1
00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:04,080
Speaker 1: Dr Judith Orlov is a Board certified psychiatrist who specializes

2
00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:07,760
Speaker 1: in treating impaths and highly sensitive people. She is the

3
00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:11,800
Speaker 1: author of multiple books, including New York Times bestseller Emotional

4
00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:15,800
Speaker 1: Freedom and her current book, The Impath's Survival Guide. She

5
00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:20,360
Speaker 1: has been featured in The New York Times, OH Magazine, Forbes, USA, Today,

6
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:24,360
Speaker 1: Wall Street Journal, Self, Cosmo, and many more. She has

7
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,800
Speaker 1: also appeared on The Today Show, The Doctor Oz Show,

8
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,480
Speaker 1: CBS Early Show, CNN, and she even has her own

9
00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:33,040
Speaker 1: tad Talk. I have so much respect for her that

10
00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:36,200
Speaker 1: for me, this interview was like interviewing the biggest celebrity

11
00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:39,440
Speaker 1: in America. Dr Orlov's books have helped me to begin

12
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:42,760
Speaker 1: to understand the beauty of being a highly sensitive person

13
00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:46,160
Speaker 1: or EmPATH. I have never felt so seen or understood

14
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:47,960
Speaker 1: as I did reading the words of her book, The

15
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:51,640
Speaker 1: Impaths Survival Guide. We talk about the unique experience of

16
00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:56,160
Speaker 1: living life with open senses and sensory overload, why narcissists

17
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:59,840
Speaker 1: are often attracted to impaths, and what being an intuitive

18
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:04,000
Speaker 1: path truly means. Things like dreaming things before or as

19
00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,240
Speaker 1: they are happening, seeing the future, connecting with those who

20
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,119
Speaker 1: have crossed over and I even talked about which type

21
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:14,200
Speaker 1: of intuitive impath I identify with an experience regularly, which

22
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:20,440
Speaker 1: is something I've never told anyone else. Here's our conversation. Okay,

23
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,959
Speaker 1: so we can just go ahead and get started. UM.

24
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,040
Speaker 1: I have to tell you that when I first started

25
00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:27,800
Speaker 1: reading your book, The Impaths Through Level Guide, I was

26
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:32,920
Speaker 1: sobbing within the first four pages. Oh I have I've

27
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:37,280
Speaker 1: never I've always kind of thought maybe I had empathic tendencies,

28
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:40,760
Speaker 1: but I've never had someone explain it so well or

29
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:45,320
Speaker 1: put into words what I was feeling. Um, So thank you.

30
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:49,320
Speaker 1: That was it was much needed for me. Oh, you're

31
00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:52,360
Speaker 1: very welcome. I'm so glad that my words resonated. There

32
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,680
Speaker 1: are so many of us empaths out there that no,

33
00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:59,280
Speaker 1: we need to know we're not alone. Right. So you

34
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,960
Speaker 1: are a sort of five psychologists, but you're so passionate

35
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,040
Speaker 1: about the topic of impaths because you yourself or an

36
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,880
Speaker 1: EmPATH and you've had to learn some I'm actually a

37
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:13,320
Speaker 1: psychiatrist and empty so yeah, and so I'm also an EmPATH.

38
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:19,200
Speaker 1: So I combine my psychiatric skills with being an EmPATH,

39
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:24,000
Speaker 1: which is a perfect perfect combination. Um. But my process

40
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:27,160
Speaker 1: of becoming an EmPATH has an empowered EmPATH has been

41
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:30,040
Speaker 1: a long one because I grew up believing there was

42
00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:33,520
Speaker 1: something wrong with me, and I always fantasized that a

43
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,960
Speaker 1: spaceship would come and land in my front yard and

44
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,359
Speaker 1: take me away to my true home because I didn't

45
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:41,640
Speaker 1: really connect, you know, to other people or know any

46
00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:44,200
Speaker 1: other EmPATH growing up. What do you mean you felt

47
00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:48,519
Speaker 1: like something was wrong with you? I felt that my

48
00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:53,960
Speaker 1: ability to um sense energy or be intuitive, or to

49
00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:59,320
Speaker 1: be so sensitive to light, smells, sounds, talking, or being

50
00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:02,400
Speaker 1: able to door but other people's emotions into my own body,

51
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:06,160
Speaker 1: I didn't know what was going on. And so my parents,

52
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,800
Speaker 1: who are both physicians, told me, oh, dear, you just

53
00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:12,720
Speaker 1: need to get a thicker skin, and oh, you're overly sensitive,

54
00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:15,760
Speaker 1: which made me feel like there was something wrong with

55
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:19,280
Speaker 1: me UM. And so, you know, I grew up you know,

56
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:23,240
Speaker 1: feeling you know, not seen with the capital s and

57
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,600
Speaker 1: empass needs to be seen. Empathic children need to be seen.

58
00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:31,560
Speaker 1: They need to be guided and nurtured and encouraged and educated.

59
00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:34,120
Speaker 1: And I had none of that, even though both my

60
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,680
Speaker 1: parents were physicians and I come from twenty five physicians

61
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:42,440
Speaker 1: in my family. UM, I felt alone, And I think

62
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:46,320
Speaker 1: that's the common feeling that many empathic children have, and

63
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,920
Speaker 1: I write about that in the em Past Survival Guide,

64
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:55,600
Speaker 1: how many empathic children just feel so isolated and don't

65
00:03:55,680 --> 00:04:00,280
Speaker 1: connect and withdraw inside of themselves. And so it's just

66
00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,040
Speaker 1: I bring this up because it's a very common experience.

67
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:06,160
Speaker 1: If you identify as an EmPATH. Here's an emotional sponge

68
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:10,200
Speaker 1: who tends to be very sensitive and loving and open.

69
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:15,240
Speaker 1: But you take on the angst in the stress of

70
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:18,320
Speaker 1: other people you know as well as the positive. You

71
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:22,479
Speaker 1: resonate with the positive. But the EmPATH don't have the

72
00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:26,680
Speaker 1: normal filters that people have, and so we feel everything right.

73
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:31,000
Speaker 1: Can you explain what the difference between just having empathy

74
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:36,320
Speaker 1: and being an EmPATH are? Yeah. Empathy is that beautiful,

75
00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:39,680
Speaker 1: precious quality of being able to have your heart go

76
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:43,200
Speaker 1: out to somebody enjoy or in pain, and to really

77
00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:47,040
Speaker 1: feel for them and their experiences. But being an EmPATH

78
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:50,440
Speaker 1: goes further than that. You feel for them, but then

79
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,560
Speaker 1: you actually can take it on in your own body

80
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:58,080
Speaker 1: where you almost become them and EmPATH. One of the

81
00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:01,160
Speaker 1: tools I talked about in my book are so essential

82
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:05,919
Speaker 1: is how not to take on other people's stress, emotions

83
00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:09,479
Speaker 1: or anything else they're experiencing, you know, and how to

84
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,839
Speaker 1: hold the space for someone but not take on the stress.

85
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,320
Speaker 1: That's a powerful tool for empaths to learn, and most

86
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:20,359
Speaker 1: of them don't learn unless they get specific education. And

87
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,599
Speaker 1: that's why I wrote the book, because this liberates. Once

88
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:26,960
Speaker 1: you learn these tools, your life becomes amazing and you

89
00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:31,359
Speaker 1: can experience the gifts of being an EmPATH. Intuition, the

90
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:38,279
Speaker 1: connection to nature, the passion for living, sensuality um, creativity um,

91
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,719
Speaker 1: being able to sense and know things about people and

92
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,520
Speaker 1: the earth, you know, all of that. It's so much

93
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:48,159
Speaker 1: fun and it's I so enjoy being an EmPATH. But

94
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,800
Speaker 1: if you, you know, if everyone wants to enjoy the

95
00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:55,160
Speaker 1: beautiful parts of it, you have to learn self care

96
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:59,120
Speaker 1: strategies in order to put them into practice so that

97
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:03,400
Speaker 1: you don't or other people's stuff. Right when you you

98
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:07,280
Speaker 1: talked about just the weight of that, and that was

99
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,120
Speaker 1: kind of I think why I started crying when I

100
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:12,160
Speaker 1: was first reading the book, because for so many years

101
00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:15,320
Speaker 1: I felt that like taking on other people's emotions. But

102
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,440
Speaker 1: you can't really explain that to someone else who doesn't

103
00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:22,119
Speaker 1: feel that without sounding For me, I felt like without

104
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:25,839
Speaker 1: sounding crazy, like I just I would come home. I

105
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:27,560
Speaker 1: travel a lot for work, and I would come home

106
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,200
Speaker 1: from these trips and I mean it would take me

107
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,520
Speaker 1: days to recover. And it's because I was constantly with

108
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:36,240
Speaker 1: people and taking on their emotions and like all of

109
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:37,960
Speaker 1: the weight of that. Even if I'm in a really

110
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:41,040
Speaker 1: good place in my life, I can hear I can

111
00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:43,240
Speaker 1: be around someone who's going through something and have to

112
00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:46,080
Speaker 1: take days to like grieve that or feel that or

113
00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:51,680
Speaker 1: all of those things because I'm carrying their emotions exactly exactly.

114
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,919
Speaker 1: And what it's so liberating to learn is if you

115
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,839
Speaker 1: notice that you're starting to take on somebody else's stuff.

116
00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:00,800
Speaker 1: Let's say you're with a client and you're up their anger,

117
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:05,279
Speaker 1: you're picking up there o physical symptoms of some sort,

118
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,480
Speaker 1: or their their anxiety. Then you can immediately at that

119
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,000
Speaker 1: point we begin to breathe it out, begin to take

120
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:14,800
Speaker 1: step not to take it on, because by this, let's

121
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,400
Speaker 1: say you're out on the road for a week working

122
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:19,320
Speaker 1: on a project. By the end of that week, you

123
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,440
Speaker 1: might be a wreck because you're absorbing so much stuff

124
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,760
Speaker 1: from everybody, And then it can take days, you know,

125
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:30,000
Speaker 1: or even weeks to recover. Exactly well. You you describe

126
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,560
Speaker 1: a lot that the impacts are sensitive people. I think

127
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,160
Speaker 1: even on the cover of the book it's as life

128
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,840
Speaker 1: strategies for sensitive people. But when I think about sensitive,

129
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,680
Speaker 1: I think kind of like what your parents are saying,

130
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:42,320
Speaker 1: like you need to grow a thicker skin. And I

131
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,480
Speaker 1: think a lot of times that's kind of how it's

132
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:47,000
Speaker 1: interpreted in our world. You know, like you just think

133
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,880
Speaker 1: about sensitive like getting your feelings hurt easily. Um, But

134
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:56,600
Speaker 1: what does that mean sensitive in regards to an impact

135
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,720
Speaker 1: or being etastic? Are the traits that are going to

136
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,720
Speaker 1: say the world. I mean, I feel really passionate about

137
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,280
Speaker 1: it that's going on, you know, writing about it and

138
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:08,520
Speaker 1: talking about it, is giving workshops on it. But I

139
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:11,679
Speaker 1: I think that this quality in all human beings, except

140
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:15,480
Speaker 1: for maybe a few like narcissists or sociopaths or psychopaths,

141
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:20,520
Speaker 1: because they don't have empathy, that they have empathy deficient disorder. Um.

142
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:23,880
Speaker 1: The empathy inside of you, Your ability to feel for

143
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:27,960
Speaker 1: somebody else, um and see their point of view and

144
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:31,360
Speaker 1: see that it's not us versus them but just one

145
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:34,880
Speaker 1: human family. That's what empathy lets you know, and that

146
00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:39,400
Speaker 1: will save everything. It'll save your relationships. It'll save the planet,

147
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:44,320
Speaker 1: It'll save you because you're not always you know, saying

148
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:47,640
Speaker 1: oh it's that terrible person out there. You know. It's

149
00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:51,200
Speaker 1: about how can I be more loving and centered and

150
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:56,760
Speaker 1: strong and um passionate and follow through with my dreams

151
00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:02,040
Speaker 1: without taking on my clients, stuff, my coworkers, stuff, myselfs

152
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,480
Speaker 1: so you know, my children, how do how do I

153
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:09,360
Speaker 1: do that? And that's you know, what the Empast Survival

154
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:12,040
Speaker 1: Guide is about, and also thriving as an EmPATH, which

155
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:14,840
Speaker 1: is self care strategies every day of the year, two

156
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,840
Speaker 1: or sixty five days and what to do on January one,

157
00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:22,440
Speaker 1: what to do on June seventeen. Let to do around

158
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:26,040
Speaker 1: the holidays, you know, when it gets super stressful and

159
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:29,000
Speaker 1: there's so many, so many crowds out there, and people

160
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:32,800
Speaker 1: are getting the impassed just at a horrible time because

161
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:36,680
Speaker 1: they impass also tend to like one to one interactions

162
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:42,240
Speaker 1: or small groups rather than large crowded stadiums or crowded

163
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:45,600
Speaker 1: shopping malls. You know, we tend to absorb the energy

164
00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:49,520
Speaker 1: and crowded places because there's so many people there, um

165
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:52,839
Speaker 1: and so over the holidays in particular, empass needs to

166
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:56,719
Speaker 1: learn to follow their own intuition and you know, be

167
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,400
Speaker 1: with one person, be with your animals, do whatever you

168
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,959
Speaker 1: want at these don't have to go out and big

169
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:05,080
Speaker 1: crowds necessarily, you know, buy if you're going to buy presents,

170
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:07,640
Speaker 1: buy them online. I don't know, but there are lots

171
00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:12,600
Speaker 1: of lots of loving kind of strategies to practice over

172
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,840
Speaker 1: times that are particularly over social, with a lot of

173
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:22,160
Speaker 1: expectations to fit in a particular way of being. Right, Well,

174
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,319
Speaker 1: if impats are going to save the world, let's talk

175
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:27,440
Speaker 1: about how people become impats are our impaths? Because I

176
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:32,080
Speaker 1: have so many questions about this. Um Is it something

177
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,800
Speaker 1: because there's a lot in the book about you know,

178
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,760
Speaker 1: children who go through trauma, or maybe children who grew

179
00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:43,360
Speaker 1: up in alcoholic families, possibly bringing or adopting some of

180
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,880
Speaker 1: those characteristics of an impath because you have to kind

181
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:48,840
Speaker 1: of guess people's emotions all the time and all of

182
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,040
Speaker 1: those kind of things. But is this something you're born

183
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:53,840
Speaker 1: with or do you learn it? Or is it both?

184
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,960
Speaker 1: Like how does that work? Yeah? It can, It depends

185
00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:00,480
Speaker 1: on the case. I mean, some children are born then path.

186
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,480
Speaker 1: When I did my medical training at USC, I was

187
00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:07,440
Speaker 1: working O. B. G. Y N and no and deliver babies,

188
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:11,120
Speaker 1: and babies come out so differently. Some are like little

189
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:15,880
Speaker 1: Buddhist sensing and feeling, and others are like more closed

190
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:19,800
Speaker 1: and more protected, more guarded. It's just so interesting. So

191
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,240
Speaker 1: I think genetics has a lot to do with it.

192
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:26,480
Speaker 1: What we bring into this life when we're born. Sometimes

193
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:29,400
Speaker 1: the birth experience can affect it. If you have a

194
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:33,680
Speaker 1: traumatic birth, you know that that can already begin to

195
00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:38,120
Speaker 1: break down your barriers. Traumatic birth is what happens at birth.

196
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:42,240
Speaker 1: It's really important. You know, how we enter this very

197
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,280
Speaker 1: coarse life, you know, the earth point and how we

198
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:49,679
Speaker 1: enter this from where we were before, you know, is critical,

199
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:55,000
Speaker 1: and so that can affect our sensitivities and so it

200
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:59,160
Speaker 1: can be genetic, it can be environmental. Um you could

201
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:03,160
Speaker 1: have impacted parents and you could learn to be empathic

202
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:06,040
Speaker 1: that way. That's the positive side of you know, having

203
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:09,280
Speaker 1: empathic parents, as you can learn empathy and they could

204
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,760
Speaker 1: support empathy in view. But let's say you have an

205
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:16,840
Speaker 1: alcoholic parents or an arcissistic parent, then you probably weren't

206
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:20,480
Speaker 1: seen as a little girl or a little boy, and

207
00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:25,920
Speaker 1: so you're beautiful talent of empathy and sensitivity and intuitions

208
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:31,240
Speaker 1: were not seen, and probably they were denigrated and squashed now,

209
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:35,160
Speaker 1: which is a trauma in and of itself. And so

210
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:40,520
Speaker 1: a lot of empaths grow up and have ptsd um,

211
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:46,000
Speaker 1: either from actual emotional or physical abuse or just from

212
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:49,720
Speaker 1: not being seen and not being recognized for who you are.

213
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,840
Speaker 1: That can cause a sort of trauma as well that

214
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,120
Speaker 1: needs to be healed as an adult, and of course

215
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:58,199
Speaker 1: it can be healed. And so much of it has

216
00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:02,360
Speaker 1: to do with inner child work, in reclaiming that beautiful

217
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:06,000
Speaker 1: child who has left somewhere and somehow in your past

218
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:10,800
Speaker 1: wherever the trauma occurred, and the work that I do

219
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,960
Speaker 1: with patients, and also in thriving as an EmPATH. I

220
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:18,280
Speaker 1: have a technique of reclaiming going back, doing a visualization

221
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,520
Speaker 1: going back and reclaiming that beautiful empathic child is stuck

222
00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:25,400
Speaker 1: in some house that you lived in, and so you

223
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:27,720
Speaker 1: need to go back and find the house where the

224
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:31,559
Speaker 1: trauma happened and reclaim the child, bring the child back

225
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:35,360
Speaker 1: home with you now, and say I will never allow

226
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,640
Speaker 1: you to be hurt again like that. So it's powerful.

227
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:42,440
Speaker 1: I'm making it short, but it's powerful inner child work

228
00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:47,000
Speaker 1: that many empaths need to do to reclaim it's almost

229
00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:50,560
Speaker 1: like a lost part of their their souls or empathic child,

230
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,440
Speaker 1: you know, and bring that back into their life now,

231
00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:58,800
Speaker 1: which is so exciting, you know and wonderful and deliberating. Right,

232
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,520
Speaker 1: what's the difference is or is there a difference between

233
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:05,319
Speaker 1: that kind of EmPATH healing and just maybe a person

234
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:08,440
Speaker 1: who doesn't identify as an impath who grew up in

235
00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:15,000
Speaker 1: a dysfunctional household or is it a similar process. It's similar,

236
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:18,079
Speaker 1: but the dynamics are a bit different because the EmPATH

237
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:22,480
Speaker 1: child is if you can imagine a sponge or just

238
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:27,760
Speaker 1: an open system, you know, without any barriers, without any filters,

239
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,840
Speaker 1: and you can imagine how the intensity of the experience

240
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:35,520
Speaker 1: is upped. And plus the the EmPATH child often wants

241
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,960
Speaker 1: to make it better for the parents because the EmPATH

242
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:42,360
Speaker 1: empaths want to help, They want to make it better,

243
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,320
Speaker 1: and so the impath child often takes on try, you know,

244
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,360
Speaker 1: the anxiety of the parents. You know, I did that

245
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,920
Speaker 1: with my mother. She was very anxious and I would

246
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,520
Speaker 1: hold her hand and that energy would go into me.

247
00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,920
Speaker 1: And so as an adult, you know, I've really had

248
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:58,760
Speaker 1: to work in my own healing process about you know

249
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,600
Speaker 1: that was my mother and me and to have clear

250
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:05,160
Speaker 1: boundaries with that. But you know that's the work that

251
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:12,720
Speaker 1: some empaths need to do depending on their parenting. Right. Sorry, Oh,

252
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,920
Speaker 1: it's all possible. You know, all of this is so

253
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,040
Speaker 1: doable and it's so liberating. But these are just some

254
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,400
Speaker 1: of the dynamics that you know, I work with as

255
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:23,840
Speaker 1: a psychiatrist with my patients and I write about UM

256
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:26,760
Speaker 1: and they're also doable because when you begin to work

257
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,800
Speaker 1: with self healing in this way, you are free. Now

258
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:32,360
Speaker 1: you don't have all that way on you anymore. And

259
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:34,800
Speaker 1: if you learn how not to take on other people's

260
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:38,600
Speaker 1: stuff and you really practice, not a lot is liberating

261
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,280
Speaker 1: in and of itself, right, And you have so many

262
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:44,640
Speaker 1: UM scenarios and techniques in the book of just little

263
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:48,080
Speaker 1: visualizations you can do while you're in the moment. I mean,

264
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,240
Speaker 1: for me, that's such a huge thing. Even when you're

265
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,640
Speaker 1: talking about your experience with your mother. I mean, I

266
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:58,400
Speaker 1: think for years I've been carrying so many different emotions

267
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:02,680
Speaker 1: that probably aren't even line and through this process of healing,

268
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,440
Speaker 1: I mean, and it's it's just it's such a big

269
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:09,200
Speaker 1: weight you don't even realize, like how exhausting, that is.

270
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,440
Speaker 1: But the chronic fatigue that you talk about a lot

271
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:14,160
Speaker 1: in the book, that is something I identified with so much,

272
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:17,000
Speaker 1: because no matter what I do or how much sleep

273
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,040
Speaker 1: I get, I feel that. And I think it's from

274
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:24,880
Speaker 1: carrying the weight of emotions. Yeah, it probably is. And

275
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:28,880
Speaker 1: so what's so helpful is to journal about you know,

276
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:32,160
Speaker 1: maybe two or three people from your childhood where you

277
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,240
Speaker 1: think you took on their stuff. Was it your mother,

278
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:37,760
Speaker 1: was it your sister with a friend, you know, and

279
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,880
Speaker 1: really begin to sort through what it's really me, what

280
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:44,000
Speaker 1: is really them? And then do I have a chord

281
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:48,280
Speaker 1: cutting visualization in both books Actually and Thriving as an

282
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:52,440
Speaker 1: EmPATH where you can cut the chord energetically between yourself

283
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,800
Speaker 1: and that person. And it doesn't mean you cut off

284
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,880
Speaker 1: the relationship. It means you cut off the bond to

285
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:03,880
Speaker 1: whatever is dream you like anxiety. And it's really useful,

286
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,439
Speaker 1: it really works, but you have to be ready. Yes,

287
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,399
Speaker 1: you say, impacts feel things first and then they think,

288
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:13,040
Speaker 1: which is the opposite of how most people function in

289
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:16,840
Speaker 1: our over intellectualized society. So can you tell me more

290
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:23,320
Speaker 1: about how an impath processes processes different scenarios differently than

291
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,840
Speaker 1: you know, a normal person or a person who isn't

292
00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:30,800
Speaker 1: empathetic normal? What is normal? Yes, the impast feel empaths

293
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:35,960
Speaker 1: are you know, have invisible penrols, just open feeling that

294
00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:39,880
Speaker 1: the world's impacts speak the language of energy, subtle energy,

295
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:44,680
Speaker 1: which Chinese medical practitioners called she or shocked e um.

296
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:48,040
Speaker 1: It's the invisible energy that you know in yoga you

297
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:53,360
Speaker 1: activate it in the body with certain asaunas. So it's

298
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:58,159
Speaker 1: energy and the body that impasts are exquisitely attuned to,

299
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,800
Speaker 1: and they begins the world. They approach the world from

300
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:06,280
Speaker 1: this energetic standpoint. They don't think their way through the world.

301
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,960
Speaker 1: They feel their way through the world. First of all.

302
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,600
Speaker 1: I mean they also have good intellects, but their first

303
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,960
Speaker 1: way is to feel somebody as opposed to analyze what

304
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:20,480
Speaker 1: they're saying or keeping an intellectual distance. If you stand

305
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:24,720
Speaker 1: next to somebody in pain, unfortunately, many an pastis sit

306
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:27,000
Speaker 1: there and their hearts go out and they take it on.

307
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:31,560
Speaker 1: Or they're going by a homeless you know, community, and

308
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:35,360
Speaker 1: they look look at it and the anguish there they

309
00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:39,320
Speaker 1: take on into themselves, you know. And and so that's

310
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:43,240
Speaker 1: just how m past approach the world. So it's important

311
00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:48,359
Speaker 1: to learn very clear boundaries, you know, with what you

312
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,280
Speaker 1: do and who you look deeply and into their eyes.

313
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,600
Speaker 1: You know, you don't want to look deeply into everybody's

314
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,600
Speaker 1: eyes because then you know, you'll pick up a lot

315
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:59,320
Speaker 1: of stuff that is none of your business. And so

316
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:03,879
Speaker 1: it's important to keep clear boundaries with you and other people.

317
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,280
Speaker 1: I mean just last night, for instance, Um, I was

318
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:10,520
Speaker 1: out to dinner with a friend and somebody came over

319
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,160
Speaker 1: and I was introduced to them, and they reached out

320
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:14,920
Speaker 1: their hand to shake my hand, and I just said,

321
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,600
Speaker 1: you know, I don't really shake hands, and they said, okay,

322
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:20,080
Speaker 1: you no. But the reason I don't is I don't

323
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,960
Speaker 1: want to feel their energy. You know, I don't wanna.

324
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:25,639
Speaker 1: I just don't want to deal with it. It's an

325
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:29,280
Speaker 1: intimacy and I'm not interested in the strangers. So it's

326
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,120
Speaker 1: just the choice they made. So you can pick up

327
00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:36,400
Speaker 1: stuff just by shaking someone's hand, Yeah, and past can

328
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,639
Speaker 1: that's a there's a shocker and the poem that sends

329
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:44,000
Speaker 1: out so much energy and so yeah, either through the hand,

330
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:49,359
Speaker 1: through hugging, through eye contact, and so empass needs to

331
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:53,080
Speaker 1: be discerning, not paranoid, but discerning about you know, who

332
00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:55,399
Speaker 1: you want to hug, you know, who you want to

333
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,160
Speaker 1: look deep into their eyes. You don't want to look

334
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:01,679
Speaker 1: into everybody's eyes because then you connect to their souls basically,

335
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,320
Speaker 1: and you pick up stuff. No, or you know, how

336
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,159
Speaker 1: much do you want to hug somebody? How much do

337
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,040
Speaker 1: you want to shake their hands? It's all it's all

338
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,680
Speaker 1: to you. And you know, in society, we're not used

339
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:16,359
Speaker 1: to having these kinds of conversations. The boundary set just

340
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,000
Speaker 1: they're afraid of. You know, the person will think I'm

341
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:24,159
Speaker 1: impolite or they won't like me. Um. But in my experience,

342
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:27,520
Speaker 1: that isn't what happens. It's just so not used to.

343
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,480
Speaker 1: It's not used to. And I say it's so matter

344
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:33,119
Speaker 1: of factly and lovingly. People usually just go okay, and

345
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,800
Speaker 1: that's it. I mean maybe they talk about it afterwards.

346
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,840
Speaker 1: I don't know, but you know, I'm good with it.

347
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,720
Speaker 1: I don't say it like I'm afraid of being judged.

348
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,680
Speaker 1: I say it like this is my boundary and please

349
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,719
Speaker 1: respect it. I mean, you've had a lot of practice though,

350
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:51,040
Speaker 1: right because I'm listening to you say that and I'm

351
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:54,280
Speaker 1: thinking of myself, and there's been there's like a specific

352
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:57,520
Speaker 1: instance I'm thinking of where a friend of mine was

353
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 1: dating a guy who the second he talked in the room,

354
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:04,560
Speaker 1: I got um, I couldn't shut it off, Like the

355
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,800
Speaker 1: energy was so bad to me that I was I

356
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,479
Speaker 1: just started reacting when I would, but my reaction was

357
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:14,000
Speaker 1: so big and so kind of inappropriate. I felt like

358
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,639
Speaker 1: then I felt embarrassed, and I felt bad for my

359
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:20,359
Speaker 1: friend later. But so, how did you learn how to

360
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 1: do what you just described? Um? Just self protection and

361
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,840
Speaker 1: self care? Yeah, why I I feel I wrote this

362
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 1: whole book driving as an EmPATH on self care tickings.

363
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:35,800
Speaker 1: If you have to learn what your truth is, and

364
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,800
Speaker 1: it's not always If I could change as an EmPATH,

365
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 1: my sensitivity is very each day. Some days I'm more sensitive,

366
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,560
Speaker 1: or if I'm tired, I have to take more care

367
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:49,440
Speaker 1: of myself that are care of myself. Um. But it's

368
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:52,440
Speaker 1: just a form of listening to your body. And so

369
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:55,360
Speaker 1: I've learned, you know, I've learned how to take care

370
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,639
Speaker 1: of myself so I could go out with people and

371
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:03,120
Speaker 1: enjoy them, you know, and it just takes some practice.

372
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 1: I sometimes work with my patients where you know, I'm

373
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,680
Speaker 1: I'm the stranger, I'm the person out in the world

374
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 1: and they're learning how the sick founders with me, you know,

375
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 1: so they could get practice, so you could practice with friends,

376
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,960
Speaker 1: and I'm saying, you know, no, I'm not able to

377
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,920
Speaker 1: go out, and I thank you for the invitations, you know.

378
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,120
Speaker 1: Or if you're in an environment, like you said, where

379
00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:23,800
Speaker 1: the energy was bad, where you could excuse yourself, go

380
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:27,760
Speaker 1: into the bathroom, meditate for a few minutes, center yourself,

381
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:31,520
Speaker 1: and come into that environment in the more sensored place. Yeah,

382
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 1: you know, so you learned these little tricks and they

383
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,120
Speaker 1: make a huge difference. That would have been a lot

384
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,800
Speaker 1: better way to deal with it than I did. Yeah,

385
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,000
Speaker 1: this was something that was super eye opening for me.

386
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,920
Speaker 1: But you talked about just bright lights and loud noises,

387
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:51,120
Speaker 1: how they can almost be painful, and I've always had

388
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,800
Speaker 1: or I guess it's just that we're we're just our

389
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,879
Speaker 1: senses are so much stronger because like I have to

390
00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:00,439
Speaker 1: have especially for sleep, it is a whole process for me.

391
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,600
Speaker 1: Of there can't be any light, it has to have

392
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,119
Speaker 1: I have to have a sound machine so I have

393
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:11,159
Speaker 1: consistent noise. I'm very sensitive to smells, like I can't

394
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:14,800
Speaker 1: handle or I smell something very fast that people would

395
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:19,280
Speaker 1: never smell for you know, at all, even um my

396
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:22,199
Speaker 1: phone ringer, I cannot ever have it on. It just

397
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 1: gives me anxiety, like the sound of that consistently coming

398
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,679
Speaker 1: into my space. And that is just that was so

399
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,880
Speaker 1: interesting because I've always just thought I didn't even think

400
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 1: about it. I just thought that was I didn't think

401
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:38,840
Speaker 1: about why I was like that. But what is that? Um,

402
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,959
Speaker 1: it's just a sense your sensitivity is turned up so

403
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:46,320
Speaker 1: that these things that you know, you that feel on

404
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:49,320
Speaker 1: a higher volume than other people to you. You know,

405
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,879
Speaker 1: a lot of people are not walk around them or

406
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 1: they you know, are in their heads and when they're

407
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:56,479
Speaker 1: in they're just in their heads all the time. They

408
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:59,959
Speaker 1: don't they don't respond in the same way as somebody

409
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 1: who's more embodied and you know it has has more sensitivity.

410
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:07,399
Speaker 1: But the secret is to honor that. You know, s

411
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 1: and m path, there's nothing wrong with you. You're not

412
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:13,920
Speaker 1: quote overly sensitive. You need to have a beautiful house

413
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,879
Speaker 1: with low lighting. You need to have the you know,

414
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 1: the tone turned off or down, or have some beautiful chimes,

415
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: you know, instead of a horrible ring. Um. You know,

416
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 1: you need to have smells that are nice to you.

417
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,160
Speaker 1: You know, in your environment. So these are self pair

418
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:35,040
Speaker 1: techniques and if it. Empaths have a particularly strong sense

419
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:38,520
Speaker 1: of smell, and so you know, let's say you go

420
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:42,480
Speaker 1: into an elevator and it's skilled as perfume. To too

421
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:45,960
Speaker 1: many empaths, you can feel like you're being supitated so

422
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 1: strong and awful, and to other people they might say, oh,

423
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:52,080
Speaker 1: what a nice smell you see so And I just

424
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,879
Speaker 1: want to say, everyone listening, being an EmPATH it's not

425
00:24:54,960 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 1: better or worse than anything else. It's just a particular person, reality,

426
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,640
Speaker 1: type and way of being in the world that has

427
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 1: gotten that hasn't been honored. And that's why I feel

428
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:11,640
Speaker 1: so strongly about honoring it. So that people are pathologized.

429
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 1: Many many empacts come to me. They've been to psychiatrists,

430
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:20,159
Speaker 1: they've been diagnosed with panic disorder, major depression, you know,

431
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 1: all kinds of things, chronic fatiguing, bibo mayalgia, and they

432
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 1: might have all these things, you know, so called diagnosed,

433
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 1: you know, the diagnostostic categories, but the underlying diagnosis of

434
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 1: being an impact was not made and so there was

435
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:40,919
Speaker 1: no technique given to the to these people to work

436
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,960
Speaker 1: with not absorbing other people stuff. And when you're on

437
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:48,359
Speaker 1: sensory overload all the time, which happens with many impacts,

438
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 1: meaning they're just maxed out with their senses. Then the

439
00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:56,439
Speaker 1: stress hormone begin to flow, and then the adrenal glands

440
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 1: begin to overwork and they tend to get adrenal fatigue,

441
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,879
Speaker 1: and so you know, it's a vicious cycle. But once

442
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 1: you learn how to turn down the excessive sensory input, oh,

443
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 1: it just feels so good, you know, and you're not

444
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 1: on overload which is so painful, you know, and most

445
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:18,919
Speaker 1: of the time you're feeling really wonderful, you know, and

446
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:22,640
Speaker 1: you can modulate the sensory input that comes in as

447
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:27,399
Speaker 1: opposed to just medicating it. They're like most psychiatric you know,

448
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 1: people do well. Speaking of medicating, you also mentioned that

449
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:35,199
Speaker 1: addiction is very prevalent among impasts. Is it because of

450
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,439
Speaker 1: the sensory overload or we're just trying to turn that

451
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 1: stuff down. Well, sensory overload has a huge role in it.

452
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 1: And you know, many people become alcohol ecthoratics, and you

453
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 1: know that they go into recovery and they're also recovering

454
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:54,879
Speaker 1: impacts because you know, empacts who have addictive tendencies turned

455
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 1: through drugs and alcohol or food, sex, no any anything addictive,

456
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 1: so no amounts their sensitivity. And so you know, there's

457
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 1: a chapter in the EmPATH Survival God on EmPATH and

458
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 1: addiction and fluid addiction in particular, it has many empaths

459
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 1: get really really fat because they need the armor to

460
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:20,920
Speaker 1: protect themselves from the negative energy they're picking up. And

461
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say many, I would say some. So it's

462
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:30,480
Speaker 1: like a physical shield. You mean that the armor, the

463
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:35,040
Speaker 1: fat provides armors so you don't feel as much. There's

464
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 1: just more mass between you and the world. And does

465
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 1: old time psychic heelers around the turn of the century

466
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:45,919
Speaker 1: where typically really really obest women. They weighed three or

467
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 1: four hundred pounds, and they claim they needed to have

468
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 1: that weight on them in order to do their psychic

469
00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:53,119
Speaker 1: work so that they didn't take on the pain of

470
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:57,919
Speaker 1: their clients. Mm hmm. No, I don't believe that you

471
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 1: need to weight on you and I know pretty sin.

472
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,360
Speaker 1: But you know, there's a section in the book on

473
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 1: impounds and food with you know, a bunch of techniques

474
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:14,359
Speaker 1: to use other than eating to protect yourself. Let's talk

475
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 1: about empaths and relationships, because this was a super mind

476
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:23,920
Speaker 1: blowing section to me. Um, you mentioned that a lot

477
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:30,879
Speaker 1: of impaths are attracted to unavailable people. Why right, Well,

478
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:35,360
Speaker 1: most fantasts who comes to me, let's say, they want

479
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 1: to find their soul mate or they want to find,

480
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,480
Speaker 1: you know, somebody to really connect to us on a

481
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,280
Speaker 1: deep level. And yet they can't find anybody. And so

482
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 1: you know, why is it u um? You know, people say, oh,

483
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 1: they're just not a lot of good men and women

484
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 1: out there. That's a line the huge recently and you know,

485
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 1: yes and no, um, because empacts unknowingly like on a

486
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 1: elable people, because they won't get overloaded by the experience

487
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,600
Speaker 1: that intimacy if they haven't learned to navigate that. So

488
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:12,640
Speaker 1: if they're constantly wondering why this guy hasn't called, you

489
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 1: know on a deep level, that's a lot safer than

490
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 1: being in an intimate relationship and having to talk with

491
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 1: them about I need my alone time and this doesn't

492
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 1: you know, mean that I don't love you, you know,

493
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 1: having those kinds of conversations because they don't really know

494
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 1: how to have that. And in any relationships, you need

495
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:33,360
Speaker 1: to protect your personal space. You need to map out

496
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 1: alone time. You may not even want to live with

497
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 1: a person, and you might not want to have separate

498
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 1: homes or separate wings or separate bedrooms. There's a whole

499
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:44,040
Speaker 1: new paradigm of how to be together in a couple.

500
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 1: If you're an impact that I talked about in the

501
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:51,520
Speaker 1: em Past Survival Guy, and it's important to read about

502
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 1: those questions that you need to bring up with a mate.

503
00:29:54,440 --> 00:30:01,120
Speaker 1: So relationships aren't proper with too much togetherness, task get overloaded.

504
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 1: I could never be with somebody all the time. It

505
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 1: was driving insane to be with somebody constantly because I

506
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 1: need I need my a long time. I need to

507
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 1: have my separate space I wanted. I've been living with

508
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 1: someone for six years, and you know it works because

509
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 1: he's able to hear my feedback. You know, if I

510
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 1: need to be alone, if I need to sleep alone,

511
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,640
Speaker 1: if I need to go in the backhouse, if I

512
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 1: need not to talk, UM, if I'm feeling overloaded and

513
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 1: it's not the best time to have a conversation. UM.

514
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 1: They are all kinds of issues that come up. You know,

515
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,480
Speaker 1: if I want to leave a social events because you

516
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 1: know I'm maxed out, and he's not an emtitact, so

517
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 1: he doesn't respond in the same way that I do,

518
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 1: Thank God. Well, I was just going to ask that,

519
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 1: do you see two impast being together more often than not?

520
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 1: Or do you see one EmPATH and one non EmPATH

521
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 1: like what seems to be more common? Its all personal preference.

522
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 1: Some EmPATH prefer each other, and some empaths like we

523
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 1: prefer non EmPATH. No, there's a type of person that

524
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:19,240
Speaker 1: I talked about in the book called the rock. Somebody

525
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:22,080
Speaker 1: who's strong and steady and it isn't swayed by the

526
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 1: winds of life, and it's just you know, maybe you know,

527
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 1: it doesn't have that extreme empathy, but they have a

528
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 1: good heart. You know. I did best with that type. No,

529
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 1: as opposed to someone is feeling something right that seems

530
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 1: like it would be major hand. Yeah, too much for me,

531
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 1: would be too much, you know. Sometimes for me, I

532
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 1: want to connect to people in that way like the

533
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 1: one another impath, in the way that we can understand

534
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 1: each other. But you're right, like, if I think about it,

535
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 1: in a relationship, some times I need someone to pull

536
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:03,960
Speaker 1: me kind of out of all of the feelings and

537
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 1: not be as quite as emotional or as sensitive as

538
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 1: I am. Right right, the ground is yeah, yeah, exactly. Um,

539
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 1: so energy vampires are also another part of the relationship

540
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 1: aspect of this book. This was fascinating to me. You

541
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 1: say narcissists are attracted to impasse. Oh, there's a toxic

542
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 1: attraction between narcissists and empasts. And in the chapter on

543
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:35,680
Speaker 1: empasts and well, um, narcissists full blown let's say, full

544
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 1: blown narcissists, not just those of narcissistic traits. Full blown

545
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 1: narcissists are not capable of empathy. They have what's called

546
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:47,400
Speaker 1: empathy deficient disorder. So basically this is so hard for

547
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 1: empast tickets. They don't really care about what you're feeling,

548
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 1: you know, they only care about it in the sense

549
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 1: of how it might serve them. But this is very

550
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 1: confusing because in the beginning of the relationship they put

551
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 1: on a false and pathic front. Right, It's very confusing.

552
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,400
Speaker 1: But what I you know, tell my patience is just

553
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 1: be aware of really charismatic people are overly charming people

554
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 1: because a lot of times they're narcissists. Narcissists have charmed unbelievable.

555
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 1: You feel that electrical lightning experiences them. Bam, you know

556
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 1: you're alert in your senses, are awake, and you know

557
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:35,719
Speaker 1: it's just an amazing, that lightning striking experience you can

558
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:39,040
Speaker 1: deal with narcissists. So you've got to really take a

559
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 1: step back if that happens, just to make sure you're

560
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 1: partners and a narcissist. And you know in the book

561
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 1: there's certain traits you look for and and it's tried

562
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 1: and true with every narcissist you know. So I suggest

563
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 1: two people is empassed. If you think somebody's a narcissist,

564
00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 1: just provoke a little conflict in the beginning whatever, Just

565
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 1: don't do something their away and see how they respond,

566
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:09,960
Speaker 1: because narcissists typically get cold withholding, punishing, and their true

567
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,920
Speaker 1: self comes out. But if they aren't a narcissist, they

568
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,440
Speaker 1: would say something like, oh, thank you for telling me

569
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 1: your needs. Now I can better reachpect. Though you know,

570
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 1: the narcisist wouldn't say that unless they were trying to

571
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 1: manipulate you. I'm thinking they're all my dating past as

572
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 1: you talk, I think that, yeah, oh my gosh, yes,

573
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:39,400
Speaker 1: like I have been in multiple relationships with nar narcissists. UM.

574
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:41,400
Speaker 1: I don't think yeah until I read that in the

575
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:46,200
Speaker 1: book about the part of um them putting on the

576
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 1: show for a while, because that's I think it's such

577
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:50,480
Speaker 1: a confusing thing. It's a you know, you get really

578
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:53,279
Speaker 1: confused on what is chemistry and then what is that

579
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 1: toxic connection that you're talking about between the narcissist and

580
00:34:57,080 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 1: the impass right. Just provoke a conflict with an excellent

581
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:07,239
Speaker 1: if you think and see how they react. Because if

582
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:11,439
Speaker 1: you're all you know in the you know, blaze over

583
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 1: with passion and you know an expectation, you're not going

584
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,560
Speaker 1: to see the real person. But if you can just

585
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 1: take a breath, say okay, you know, I'm going to

586
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 1: provoke a conflict and see what see how this person responds,

587
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:26,840
Speaker 1: then you can bring out their true colors more quickly.

588
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:30,959
Speaker 1: And also you need to see how they treat other people. Yeah,

589
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:34,560
Speaker 1: they treat the starking lot of tendancyl they you know,

590
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,840
Speaker 1: treat the food server. You know, if they're nasty to

591
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:42,439
Speaker 1: certain people, then that's how they're going to be with you.

592
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:47,040
Speaker 1: You know, you want to have somebody who's kind to everybody.

593
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:50,240
Speaker 1: You know, he cares about the earth and cares about

594
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:55,560
Speaker 1: other people. And narcissists don't genuinely care. So they care.

595
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:59,879
Speaker 1: They they'll they'll give you positive strokes. If you admire them,

596
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 1: if you told them good job they did, you know,

597
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,920
Speaker 1: what an incredible person they are. I mean that they

598
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 1: have sofa. But in terms of loving you, now, yeah,

599
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:18,120
Speaker 1: I mean I work with a lot of celebrity clients.

600
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 1: So that's such a narcissistic world in general. You know,

601
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 1: it's kind of it breeds that just because of the

602
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:26,799
Speaker 1: nature of the job. So I think I'm almost used

603
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 1: to that, but it's very eye opening. I'll have to

604
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:34,920
Speaker 1: test it out. Yeah, But in the I want to

605
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 1: make the distinction there are people just with narcissistic traits

606
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,360
Speaker 1: who are not full of own narcissists. So they just

607
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:43,719
Speaker 1: have some qualities of self absorption, but they may have

608
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:47,280
Speaker 1: the goopacity, you know, for caring. If they go into

609
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:50,520
Speaker 1: therapy or if they go into coaching, then they have

610
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:53,240
Speaker 1: If they go into twelve step program, that's very helpful

611
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 1: for narcissists, the actics or alcoholic because then they have

612
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:59,200
Speaker 1: to be of service to other people part of the program,

613
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 1: you know. So you know, there are those let down

614
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:06,719
Speaker 1: on the scale who are not full blown narcissists. You know,

615
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:09,840
Speaker 1: in the entertainment community that that you're in. So I

616
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:14,439
Speaker 1: wouldn't suddenly, you know, say everyone if I don't think

617
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:19,480
Speaker 1: that's fair, but I want to say that, you know,

618
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:23,919
Speaker 1: with makeup artists and with you know, anybody who has

619
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:28,239
Speaker 1: close physical contact other people because you're working on them,

620
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,399
Speaker 1: that for EmPATH is very rough. I've had a lot

621
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:35,520
Speaker 1: of patients in those situations are hairstylists. You know, it's

622
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 1: very rough because not only do they people tend to

623
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,520
Speaker 1: tell you their life stories. You know, you're near their

624
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 1: energy field picking up stuff all the time. So you

625
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:49,319
Speaker 1: need to take special time to replenish yourself. You know,

626
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:53,360
Speaker 1: in terms of meditation, getting in water, you know, hot baths,

627
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:59,919
Speaker 1: showers that helps to cleanse you, staging or burning sweet grass,

628
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:05,640
Speaker 1: you know, in your your environment, medication, breath, yoga, getting

629
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 1: out in nature. You needed to have all those things

630
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:12,440
Speaker 1: going on to balance out your experience with being so

631
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 1: close to the public. Right Over the years, I've actually

632
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 1: gotten to the point where you know, I have my

633
00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:20,879
Speaker 1: kind of my set clients that I have learned to

634
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:24,600
Speaker 1: work with because I am so close to them. Um

635
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:26,880
Speaker 1: and I have a hard time taking on new people

636
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:30,280
Speaker 1: at this point because of that exact reason. It's exhausting

637
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:34,400
Speaker 1: to me. UM and this is actually, this is why

638
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:36,560
Speaker 1: I even wanted to do this podcast in general. I

639
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:38,920
Speaker 1: got a message from one of my followers on my

640
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:43,440
Speaker 1: Instagram at Velvet's Edge, and she is a hairstylist. She

641
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 1: works in the bridle industry, but she said, the beauty

642
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 1: industry is a place where people feel vulnerable. Many times,

643
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 1: I'm dealing with insecurities, feelings, and stressful wedding chaos. I

644
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 1: know they are not directly related to me, but I

645
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,560
Speaker 1: can't help but still be affected by it. I can

646
00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 1: often feel the atmosphere of the vibe of the room

647
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:02,440
Speaker 1: without anyone saying a word. Since I know you're in

648
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:05,239
Speaker 1: the music industry and probably handle large personalities who are

649
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:09,320
Speaker 1: perhaps feeling the pressure, public expectations and criticisms of the media,

650
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 1: what are some ways as an impath that you are

651
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 1: able to power through and do your job well without

652
00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:19,879
Speaker 1: letting the atmosphere affect you? And I don't know. I mean,

653
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:22,000
Speaker 1: you can probably speak to this better than me, because

654
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 1: I literally just learned five new techniques in your book,

655
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:28,799
Speaker 1: because I think I was just shutting down. You know

656
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:30,239
Speaker 1: I would if I That's what I was saying. When

657
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,319
Speaker 1: I travel, I come home and it's hard for me

658
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:35,439
Speaker 1: to function. It takes me a couple of days, which

659
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 1: isn't realistic, especially if you're in a relationship or if

660
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:41,799
Speaker 1: once I have kids, those kind of things like that

661
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:45,560
Speaker 1: is not a good way to live, you know. No,

662
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:48,440
Speaker 1: I mean that's for I mean in both books, but

663
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:52,000
Speaker 1: in Thriving Us an m Past, I offer a self

664
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:55,760
Speaker 1: care technique per day that you can use in environments,

665
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,040
Speaker 1: you know, such as you know, being in public or

666
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 1: having to deal with a lot of different energy us

667
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 1: in an office environment. But in terms of what you

668
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 1: can do, um, the first thing you need to do

669
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:09,919
Speaker 1: is learn how to use the breath to breathe out

670
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:13,319
Speaker 1: negative energy and to you know, when you go into

671
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:15,879
Speaker 1: an environment, be aware in your of your body does

672
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 1: need to feel good or does this not feel good?

673
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 1: So that you can kind of tie trate the you

674
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:24,160
Speaker 1: know that if you get the feeling in the room,

675
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 1: you can read the room and then you can take

676
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 1: care of yourself in specific ways as a result. But

677
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:32,400
Speaker 1: I just want to say some rooms are fantastic to

678
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:35,920
Speaker 1: walk into, you know, the energy is so good. You know,

679
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:39,799
Speaker 1: some yoga studios or you know concerts or you know,

680
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:43,680
Speaker 1: beautiful sanctuaries of people create, you know, for retreat centers

681
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:47,160
Speaker 1: just beautiful, you know, and it's just an empat feast

682
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:51,720
Speaker 1: for the senses. UM. But if you're you know, around

683
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:55,080
Speaker 1: the public, then you have to you know, develop some

684
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 1: kind of meditation practice so that you learn to center

685
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:02,160
Speaker 1: your energy. There's a three minute heart meditation that I

686
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 1: describe in the book where you breathe, you breathe out stress.

687
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:09,680
Speaker 1: It's critical to know that the breath when you breathe out,

688
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:12,839
Speaker 1: that breathe out the stress or toxicity. You don't want

689
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:15,680
Speaker 1: to hold your breath in life, because that's what people

690
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:18,640
Speaker 1: do if you're around an energy vampire amount to, people

691
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 1: get afraid and hold their breath and that's the worst

692
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 1: possible thing. You have to breathe out and breathe out

693
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:28,840
Speaker 1: any negative energy that you're you're picking up for any fear.

694
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:32,600
Speaker 1: And then you need to you know, get used to

695
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:35,600
Speaker 1: excusing yourself if you're feeling overwhelmed, just to go to

696
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:39,240
Speaker 1: the bathroom so that you can meditate for three minutes,

697
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:44,319
Speaker 1: center yourself, you know, feel stronger, and then come back

698
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:48,840
Speaker 1: out in terms of the situation. UM. And then also

699
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 1: learning how to set clear limits and boundaries essential for

700
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 1: encount learning that no is a complete sentence. You know, no,

701
00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:00,840
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I can't meet you at you know, midnight

702
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 1: tonight to do your hair. I can't do it. You know,

703
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 1: I'm tired, or I'm not able to do it, and

704
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 1: learn how to you know, set limits you know with

705
00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:15,440
Speaker 1: people and say set limits nice, firm and loving and short.

706
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 1: You don't want to get into it with people you know,

707
00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:20,840
Speaker 1: or no, I'm not able to you know, stay for

708
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:22,879
Speaker 1: three hours, but I'd love to come for one hour.

709
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:27,040
Speaker 1: To be able to control your environment a little bit

710
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:31,080
Speaker 1: more um and then also know what your emotional triggers are,

711
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:35,279
Speaker 1: because what you're triggered by and other people is what

712
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:39,359
Speaker 1: drains you. For instance, if you if your trigger as anxiety,

713
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:42,960
Speaker 1: if somebody starts getting anxious around your client is anxious,

714
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:47,480
Speaker 1: then your anxiety button's going to get triggered. And that's

715
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 1: like a super drain when your triggers are activated. And

716
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 1: so no part of being an empact includes self healing.

717
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:57,840
Speaker 1: You know where you say, okay, you know where is

718
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:01,200
Speaker 1: my anxiety coming from? You didn't come from my mother?

719
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 1: You know? How can I you know, separate that bond

720
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 1: with her so I don't take it on anymore. So,

721
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 1: it's it's a lot of knowing yourself now and also

722
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:15,920
Speaker 1: getting into water as quickly as possible, taking breaks, you know,

723
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:18,359
Speaker 1: not having a schedule where you just go from one

724
00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:20,440
Speaker 1: thing to the next, to the next to the next.

725
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:23,759
Speaker 1: I mean, I I limit the amount of socialized and

726
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:27,359
Speaker 1: I do because I enjoy it. But I don't. I

727
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 1: can't do it all the time. It's just too much

728
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 1: for me, too much input. And that's fine, you know,

729
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:35,400
Speaker 1: it's fine for me. You know, I say no to

730
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 1: a lot of the events, so that's fine too. But

731
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 1: I don't just go and torture myself, you know, and

732
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,759
Speaker 1: just get exhausted if I you know, when I go

733
00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:48,560
Speaker 1: I can sense my body when I go on a

734
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 1: little bit of overload, you know, Voices sound louder, lights

735
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 1: become right, and it's just too much, you know, it's

736
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 1: like signals, red flags. All right, that's fine, just get quiet,

737
00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:02,480
Speaker 1: let's take care of your show. And so I'm I

738
00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:06,600
Speaker 1: want to emphasize I'm continued continuing to learn this. This

739
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:10,720
Speaker 1: is a lifelong process of tweaking and listening to yourself,

740
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 1: and it's beautiful. I wouldn't have it any other way.

741
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:17,839
Speaker 1: I love this you know, I love being sensitive. I

742
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:20,719
Speaker 1: love you know, being able to see into people and

743
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:23,440
Speaker 1: read people. And an impast can tell if somebody is

744
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:27,040
Speaker 1: being inauthentic. You know, you can feel it in your gut.

745
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 1: You know something's off, and that's that's a plus. Yeah,

746
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:34,400
Speaker 1: you want to know that, but you also want to

747
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 1: listen to it, which many empass don't. And many empacts

748
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,439
Speaker 1: or people pleasers, so they have to begin to deal

749
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 1: with that in themselves. Now, you don't want to have

750
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 1: to please everyone. At times, you will disappoint people. You know,

751
00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:50,759
Speaker 1: you need to break it to you. I mean, I'm

752
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:53,640
Speaker 1: definitely a people pleaser, but it's something I've been working on.

753
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:56,560
Speaker 1: I'm a recovering people pleaser. We'll say it that way.

754
00:44:56,680 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 1: Yeah that's great, Yeah, yeah, right, recovering people. But for

755
00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 1: empass to compassionately deal with all of these things in

756
00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 1: themselves and to find people in jobs and situations but

757
00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:12,680
Speaker 1: feel good to you, you know, and to create a

758
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:15,480
Speaker 1: life that's you know, let's say you love the ocean.

759
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 1: Let's say the ocean is impass like water. Go try

760
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:23,080
Speaker 1: and live by the ocean where you can do that,

761
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:27,520
Speaker 1: you know, go follow where you're most comfortable. So you're

762
00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 1: not living in the city when you really want to

763
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 1: be by the ocean. Well, I think it's so interesting too,

764
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:37,879
Speaker 1: about getting to know yourself and allowing yourself to not

765
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 1: have to do everything like for me a lot of times.

766
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:44,920
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm in my thirties, I feel like I'm

767
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:49,360
Speaker 1: striving to build a business kind of thing, and I

768
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:52,240
Speaker 1: do it a lot of times where I'm just constantly going,

769
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:55,920
Speaker 1: and that is what is very praised, I feel like

770
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,680
Speaker 1: in our society, but it does not ever pan out

771
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:02,200
Speaker 1: right for me, Like I end up exhausted. I do

772
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 1: not feel like I bring my best self to the

773
00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:07,200
Speaker 1: table when I do that, when I'm not taking care

774
00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:10,040
Speaker 1: of myself. But it is hard for me to say

775
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:13,279
Speaker 1: it's okay to not do that, or it's okay to

776
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:16,680
Speaker 1: take this time off, or it's okay to not be

777
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:19,800
Speaker 1: going constantly like everyone else. I have never been able

778
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:22,839
Speaker 1: to one let myself off the hook, but I've never

779
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:25,560
Speaker 1: been able to move like other people. So it's hard

780
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:27,560
Speaker 1: for me not to feel shame about that. If that

781
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:33,960
Speaker 1: makes sense. About sitting limits your yeah, because I feel

782
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 1: like a lot of people around me, I watched them

783
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:40,239
Speaker 1: just go, go, go go, and I think a lot

784
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:42,440
Speaker 1: of programming in me. I don't know if this is

785
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:45,319
Speaker 1: common for most people. Is that that is the key

786
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 1: to success is to strive and to go and to

787
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:54,560
Speaker 1: keep doing. And I can't do that. Well that's a

788
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:56,719
Speaker 1: good thing, I know that. But the secret is to

789
00:46:56,760 --> 00:47:00,399
Speaker 1: take many breaks and to not never sched go back

790
00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 1: to back to back too much. That's a recipe for exhaustion.

791
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:05,440
Speaker 1: And then you won't want to go out for a

792
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 1: week after that. Yeah, so that's not going to serve

793
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:13,279
Speaker 1: you either. So it's about balance. It's about balance. Let's

794
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 1: say you're invited, I don't know, you know, three events

795
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:19,359
Speaker 1: in one day, you know, at least take a half

796
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:23,280
Speaker 1: hour or an hour, you know, to meditate, to be quiet,

797
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:27,880
Speaker 1: just turn down the stimulation between the events. You know.

798
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:31,839
Speaker 1: That helps a lot, the mini breaks for business people, yeah,

799
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:35,640
Speaker 1: it really helps a lot. It makes you calmer. I

800
00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:38,320
Speaker 1: mean for me, when I when I'm feeling sensory overload,

801
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 1: I take even three or four minute breaks. It feels

802
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:48,520
Speaker 1: just like I'm being replenished again. Just don't talk to anybody,

803
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 1: you know, close your eyes, meditate, close the shade, you know,

804
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:56,960
Speaker 1: just be quiet, or play some lovely music whatever. Just

805
00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:00,400
Speaker 1: shift your state and then you can go back to

806
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:03,919
Speaker 1: the world of people after them. Do you you talk

807
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:07,960
Speaker 1: about most introverts being I mean most impacts being introverted,

808
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 1: But can you be extroverted because I'm not sure I

809
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:14,719
Speaker 1: fully identified with an introvert. Yeah. Yeah. In the book,

810
00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:20,400
Speaker 1: I talked about both introverted and extroverted EmPATH interfer you know,

811
00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:23,120
Speaker 1: like staying at home, like being with their animals at home,

812
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:26,360
Speaker 1: you know, like having one person over, you know, like

813
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:29,920
Speaker 1: watching movies. You know, don't go a lot out to events,

814
00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 1: but they're extroverted empast You love to socialize. But the

815
00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:37,200
Speaker 1: key is that you have to have downtime out to

816
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:40,880
Speaker 1: your social life so you can decrease your stimulation level.

817
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:43,880
Speaker 1: You can't just go from one thing to the next.

818
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:46,560
Speaker 1: Extroverted EmPATH that I work with have to learn that

819
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:52,319
Speaker 1: can you be both at different times? You could have

820
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:54,200
Speaker 1: a need, you know, you might go through a phase,

821
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 1: you know where you're more introverted, and that might be

822
00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 1: related to the seasons. This also related to the winter

823
00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:05,760
Speaker 1: season where people m m you know, because I follow

824
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:09,120
Speaker 1: the seasons and you know, the phases of the moon,

825
00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:11,839
Speaker 1: and you know, I believe all that effects EmPATH. It's

826
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:14,840
Speaker 1: just something I'm very connected to in my spiritual practice,

827
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:18,600
Speaker 1: which is a bots practice. And so you know, on

828
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:21,360
Speaker 1: the full moon and new moon, I special prayers and

829
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:25,960
Speaker 1: meditations and connections. You know, just feel the cycles of life.

830
00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 1: You know. Empaths can do that if they want to.

831
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:31,279
Speaker 1: They could be intench with the cycles of length. And

832
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:35,000
Speaker 1: some cycles of nature are quieter and more inward and

833
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:38,759
Speaker 1: others are more outward and socializing. So you have to

834
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:42,160
Speaker 1: listen to your body and connecting to nature is one

835
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:45,479
Speaker 1: thing that impass you know a lot of times love

836
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 1: doing so, you know, one of the gifts of empaths

837
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:53,480
Speaker 1: is a high level of intuition. What does it mean

838
00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:59,040
Speaker 1: to be an intuitive impath? Are all empaths intuitive empathts

839
00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:02,600
Speaker 1: have a certain amount of intuitions um, but the intuitive

840
00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:07,359
Speaker 1: empaths often have extremely strong intuitions UM. Or you can

841
00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:12,520
Speaker 1: senseless going on in other people. You can get visions,

842
00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 1: or you can you know, get knowing, or you can

843
00:50:15,560 --> 00:50:18,919
Speaker 1: get strong ah feelings or all of a sudden something

844
00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:23,560
Speaker 1: becomes clear um. And it's about inner listening where your

845
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 1: body tells you you know various things about people or

846
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:32,719
Speaker 1: they're also dream EmPATH You know, I've been recording my

847
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:35,080
Speaker 1: dreams since I've been a little girl and following their

848
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:38,880
Speaker 1: guidance because I'm so connected to that realm. So some

849
00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:42,440
Speaker 1: empass the form of intuition, they connect with the dreams.

850
00:50:43,239 --> 00:50:47,279
Speaker 1: So it just varies. So, you know, some empaths are

851
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:53,000
Speaker 1: connected to plants, plant EmPATH or animal EmPATH, our earth

852
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:56,560
Speaker 1: EmPATH or you can be particularly connected to the Earth changes,

853
00:50:57,200 --> 00:51:00,640
Speaker 1: so if you have the sensitivity, it can be directed

854
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:04,319
Speaker 1: to so many different areas and and some empaths have

855
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:07,880
Speaker 1: more of a specialty, you know, Let's say they're you know,

856
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:12,800
Speaker 1: more an intuitive impath and they connect to animals or

857
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:16,440
Speaker 1: they connect to the earth. So it's it's good, you know,

858
00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:18,520
Speaker 1: in those cases to live near the earth there just

859
00:51:18,719 --> 00:51:21,160
Speaker 1: spend a lot of time, you know, with the earth,

860
00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:26,680
Speaker 1: because that's very nurturing. The two I related with the most.

861
00:51:26,719 --> 00:51:29,520
Speaker 1: You describe all of the different kinds of intuitive impass

862
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:31,360
Speaker 1: in your book, But the two I related to the

863
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:35,680
Speaker 1: most where the telepath and the dream, which I think

864
00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:38,680
Speaker 1: for most of my life has what has been what

865
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:41,160
Speaker 1: has made me feel a little crazy like I have not.

866
00:51:41,719 --> 00:51:44,959
Speaker 1: I wanted to say those things out loud because they're

867
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:48,920
Speaker 1: really kind of strange almost, like especially the telepath one

868
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:51,799
Speaker 1: that happens to me a lot um where I think

869
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:55,000
Speaker 1: something and you know, the most recent one that happened

870
00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:57,320
Speaker 1: to me was a couple of months ago. I was

871
00:51:57,360 --> 00:52:01,000
Speaker 1: just walking up the stairs and had flash of my

872
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 1: grandmother falling for random reason. I mean, I was I

873
00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:07,280
Speaker 1: haven't even I hadn't talked about my grandmother or talked

874
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:10,840
Speaker 1: to her in weeks. It was so strange, and I

875
00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:12,520
Speaker 1: was like, Wow, that was so weird. I wonder why

876
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:14,560
Speaker 1: I thought that. Maybe just because I was walking upstairs.

877
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:16,440
Speaker 1: I don't know, it just like it was this flash

878
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:19,279
Speaker 1: and I saw her actually falling, and I got a

879
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:21,520
Speaker 1: call from my mom the next morning that she had fallen,

880
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:25,760
Speaker 1: had a pretty bad fall. And um, that has happened

881
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,359
Speaker 1: to me so much throughout my life. But it's it's

882
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:30,959
Speaker 1: weird and it's scary what you addressed in the book,

883
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:33,680
Speaker 1: because you almost are like, oh my god, did I

884
00:52:33,760 --> 00:52:35,960
Speaker 1: cause that? Or what what was that? Like? Why did

885
00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:41,720
Speaker 1: that happen? Right? Yeah? Yeah, Um, it's because you loved somebody.

886
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:45,040
Speaker 1: The intuitive bond in the connection with them is very strong,

887
00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:48,400
Speaker 1: and so if they're in trouble or something's going to happen.

888
00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:52,080
Speaker 1: That's often a wilder signal, so it gets transmitted through

889
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:55,440
Speaker 1: the wavelength, you know whatever there. It gets transmitted from

890
00:52:55,520 --> 00:52:59,400
Speaker 1: one heart to another. And you obviously love your grandmother

891
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:04,239
Speaker 1: very much. You're you're connected to her and to me.

892
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:06,520
Speaker 1: From my frame of reference, it's not weird at all.

893
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:10,520
Speaker 1: It's our natural human capacity at its peak. It's finest

894
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 1: to be able to connect to people that way. And

895
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 1: at first at my first book, second Site was about

896
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:20,640
Speaker 1: you know, growing up as an intuitive, empathic child and

897
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:24,320
Speaker 1: all those things you mentioned, you know, feelings that somehow

898
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:27,080
Speaker 1: I caused it, you know, or there was something wrong

899
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:29,920
Speaker 1: with me, and you know, kind of dispelling that, and

900
00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:33,000
Speaker 1: then how I give it as a doctor, um, but

901
00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:37,000
Speaker 1: you didn't cause it. You're just open, you know. It

902
00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:42,280
Speaker 1: sounds like you're a very open, intuitive, loving person, and

903
00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:45,160
Speaker 1: you need to, you know, learn some skills not to

904
00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:48,719
Speaker 1: take on too much, you know, because empaths tend to

905
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 1: overhelp and get involved with things that are none of

906
00:53:52,120 --> 00:53:55,759
Speaker 1: their business. You have to you know, each person is

907
00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:59,840
Speaker 1: in their own lane. You know, you might overlap, but

908
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:02,400
Speaker 1: each person has their own path to be on, so

909
00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:05,359
Speaker 1: you stay in your own lane and it's not your

910
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:08,719
Speaker 1: job to take on the world's suffering. Empaths need to

911
00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:11,960
Speaker 1: learn that it doesn't help the world doesn't help you.

912
00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:15,279
Speaker 1: What does help is if you learn how to hold

913
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:18,640
Speaker 1: space for people so that you can provide, you know,

914
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:22,800
Speaker 1: a loving environment for somebody to go through their own

915
00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:29,239
Speaker 1: pain or their own path without getting overly involved. That's

916
00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:32,279
Speaker 1: that's another skill to be learned as an EmPATH, and

917
00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:35,920
Speaker 1: I do discuss that in this book. I love that

918
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,319
Speaker 1: you finished the book with a chapter about just the

919
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 1: gifts of being an EmPATH. What would you what would

920
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:44,239
Speaker 1: you say The greatest gifts of being an EmPATH are

921
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:50,560
Speaker 1: um the ability to love very deeply and to connect

922
00:54:50,640 --> 00:54:55,160
Speaker 1: with human beings, with nature, with life, to be able

923
00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:58,920
Speaker 1: to feel, you know, with capital f you know, the

924
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:03,520
Speaker 1: flowers and the ocean, and and you know, beautiful people

925
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:06,120
Speaker 1: that you could connect to, and to be of service

926
00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:09,080
Speaker 1: to others. You know. My work as a psychiatrist, that

927
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:13,040
Speaker 1: allows me to sense what others people are feeling, so

928
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:16,640
Speaker 1: I can kind of get it from their angle, you know,

929
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:20,640
Speaker 1: and that gives me, you know, a deep perception into them.

930
00:55:20,680 --> 00:55:23,320
Speaker 1: That's very important to me. I think the most important

931
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 1: thing to me is connection, you know, It's how we

932
00:55:26,760 --> 00:55:30,200
Speaker 1: connect to ourselves, to the people we love, to the

933
00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:34,279
Speaker 1: people you know, my patients. That depth of connection, my

934
00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:38,000
Speaker 1: being an empast really really helps with that. And I

935
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:41,239
Speaker 1: love that. I love the quote that you say in

936
00:55:41,239 --> 00:55:44,200
Speaker 1: that chapter. It's from environmentalist David Or and he says

937
00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:47,120
Speaker 1: the planet does not need more successful people. The planet

938
00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:52,560
Speaker 1: desperately needs more peacemakers, more healers, restores, storytellers, and lovers

939
00:55:52,560 --> 00:55:55,120
Speaker 1: of all kind. It needs people to live well in

940
00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:58,360
Speaker 1: their places. It needs people with moral courage willing to

941
00:55:58,480 --> 00:56:01,600
Speaker 1: join the struggle to make the world habitable and humane.

942
00:56:01,840 --> 00:56:04,759
Speaker 1: And these qualities have little to do with success as

943
00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:08,120
Speaker 1: our culture defines it. So how would you say you've

944
00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:13,920
Speaker 1: found success as an impath to the power of my

945
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:19,080
Speaker 1: heart and not being afraid m being able to expand

946
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:23,200
Speaker 1: my sensitivities and and teach it of it. I'm very

947
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:25,719
Speaker 1: happy about that that I'm gonna the opportunity, has the

948
00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:29,400
Speaker 1: opportunity to teach others how to work with their empathy

949
00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:33,359
Speaker 1: in a positive story. Well, I know it's just but

950
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:36,280
Speaker 1: and if you squash it, you pay a big price

951
00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:43,239
Speaker 1: because of the huge gift, right, I know, it's been

952
00:56:43,239 --> 00:56:45,319
Speaker 1: a great gift to me that you're talking about this,

953
00:56:45,560 --> 00:56:48,000
Speaker 1: and for any of you guys listening, if you've related,

954
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:51,600
Speaker 1: or you're just intrigued by learning more about impaths, or

955
00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:54,520
Speaker 1: maybe even you're in a relationship when I highly recommend

956
00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:58,839
Speaker 1: Dr Olaf's book The Impast Survival Guide for me. It's

957
00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:01,600
Speaker 1: been the best breakdown an explanation I've heard about what

958
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:04,080
Speaker 1: it's truly like to be an EmPATH, um, and also

959
00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:06,239
Speaker 1: how to value your gift. You do have a new

960
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:10,440
Speaker 1: book coming out called tie. It's titled Thriving as an Impath,

961
00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:13,200
Speaker 1: which we talked about a little bit, but it's a

962
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:15,520
Speaker 1: daily reader. Can you kind of explain what it's going

963
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:18,760
Speaker 1: to be about. Yeah, it's three hundred and sixty five

964
00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:22,560
Speaker 1: days of self care practices for empast, so you could

965
00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:26,600
Speaker 1: turn to January one and get a self care practice UM.

966
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 1: And so it's tiny, bite size techniques that you can

967
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:34,080
Speaker 1: apply on how not to absorb other people's energy, how

968
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:37,680
Speaker 1: to be your best self, how now to to express

969
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:40,680
Speaker 1: your empathy and healthy ways. And I've divided it into

970
00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:44,000
Speaker 1: the seasons and the phases of the moon. So now

971
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:47,520
Speaker 1: that's awareness of nature and the cyclical nature of the

972
00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:51,200
Speaker 1: year is brought into it. UM. And I also have

973
00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:56,040
Speaker 1: an IMPAST Survival Guide online course on my website, which

974
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:59,880
Speaker 1: is nine video lessons that I give on training IMPAST

975
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:04,400
Speaker 1: and various uh various area, then Paths and Love, antas

976
00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:08,000
Speaker 1: and work and Paths and Emotions UM or you know.

977
00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:11,120
Speaker 1: I also have workshops and giving one October five in

978
00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 1: San Francisco, California, Institute for Integral Studies and then October

979
00:58:16,840 --> 00:58:19,080
Speaker 1: New York the New York Open Center. And it's on

980
00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:22,600
Speaker 1: my website d R Judith or Law dot com so

981
00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:24,520
Speaker 1: they can find all the dates on your website. It's

982
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:28,439
Speaker 1: is when Just Driving as an EmPATH come out. Um.

983
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:31,520
Speaker 1: You can preorder it now, but it's um coming out

984
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:34,800
Speaker 1: in October, and I'm doing a book tour, so I'll

985
00:58:34,840 --> 00:58:37,120
Speaker 1: be traveling around talking about it. If you'd like to

986
00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:42,120
Speaker 1: join me, amazing. And then are you on social media? Um?

987
00:58:42,160 --> 00:58:46,440
Speaker 1: I am. I'm on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. Is it just

988
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:51,680
Speaker 1: at Dr Judith or Law Yeah, and I noticed too, UM.

989
00:58:51,680 --> 00:58:54,000
Speaker 1: I also requested to be a part of this Facebook group.

990
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:58,000
Speaker 1: By the way, but there is UM a Facebook group

991
00:58:58,120 --> 00:59:02,760
Speaker 1: for in paths to connect with each other, right all right,

992
00:59:02,840 --> 00:59:06,840
Speaker 1: It's called dr orlof Impounds the poor community with almost

993
00:59:06,840 --> 00:59:11,760
Speaker 1: fifteen thousand empaths grow up having amazing conversation that is

994
00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:15,600
Speaker 1: free to join. Yes, I love that. That to me.

995
00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:17,480
Speaker 1: I read a lot about this in your book too,

996
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:20,720
Speaker 1: But just having other impaths to connect with and talk

997
00:59:20,760 --> 00:59:25,200
Speaker 1: to you and learn different techniques for you know, surviving

998
00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:28,800
Speaker 1: or getting through I love that. Yeah. Yeah, it makes

999
00:59:28,840 --> 00:59:31,480
Speaker 1: all the difference. You're not alone. There's so many impounds

1000
00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:33,720
Speaker 1: out there, so you want to really connect with the

1001
00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:37,520
Speaker 1: community and and find life minded people where you don't

1002
00:59:37,560 --> 00:59:40,600
Speaker 1: have to start and reinvent the wheel every time when

1003
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:43,960
Speaker 1: you talk to them. Yes, Dr Olaf, thank you so

1004
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:46,360
Speaker 1: much for being here. I so appreciate it, and I

1005
00:59:46,440 --> 00:59:50,800
Speaker 1: know that everyone else listening probably does as well. Oh,

1006
00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:53,479
Speaker 1: you're very welcome. It was fun you guys. Check out

1007
00:59:53,600 --> 00:59:55,920
Speaker 1: Dr orlov and you can find all the dates to

1008
00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 1: her new book book release and the Impast Survival Guide

1009
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:02,600
Speaker 1: on doct or judith Orloft dot com. Thanks for listening.

1010
01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:06,000
Speaker 1: This is Kelly Henderson and you've been listening to the

1011
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:09,680
Speaker 1: Velvet Edge podcast. I truly believe that every one of

1012
01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:12,360
Speaker 1: us has a little velvet and a little edge, so

1013
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:15,000
Speaker 1: it's so important to remember that to be strong, you

1014
01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:18,200
Speaker 1: must be soft too. Thank you so much for sharing

1015
01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:21,040
Speaker 1: in those stories with me. You can follow velvet's Edge

1016
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:24,200
Speaker 1: on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, as well as velvet's Edge

1017
01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:26,720
Speaker 1: dot com. If you have it yet, go to Apple

1018
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:30,880
Speaker 1: Podcast and subscribe, rate and review this podcast. Join me

1019
01:00:30,960 --> 01:00:35,720
Speaker 1: every Wednesday for more conversations on lifestyle, beauty, and relationships.

1020
01:00:35,920 --> 01:00:36,800
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening.