Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
Speaker 1: tip is that if you are prone to sweeping negative
Speaker 1: self talk, as in I'm incompetent, I'm a failure, try
Speaker 1: substituting the word banana for those weighted words and see
Speaker 1: what happens. While this might sound ridiculous, you just might
Speaker 1: be surprised at the outcome. Today's tip comes from Maura
Speaker 1: Aaronsmela's new book, The Anxious Achiever, Turn your Biggest Fears
Speaker 1: into your leadership Superpower. Many people suffer from some form
Speaker 1: of anxiety, and some of those folks are going to
Speaker 1: wind up in leadership roles. Mora asserts that it is
Speaker 1: possible to manage anxiety and leadership and turn the care
Speaker 1: and concern that are sometimes at the root of anxiety
Speaker 1: into good things for your team while climbing through the
Speaker 1: ranks of anything. Feedback is inevitable, Indeed, it's critical. None
Speaker 1: of us is born perfect and we all need to improve. Nonetheless,
Speaker 1: negative feedback can be hard to hear. As Mara puts it,
Speaker 1: we make mistakes, don't hit sales goals, fall short of targets,
Speaker 1: misread and mismanaged situations. That's just life. It happens when
Speaker 1: anxiety is in the picture. Feedback can trigger such intense
Speaker 1: imposter feelings that, as Mora says, we just want to
Speaker 1: go hide. People start making sweeping self talk statements like
Speaker 1: I'm incompetent, or I'm a terrible leader, or no one
Speaker 1: wants to work for me, and so forth. But it
Speaker 1: is possible to diffuse these negative feelings and get some
Speaker 1: distance from them. Negative self talk relies on powerful words
Speaker 1: that are designed to make you feel terrible. But words
Speaker 1: are just words. Mora quotes doctor Russ Harris, one of
Speaker 1: the world's foremost experts on acceptance and commitment therapy, as
Speaker 1: saying that earlier in his life, his own impostor syndrome
Speaker 1: would show up any time he made a trivial mistake,
Speaker 1: and he would berate himself with the words I'm incompetent.
Speaker 1: As a doctor, this was problematic to think, as it
Speaker 1: interfered with helping solve people's health problems. Nothing worked, Moris
Speaker 1: says until Harris learned to detach from his thoughts. He
Speaker 1: realized that the I'm incompetent story was a mental reaction
Speaker 1: that showed up automatically, and it was no different from
Speaker 1: the thousands of other thoughts passing through his mind every day.
Speaker 1: So he came up with this idea. He would identify
Speaker 1: the negative thought that hooked him repeatedly. You can do
Speaker 1: this too. Whatever your equivalent of I'm incompetent happens to be,
Speaker 1: then substitute the word banana. So I'm a failure becomes
Speaker 1: I'm a banana, I'm incompetent becomes I'm a banana. You
Speaker 1: get the picture. Does this make you feel silly? Well? Absolutely,
Speaker 1: But as Mara notes, I'm a banana is about as
Speaker 1: truthful as I'm incompetent. You have, no doubt demonstrated your
Speaker 1: competence on all sorts of things through life, and as
Speaker 1: your mind immediately springs to note that no, you are
Speaker 1: not a banana, perhaps that thought process can help surface
Speaker 1: evidence that you aren't incompetent either. Does imposter syndromes start
Speaker 1: to lose its sting after the hundredth time you've replaced
Speaker 1: I'm incompetent with I'm a banana? Perhaps I'll note here
Speaker 1: that none of this means that people can't genuinely seek
Speaker 1: to improve on various dimensions. Critical feedback serves a purpose,
Speaker 1: but there is a huge difference between noting that my
Speaker 1: team members largely express that they want me to run
Speaker 1: tighter meetings, and here are some strategies I can try
Speaker 1: with thinking I'm incompetent. So if you find yourself repeatedly
Speaker 1: berating yourself with broad negative statements, try the banana trick
Speaker 1: and see what happens. You might just be able to
Speaker 1: end a negative spiral and find practical ways to move forward.
Speaker 1: In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and
Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Hey everybody,
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod.
Speaker 1: That's b E the number four then Breakfast pod. You
Speaker 1: can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast Podcasts
Speaker 1: at iHeartMedia dot com. That Before Breakfast is spelled out
Speaker 1: with all the letters. Thanks so much, should I look
Speaker 1: forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production
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