1
00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:03,840
Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

2
00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:07,320
Speaker 1: advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more, please

3
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:12,959
Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter too. Stevehavey FM dot com and

4
00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:15,840
Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

5
00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:18,360
Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read

6
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:23,200
Speaker 1: this one right here, right now, could be yours. Buck

7
00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:24,840
Speaker 1: it up and hold on tight. We got it for

8
00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:25,280
Speaker 1: you here.

9
00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:26,840
Speaker 2: It is a Strawberry Letter.

10
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:30,680
Speaker 1: Thank you, no you subjects. Is this considered cheating or not?

11
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:34,480
Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I've been in a relationship for four

12
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:38,280
Speaker 1: years and my boyfriend and I lived three hours apart.

13
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:42,159
Speaker 1: We've always been in a long distance relationship and I

14
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:47,960
Speaker 1: thought everything was fine until recently. He started talking about

15
00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:50,839
Speaker 1: marriage after we dated two years, and he said he

16
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,559
Speaker 1: would gladly move to Philly to be with me. I

17
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,840
Speaker 1: got all excited about marriage, and I started preparing myself

18
00:00:56,880 --> 00:01:00,320
Speaker 1: emotionally and financially to be with him for the of

19
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,880
Speaker 1: my life. Then last year he started saying that the

20
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,680
Speaker 1: distance was killing him and sometimes he just wanted to

21
00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,679
Speaker 1: lie next to me and hold me until he goes

22
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:13,039
Speaker 1: to sleep, but he can't because I live so far away.

23
00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:15,840
Speaker 1: I thought that he would go ahead and propose, but

24
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,759
Speaker 1: he hasn't. I started visiting him more, but he made

25
00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,800
Speaker 1: excuses when it was time to come see me a

26
00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:25,280
Speaker 1: few times. I didn't want us to grow apart, so

27
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:28,600
Speaker 1: I did whatever I could to keep the sparks flying

28
00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:33,400
Speaker 1: in the bedroom. I was visiting him one weekend and

29
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,080
Speaker 1: there was a towel on the back seat and I

30
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,800
Speaker 1: needed to put groceries in the car. I picked up

31
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:43,160
Speaker 1: the towel and it was It was crusty and stiff,

32
00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:46,040
Speaker 1: and I am no fool, so I know what it

33
00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:49,960
Speaker 1: looked like. I thought it was incredibly tacky of him

34
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,200
Speaker 1: to leave it in the car, and no matter what

35
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:55,760
Speaker 1: that substance was on it. I asked him about it,

36
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:59,240
Speaker 1: and he confirmed my thoughts. He said he went out

37
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,560
Speaker 1: a week or so before before I got there, and

38
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,960
Speaker 1: a female friend of his helped him out orally. He

39
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,720
Speaker 1: said he didn't return the favor to her, but she

40
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:12,240
Speaker 1: willingly did him. He said it's not like he cheated,

41
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:15,679
Speaker 1: and it helped him out because he missed making love

42
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:19,400
Speaker 1: to me. I was livid, and all he kept saying

43
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:23,200
Speaker 1: was he did this for us, and it's not cheating.

44
00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,760
Speaker 1: I have needs too, But I've never had a quick

45
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,560
Speaker 1: hookup with my male friend. Is this cheating or not?

46
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:35,320
Speaker 1: Should I break up with him? Yes? Come on, this

47
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,800
Speaker 1: is really cheating. Did he actually fix his mouth to

48
00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:41,880
Speaker 1: say he did this for us? For the both of you?

49
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:47,720
Speaker 1: If it has the word sex in it, it's cheating. Okay,

50
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:51,040
Speaker 1: it is cheating. But I don't understand this relationship anyway,

51
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,960
Speaker 1: I really don't. You're doing everything and I thought you

52
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,440
Speaker 1: guys were getting married. What happened to all of that?

53
00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,480
Speaker 1: I thought he was moving to Philly? What happened? And

54
00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:04,120
Speaker 1: what's taking so long? He has no plans to move.

55
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,359
Speaker 1: He doesn't even talk about it anymore. You didn't even

56
00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:10,200
Speaker 1: say if he's packing, if he hasn't move in date,

57
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:13,440
Speaker 1: none of that. And you know, if a person is serious,

58
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:18,480
Speaker 1: he would certainly have proposed to you by now, where's

59
00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,720
Speaker 1: your ring? He didn't put a ring on it. And

60
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:24,440
Speaker 1: of course the distance is a factor. That's why many

61
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:27,840
Speaker 1: times long distance relationships don't work out. I mean, what

62
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:31,720
Speaker 1: happens when you're apart, stuff like this happens. A woman

63
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:34,360
Speaker 1: in your case, in his case, can come in and

64
00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:37,600
Speaker 1: help him out, orally, as he says. You know when

65
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,600
Speaker 1: you're a part. You don't know what he's doing, but

66
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,800
Speaker 1: I guess you do know what he's doing now, And

67
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,520
Speaker 1: you wouldn't have known anything if his stupid behind didn't

68
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:49,920
Speaker 1: leave that nasty, old, crusty towel ew in the backseat

69
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:54,360
Speaker 1: of his car. How convenient, by the way, even after

70
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:57,080
Speaker 1: four years, he still hasn't moved. He's playing with you,

71
00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,880
Speaker 1: and he's playing you, and now the trust has gone

72
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:03,560
Speaker 1: on your part. So I say to you, go ahead

73
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,560
Speaker 1: and free yourself. Free yourself so you can get with

74
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:09,120
Speaker 1: a new man in your same city.

75
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:15,800
Speaker 2: All right, Steve, I cannot believe what I just read.

76
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:18,320
Speaker 2: I just can't.

77
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:20,120
Speaker 1: It's crazy.

78
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:24,440
Speaker 2: This don't make no damn sense. Okay, lady, you've been

79
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,960
Speaker 2: in a relationship for years. Y'all lived three hours apart,

80
00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:32,200
Speaker 2: always been along this relationship. You dated two years and

81
00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:36,720
Speaker 2: finally he started talking about marriage. He gladly moved to Philly.

82
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:40,360
Speaker 2: You started preparing yourself emotionally, financially, be with the rest

83
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,960
Speaker 2: of your life. Near last year, he started saying that

84
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:47,520
Speaker 2: the distance was killing him and sometimes he can't. He

85
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,440
Speaker 2: just wanted to lie next to you and hold me

86
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:54,360
Speaker 2: till he go to sleep YadA YadA, YadA, YadA. I

87
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,560
Speaker 2: thought he'd go ahead and proposed, but he ain't. I

88
00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,960
Speaker 2: started visiting morning. He made excuse me when it's time

89
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,800
Speaker 2: to come see me a few times. I didn't want

90
00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:04,520
Speaker 2: us to grow apart, so I did whatever I could

91
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,159
Speaker 2: do to keep sparks flying in the bedroom. That means

92
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:12,719
Speaker 2: she was in there doing monkey flips. Plus this gymnasy

93
00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:18,240
Speaker 2: equipment in here. I was visiting him one weekend and

94
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,440
Speaker 2: that was a tie. Here's what the letter I need

95
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,560
Speaker 2: to come in on. I was visiting him one weekend.

96
00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:28,560
Speaker 2: That was a towel on the back seat. I needed

97
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:32,000
Speaker 2: to put groceries in the car. I picked up the

98
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:38,200
Speaker 2: tie and it was crusty and stiff. I'm no fool.

99
00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:40,760
Speaker 2: I know what it looked like. I thought it was

100
00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:43,360
Speaker 2: tacky of him leave it in the car, no matter

101
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:46,040
Speaker 2: what that substance was on it. I asked him about it,

102
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:52,400
Speaker 2: and he confirmed my thoughts. Wait a minute, here's a

103
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,719
Speaker 2: woman who says, I picked up the tie, it was

104
00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,560
Speaker 2: crusty and stiff. I ain't no food, so I know

105
00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:01,159
Speaker 2: what it looked like. Thought I was attacking him leaving

106
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:04,800
Speaker 2: it in a car, no matter what the substance was

107
00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:08,200
Speaker 2: on it. I asked him about it, and he confirmed

108
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:13,240
Speaker 2: my thoughts. That was too much doubt what it looked

109
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:18,280
Speaker 2: like what I thought it was, just what the substance

110
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:24,480
Speaker 2: could be. Uh huh? Why did you confirm her falts?

111
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,760
Speaker 2: That's what this whole damn that is about. And when

112
00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,800
Speaker 2: I come back, this is all we gonna talk about.

113
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:41,600
Speaker 1: Why All right, Stee, thank you hang on to that

114
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:43,840
Speaker 1: thought because we'll be back at twenty three minutes after

115
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,960
Speaker 1: the hour with part two of your response today's Strawberry letters?

116
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:51,080
Speaker 1: Subject is this considered cheating or not? We'll get back

117
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:55,760
Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening hard morning show.

118
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,480
Speaker 1: All right, come on, Steve, it's time to recap today's

119
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:03,280
Speaker 1: strawberry or The subject is is this considered cheating or not?

120
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:07,760
Speaker 1: Set for yourself?

121
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:16,840
Speaker 2: Just bet. Here's a couple that's been in a relationship.

122
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:21,000
Speaker 2: Quick recap, long just relationship. He was talking about marriage

123
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:24,240
Speaker 2: for three years. He stopped talking about it last year,

124
00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,200
Speaker 2: talking about he missed her. He just want to lie

125
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:30,280
Speaker 2: next to it till he fall asleep. So you didn't

126
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,840
Speaker 2: want the relationship to go stale. You been doing everything

127
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:35,600
Speaker 2: you could do in the bedroom. Keep it fresh. Monkey

128
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:43,240
Speaker 2: flips gymnask, equipment APPARATUSUS suitcases, luggage, lotions all. Oh, she

129
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:53,880
Speaker 2: all this hell with a balanced bean, uneven pallel balls, ticklers, feathers, handcuffs, men,

130
00:07:54,360 --> 00:08:01,800
Speaker 2: house shoes. Everything is going on, villo, cam quarters, also,

131
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,920
Speaker 2: little people, monkeys. It's all in here.

132
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:08,000
Speaker 1: Crazy.

133
00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:11,440
Speaker 2: And you visited him, and he would make excuses for

134
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:14,960
Speaker 2: visiting you. I was visiting one weekend. There was a

135
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:17,040
Speaker 2: tile on the back seat and I needed to put

136
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,640
Speaker 2: the groceries in the car, picked up the tie. It

137
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:22,680
Speaker 2: was crusty and stuff. I no fool, so I know

138
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:25,640
Speaker 2: what it looked like. I thought it was attack of

139
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,840
Speaker 2: him to leave it in the car, no matter what

140
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:32,040
Speaker 2: that substance was on it. I asked him about it,

141
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:40,839
Speaker 2: and this damn food confirmed my thoughts. She didn't accuse

142
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:47,319
Speaker 2: you of anything, boy, She asked you a question, what

143
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:54,560
Speaker 2: is this sticky, crusty stuff that's on this tie? Why

144
00:08:55,200 --> 00:09:07,400
Speaker 2: in the hell would you confirm her thoughts to lie? Yeah,

145
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:10,839
Speaker 2: that truth working out for him right now. Now we're

146
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:15,600
Speaker 2: on the national radio show with the damn truth. Listen

147
00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:23,160
Speaker 2: to me, fool, stupid ass boy, she said, I'm no fool.

148
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:28,280
Speaker 2: I know what it looked like. That's doubt. I thought

149
00:09:28,559 --> 00:09:31,360
Speaker 2: it was incredibly tacky of him to leave it in

150
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:35,640
Speaker 2: the car. I thought, that's doubt. No matter what the

151
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:39,440
Speaker 2: substance was, she still ain't called it nothing. It's just

152
00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:46,480
Speaker 2: substance was that's doubts. I asked him about it, that's

153
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:51,040
Speaker 2: no doubt, and then he confirmed it with his stupid ass.

154
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,000
Speaker 2: He said he went out on a week or so

155
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,679
Speaker 2: before I got there, and a female friend of him

156
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:02,920
Speaker 2: helped him out. He said he didn't return the favor

157
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:06,560
Speaker 2: to her, but she willingly did him. He said, it's

158
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,000
Speaker 2: not like he cheated and it helped him out because

159
00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:12,320
Speaker 2: he misses making love to me. I was living, and

160
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:15,520
Speaker 2: all he kept saying was that he did it for us.

161
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,040
Speaker 1: It is not cheating.

162
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:20,839
Speaker 2: I have needs to but I've never had a quick

163
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,520
Speaker 2: hook up with my male friend. It's this cheating or

164
00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:25,880
Speaker 2: not should I break up with him? You could have

165
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:31,760
Speaker 2: said that towel was any damn, that's what, except I

166
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:36,800
Speaker 2: wasted ice cream on the back of one that works.

167
00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:43,240
Speaker 1: That works, Yes, crusty, What is this on this towel that.

168
00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:46,640
Speaker 2: Ain't a towel. That is not a towel, baby, that's

169
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:47,560
Speaker 2: wrapping paper?

170
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,120
Speaker 1: Wrapping paper.

171
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:57,160
Speaker 2: Is still and it's crunchy works, that's what it works.

172
00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:01,280
Speaker 2: So she don't know what you want me you want

173
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:03,600
Speaker 2: me to she don't know what it is. So what

174
00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:08,679
Speaker 2: we're gonna do is we're not gonna confirm her thoughts.

175
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,360
Speaker 1: Okay, what is the substance on this?

176
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:16,920
Speaker 2: Towel threw up last week? Darryl threw up last week?

177
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:21,480
Speaker 1: Daryl? Why are you throwing away? Why is it still

178
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:21,920
Speaker 1: in here?

179
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,520
Speaker 2: I don't know. He's just back then, he was back there.

180
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:26,200
Speaker 2: I ain't even know it was back there where you

181
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:26,880
Speaker 2: when you fund?

182
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:33,880
Speaker 1: I turned the questions around, what is.

183
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:39,160
Speaker 2: You know, Daryl, what you're doing with Daryl's town? I

184
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,720
Speaker 2: asked me again, what.

185
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:41,720
Speaker 1: Is the substance?

186
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,120
Speaker 2: What is this? I don't know. That's the dog's tie.

187
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,200
Speaker 1: You don't even have a dog.

188
00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:53,480
Speaker 2: Daryl got a dog, Darryl, Darryl and.

189
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:58,680
Speaker 1: His dog, Darryl's dog doing in the car that ain't

190
00:11:58,800 --> 00:11:59,280
Speaker 1: I don't know?

191
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:00,480
Speaker 2: Ask me what else to do?

192
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,040
Speaker 1: Substance?

193
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:10,000
Speaker 2: What is this? That's kind of wax? Daryl died and

194
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:17,600
Speaker 2: I was at his visual and he had camp. Yeah,

195
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:25,360
Speaker 2: ask me again, what what is this? I don't know.

196
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:26,400
Speaker 2: That ain't my tie?

197
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:28,640
Speaker 1: What is it in your car?

198
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:32,640
Speaker 2: The hell if I know that. Damn Daryl, probably before

199
00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:34,400
Speaker 2: he died, put it in there.

200
00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:39,680
Speaker 1: Ask me again, it is crusty and stiff. What is this?

201
00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:46,760
Speaker 2: That's my mama's toilet seat cover. Ask me again, what

202
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:55,040
Speaker 2: that's freeze on that tie? I used that tile to

203
00:12:55,080 --> 00:13:02,120
Speaker 2: wax the car. Any one of them except my girlfriend

204
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:05,840
Speaker 2: helped me? Or yeah boy, your dumbass?

205
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,559
Speaker 1: All right? Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter and

206
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:11,400
Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the

207
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:16,360
Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast and demand please you're listening to Harvey

208
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:16,960
Speaker 1: Morning Show