dance floor. J Esper 80 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: shouted instructions at us. I yelled in your ear, pretend 81 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 1: we're dead zombies when we slide to the left. When 82 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 1: you agreed, I pledged to you right there that I 83 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 1: would catch the bouquet of dead roses for our future children. 84 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:19,720 Speaker 1: But then suddenly you said you had to leave. No, 85 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 1: was I moving too fast or did my spiked dog 86 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:25,080 Speaker 1: collar catch you in the wrong spot when I dove 87 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 1: between your legs? 88 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 2: Oh? Ouch? 89 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 1: All I know is this. I'm an angel seeking chaos 90 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:36,799 Speaker 1: and you're my demon seeking anarchy. Let's meet tomorrow evening 91 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 1: at seven pm inside the Jack in the Box. We 92 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:43,040 Speaker 1: can discuss our dark future over some seasoned curly fries. 93 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:44,880 Speaker 2: I feel like this guy needs to get back to her. 94 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 2: I mean, how many options does he have for dark angels? 95 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:48,560 Speaker 2: Is there a lot of us? 96 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 1: Signed Genova. This next misconnection is titled I was nervous 97 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,680 Speaker 1: to say Hi, but I did it and it was wonderful. 98 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:04,640 Speaker 1: Man for woman nineteen shopping mall his first crash. He says, 99 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 1: I was heading over to bils Bear when I walked 100 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 1: by your Kioska. You were the brown haired beauty selling 101 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:12,840 Speaker 1: bedazzled phone cases. 102 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 2: I've seen her. 103 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:18,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, Normally i'd be nervous to approach a woman like you, 104 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 1: but I just purchased an Affliction T shirt and the 105 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 1: salesperson said it would raise my confidence by at least 106 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:25,440 Speaker 1: twelve percent. 107 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:25,839 Speaker 2: Yeah. 108 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 1: Boy, So I sauntered up and smiled. But before I 109 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,440 Speaker 1: could even say hi, you began complaining about your job. 110 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 1: You told me the phone case kiosk was a huge 111 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 1: downgrade from the Crocs kiosk you worked out last week. 112 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:42,160 Speaker 2: Oh for sure, those things sell themselves. 113 00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 1: Yeah. And then right as we began to vibe, a 114 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,720 Speaker 1: mall security guy rudely interrupted us and asked if we 115 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 1: saw two chubby kids walk by with a stolen tiki 116 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 1: head bubble machine. I wish or I would have taken 117 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:58,919 Speaker 1: a picture. This sounds awesome. You shrugged and said, I 118 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:02,040 Speaker 1: don't know, probably, and then you pointed in the direction 119 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,800 Speaker 1: of the food court. He scooted off on his patrol 120 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,479 Speaker 1: segue while we laughed and mocked adults who ride on 121 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,800 Speaker 1: motorized carts. 122 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:11,480 Speaker 2: You come after those adults. 123 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 1: Eventually you told me your break was coming up and 124 00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:16,599 Speaker 1: agreed to meet me for a jamba juice. But you 125 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 1: never showed. Oh no. I even went back to your 126 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:23,120 Speaker 1: kiosk and there was a sign up saying probably gone 127 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:26,520 Speaker 1: for a long time, so I guess I couldn't wait 128 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:31,600 Speaker 1: around anyway. Hit me up. That's signed Hunter, Oh Hunter. 129 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,720 Speaker 2: Love can be hard, man. You stay hopeful out there. 130 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,920 Speaker 1: Those are your Craigslist misconnections. It's Brook and Jeffrey in 131 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:39,320 Speaker 1: the morning.