1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:21,795 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. In 2 00:00:21,835 --> 00:00:24,755 Speaker 1: the wake of the Hamas attack in Israel, the question 3 00:00:24,915 --> 00:00:29,715 Speaker 1: is everywhere, how did the fabled Israeli intelligence services not know? 4 00:00:30,715 --> 00:00:33,195 Speaker 1: And that in turn has produced the other handwringing nightmare. 5 00:00:33,235 --> 00:00:35,595 Speaker 1: How often in the last half century have the world's 6 00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:39,755 Speaker 1: best intelligence services not seen the horror coming? And, of course, 7 00:00:39,795 --> 00:00:44,675 Speaker 1: the answer is disturbingly simple to both questions. They did 8 00:00:44,715 --> 00:00:49,155 Speaker 1: see it coming. Israeli intelligence did see it coming. The 9 00:00:49,235 --> 00:00:54,235 Speaker 1: Russians did see Ukrainian resistance coming. US intelligence did see 10 00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:57,035 Speaker 1: nine to eleven coming, did see Pearl Harbor coming, The 11 00:00:57,075 --> 00:01:00,595 Speaker 1: British did see Hitler's assault on Europe coming. And each 12 00:01:00,755 --> 00:01:05,435 Speaker 1: time the intelligence services reported what they saw to the 13 00:01:05,515 --> 00:01:09,995 Speaker 1: politicians in charge, in charge either of their own agencies 14 00:01:10,115 --> 00:01:12,395 Speaker 1: or of the government as a whole, and what they 15 00:01:12,475 --> 00:01:17,795 Speaker 1: saw was deemed not to really exist because it did 16 00:01:17,875 --> 00:01:22,755 Speaker 1: not fit with the particular government's agenda. Now, the respected 17 00:01:22,835 --> 00:01:26,955 Speaker 1: Israeli newspaper Haaretz reports that Egyptian intelligence vaguely warned the 18 00:01:26,995 --> 00:01:30,275 Speaker 1: Israelis that something big was coming from Middle East terror groups, 19 00:01:30,595 --> 00:01:33,235 Speaker 1: but that the net Yahoo government focused on the West 20 00:01:33,275 --> 00:01:36,795 Speaker 1: Bank and Israeli news network says there was a warning, 21 00:01:37,315 --> 00:01:41,275 Speaker 1: and its Israeli government sources confirmed that, but they say 22 00:01:41,475 --> 00:01:46,715 Speaker 1: something big was hardly actionable information. The Associated Press had 23 00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:50,395 Speaker 1: the quote first from an unnamed source yesterday morning. Why 24 00:01:50,475 --> 00:01:53,755 Speaker 1: net News names the Egyptian officer, the head of intelligence 25 00:01:53,795 --> 00:01:57,235 Speaker 1: Abbas Kamel, quotes him as saying he warned Netnah, who 26 00:01:57,275 --> 00:02:02,555 Speaker 1: personally by phone quotes something unusual, A terrible operation was 27 00:02:02,595 --> 00:02:05,555 Speaker 1: about to unfold. Puts a date on this call ten 28 00:02:05,675 --> 00:02:10,675 Speaker 1: days before the attack. The Washington Posts stitched it all together. Quote. 29 00:02:11,075 --> 00:02:14,835 Speaker 1: The Israeli defense forces issued rare public statements in recent 30 00:02:14,875 --> 00:02:20,035 Speaker 1: months warning that military deterrence was deteriorating. Netanyahu and radical 31 00:02:20,075 --> 00:02:23,515 Speaker 1: members of his cabinet derided the officials as part of 32 00:02:23,555 --> 00:02:28,875 Speaker 1: the protest movement and the protesters as quote anarchists, asserting 33 00:02:28,875 --> 00:02:32,955 Speaker 1: that the status quote the Palestinians would hold unquote. Reuter's 34 00:02:33,075 --> 00:02:37,555 Speaker 1: adds that when Israel heard about new security problems, it 35 00:02:37,715 --> 00:02:45,755 Speaker 1: redeployed troops from Gaza to the West Bank. How vague 36 00:02:45,795 --> 00:02:48,955 Speaker 1: the Egyptian warning really was, How much like you only 37 00:02:48,995 --> 00:02:52,315 Speaker 1: telling your doctor I don't feel well and supplying no 38 00:02:52,395 --> 00:02:55,795 Speaker 1: other details and asking him to diagnose you anyway. That 39 00:02:55,915 --> 00:02:58,635 Speaker 1: remains to be seen, but in some respects it is 40 00:02:58,675 --> 00:03:03,155 Speaker 1: almost irrelevant. The net Henahu government saw everything from an 41 00:03:03,275 --> 00:03:09,835 Speaker 1: unmoving and through an unshakable prism. Gaza was stable, at worst, 42 00:03:09,875 --> 00:03:12,915 Speaker 1: a stalemate. The West Bank was the focus. In fact, 43 00:03:12,915 --> 00:03:16,315 Speaker 1: it was the focus of the hatred that has fueled 44 00:03:16,395 --> 00:03:20,475 Speaker 1: Netanyahu's government and kept it in power despite unprecedented protest 45 00:03:20,595 --> 00:03:24,555 Speaker 1: by an increasingly suppressed majority in that nation. The West 46 00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:28,595 Speaker 1: Bank was where Israeli's brutalized the non Israeli population and 47 00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:31,955 Speaker 1: where the self fulfilling prophecy had to be fed. The 48 00:03:32,075 --> 00:03:35,435 Speaker 1: danger was there, so the brutality had to be there, 49 00:03:35,475 --> 00:03:37,835 Speaker 1: so the only increasing danger could be there, so the 50 00:03:37,875 --> 00:03:40,395 Speaker 1: increasing attention had to be focused there. So if there 51 00:03:40,515 --> 00:03:45,355 Speaker 1: was something big, or something unusual, or military deterrence was deteriorating, 52 00:03:45,435 --> 00:03:50,075 Speaker 1: it had to be there and not Gaza. This is 53 00:03:50,115 --> 00:03:53,755 Speaker 1: not to defend Hamas nor to present the residence of 54 00:03:53,795 --> 00:03:57,555 Speaker 1: the West Bank as martyrs. This is about what my 55 00:03:57,675 --> 00:04:02,035 Speaker 1: old friend George Carlin correctly identified as the oxymoron of 56 00:04:02,235 --> 00:04:07,635 Speaker 1: military intelligence, and it is as old as military or 57 00:04:07,635 --> 00:04:11,675 Speaker 1: at least national intelligence itself. What should be the first 58 00:04:11,795 --> 00:04:15,155 Speaker 1: rule of intelligence always turns out to in fact be 59 00:04:15,235 --> 00:04:19,995 Speaker 1: the first thing those interpreting it forget. You are seeing 60 00:04:20,075 --> 00:04:24,995 Speaker 1: the horizon as if in an overnight electrical storm, for 61 00:04:25,115 --> 00:04:30,755 Speaker 1: one split second, lightning illuminates everything blindingly, and then you 62 00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:35,715 Speaker 1: are immediately plunged back into darkness. But that word blindingly 63 00:04:36,035 --> 00:04:40,755 Speaker 1: is overwhelmingly and sometimes painfully precise. What you are seeing 64 00:04:40,875 --> 00:04:46,035 Speaker 1: can inform you, or it can blind you. You cannot 65 00:04:46,075 --> 00:04:54,595 Speaker 1: superimpose your assumptions, your conclusions, your aspirations, even your previous information, 66 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,515 Speaker 1: on top of what you see. You have enough to 67 00:04:57,635 --> 00:05:00,835 Speaker 1: do as it is just to analyze what is seen 68 00:05:00,955 --> 00:05:06,795 Speaker 1: so briefly and in such a distorting light. Thus, if 69 00:05:06,795 --> 00:05:09,955 Speaker 1: the director of the Egyptian General Intelligence director it warns 70 00:05:09,995 --> 00:05:12,675 Speaker 1: you of a terrible operation, you cannot take what he 71 00:05:12,755 --> 00:05:16,955 Speaker 1: says and attached to it the West Bank. Just as 72 00:05:16,995 --> 00:05:19,795 Speaker 1: if your intelligence agencies and those of your cousins tell 73 00:05:19,795 --> 00:05:22,875 Speaker 1: you of al Qaeda chatter, you cannot then take what 74 00:05:22,915 --> 00:05:25,395 Speaker 1: they say and attach your presumption that there are more 75 00:05:25,435 --> 00:05:28,915 Speaker 1: overseas targets because that's what they did last time, or 76 00:05:28,955 --> 00:05:31,875 Speaker 1: attach that the intelligence must be wrong, because who would 77 00:05:31,955 --> 00:05:34,755 Speaker 1: learn only to fly a plane, not how to take 78 00:05:34,795 --> 00:05:37,995 Speaker 1: off or land it, or attach that sure bin laden 79 00:05:38,075 --> 00:05:39,995 Speaker 1: is determined to attack in US. But so what so 80 00:05:40,075 --> 00:05:42,155 Speaker 1: are a lot of people or attach that the real 81 00:05:42,235 --> 00:05:45,595 Speaker 1: force behind the threat has to be Iraq, because that's 82 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:48,275 Speaker 1: what your administration entered the White House itching to fight. 83 00:05:49,555 --> 00:05:53,555 Speaker 1: If you're about to invade Ukraine and your military leadership 84 00:05:53,595 --> 00:05:56,155 Speaker 1: tells you you will win in forty eight hours, or 85 00:05:56,275 --> 00:05:58,595 Speaker 1: you tell your military leadership you will win in forty 86 00:05:58,635 --> 00:06:01,995 Speaker 1: eight hours, but your intelligence forces tell you the Ukrainians 87 00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:04,595 Speaker 1: will fight to the last man, you cannot just ignore them. 88 00:06:05,715 --> 00:06:08,115 Speaker 1: If you have made a deal with Hitler at Munich 89 00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:12,195 Speaker 1: to give him Czechoslovakia, and yet your least favorite member 90 00:06:12,195 --> 00:06:15,555 Speaker 1: of your own political party keeps leaking intelligence that Hitler 91 00:06:15,595 --> 00:06:18,675 Speaker 1: is doubling and tripling and quadrupling his aircraft fleet, that 92 00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:21,435 Speaker 1: his munitions and his men in arms, you cannot assume 93 00:06:21,475 --> 00:06:24,235 Speaker 1: that Hitler is the man of his word and your 94 00:06:24,275 --> 00:06:28,235 Speaker 1: hated rival is a madman just because you said you 95 00:06:28,275 --> 00:06:32,635 Speaker 1: had obtained from Hitler peace for our time. And if 96 00:06:32,635 --> 00:06:34,915 Speaker 1: you have decided that the assistant chief of the Air 97 00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:37,315 Speaker 1: Service is trying to force you to buy more of 98 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:41,635 Speaker 1: these useless aeroplanes, and he returns from Asia and writes 99 00:06:41,675 --> 00:06:44,115 Speaker 1: a three hundred and twenty four page report in nineteen 100 00:06:44,155 --> 00:06:47,675 Speaker 1: twenty four predicting that the Japanese will someday declare war 101 00:06:47,795 --> 00:06:51,675 Speaker 1: on your country and conduct a sneak attack on Hawaii 102 00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:55,475 Speaker 1: by air. You cannot demote him and court martial him 103 00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:59,355 Speaker 1: and state since he so notoriously overestimates what could be 104 00:06:59,355 --> 00:07:02,075 Speaker 1: done with airpower by the United States, it is not 105 00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:05,675 Speaker 1: improbable that he is likewise overestimated way what Japan could do. 106 00:07:08,755 --> 00:07:14,315 Speaker 1: This is not very sophisticated analysis. Then again, the failures 107 00:07:14,795 --> 00:07:18,275 Speaker 1: failures of ego, failures of lack of imagination, failures in 108 00:07:18,315 --> 00:07:20,835 Speaker 1: which you are more concerned with hiding the fact that 109 00:07:20,995 --> 00:07:25,635 Speaker 1: your first conclusion was wrong when only your second conclusion 110 00:07:25,635 --> 00:07:32,075 Speaker 1: actually matters. These failures are pretty unsophisticated as well. These failures, 111 00:07:32,195 --> 00:07:35,675 Speaker 1: the newest of which is Gaza, and for which at 112 00:07:35,795 --> 00:07:38,155 Speaker 1: least a thousand Israelis have paid for their lives in 113 00:07:38,235 --> 00:07:41,755 Speaker 1: what was the equivalent of three or four nine to elevens. 114 00:07:43,315 --> 00:07:48,195 Speaker 1: They are the common failures of confirmation bias and hubris 115 00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:52,315 Speaker 1: and narrow mindedness, and that always suicidal belief that you 116 00:07:52,515 --> 00:07:59,475 Speaker 1: not only know everything, but nobody else knows anything. That 117 00:07:59,675 --> 00:08:04,475 Speaker 1: Yahoo was warned by his own intelligence by Egyptian intelligence. 118 00:08:04,795 --> 00:08:07,035 Speaker 1: Haaretz reported last night that so far there had been 119 00:08:07,075 --> 00:08:11,035 Speaker 1: only one denial about that from the Israeli government, Netanyahu's own. 120 00:08:12,315 --> 00:08:15,075 Speaker 1: Everyone else was saying it was too early to ask 121 00:08:15,115 --> 00:08:18,155 Speaker 1: about those failures, that now is the time for retaliation 122 00:08:18,315 --> 00:08:22,955 Speaker 1: and defense and unity. And I hate to again quote comedy, 123 00:08:23,755 --> 00:08:25,475 Speaker 1: but as they put it in Monty, Python and the 124 00:08:25,475 --> 00:08:30,155 Speaker 1: Holy Grail, let's not bicker and argue about who killed who. 125 00:08:32,275 --> 00:08:35,395 Speaker 1: The good news in the context of the Gaza strip, 126 00:08:35,995 --> 00:08:40,075 Speaker 1: wrote the right wing newspaper Israeli Higham last month, is 127 00:08:40,115 --> 00:08:44,755 Speaker 1: that neither Israel normas want to see hostilities escalate, each 128 00:08:45,315 --> 00:08:51,675 Speaker 1: for its own reasons. Unquote. Of course that was true. 129 00:08:51,835 --> 00:09:01,795 Speaker 1: It had to be true, didn't it. Here let's rephrase 130 00:09:01,835 --> 00:09:05,115 Speaker 1: the assessment of Senators Tommy Tuberville of Alabama and Paul 131 00:09:05,155 --> 00:09:07,675 Speaker 1: of Kentucky. Tubberville is not holding up promotions in the 132 00:09:07,675 --> 00:09:12,715 Speaker 1: military over abortion. Paul is not holding ambassadorial appointments in 133 00:09:12,755 --> 00:09:16,355 Speaker 1: the Middle East over his COVID delusions. Tubberville and Paul 134 00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:18,675 Speaker 1: could not have contributed more to the chaos in the 135 00:09:18,715 --> 00:09:21,155 Speaker 1: Middle East and the death there if they had actually 136 00:09:21,195 --> 00:09:26,035 Speaker 1: been working for Hamas change the Senate rules blow up 137 00:09:26,035 --> 00:09:30,035 Speaker 1: the filibuster, deny these clowns the opportunity to again cancel 138 00:09:30,115 --> 00:09:35,955 Speaker 1: the American military over there performative acts. By the way, 139 00:09:35,955 --> 00:09:39,035 Speaker 1: while we're at it, do something about Tuberville's ears. I 140 00:09:39,075 --> 00:09:41,555 Speaker 1: cannot stop thinking about the late Pee Wee Herman every 141 00:09:41,555 --> 00:09:45,075 Speaker 1: time I see him. It is comforting to see Trump 142 00:09:45,155 --> 00:09:51,795 Speaker 1: publicly identifying the true villains here Forbes magazine. He was 143 00:09:51,875 --> 00:09:56,035 Speaker 1: obsessed yesterday, says Forbes took it off its Forbes four 144 00:09:56,115 --> 00:09:58,995 Speaker 1: hundred list. He's no longer on the Forbes four hundred, 145 00:09:58,995 --> 00:10:01,715 Speaker 1: which is fake anyway, and it's an antique, he calls it. 146 00:10:01,755 --> 00:10:05,595 Speaker 1: And anyway, they're part of the conspiracy against him quote. 147 00:10:05,675 --> 00:10:08,955 Speaker 1: They are working with the racist and highly incompetent Attorney 148 00:10:09,035 --> 00:10:12,075 Speaker 1: General of New York and dementia j Trump really did 149 00:10:12,635 --> 00:10:18,315 Speaker 1: attack Forbes magazine twice yesterday as the Middle East continued 150 00:10:18,355 --> 00:10:23,315 Speaker 1: to unfold, and he attacked Letitia James three times. And 151 00:10:23,435 --> 00:10:26,155 Speaker 1: it may finally be that he is spiraling out of 152 00:10:26,195 --> 00:10:31,715 Speaker 1: all control mentally and emotionally. Not that that's a long trip, 153 00:10:32,235 --> 00:10:35,675 Speaker 1: and even his appointed judge in Florida, Aileen Cannon, is 154 00:10:35,675 --> 00:10:37,555 Speaker 1: going to have a hard time doing what he wants 155 00:10:37,795 --> 00:10:40,835 Speaker 1: in the classified documents case. You will recall his attorney's 156 00:10:40,835 --> 00:10:44,835 Speaker 1: move last week to postpone the trial there until after 157 00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:47,275 Speaker 1: the election because they won't be able to study the 158 00:10:47,315 --> 00:10:50,755 Speaker 1: classified information in a secure location in time for trial 159 00:10:50,835 --> 00:10:54,955 Speaker 1: next May. And yesterday Jack Smith reminded the judge in 160 00:10:54,995 --> 00:10:57,675 Speaker 1: a filing that this is the second time Trump has 161 00:10:57,755 --> 00:11:01,595 Speaker 1: filed this exact motion, and a she already ruled against 162 00:11:01,635 --> 00:11:04,675 Speaker 1: him the first time. And b the case against Trump 163 00:11:04,875 --> 00:11:07,675 Speaker 1: is not about the classified documents and info. It's about 164 00:11:07,675 --> 00:11:12,235 Speaker 1: the non classified documents and info. And see the classified 165 00:11:12,275 --> 00:11:15,075 Speaker 1: documents and info quote a small fraction of the discovery 166 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:18,195 Speaker 1: that is among the most highly classified material that will 167 00:11:18,195 --> 00:11:21,995 Speaker 1: all be cleared to view in a regular, old run 168 00:11:21,995 --> 00:11:25,715 Speaker 1: of the mill location, and that the government quote expects 169 00:11:25,755 --> 00:11:28,675 Speaker 1: even those materials to be available for review and discussion 170 00:11:28,715 --> 00:11:36,315 Speaker 1: by cleared Council this week. As we get inside the 171 00:11:36,395 --> 00:11:39,355 Speaker 1: one week mark to the Tanya Chuckkin hearing on the 172 00:11:39,595 --> 00:11:43,195 Speaker 1: gag order in Washington next Monday, it is possible that 173 00:11:43,275 --> 00:11:47,795 Speaker 1: Trump's behavior will get even stranger. What happens to somebody 174 00:11:47,835 --> 00:11:51,115 Speaker 1: with that much wrong with them when you add in whiplash, 175 00:11:51,555 --> 00:11:55,715 Speaker 1: I do not know after running poor deluded Robert F. 176 00:11:55,795 --> 00:11:58,315 Speaker 1: Kennedy Junior as a trojan horse who was expected to 177 00:11:58,395 --> 00:12:01,515 Speaker 1: hurt Joe Biden in the Democratic primaries or at least 178 00:12:01,675 --> 00:12:06,355 Speaker 1: wind up endorsing Trump. At the end, boom goes the polling. 179 00:12:07,275 --> 00:12:12,915 Speaker 1: RFK Junior is attracting Trump voters and disaffected Republicans, and 180 00:12:12,995 --> 00:12:15,235 Speaker 1: he's just bailed out of the Democratic race, and we'll 181 00:12:15,275 --> 00:12:18,555 Speaker 1: try it as an independent. And suddenly our NC chairwoman 182 00:12:18,755 --> 00:12:22,995 Speaker 1: Ronald McDaniel dismisses him as a Democrat in independence clothing, 183 00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:28,035 Speaker 1: your typical elitist liberal. And the last known Trump spokesman, 184 00:12:28,595 --> 00:12:32,515 Speaker 1: Stephen Chung, has so completely run out of Trump bullshit 185 00:12:32,915 --> 00:12:36,835 Speaker 1: that he could only say quote and RFK candidacy is 186 00:12:36,875 --> 00:12:42,275 Speaker 1: nothing more than a vanity project, which is true, not 187 00:12:42,315 --> 00:12:44,635 Speaker 1: only true, but that was the reason Trump selected him 188 00:12:44,635 --> 00:12:47,795 Speaker 1: to do this. And one is left with the specter 189 00:12:47,915 --> 00:12:51,155 Speaker 1: of Frankenstein's lab assistants trying to poke the monster with 190 00:12:51,235 --> 00:12:53,995 Speaker 1: fire while trying to blame each other for getting them 191 00:12:53,995 --> 00:13:01,515 Speaker 1: that brain marked Abbey normal. And lastly, domestically, didn't somebody 192 00:13:01,675 --> 00:13:05,715 Speaker 1: tell you last week not to believe that assumption that 193 00:13:05,795 --> 00:13:10,835 Speaker 1: won Kevin Owen McCarthy was not a candidate to become 194 00:13:11,035 --> 00:13:15,715 Speaker 1: the next Speaker of the House of Representatives. Even before Gaza. 195 00:13:16,035 --> 00:13:21,115 Speaker 1: The obviousness of his own Frankensteinian revivification attempt came when 196 00:13:21,115 --> 00:13:23,435 Speaker 1: it was universally reported he was going to resign from 197 00:13:23,475 --> 00:13:26,595 Speaker 1: the House like all terrible Republican ex speakers have done 198 00:13:26,875 --> 00:13:31,115 Speaker 1: since time immemorial, and then he very emphatically said he 199 00:13:31,155 --> 00:13:36,515 Speaker 1: ain't going nowhere. Since Gaza, he held a Monday morning 200 00:13:36,555 --> 00:13:39,235 Speaker 1: press briefing just as he would have if he had 201 00:13:39,275 --> 00:13:43,435 Speaker 1: still been speaker. Asked if under the different world circumstances 202 00:13:43,435 --> 00:13:45,835 Speaker 1: he would now run again for the office, he refused 203 00:13:45,835 --> 00:13:51,915 Speaker 1: to answer that friend is a yes, since Gaza Republicans 204 00:13:51,955 --> 00:13:54,155 Speaker 1: who stabbed him in the back have an excuse to 205 00:13:54,195 --> 00:13:57,195 Speaker 1: pull out their knives and say, oops, the car lurched. 206 00:13:58,035 --> 00:14:03,875 Speaker 1: Congressman Darryl Carr alarm Isa has endorsed Jim Jordan, who would, 207 00:14:03,915 --> 00:14:06,795 Speaker 1: of course uphold the Republican tradition of speakers connected to 208 00:14:06,835 --> 00:14:10,915 Speaker 1: the rape of scholastic wrestlers. But last night Isa said 209 00:14:11,155 --> 00:14:14,635 Speaker 1: if McCarthy tries to regain the speakership, he will support 210 00:14:14,715 --> 00:14:16,915 Speaker 1: him and quote I would vote for him, and I 211 00:14:16,955 --> 00:14:20,995 Speaker 1: believe that Jim Jordan would vote for him, and the 212 00:14:21,115 --> 00:14:28,675 Speaker 1: tell Of tells Congressman Steve Womack of Arkansas endorsed Steve Scalise, 213 00:14:28,915 --> 00:14:31,195 Speaker 1: and no, it does not have to be for any 214 00:14:31,235 --> 00:14:33,755 Speaker 1: better reason than the fact that they're both named Steve. 215 00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:39,235 Speaker 1: But it's what he said next that clinches this for me. Quote, 216 00:14:39,595 --> 00:14:46,995 Speaker 1: Steve Scalise is our next best option after Kevin McCarthy. 217 00:14:48,155 --> 00:14:51,355 Speaker 1: I don't know how the Republicans gain their own voting 218 00:14:51,395 --> 00:14:55,035 Speaker 1: system or Speaker of the House, but that is all 219 00:14:55,115 --> 00:14:58,955 Speaker 1: that they're good at. They are not convinced Scalise is 220 00:14:58,995 --> 00:15:01,515 Speaker 1: either healthy or tough enough, and even in their caucus, 221 00:15:01,595 --> 00:15:03,955 Speaker 1: Jordan is rightly viewed as an inmate, not a warden. 222 00:15:04,235 --> 00:15:06,235 Speaker 1: I said it last Wednesday, and now I will say 223 00:15:06,235 --> 00:15:09,155 Speaker 1: it louder because the key point in my theoretical is 224 00:15:09,195 --> 00:15:11,835 Speaker 1: no longer just a deal for Ukraine AID. It is 225 00:15:11,875 --> 00:15:16,475 Speaker 1: now a deal for Ukraine and Israel AID. He might 226 00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:19,395 Speaker 1: still get the job back, as I said last Wednesday, 227 00:15:19,675 --> 00:15:22,915 Speaker 1: especially if they actually give a least Stefanik or this 228 00:15:23,075 --> 00:15:26,475 Speaker 1: clown McHenry or another one of these goobers a shot 229 00:15:26,555 --> 00:15:29,395 Speaker 1: at it, and especially if McCarthy really would turn her 230 00:15:29,395 --> 00:15:31,675 Speaker 1: out and make a deal with the Democrats this time 231 00:15:31,875 --> 00:15:38,075 Speaker 1: predicated on aid for Ukraine editor's note, and Israel some 232 00:15:38,315 --> 00:15:41,195 Speaker 1: palatable fix for the problems on the border, and most importantly, 233 00:15:41,275 --> 00:15:44,995 Speaker 1: giving McCarthy the chance to metaphorically attack Matt Gates's privates 234 00:15:45,035 --> 00:15:48,275 Speaker 1: with pruning shears every day through the next election and 235 00:15:48,355 --> 00:15:51,635 Speaker 1: turn him into some kind of congressional sisyphus, only making 236 00:15:51,675 --> 00:16:02,635 Speaker 1: it hurt more. Also of interest here Elon Musk, Ronald McDaniel, 237 00:16:02,955 --> 00:16:08,355 Speaker 1: Martha McCallum, John Roberts of Fox, Nancy Mace, and Governor 238 00:16:09,275 --> 00:16:13,155 Speaker 1: Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan. And what do they have in common? 239 00:16:14,235 --> 00:16:16,995 Speaker 1: The disaster unfolds in Gaza, and not one of them 240 00:16:17,075 --> 00:16:22,315 Speaker 1: knows how not to say something unbelievably stupid about it. 241 00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:29,715 Speaker 1: Each has made it into a supersized edition of worse persons. 242 00:16:30,475 --> 00:16:35,675 Speaker 1: That's next. This is countdown. This is countdown with Keith 243 00:16:35,715 --> 00:16:59,635 Speaker 1: Olberman still ahead on countdown. Ever seen the movie A 244 00:16:59,755 --> 00:17:02,915 Speaker 1: Christmas Story? Have you ever seen it and said, why 245 00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:05,075 Speaker 1: are they doing a movie about the last day of 246 00:17:05,075 --> 00:17:07,675 Speaker 1: the year I spent in the fourth grade. Ever seen 247 00:17:07,715 --> 00:17:09,395 Speaker 1: it and had the real life bully come up to 248 00:17:09,435 --> 00:17:11,315 Speaker 1: you and ask did we have a fight in the 249 00:17:11,355 --> 00:17:14,755 Speaker 1: fourth grade? Things? I promised not to tell. Coming up 250 00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:16,915 Speaker 1: first time for the daily roundup of the mis grants, 251 00:17:16,955 --> 00:17:22,595 Speaker 1: morons and Dunning Krueger effects specimens who constitute today's supersize 252 00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:27,675 Speaker 1: edition of the worst persons in the World. The bronze 253 00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:30,755 Speaker 1: is a tie. John Roberts and Martha McCallum of Fox. 254 00:17:31,195 --> 00:17:35,675 Speaker 1: These are the alleged non commentary straight newspeople, which mean 255 00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:38,915 Speaker 1: they only pore themselves out for the Republican Party just 256 00:17:38,915 --> 00:17:41,555 Speaker 1: a couple times a day, rather than you know, constantly. 257 00:17:42,155 --> 00:17:45,675 Speaker 1: The White House called a lid just before noon yesterday. 258 00:17:45,675 --> 00:17:48,595 Speaker 1: Anybody with an IQ above twenty seven knows that a 259 00:17:48,675 --> 00:17:52,075 Speaker 1: lid means there will be no more news conferences today, 260 00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:54,915 Speaker 1: no more public events by the president, nothing for you 261 00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:59,235 Speaker 1: to cover. A lid before noon means the President will 262 00:17:59,275 --> 00:18:03,755 Speaker 1: be too busy the rest of the day doing President's 263 00:18:03,795 --> 00:18:09,875 Speaker 1: stuff to be interrupted by you know, News or even Fox. 264 00:18:10,675 --> 00:18:12,995 Speaker 1: But of course, anybody with an IQ above twenty seven 265 00:18:13,035 --> 00:18:16,675 Speaker 1: does not watch Fox or work there. So first Roberts 266 00:18:16,715 --> 00:18:19,955 Speaker 1: puts out a tweet, Then McCallum asks a Pentagon spokesman 267 00:18:19,995 --> 00:18:24,475 Speaker 1: in disbelief, why did they call lidd. Roberts's tweet reads 268 00:18:24,555 --> 00:18:27,275 Speaker 1: with war raging in Israel. The White House called the 269 00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:31,355 Speaker 1: lid for Joe Biden at eleven forty six AM. It's skeevie, 270 00:18:31,555 --> 00:18:34,515 Speaker 1: even for Fox, even for John Roberts who used to 271 00:18:34,555 --> 00:18:40,155 Speaker 1: be a VJ and not in this country. Even in Canada, 272 00:18:40,315 --> 00:18:42,875 Speaker 1: no offense. Canada the runners up. It's a tie. But 273 00:18:42,875 --> 00:18:44,395 Speaker 1: if you're going to be a VJ, you're not gonna 274 00:18:44,395 --> 00:18:48,435 Speaker 1: be a VJ in Canada. I can hear Strombolopolis now 275 00:18:48,475 --> 00:18:52,115 Speaker 1: the runners up. It's a tie. One politician from each party, 276 00:18:52,475 --> 00:18:56,755 Speaker 1: Governor Whitmer of Michigan and that idiot Nancy Mace, Congress 277 00:18:56,755 --> 00:19:01,395 Speaker 1: Women from South Carolina. Mace. First, Mace makes a big 278 00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:04,915 Speaker 1: deal out of how bravely and frequently she stands up 279 00:19:04,915 --> 00:19:08,915 Speaker 1: for sexual abuse survivors, like she's going for a franchise 280 00:19:09,075 --> 00:19:13,195 Speaker 1: or something. After torpedoing Kevin McCarthy and pushing for Jim 281 00:19:13,315 --> 00:19:16,475 Speaker 1: Jordan as the new speaker, she was rightly asked, quote 282 00:19:16,875 --> 00:19:21,115 Speaker 1: to the past allegations about Jim Jordan that he turned 283 00:19:21,115 --> 00:19:25,275 Speaker 1: a blind eye to sexual abuse, give you reservation, and 284 00:19:25,355 --> 00:19:29,235 Speaker 1: her answer was, quote, I'm not familiar or aware with that. 285 00:19:29,755 --> 00:19:32,435 Speaker 1: He's not indicted or anything that I'm aware of, so 286 00:19:32,595 --> 00:19:36,115 Speaker 1: I don't know anything. If you don't know anything, how 287 00:19:36,155 --> 00:19:39,075 Speaker 1: do you know he's not indicted. She's then reminded of 288 00:19:39,075 --> 00:19:43,355 Speaker 1: the details the Ohio State University allegations, and Mace comes 289 00:19:43,395 --> 00:19:49,475 Speaker 1: back with the surprisingly honest answer, I don't know anything, unquote. 290 00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:52,555 Speaker 1: She's not just a dope, She's a disingenuous dope. On 291 00:19:52,595 --> 00:19:54,715 Speaker 1: the other hand, I do think we should give her 292 00:19:54,715 --> 00:19:58,475 Speaker 1: credit for actually getting out of bed to do this interview. 293 00:19:58,635 --> 00:20:03,035 Speaker 1: God knows, Nancy Mayce thinks she should get credit every 294 00:20:03,075 --> 00:20:05,755 Speaker 1: time she gets out of bed to do anything but 295 00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:10,195 Speaker 1: bed stuff. And Mace is tied here with Governor Gretchen 296 00:20:10,235 --> 00:20:13,355 Speaker 1: Whitmer of Michigan. I will confess I watched her during 297 00:20:13,355 --> 00:20:15,435 Speaker 1: the run up to the midterms last year, and I thought, 298 00:20:15,595 --> 00:20:18,395 Speaker 1: here is a future leader of the Democratic Party and 299 00:20:18,475 --> 00:20:21,755 Speaker 1: a possibility for national office. And then came the attack 300 00:20:21,795 --> 00:20:24,395 Speaker 1: on Israel, and she tweeted at five point thirty four 301 00:20:24,435 --> 00:20:27,715 Speaker 1: eastern Saturday afternoon. You know how sometimes a politicians statement 302 00:20:28,075 --> 00:20:30,475 Speaker 1: on a tragedy or a disaster or an event seems 303 00:20:30,475 --> 00:20:34,035 Speaker 1: a little generic or a little boiler plate. This is 304 00:20:34,075 --> 00:20:36,115 Speaker 1: not only the worst one I've ever heard. I had 305 00:20:36,155 --> 00:20:39,115 Speaker 1: to check it like four times to really believe they 306 00:20:39,235 --> 00:20:43,435 Speaker 1: sent this out quote. I have been in touch with 307 00:20:43,515 --> 00:20:49,195 Speaker 1: communities impacted by what's happening in the region. It is abhorrent. 308 00:20:49,795 --> 00:20:53,795 Speaker 1: My heart is with all those impacted. We need peace 309 00:20:54,315 --> 00:21:02,115 Speaker 1: in this region. Unquote seriously in touch with communities impacted 310 00:21:02,115 --> 00:21:05,595 Speaker 1: by what's happening in the region. My heart is with 311 00:21:05,635 --> 00:21:10,515 Speaker 1: all those impacted. We need peace in this region. What 312 00:21:10,715 --> 00:21:14,235 Speaker 1: happened where I mean that could be about Hamas and 313 00:21:14,475 --> 00:21:21,115 Speaker 1: Israel or fistfights erupting in whatever NCAA basketball regional The 314 00:21:21,235 --> 00:21:25,595 Speaker 1: University of Michigan has been assigned to pathetic or let 315 00:21:25,675 --> 00:21:29,115 Speaker 1: me rephrase that phrase pathetic. I have assessed the communication 316 00:21:29,235 --> 00:21:32,155 Speaker 1: involved and believed it inappropriate, and out of an abundance 317 00:21:32,195 --> 00:21:37,235 Speaker 1: of caution, I urge the relevant politician to reconsider consultant 318 00:21:37,315 --> 00:21:41,995 Speaker 1: contemplate prices higher west of the Rockies. Your mileage may vary, 319 00:21:43,475 --> 00:21:47,675 Speaker 1: but our winners, Oh, it's a tie. Elon Musk and 320 00:21:47,795 --> 00:21:51,275 Speaker 1: Ronald McDaniel. There are some people who should stick to 321 00:21:51,355 --> 00:21:55,235 Speaker 1: generic boiler plate. Musk is one of them. Instead. On Saturday, 322 00:21:55,275 --> 00:21:58,915 Speaker 1: he wrote for following the war in real time at 323 00:21:59,075 --> 00:22:03,635 Speaker 1: War Monitors and at Scent Defender are good. Half of 324 00:22:03,675 --> 00:22:07,235 Speaker 1: the replies included screenshots of a survey on who the 325 00:22:07,275 --> 00:22:09,875 Speaker 1: Iranian people would pick to lead their country if you 326 00:22:09,915 --> 00:22:12,355 Speaker 1: know they had elections there, to which that one that 327 00:22:12,435 --> 00:22:16,395 Speaker 1: he recommended at War Monitors, the at War Monitors account 328 00:22:16,395 --> 00:22:21,795 Speaker 1: had replied, quote mind your own business jew unquote, and 329 00:22:21,875 --> 00:22:24,315 Speaker 1: another in which the same account posted a meme about 330 00:22:24,395 --> 00:22:28,755 Speaker 1: Sarah Silverman joking about killing Jesus, and the at War 331 00:22:28,875 --> 00:22:34,835 Speaker 1: Monitors account added quote least hypocritical jew unquote. But at 332 00:22:34,875 --> 00:22:37,715 Speaker 1: War Monitors pays Elon eight dollars a month, so they 333 00:22:37,755 --> 00:22:41,235 Speaker 1: must be good. And of course there's Rona Romney McDaniel 334 00:22:41,515 --> 00:22:45,035 Speaker 1: still somehow chairwoman of the Republican National Committee. I'm assuming 335 00:22:45,035 --> 00:22:48,475 Speaker 1: this could only be because Musk doesn't want the job. 336 00:22:49,435 --> 00:22:52,555 Speaker 1: Smoked in the midterms in twenty eighteen, on her second year, 337 00:22:53,115 --> 00:22:56,075 Speaker 1: she then spent money to defend Trump's conspiracy with Russia. 338 00:22:56,755 --> 00:22:59,595 Speaker 1: She lost. In twenty twenty, she was smoked in the midterms. 339 00:22:59,635 --> 00:23:02,875 Speaker 1: In twenty twenty two, her leading presidential candidate is now 340 00:23:02,955 --> 00:23:07,195 Speaker 1: facing ninety one criminal counts. She's killing it. And of course, 341 00:23:07,235 --> 00:23:10,075 Speaker 1: her comments on breaking news burnish the reputation of the 342 00:23:10,115 --> 00:23:13,795 Speaker 1: Republican Party on a daily basis. For instance, on Saturday, 343 00:23:13,875 --> 00:23:16,915 Speaker 1: she got on Fox and in that lovely demiated symptom 344 00:23:16,995 --> 00:23:20,435 Speaker 1: Charlie Brown's pain chain minds she mind buying any Attact 345 00:23:20,515 --> 00:23:24,035 Speaker 1: nine isreal and added quote, I think this is a 346 00:23:24,155 --> 00:23:27,955 Speaker 1: great opportunity for our candidates, and I think Rhana, you 347 00:23:27,995 --> 00:23:31,475 Speaker 1: should go to hell. But not before saying repeat after me. 348 00:23:32,355 --> 00:23:34,635 Speaker 1: I have been in touch with communities impacted by what's 349 00:23:34,635 --> 00:23:37,395 Speaker 1: happening in the region. It is abhorrent. My heart is 350 00:23:37,435 --> 00:23:40,235 Speaker 1: with all those impacted. We need peace in this region. 351 00:23:40,715 --> 00:23:45,435 Speaker 1: And recording Rana, she's there to make Uncle Mit look 352 00:23:45,555 --> 00:23:50,235 Speaker 1: like Winston Churchill, Romney McDaniel and Elon Oh. I forgot 353 00:23:50,275 --> 00:23:53,235 Speaker 1: not to recommend my go to anti Semitic accounts to 354 00:23:53,275 --> 00:23:59,515 Speaker 1: the public Musk two days Worse Persons and the world 355 00:24:00,595 --> 00:24:15,835 Speaker 1: region account to the number one story on the Countdown 356 00:24:15,915 --> 00:24:18,515 Speaker 1: and my favorite subject, me and things I promised not 357 00:24:18,635 --> 00:24:22,395 Speaker 1: to tell as a preface. Let me just be clear 358 00:24:22,435 --> 00:24:25,795 Speaker 1: about this. I was never a bully as a kid. 359 00:24:26,195 --> 00:24:28,835 Speaker 1: I mentioned this in the context of this question. Have 360 00:24:28,915 --> 00:24:31,635 Speaker 1: you ever watched a movie and there's a scene in 361 00:24:31,675 --> 00:24:35,195 Speaker 1: it and you go all pale because it really happened 362 00:24:35,195 --> 00:24:38,715 Speaker 1: to you. Have you seen a Christmas story the movie 363 00:24:38,755 --> 00:24:41,995 Speaker 1: TBS runs all day every Christmas. Little Ralphie and the 364 00:24:42,355 --> 00:24:45,115 Speaker 1: Red Writer bb Gun and You'll shoot your eye out. 365 00:24:45,635 --> 00:24:48,395 Speaker 1: The scene where Ralphie completely loses it and takes down 366 00:24:48,435 --> 00:24:51,995 Speaker 1: the bully and bloodies him, swearing a blue streak. Yeah, 367 00:24:52,035 --> 00:24:55,275 Speaker 1: that was me. When I was a kid in Hastings 368 00:24:55,275 --> 00:25:00,395 Speaker 1: on Hudson, New York, I was considered above average in intelligence. Clearly, 369 00:25:01,195 --> 00:25:05,195 Speaker 1: I have disproved this nearly every day of my adult life, 370 00:25:05,515 --> 00:25:09,275 Speaker 1: but they didn't know that then. The main results of 371 00:25:09,315 --> 00:25:11,835 Speaker 1: this assessment were I was moved into a class with 372 00:25:11,995 --> 00:25:14,795 Speaker 1: kids a year older than me, sometimes two years, and 373 00:25:14,875 --> 00:25:17,555 Speaker 1: I was still bigger than they were, and I had 374 00:25:17,595 --> 00:25:20,875 Speaker 1: no patience. If I was talking and they were not 375 00:25:20,915 --> 00:25:25,835 Speaker 1: paying attention, I got shovy, you know like today. Like 376 00:25:25,875 --> 00:25:27,795 Speaker 1: I said, I was never a bully. I just had 377 00:25:27,835 --> 00:25:31,315 Speaker 1: a bugs bunny concept of violence. So my folks had 378 00:25:31,315 --> 00:25:33,555 Speaker 1: me talk to a psychologist, and I quickly caught on 379 00:25:33,995 --> 00:25:36,395 Speaker 1: and I stopped shoving or hitting or pushing or anything. 380 00:25:36,635 --> 00:25:39,835 Speaker 1: In fact, the advice was too good. The doctor turned 381 00:25:39,835 --> 00:25:43,515 Speaker 1: me into a little New Yorker Gandhi. When the day 382 00:25:43,555 --> 00:25:46,195 Speaker 1: came in the fourth grade, as it does for all kids, 383 00:25:46,195 --> 00:25:51,675 Speaker 1: at some point that somebody else shoved me. I did nothing. 384 00:25:52,315 --> 00:25:54,435 Speaker 1: I had been taught by the doctor, no shoving, Keith. 385 00:25:55,235 --> 00:25:58,715 Speaker 1: This quickly deteriorated into the inevitable situation in which I 386 00:25:58,875 --> 00:26:02,875 Speaker 1: got bullied. This went on for most of a school year, 387 00:26:03,435 --> 00:26:05,515 Speaker 1: and no matter what my folks said, no matter how 388 00:26:05,515 --> 00:26:08,995 Speaker 1: frustrated I got, I would not hit back. But this 389 00:26:09,235 --> 00:26:11,715 Speaker 1: was also the same year that I became a baseball 390 00:26:11,755 --> 00:26:14,915 Speaker 1: fan and a baseball card collector. And as the fourth 391 00:26:14,995 --> 00:26:18,275 Speaker 1: grade ended, literally the next to last day of class, 392 00:26:18,315 --> 00:26:22,955 Speaker 1: some kid sold me his entire baseball card collection, maybe 393 00:26:22,995 --> 00:26:26,675 Speaker 1: a thousand cards. Maybe it cost me two dollars. They 394 00:26:26,675 --> 00:26:29,395 Speaker 1: were in a big paper shopping bag, and after a 395 00:26:29,395 --> 00:26:31,755 Speaker 1: trip to the bathroom, I returned to my desk to 396 00:26:31,835 --> 00:26:36,635 Speaker 1: discover that the bag had been stolen. As this penultimate 397 00:26:36,675 --> 00:26:38,515 Speaker 1: school day ended, and we all filed out of the 398 00:26:38,515 --> 00:26:41,235 Speaker 1: classroom down several flights of stairs to the building exit, 399 00:26:41,235 --> 00:26:46,795 Speaker 1: which opened onto the flat, beautiful Tarmacadam Playground, my main antagonist, 400 00:26:47,155 --> 00:26:51,675 Speaker 1: the lead bully, the scut Farcas of my fourth grade, 401 00:26:52,235 --> 00:26:56,395 Speaker 1: shouted up from maybe six or seven steps below me 402 00:26:56,475 --> 00:26:59,235 Speaker 1: on the stairs. Hey, Keith, what do you think of 403 00:26:59,235 --> 00:27:03,395 Speaker 1: my baseball card collection? He then held the bag of 404 00:27:03,395 --> 00:27:11,595 Speaker 1: my cards aloft. Suddenly, my own rage and my opportunity 405 00:27:12,315 --> 00:27:16,955 Speaker 1: merged into one shining moment. The bully was now on 406 00:27:16,995 --> 00:27:20,035 Speaker 1: the ground floor landing of the school, moving towards the 407 00:27:20,115 --> 00:27:23,915 Speaker 1: door that opened onto the playground. But I was still 408 00:27:23,955 --> 00:27:26,915 Speaker 1: on the stairs, six or seven steps up. And it 409 00:27:27,035 --> 00:27:29,675 Speaker 1: dawned upon me that now those stairs made me at 410 00:27:29,795 --> 00:27:33,075 Speaker 1: least two feet taller than this guy was, and that 411 00:27:33,235 --> 00:27:38,555 Speaker 1: gravity had become my accomplice. I literally threw myself forward 412 00:27:38,755 --> 00:27:42,075 Speaker 1: off the stairs. I landed on him, my knees connecting 413 00:27:42,115 --> 00:27:44,995 Speaker 1: with his chest. The force of my leap pushed us 414 00:27:45,035 --> 00:27:47,835 Speaker 1: both through the open door. We hit the playground with 415 00:27:47,875 --> 00:27:51,395 Speaker 1: a thud, him on his back, me on his chest, 416 00:27:51,475 --> 00:27:54,275 Speaker 1: with my knees and the full weight of my body 417 00:27:54,355 --> 00:27:58,275 Speaker 1: pinning down his elbows and upper arms. The most he 418 00:27:58,275 --> 00:28:01,755 Speaker 1: could do was slap at me, without aim or force. 419 00:28:03,195 --> 00:28:06,115 Speaker 1: This is basically the visual of the Ralphie beats up 420 00:28:06,115 --> 00:28:08,515 Speaker 1: the bully scene in a Christmas story, only there was 421 00:28:08,555 --> 00:28:13,435 Speaker 1: no snow because it was June and I went to town. 422 00:28:14,275 --> 00:28:17,915 Speaker 1: All that nice pacifist d programming went out the window. 423 00:28:18,515 --> 00:28:24,635 Speaker 1: The bully had stolen my baseball cards. I punched him repeatedly, 424 00:28:24,995 --> 00:28:29,355 Speaker 1: even as a serene clarity overtook me. I was displeased, 425 00:28:29,835 --> 00:28:32,915 Speaker 1: but I was not blind with anger. As I was 426 00:28:32,995 --> 00:28:36,075 Speaker 1: contemplating this, suddenly I felt the large hands under my 427 00:28:36,235 --> 00:28:40,675 Speaker 1: arms of the gym teacher, mister Hood. Mister Hood lifted 428 00:28:40,715 --> 00:28:43,035 Speaker 1: me off the bully and said something, and I said, 429 00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:46,755 Speaker 1: matter of factly, why did you do that? I'm not 430 00:28:46,955 --> 00:28:50,515 Speaker 1: finished yet. I shook him off, and to my surprise, 431 00:28:50,915 --> 00:28:54,755 Speaker 1: he fell into some low hedges. I turned back to 432 00:28:54,795 --> 00:28:57,395 Speaker 1: the bully, who was still soupine on the beautiful, freshly 433 00:28:57,435 --> 00:29:01,395 Speaker 1: resurfaced playground. I assumed the same posture I had before, 434 00:29:01,515 --> 00:29:04,315 Speaker 1: but instead of hitting him now, I simply grabbed his 435 00:29:04,355 --> 00:29:06,435 Speaker 1: head and began to lift it up and then pound 436 00:29:06,475 --> 00:29:08,875 Speaker 1: it down. Lift it up, and then pound it down, 437 00:29:09,235 --> 00:29:12,195 Speaker 1: Lift it up, and then pound it down. I became 438 00:29:12,235 --> 00:29:14,635 Speaker 1: aware at this point that the entire fourth grade had 439 00:29:14,635 --> 00:29:18,475 Speaker 1: formed a gasping semi circle around us, and now I 440 00:29:18,555 --> 00:29:24,315 Speaker 1: thought of them, I'm a giver. He bullied them too, 441 00:29:24,595 --> 00:29:28,795 Speaker 1: boys and girls alike, and we had, as I figured 442 00:29:28,795 --> 00:29:32,355 Speaker 1: out at that moment, eight years and one day left 443 00:29:32,515 --> 00:29:37,635 Speaker 1: of school, to deal with this bully. It would be easiest. 444 00:29:38,075 --> 00:29:40,995 Speaker 1: I concluded that if I ended his bullying right there, 445 00:29:41,435 --> 00:29:44,035 Speaker 1: so I kept pounding his head into the p Ttarmacadam's 446 00:29:44,035 --> 00:29:49,035 Speaker 1: surface so he'd never forget or maybe forget a lot. 447 00:29:49,395 --> 00:29:52,315 Speaker 1: And then I felt four large hands under my arms. 448 00:29:52,355 --> 00:29:55,835 Speaker 1: Mister Hood had finally disentangled himself from the shrubbery, and 449 00:29:56,435 --> 00:29:59,475 Speaker 1: my mother had appeared. Somehow, just as in the movie, 450 00:29:59,995 --> 00:30:04,515 Speaker 1: they were finally able to overpower me. Since my folks 451 00:30:04,675 --> 00:30:06,155 Speaker 1: had spent the year trying to get me to do 452 00:30:06,195 --> 00:30:08,155 Speaker 1: what I had just done, they were cool with all this, 453 00:30:08,315 --> 00:30:11,315 Speaker 1: I believe. We went to get some ice cream. Somehow. 454 00:30:11,355 --> 00:30:13,995 Speaker 1: I didn't even get punished for pushing the gym teacher 455 00:30:14,075 --> 00:30:17,035 Speaker 1: mister Hood, so now that I think about it, from 456 00:30:17,115 --> 00:30:19,715 Speaker 1: that day on, mister Hood always looked wearily at me, 457 00:30:20,275 --> 00:30:24,955 Speaker 1: and then he transferred to another school. The next day, 458 00:30:25,515 --> 00:30:28,115 Speaker 1: the last day of fourth grade, I walked into my classroom, 459 00:30:28,115 --> 00:30:31,875 Speaker 1: Missus Wolfe's class, really not thinking about the previous day's 460 00:30:32,835 --> 00:30:36,595 Speaker 1: dry run for a movie scene. All the boys in 461 00:30:36,675 --> 00:30:38,915 Speaker 1: the class were huddled in a far corner of the 462 00:30:38,995 --> 00:30:42,155 Speaker 1: room whispering. After I sat at my desk, the one 463 00:30:42,195 --> 00:30:45,115 Speaker 1: who had collaborated the least with the bully and his toadies, 464 00:30:45,515 --> 00:30:49,395 Speaker 1: Tom Scharlap came over and said, huh, Keith, I thought 465 00:30:49,395 --> 00:30:51,595 Speaker 1: you might like these, and he handed me a stack 466 00:30:51,995 --> 00:30:56,875 Speaker 1: of baseball cards. I was very moved. I said thank you, Tom, 467 00:30:57,315 --> 00:31:01,235 Speaker 1: and soon, to my bewilderment, every one of the other 468 00:31:01,395 --> 00:31:07,795 Speaker 1: boys brought me tribute baseball card tribute. Some of the 469 00:31:07,835 --> 00:31:10,995 Speaker 1: cards were still unopened in the packs and had clearly 470 00:31:10,995 --> 00:31:16,115 Speaker 1: been obtained that morning at a local candy store. Of course, 471 00:31:16,155 --> 00:31:18,475 Speaker 1: I had now been removed from some kind of cosmic 472 00:31:18,515 --> 00:31:21,595 Speaker 1: precursor to the film A Christmas Story, and I had 473 00:31:21,755 --> 00:31:24,275 Speaker 1: instead been placed in some kind of cosmic precursor to 474 00:31:24,315 --> 00:31:27,595 Speaker 1: the film The Godfather the scene of his daughter's wedding. 475 00:31:29,595 --> 00:31:33,195 Speaker 1: Needless to say, there was no more bullying, although as 476 00:31:33,235 --> 00:31:38,395 Speaker 1: always there's a PostScript. I left that school after the 477 00:31:38,475 --> 00:31:42,315 Speaker 1: seventh grade. But twenty years after that class of kids graduated, 478 00:31:42,355 --> 00:31:44,635 Speaker 1: a girl I had stayed friendly with, she was with 479 00:31:44,715 --> 00:31:47,835 Speaker 1: me in college, invited me to what was there and 480 00:31:48,155 --> 00:31:52,235 Speaker 1: kind of my reunion, and it was transcended. I also 481 00:31:52,275 --> 00:31:56,355 Speaker 1: made the thirtieth anniversary, and in twenty ten, Saturday October 482 00:31:56,355 --> 00:32:01,275 Speaker 1: twenty third, twenty ten, twelve years ago yesterday, I went 483 00:32:01,315 --> 00:32:04,235 Speaker 1: to the thirty fifth anniversary. It was held in, of 484 00:32:04,315 --> 00:32:08,315 Speaker 1: all places, a restaurant in my hometown, across the street 485 00:32:08,355 --> 00:32:11,755 Speaker 1: from a two story building once owned by my dad, 486 00:32:12,355 --> 00:32:16,075 Speaker 1: where my grandmother and grandfather once lived. It was a 487 00:32:16,075 --> 00:32:20,035 Speaker 1: Saturday night in October. It was frosty, misty, the first 488 00:32:20,115 --> 00:32:23,155 Speaker 1: night that truly hinted at the inevitability of winter. And 489 00:32:23,235 --> 00:32:25,675 Speaker 1: I was half an hour early, and I sat there 490 00:32:25,675 --> 00:32:28,755 Speaker 1: on a bench between the restaurant and the municipal parking lot, 491 00:32:28,955 --> 00:32:32,675 Speaker 1: and my whole youth replayed itself in front of my eyes, 492 00:32:33,355 --> 00:32:37,955 Speaker 1: some sadness, mostly happiness, mostly eager anticipation of seeing these 493 00:32:37,995 --> 00:32:42,555 Speaker 1: friends of my youngest youth once more. And then, out 494 00:32:42,555 --> 00:32:48,835 Speaker 1: of the distance, his familiar skinny form, irregularly illuminated by 495 00:32:48,875 --> 00:32:53,435 Speaker 1: the street lights, walking towards me out of the fog, 496 00:32:55,955 --> 00:33:00,475 Speaker 1: was the bully Keith, big hug. You really made it 497 00:33:00,555 --> 00:33:03,035 Speaker 1: some small talk, all of it warm, completely in keeping 498 00:33:03,035 --> 00:33:05,755 Speaker 1: with the oh henry quality of the fog and the 499 00:33:05,835 --> 00:33:08,315 Speaker 1: chill in the air and the reunion. And then he said, hey, 500 00:33:08,315 --> 00:33:10,915 Speaker 1: you know what, I told my mother that you were 501 00:33:10,915 --> 00:33:13,835 Speaker 1: going to be here supposedly tonight. And she said, son, 502 00:33:13,955 --> 00:33:16,675 Speaker 1: maybe you shouldn't go. And I said, why not? Ma? 503 00:33:17,315 --> 00:33:22,115 Speaker 1: And she said, well, you and Keith had some problems 504 00:33:22,515 --> 00:33:26,555 Speaker 1: when you were kids fourth or fifth grade, And I said, 505 00:33:26,555 --> 00:33:28,555 Speaker 1: I had no idea what she was talking about. Did 506 00:33:28,555 --> 00:33:30,675 Speaker 1: we have problems, did we have a fight or something? 507 00:33:32,035 --> 00:33:40,675 Speaker 1: Time stood still. What do you say to him? It 508 00:33:40,715 --> 00:33:43,475 Speaker 1: felt like I considered the options for several minutes. In reality, 509 00:33:43,515 --> 00:33:45,715 Speaker 1: it was just a few seconds of hesitation. At that long, 510 00:33:46,235 --> 00:33:50,555 Speaker 1: it dawned on me. I won that battle in nineteen 511 00:33:50,635 --> 00:33:54,355 Speaker 1: sixty seven. This was now twenty ten. There was no 512 00:33:54,435 --> 00:33:57,835 Speaker 1: reason to real litigate this. If he was faking not 513 00:33:57,955 --> 00:34:00,915 Speaker 1: remembering it, I should go along with him and also 514 00:34:01,075 --> 00:34:05,155 Speaker 1: fake not remembering it. If he really didn't remember, it 515 00:34:05,235 --> 00:34:08,395 Speaker 1: was possible that this was because I kept pounding his 516 00:34:08,475 --> 00:34:11,515 Speaker 1: head against the playground surface in June nineteen sixty seven. 517 00:34:14,355 --> 00:34:17,515 Speaker 1: I'm sure we had a fight, I said, finally. I 518 00:34:17,555 --> 00:34:19,475 Speaker 1: mean every kid in that class had a fight. I 519 00:34:19,475 --> 00:34:22,195 Speaker 1: mean in the fourth grade. I fought Brian Rubin one day, 520 00:34:22,555 --> 00:34:24,915 Speaker 1: and then I fought with him against Gordon Craig and 521 00:34:24,995 --> 00:34:29,355 Speaker 1: Ricky Wester the next day. So what he smiled? I smiled. 522 00:34:29,995 --> 00:34:33,395 Speaker 1: Another figure emerged from a newly parked car. Hey, look 523 00:34:33,435 --> 00:34:37,515 Speaker 1: it's Katzenstein. Let's go inside. I'll buy both of you 524 00:34:37,555 --> 00:34:41,715 Speaker 1: guys a drink. We had a great time and I 525 00:34:41,795 --> 00:34:44,875 Speaker 1: never brought up the fight. But truth be told, it 526 00:34:44,995 --> 00:34:48,555 Speaker 1: did take all of my self control to not ask 527 00:34:48,755 --> 00:34:53,875 Speaker 1: one question of everybody I saw, and that one question 528 00:34:53,915 --> 00:34:57,275 Speaker 1: won't have been Hey, anybody know whatever happened to that 529 00:34:57,395 --> 00:35:13,155 Speaker 1: gym teacher, mister Hood. I've done all the damage I 530 00:35:13,155 --> 00:35:15,355 Speaker 1: can do here. Thank you for listening. Countdown has come 531 00:35:15,395 --> 00:35:17,635 Speaker 1: to you from the Vin Scully Studio at the Old 532 00:35:17,635 --> 00:35:21,355 Speaker 1: Woman Broadcasting Empire in New York. The music you've heard 533 00:35:21,475 --> 00:35:23,715 Speaker 1: was for the most part, arranged, produced, and performed by 534 00:35:23,755 --> 00:35:26,755 Speaker 1: the Countdown musical directors Brian Ray and John Phillip Schanel. 535 00:35:27,155 --> 00:35:30,515 Speaker 1: Brian Ray handled the guitars, bass and drums. John Phillip 536 00:35:30,555 --> 00:35:33,235 Speaker 1: Shanelle did the orchestration and keyboards, and it was produced 537 00:35:33,235 --> 00:35:37,795 Speaker 1: by Tko Brothers. Other music, including other Beethoven tunes, arranged 538 00:35:37,795 --> 00:35:41,275 Speaker 1: and performed by No Horns Allowed. Sports music is courtesy 539 00:35:41,355 --> 00:35:44,035 Speaker 1: of ESPN, Inc. And was written by Mitch Warren Davis. 540 00:35:44,195 --> 00:35:47,155 Speaker 1: We call it the Olderman theme from ESPN two. Our 541 00:35:47,195 --> 00:35:50,475 Speaker 1: satirical and pithy musical comments were by Nancy Faust, the 542 00:35:50,475 --> 00:35:53,635 Speaker 1: best baseball stadium organist ever, our announcer today was my 543 00:35:53,675 --> 00:35:56,395 Speaker 1: friend Kenny Maine, and everything else was pretty much my fault. 544 00:35:56,755 --> 00:35:59,115 Speaker 1: So that's countdown for this the one thousand and eighth 545 00:35:59,235 --> 00:36:02,635 Speaker 1: day since Donald Trump's first attempted coup against the democratically 546 00:36:02,635 --> 00:36:06,035 Speaker 1: elected government of the United States victim. Now while we 547 00:36:06,115 --> 00:36:09,475 Speaker 1: still can, the next scheduled countdown is tomorrow. We are 548 00:36:09,515 --> 00:36:12,355 Speaker 1: here four days a week, bulletins as the news warrants, 549 00:36:12,355 --> 00:36:15,275 Speaker 1: till then. I am Keith Olderman. Good morning, good afternoon, 550 00:36:15,355 --> 00:36:27,515 Speaker 1: good night, and good luck. Countdown with Keith Olderman is 551 00:36:27,555 --> 00:36:32,355 Speaker 1: a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit 552 00:36:32,395 --> 00:36:37,075 Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.