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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's bringing you the musical collab

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Speaker 1: you never knew you wanted ya featuring Nickelback.

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Speaker 2: Wow, he can say where the road.

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Speaker 1: Actually works for.

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Speaker 2: Canada is gonna go crazy?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, get your limited time CD now with Laser Stories,

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Speaker 1: the segment where we read weird news stories around the globe,

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Speaker 1: just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser

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Speaker 1: and those other krogerphobes. Just this first laser story is

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Speaker 1: out of New York. This doesn't happen often, but a

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Speaker 1: District County judge was actually called to be on jury duty.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know that even happened.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you would think they've done their community.

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Speaker 2: Yes, they don't have to do that. So he showed

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Speaker 2: up and his name is Richard T. Snyder.

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Speaker 1: In transcripts, he told the courts he is currently a judge,

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Speaker 1: but he could not be impartial, saying.

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Speaker 2: Quote his whole job to be part.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he said, I know everybody that comes in front

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Speaker 1: of me is guilty. What they would not be here

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Speaker 1: if they were innocent duty and the other judges are like, dude,

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Speaker 1: you're not supposed to say the quiet part out loud. Yeah, well,

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Speaker 1: naturally he got dismissed from the case, but the judge

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Speaker 1: who heard it reported him to state official. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: when a judicial commission interviewed him, Richard doubled down, saying

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Speaker 1: his interpretation of innocent until proven guilty is that guilty

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Speaker 1: people get brought to court to make it official and

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Speaker 1: get sentenced.

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Speaker 2: That's the backwards that's awful.

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Speaker 1: At all. So in the end, he did successfully get

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Speaker 1: out of his jury duty, and he also successfully.

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Speaker 2: Got himself out of a job.

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Speaker 1: Because after his comments he was forced to resign and

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Speaker 1: agree to never serve as a judge again.

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Speaker 2: A state official said, hopefully he.

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Speaker 1: Didn't come up with that argument just to get out

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Speaker 1: of jury duty, because it lost him a whole lot

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Speaker 1: more than that.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, it's gonna be an NFL rap.

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Speaker 1: Next he's like, hey, can I take that jury duty

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Speaker 1: job as it pays a little bit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: Next laser story is out of our favorite place for

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Speaker 1: laser stories, Florida. The other day, the Forest Service noticed

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Speaker 1: smoke coming from an area of trees and a slow

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Speaker 1: summering fire in grasses a nearby brush. The blaze seemed

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Speaker 1: to keep getting bigger, larger than a normal campfire, so

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Speaker 1: they set out fire crews to extinguish it, which they did,

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Speaker 1: and that's when they found a man wandering around nearby

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Speaker 1: named Justin Sorky, who immediately admitted to setting the fires.

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Speaker 2: Hey, nobody got tampany. That was an easy investigation. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: he said, it's okay.

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Speaker 1: As a sovereign citizen, I'm allowed to do controlled burns

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Speaker 1: in this area. I'm my own president, so I say.

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Speaker 2: What goes easy. Yeah, even the FBI.

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Speaker 1: Sovereign citizens are anti government extremists who believe that even

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Speaker 1: though they physically reside in this country, they are separate

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Speaker 1: from the United States, so they don't have to follow

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Speaker 1: the rules. Yeah, but they still use emergency services. And

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Speaker 1: not surprisingly, his response didn't fly. As he was cuffed,

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Speaker 1: Justin told officers he couldn't be taken to jail at

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Speaker 1: the moment because he still needed to do half a

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Speaker 1: dozen more controlled burns. Does he have his own army

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Speaker 1: Maybe that could help him get out of jail. He's

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Speaker 1: been indicted for committing felony arson on federal property and

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Speaker 1: a court date has not been set yet. Oh man, wow,

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Speaker 1: This next lazer story is out of the Czech Republics.

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Speaker 1: Government officials have been working for seven years on installing

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Speaker 1: a new dam to help restore water to a large

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Speaker 1: nature park.

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Speaker 2: In the area.

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Speaker 1: But just like our country, there was a hold up

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Speaker 1: permits construction contracts and the government had to come up

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Speaker 1: with one point two million.

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Speaker 2: Dollars for the project.

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Speaker 1: Right, So it took a while, but they were finally

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Speaker 1: ready and the government sent out a few surveyors right

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Speaker 1: before construction was ready to begin, and they were shocked

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Speaker 1: to find that the dam had already been built.

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Speaker 2: Wait what did someone not talk to someone else?

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Speaker 1: It was all thanks to the area's local beavers. Shockingly,

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Speaker 1: the Rodents had built a dam in the exact same

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Speaker 1: location planned by the government to help each other too,

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Speaker 1: and the head of the nature reserve administration could not

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Speaker 1: believe their luck. The beavers had just saved them one

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Speaker 1: point two million dollars in construction and it was much

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Speaker 1: less of an eyesore than what officials had been planned.

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Speaker 2: This is a natural day, right, that is arazy. Let's

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Speaker 2: vote for beavers from now. Yeah, little construction happens.

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Speaker 1: He added that the Rodents built the dams without any

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Speaker 1: project documentation and for free, and no word on how

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Speaker 1: they can hire them for their next development.

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Speaker 2: The rumor is they might unionize. First care you know,

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Speaker 2: someone's like, okay, so where are the hydraulic pumps located?

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Speaker 1: His next laser story is out of Big game headquarters.

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Speaker 1: Philadelphia Eagles have one thousand, six hundred and ninety reasons

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Speaker 1: to feel confident going into this Sunday Super Bowl game

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Speaker 1: because that is the exact number for how much their

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Speaker 1: offensive line weighs. Their rosters so huge, the men are

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Speaker 1: setting a new record for the largest lineup of men.

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Speaker 2: The game has ever seen.

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Speaker 1: My goodness, the five starters boast an average of six

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Speaker 1: foot six in height and a weight of three hundred

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Speaker 1: and thirty eight pounds. And if you put them all

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Speaker 1: on the scale together, they weigh sixteen hundred and ninety lbs.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, imagine going to dinner with those guys.

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Speaker 2: Do not offer to pick up the bill. Yeah, that

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Speaker 2: is a good point. That is a very good point.

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Speaker 1: Stuff like this is then I can drop it at

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Speaker 1: any Super Bowl party.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, look out knowledgeable. Yeah, was like the cool

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Speaker 2: chick who everyone weighs.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that that's over an inch taller, more than twenty

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Speaker 1: five pounds heavier than Kansas City's offensive line. Also eight

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Speaker 1: pounds heavier than any other offensive line in.

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Speaker 2: Super Bowl history.

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Speaker 1: Right guard Mackay Becton alone sets that six foot seven.

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Speaker 1: He weighs three hundred and sixty three pounds, and that's

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Speaker 1: only after he slimmed down this summer, previously on the

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Speaker 1: scales at four hundred. Dude, Jalen probably yells at him, like,

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Speaker 1: y'all have no excuse to not block for me.

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Speaker 2: Yet, biggest men just don't move.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, So McKai has three nicknames due to his size,

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Speaker 1: Big Ticket, Highway seventy seven and Mount Beckton. Oh, he

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Speaker 1: just goes to show you sometimes bigger can be better oday,

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Speaker 1: and that's exactly what this guy believes. He just won

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Speaker 1: an award at a local film festival for his big

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Speaker 1: performance in a.

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Speaker 2: New movie called Shell Deep. More than just a Nike flings.

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Speaker 2: That means Laser Story. I was crying the whole time.

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Speaker 2: Laser stories has come to it. End of the day.

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Speaker 2: We'll do it again, same time on Monday. Brooke and

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Speaker 2: Jeffrey in the morning