Speaker 1: Are you leaving?
Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 1: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 3: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim.
Speaker 4: Give us time and a termino and gay. We want
Speaker 4: to send you off InStyle. We wanna welcome you back home.
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 1: Porn?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do your need ride.
Speaker 2: With Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 2: This is Chris Fairbanks is Garaff and we are on Vine.
Speaker 1: Very famous. It's just, you know, it's not what everybody
Speaker 1: says it is. It's just a street like anybody else.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of people, people from out of town
Speaker 2: will come and say Vine Boulevard, Oh.
Speaker 1: God, I love Vine.
Speaker 2: I'll say yeah, or just Vine go back to Wisconsin.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't know what you're talking.
Speaker 2: It's a street.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: We are headed on it due south to pick up
Speaker 2: Andy Kindler.
Speaker 1: And we are headed in the direction of the airport,
Speaker 1: which is south if you're driving in Los Angeles. But
Speaker 1: Andy is not at the airport. He already landed at
Speaker 1: the airport. Then he had to get quickly to a job.
Speaker 1: And Andy is a highly neurotic Jew. If you have never
Speaker 1: heard of Andy Kindler, please know that about him first
Speaker 1: and foremost. So he wanted us to pick him up
Speaker 1: at the job and not from the airport, right because
Speaker 1: he didn't want us to make him late, stood that
Speaker 1: we would feel bad.
Speaker 2: And call me neurotic too. Paint me neurotic jew because
Speaker 2: I too did not want to make him late for
Speaker 2: his thing.
Speaker 1: And paint me like one of your neurotic Jews.
Speaker 2: Actually, could you paint me like a cat? That would
Speaker 2: be great.
Speaker 1: Could you paint me Sorry, I didn't have one. I
Speaker 1: just want to be a part of the conversation.
Speaker 2: You paint me with a butterfly under my eye, and
Speaker 2: just like I've been licking a lollipop all day.
Speaker 1: Could you paint me and then two wolves on either
Speaker 1: side of me and we're all near a moon.
Speaker 2: Ooh, paint me like the Gold Lady from James Bond.
Speaker 1: Oh no, she died, Oh yes, she died of paint.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I do believe that might be an urban legend.
Speaker 1: In the movie. Isn't that how they is not that
Speaker 1: how they kill somebody? They cover them in paint.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't think so you think I
Speaker 2: have a tank of.
Speaker 1: Sharks viewers, you tell us who's.
Speaker 2: Yes, I believe it was just during an opening sequence
Speaker 2: there's a scantily clad lady. Maybe she's not clad at all,
Speaker 2: she's just been dipped in latex. Yeah, and then there's
Speaker 2: a rumor that that lady then her skin closed up,
Speaker 2: closed up on her, and she ceased to exist, go
Speaker 2: binga going.
Speaker 1: That's not how that song goes at all. None of
Speaker 1: those tries we're even close to it.
Speaker 2: I could keep trying all day and not accidentally nail
Speaker 2: the way that song goes.
Speaker 1: There's no funner song to try and fail at them.
Speaker 2: The finger And if you're listening right now and you're like,
Speaker 2: funner is not a word, it is now? Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: in the dictionary now. Oh, I'm tired of people correcting
Speaker 2: me just because they're not up on their webster.
Speaker 1: Yeah, guess guess what the Urban Dictionary says? What's true anymore?
Speaker 1: And Funner's in there along with a lot of dirty stuff.
Speaker 2: Next to twerk and Blaine. It's not alphabetized anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that doesn't matter. Spelling doesn't matter. Definitions don't matter.
Speaker 1: It's just whatever the kids want to put in.
Speaker 2: It's an order of newness and irritability.
Speaker 1: What's the most annoying? We'll put that at the top.
Speaker 2: I think I was thinking about that the other day.
Speaker 2: I think it's I think someone voted actually, and I agree,
Speaker 2: selfie is the worst word in our lexicon. The next
Speaker 2: word is, of course, lexical lexicon. What's work for?
Speaker 1: Whatxicography?
Speaker 2: I do not know.
Speaker 1: I don't like selfie only because I just don't understand.
Speaker 1: But I do understand. But it's just this new trend
Speaker 1: of everybody, truly in insincerity, taking pictures of themselves and
Speaker 1: doing everything all the time right, and thinking other people
Speaker 1: want to see that all.
Speaker 2: To the point where even I do it?
Speaker 1: Do you do it?
Speaker 2: Well? I don't hand my phone to some lunatic here
Speaker 2: take my picture. That's embarrassing.
Speaker 1: Well, that wouldn't be a selfie. Selfie is when you
Speaker 1: do it yourself right, right.
Speaker 2: So that's why I end up selfieing, because I'm not, oh,
Speaker 2: I see, I'm not ever gonna invite someone to take
Speaker 2: a photo of me. That's the most humiliating venture I
Speaker 2: can think of.
Speaker 1: Here, could you capture me in my loneeness.
Speaker 2: You don't know me very well, but I'd like you
Speaker 2: to hold my phone. It's worth upwards of two hundred dollars.
Speaker 2: Please don't run, and I'm gonna smile at you as
Speaker 2: if you aren't a stranger holding the most important pocket
Speaker 2: computer I own. That's what that's why I'll just go
Speaker 2: oh right, I'm in Spain. Clic min ghost.
Speaker 1: Does it and then it goes you have a football.
Speaker 2: The band is called Yellow Oh.
Speaker 1: Someone knows his eighties life.
Speaker 2: Eighties I do I have? Actually that song was also
Speaker 2: featured in Bright Lights Big City. Oh, prior to.
Speaker 1: Feris Bueller Feris Bueler No really, yes, yes, bright Light's
Speaker 1: Big City. They really did a brave casting choice by
Speaker 1: putting Michael J. Fox into that film.
Speaker 2: Isn't it about coke? Isn't it like a lighthearted version
Speaker 2: of uh of? Yeah? Fuck? You know what? My brain
Speaker 2: is a shriveling raising. I think it's because of the
Speaker 2: heat today.
Speaker 1: That's what we always do. That's our theme is like
Speaker 1: we can't think of words, we can't pronounce.
Speaker 2: Words, and we get angry at our brains.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we get angried our brains and then I say
Speaker 1: fuck it.
Speaker 2: Means that I thought that you were gonna cut down
Speaker 2: on the fuck word.
Speaker 1: You That'll be my last one, I swear to I like.
Speaker 2: To call it the fuck word.
Speaker 1: Don't shorten it.
Speaker 2: You know. Oh what's the it's uh Robert Downey Junior
Speaker 2: and James Spader and there's cocaine us.
Speaker 1: Oh that was a lesson zero less than zero?
Speaker 2: Why isn't Why isn't Bright Lights Big City? A lighthearted
Speaker 2: version of Lesson zero?
Speaker 1: Well, I believe it was the same author, So you're
Speaker 1: gonna get proper the same tone. Oh yeah, similar. It's
Speaker 1: Brettie Stonellis, right.
Speaker 2: Oh, Breddy, We love Stonellis. There's a person named Bretty
Speaker 2: Freddy like, no, how's that sandwich? It's a little too bretty?
Speaker 1: Are you joking?
Speaker 2: I don't know Brettie Stenellis is because everyone knows that is.
Speaker 5: Okay, Brett Brett, Oh Brett in front of me?
Speaker 2: So far?
Speaker 1: God bless you?
Speaker 2: Do you want a hard candy? Bretty Bretty Stanellis.
Speaker 1: He was named after his father, who was a baker,
Speaker 1: is a.
Speaker 2: Bret and his mother was a stenographer and her name
Speaker 2: was Elice. So Brettie Stanellis became an obvious Oh look,
Speaker 2: this house to the left was it's the early home
Speaker 2: of a shaky Burfler who was the first prop Oh see,
Speaker 2: I don't like them when someone opens the door and
Speaker 2: just leaps into traffic.
Speaker 1: Well, uh, we are right now, and just I'm going
Speaker 1: to tell the people we're in Rossmore. The Rossmore district
Speaker 1: pretty much is Vine Vine turns into Rossmore, Yeah.
Speaker 2: And it becomes beautiful homes and.
Speaker 1: Mansions, such gorgeous homes.
Speaker 2: I wonder what that person does for a living, beautiful
Speaker 2: house like that eighty nine Nissan CenTra in the.
Speaker 1: Driveway right, because you know why they let the help
Speaker 1: park in the driveway. Oh, that's what it is, the help.
Speaker 2: I'm just when I get out of my car and
Speaker 2: there's passing cars. And we may have talked about this
Speaker 2: in the past, but I am so cautious. I hug
Speaker 2: the side of my car, a shimmy to the side,
Speaker 2: getting my pants and shirt dirty.
Speaker 1: Because you don't wash your car.
Speaker 2: No, because there's a rout. There's a drought. Now, don't
Speaker 2: care of the water lines are breaking in thirteen thousand
Speaker 2: gallons are spilling into the sea.
Speaker 1: You don't care, I do care, You do care.
Speaker 2: That's what I meant to say the opposite good. I
Speaker 2: do care good, I said no. I here's what I
Speaker 2: was saying. I don't care if we are wasting so
Speaker 2: much with when water line breakages. I'm not going to
Speaker 2: wash my car because that's my version of the ice
Speaker 2: bucket challenge.
Speaker 1: Oh, you're supporting. You are raising money for als by
Speaker 1: washing your car, even though no one's set up a program.
Speaker 2: Slash actually raising awareness about the drought in Los Angeles.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, it's always been a confusing double edge charity
Speaker 2: story for me. Maybe I'm having a stroke. Is my
Speaker 2: face looking weird because my brain is just not working?
Speaker 1: No, it's fine. I think it's five o'clock.
Speaker 2: That's a perfect time of the day for me to
Speaker 2: be firing on all cylinders.
Speaker 1: But maybe you are.
Speaker 2: I've had my afternoon coffee.
Speaker 1: Maybe you need more.
Speaker 2: Maybe I do need more.
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe we should have got coffee with any Kidler.
Speaker 2: We should. Oh, then we'd totally be ripping off Seinfeld's thing.
Speaker 1: Oh yea, oh, that's right.
Speaker 2: He's letters comedians and cars getting coffee with Andy Kindler. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's just Elie's Andy. I'm so excited to watch that.
Speaker 2: Did he tell you what his meeting was about, or
Speaker 2: is that it's a hush hush.
Speaker 1: Thing Andy's You know, he was very vague. He was
Speaker 1: all worried, like, I don't think I can talk about it,
Speaker 1: so don't ask me about it. So I think we
Speaker 1: should guess and see what we think it is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if it's secretive, then they it might be JFK two,
Speaker 1: Oliver Stone's sequel to the JFK film, which.
Speaker 2: Of course he would be involved with.
Speaker 1: Of course Andy would write that, Yes, Oh that's my guess.
Speaker 1: What's your guest?
Speaker 2: Well, the bretty Easton seamstress would be the writer on that.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, don't count that as a misfire, because Breddy's
Speaker 1: and Eli's is the best mistake you've ever made. And
Speaker 1: that's how art happens.
Speaker 2: Oh Joe, come on, gmc sierra. Oh, he just coughed
Speaker 2: up a cartoonish black cloud onto us, and and we
Speaker 2: all know I try and keep this Honda clean, sir, seriously,
Speaker 2: that was Oh my god, I why do I His
Speaker 2: car did just die? Oh man, he didn't even spit
Speaker 2: out his cigarette.
Speaker 1: But I literally have to roll down the window because
Speaker 1: there's so much carbon dioxide in this car.
Speaker 2: That was amazing. He did in one fail cough swoop.
Speaker 2: First of it's in my mouth. God, that was like
Speaker 2: being in a garage for an afternoon. It's almost like
Speaker 2: we were a sad dad trying to offer ourselves.
Speaker 1: Yes, seriously, I want to live. Yeah, I don't want to.
Speaker 2: I want to see my kids go to college, the
Speaker 2: kids I don't have. All. Honk yourself.
Speaker 1: Now, we're in a very We're in a hot button area.
Speaker 1: I would say Rossmoren's Third is where a lot of
Speaker 1: rich people live, the kind of people who don't believe
Speaker 1: they should wait for anything.
Speaker 2: Right, right, You're.
Speaker 1: Gonna here honking. There's gonna be some screechy land rovers.
Speaker 2: Yep, and there's going to be houses that have gardeners
Speaker 2: with trucks that are breaking down.
Speaker 1: With trucks that try to kill you like you're a
Speaker 1: spy chasing them in their James Bond releasing Humongous.
Speaker 2: Black straight out of Spy Hunter, the video game, What next,
Speaker 2: Sir an oil Slick, I would like to say to him,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: I don't get video game references.
Speaker 2: Well, Spy Hunter it's a little game. It's a bird's
Speaker 2: eye view. You control it and you can do one
Speaker 2: of two things, outrun the cars or leave oil in
Speaker 2: the road, and or smoke screen. I see it was great.
Speaker 2: It was one of those games that you sit in
Speaker 2: a thing. All my video game knowledge is from the arcade.
Speaker 2: Let's just let it be known. I do not I'm
Speaker 2: not a home gamer.
Speaker 1: Oh, I see this is from so is it an
Speaker 1: old one?
Speaker 2: It is a very old game.
Speaker 1: We're going to right and then we're gonna go left
Speaker 1: on mirror Fields.
Speaker 2: Okay, and he just said.
Speaker 1: The corner of Wilshire and Mirrorfield.
Speaker 2: I can't wait. I would be surprised if he is
Speaker 2: hesitant to talk about stuff because I'm he's the man
Speaker 2: who does the state of the Industry address and he's
Speaker 2: not afraid.
Speaker 1: That maybe Jabs is that mirror Field. No, let's Brookside.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm excited for him to enter the vehicle. Maybe
Speaker 2: you can pick up and fill in the gaps with
Speaker 2: some of my dad Hudson Mullen.
Speaker 1: Mullen, mirror Field. This is rimpau fucking ah.
Speaker 2: Did we miss it? Because I it seemed like it
Speaker 2: was right there on the old map.
Speaker 1: I mean, let me look at this map. I know
Speaker 1: it did seem like that. Hudson. Oh, it's oh yeah,
Speaker 1: it's behind us.
Speaker 2: Sorry, okay, that's all right, we're gonna turn around us. Yes, sorry,
Speaker 2: I get cold. Oh here I go.
Speaker 1: Run that yell and then yeah I can't. It's the
Speaker 1: worst have in the world. I'm the ultimate front seat driver.
Speaker 1: This podcast is making me work on all my bad habits.
Speaker 2: It's work on making them stronger.
Speaker 1: Yea, god damn it. There she goes. Oh that guy
Speaker 1: just taking a rest. I look at what people lay
Speaker 1: around in LA.
Speaker 2: It's such a precarious, like balanced like he's a cat.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was balanced kind of on a what would
Speaker 1: that be, like a little planter wall?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is as narrow as his body. Yeah, he
Speaker 2: was almost in full slumber.
Speaker 1: What a great guy.
Speaker 2: He's great. He was like a cartoon mouse the way
Speaker 2: he was sleeping, just snoring, and his hat hovering above
Speaker 2: his head and sucked back down and then blowing up.
Speaker 1: I found I foundr field. I found it.
Speaker 2: It's just a field of mirrors.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm going to be able to tell you exactly
Speaker 1: when it turned so exciting it was. It was basically
Speaker 1: a block after our we turned off.
Speaker 2: Will I be taking a right?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 1: He said south?
Speaker 6: So yes, I believe so.
Speaker 2: Mirfield popular mer Cat.
Speaker 1: I don't like when or it might be on the corner,
Speaker 1: so you know what Mullen, Well that's Mullen interesting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're not there yet.
Speaker 2: Oh we have about it blocked. This looks like Airfield Road.
Speaker 1: We'll try it this way first.
Speaker 2: Yeah or Moore? Oh that says Moory and.
Speaker 1: You jeez, that was Korean.
Speaker 2: Yeah that was a bizarre word.
Speaker 1: So I think it was up above God damn it.
Speaker 6: Oh so we.
Speaker 1: Let me text him to see if he can come
Speaker 1: to the corner.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that'd be great. So I'm gonna do another. There's
Speaker 2: a lot of these episodes we are going to be
Speaker 2: listening driving logistics. Thank you. That guy fancies himself a
Speaker 2: bit of a traffic director. Oh yeah, Oh I'm gonna
Speaker 2: wait here, okay, because every once in a while, you know,
Speaker 2: you can't not just talk about what is happening currently.
Speaker 1: Right in your car as you drive. You're being forced
Speaker 1: ton nary your own U turn.
Speaker 2: Oftentimes I do it out of it said safety. Really,
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm taking U turn. Does any if anyone opposes,
Speaker 2: say nay, he is right there.
Speaker 1: We have to get across this. I think you can
Speaker 1: do it.
Speaker 2: We're coming fing of it, sir, Kitdler, Come on Andy,
Speaker 2: Oh he can't hear it. We're so far away. Wait,
Speaker 2: he waved. Let everyone know that he waved. He is
Speaker 2: confirming that we are arriving and he will be entering
Speaker 2: and judging by this traffic, it'll only be thirty minutes.
Speaker 1: So the mistake I just made made Chris go right
Speaker 1: instead of left, And now we are on one side
Speaker 1: of Wiltshire. And this is like the game Frogger, where
Speaker 1: the chances of us getting to the other side of blusher.
Speaker 2: Are no but me the chances of me side stepping
Speaker 2: and leaping on a floating log are very are to one.
Speaker 1: There we go, well done.
Speaker 2: Alrighty here he goes and here we are yay already
Speaker 2: like what he's doing?
Speaker 1: Hello, sir, would you like a rye?
Speaker 2: Hi? There?
Speaker 6: I have my.
Speaker 1: You have camerastick this?
Speaker 6: Oh you can't hear me? Did you? Did you not
Speaker 6: hear the first part?
Speaker 2: I saw that I do like you?
Speaker 6: Do you want to do it? Wah lah? Do you
Speaker 6: want to catch it?
Speaker 2: Wild? Let's do it a cappella.
Speaker 6: Let's go in the studio and do it wild? Are
Speaker 6: we gonna do any a d R and the additional
Speaker 6: record get in. Do you need help? Well, the airport's
Speaker 6: just crazy today. I don't no, no, I just meant
Speaker 6: to general. Who's with me? Wait? Is there a cup holder?
Speaker 2: There can be what I've never said.
Speaker 6: People like the fourth Wall being broken.
Speaker 1: They love it. It's so real.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we've been talking about traffic this whole time. And
Speaker 2: and he's entering the vehicle, he's getting his luggage.
Speaker 1: He looks like a pharmaceutical rep. He's got two small
Speaker 1: black roller bags.
Speaker 2: Products.
Speaker 6: I love the way you say. I'll have to pretend
Speaker 6: tell that to Peter pan. Oh my god, taker? Who's
Speaker 6: tinker belt? Why they call it taker belt? I'm taking
Speaker 6: four hours to put two bags, all right? And I
Speaker 6: will do the bit that I do all the time.
Speaker 6: I'm sorry, I can't sign if I signed for you,
Speaker 6: I have the time for everybody. Also, like Louis c K,
Speaker 6: I refuse to take a picture with you. It takes
Speaker 6: me longer to tell you that I refuse to take
Speaker 6: a picture with you then it would be is that true?
Speaker 1: Can't be true?
Speaker 6: It is true.
Speaker 1: It simply can't telling you.
Speaker 2: But all the stories I've heard it's that he's just
Speaker 2: a sweetheart.
Speaker 6: You know what, he is the greatest comic of our generation.
Speaker 1: It's true and uh andy, wait all right, let's talk
Speaker 1: get into this. Let's talk about you, though, is what
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 6: And how I'm not the greatest.
Speaker 2: I think you are here.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna do not reveal where you're going.
Speaker 1: You are of my whole life. You know we will
Speaker 1: not you.
Speaker 6: Hold this mike one more seconds. I don't know about you.
Speaker 6: Guys like trapped in?
Speaker 1: Oh good idea. No, we're all strapped in.
Speaker 2: We are all strapped in.
Speaker 6: Someone in start the sexual joke. Strapped in more like
Speaker 6: hanging from a harness with as fiction? Is that the kids.
Speaker 2: Like the that's what she said?
Speaker 6: No, no, but I'll take this quota back there. Okay, No, no,
Speaker 6: it's the guy your so I can't say what the
Speaker 6: brand is. I like COLA.
Speaker 2: You don't want to get sued again? No, we remember
Speaker 2: that Shasta debacle.
Speaker 6: Where's your joke was in the A's A. I don't
Speaker 6: want to get that dot dot dot again. Claren still
Speaker 6: loves the classics.
Speaker 1: I love any so hilarious.
Speaker 6: Should turn my phone off? Who cares?
Speaker 2: Turn right or left?
Speaker 1: You should go right?
Speaker 6: Say where you're going though, Oh I won't.
Speaker 2: I want. It's going to be a series.
Speaker 6: Of you know, even if you say the most expensive
Speaker 6: water Malibu, that's too much.
Speaker 1: Even then the people will be driving wildly towards your
Speaker 1: whom you're you.
Speaker 2: Just say whom? That one that's her. Anytime we talk
Speaker 2: about Malibu, she does this rich person accent.
Speaker 1: Who said, hello, I belove Can I come.
Speaker 2: Until you do? You have to.
Speaker 6: Get the idea. Are Young's podcast with you? I d
Speaker 6: fifteen minutes before the hour and uh, we can do
Speaker 6: that and no, but every one of my bits that
Speaker 6: break the fourth wall are all tired old.
Speaker 2: Well, if you could do some of the occasional traffic report,
Speaker 2: that'd be great because my Ways app is not being well.
Speaker 6: I'll be in my jet. Oh I love. The thing
Speaker 6: I love about Ways is when I'm driving and I
Speaker 6: can't even need task how I think popping up? Bubbles
Speaker 6: popping up?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a gun. It's a game or something like
Speaker 2: you get calling on a g oh no.
Speaker 6: Game days no gaze GZ a guy who was in
Speaker 6: the village. People gives you directions too much.
Speaker 1: You have to get the microphone out of your mouth.
Speaker 6: I'm sorry you really days, really are I think you're
Speaker 6: going the opposite the way, but I don't even care
Speaker 6: you live in the valley. Oh you're going south.
Speaker 1: No, we're not.
Speaker 2: We're going north right now?
Speaker 6: Hello, I think I don't know where I know. Hello. Hello,
Speaker 6: that's that's still good, right, Yes? Are you watching the levels?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's great.
Speaker 6: And then you might hear my new joke that just
Speaker 6: came up with please because I have to. Instead of
Speaker 6: writing it down, you send it to me. Joke is, uh,
Speaker 6: you know, to compare everybody at Hitler, right, yeah, so, uh,
Speaker 6: Harvey Levin is evil. He's uh, he's I'd say he's
Speaker 6: worse than Hitler because Hitler wasn't a gossip.
Speaker 2: Thank you too soon, Harve tmz Oh that's why people
Speaker 2: around the country don't know yeh yeh see. I think
Speaker 2: this is an international audience.
Speaker 6: So when did you get married?
Speaker 2: Well, it was shotgun style?
Speaker 6: Literally, what about your dad with a shotgun? That's not funny.
Speaker 6: My father just got shot this morning.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, that was this morning.
Speaker 6: I love that joke. After he dies, un you.
Speaker 2: Can rewrite it after he died.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, else, you know why I don't want to
Speaker 6: get divorced so I love my wife, but I want
Speaker 6: to have ex wife jokes. You can, well, my first
Speaker 6: wife jokes.
Speaker 1: I feel like people expect that from you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, first wife jokes, or better your next wife jokes.
Speaker 1: Your first wife because she is your first wife.
Speaker 6: Right, that's true, that's true.
Speaker 1: It is accurate.
Speaker 6: But can I do a couple of can Burns things?
Speaker 2: Of course?
Speaker 6: Uh? Is my career over? Okay? Well I wouldn't say, oh,
Speaker 6: you always have to identify the question. Am I the
Speaker 6: oldest person of my group? Still doing it and it's
Speaker 6: not looking good? Maybe? All right, take that out. I'm
Speaker 6: going to be one of those take that out.
Speaker 1: Guys are workshopping ship, have a conversation.
Speaker 6: Oh okay, have a problem with me whatever they say, Like,
Speaker 6: if actors have to listen, then then let's take me
Speaker 6: out of the loop bit.
Speaker 2: Right right, I'm just wait. You're waiting to tell jokes.
Speaker 6: That's what I I do that when you see their
Speaker 6: lips when I'm acting with someone, I see their lists moving.
Speaker 6: All I can say is like, I don't remember the script?
Speaker 6: Are they completely dying?
Speaker 1: That's not true? You're very good on Maren Andrew.
Speaker 6: Oh god, I wind you away seven minutes more because
Speaker 6: you didn't give.
Speaker 1: Me the schedule.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, the Marin mentioned was supposed to be twenty.
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be.
Speaker 6: That's why I have thirty on the dot.
Speaker 2: J We have a we have a four or five
Speaker 2: is blocked up.
Speaker 6: We have a fender bender, and so what there's a.
Speaker 2: Tan saturn when a child back, he belongs there, leave
Speaker 2: them alone his parents.
Speaker 6: What is someone refer to a terrible accident. Oh, we
Speaker 6: have a feather bender. Fifty five people were killed on
Speaker 6: the I. I was a fender bend tragedy. It was
Speaker 6: ready and they ran into a little bit of wet stuff.
Speaker 6: So coming up blood o dying in the desert today
Speaker 6: because they hit triple digits.
Speaker 2: Now the new one from this old mud.
Speaker 6: I think we're all over the top. Now we should
Speaker 6: bring it down.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's a notch, all right, my laugh. So you're
Speaker 2: you were at a you were a high pressure Hollywood meeting.
Speaker 2: We just picked you up.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, well I did a thing, and I can
Speaker 6: say this part of the thing I did, and this
Speaker 6: has happened to me once a week now. First of all,
Speaker 6: I want to thank Karen because I realized I didn't
Speaker 6: say anything embarrassing, except that in the I will say
Speaker 6: what I said in the tweet.
Speaker 1: Oh, it wasn't tweet, it was a text.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 6: I'm not tweeting to you this I text you. I
Speaker 6: can't say that what I was doing. But here's what
Speaker 6: I text. I think I'm doing it to Susan. I say, oh,
Speaker 6: it's a five diamond hotel, and it's the and the
Speaker 6: incidentals things. I didn't have to put a credit card
Speaker 6: down on the room. It's beginning a free food and
Speaker 6: I got perdem. How sad is my life that I
Speaker 6: you know that or stand up comics life that not
Speaker 6: being asked for credit card is caused for celebrations though,
Speaker 6: and once a week I do this because something with
Speaker 6: the iPhone. If you if I'm texting to you and
Speaker 6: then a new text comes in, and then I text
Speaker 6: back somehow, always to to the last person.
Speaker 1: This is interesting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, get get up, always spilled.
Speaker 6: It should be a great hand of my sitcom.
Speaker 2: Wake up.
Speaker 6: This is interesting. Okay, you will explain to me why
Speaker 6: it happens.
Speaker 1: Well, yes, because I bet you don't. You don't touch
Speaker 1: the like the blue dot where the new message comes in.
Speaker 1: You just start writing in my mind, just.
Speaker 2: Like a rabbit, like an animal of some kind.
Speaker 6: Well, I just said to the you know, this is
Speaker 6: another sad thing.
Speaker 2: I know it seemed like I was going to hit
Speaker 2: that car, but I didn't know.
Speaker 6: You didn't carry on. I'm telling you. One thing that
Speaker 6: I know for a fact is that you guys are
Speaker 6: going south.
Speaker 1: It's not true. We're heading toward the mountains. Do you see?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Why would how even more wrong when I let it go? Well,
Speaker 6: that's right, because I see this restaurant. Guys, we're heading nord.
Speaker 1: What I hope is that when we get up to
Speaker 1: the Highland in Hollywood area, you triple down and once
Speaker 1: again and tell us for going sound.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm sure.
Speaker 2: I hope that after we're done recording and you're walking
Speaker 2: into your house, you would look back and you go,
Speaker 2: I don't know why we went south.
Speaker 1: We went out the whole way together.
Speaker 6: It makes sense if we don't. If I don't say,
Speaker 6: we'll do them when we do the other Wildlnes.
Speaker 2: Oh right, yeah, Well we do have to pick up
Speaker 2: a little room tone too. Yeah, I'll just do that.
Speaker 2: We'll just play it's a room tone. Oh, it's fun
Speaker 2: to do it.
Speaker 6: Are you have wacky sound effects.
Speaker 2: Whatever.
Speaker 6: Do you know what? You can get room tone? You
Speaker 6: can get that at any Andy Killers show, and a
Speaker 6: lot of people can't. What do you think here, here's
Speaker 6: the way I go into the regular materialize that I
Speaker 6: love that joke. That is a good lot of them.
Speaker 2: A lot of filmmakers come to my comedy Shoes shows
Speaker 2: just to pick up some room tone.
Speaker 6: Yeah you say that that's your joke.
Speaker 1: You're index cards and right.
Speaker 6: I want to, but then it'll take Maybe I could
Speaker 6: put it on a thing. Oh maybe I get my
Speaker 6: phone out and you know what I've been using a
Speaker 6: lot is uh and maybe the kids will like to
Speaker 6: hear this is I use the voice memo a lot.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, right, so like uh, And the thing is,
Speaker 6: people will say, listening to this, why isn't he just
Speaker 6: listen to the podcast. Let's not get crazy. You're okay.
Speaker 6: So here's what I do here. You go A lot
Speaker 6: of movie directors and producers, they come down to my
Speaker 6: comedy shows just to get room tone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I would just say directors, okay. Producers are
Speaker 2: rarely on set. They're usually the money. Yeah, it could
Speaker 2: just be a lot of a lot of camera no.
Speaker 6: To self, don't go with producers, stick with directors, and
Speaker 6: don't forget that Harvey Levin Gold.
Speaker 2: I'm a lawyer.
Speaker 6: I think we're going diagonally a diagonally.
Speaker 2: Why are we heading directly towards the beach? Karen? Now,
Speaker 2: I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: Just drive into the ocean, please, I know what I'm
Speaker 1: talking about.
Speaker 6: One for one block. Let's do the morning too. Uh
Speaker 6: sixty five degrees? And the Karen you were over at
Speaker 6: TJ Gribbers Like.
Speaker 2: When is she not?
Speaker 6: Was fart Wednesday? Not to be said.
Speaker 1: That's all the women on there are just always like
Speaker 1: these sad milk toasty like are you kidding me?
Speaker 2: Last night in sports?
Speaker 6: Oh she carriage offended.
Speaker 2: Oh you mean for a change.
Speaker 6: Yeah, she doesn't like when the jokes up the colon
Speaker 6: one thing.
Speaker 2: Here's here's what I don't get about women.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you give Karen assels for us.
Speaker 2: You give them, you give them their hand and they
Speaker 2: take all the fingers.
Speaker 6: That's exactly right. Why can't I say woobles all the rat? Sorry,
Speaker 6: glorious Steyne, you're on the rat.
Speaker 2: And that's what she would say, That's what women would say.
Speaker 6: She did not die.
Speaker 1: You know she didn't. But the woman on a morning
Speaker 1: Zoo show with the she died. Yeah, that's right. I'm
Speaker 1: going deep with my character subt.
Speaker 6: Yes, and I like it. But you know, a woman
Speaker 6: comic to get mad at me, I think, And here's
Speaker 6: what I think. It's hilarious to every time I introduce
Speaker 6: a woman comic To me, it's funny to say, are
Speaker 6: you ready for a lady now? Or change up?
Speaker 2: The end.
Speaker 6: Is annoying because now someone has to react to it.
Speaker 6: So I've decided to stop it. Are you agreed that
Speaker 6: I should stop it even though it's funny to me? No? Okay,
Speaker 6: screw that woman, not.
Speaker 1: Literally, because here's the thing, all the things that can
Speaker 1: happen to you as a female comic, that is the
Speaker 1: least bad of all of them.
Speaker 2: The worst version I've heard is, are you guys ready
Speaker 2: for a little estrogen? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, It all depends on how you're doing it. If
Speaker 1: you're doing it as a joke and people understand that, Oh.
Speaker 6: No, I'm not doing it, Karen. Do you really think
Speaker 6: I am going up there and say.
Speaker 1: No, I'm just making the point clear.
Speaker 6: Look, I don't know what's happening, you know, what I'm.
Speaker 1: Ovulated well, and also women are women who do it that?
Speaker 1: That was one of my favorite flyers. In San Francisco,
Speaker 1: there was a comedy team what the uh what was it?
Speaker 1: Called its No, No, it was all women and it
Speaker 1: was a play on something like estrogen. What the hell
Speaker 1: was it? Of course I forget it. Do you remember
Speaker 1: it was? Yes, it was something like that, and it
Speaker 1: was so terrible, and it was their fucking idea.
Speaker 6: Yeah. Oh yeah, because now because a lot of the
Speaker 6: young kids who listen, because I'm sure your your your
Speaker 6: demographic is the sweet spot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, fifteen, eleven, fifteen, it's.
Speaker 6: Younger now.
Speaker 1: All my people, it goes backwards, it goes south.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't want to leave at the two year old.
Speaker 6: But you remember the eighties comedy shows where everyone was
Speaker 6: named a woman of the night. Yes, that kind of thing.
Speaker 1: Yes, overreaction, thank you, I knew i'd remember it. It
Speaker 1: was called overreaction overy. I'm sorry I didn't hit that.
Speaker 6: That is a really good joke. That's a good All
Speaker 6: puns are funny.
Speaker 2: There's a pretty good show right now called Transparent, and
Speaker 2: I it was I was halfway through the siloight and
Speaker 2: I realized it's about a transgendered parent. I never get that,
Speaker 2: And isn't it great?
Speaker 6: Oh it's transparent. I wouldn't have gotten that in a million,
Speaker 6: just like I don't get that sweetheart sweethearts are a
Speaker 6: version of sweethearts?
Speaker 1: You mean the candy?
Speaker 6: Yes, the candy.
Speaker 2: Got there is a sweet tart?
Speaker 6: You know what.
Speaker 1: Turn this car around?
Speaker 2: We need to go south. Hey, this car around? And
Speaker 2: I swear to God, that's all news to me. I
Speaker 2: thought they were just sweethearts.
Speaker 6: I think I'm wrong. No, no, no, there's sweethearts, sweethearts.
Speaker 6: Maybe there were sweethearts too. I remember there's a big
Speaker 6: lawsuit in the candy industry.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, never did you get it?
Speaker 1: I would never, Yes, you would get it. But I
Speaker 1: knew the story beforehand. I knew that Jill's dad had
Speaker 1: become what transgender?
Speaker 6: Yeah? I don't know this. Yeah, yeah, unbelievable. We now
Speaker 6: noticed his dad or dad think about it.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure. I haven't seen the show.
Speaker 2: Wait, you know the actual people that show is based on.
Speaker 1: I know Jill Soloway and when that show they made
Speaker 1: that show and then it was the thing on Amazon
Speaker 1: got up voted so like that they made a pilot
Speaker 1: or something, and then it was like.
Speaker 6: Up voted, why are you distancing me with lingo?
Speaker 1: You get away voted?
Speaker 6: Okay, cool, that's cool. You're in dream is to get
Speaker 6: up voted. Here's the thing. If she was like Woody
Speaker 6: Allen or something and she says it's not based on
Speaker 6: my life, don't draw that conclusion. People say their stuff
Speaker 6: isn't based on their life. But now it's okay, what
Speaker 6: do I say that I say the joke, it's not
Speaker 6: even a joke, and I have to repeat it if
Speaker 6: you didn't hear it correctly.
Speaker 1: That's what I do.
Speaker 6: I thought I was to go for Woody Allen and
Speaker 6: get into the whole Woody on the I.
Speaker 1: Got real nervous that you were going to go straight too.
Speaker 6: No, no, I'm anti you just you really do like
Speaker 6: a morning super anti. People thinking that this was a joke,
Speaker 6: I said, was the quart of public opinions on the
Speaker 6: actual court and enraged me that people who had known
Speaker 6: nothing were all of a sudden saying he was guilty.
Speaker 6: Let's not get into this because I'll get into atheism,
Speaker 6: the angry atheist Jesus, and you'll throw you'll kick me
Speaker 6: out of the car.
Speaker 1: You're becoming the people that you hate. I said it
Speaker 1: to your.
Speaker 2: Face the hand.
Speaker 6: Why do you go the extra step.
Speaker 1: Because I'm dedicated to this podcast very.
Speaker 6: Matter of factly. Yep, of course, oh halfn't.
Speaker 1: I always run straight at you, Andy, from since nineteen
Speaker 1: ninety when I first met you.
Speaker 6: Coming straight at me for over twenty five.
Speaker 2: Years, with open arms, and it's in a nice way,
Speaker 2: like you're gonna hug him, right.
Speaker 6: No real shark, and yeah, she has sharp elbows.
Speaker 1: Andy. I met Andy when I was twenty years old.
Speaker 1: He was the first comedian I ever met, and I
Speaker 1: was so nervous to meet him. My friend Alicia Gonsalez
Speaker 1: was dating him at the time, and so she was like,
Speaker 1: I went to see him at the.
Speaker 6: Laugh laughs, unlimited sack, not the nice one. And we
Speaker 6: weren't on the way to Reds. We weren't driving up
Speaker 6: to Reds and he was meddling.
Speaker 1: For Steve Brunner.
Speaker 6: I don't remember that part. Oh, he would raise his jokes.
Speaker 6: He was gone.
Speaker 1: Told me that's what I needed to do to my
Speaker 1: set list. My jokes best first to least ten, and
Speaker 1: then I needed to put number one at number ten
Speaker 1: and number ten at number two and number eight at
Speaker 1: number three, and he gave me literally a mathematics card.
Speaker 2: Counter was he autistic? He was the who prioritizes jokes
Speaker 2: and then reorganizes them.
Speaker 6: I think thirty year road comic, right well, who decides
Speaker 6: whose thirty years are up? Who in God's name would
Speaker 6: say would want there to be jokes that weren't as funny?
Speaker 6: I could never think, like, well, they're all pretty funny,
Speaker 6: right well?
Speaker 1: Yeah, That's what I was thinking is I don't think
Speaker 1: I have a one, and I hope I don't have
Speaker 1: a ten. You know, I think that all fours and
Speaker 1: there's definitely some sevens when I'm working on them, or
Speaker 1: I'll just get.
Speaker 6: Them so it works. It works. You've already raised them
Speaker 6: right back me up on this, Chris, I already raided them.
Speaker 2: See we're making fun of him. But he helped youriiant man,
Speaker 2: and he helped me.
Speaker 1: More than Andy. But then the only thing Andy would
Speaker 1: tell me as help. And I was panicking because the
Speaker 1: first really big comedy said I did the third time
Speaker 1: I did stand up, I was in a contact.
Speaker 6: I can't even believe it was the third time. It
Speaker 6: looked like it was the fourth time. At that, No,
Speaker 6: you were so hilarious.
Speaker 1: But Andy, all, Andy, the only advice he would give
Speaker 1: me was stare at the back wall, like there's a
Speaker 1: clock on it.
Speaker 2: That's hilarious.
Speaker 1: The only thing you would say. And I looking at
Speaker 1: him like I knew there was something you could be
Speaker 1: telling me that would help me. And that's all he
Speaker 1: would say.
Speaker 6: That that was not my best working And my whole
Speaker 6: thing was I see this, I see this check coming
Speaker 6: up my backside. I'm sorry about that one. But yeah,
Speaker 6: I wanted to knock you out before you got good.
Speaker 6: You're really good, I see. Yeah, sappotized. I'm gonna sabotaze
Speaker 6: you guy.
Speaker 1: Listen, all, y'all, this is.
Speaker 6: You know. I oh, I don't know enough of them.
Speaker 6: But I love the idea of lacking the Beastie Boys
Speaker 6: because they were funny and I love them and I
Speaker 6: know nothing about them, not even one song. You got
Speaker 6: to fight the right to party.
Speaker 2: That's what I like the concept of enjoying them too.
Speaker 2: But I don't, in actuality enjoy the Beastie Boys.
Speaker 6: I don't. Oh no, you got to fight the right
Speaker 6: to party?
Speaker 2: Well, no, I do that also because people are always
Speaker 2: trying to shut my parties down.
Speaker 1: He doesn't need a song about it.
Speaker 6: He's living people. Oh, there's my agent.
Speaker 2: Guess what they're all rushing to do. You were gonna
Speaker 2: do it? Yeah, they're shutting down a party right now.
Speaker 6: Oh I'm sorry. There's the career police.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Oh, I'm sorry, he's over here.
Speaker 2: He already left the meeting.
Speaker 6: Oh I'm sorry, I left my defibrillator at home. Two more,
Speaker 6: I hope Dave Allan Gruger once heard this, but it's
Speaker 6: a different one. He went to see the Glenn Miller
Speaker 6: band and it wasn't the original members, but they actually
Speaker 6: do you know Steve Miller, Uh not Steve Miller, Glenn Miller,
Speaker 6: Len Miller.
Speaker 2: The old band leader, the orchestra.
Speaker 6: So he went to see the Glenn Miller band, but
Speaker 6: they weren't, and of course Glenn Miller disappeared. But then
Speaker 6: they weren't. Maybe they were in the original members or maybe.
Speaker 6: So they hear a plane overhead and the guy says, hope,
Speaker 6: that's one of ours.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, I don't get it.
Speaker 6: In other words, it was like it's World War two.
Speaker 2: Oh I see w W two.
Speaker 6: I tell a terrible story. I mean I got it.
Speaker 2: I understood it. I'm sorry from that story. Spoke to
Speaker 2: me like an old beastie boy.
Speaker 6: So, oh, you know, if the Maimie eisenhowerd joke isn't strong,
Speaker 6: you don't remember.
Speaker 1: The reference you bring lady Bird Johnson and I'm there.
Speaker 1: But any earlier than that, did.
Speaker 6: You say earlier? From Palm of Them? Now here's the
Speaker 6: thing about Karen. I was in love with Karen. I
Speaker 6: don't mean like romantically loved. I mean, of course I was.
Speaker 6: Who wouldn't be, I said I was in love. I
Speaker 6: think with every woman I've seen since nineteen.
Speaker 1: Eighty two, do comedy or just in general.
Speaker 6: General, in general, I love women. I have never not.
Speaker 6: It's like, oh that one's that one has, her hair
Speaker 6: is too long, forget about it. Just keep keep me
Speaker 6: not just a restraining order, keep me restrained. But I
Speaker 6: love count so much. And I remember every single time
Speaker 6: in the early days when we saw each other, because
Speaker 6: I remember her in the green room when she came
Speaker 6: in and she said, I know, Lisa Gomez, that's how nervous.
Speaker 6: I thought it was a bit that she was doing
Speaker 6: the nervous bit. It's just like this woman effects were hilarious,
Speaker 6: but you really were nervous.
Speaker 1: I was because I was doing stand up comedy, like
Speaker 1: I had just started a month before, and I was
Speaker 1: so thrilled that I was actually doing it.
Speaker 2: A month later. You had a paid gig.
Speaker 1: Okay, it wasn't paid. No, no, no, I wasn't opening.
Speaker 1: I just went to see him.
Speaker 2: No no, I thought it was you and flair down
Speaker 2: at the guy that why did he prioritize your jokes?
Speaker 6: Then?
Speaker 1: Oh no, because he came to the comedy contest. The
Speaker 1: comedy contest was in a little clok that we just
Speaker 1: did it on.
Speaker 6: I got you read our book about.
Speaker 1: The last of the Sacramento scene. But I was so
Speaker 1: excited to actually be doing stand up comedy because I
Speaker 1: wanted to do it since I was twelve. But in
Speaker 1: my mind I was like, you never will. And then
Speaker 1: when I flunked out of college, I was like, will,
Speaker 1: you might as well do it now because you're gonna
Speaker 1: tack to lose. And then I actually was, And then
Speaker 1: I was like, it was the first time I was
Speaker 1: in a comedy club in a green room, meeting a
Speaker 1: comedian that was a real professional comedian. It was like
Speaker 1: all my dreams were coming true right on the heels
Speaker 1: of everything falling apart.
Speaker 6: So I was just it was so funny. To me,
Speaker 6: it's so fun And the other thing is I other
Speaker 6: thing was, guys went to see you in an Antigony.
Speaker 6: You did it? Yes, I didn't know you saw that
Speaker 6: with Lisa.
Speaker 1: I that was my proudest, my starring role. I was
Speaker 1: Antigony in the play at my junior college. After I
Speaker 1: flunk out of college, I signed up for junior college.
Speaker 2: It's a play called n Kidaney.
Speaker 1: It's a Greek play called Antigny, and I was I
Speaker 1: got the league the Greeks, against all odds. I totally
Speaker 1: thought I didn't know any of these people. I auditioned,
Speaker 1: and I thought it was gonna be all the people
Speaker 1: got all the parts. You know, that's usually how theater
Speaker 1: departments work, is you know the person that's going to
Speaker 1: get the lead in this and Da da da. And
Speaker 1: my the person Kelly Weir who taught my acting class
Speaker 1: men names Bob Weir's relative. Somehow she cast me as
Speaker 1: the lead, which I never like had at my other college,
Speaker 1: had no chance of getting lead. I can't believe you
Speaker 1: saw that.
Speaker 6: I know it was so great and and but it
Speaker 6: was also like a different time, by the way, against
Speaker 6: all odds, I was up for the lead, and against
Speaker 6: all odds I wanted to ten minutes.
Speaker 2: Jeth Bridges has screwed me over. And now to hear
Speaker 2: that he screwed you over? Once?
Speaker 6: Is he? And that is it? James Woods, It's Bridges.
Speaker 2: James wants is not a handsome man?
Speaker 6: No, But is that with the Phil the Great Phil
Speaker 6: Collins song against all odds? Oh my god, everything he did.
Speaker 6: I love when he remakes like supreme songs. Yeah, because
Speaker 6: the supreme songs, you're like, Okay, this is okay, but
Speaker 6: went's Phil Collins Collins take but then and then they okay.
Speaker 6: So here's the other memorable things. Karen slept in my
Speaker 6: bed in her Mosa beach. You don't remember this.
Speaker 1: Either, I think I do.
Speaker 6: She got locked. But we were pals, we were, and
Speaker 6: I was I was a what if The more I
Speaker 6: say I was, if I say I was a gentleman,
Speaker 6: the more people are gonna dig in to see what happened? Right?
Speaker 6: And I was a complete gentleman. That's the guy.
Speaker 1: You don't want it like, you don't get into the bed.
Speaker 1: And while I was asleep, do you.
Speaker 6: Remember how small my apartment.
Speaker 1: Was it was was it a studio?
Speaker 6: It was half of a garage and her Mosa beach
Speaker 6: and you had lost your keys.
Speaker 1: Yes, I was a drunk.
Speaker 6: Oh, I didn't know was that I thought you were.
Speaker 6: I thought you just found me hilarious that night, that
Speaker 6: you were laughing so hard.
Speaker 1: But didn't you notice I access for eyes.
Speaker 6: Uh no, I wouldn't know, because uh you did say
Speaker 6: I wears a cowl. Yeah, could I come in that
Speaker 6: you're funny?
Speaker 2: Hiccup the word hiccup.
Speaker 6: And the thing is, we must not have been We
Speaker 6: weren't in the club. And it was probably a club
Speaker 6: in Hollywood or something like that. And she had a
Speaker 6: drive all the way to her most beach drunk to
Speaker 6: hear old man Kimdler talk about his future.
Speaker 1: I think that was the first time I saw you
Speaker 1: in running shorts.
Speaker 6: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Very upsetting because I didn't realize you were like.
Speaker 6: A marathon Yeah right, but I do have solid.
Speaker 1: Legs, you have a runner's legs. But it was a
Speaker 1: weird like I only ever pictured you, and you don't
Speaker 1: need to picture me that comedy clothes.
Speaker 2: I was given horrible legs. I'm just gonna throw that
Speaker 2: in there believe that I have tiny spindly legs.
Speaker 6: No calves, your jun hair now brow Yeah, I know
Speaker 6: see that we're talking.
Speaker 2: It was old timey. It was old timey. I'm in
Speaker 2: that show that you.
Speaker 1: Chris.
Speaker 2: I am everyone's grandfather.
Speaker 1: I told Chris his hair when we met up at
Speaker 1: the cafe. I said, you could get a part on
Speaker 1: Boardwalk Empire because your hair is as perfect thirty.
Speaker 2: And then I said, in an hour it turns more
Speaker 2: in pubic.
Speaker 6: Fro like and now tell me that tell me that
Speaker 6: same thing. I could say it to me that.
Speaker 1: Okay, Andy, your hair is so thirties. Ish you could
Speaker 1: get a part on Boardwalk Empire.
Speaker 6: I'd like to get any part at this point anywhere.
Speaker 1: Take it again, Andy, your hair so thirties?
Speaker 2: Is?
Speaker 6: I wish I even had enough money to go to
Speaker 6: a boardwalk at this point.
Speaker 1: You didn't even let me say a boardwalk.
Speaker 6: Take it from the other day, Take.
Speaker 1: Three and quite please?
Speaker 6: What's Karen? Do you have a question for me? It's
Speaker 6: like Byron Allen would do it. Karen, do you have
Speaker 6: a question for me? I understand you have a question.
Speaker 2: Understand we have a question about fish tanks for me?
Speaker 6: Yeah, is it true that you comics unleash but unable
Speaker 6: to get away from buyer the owl.
Speaker 2: Oh god, Andy can ask.
Speaker 1: You a question? Please do and Chris, you think about
Speaker 1: your answer.
Speaker 2: I might blurt out my answer.
Speaker 1: Okay, answer seriously tooever? Yeah, whoever answers first?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 1: Because it is October. Second, Halloween is just around the corner.
Speaker 1: What candy is your favorite Halloween candy?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 6: Thank god, I know what mine is. It is the
Speaker 6: ones that candy corn.
Speaker 1: Really, that's your favorite.
Speaker 6: I can sick to my stomach after about eight of them.
Speaker 2: That's cus they're made of candlebacks.
Speaker 6: But I also have fooled myself into thinking that the
Speaker 6: yellow part of the top tastes different than the orange
Speaker 6: part at the bottom, and it's terrible candy. But I
Speaker 6: love it. Oh and Sweethearts. That's not the ripe one.
Speaker 6: That's Thanksgiving. No, that's a Valentine's.
Speaker 2: What is the most famous Thanksgiving candymkinskin? How you say it?
Speaker 2: Turkey turkey mints a.
Speaker 6: Turkey mint.
Speaker 2: Drops?
Speaker 6: You know, when you're doing this podcast, I bet that
Speaker 6: people it'd be interesting to know if people can sense
Speaker 6: when everyone is looking at the lane next to you.
Speaker 6: It's like a little paws. Are we gonna die?
Speaker 2: Yeah? There is. There are awkward pauses, mostly because our
Speaker 2: lives are in danger. But so far you have no complaints, right, Andy,
Speaker 2: And this is so fun.
Speaker 6: I really think this is so good that it should
Speaker 6: be a show but on TV. But it won't because
Speaker 6: it's that good.
Speaker 2: Well, we had cameras on the car.
Speaker 6: No, no, I mean, what do I have to make
Speaker 6: it already? Is great? I don't know why this works
Speaker 6: so great.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I know I wouldn't say great it is.
Speaker 6: No, here's my pitch. Here's my pitch, why why you
Speaker 6: should do a show like this?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 6: No, because you're looking around and it's kind of like
Speaker 6: you're looking at the scenery and you're talking. So it's
Speaker 6: not like when you have the cans on, right.
Speaker 2: I don't like those cans, dude, Like when people put
Speaker 2: them on and there is a woman on the I
Speaker 2: like to say, look at the cans on that one.
Speaker 2: But then I after that, I ignore them. I'd like
Speaker 2: to take them off after that joke.
Speaker 6: I'd love to hear what you would say when a
Speaker 6: woman has her jug headphones on. I'm talking about they're
Speaker 6: made of jugs. Karen, you have to do? Is everything
Speaker 6: have to be code pink with you?
Speaker 1: That truly was an over reaction, overreaction and action. Here's
Speaker 1: my overason. I like this episode right now because we're
Speaker 1: actually on the one on one North in really terrible traffic.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and here's the thing.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 6: It's not as bad as everyone makes it to be.
Speaker 6: Who can't well because we're having fun?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 6: But is this really the worst thing in the world?
Speaker 2: Being more quiet this episode because I am filled with
Speaker 2: anger because of the traffic. Isn't that interesting?
Speaker 1: Is that true?
Speaker 2: I do talk last when I'm filled with road ray.
Speaker 6: That's not what it is, Chris. Nobody can get a
Speaker 6: word in edgewise if I'm in a car, if I'm
Speaker 6: a podcast, I have to stop, you know what I'm
Speaker 6: saying to myself and the count internally. Maybe that will
Speaker 6: stop hogging every damn.
Speaker 2: That may be the case, but I absolutely do not
Speaker 2: want you to stop talking.
Speaker 1: You know you can't no.
Speaker 6: What I have to stop saying, though, and IMMANI it,
Speaker 6: I have to stop saying this. I used to say
Speaker 6: twice a day that I won't Robin Williams the conversation
Speaker 6: and I had more Robin Williams jokes than Robin Williams
Speaker 6: did see you know what?
Speaker 1: So did everybody?
Speaker 6: Yeah, do you really did you make fun of Robin Williams?
Speaker 2: I think everyone did it well.
Speaker 1: I don't think I that wasn't really I don't know,
Speaker 1: he wasn't like, but I would definitely have disdain for
Speaker 1: like he was known as a thief for these different things.
Speaker 2: That's what we were all told.
Speaker 1: That was that was kind of like the hip approach.
Speaker 1: And the only thing is, like, you know, I understand that,
Speaker 1: like everyone said, you get to change your mind and
Speaker 1: you get to see that maybe you were making judgmental
Speaker 1: generalizations because whatever, that's all fine, But it's the people
Speaker 1: that were making fun of him before and the second
Speaker 1: he died, it's like, here's a link to my think
Speaker 1: piece on how much he meant in my life. It's like, wow,
Speaker 1: that's a total one eighty. You're just going ahead, You're
Speaker 1: just gonna go ahead and take publicly.
Speaker 6: I felt fine about retweeting things that people say, and
Speaker 6: it wasn't like I'm lying, you know. I felt sad
Speaker 6: about it because it was he died under such terrible,
Speaker 6: very sad sure, and I know, like some some friends
Speaker 6: who love him and all this kind of stuff. But
Speaker 6: so I but I would have been ridiculous if I
Speaker 6: had said anything, because it would have been phony.
Speaker 2: If it seem even the people that did say something,
Speaker 2: it was phony because it was just an opportunity for
Speaker 2: everyone to tell their joke or their story that involved
Speaker 2: them somehow interacting with Robin Williams. It like was a
Speaker 2: everyone showing off. That's that time that they had picture.
Speaker 6: The worst ones were when people would say something sad
Speaker 6: and then promote their gig that night.
Speaker 1: Did you really see that? I mean, the thing that made.
Speaker 2: Me thinking about you tonight in the main room at
Speaker 2: Flappers at thirty.
Speaker 6: Please vote for me on my blog about my Robin Williams.
Speaker 6: If I get the most hits, I get a free
Speaker 6: Derby series.
Speaker 2: So far I'm in the lead parentheses. Well, it is
Speaker 2: my blog.
Speaker 1: I guess I was just sad that he.
Speaker 6: What was that motion?
Speaker 1: Like that was Chris's sign that I need to shut
Speaker 1: my mouth. He doesn't.
Speaker 2: I do a little backhand flinch. She usually quivers a little,
Speaker 2: and then it's that's when I start talking.
Speaker 6: That's what happened with my ex wife. It works every time.
Speaker 6: Quivering a little, and that's when I start talking.
Speaker 2: Your first wife. Let's read stick.
Speaker 1: With the first one.
Speaker 6: Stick with the jokes. I love it on Twitter? Is
Speaker 6: your favorite thing on Twitter? When they say, why don't
Speaker 6: you just go back and do the funny joke? Stop?
Speaker 6: Stick to what you do best, be funny people do.
Speaker 2: I don't like those, Rando calriss Okay, I have to
Speaker 2: answer my wife's text. Go ahead, Oh yes, and I
Speaker 2: don't have to talk while you do that.
Speaker 6: We will do a thing between you two.
Speaker 1: So you keep going straight for a long time.
Speaker 6: Okay, not that long though, No, but it's up for debate.
Speaker 2: It's up for debate about how long for Right now,
Speaker 2: it's gonna be a long time. When we are getting
Speaker 2: near the exit, I want to give an in car period.
Speaker 6: I'm using the voice memo period.
Speaker 1: Oh, I get over so you don't get on that
Speaker 1: they think this is the one.
Speaker 2: Seventy things you're using. Siri didn't pick up what I
Speaker 2: just said.
Speaker 6: Nope. But then it makes it sounds crazy that my wife, Yeah,
Speaker 6: I'm sorry, know what we're gonna.
Speaker 1: Do, Chris. We just decided Chris is gonna give me
Speaker 1: the abusive hand signal. When when we're getting close.
Speaker 2: No, no, when we get close and you laying over
Speaker 2: and I don't know, tap me or mount the horn
Speaker 2: or something. Yeah, lay on the horn as me get closer,
Speaker 2: lay on the horn, no matter what I'm doing as
Speaker 2: the driver.
Speaker 6: Okay, well it'll be funny if we do uh, if
Speaker 6: we do this, we go. Yeah. I told you, don't
Speaker 6: tell them I live in I can't don't. I told
Speaker 6: you can't tell them I live in Wittier.
Speaker 1: What do your California?
Speaker 6: That joke always works, it does. Why are we all
Speaker 6: depressed now?
Speaker 1: And two seconds of silence doesn't mean?
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's my problem.
Speaker 2: You gotta let him on.
Speaker 6: That's my problem.
Speaker 1: The problem.
Speaker 2: You can't handle that air.
Speaker 6: I'm if I could put to put a button or
Speaker 6: a pin or stick a button or a pin in
Speaker 6: the Robin Williams thing, because I think we left it.
Speaker 6: Here's the thing. Yeah, what I feel about it is
Speaker 6: that I think, you know, I was always hesitant to
Speaker 6: say someone stole unless I was there. But there's so
Speaker 6: I have to say, there's so much information, and he
Speaker 6: did give out checks, and so I don't think it's
Speaker 6: really in dispute. Then it goes on too and of course,
Speaker 6: I never was a big fan of him commediately, but
Speaker 6: I did like his I thought he could act really
Speaker 6: well in certain things and the garp and other things.
Speaker 6: So then you have to say, can you judge someone
Speaker 6: the gar Can you judge someone completely based on the
Speaker 6: fact that you know they did this, they consistently did
Speaker 6: this one bad thing.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's to me, it's two different things because
Speaker 1: he was a comedian, but he was mostly an actor,
Speaker 1: because when he did comedy, it was just it was
Speaker 1: basically like one man improv and so he really was
Speaker 1: doing stuff off the top of his head. I understand.
Speaker 1: I know, I've heard all the stories about Jeremy Kramer
Speaker 1: and big chunks of stuff.
Speaker 6: He still Oh, why didn't hear that part?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean heh and Kramer were very close, and
Speaker 1: so a lot of his source material became stuff he
Speaker 1: saw Kramer do. But at the same time, you know,
Speaker 1: to me, it makes a difference that he gave out checks,
Speaker 1: because that means he was saying, I'm sorry, here's money, right,
Speaker 1: which is really at the bottom line, that's not stealing anymore.
Speaker 1: That's like paying someone for their stuff. Although I understand
Speaker 1: that that's like it's almost like you're writing for him involuntarily.
Speaker 1: It doesn't work that way, but at least he was
Speaker 1: compensating people, which a lot of people don't do. They
Speaker 1: just blatantly steal, and stealing happens a lot in stand
Speaker 1: up as we all know.
Speaker 6: It definitely happens, you know. I think of your point,
Speaker 6: and the further point I wanted to say was like,
Speaker 6: I actually believe, and it's hard to It's not like
Speaker 6: the harp for me, he says, but I actually believe
Speaker 6: that he was undeniably a sweet person, you know what
Speaker 6: I mean? Yeah, so many people felt this way that,
Speaker 6: and I think it's hard because I grew up. I'm
Speaker 6: very judgmental, yes, as everyone knows, and I feel very
Speaker 6: guilty if I like, say, I, well, I don't think
Speaker 6: anything about Jay Leno could do. I could take positively,
Speaker 6: But if someone I don't like does something like good,
Speaker 6: then I always feel like, oh, I feel bad about it.
Speaker 6: But the truth is his life's both ways. Someone has
Speaker 6: many different facets of their personality.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah.
Speaker 1: People are very complex, and I think we came up
Speaker 1: in a time in you two, Chris, before the internet
Speaker 1: comedy was very competitive and mean, it was there was
Speaker 1: a lot of bullying. There was a lot of like
Speaker 1: telling people that they're face stuff. There was a lot.
Speaker 1: It was hard.
Speaker 2: It was I used to turn the mic.
Speaker 6: I used to go suck. I used to it used
Speaker 6: to disturb me what happened in the Velveta room when
Speaker 6: I first went there, I said, this is really cruel.
Speaker 6: They kickle each other.
Speaker 2: Wow, that's where I started. I mean, and that's so
Speaker 2: it's not that way.
Speaker 6: At the time.
Speaker 2: I did like it. At the time, I was angry, uh,
Speaker 2: and I wanted to like. Uh. I confront a lot
Speaker 2: of people. I didn't like it, I guess, but I
Speaker 2: think you were right not to like it. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I was getting mad a lot. But then once they
Speaker 2: realized I would get mad, they're like, okay, let's not
Speaker 2: do it to him anymore. He might hit us and
Speaker 2: my statue. I'm very intimidating. I pushed a door open
Speaker 2: on carry On once and hit him with the door,
Speaker 2: and I feel bad about carry On. His name was
Speaker 2: carry On. He did a character called Ronnie Velveta, and
Speaker 2: that's what the club was named after him.
Speaker 6: Maybe he should They should have pushed a door on
Speaker 6: just for that of Ronnievedo. We never did that. We
Speaker 6: never did that, but I want to ask, and that's
Speaker 6: go off this topic with Karen. I always felt that
Speaker 6: we were part of this, like you know, almost like
Speaker 6: I mean, I hate to even say it, but like
Speaker 6: a historical movement, you know what I mean with the
Speaker 6: Mister Show, all these people. Yeah, I always felt that
Speaker 6: everybody else was on the inside and I was the
Speaker 6: only one who was an outsider. But now I think
Speaker 6: everyone felt it was a clickish exactly.
Speaker 1: No, I think that that's a very I think that's
Speaker 1: kind of standard human experience, is right, no matter where
Speaker 1: you are, you feel like you don't belong and you
Speaker 1: feel like there's the group is elsewhere and you need
Speaker 1: to get there, and then people will come and tell
Speaker 1: you like, oh, you were this or that. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's very It surprises me to this day. I knew
Speaker 1: that I was in the midst of a lot of people,
Speaker 1: but you're constantly comparing yourself to other people, so of
Speaker 1: course you are never the one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's always ever. It's been interesting to hear your
Speaker 2: stories about those times because I would consider you to
Speaker 2: be someone that was totally in that group, and your
Speaker 2: stories are yeah, that you felt like an outsider at times, right, I.
Speaker 1: Mean everybody does. I think that's just common.
Speaker 2: But I also think to me, I always it was
Speaker 2: very popular in school, homecoming, Prince sure athletic. You were
Speaker 2: just touch problem with girls and.
Speaker 6: From them.
Speaker 2: It's weird because I'm doing a combination of sarcasm. People
Speaker 2: did like me, but I wasn't athletic socause I saw
Speaker 2: you in.
Speaker 6: Like the old timey bathing suit.
Speaker 1: I hear some pyramids with.
Speaker 2: People and then boxing with my fingers towards my face,
Speaker 2: and a lot of it was like I'm young George
Speaker 2: Atlas without the muscles.
Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, well you're a very lucky man.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 6: Well, most are the things I never knew that about you,
Speaker 6: And I didn't know about you kicking sand and everyone
Speaker 6: even when you were at the beach.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing. It was never on purpose, never on purpose.
Speaker 2: I was just I did a lot of jogging on
Speaker 2: the beach and I didn't see there's people laying there.
Speaker 1: It was more of an awareness.
Speaker 2: I should have been more conscious of the fact that
Speaker 2: my feet were covered with sand and I was wildly
Speaker 2: kicked than towards people's faces.
Speaker 6: Now, I was anything. I think you don't say any names.
Speaker 6: But you don't know you went too far? No, no,
Speaker 6: but you I wanted to say. I want to say, now,
Speaker 6: can you see that the next thing? You want to
Speaker 6: get the next thing?
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Oh, I'll get off in the next thing.
Speaker 6: Yeah, tell any about it.
Speaker 2: If we have to go to that, definitely come back.
Speaker 6: Because we're directly into the sun.
Speaker 2: I definitely need to get off the most direct we.
Speaker 1: Are driving into the sun. We are definitely not going.
Speaker 2: So is there we are going? There's something going on
Speaker 2: with the earth? Is this connected with the water mine?
Speaker 6: And I'm saying you may go to puppers? You do,
Speaker 6: you can get up. You actually could get off for
Speaker 6: the next one.
Speaker 2: I want to do it.
Speaker 6: No, you could get off for the next one after
Speaker 6: if you miss it. Okay, because right was such a
Speaker 6: great convels. He does definitely want to say about Karen. No, Okay,
Speaker 6: here's the note. And I really mean this honestly, But
Speaker 6: I would say I would say it about you like
Speaker 6: I would say it about a lot of people. I mean,
Speaker 6: not like Okay, there are people like David Cross who
Speaker 6: you really thought would punch you in the face the
Speaker 6: next second. You know what I mean, Because he's he
Speaker 6: could be moody and stuff like that, or he could
Speaker 6: be the sweetest guy in the world.
Speaker 2: I never saw that version.
Speaker 6: But carry on, Oh you only saw the mean guy.
Speaker 6: All right now, stay here, don't worry about you missed
Speaker 6: the thing. Don't worry about it. Go to the next thing.
Speaker 2: Okay, Sorry, I really and then make a left, I think,
Speaker 2: because that's just a line with no words to do it.
Speaker 1: It flips around, just taking He's so irritating, and I
Speaker 1: thought I was the only one with the sun directly
Speaker 1: in my eyes. And then that's why I just freaked out,
Speaker 1: because all the lights went red on the back of
Speaker 1: these cars and I was like, he's as blind as
Speaker 1: I am. I want it's a dangerous situation.
Speaker 6: I've gotten better as I've gotten older of not panicking
Speaker 6: because what's and I'm not saying I'm perfect at it,
Speaker 6: but why would you want to panic when you're all
Speaker 6: that's happening is you're going one more exits. I'm just
Speaker 6: saying to the kids today, Yes, don't get an offender better.
Speaker 6: But here's what I want to say about Karen. Karen,
Speaker 6: is you are and what's what makes you hilarious? And
Speaker 6: what makes people love you. Is you have a tremendous
Speaker 6: amount of charisma in the right sense of the word.
Speaker 6: I'm not saying you don't, Chris. I'm just saying I
Speaker 6: came up with. I mean, even the fact I say
Speaker 6: I'm not saying you don't, it's a negative towards you.
Speaker 6: Why would I bring it up? Look, Chris, what you
Speaker 6: do is you're not as sexy is Karen? To me?
Speaker 2: At least, it's just right now. I'm just involved with
Speaker 2: the driving thing. Otherwise I'd be showing, I'd be puffing up,
Speaker 2: I'd be turning everyone proven it. Yeah, the world over.
Speaker 2: I'm having an anxiety about this driving.
Speaker 6: Thing, so I would be overly concerned with what Karen
Speaker 6: thought about me. But I'm just bringing you up as
Speaker 6: of one of eight or nine or ten people. I'm
Speaker 6: the only twenty people in that group.
Speaker 2: I'm the only one in the well Lord, did.
Speaker 6: You feel the same way though, Karen about those other people?
Speaker 6: Or is my my insecurity is different?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, no, I was very very insecure.
Speaker 2: My main.
Speaker 1: I was drunk all the time, as I will say
Speaker 1: a thousand times. Until nineteen ninety seven, I was just
Speaker 1: always drunk, and my thing was I loved I h
Speaker 1: I think the only people I worried about and I
Speaker 1: didn't understand that that's what was happening. Was I worried
Speaker 1: about David Cross and I worried about Doug Benson. Those
Speaker 1: were the two people that always seem to not like me,
Speaker 1: and so they were the people when I was writing,
Speaker 1: I would think, will this make them laugh? Which I
Speaker 1: actually think at the end of the day made me
Speaker 1: write funnier stuff because I was trying to hold myself
Speaker 1: to a standard that was I mean, David, you know,
Speaker 1: David is a tough customer, but I did have great
Speaker 1: times with him and we were friends, and he could
Speaker 1: actually be really fun when he was kind of like
Speaker 1: relaxed and in a.
Speaker 6: Good mood and very sweet and very sweet.
Speaker 1: But then he also could be super bitchy and mean.
Speaker 2: And say a girlfriend of mine crying once.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean he he, you know, he was that way.
Speaker 1: But this was like in the nineties. That was kind
Speaker 1: of how it got done.
Speaker 6: Sometimes I didn't feel like I ever overtly was I mean,
Speaker 6: I think I offended people or whatever, but I wasn't
Speaker 6: like I'm going to be mean.
Speaker 1: No, No, you were sweet.
Speaker 6: Are the problems. But here's the thing. I'll give example
Speaker 6: of David crosspul Davis. Once I went and this is perfect.
Speaker 6: I think shows who how we're all weird, But he
Speaker 6: was weird this way. He was wearing shorts, right, So
Speaker 6: I go and I go, hey, what are you the
Speaker 6: shorts guy? And he says, no, no, I happen to
Speaker 6: wear shorts right. And now he could say have heard
Speaker 6: that and just took it as a bit. But occasionally
Speaker 6: he didn't take it as a bit.
Speaker 1: No, he was actually and this is true, you can.
Speaker 6: Make you could make a left here if you don't say.
Speaker 1: The street. He was very very sensitive. And and I
Speaker 1: find as I get old, as they become more decrepit.
Speaker 1: That's that's a truth. If you find people that seem
Speaker 1: really harsh or judgmental or meaner, that intimidate you, those
Speaker 1: are actually the people that are the softest on the inside.
Speaker 1: They're they're putting on a show. And I was exactly
Speaker 1: the same way. I was a bully and I loved
Speaker 1: to be a bully. That was like that made me
Speaker 1: feel so much better because I was so insanely insecure
Speaker 1: and really filled with self loathing. So anytime I could
Speaker 1: turn it on somebody else, I would do it in
Speaker 1: a heartbeat. I was a gossip and a bully because
Speaker 1: because it made me feel better.
Speaker 6: Well, it's interesting, I thought it did. I never knew
Speaker 6: any about this stuff until I heard you talk on
Speaker 6: Mark Maron show, which I had all for the first
Speaker 6: time I heard all this stuff. But the interesting thing
Speaker 6: I think about it is like I think that I
Speaker 6: put too much like in my I think I'm better
Speaker 6: at it, way better at it. Now you just keep
Speaker 6: going straight, but you're way better. But I was unfair
Speaker 6: to people because I wanted you. I'm saying you as
Speaker 6: an example. I wanted you to like me so much.
Speaker 6: So let's say you did get this way. I had
Speaker 6: to make you a bad person. That was just things
Speaker 6: that you were going through. And so it is really
Speaker 6: my insecurity to have to have everybody around me be
Speaker 6: perfect towards me all the time exactly.
Speaker 1: You know, exactly, And that's that kind of uh, that
Speaker 1: kind of need of other people's approval. Like when I
Speaker 1: first got into therapy and my therapy kind of explained
Speaker 1: like that's the thing that we're gonna try to work on,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm sorry, what are the options like
Speaker 1: it was like, how do you not need everybody's approval?
Speaker 1: And how do you not like because I kind of
Speaker 1: in my mind put it as like I was striving
Speaker 1: towards something. I was using their disapproval as a way
Speaker 1: to get better instead of seeing how the damage it did.
Speaker 1: And also because I was projecting their disapproval, Doug Benson
Speaker 1: doesn't give two shits about me.
Speaker 6: I know that for a fact.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure I don't think he's a fan
Speaker 1: of mine, but I also know that he never spent
Speaker 1: a lot of time thinking about me. We were friends
Speaker 1: for a while, but it wasn't you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: I was projecting so much stuff onto him because I
Speaker 1: needed to.
Speaker 6: Well, I also had many times and I don't really care.
Speaker 6: I've had many things over the years, disappointing confrontations with him,
Speaker 6: So I yeah, but that part doesn't have to be said.
Speaker 6: I mean, although I was perfectly happy to bring it up,
Speaker 6: I felt like, I mean, and the way.
Speaker 2: But it's tu word fighting about which Twilight move much better.
Speaker 1: There's two goths fighting in the street. What a perfect
Speaker 1: symbol of what we're talking about right now.
Speaker 6: But you know the thing is, but that again, it's
Speaker 6: the thing about uh now, no, no, you guys, do whatever
Speaker 6: you want. I'm up here in the right. You can
Speaker 6: go around the corner. Do you feel like you've got
Speaker 6: with Yeah, let's keep driving, all right, So let's driving around.
Speaker 2: The corner the time. But now I sound like a party.
Speaker 6: I'll show you where it is for when you want to.
Speaker 6: It's not this one, this mansion. Not this mansion. It's
Speaker 6: the one with the lawn jockeys. It's just one yeah, yeah, okay,
Speaker 6: So we can go around the block. You want to
Speaker 6: go around the block, or just like, oh your stay
Speaker 6: stop whatever you want to do. The truth is is
Speaker 6: that again even that's like I've also had great times
Speaker 6: with Doug bed Center. I've hung around, so that's also
Speaker 6: another thing that's my could be my problem to But
Speaker 6: the other thing I've learned about that I feel like
Speaker 6: I'm better as a person. But I notice the only
Speaker 6: the healthier thing now is I notice, like about a
Speaker 6: week into where I'm into a thing where I'm making
Speaker 6: sure I'm okay with everybody. Yeah, and just being aware
Speaker 6: of it makes me stop doing it.
Speaker 1: Yes, right, that's all you can do really, But I
Speaker 1: mean in comedy it's hard, because who who do you
Speaker 1: want to love you and respect you more than fellow comedians.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've that's always been Michael Is to make comics
Speaker 2: laugh too. It turns out it doesn't pay the bills. No,
Speaker 2: are you sure you don't live there beautifully color?
Speaker 6: Well, I do, No, I own that place. I read
Speaker 6: that own. Oh right, here's the thing too, and I
Speaker 6: get serious, which a lot of people feel like I
Speaker 6: am during my act. But pause, you'll put the leaf.
Speaker 6: Here's the problem with comedy, you like to me comics
Speaker 6: who I always couldn't stand when comics would not acknowledge
Speaker 6: when they weren't doing well, or if a joke didn't
Speaker 6: get a reaction. And I think I go too far,
Speaker 6: Like I think if the crowd isn't like spitting up
Speaker 6: blood or double very Yeah. But the truth is, you
Speaker 6: don't do commedy in a vacuum. You want the You're
Speaker 6: doing it for other people, So it's natural to want
Speaker 6: to get the you know, it's great to get the left,
Speaker 6: but it's but it really is. It's like your achilles here,
Speaker 6: Like I think my strengths are my achilles here. Like
Speaker 6: I comment on everything, and I noticed that when like
Speaker 6: it's an achilles here. I can't stop commenting on it,
Speaker 6: you know. And it's the same thing with wanting people
Speaker 6: to like you or wanting to entertain people. Yes, that's
Speaker 6: part of the gig, but when you do it in
Speaker 6: life all the time, it's just exhausting. And that it
Speaker 6: comes from my family upbringing. You know. It's like I
Speaker 6: have to make sure I'm okay with everybody.
Speaker 2: It's impossible, yes, to please everybody.
Speaker 1: But I also think it isn't that kind of a
Speaker 1: comedian's personality.
Speaker 6: Yes, really, but some people more than others, you think.
Speaker 1: Probably yes, because there's some some people who clearly don't
Speaker 1: have any attachment to other people's opinions, or if they do,
Speaker 1: they're very good at hiding it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you could say that's my couch. By the way, You're.
Speaker 2: Needs to be real polster, but I think, yeah, it's
Speaker 2: just a nice shape. I just wish that I could
Speaker 2: put the enjoyment of the audience before the other comics.
Speaker 6: That's what I know. That's interesting you said, because it
Speaker 6: is really true that that is again the greatest thing
Speaker 6: when you get it. But that's the one that will
Speaker 6: get you, especially if I've become fit like friends with
Speaker 6: someone who's like I always loved and I meet them,
Speaker 6: then it's like I up the I think about them
Speaker 6: responding to my tweets.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and then you're writing to people.
Speaker 2: I obsess about Twitter response things. So it is individual
Speaker 2: for me, and that's the problem I should be thinking about,
Speaker 2: how do you make a thousand people happy?
Speaker 6: I think you should take the clicker off? Was even
Speaker 6: if this, why should it end with clickers out?
Speaker 2: It helps with the timing. When I do editing, I
Speaker 2: time it with the click.
Speaker 1: Oh, we edit, we remix it and it becomes a
Speaker 1: dance song for Belgium.
Speaker 6: I like the way for Belgium at night, they just
Speaker 6: keep going, taking it acid.
Speaker 1: You taught me that one with an attitude like Elvis
Speaker 1: from Hell. I really was trained by that.
Speaker 2: Woman thinks that dog is a human.
Speaker 1: That's amazing, you guys. If you could only see this
Speaker 1: dog in a baby stroller, that was so upsetting. I
Speaker 1: thought it was a child with a little white wig on.
Speaker 6: It was so disgusting that was a little person in
Speaker 6: that And you guys hate people who look like dogs.
Speaker 1: She actually her baby is Jojo the dog Face.
Speaker 2: Boy about him in the National Inquirer it's real.
Speaker 1: That's one of the best references of all time. Jojo
Speaker 1: the dog Face Boy.
Speaker 6: Why, I'm not gonna use it, but it would we go,
Speaker 6: what's what's this guy's problem? What do you Jojo the
Speaker 6: dog Face Boy? You can use it is a check an.
Speaker 1: It was a guy from It was a boy from
Speaker 1: like the eighteen hundreds. That hair grew all over his face.
Speaker 2: Oh I remember, So he had a.
Speaker 1: Person underneath, but then like long dog hair. He look
Speaker 1: like a little dog. And it's a disease that happens
Speaker 1: sometimes where people their full face gets like long hair
Speaker 1: on it. But then they make lots of money in
Speaker 1: the circus. So let's be positive.
Speaker 6: Remember you remember Bob Worley, he had a great brother. No,
Speaker 6: we had a great joke. I think it was his joke.
Speaker 6: He goes, whatever happened to the elephant mat? He made
Speaker 6: that one movie And then I love jokes like that.
Speaker 6: You also had a joke that I never realized till
Speaker 6: he said it about toys when you were a kid.
Speaker 6: You go, it's think it's slink he uh. It was like,
Speaker 6: that's how I felt about it was a terrible toy.
Speaker 1: It's fun for the first time it's slink.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's it. Well, kids, how do you wrap up
Speaker 6: these things? Now? First of all, how long have we done?
Speaker 2: We have a little Uh, it's we're perfect. We're on time.
Speaker 2: We go about an hour. We've done an hour nine minutes.
Speaker 2: That's a that's a decent.
Speaker 6: Did you do all your segments though? Don't you have
Speaker 6: segments during morning?
Speaker 2: We did morning too, that's something we did. You took
Speaker 2: the lead on that, which was amazing because you didn't
Speaker 2: even know that we did that. We didn't know the traffic.
Speaker 2: An EMPI very good with.
Speaker 6: Polish call in and they guess how many lanes you're on?
Speaker 6: You know something?
Speaker 2: Where is my car phone? Oh?
Speaker 1: If we can, if we can only do call in, watch.
Speaker 2: I love pulling out visual gags for the podcast podcast.
Speaker 6: Well, that's why car top never did well on the radio.
Speaker 6: Holding a tennis racket with a toaster.
Speaker 1: You should see how big this hammer is?
Speaker 2: Hey, what is this Michael Jackson's bicycle?
Speaker 6: You're the first person to go two three four? And
Speaker 6: I was the first person. If I stumbled vocally, I
Speaker 6: would hold my upper teeth and go Never order them
Speaker 6: through the mail. That was an actual comedian's joke. In
Speaker 6: the fifties.
Speaker 1: That's awesome.
Speaker 2: I love that. Why do I like that a lot?
Speaker 6: Never order them through the mail. I do want to.
Speaker 6: I want to thank the people over at filling the
Speaker 6: name of the sponsor. I also want to say I
Speaker 6: want that you guys, because you were so nice to me,
Speaker 6: what with my busy I can't again, I can't say
Speaker 6: what I did, but it was big time. It was
Speaker 6: a big time.
Speaker 2: I'm we're very excited about what you may or may
Speaker 2: not have in development.
Speaker 1: And we hope you're We're the first podcast that you
Speaker 1: come on on your uh PR tour all the one time.
Speaker 6: It's so great that that face that you gave, but
Speaker 6: never be done in a club where you gave a
Speaker 6: face like you do people can see you.
Speaker 2: But it's like, I'm losing it. Well, I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 2: gonna be the one to wrap this up to be funny.
Speaker 2: Right then I put on a condom.
Speaker 6: I don't know about that. I'm sorry, that's not what
Speaker 6: you know. Somethings are inappropriate and that's you far.
Speaker 2: Let's wrap it up and deserves okay, but it's been
Speaker 2: a good thank you for having.
Speaker 6: This is despressing. It's like every other time in my life. Oh,
Speaker 6: once you get out of the car, Now.
Speaker 1: Do you need a tip plug anything? Are you gonna?
Speaker 6: Yes? I do out? This drops is like a break
Speaker 6: it or something. Doesn't get what you're saying. Well, I'm
Speaker 6: going to be at t J. Cranberry's, I'm gonna be
Speaker 6: at McFunny, Mick or Gutbusters. I'm gonna be at Tickle
Speaker 6: Me rib Tickle mc ribs.
Speaker 1: Tickle Me Ribs.
Speaker 6: Why can't I think of anything that I'm doing? I
Speaker 6: was on guard, I was that's not a goodlug.
Speaker 1: It's a remember plug.
Speaker 2: If you have a d v R might still be
Speaker 2: sitting there.
Speaker 6: Get my new album? I got nothing.
Speaker 2: That's not no.
Speaker 6: I do have ano album coming up, but it's so
Speaker 6: depressing because I should have had it out by now.
Speaker 2: What are you calling it?
Speaker 6: It's called it's gonna be called hence the humor, and
Speaker 6: it should be in Janet. It should have been in December.
Speaker 6: It's probably January February. And my joke about it is
Speaker 6: it's available on vinyl for those people who don't want
Speaker 6: to listen to it. Do you get it?
Speaker 2: Well? Because I don't have a vinyl, I get it.
Speaker 2: I'm with you. I'm with you there.
Speaker 6: You have the don't I tell you have an appointment
Speaker 6: or a set at you have a set at the
Speaker 6: lab factory.
Speaker 2: It's at an appointment. That's a very serious dental appointment.
Speaker 6: All right, I'm leaving the carcase.
Speaker 2: How do you?
Speaker 6: How do you leave the car?
Speaker 1: I know right, that's so true.
Speaker 6: Please don't send that tweet. Not tweet the text out.
Speaker 1: Andy, I don't. I barely read it when he said
Speaker 1: it the first time. I don't give a ship if
Speaker 1: my name's not in it, I don't care.
Speaker 6: The funniest thing is the the idea that I'm obsessed
Speaker 6: like all the times, like, oh she's you couldn't care
Speaker 6: gimmed it the first time.
Speaker 1: I most of the time when you talk about it,
Speaker 1: I don't really know what you're talking about.
Speaker 6: Well, I said, I called my wife my little poop.
Speaker 1: That's not my business.
Speaker 6: And I said, are you my muffin head, my muff
Speaker 6: and head? Yes, you are my muffinhead.
Speaker 1: You have to stay here for the sign off.
Speaker 2: Okay, you've been listening to d Y n A R.
Speaker 1: That was I lead you way bad.
Speaker 4: Either way, we want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 4: much baggage you claim. Give us time and a turn
Speaker 4: and al and gay. We want to send you off inside.
Speaker 4: Do you want to welcome you back home?
Speaker 1: Tell us all about every scared or was it fine? Malborn?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need.
Speaker 2: With Karen and Cress
Speaker 1: M