Speaker 1: Hey, what's up? It is Angela. Ye, I'm Stephanie Santiago,
Speaker 1: Liam McSweeney. Why do I feel like you're like vibrating
Speaker 1: or echoing or something to me? What was my instro?
Speaker 1: A little much? No, you're okay? And Dante, how you doing?
Speaker 1: I'm Dante Nero, Dante Narrow, comedian, comedian actor. Uh, his
Speaker 1: own podcast. Yeah, I do little acting, stand up comedy,
Speaker 1: and I have a podcast on a from a relationship,
Speaker 1: podcast from a masculine perspective? What's a masculine perspective relationship?
Speaker 1: I was, actually I was. I was a male strip
Speaker 1: before like eleven years, a male strip that from that
Speaker 1: I ended up being. I got a little bit into
Speaker 1: the pimp game for about seven but for about seven
Speaker 1: years and then I had a lot of guys who
Speaker 1: were having problems with their relationships and I started applying
Speaker 1: pimp principles to square relationships. Okay, so let me ask
Speaker 1: you something about males stipping. Now. I have a great
Speaker 1: time because I've hosted some mail review shows and it's
Speaker 1: always really fun. But I know sometimes they say, like
Speaker 1: there's certain things that you have to do because your
Speaker 1: dick has to look hard, and well, that's what you're
Speaker 1: talking about is beefing up. What a god does is
Speaker 1: he jerks off and then what they usually will take
Speaker 1: is a half inch of a spandage and they tied
Speaker 1: behind the testicles, cut the circulation to keep the blood.
Speaker 1: And it's like, I mean, it used to be. It
Speaker 1: used to be, uh like they used to use cock rings.
Speaker 1: But being the fact that a span because a spandage
Speaker 1: worked good on your knee even when you're running, so
Speaker 1: it works even better, is that dangerous? So I mean
Speaker 1: it's painful. It could be painful for a while, but
Speaker 1: I mean, you you release it in it, you know,
Speaker 1: let it breathe. Can you get like Gang Green or
Speaker 1: something from that? Yes, you could, but I mean you know,
Speaker 1: I mean you by that time, you're gonna be in
Speaker 1: a lot of pain. You're being a lot of pain
Speaker 1: from doing that. Now, previously, a lot of my friends
Speaker 1: had the mill stippers. A lot of them are gay.
Speaker 1: A lot of mill shippers gay. Now I think it
Speaker 1: is I think there was a time when it was
Speaker 1: a real separation between gay strippers and and straight strippers.
Speaker 1: I know when I did it, we separated the different stats.
Speaker 1: Stigma was always there. So when I was kind of
Speaker 1: in the game. I always kind of we always kept
Speaker 1: it separate because we were trying to kill that stigma.
Speaker 1: Now it's it's like it's kind of a free for
Speaker 1: all guys. I mean, you get guys who even considered
Speaker 1: themselves straight. They do they do gay shows, straight shows.
Speaker 1: It's whatever, Like I'm straight, but for the sake of
Speaker 1: this show and this money, I'm gonna be gay. But yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's it's a funny thing because it's the slope.
Speaker 1: It's a slippery slope because now you've got guys touching
Speaker 1: you and stuff, and it makes it easier to you know,
Speaker 1: I know this guy who is he claims he's completely
Speaker 1: out of role. He's straight and he does gay porn. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't, you know, so he gets no, he's sucking
Speaker 1: the ass people in the ass. He doesn't get fun
Speaker 1: because you're not gay. If you're the one that's getting
Speaker 1: your dick suck or you're the one sucking a girl,
Speaker 1: you're still gay. Still good, you're gay, it's still good.
Speaker 1: I think, you know, they're trying to find these little
Speaker 1: classifications of to justify I actually I slept. I used
Speaker 1: to date a call girl for a while and date
Speaker 1: call girl, and she she she kind of fell in
Speaker 1: love with me, and she had decided that because she
Speaker 1: fell in love with me, that I we would only
Speaker 1: have anal sex because to her, anal sex was personal
Speaker 1: and vaginal sex was business and so but she all
Speaker 1: that was was a compartmentalization of what she thought was
Speaker 1: in her own head, like, this is personal, this is
Speaker 1: not Did you enjoy having anal sex with her? Only? Um,
Speaker 1: I think you get to the point where anything you want,
Speaker 1: you want some We'll see too, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So it's a it's kind of a weird. Oh God,
Speaker 1: I wish I could have anal sex and just like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is sup personal right at sex? I get it
Speaker 1: because because you could get pregnant from that, I'm surprised
Speaker 1: that you I can't take it in there. I'm really
Speaker 1: I'm so disappointed myself. I love watching women take it
Speaker 1: in the ass. I think it's the sexiest. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: it's so I'm like, I'm so not into anything. I'm
Speaker 1: in my butt either neither. I don't like now they
Speaker 1: have this new thing eat the booty like groceries. I
Speaker 1: think it's the stupidest thing ever. Don't don't try to
Speaker 1: lick my asshole if you're gonna go down there suck
Speaker 1: my clips, my booty. Well, I mean, clearly, it's funny
Speaker 1: thing that if you you talk to anal, do you
Speaker 1: know to get anal one of the things that you
Speaker 1: do is you you lick somebody's ass. I mean that
Speaker 1: it's what preps fell. The best anal sex was not
Speaker 1: with lubricant. The best anal sex I've ever had because
Speaker 1: I've had anal sex that I've enjoyed. Okay, get that.
Speaker 1: My son's father, I had anal sex that I enjoyed.
Speaker 1: Me and my son's father haven't been together for almost
Speaker 1: three years, but the only anal sex that I've ever
Speaker 1: enjoyed was with natural lubricant. Spit Well, yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: you gotta makes it weird inside of my body, like
Speaker 1: in my eyes. It's like like there's a there's a
Speaker 1: few moves, there's a fused moves that and they make
Speaker 1: some loves that have kind of like a nestization. Well,
Speaker 1: there's this one loop just really good. It's called pure
Speaker 1: p ju r E. And they also make an anal
Speaker 1: loupe with that has like you text me that it
Speaker 1: actually has a like uh it's uh like a novocaine,
Speaker 1: like a form of novocan. There's a couple of different
Speaker 1: You got to use a condom. You should have to
Speaker 1: if we need a numb your asks you shouldn't know
Speaker 1: because doesn't enough the man's dick. Well, ultimately the number
Speaker 1: happens initially and then it kinds of weird, kind of weird.
Speaker 1: But there's other there's like the same company she tasted
Speaker 1: in the assid She's like, girl, you gotta use this
Speaker 1: anal eat ship, but you gotta use a condom. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm in a relationship. We don't use condoms. God,
Speaker 1: but don't take my advice. You should use condoms even
Speaker 1: if you're in a relationship. Use condoms all the time.
Speaker 1: Keep your soft, protective share. It's fine. Does anybody we
Speaker 1: have like go get tested with your partner? Yeah? Absolutely, Line,
Speaker 1: you did not go go tests. I did your life, Stephanie.
Speaker 1: I could tell I'm not liar. You tested with your man,
Speaker 1: like before you date a guy and then before you
Speaker 1: take the kind of off You're like, come on, let's
Speaker 1: go get tested on. No, But every time I go,
Speaker 1: I haven't done it all the time. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: have done it no, but as well every time and
Speaker 1: my man fight, I get, I go and get an
Speaker 1: STD test. That's different. That's because I'm like Nick, Nick,
Speaker 1: what you better make sure I don't got not because
Speaker 1: cut you out. It's always good. I'm you know, it's
Speaker 1: funny when you know people. The thing about anal sex
Speaker 1: is that I think it's a really personal thing and
Speaker 1: it's a it's a trust issue because the guy can
Speaker 1: hurt you. So there's a trust and a kind of
Speaker 1: an intimacy issue that needs to be necessary for you
Speaker 1: to even get that. So if a guy like I've
Speaker 1: been with girls where I've you know, where I've went
Speaker 1: down on them and i've I've I've ate their ass
Speaker 1: and played when they played with the fingers and and
Speaker 1: then it starts to open up and where they're hot,
Speaker 1: where they're going, I won't give it to me and
Speaker 1: then I will go. But you I think as a man,
Speaker 1: I mean and this is kind of what my podcast
Speaker 1: is about. It. It's the base on the show. Well
Speaker 1: it's a it's about yeah, I guess uh, it's about
Speaker 1: the credibility of men. I think that a lot of
Speaker 1: times you get you get a lot of brothers who
Speaker 1: are growing up with single parents, don't have don't have fathers,
Speaker 1: and they don't have fathers that are teaching them how
Speaker 1: to be men. So the credibility of a man that
Speaker 1: the trust issue of where this woman feels as though
Speaker 1: she can let this guy, you know, take her to
Speaker 1: the point where she can have anal sex and it
Speaker 1: becomes and and even to understand maybe if she's not ready,
Speaker 1: you know, so if a guy you're not ready, to
Speaker 1: say this for all the guys out there, if I
Speaker 1: let you have anal sex and means because you have
Speaker 1: a small penis the only way I'm having anal sexy.
Speaker 1: If your penis is like pretty small, then maybe I'll
Speaker 1: try it. But I'm not doing that with everything A
Speaker 1: total opposite the biggest. No, honestly, I'm a total opposite
Speaker 1: the biggest. I want the biggest every time I want that,
Speaker 1: Like when I get a guy with a big dick.
Speaker 1: I want to fund me in my ass so bad,
Speaker 1: but it never works. It's too much I'll take. Now,
Speaker 1: let's switch directions a little bit, because I was having
Speaker 1: a conversation with one of my friends and she was
Speaker 1: saying that her boyfriend wants them to have a joint account. Okay,
Speaker 1: they're not married, they're not like that. But what do
Speaker 1: you think about being in a relationship, because finances are
Speaker 1: the number one reason that people get divorced to break up.
Speaker 1: What do you think about being in a relationship and
Speaker 1: having a joint account. I think you can have a
Speaker 1: joint account as long as he has his own separate
Speaker 1: account and she has her separate account as well, Like
Speaker 1: if they're living together and they have and they've decided
Speaker 1: to do that. I mean, I think it's a great
Speaker 1: way to trust. You don't you don't have to put
Speaker 1: your whole life so, but I mean it's a good way.
Speaker 1: It's a good way to to kind of build that
Speaker 1: trust in the first place, is that, Okay, we have
Speaker 1: these funds and we're spending these funds, and we can
Speaker 1: see how somebody responds or how they don't respond to
Speaker 1: having these funds in there. So if you you know,
Speaker 1: if you got you got funds in there, you have
Speaker 1: this joint account, and then every time it's a new
Speaker 1: she got a new pair of shoes, and the bills
Speaker 1: ain't paid, I mean, then it shows you. It kind
Speaker 1: of gives you an idea of where you're at. The front.
Speaker 1: I'm more thinking, like the guy is gonna take all
Speaker 1: your money out for me. I mean, I don't want
Speaker 1: to join account. Even if you can match me, I
Speaker 1: still don't want to join account. Keep your money where
Speaker 1: it's supposed to be in your bank account, and I'll
Speaker 1: keep mine. What if he's worth sixty million. If he's
Speaker 1: worth sixty million, aunt, I don't think a motherfucker with
Speaker 1: sixty million in the bank is gonna want to have
Speaker 1: a joint account. I mean probably not. The only men
Speaker 1: who want a joint account with their girls or guys
Speaker 1: who are in the struggle, you know what I mean. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean you're not gonna have a joint account with me.
Speaker 1: I work so hard to make this money, you can't.
Speaker 1: I'm not sharing it with you. I'm sharing want child. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's different. Kind of the funny things, like the base
Speaker 1: for the show is about making dudes more credible so
Speaker 1: that you don't so he's not trying to spy? Are
Speaker 1: you going to have a joint account as hard as
Speaker 1: you work, are you gonna have a joint account with someone?
Speaker 1: Never have? No for what Angela, unless we're like, unless
Speaker 1: we're married, I don't I would have a journy. This
Speaker 1: is why I would have a joining account. Like if
Speaker 1: we go on vacation twice a year and oh yeah
Speaker 1: we could, we could put ours in every month. That's
Speaker 1: so cute. I didn't even think of that. That's really
Speaker 1: cute right there. That's scared. What if you break up?
Speaker 1: What if you like get sick of the guy and
Speaker 1: then you're like, funk, we have this joint you just
Speaker 1: take the money out and you break My thing is
Speaker 1: if you're with a guy that you that you really
Speaker 1: don't that you really don't know to the point where
Speaker 1: you're worried about whether or I's gonna steal your money,
Speaker 1: that's probably a guy you shouldn't be with. No. But
Speaker 1: what Angela said is that you know you have a
Speaker 1: joint account because you're planning something. You know that's cute.
Speaker 1: I think that's cute, Like old babe, let's let's plan
Speaker 1: this vacation to go on. I mean, I don't want
Speaker 1: to be with anybody that I have to plan for
Speaker 1: a vacation six months I had, but I do have
Speaker 1: to plan for stefan advanced because I don't have off
Speaker 1: from work like that, so I know, like have this
Speaker 1: week off exactly. Girl said, you want to be able
Speaker 1: to book your flight like two days before, like, oh shit,
Speaker 1: I got three days off. I had I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: like now, Dante, you were saying that, Um, you were
Speaker 1: saying that it's okay if you have a separate account,
Speaker 1: and then you had this like I have my account,
Speaker 1: you have your account, and then we have a joint account,
Speaker 1: and that this way we can kind of build the
Speaker 1: trust by how we handle that account. I mean, I mean,
Speaker 1: if you're thinking about somebody, like you really trying to
Speaker 1: rock with somebody, I mean, that kind of trust is
Speaker 1: not built in a moment. It's built with time, and
Speaker 1: so just as well as sex and everything else, you
Speaker 1: build that trust with time. You get your joint account,
Speaker 1: you get your anales, you just build it up and
Speaker 1: then it's I mean, but I think it's it's the
Speaker 1: trust element of it. I think, you know. My thing
Speaker 1: is is I find dudes are so weak, Like I
Speaker 1: find dudes it's just so weak in turns. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: it's it's and I think it has a lot to
Speaker 1: do with the whole feminist movement and how and I
Speaker 1: don't mean in feminist movement in terms of equal pay
Speaker 1: and and maternity leaving stuff. But I'm saying that the
Speaker 1: images of men are weak. It's it's always some dude
Speaker 1: on TV begging to get a blow job or asking
Speaker 1: for permission or so on and so futh and I
Speaker 1: think that what's happening is you have this this I'm
Speaker 1: a strong woman because guys are so weak, right, So,
Speaker 1: I mean it's like so many of my past relationships,
Speaker 1: it's like the dude, right. And that's why now I
Speaker 1: think I don't I don't care how strong a woman is.
Speaker 1: In my and my experience is that when you start
Speaker 1: to show those alpha male tendencies and you show that
Speaker 1: you are the man, a woman becomes a woman. All
Speaker 1: she really wants to be. She she wants to let
Speaker 1: us do drive. But it's it's not about taking the control.
Speaker 1: It's about showing how credible you are so that a
Speaker 1: woman relinquishes the control. It's like this dude got me.
Speaker 1: It's hard for us. I mean, I think it's easy
Speaker 1: when a guy shows you that he's capable of that
Speaker 1: or that he's worthy of that control. All right, how
Speaker 1: many dates do you go on and let the guy
Speaker 1: pay before you offer, or like try to split or
Speaker 1: what like, here's the thing with that, I'm kind of
Speaker 1: a dude. I kind of always pay. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: nice for somebody to to offer, but that's it's just
Speaker 1: what I do. But it's nice to know that. Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: I don't think that there's a number of dates. I
Speaker 1: feel like you go, you go and you hang out
Speaker 1: with a guy, you let him pay for everything, and
Speaker 1: then you know you hit him up that you surprise
Speaker 1: him that one night, like maybe it's on me tonight,
Speaker 1: and it's when when do you do it? That's what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. I don't want to emasculate. I don't I
Speaker 1: don't think scalating him. And I think if you if
Speaker 1: you're offering a lot of times a guy won't let
Speaker 1: you do it anyway. They never like what if you wait?
Speaker 1: What if you make way more money than he does.
Speaker 1: I think it's still a situation. If you want you
Speaker 1: want to play in the major leagues, you're gonna play
Speaker 1: in the major leagues. And if not, I mean, I
Speaker 1: think it's agree with with a lot of money you
Speaker 1: gotta pay. It's also reasonable to say, listen, I'm really
Speaker 1: dig you, But I don't really have it like that
Speaker 1: and you can do other things. And I think if
Speaker 1: she's really a down at stick, at least this dude,
Speaker 1: this is straight up dude. But if well, you probably
Speaker 1: I think I think it's cute. You know, like you
Speaker 1: just be like, are you're surprised. I'm like, oh no,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pay it tonight. I I've just got paid,
Speaker 1: and he's gonna be like, oh, girls, I'm gonna If
Speaker 1: I like, you go out with a guy and then
Speaker 1: you offered the pain and he actually lets you see,
Speaker 1: that's another problem. What if I do that ship and
Speaker 1: then I'm like, okay, different, you know, don't ask for
Speaker 1: something if I think that's something. If you don't want it,
Speaker 1: there's a level of sincerity. If you got this guy
Speaker 1: and he's down, he's been down for you, and he's
Speaker 1: he's allowing you to relinq with you know, you're you're like, yo,
Speaker 1: this is a cool, dude, I'm relinquishing this control. And
Speaker 1: then you feel like, man, I just want to do something.
Speaker 1: Then you do it from since from the sincerity, I
Speaker 1: think that wanted to like pull out my wallet and
Speaker 1: but I'm like, yeah, but did you? But I think
Speaker 1: if you feel it, I'll do it. I'm not playing.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's I think it's a weird kind of thing.
Speaker 1: I think I'm a woman a lot of times becomes
Speaker 1: a reflection of the man that she's sucking. So absolutely
Speaker 1: all the time. If if if a chicken is acting
Speaker 1: like a bit just because her dude is a pussy
Speaker 1: and so if she's calling him motherfucker, you ain't ship
Speaker 1: and this is because she's allowing that. I mean, if
Speaker 1: I if I'm taking out somebody for the first day
Speaker 1: and you and you go silly asked, motherfucker, I go,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, listen, I don't really funk like that, Like,
Speaker 1: don't talk to me like that, because it's that can
Speaker 1: only escalate to something. This is a whole like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but men like that, but this is a whole well
Speaker 1: in general. I mean, I wouldn't care what it is.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think you have to start to set
Speaker 1: these boundaries up front, because if she's calling you that now,
Speaker 1: then she'll be calling you something else later. But you
Speaker 1: know what I'm just saying. I mean, even if it's
Speaker 1: in like, oh, you're silly asked motherfucker, even if it's playful,
Speaker 1: I go listen. Honestly, I feel like, if you're in
Speaker 1: a relationship and your man allows you to talk down
Speaker 1: on him or vice versa, right, you guys aren't in
Speaker 1: even right. My friend, one of my friends, talk so
Speaker 1: crazy to this guy that she dates, and he talks
Speaker 1: so crazy back to her, and then like, you know,
Speaker 1: you guys like you talk like that to him, and
Speaker 1: then you get man, many touch like that to you,
Speaker 1: but you talk like that to him. Super Honestly, I
Speaker 1: would never be okay with a man who lets me
Speaker 1: call him a bit chass nigga. I would never call him.
Speaker 1: I would never be okay with that. Do you. I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm a woman at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: and no matter how strong and independent I am, I
Speaker 1: do really well for myself. But a man is a man,
Speaker 1: is a man is a man, and you have to
Speaker 1: submit to your man as a woman. I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't think that a man should disrespect you, but you
Speaker 1: can't be disrespecting a man like he's a little girl.
Speaker 1: But I think they're there are guys who are acting
Speaker 1: like little girls who kind of know that's true. And
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that that's necessarily the way to handle it,
Speaker 1: but I'm saying what I'm saying no, if a man
Speaker 1: is as you're gonna get treated like. That's always the case.
Speaker 1: But I think one of the things is because in time,
Speaker 1: like with relationships and feminism and all relationship all this stuff,
Speaker 1: we look at it because we were still animals and
Speaker 1: there are still these instinctual drives underneath everything. So when
Speaker 1: a woman finds like you can say I like a
Speaker 1: dude like this, and I like to do with that,
Speaker 1: and I want this car and I want him to
Speaker 1: look like this. But you you don't know what you want.
Speaker 1: Your pussy does. Your pussy tells you I like this dude.
Speaker 1: So it's a very kind of visceral thing that happens. So,
Speaker 1: but there's a there's an there's kind of this instinctual
Speaker 1: drive that that makes you feel that and and that
Speaker 1: drive seeps through what I call the social contract. The
Speaker 1: social contract, fidelity, monogamy, marriage, all of those things that
Speaker 1: we created on a cognitive level. But if you don't
Speaker 1: take into consideration that this that these things exist, that
Speaker 1: all that thought that attraction is, it's it comes from
Speaker 1: an attraction of a guy who gives off that energy
Speaker 1: that makes you feel safe. I totally agree with you
Speaker 1: because when a guy gives me the energy that he's
Speaker 1: a sucker, I treat him like a sun. It's an
Speaker 1: interesting thing, and so I think, and a lot of
Speaker 1: times guys don't really even understand what there's. There's subtle
Speaker 1: things that tell you that this dude is really not
Speaker 1: credible that makes you shake up and go, wow, this
Speaker 1: dude is really not credible, and you go and then
Speaker 1: you don't even know. And a lot of times dudes
Speaker 1: be like you know, you get guys like they are
Speaker 1: this bitch, that this bitch, that this bitching. But the
Speaker 1: reality is that you're bringing that out, You're giving off
Speaker 1: this feminine energy, and she's rejecting it because you're not
Speaker 1: making her feel safe. Feeling safe is a super important thing.
Speaker 1: No I feel. I feel that. But for me, it's
Speaker 1: like like you said, we are animals and we have
Speaker 1: instincts like you. You You can't smell, you can't tell it,
Speaker 1: you don't know it, but from all are very important.
Speaker 1: You smell it on people. And when a man lets
Speaker 1: you treat him like a bit, you're gonna treat him
Speaker 1: like a bit. It's it's there's a lot of things.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's body language, this language, and a woman.
Speaker 1: As a woman, you want to be independent, you want
Speaker 1: to do things on your own and always of course,
Speaker 1: but you want to submit to you a man, you
Speaker 1: want to be safe, you want to feel protected, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So if you are going on
Speaker 1: disrespecting him, it's because you get that vibe. That's so
Speaker 1: what can a guy do to give you the vibe
Speaker 1: that he's a bit by acting like a bit? Like examples,
Speaker 1: I think crying in front of well, you know what, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think even that if you've got a really hard dude,
Speaker 1: does it happen to me? And then you instantly thought
Speaker 1: that this guy was a bit because he cried. Well,
Speaker 1: I just couldn't after that, Now was it? This was
Speaker 1: the crying in the content because he didn't know what
Speaker 1: to do with his life. It was like really, but
Speaker 1: see that's a different thing. See the decisiveness of man,
Speaker 1: the decisiveness of men. Yeah, it was not that long.
Speaker 1: But it's like she loves her young boy. I think
Speaker 1: the decisiveness of man is is attractive. Like if you
Speaker 1: if somebody says, if you go you want to go
Speaker 1: out to eat, and you go, yeah, well you want
Speaker 1: to go? Well, it's like listen, get your clothes on,
Speaker 1: let's go. I like somebody to take and nothing me too.
Speaker 1: I like to be submissed. Drive where a guy is taking.
Speaker 1: You know, you know what I feel like. I'm a
Speaker 1: really powerful woman. I you know, I've I've been independent
Speaker 1: for a very long time, like I have a whole story. Yes,
Speaker 1: of course I do like to get slapped and show
Speaker 1: a lot. But oh, we know, you know, as as
Speaker 1: strong as you know, as a as a woman myself.
Speaker 1: You know, at the end of the day, I'm a girl,
Speaker 1: I am a woman. I'm I'm a little baby. I'm
Speaker 1: a little woman baby. Yes, I am baby. And I
Speaker 1: want to get treated as No, I want to get
Speaker 1: treated as such. And I want I want my man
Speaker 1: to be able to protect me. I want him to
Speaker 1: be more powerful than me. If I disrespect my man,
Speaker 1: I need there to be consequences. I need to not
Speaker 1: want to disrespect my man. Somebody said I was gonna
Speaker 1: make you a man. She's saying she's speaking the truth.
Speaker 1: It's really it's it really is that kind of visceral thing. Right,
Speaker 1: I'm right. No, you're absolutely right. Ye're absolutely right. But woman,
Speaker 1: but even I think you know a lot of young dudes, Well,
Speaker 1: they don't even pick up the keys and the cues
Speaker 1: when they're having sex. Like so for Mrance, you know,
Speaker 1: I even teach teach this, like say, girl, the girl
Speaker 1: is mission every style right, if she's missing everything I
Speaker 1: like mentioned everybody way, I like that, and her her
Speaker 1: hips relaxed, Like if the the joints in her hips
Speaker 1: relax and her legs fall back, she wants you deeper.
Speaker 1: That is the signal to know she's deeper. If she's
Speaker 1: pressing those those hamstrings against the funt of your legs,
Speaker 1: you're too deep. Now, you can't be like I'm a
Speaker 1: tear this pussy up and she's she's wincing and she's
Speaker 1: pushing you away because you're too deep. That's not what
Speaker 1: having sex. You're supposed to check these cues if you
Speaker 1: go down on. One of the things that I tell
Speaker 1: dudes all the time is watch a woman's diaphragm, Watch
Speaker 1: how her diaphragm, her watch her breathing, the depth of
Speaker 1: her breathing. And so when you're doing the right thing,
Speaker 1: you'll her breathing will get deeper, She'll breathe deeper. And
Speaker 1: those little clues and studies are not even aware of that.
Speaker 1: They don't even get the fact that you should be
Speaker 1: picking up these clues and somebody's going down on me
Speaker 1: and it's going great, and then they switch it up.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, no, no, but that's because but you
Speaker 1: gotta tell him doing it and the rhythm is STAPs
Speaker 1: whom as let me, let me ask you something, but
Speaker 1: it's not about to come anymore. Like, like you said,
Speaker 1: you'd like to get choked. But the worst thing in
Speaker 1: the world is to have a dude that you got
Speaker 1: to tell him to choke you, or tell a dude
Speaker 1: that you gotta want So if he's not if he's
Speaker 1: not listening to these cues and he's not watching and
Speaker 1: paying attention, because he's really just like how can you
Speaker 1: because you can put his hands on your neck telling him. No,
Speaker 1: you don't even have to do that. I mean, look,
Speaker 1: if he's what if he really doesn't want to, you know, like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm telling have guys that I'll be like, babe, pull
Speaker 1: my hair, choke me, and I'm like, no, you should
Speaker 1: tell him, man, exactly what you went great if you're
Speaker 1: comfortable with what is better than being with a guy
Speaker 1: who anticipates what your needs are before you've even conceptualized
Speaker 1: what those needs are. Your psychic It's like he's stepping step.
Speaker 1: He's a stepping So if even if I'm may love
Speaker 1: to somebody and I will I might run, I might
Speaker 1: run my hands to your hair, and then I will
Speaker 1: cover your throat. I'll cover your throat and see where
Speaker 1: your head is out. And I might get terrified right now,
Speaker 1: but maybe it maybe it could be a gentle cover.
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna cover your throat and see where you're
Speaker 1: at with that. Now if if, if you if I
Speaker 1: cover your throat and you throw your head back, and
Speaker 1: then I might go a little if it gets a
Speaker 1: little wetter, You're like, okay, So I mean I think
Speaker 1: you have to. So the sex should be even the
Speaker 1: first few times, the sex should be this kind of
Speaker 1: as a guy, you should be exploring these things that
Speaker 1: you know if she's into this, if you go to
Speaker 1: the bat, I mean, you know, guys will pull her hair,
Speaker 1: but you don't pull her hair from the bottom of
Speaker 1: the hair. You know, you go up the bat. It's
Speaker 1: is something that man needs to learn. You don't pull
Speaker 1: the hair from the end of it. You go fucking crazy,
Speaker 1: Like what the fun you put the hand on the
Speaker 1: scalp and and a nice little tuge wrap the roots
Speaker 1: and then and then you see where is it? And
Speaker 1: then if you I think if you, when you see,
Speaker 1: then you push further and you gotta see where you
Speaker 1: gotta go from there where she's at now. I mean
Speaker 1: you you can escalate and then there comes a time
Speaker 1: where you you'll feel that if it's too much, a
Speaker 1: woman will kind of genuineflect about wow, that's and then
Speaker 1: you know the back down because I'd be like, oh no, no, no.
Speaker 1: Listen to my boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend like he
Speaker 1: listened to me that my current boyfriend, like he knows
Speaker 1: exactly how to touch me. He knows exactly how to
Speaker 1: be rough or be gentle. And I've asked him about it,
Speaker 1: like Babe, have you ever done that to other girls?
Speaker 1: And he's like yeah, we oh cooking. But you know
Speaker 1: what the same thing for guys know what to do
Speaker 1: because I have friends tell me that you got to
Speaker 1: try things with guys instead of asking them about certain
Speaker 1: things like stick a finger in his asshole, want him
Speaker 1: no guys going to ask you for what men want
Speaker 1: to finger and they asked they do a little nudge.
Speaker 1: They want you to put it like you're sucking their
Speaker 1: dick and you got your hand there and they're like
Speaker 1: the next thing. Some guys like once like you no,
Speaker 1: like this one ax that I had, like like when
Speaker 1: I touched his balls a lot. So then my next
Speaker 1: boyfriend I went to touch his ball, he fucking freaked
Speaker 1: out like oh, and I was like fragile, like he
Speaker 1: acted like I just almost like you was crazy. Women.
Speaker 1: You know, some women to touch balls? How do some grabbed?
Speaker 1: I like them hold. Some guys don't want to, and
Speaker 1: that's fine, but I mean it's still a situation where
Speaker 1: you have to try. You gotta, you have to try
Speaker 1: these things, and it's kind of this exploration. I think.
Speaker 1: What another thing is it is getting lost is the
Speaker 1: intimacy of it, the intent A lot of times that
Speaker 1: you know, it's guys going through the motions. This is
Speaker 1: what I did with my last chick, this is what
Speaker 1: I'm doing with you, instead of understanding, okay, here's this
Speaker 1: is this is what I know how to do. Let
Speaker 1: me try this, let me try that, let me and
Speaker 1: then taking a sort of a mental uh note, Okay,
Speaker 1: she likes this, she doesn't like this, She likes it rough.
Speaker 1: She likes this, so you take and then every time
Speaker 1: you make love to her, you if you're picking up
Speaker 1: more and more information about her, so the sex gets better.
Speaker 1: So you're constantly and you have to have That's why
Speaker 1: every sex, not even only sex relationships, it's all about communication.
Speaker 1: You have to get to know each other. That's why
Speaker 1: people who are who are just meeting each other and
Speaker 1: then throwing their legs up or sticking their dick out.
Speaker 1: It never works. You can't have a really good experience
Speaker 1: because you guys are not communicating and it's hard, and
Speaker 1: like for one night stands or that kind of thing,
Speaker 1: It's like, how can you even have good sex when
Speaker 1: you don't even know you don't know each other. I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't think it ever happens. I mean, there's no
Speaker 1: way that if I suck you today and I suck
Speaker 1: you ten times from now, ten times, when it's gonna
Speaker 1: be ways open and it was the first time because
Speaker 1: there's a level of comfort, there's a level of intomy's intimacy,
Speaker 1: and I think the intent is something that I would
Speaker 1: I've been experimenting with myself as the intent. So I
Speaker 1: think sometimes a guy will kiss you because he wants
Speaker 1: to grab your tists. He will grab your tist because
Speaker 1: he wants to suck you, when if he just thought
Speaker 1: the kiss is the most important thing, like being present
Speaker 1: in that kiss with your lips are pressed up and
Speaker 1: there's a moisture, lips slight instead of the next being
Speaker 1: in that moment and if that kiss is the only
Speaker 1: thing that he gets this kind of sexual satisfaction from
Speaker 1: the from the intent of making this kiss, as if
Speaker 1: this is the best kiss I'm ever gonna give, this
Speaker 1: is the last kiss, So being in that moment. Are
Speaker 1: there times and people just aren't good at things though,
Speaker 1: no matter what, Like you could like somebody a lot,
Speaker 1: have been with him a long time, but for some reason,
Speaker 1: they just don't just not get get at it. No.
Speaker 1: And for me, you know, like somebody might be so
Speaker 1: good at somebody as something to someone and then to
Speaker 1: the next person. There's but I think you can practice,
Speaker 1: and I think you can communicate, and I think if
Speaker 1: you start to you under I think what you have
Speaker 1: to get good at is reading the cues. And for me,
Speaker 1: relationships are all about chemistry, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: If if you like like you were, you were just
Speaker 1: talking about it. A kiss is so important, like if
Speaker 1: you it's it's for me, it's the most important things.
Speaker 1: Some pole than kissing is more intimate than sex, much
Speaker 1: more intimate than I don't know that. Yeah, yeah that's true.
Speaker 1: But for me, like if you don't match, if your
Speaker 1: mouth don't match, it's a waste of time. Well, you know,
Speaker 1: because you gotta be able to breathe someone in. You
Speaker 1: gotta be able to take in their breath, and you know,
Speaker 1: to kiss something and feel it. You know what I
Speaker 1: think you have. You know, it's like when you there
Speaker 1: used to be a game used to play when you're
Speaker 1: a kid, and you like, yeah, yeah, But I think
Speaker 1: what's funny is I think like I said that the
Speaker 1: first thing I said was a man, a woman is
Speaker 1: a reflection of the guy she's with, and so when
Speaker 1: he's intimate and when he's at present in the moment
Speaker 1: and he's present with every act, she will be present
Speaker 1: in every act. Right, So I think you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: guys will kill me for this, but I said, any
Speaker 1: time a relationship doesn't work, it's it's the guy's fault
Speaker 1: because a woman attaches herself of course, because he's the
Speaker 1: here's here's the thing, if if, if I you know,
Speaker 1: I have this thing called the coffee cup theory. Like
Speaker 1: you know, you go to a diner, you get a
Speaker 1: coffee cup, and then the little the little dude runs around.
Speaker 1: If your coffee cup is empty, right, the dude fills
Speaker 1: up your coffee cup. So me, as your man, I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to make sure your coffee cup is full. So
Speaker 1: when the next dude comes around, he goes, oh, oh,
Speaker 1: now you're good. Your cup is already full. So I
Speaker 1: can use a little cream. Now, well I didn't. But
Speaker 1: if it's if it's full, if it's full, you gotta
Speaker 1: pull some of the coffee. You have to put the cream.
Speaker 1: And you know what you feel what I'm saying, it's
Speaker 1: it's this is this is what guys are not doing.
Speaker 1: They're not understanding that they have to read these cues
Speaker 1: and fulfill these needs and and the same contents set boundaries.
Speaker 1: Be strong enough so that you're credible enough, dude, that
Speaker 1: a woman could relinquish the control and give you that
Speaker 1: control and still but still be able to cultivate her
Speaker 1: in her own kind of artistic endeavors, and and so
Speaker 1: that she can grow as a woman. But she's still
Speaker 1: because she has that foundation and everything is good at
Speaker 1: home and this dude's got her back. And when it's
Speaker 1: all crazy and she feels crazy, like oh, I don't
Speaker 1: know what to do, this is crazy, he's gonna be
Speaker 1: able to you know, lay down, let me rub your ass.
Speaker 1: That good at home. That's when women cheat, right, Absolutely,
Speaker 1: women what happened. But I think that I think what
Speaker 1: happens is a lot of times. Um, it's a lot
Speaker 1: of times women are selling guys what they want to
Speaker 1: sell them instead of what they want. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, like the I'm sucking you when I'm this
Speaker 1: and I'm not and I'm I'm that's not necessarily what
Speaker 1: he wants. So I think you have to tap into
Speaker 1: what he wants to keep it. But I mean, I
Speaker 1: I I personally believe that when the guy is on point,
Speaker 1: I've never seen a woman, no matter how crazy she is.
Speaker 1: But what do you mean what I'm saying is this
Speaker 1: dude like I you know, there's been even times when
Speaker 1: I've had multiple partners, right, well, I've had you know,
Speaker 1: but I know your bra siyes, I know your panty size,
Speaker 1: I know your shoes size, I know I know what
Speaker 1: food you like. I know that you know. I mean,
Speaker 1: you have to be this dude who's an extraordinary dude
Speaker 1: that where you're you're tuned into into the moment of
Speaker 1: who this woman is and what her needs are, not
Speaker 1: necessarily what her wants are, but what her needs is,
Speaker 1: what her needs, what her weaknesses are, what or not?
Speaker 1: And you gotta be listening because women talk, y'all talk
Speaker 1: everything talk, so fud problem is that dudes are not listening.
Speaker 1: They're not listening to what you're saying, and not necessary
Speaker 1: specifically what you're saying. But but you have to look
Speaker 1: at what the undertone of what a woman is talking.
Speaker 1: Does every man cheat? I think a lot of guys do,
Speaker 1: but I don't think you have to. I don't get
Speaker 1: every man. If you if you're aware of that? No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no nine eight percent eight Do you know why I say?
Speaker 1: I feel like no, you know what, I don't know
Speaker 1: the percent. I don't know that she made it up,
Speaker 1: but I made it up. I just breathed out it.
Speaker 1: But listen to me. Let no wait. I think that
Speaker 1: a man will cheat according to his opportunities. If if you,
Speaker 1: if you, if you take it care of your man.
Speaker 1: You're keeping him at home everything truck him in sad. Now,
Speaker 1: if your man is in the strip club all the tom, hey, girlfriend,
Speaker 1: he might be cheating. Great, well you don't like you're
Speaker 1: right there. You'll see guys do different things in terms
Speaker 1: of this opportunities opportunities excuse me if if you know,
Speaker 1: but I mean, yeah, like that's the problem with dating
Speaker 1: men and entertainment. Men and entertainment. It's entertainment. You know
Speaker 1: what those doctors they say, doctors are high on the list. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's say in the airport. Then at the airport, men
Speaker 1: in the airport cheat percent of the time. Men we're
Speaker 1: going to cheat. Okay, Well, man who works in the
Speaker 1: cheat with a girl who needs the milk. Lu's right here.
Speaker 1: I mean I think it's both ways. I think one
Speaker 1: of the things about women is is they're attraction to
Speaker 1: men is such an emotional thing. Like the minute she
Speaker 1: don't minute a woman When a minute you've shown yourself
Speaker 1: to be this bitch and she decided that you're a bit.
Speaker 1: It's it's a wrap. There's no loyalty, does nothing that Look,
Speaker 1: I don't feel you like that's like what you said.
Speaker 1: I saw this dude cry and then I don't know,
Speaker 1: it depends on what he cries about. This was just
Speaker 1: like an unnecessary like cry, like you're just tearious and
Speaker 1: it's like one slow might be like I love one
Speaker 1: like I love, not like a couple of tears and
Speaker 1: like whining and like crying. I'm like watching the news
Speaker 1: and something. Listen to me. I'm a woman. I cry.
Speaker 1: I cry for the commercial with the cats and the
Speaker 1: dogs over there. It's like, what if he does if
Speaker 1: my man cries over the cats and the dogs are
Speaker 1: breaking up with, you gotta get out of my house.
Speaker 1: I don't want to, you know more. I hate my cats.
Speaker 1: I can't. When she said that, when she said the
Speaker 1: dude that cried, it's not that he cried. He cried
Speaker 1: about his life. So he has no direction and you
Speaker 1: don't feel safe with him because he doesn't have any direction.
Speaker 1: And that's what makes that's what it matters. It's too
Speaker 1: bossy to be with a crying ass man. Do you
Speaker 1: think if a guy isn't like coming up with plans,
Speaker 1: like he's just like, we'll do whatever you want, is
Speaker 1: that like not cool? Yeah? I think it's not. I
Speaker 1: don't think that's cool. I think I d back, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I think a guy would direction, but he's awesome.
Speaker 1: I mean, but he just wants to do whatever I
Speaker 1: want to do, you know. I think that's the dates
Speaker 1: I've ever been on with guys and guys that I
Speaker 1: dated at people that come up with like, let's try this, rest,
Speaker 1: let's do that. That's the best. I hate when I
Speaker 1: have to come up with everything I ever figure out
Speaker 1: what I want to eat. But you you get tired
Speaker 1: if you've got a guy that's not that has no
Speaker 1: direction and he's not decisive. Eventually that you're you're like, well,
Speaker 1: what the you know what? And then you start to
Speaker 1: feel unsafe. It's it's almost it's almost a visceral kind
Speaker 1: of feeling. It's like an instinctual feeling like why is
Speaker 1: he not he don't have nothing, he don't want to
Speaker 1: do nothing, like what my main thing is that you
Speaker 1: find him less attractive and now it starts to fall apart. Right,
Speaker 1: I agree with that direction and making that It's a
Speaker 1: funny thing. Like I remember, like I was watching Oprah
Speaker 1: one time, right, and Oprah was why she was buying
Speaker 1: a uh like a Labordor retriever right, and Stepman was
Speaker 1: with her right, and so now this is Oprah, fifty
Speaker 1: billion dollar Oprah. So she's looking at them. She's like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, the puppy is so cute. I'm want
Speaker 1: to buy them all right, And Stepman goes, no, you
Speaker 1: can have one, and I'm like, oh, right, you you
Speaker 1: pick one and I'll pick one. But that's it. And
Speaker 1: I was like, this is why she's this dude, you
Speaker 1: can have them all. Oprah could buy all the labornor retrievers,
Speaker 1: put him on an island and call it. And but
Speaker 1: the fact that even in the context of this woman
Speaker 1: who is is mega rich, has a guy who she
Speaker 1: counts on and who she she feels that she can
Speaker 1: go to and confide in and that he's got her back,
Speaker 1: is why she's with you. Nothing. He won't actually he
Speaker 1: won't marry her. And if you think about if you
Speaker 1: really think that, you show me, you show me a
Speaker 1: black woman, you show me an older black woman who
Speaker 1: was telling the world that she doesn't really believe in marriage.
Speaker 1: That's bullshit, like this is an overweight Why stem not
Speaker 1: married because you don't want to? Why I don't know
Speaker 1: about my god? How do we know he doesn't want
Speaker 1: to marry you don't tell me, you tell me over
Speaker 1: me too, don't want that. You tell me a black
Speaker 1: man that don't want to marry the richest woman, a
Speaker 1: black man I don't want you don't want to marry
Speaker 1: forever though exactly. But what I'm saying is that's how
Speaker 1: pimp he is. He's actually got this black woman saying
Speaker 1: I don't really believe in marriage. That's that's when we
Speaker 1: get into I don't about she say, that's a whole absolutely,
Speaker 1: you see, I think you want to believe that. I'm
Speaker 1: not Listen, here's here's you can here's what you cause.
Speaker 1: All you have to do is look at the pictures.
Speaker 1: You look about the picture. When you look at the
Speaker 1: pictures and you see Oprah open, Stepman looks like the man,
Speaker 1: and Oprah looks like the girl. You watch watch Brad
Speaker 1: Pitt got bags, he's too feet behind, he's carrying, she's
Speaker 1: got a bunch of kids, she's he's dragging. I mean,
Speaker 1: Angelina is definitely the Boss's angeline. You can see this.
Speaker 1: You can see that. Yeah, she's open until you put
Speaker 1: a dick in her. Then she's so she is to
Speaker 1: you put a second her I think you and I
Speaker 1: act to get along really well. Jesus. I mean, but
Speaker 1: the credibility of it. I think the credibility of men
Speaker 1: is an important thing, and I think we're losing now. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I agree with you as a woman. As a woman,
Speaker 1: let me tell you something. I do really well for myself.
Speaker 1: I'm very grateful and blessed that I have had opportunities
Speaker 1: to be able to take care of myself and live well.
Speaker 1: But I still feel like my man should be over
Speaker 1: and above me. I should be able to listen to
Speaker 1: my man. And who cares about financially money is green paper?
Speaker 1: Who cares? Nobody cares about money at least I don't.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry at all. No. I mean I want to
Speaker 1: make money, of course everybody. But I do well for myself,
Speaker 1: and I like, no, no, pretty broke, he's got. If
Speaker 1: my man is good to me and he's that's the
Speaker 1: whole thing I'm talking about. If my man is good
Speaker 1: to me and he's broke or he's rich, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: I am. I should be as a woman, as a
Speaker 1: girl submissive to my man. But here's you can have
Speaker 1: a rich dude and he's a bit, don't that's a bit. Now.
Speaker 1: If you got a guy who we don't have it
Speaker 1: popping right now, but you believe in him, and this
Speaker 1: kid is working and he's moving and shaking it trying
Speaker 1: to make it happen, because it's that's the safety you
Speaker 1: feel as a woman. Dude, you want to look as
Speaker 1: a woman. Listen, I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt
Speaker 1: you as a woman, but as a woman, I want
Speaker 1: my man to be able to protect me. I want
Speaker 1: my man to be able to talk over me, to
Speaker 1: put me in my mother fucking place. But if you're
Speaker 1: in her place, that you can finish saying what you
Speaker 1: were saying. What she's saying is what she's saying is
Speaker 1: the truth. It's it's like, you know, it's that thing
Speaker 1: when you you look, get dressed. It's get dressed, getting
Speaker 1: the car, we're gonna go somewhere. Where are we going,
Speaker 1: and just getting just life. Absolutely So it's not even
Speaker 1: about pimping, because pimping is something you go out and
Speaker 1: the street and you bust it and then you bring
Speaker 1: the money home. It's the same. But that's not what
Speaker 1: I'm doing. I don't get your man money because no
Speaker 1: matter how rich or how broke. My man is, I
Speaker 1: don't need to support him because he's a man and
Speaker 1: he could take care of himself. And if he's not
Speaker 1: supporting himself, then he doesn't have the credibility anywhere. So
Speaker 1: you you want a guy to drive, but you want
Speaker 1: to make sure that he's capable of driving, you know,
Speaker 1: you see, and this is any time I've ever taken
Speaker 1: a check out and we go someplace, go drive, She'll
Speaker 1: get up in the chair folder, you know, like folder
Speaker 1: legs in the chair. It's kind of like it's almost
Speaker 1: this little girl thing that comes where they just sit
Speaker 1: on there like where we going, where we go? And
Speaker 1: but you gotta, as a dude, you gotta be able
Speaker 1: to bring that little girl out of her, like you
Speaker 1: gotta feelsoofy. All right, I'm just gonna chill. My man
Speaker 1: is he's driving, and that the credibility of it's important.
Speaker 1: And how does a guy. I gotta talk to Leah, right,
Speaker 1: what's going on in your head? What do you think?
Speaker 1: Because is like no, I mean, it's just it's different.
Speaker 1: I guess it's like I've just dated such different kinds
Speaker 1: of guys, like maybe because my energy is masculine or something, Right,
Speaker 1: so like too, I always kind of like have taken
Speaker 1: the Marines and like say, what's going down? Is that?
Speaker 1: I feel like we watched the child want I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think like that sounds cool, but like it also
Speaker 1: sounds bossy, like we're going how do I have? Like
Speaker 1: are we gonna be okay? Are we are dying? Like okay,
Speaker 1: we're gonna go get ready? That would be that'd be cool.
Speaker 1: Like there was one instance, like there was this guy
Speaker 1: and he and me and him had kind of had
Speaker 1: similar personalities and it's just like whoa Like it was
Speaker 1: like I need like a yang to my wait wait
Speaker 1: wait wait, I think what I think? It's sometimes a
Speaker 1: good guys who are aggressive, and usually a lot of
Speaker 1: guys who are aggressive are become abusive, and that's the problem.
Speaker 1: That's what the fear is of having an aggressive dude,
Speaker 1: because because he's aggressive, he's abusive, and if he's soft,
Speaker 1: then he's a bit. The real thing is walking the
Speaker 1: tight rope between a guy who is aggressive but he's
Speaker 1: still considerate context of what and somebody has to be
Speaker 1: able to check me when I step out of line
Speaker 1: because you have to do as a woman, you make
Speaker 1: your own money. You do own the house, she owns
Speaker 1: her own car, owns the house, she's not backed up
Speaker 1: on her bills, and Julie is very successful. But I'm
Speaker 1: sure that you want a man to be like, hey, chill,
Speaker 1: don't don't flip out on me because I'm a man, Like,
Speaker 1: don't get too crazy because I also can't let you
Speaker 1: let me talk crazy to you, because after that it's over,
Speaker 1: it's over. I know Angela. Angela was on radio. This
Speaker 1: is what she does. She could cut somebody up all
Speaker 1: probably you know what I'm saying. I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: there's a lot to it. I mean, I think if
Speaker 1: you're if you're if you're intelligent, you want a man
Speaker 1: who's intelligent. Yet radio you're articulate, so you want a
Speaker 1: man who's articulate. But you also want to feel safe.
Speaker 1: You want a guy who can teach you things and
Speaker 1: show you things that you didn't maybe even give you
Speaker 1: a perspective on something that you didn't have before. And
Speaker 1: if you you're going to this well and he's got
Speaker 1: nothing to give you, then and you're better than him.
Speaker 1: A woman never dates a guy who she's better than that.
Speaker 1: Better is not better, it is not. But but that's
Speaker 1: what that's exactly. But that's why they don't last always
Speaker 1: because the ones you said, your relationship relationships last. The
Speaker 1: thing with Leah is that Lena, it is so bossed up.
Speaker 1: Leah is like she she's the man. She is that
Speaker 1: a day, Leah, you do, you do date down Leah
Speaker 1: sometimes know, And that's the thing with Leah is that,
Speaker 1: you know, she she's like looking at these like it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, you can't beat me. That's sometimes that's that's
Speaker 1: in the context of her and there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with that. She likes the big dicks.
Speaker 1: That's with the you know, she's her big money bank.
Speaker 1: And you know, you know, Leah is just like, you know,
Speaker 1: like I might date, I'm young, i might date, I'm old.
Speaker 1: At the end of the day, nobody's talking with me. No,
Speaker 1: you gotta do that. Felt I feel a great dick
Speaker 1: pick and I'm just never I mean, well, I mean
Speaker 1: that's the starting point. Good, But you talk with me.
Speaker 1: Is that that's a problem Lia is that the guys
Speaker 1: that she is meeting, they can't really funk with her.
Speaker 1: That's what it is. Well, you know, she treats them
Speaker 1: like the bitch as niggas. But when she does meet,
Speaker 1: when she does meet somebody, when she ultimately does meet
Speaker 1: somebody who can't funk with her, that's when she'll fall
Speaker 1: in love. I'm naughty, She's look really ready because it's
Speaker 1: maybe you aren't really even really aren't trying to find
Speaker 1: the right person by dating all these people that you
Speaker 1: know are the right people. Know, But that's why she
Speaker 1: she I could tell just from her whole demeanor that
Speaker 1: she's not playing no games. She's like, whatever, I might
Speaker 1: get this sex, but you can leave. You know, it's
Speaker 1: weird because you know, like if you ask anybody, do
Speaker 1: you if I as, if I say are you perfect?
Speaker 1: You go, of course not right. But although we understand
Speaker 1: on a cognitive level that nobody's perfect, a lot of
Speaker 1: times we hold ourselves to the standards of perfection. But
Speaker 1: but we hold ourselves to those standards of perfection even
Speaker 1: though we cognitively know that perfection doesn't exist. And if
Speaker 1: we we admit that we're not we're not perfect. What
Speaker 1: does that mean? It means that we make mistakes. And
Speaker 1: if we make mistakes, then we need forgiveness. And if
Speaker 1: we need forgiveness, then you have to give forgiveness. So
Speaker 1: I mean there's always has to be a leeway in
Speaker 1: terms of what you that these are human beings and
Speaker 1: that you're trying to fit together and you you you
Speaker 1: make mistakes, and so that doesn't mean dating out of
Speaker 1: what your needs are. You still have to put your
Speaker 1: needs first. But I'm a firm believer that it is
Speaker 1: the man's job to figure out and anticipate what those
Speaker 1: needs are and to filth fulfill them even before you
Speaker 1: conceptualize what they are in your own head, by listening
Speaker 1: to you. Because in a like, a woman will be
Speaker 1: in an emotional situation where she's this is crazy and
Speaker 1: this is going crazy and and he should be able
Speaker 1: to see through that and and and say, well, this
Speaker 1: is this is what's going on, and this is what
Speaker 1: you need. You know. What's great with guys do if
Speaker 1: you get into an argument or a fight with them
Speaker 1: and instead of them keeping it going, they ended. I
Speaker 1: think that's a great Like, okay, whatever. When somebody stubborn
Speaker 1: with me, me too, I hate that. I like for
Speaker 1: you know, like want to I want you to give
Speaker 1: me your argument. I want to listen, I want to
Speaker 1: hear how you feel. I want to I want to
Speaker 1: get up in your mind. But he's very don't judge me.
Speaker 1: Love it's very funny. But this I know Dator has
Speaker 1: to go because he does stand up comedy. He has
Speaker 1: to go to stand up. Oh my god, that's so cool. Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I love you. Guys can come out
Speaker 1: and invite you. Guys can come to the show whenever
Speaker 1: you want to come show. Yeah, I enjoyed this conversation
Speaker 1: with you. I'm glad you did. Yeah, ma'ma have. The
Speaker 1: Beige Philip podcast is on Beige Philip dot com. You
Speaker 1: can follow me on Dante twitter at at Dante Narrow
Speaker 1: d A N T E N E r oh. And
Speaker 1: I also do one on one consultations. I do phone consultations.
Speaker 1: That saved me Dante at gmail dot com. If you
Speaker 1: gave me for what what you do? You do consultations
Speaker 1: for a manage? Yeah, definitely help if you have. I
Speaker 1: don't need help. Very It's really interesting too. I find
Speaker 1: that very interesting. I've been doing it for quite a time.
Speaker 1: I used I was doing it for for years. I've
Speaker 1: been doing the podcast for three years, and I was
Speaker 1: the emails that I would get into questions that I
Speaker 1: was getting it just got a little crazy that we
Speaker 1: just started a business. But let me ask you one
Speaker 1: question because a lot of people send me in questions
Speaker 1: and I got to ask you one of them from
Speaker 1: I ask ye because people always want to know the
Speaker 1: one let me get it. Oh no, but I've really
Speaker 1: enjoyed our conversation. I want to I'm gonna subscribe to
Speaker 1: your podcast. I'm gonna listen to it because I like
Speaker 1: to listen to things on a male perspective. Okay, here's when. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm twenty three. I haven't had too many experiences dating,
Speaker 1: although I've had a couple of friends and benefits and
Speaker 1: realize it's not my thing. Could you give me some
Speaker 1: tips about that? First few weeks are months of getting
Speaker 1: to know someone during the dating process. How often should
Speaker 1: we talk? What are the boundaries? And how do you
Speaker 1: keep them interested in? How do you find out their
Speaker 1: true intentions? Is is what I say to a lot?
Speaker 1: Is this a guy a female? Okay? I think what
Speaker 1: you have to do first and foremost as be the
Speaker 1: best version of yourself. I think a lot of times
Speaker 1: when you have younger women and they're still trying to
Speaker 1: find themselves and trying to they don't really have the
Speaker 1: direction of when you're the best version of yourself, then
Speaker 1: you can be confident about how you put yourself and
Speaker 1: what your needs are. So I think that is first
Speaker 1: and form and foremost when it comes to dating. I think, um,
Speaker 1: I think you have to be a woman can be
Speaker 1: as honest as she wants and and I think she
Speaker 1: has to be as strong as she wants. You can't
Speaker 1: ask a woman to be less strong or less of
Speaker 1: what she is. It's a guy's job to manage that
Speaker 1: and to find out where he fits into that. But
Speaker 1: you know what that said, what I think the biggest
Speaker 1: problem when you're first dating someone in the beginning is
Speaker 1: that you're never your real self. Well, I think that's
Speaker 1: the important I think that my best my for me.
Speaker 1: I don't know if anybody wants advice for me, but
Speaker 1: for me, my best advice is it's just you. You know.
Speaker 1: But if you think yourself, if you're eventually you is
Speaker 1: gonna come at you're the best version of yourself if
Speaker 1: you feel it's the reason why people lie about who
Speaker 1: they are is because they're not really comfortable with who
Speaker 1: they are in the first place. And so if they
Speaker 1: feel that they need to perpetrate as somebody else because
Speaker 1: they're not really comfortable. So when you are the best
Speaker 1: version of yourself, then you can be you because you're
Speaker 1: comfortable with it. So one of the that says, whatever's broke,
Speaker 1: fix it. Whatever you're uncomfortable about, fix that first, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not saying you can't date, but even
Speaker 1: if you're in the process of fixing it, if it's
Speaker 1: your weight, if it's your education, if it's your job,
Speaker 1: fix it. Because that's uncomfortable. That will seep into your
Speaker 1: into your brain while you're with somebody else and not uncomfidable.
Speaker 1: That lack of confidence will cause you to lie and
Speaker 1: misrepresent who you are. And I also cause you to
Speaker 1: put up with ship that you wouldn't normally put fix
Speaker 1: Fix it Baby, Thank you so podcast and you can
Speaker 1: also follow him Dante Narrow Back