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Speaker 1: I'm gonna save the listeners from what you just said

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Speaker 1: to me. But it's not Friday morning, especially before your

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Speaker 1: coffee kind of information. Yeah, that was some pts. How

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Speaker 1: you doing, chips? All right? How are you? Um? I'm

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Speaker 1: actually really good today. I've had a really good week.

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Speaker 1: I actually I was surprised that you said you were good.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel good? I feel all right? Do you

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Speaker 1: want to tell the listeners what's been happening this week? Well?

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Speaker 1: I had to put a dog down yesterday. Yeah. I've

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Speaker 1: had two dogs and one of them has been sick

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Speaker 1: for a while and it was just a pretty rapid

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Speaker 1: decline and yesterday she was just ready and it sucked. Um.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's there's a a lot of relief because

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Speaker 1: she's not suffering anymore. I don't have to worry about her. Um,

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Speaker 1: and you know, she we both fought really hard, and

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Speaker 1: there's if I could have paid a bill jillion dollars

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Speaker 1: to keep her alive forever, I would have, but nothing

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Speaker 1: is going to make that happen. So yeah, it was

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Speaker 1: just not how I wanted my day to start yesterday,

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Speaker 1: but it was kind of had to be decisive about it.

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Speaker 1: And it's you know, we were talking a little bit earlier.

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Speaker 1: Like the weirdest part is that you feel like you're

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Speaker 1: playing god and like to like be the one who

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Speaker 1: asked to be, Like, Okay, now is the moment, Today

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Speaker 1: is the day, and it just it feels really um

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Speaker 1: final and um. But you know it only gets worse

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Speaker 1: from that moment. So I, um, like what made you

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Speaker 1: cross the or like what was the line that you

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Speaker 1: were like this is it was? She didn't she wouldn't

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Speaker 1: need her breakfast and um, she could barely walk. Her

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Speaker 1: back legs were like wet spaghetti. Look. I mean, you

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Speaker 1: know she'd have moments, but like she was just a

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Speaker 1: shell of what she was. I could see it in

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Speaker 1: her eyes, like she was gone. She was like I'm

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Speaker 1: out of here like um. And you know they're instinctually

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Speaker 1: as animals, like they try not to show pain, they

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Speaker 1: try not to show fear because in the you know,

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Speaker 1: in the wild, you get killed when you look weak.

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Speaker 1: So I thought about that, you know, they don't. They

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Speaker 1: are she's literally fighting to stay alive because she's scared

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Speaker 1: of like that's it's a fight or flight thing for them.

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Speaker 1: And like she doesn't she doesn't want to be killed.

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Speaker 1: You know in an animalistic sense. Um, So she's trying

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Speaker 1: to like put on her game face and it's just you,

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Speaker 1: I just knew. It was like like nothing left to give,

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Speaker 1: and it was she was only holding on for me,

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Speaker 1: you know, So it wasn't it would have been unfair

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Speaker 1: for me to like not make that decision. But it's hard.

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Speaker 1: Like I got on my computer, I'm like, how do

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Speaker 1: you know when it's the right time, and it's just

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Speaker 1: they you just you just know now. And I told myself, um,

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Speaker 1: that I wasn't going to put her through like the

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Speaker 1: same crazy surgeries that my other dog had to go through,

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Speaker 1: and I was just gonna let the stuff play out.

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Speaker 1: And the moment that she told me she was ready

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Speaker 1: was when I would just the call. And it sucks.

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Speaker 1: I knew the day would come. So it was funny.

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Speaker 1: I have a client was actually staying at my house

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Speaker 1: and she got iced in um, and I said to her,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I just have to get back to it,

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Speaker 1: like I have to go to work, I have to like,

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Speaker 1: and she was like, oh my god, I'd be on

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Speaker 1: a puddle in a puddle on the floor for two weeks.

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Speaker 1: Like She's like, I can't believe how you can move

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Speaker 1: that way. And she's like, I respect it. It's just

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Speaker 1: we're cut from a different cloth, you know. And then

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'll have my moments, but I was

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Speaker 1: able because I saw it coming. I was able to

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Speaker 1: really prepare. Yeah, and this is the second time you've

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Speaker 1: done it, kind of recently in the last few years.

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Speaker 1: So and when I was doing my research yesterday about

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Speaker 1: doing it, one of the things that it does get

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Speaker 1: easier every time. Um, So, you know, not that I

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Speaker 1: wanted to be something that's easy because it the fact

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Speaker 1: that it hurts means that they're I really loved that dog,

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Speaker 1: you know. Of course it's just a part of your

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Speaker 1: family too. It's a part of your everyday life. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my house is really because I do have another dog

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Speaker 1: and he's starting the sense that it's wait, where is she?

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Speaker 1: Like definitely, like my house is really quiet because she

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Speaker 1: was the barkier one, and that's weird. But I'm, you know,

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Speaker 1: getting on a plane tomorrow for a wedding, so I

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Speaker 1: have that distraction. I get to go be with some

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Speaker 1: friends and like kind of forget about what was going on.

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Speaker 1: And he's at daycare now because he's got to be

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Speaker 1: watched all weekends, so he's playing. So I'm hoping that

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Speaker 1: like the timing is actually like kind of good, good

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Speaker 1: little transition. Yeah makes sense. Um, well, we're sending you

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Speaker 1: our love. Thank you speaking for me and the listeners

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Speaker 1: because I'm assuming everyone listening would feel that way, and

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Speaker 1: you do seem peaceful today, which means to me, like

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Speaker 1: it was the right decision because I think and I

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Speaker 1: think you know that, like it's I don't know, I

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Speaker 1: can tell even if you're sad, you're content, Like that

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Speaker 1: was the right decision, right, Yeah, I mean it's there.

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Speaker 1: There was, like I said, there was some relief and

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Speaker 1: like the last night was she couldn't sleep, I couldn't sleep,

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Speaker 1: So it was just that's no way to live for

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Speaker 1: of us. Yeah, well hugs from us, virtual hugs listeners?

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Speaker 1: Is that virtual? Though? What is this? Air? Hugs and light? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there you go. Well, it's February officially, so we're moving

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Speaker 1: into a new topic and it's typically the month of

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Speaker 1: love February. I was like thinking through that because every

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Speaker 1: other year if I've done a blog or podcast theme

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Speaker 1: in the month of February, it has something to do

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Speaker 1: with love. Right, That's just what we've been marketed, and

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Speaker 1: I couldn't do it this year. I was like, and

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Speaker 1: not because I hate love or I'm bitter towards love

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Speaker 1: or anything like that. I just it felt um dance

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Speaker 1: a little bit like I was like, we should expand,

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Speaker 1: we should get bigger here, we should like what else there?

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Speaker 1: There's just more? And I had marvel On earlier this

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Speaker 1: week and we kind of talked about that a little bit,

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Speaker 1: like I've been getting um finding myself frustrated in conversation aations.

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Speaker 1: I was telling him about these like younger girls that

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Speaker 1: I know and they're just in that stage of being

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Speaker 1: boy crazy, and I think I told you the story.

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Speaker 1: I like lectured them like the fucking mother a couple

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Speaker 1: of weeks ago, because I was like, you guys, like

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Speaker 1: you have the whole world in front of you, and

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Speaker 1: like I'm seeing you guys have these opportunities for these

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Speaker 1: huge careers and like go throw yourself into your own

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Speaker 1: life and getting to know yourself. And but I'm saying

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Speaker 1: that as a forty year old who's obviously like done

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Speaker 1: exactly what they did, and I'm just like, and I couldn't,

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Speaker 1: I could not or would not ever go back and

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Speaker 1: rewrite my story any differently. It happened exactly as it should,

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Speaker 1: but I just spent so much time focusing on finding

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Speaker 1: the right relationship as the like thing that was going

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Speaker 1: to make my life complete, I guess, you know, and

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Speaker 1: I think that that's kind of what our culture spends

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Speaker 1: and I'm just seeing it so clearly now, and even

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Speaker 1: like people asking me about like my dating life or whatever,

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Speaker 1: and I'm just like, there's nothing to report, Like I

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Speaker 1: just don't really feel like this. It's not good or bad,

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Speaker 1: it's just there. And realizing then how much people kind

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Speaker 1: of go huh, like it's almost like they don't know

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Speaker 1: how to interpret that, which is strange anyway. So having that,

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Speaker 1: you know, dialogue with myself and Marv and it just

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Speaker 1: got to me and I was like, this is actually

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Speaker 1: the month that we should focus on something different, like expanding,

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Speaker 1: like expansion in general, expanding our minds, expanding our hearts.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's like diving deeper into a relationship if you're

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Speaker 1: in a relationship, or I mean, it could mean so

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Speaker 1: many things. So you and I talked and we decided

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Speaker 1: that the word this month would be expand Yes, And

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Speaker 1: you know what's funny, is even hearing you say it, Like,

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Speaker 1: expanding does take love, you know, it's just a different

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Speaker 1: it's a different type of love. It's a different conversation.

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Speaker 1: It's not that we're not talking about chocolates and roses, right,

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Speaker 1: We're talking about self love, love for others, love for curiosity,

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Speaker 1: love for the world. That kind of off is how

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Speaker 1: you expand. And I think it's you know, it takes

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Speaker 1: some level of love to even like create the curiosity

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Speaker 1: to like step outside of yourself for a second and grow. Well,

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Speaker 1: think about when you're in a relationship for a really

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Speaker 1: long time. Like there's a certain level of love we

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Speaker 1: can get to at the beginning of a relationship, right,

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Speaker 1: but there's also like a lot of infatuation mixed into

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Speaker 1: that or like excitement or lust or you know, all

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Speaker 1: the fun, exciting feelings. And then as time goes by

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Speaker 1: and you get to know the person more, it's like

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Speaker 1: you either kind of fall out of that in general,

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Speaker 1: or you have this opportunity to like go even deeper

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Speaker 1: into an intimacy that you could never have at the beginning.

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Speaker 1: And that's expanding. And so it's just like sometimes I

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Speaker 1: think we get to going in our lives and we

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Speaker 1: get comfortable. Like I think challenging any sort of change

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Speaker 1: is always scary and notice for me, and I think

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Speaker 1: it's really it's really easy to want to just cling

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Speaker 1: to the familiar, like what we know. It's like a

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Speaker 1: security blanket of us, you know, Yeah, I mean, I

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Speaker 1: I think, look, obviously I just had to overcome holding

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Speaker 1: onto something like I loved and was a constant in

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Speaker 1: my life. And part of that view was like what

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Speaker 1: is life going to be like without her? Like the

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Speaker 1: change of the day to day change. Um but you know,

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Speaker 1: and obviously that is an extreme example of change, change that,

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Speaker 1: by the way, was truly beyond my control. Um so.

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Speaker 1: But I also think it's really important that like when

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Speaker 1: we are expanding and we're challenging ourselves and we lean

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Speaker 1: into the fear of something new or whatever, like it's

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Speaker 1: we have to remember how exciting it is when like

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Speaker 1: you do something new, and like if it can be

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Speaker 1: as simple it's like I want to learn to play guitar,

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Speaker 1: and then you play the first song all the way through,

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Speaker 1: after like hours and hours and hours of trying and failing,

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Speaker 1: and then you forget that it was scary and now

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Speaker 1: you're excited and it's still the same kind of feeling

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Speaker 1: other side of it. So, you know, it's like there's

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Speaker 1: so many things I don't do because I hate being

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Speaker 1: bad at things. Like I'm like, I'm not going to

193
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Speaker 1: play that sport because I'm not gonna be good at it,

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Speaker 1: or I don't want to play that card game because

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Speaker 1: I don't know how to play it, and then I

196
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Speaker 1: fucking win the first game, you know, Like so, but

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Speaker 1: you know I'm also just a card shark, but that right,

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Speaker 1: not at all. Yeah, it's always didn't see that coming,

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Speaker 1: but you know it's I think that's why it's important,

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Speaker 1: like we have to remember the good feelings of expanding

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Speaker 1: because it's so easy to like let the fear stop us. Yeah. Well,

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Speaker 1: I think, like we talked about this often, but maybe

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Speaker 1: that is something that like a positive that came from

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Speaker 1: the pandemic. I know we all talk about like things

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Speaker 1: are never going to be normal again, but maybe that

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Speaker 1: was good for us in the way of like we

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Speaker 1: can't just go back to what's familiar because nothing is

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Speaker 1: the way it used to be. Like I don't care

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Speaker 1: what you try to say, nothing is in my experience,

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Speaker 1: something is, at least us a little bit different about

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Speaker 1: every single scenario in my life, And as uncomfortable as

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Speaker 1: that has made me, it's really also challenged me to

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Speaker 1: kind of open back up because I had gotten into

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Speaker 1: not a rut in a way that I was down

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Speaker 1: about it. But you just they're doing and you're not thinking,

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Speaker 1: and you're not growing and you're not evolving in that way,

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Speaker 1: and so when everything gets shaken up, it's sort of

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Speaker 1: like gives you this opportunity to look at things there

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Speaker 1: are different lens And that's all I mean by expansion.

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Speaker 1: Like we're going to have a bunch of guests on

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Speaker 1: this month who aren't necessarily all like exactly in alignment

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Speaker 1: with what I think or who I am or anything

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Speaker 1: like that, but they're really fucking fascinating to me. Like

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Speaker 1: I just think it's so interesting to talk to people

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Speaker 1: outside of my little world and get a whole different perspective,

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Speaker 1: but then also to realize how similar they are in

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Speaker 1: so many ways, like how we're all actually still really

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Speaker 1: connected and like have a lot in common, or their

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Speaker 1: life journey gives them the same kind of experience that

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Speaker 1: my minded, that they went through it in a whole

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Speaker 1: different kind of way. Well, how boring would the world

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Speaker 1: be if we were all on the same exact journey,

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Speaker 1: it wouldn't be. But don't you think we try to

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Speaker 1: make it that way? Are we? We think that we

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Speaker 1: go for comfort or we're told that it needs to

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Speaker 1: be this way. I mean, look, we are all in

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Speaker 1: theory on the same journey. We're here to find love,

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Speaker 1: we're here to procreate, we're here for all of these

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Speaker 1: each other homes um. But it doesn't have to be

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Speaker 1: the same path for everybody. And I can't be. It

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Speaker 1: can't be. It can't be. We try to force it.

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Speaker 1: Society tries to force it um, and then we get

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Speaker 1: down on ourselves because we think we're not doing things

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Speaker 1: the right way. And truly there is no there is

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Speaker 1: no right way. No. To me, it's like if you're

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Speaker 1: on a journey and you're growing and expanding, and like

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Speaker 1: looking at life through are different lens consistently, like you're

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Speaker 1: challenging yourself or looking at things you did that didn't

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Speaker 1: work out or didn't feel good or you didn't need

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Speaker 1: someone right, and you'd change from that, Like what is what?

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Speaker 1: I don't know what else life is about? To me,

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Speaker 1: that's it and it's all it's going to be like

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Speaker 1: that for the rest of our lives, you know. So

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Speaker 1: it's not like there's ever this mark that you meet

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Speaker 1: where you're like, well, I've made it. But that's what

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Speaker 1: we're conditioned to think, or that's what I was conditioned

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Speaker 1: to think my whole life. Like I mean, it's I'm

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Speaker 1: going to paraphrase these things, but like there's always those

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Speaker 1: like memes and stuff that say things like, um, when

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Speaker 1: you're looking at something that's really challenging, remember the last

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Speaker 1: hardest day of your life, and on the other side

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Speaker 1: of it, and it's really easy. Like what is it

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Speaker 1: about society and our conditioning that our go to is fear?

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Speaker 1: And I'm not like it's a negative And it's so

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Speaker 1: easy to forget all the challenges that we've overcome. And

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Speaker 1: like in theory, you would think that because we have

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Speaker 1: walked through those things, we would be able, like every

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Speaker 1: day would actually get easier because you've learned that you

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Speaker 1: can do it, But we forget it so fast. I

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Speaker 1: think we're It's that thing you've said before, the two

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Speaker 1: were so pain adverse. So anytime, like I think our

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Speaker 1: brain it's kind of what I was talking about with

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Speaker 1: that brain therapy last week. Like our brain really does

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Speaker 1: kind of shift itself to avoid pain, and so unless

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Speaker 1: we do the work to kind of heal it and

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Speaker 1: be like, hey, no, it's okay, you can do it,

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Speaker 1: like exactly what you're saying. You survived, Look at you,

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Speaker 1: You're still here. Keep going down that path, we go

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Speaker 1: the round around that like pothole and um yeah. But

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Speaker 1: and I think it's really brave to keep like showing

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Speaker 1: up and being like, okay, what else. But I also

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Speaker 1: at the same time, I don't know how else to

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Speaker 1: live anymore, you know what I mean? Like, I think

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Speaker 1: it's just I read this quote. I was reading an

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Speaker 1: article in Forbes about expansion, and this is a quote

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Speaker 1: from Gandhi and it says, as human beings are, greatness

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Speaker 1: lies not so much in being able to remake the

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Speaker 1: world as it is as in being able to remake ourselves.

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Speaker 1: You could tie this into music, actually, like think about

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Speaker 1: people like Madonna are people who have been around for decades.

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Speaker 1: The way they survive and have such long lasting careers

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Speaker 1: is they constantly are remaking themselves into a new version

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Speaker 1: of the same person, but the evolved version the same

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Speaker 1: record every time. You can't I mean, my girl Beyonce,

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Speaker 1: like she's in a fucking renaissance right now. She's living

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Speaker 1: in her goddess energy. I know. She just she just

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Speaker 1: announced a tour and like on pins and needles. Of

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Speaker 1: course I've subscribed for like I'm gonna be the crazy

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Speaker 1: person on Ticketmaster for this ship, I know. But anyway,

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Speaker 1: it's it's that, you know, you see it in all

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Speaker 1: these these other industries too, and I'm just like, oh wait,

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Speaker 1: like we can be doing this in our day to

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Speaker 1: day life and in some new way, like just expanding

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Speaker 1: your mind. I think this could help a lot of

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Speaker 1: issues that we faced, even politically, Like just expand your

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Speaker 1: mind to look at the other side and hear what

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Speaker 1: they're saying versus just trying to fight immediately. So much

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Speaker 1: easier just to have an opinion, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: Like just and that's look a lot of Yeah, you're

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Speaker 1: entitled to it, but it is it is always wiser

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Speaker 1: to have an informed opinion, and sometimes that means having

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Speaker 1: to listen to the other side and at least consider it,

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Speaker 1: you know. Um. And I you know, I'm not coming

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Speaker 1: down on anybody because I could be better at that too.

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Speaker 1: We're all good, please, I mean We've done a lot

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Speaker 1: of things that I'm like, oh, ship, well I should

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Speaker 1: have known more about. I'm going to show the receipts

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Speaker 1: are gonna be like, well remember that time, Yes, which

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Speaker 1: I do. Okay, I want to say, but you expanding,

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Speaker 1: see how that works. I'm gonna read this this last

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Speaker 1: little paragraph from that Forbes article. I'll link it also

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Speaker 1: in the description of this podcast, and it says, when

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Speaker 1: you make the choice to let life have you, to

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Speaker 1: go with the flow, to allow your desires and to

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Speaker 1: upright rather than resist your own expansion, you open the

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Speaker 1: door to the new version of yourself that is waiting

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Speaker 1: to be revealed. Your greatest self is not something that

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Speaker 1: needs to be created. It's not something you need to

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Speaker 1: strive for. It's simply something that you acknowledge and claim

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Speaker 1: for yourself. Your greatest self already exists within you, and

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Speaker 1: it's just waiting to be discovered. A good support system

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Speaker 1: will show you how to access this. In that article

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Speaker 1: they talk about the thing that is the key to

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Speaker 1: living an expanded life is having a good support system

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Speaker 1: to allow you to grow or to remind you of

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Speaker 1: the Sometimes I think we can't see our greatness, you know,

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Speaker 1: like like we have a really good friend system that

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Speaker 1: all friend system is that support system within our friend

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Speaker 1: group that will be like, no, you're amazing at this,

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Speaker 1: and like we can't always see ourselves through that lens,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I think that's really important. Or we

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Speaker 1: also have friends that call us out, and I think

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Speaker 1: sometimes that's important too, because um, you know, we all

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Speaker 1: get in our own way. Yeah, and sometimes you have

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Speaker 1: to hear the things that you don't want to hear

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Speaker 1: to trigger the like response that is like oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I have been doing that or whatever. Um. And it's

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Speaker 1: also like to be able to call somebody and say

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Speaker 1: I'm fucking scared, like you know, Mary Hilliard was. I

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Speaker 1: woke up and I sent our text I have to

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Speaker 1: put maybe down today and she called me immediately and

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Speaker 1: I was like I don't know what to do, you know,

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Speaker 1: and it's like it was scary, and um, you know,

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Speaker 1: you we all we have to have that sort of

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Speaker 1: sort of support system. I think it's really the only

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Speaker 1: way to grow. And you know, you look at people

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Speaker 1: that are stunted, and a lot of times it's you

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Speaker 1: look at the home that they grew up and they

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Speaker 1: weren't loved and supported and I mean it's truly like

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Speaker 1: your body cannot grow without those things, Like you can

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Speaker 1: be physically disabled by the lack of touch as a baby,

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Speaker 1: and so it's I mean, it's it's a physical, it's

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Speaker 1: a metaphysical, it's an emotional support system that I think

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Speaker 1: we have to like do our best to find the

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Speaker 1: people that will support us because otherwise it's impossible to grow. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I agree with you. Well, this month is going to

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Speaker 1: be all about expansion in whatever capacity that serves you,

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Speaker 1: but we will bring you some I haven't really excited

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Speaker 1: about the interviews this month. There's some really interesting ones.

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Speaker 1: Chip and I had a really interesting one today, um

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Speaker 1: that you guys will definitely know what we're talking about. Um,

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Speaker 1: but it'll be coming up all this month on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: You can always email us at the Edge at Velvet's

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Speaker 1: Edge dot com. You can hit me up on Instagram

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Speaker 1: at Velvet's Edge, Chip at Chip doorshos P d O

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Speaker 1: R S C eight and as you guys are living

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Speaker 1: on the Edge, Wait, I just had a brain ane

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Speaker 1: to the weekend incident. Oh it's been so good. You know,

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Speaker 1: I always get too cocky though. As you guys got

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Speaker 1: into the weekends and you're living on the edge. I

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Speaker 1: hope you always remember to casual. Bye. H