1 00:00:01,639 --> 00:00:09,480 Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garland. Hi, everyone, 2 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:14,360 Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is about choices, 3 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:17,319 Speaker 1: and today I'm about to open up the mic to 4 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:20,040 Speaker 1: my daughter and we are going to hear about some 5 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:23,640 Speaker 1: of the choices she found herself making in high school. 6 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:27,639 Speaker 1: And I'm talking fresh off the campus for the last 7 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:31,520 Speaker 1: four years kind of choices. If you listen to the 8 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:36,160 Speaker 1: last episode, you know that my youngest Fiona just graduated 9 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:42,880 Speaker 1: from high school. And wow, what a ride it has been. 10 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:46,720 Speaker 1: Watching her walk across that stage was like watching all 11 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 1: of these just pathways like appear before her. The world 12 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 1: is her oyster, that's what they say. I don't know 13 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:58,520 Speaker 1: why they say that, but they do. Her story. Our 14 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 1: story has been like, it's been messy, it's been powerful, 15 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 1: and it's been real. And here I sit with one 16 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 1: of my favorite people in the world, still trying to 17 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: absorb the fact that you're stepping into a new chapter. 18 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:22,280 Speaker 1: I realize that, but I just I have so many questions. So, Fiona, 19 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:26,800 Speaker 1: my beautiful, brave baby bird, thank you for agreeing to 20 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:27,240 Speaker 1: do this. 21 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,119 Speaker 2: Thanks for having me. I'm so excited to talk about it. 22 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,839 Speaker 1: Congrats again. By the way, I can't say it enough. 23 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 2: You did it, I know I did. 24 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:41,680 Speaker 1: Gosh, when you think back on the last four years, 25 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:46,840 Speaker 1: what's one of the most Like, what's the moment that 26 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 1: really sticks out with you, for better or for worse, 27 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:53,360 Speaker 1: the first thing that comes to your mind, the first thing. 28 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 1: I mean, it depends on how comfortable you are just 29 00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 1: being forthright and honest, and it is what. 30 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:03,640 Speaker 2: It is, honestly. I mean what you said about walking 31 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 2: across the stage. I really felt like that was such 32 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,440 Speaker 2: a pivotal moment, Like really walking across it felt slow motion, 33 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,800 Speaker 2: It really did. It was so exciting and I was 34 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 2: so nervous. But I feel like it was a culmination 35 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:20,000 Speaker 2: of the four years because honestly, even though I've been 36 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,800 Speaker 2: graduated only a couple of weeks, it feels like everything's 37 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:25,920 Speaker 2: a blur. Like looking back, does. 38 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 1: It feel like you closed the door, like slammed it 39 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:29,080 Speaker 1: shut and. 40 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:32,080 Speaker 2: Ran exactly like the second I got off the stage. 41 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:39,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, how did you feel seeing our big, blended family 42 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,840 Speaker 1: all there together celebrating you. 43 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,079 Speaker 2: It was really nice to see all you guys. When 44 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 2: I looked out in the crowd, I saw all of 45 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:50,200 Speaker 2: you with your pappers. I could hear you guys very loudly. 46 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:52,920 Speaker 2: It was so nice that all of you guys came together. 47 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 2: It felt like such a foundation for such a big 48 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,400 Speaker 2: moment for me. And seeing all of you guys just 49 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 2: being so proud of me, I could really feel it, 50 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 2: and it made me proud of me, and I was 51 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,079 Speaker 2: just really happy to see everyone come together in that moment. 52 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 1: Is weird when you see me and your dad together 53 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,840 Speaker 1: and then like Dave and Lily, it's a little of it. 54 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:15,799 Speaker 1: Sometimes it's weird. 55 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a little weird, but like in a good way. 56 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:23,360 Speaker 2: I feel like it's not any sort of bad, bad 57 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,040 Speaker 2: feeling towards it. It makes me really happy to see 58 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 2: all of you guys together because I feel like I'm 59 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 2: lucky enough to have four parents now, and it just 60 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,920 Speaker 2: kind of feels like everyone loves me so much that 61 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 2: it just comes together and in a big pool of love. 62 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 2: That's how it feels for me. 63 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,440 Speaker 1: I've been having all my feelings. What if we call 64 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,960 Speaker 1: your dad and find out like how he's feeling since 65 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 1: you graduated? Can you call him? 66 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 2: Should we call him? 67 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 1: Yeah? 68 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:47,680 Speaker 2: Call him? 69 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 1: Wait, he never answers my call, so you do it 70 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 1: from your phone. 71 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:59,640 Speaker 2: Okay, let's see if feel inswer mine. Hi, we are 72 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:04,200 Speaker 2: on podcast right now. I just wanted to Hey, Peter, 73 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 2: mom's here too, right, I'm in the shower. 74 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:12,240 Speaker 1: Okay, this is gonna be great. Why first of all, 75 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 1: why do you have your phone in the shower? 76 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:18,400 Speaker 3: I was, I reached out, I'm naked, and I'm well, that's. 77 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,600 Speaker 1: A visual for our listeners. 78 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:26,280 Speaker 3: That welcome to showering with Peter fashion Elle. 79 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,719 Speaker 1: Oh that you know what that could work. I'm not 80 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:32,640 Speaker 1: gonna lie. Well, Fiona and I are on my podcast 81 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 1: and we are talking about her high school experience and 82 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 1: I was kind of sharing like where I am and 83 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,960 Speaker 1: all the emotions that I've kind of ran through and 84 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 1: where I've kind of settled, and we were just wondering, like, 85 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 1: for you, where are you with it? Like such a 86 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 1: big feeling. Yeah, how are you feeling? 87 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:55,160 Speaker 3: I feel very numb. Honestly, it's been a very numbing experience. Yeah. 88 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 3: I don't know if it's all hit me yet. 89 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,200 Speaker 2: I am. 90 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 3: It's a fe you know, you're you're our baby, so 91 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,480 Speaker 3: you're all growing up and it's a whole new chapter. 92 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:11,360 Speaker 3: And I feel like I don't I don't know how 93 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:15,200 Speaker 3: to feel. I really feel like I haven't fully experienced 94 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:18,599 Speaker 3: all the emotions. I feel like I'm curious how you 95 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:20,839 Speaker 3: you're doing because I want to check on you. I 96 00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:23,560 Speaker 3: feel like, are you feeling like lost? Are you feeling 97 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:27,760 Speaker 3: like excited? Are you feeling sad? I mean, I think 98 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,720 Speaker 3: it also triggers a lot of emotions. You know, when 99 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,960 Speaker 3: I finish a chapter, you know, you kind of feel 100 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:38,360 Speaker 3: a little numb to like you do a little in 101 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:41,159 Speaker 3: a period of not knowing what the next is, you know, 102 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:43,920 Speaker 3: So it kind of I feel all those things coming 103 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 3: maybe from you or maybe from the triggering of when 104 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 3: I finished a chapter on things. So, you know, how 105 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:51,680 Speaker 3: do you feel? 106 00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:58,160 Speaker 2: I feel great, really happy. Honestly, it feels like I'm 107 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:01,560 Speaker 2: just so happy that I don't have to go back 108 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:05,840 Speaker 2: to high school. I feel a little numb too, like 109 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 2: definitely hasn't set in that I'm not going back, you know, 110 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:13,480 Speaker 2: like when summer ends. But I I am actually really 111 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 2: happy and I feel like kind of just at peace. 112 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,880 Speaker 2: Like that's how I'm feeling, right, Yeah. 113 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:21,640 Speaker 1: That's got to be a good feeling. 114 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,480 Speaker 2: It's really nice, like waking up and not feeling stressed 115 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,719 Speaker 2: to do anything, like just kind of having a moment 116 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:33,840 Speaker 2: to just kind of regenerate and I bet. And it's 117 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 2: different from most summers because usually when I when I 118 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:41,240 Speaker 2: when school ends for that year, you always think about, oh, 119 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 2: I'm going back and I have like summer reading to do. 120 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,360 Speaker 2: But right now, I just feel like I'm moving on 121 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 2: to the next thing, and although change it feels scary 122 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 2: a little bit like I don't really know what to expect. 123 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:53,600 Speaker 2: I feel like it's going to be good. 124 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:54,440 Speaker 1: I do. 125 00:06:54,680 --> 00:07:00,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, so you're excited. It's like you're you're feeling free 126 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:01,640 Speaker 3: and excited. 127 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,279 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's how I feel kind of like you. 128 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,280 Speaker 3: Oh I was shower just dripping all over the floor. 129 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 2: Now I'm getting a visual. 130 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 1: I think we have to end this conversation. 131 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 3: Well, thank you for calling and this. I hope this 132 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 3: makes you feel like you can call me anytime anywhere. 133 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 3: I will pick up a phone for you, even. 134 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:27,679 Speaker 1: On a podcast in ways wet and dripping, I love you. 135 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 2: Hi. That was a shower. 136 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,240 Speaker 4: That's that's like I need to just kind of have 137 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 4: a moment to scrub my bell. Yeah, okay, Well he's 138 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 4: feeling numb. 139 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 1: I can get that. Like it's like did that just happen? 140 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 1: Did those four years just happen? And now it's all over. 141 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, it really honestly, I was thinking about that, like 142 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:56,760 Speaker 2: everything felt so big in the moment, and then I 143 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 2: graduated and I was like, why did I care that 144 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:00,800 Speaker 2: much about everything? 145 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:06,320 Speaker 1: That is profound? Like a lot of people don't come 146 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 1: to that realization until much much later in their lives 147 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 1: and their like development. But for you to be able 148 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 1: to see that now, just just looking right back from 149 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,080 Speaker 1: graduating from high school, that's huge. And if you can 150 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:22,680 Speaker 1: carry that on to wherever you go and whatever you do, 151 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:26,960 Speaker 1: remind yourself because I think we probably I know, your dad, 152 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 1: I know we talked about like it doesn't really matter. 153 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 1: You're never going to see these people again. Yeah, there 154 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:33,439 Speaker 1: are some friends that you're going to stay in touch with, 155 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 1: but more so, it doesn't matter what anyone, you know, thinks. 156 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:46,080 Speaker 1: I'm just so grateful for the teachers who really saw you, 157 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 1: you know, because you know, it's no joke. It really 158 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:52,200 Speaker 1: does take a village to raise a kid. And I'm 159 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 1: just I was every time you would come home and 160 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 1: talk to me about you had a good experience with 161 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 1: a teacher, or you're learning something and you're excited about 162 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,800 Speaker 1: with the lessons, or just the conversations you have after 163 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 1: class or before class with your teachers. Every time that 164 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:09,000 Speaker 1: would happen, I would just be like, like excited, because 165 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 1: that's what I wanted for you the whole time. Yeah, 166 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:12,240 Speaker 1: but it wasn't always the case. 167 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:15,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, there were a few teachers that I really connected 168 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:19,040 Speaker 2: with that really I really felt like saw me for 169 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:25,040 Speaker 2: like who I was and didn't have like a label 170 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 2: on me or whatever it may be. I felt really 171 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:30,840 Speaker 2: seen by a few, and I really appreciate them looking back. 172 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:36,440 Speaker 1: Do you feel like some of your teachers helped to 173 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,760 Speaker 1: sort of shape you to the person that you are 174 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:40,280 Speaker 1: right now? 175 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,560 Speaker 2: Yeah. I think there was a teacher sophomore year who 176 00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:47,480 Speaker 2: I really loved who Miss Alamida, Miss Alameda. I loved her. 177 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:50,720 Speaker 2: She really helped me, and I went back to her 178 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:54,360 Speaker 2: classroom many times, especially at lunches where I was feeling 179 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:59,280 Speaker 2: like emotional or anything like that, I would just talk 180 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 2: with her and and she just really was such a 181 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:09,280 Speaker 2: kind person that I really appreciated having, especially it's such 182 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:09,880 Speaker 2: a hard time. 183 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, what about you said that certain teachers were kind 184 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 1: of able to not label you or see past the 185 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:25,560 Speaker 1: what presents. Yeah, what do you think was stopping the 186 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,440 Speaker 1: other teachers from being able to do that. 187 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think there was a couple of teachers looking 188 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 2: back that I feel kind of had mislabeled me from 189 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 2: the jump, and I always tried to participate in class, 190 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,080 Speaker 2: and there was sometimes when I felt kind of just 191 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:49,960 Speaker 2: overlooked in classes and like they weren't as a whole. 192 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,680 Speaker 2: They were just looking at the group as a whole 193 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:53,880 Speaker 2: and not individually, which I feel like is a big thing, 194 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 2: especially in bigger classes where you where it's nice to 195 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,240 Speaker 2: feel like you the teacher knows you and see how 196 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 2: hard you're trying, or like how much work you actually 197 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:07,920 Speaker 2: are putting in. But I don't, I mean, it wasn't 198 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,959 Speaker 2: that bad, but I think definitely there were some times 199 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,680 Speaker 2: where that was what I felt. 200 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:18,240 Speaker 1: What are some things from your teachers and the other 201 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:22,160 Speaker 1: adults maybe at your school that you'll take with you. 202 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:27,559 Speaker 1: I think your favorite teachers were Miss Almadia. 203 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:33,560 Speaker 2: Miss Almeida, Miss Colvin, Miss Shelton Michelle. Mister mister was 204 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,480 Speaker 2: so fun. He was just a ball of energy. 205 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:38,360 Speaker 1: He made the learning fun. 206 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,480 Speaker 2: Fun And I was taking an AP class with him, 207 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 2: which is a harder class, and he never made me 208 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,720 Speaker 2: feel even when I didn't understand, which is What I 209 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,680 Speaker 2: really liked about him is he never made me feel 210 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:54,600 Speaker 2: bad about asking questions and like being curious about the material, 211 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 2: even if the question sounds dumb. He would always say, 212 00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 2: there's no such thing as a stupid question. So I 213 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,160 Speaker 2: I just felt seen in that class. My other teachers, 214 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:08,480 Speaker 2: they taught me a lot, especially Miss Covin, about social justice. 215 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,240 Speaker 2: Even it was a religion class, but it really taught 216 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:15,400 Speaker 2: me about things I didn't even know. I mean, we 217 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:19,319 Speaker 2: had classes about sexual health and all those types of 218 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,600 Speaker 2: things that I never learned before. And I think that's 219 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:25,000 Speaker 2: really important that I had that class, especially in a 220 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:28,440 Speaker 2: school where some of those things are overlooked. That was 221 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 2: really helpful to learn about, right because it was. 222 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:37,000 Speaker 1: A Catholic Catholic school, So that's good that they were 223 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:38,080 Speaker 1: teaching you those things. 224 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, and they she didn't look at it through a 225 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,960 Speaker 2: lens of like this is bad or whatever. It's just 226 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:48,160 Speaker 2: teaching and the facts and especially asking questions in that 227 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:51,720 Speaker 2: class was really helpful. We had like an anonymous questions thing. 228 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,560 Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait, what was one of your anonymous questions? 229 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:57,240 Speaker 1: So nobody's going to know. I don't even know. 230 00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:02,320 Speaker 2: I asked a lot of anonymous questions all, but I 231 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:07,480 Speaker 2: asked a lot about I didn't know about all the STDs. 232 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,840 Speaker 2: There's a lot of them, and there's a lot of 233 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,680 Speaker 2: facts about them. I was like, what And so I 234 00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:15,400 Speaker 2: would ask a lot of questions about that, like just 235 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:19,440 Speaker 2: in general, like can you get this? Or what what 236 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 2: are the symptoms of this? You know, just asking questions 237 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,880 Speaker 2: about that I didn't want people to be like, why 238 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,040 Speaker 2: is she asking all these questions? 239 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:26,240 Speaker 1: I'm asking for a friend. 240 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, I just wanted to know. 241 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 1: So, yeah, it must be that. That's that's a really 242 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,160 Speaker 1: good way to do it. How it be anonymous questions? 243 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:34,520 Speaker 2: Yeah? 244 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:37,280 Speaker 1: What about the teachers that didn't see you and that 245 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:40,560 Speaker 1: sort of did you feel like they put you in 246 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,040 Speaker 1: a certain box? Like you said from the jump? 247 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 2: And then I mean, yeah, there were some classes where 248 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:50,600 Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't want to name names, but 249 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,760 Speaker 2: I was being like picked on a lot for being 250 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:55,839 Speaker 2: They would call me stupid or be like. 251 00:13:55,720 --> 00:14:01,240 Speaker 1: Ohoo, who no names, but who called you stupid? A teacher? 252 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:03,719 Speaker 2: No? No, no, no, no, friends, I'm saying. 253 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:05,960 Speaker 1: Down. 254 00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:09,680 Speaker 2: There were times when in the classroom I would feel 255 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 2: like the teachers could hear what was going on, but 256 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:17,600 Speaker 2: they weren't doing anything, especially the comments of like they 257 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 2: would really get to meet some of the comments. And 258 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,200 Speaker 2: I would even look at the teachers and they were 259 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,920 Speaker 2: fully listening and they wouldn't do anything, and they would 260 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,520 Speaker 2: just be like, Oh, it's just kids being kids. And 261 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:29,240 Speaker 2: I think that it is so important for teachers to 262 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:32,640 Speaker 2: pay attention to what is going on because they just don't. 263 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,720 Speaker 2: Sometimes they just want to teach the material and they 264 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:37,280 Speaker 2: want to get through the class. But I don't know, 265 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:41,120 Speaker 2: I just felt not supported by some of the teachers 266 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,440 Speaker 2: sometimes in that sense, because I feel like I couldn't 267 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 2: go to anyone. And when I met some of my 268 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,200 Speaker 2: favorite teachers senior year is when I realized I could 269 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:51,080 Speaker 2: go to adults. But freshman year sophomore year, I didn't. 270 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,480 Speaker 2: With the exception of a few, I didn't feel like 271 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 2: I could go to anyone for help. 272 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:56,760 Speaker 1: That stinks. 273 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, it really was hard. 274 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,480 Speaker 1: What kind of comments are we talking about? Like that 275 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:06,320 Speaker 1: would the teacher would overhear and then do nothing about 276 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:07,440 Speaker 1: or say nothing about. 277 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:11,440 Speaker 2: I mean, mostly jokingly comments. I guess that's what they said. 278 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:14,040 Speaker 2: They were just jokes. Oh it's just a joke, joke, 279 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:18,720 Speaker 2: don't be so sensitive, Just like oh, Fiona, like do 280 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:21,640 Speaker 2: you get this? Or like is this too much for 281 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:26,000 Speaker 2: you to understand? Or just like I would ask a question, 282 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 2: they'd be like what kind of question is that? I would 283 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:30,560 Speaker 2: be like, or if I didn't know the answer, they'd 284 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 2: be like, of course she doesn't know the answer. Just 285 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:35,280 Speaker 2: things like that, like little jabs, little like belittling comments, 286 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:39,320 Speaker 2: oh yeah, which were made by my friends. So it 287 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:43,280 Speaker 2: was hard for me to differentiate jokes and actual like truth. 288 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 2: I think that's still something I struggle with when I'm 289 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:49,120 Speaker 2: around them or when I was around them, is like 290 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:52,000 Speaker 2: do they actually think I'm stupid? Or are they joking? 291 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,040 Speaker 2: I don't, I didn't, I still don't know. 292 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,680 Speaker 1: Well, don't let that make you feel stupid, because that 293 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:01,920 Speaker 1: just is one of those things. It doesn't matter, and 294 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,320 Speaker 1: you're never gonna see them anymore. 295 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,360 Speaker 2: No, that's exactly why I'm so happy to be gratifying. 296 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,360 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I can feel your joy, and it's 297 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 1: like it's contagious. You didn't just survive, you really grew 298 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:22,640 Speaker 1: a lot. And I know that that happens for anybody 299 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:26,320 Speaker 1: in high school. You've got to survive the rough times 300 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:29,760 Speaker 1: and you've got to be open and grow. I think 301 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:34,280 Speaker 1: you know things now that, like I said, some adults 302 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:39,160 Speaker 1: don't even know they haven't learned, and things I'm still learning. 303 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:45,000 Speaker 1: What did you learn about yourself during the times when 304 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:48,680 Speaker 1: things felt most impossible. 305 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,520 Speaker 2: I learned a lot. I feel like they were really 306 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:56,480 Speaker 2: important gears those four years. I feel like you really 307 00:16:56,520 --> 00:17:01,720 Speaker 2: grow as a person. I think I learned how strong 308 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:07,240 Speaker 2: I actually am and how much it's important to find 309 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:10,680 Speaker 2: people that make you feel good and make you feel seen, 310 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,280 Speaker 2: and to stick with those people you know. In high school, 311 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:16,680 Speaker 2: it's so easy to get wrapped up in the cool 312 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,440 Speaker 2: kids or who you know who you want to like you, 313 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:21,960 Speaker 2: But it's important to stay with the people who just 314 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,800 Speaker 2: like you for you and be loyal to them, because 315 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:28,359 Speaker 2: I feel like that's really important to put your eggs 316 00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:31,680 Speaker 2: in the right baskets and find people that make you 317 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:35,280 Speaker 2: feel good about being yourself. And I think I learned 318 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:41,760 Speaker 2: that it's okay to be emotional and to go through 319 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:46,080 Speaker 2: things and feel things deeply. It's not a weakness, it's 320 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:50,360 Speaker 2: actually a strength that you can have. And don't let 321 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,119 Speaker 2: people bring you down, because who really cares what they 322 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,399 Speaker 2: think in the long run, I mean, it's your life, 323 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 2: you know. 324 00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,920 Speaker 1: So you said earlier. You were told you emotional. 325 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:06,159 Speaker 2: I've heard that a few times. Same, Yeah, you do, 326 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:07,359 Speaker 2: I get it from you. 327 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:11,000 Speaker 1: But what do you think of being a person that's 328 00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:13,840 Speaker 1: charged with full of emotions. 329 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,679 Speaker 2: I think it's a great thing. I think it's something 330 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,440 Speaker 2: to be proud of that you feel things deeply. I mean, 331 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:22,800 Speaker 2: I would rather feel things ten times the normal feeling 332 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,240 Speaker 2: than to feel less for people, you know, and if 333 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:31,840 Speaker 2: if something hurts you, it should be okay to feel upset. 334 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:32,080 Speaker 3: You know. 335 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:38,200 Speaker 2: It's not over dramatic or over sensitive to be affected 336 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,720 Speaker 2: by things, you know. I feel like that was very 337 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:44,919 Speaker 2: looked down upon when things would happen, and you just 338 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:48,280 Speaker 2: don't like roll it off your back, you know. And 339 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,560 Speaker 2: that's another thing, like sometimes if someone says something you should, 340 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,840 Speaker 2: you know, roll it off your back because who cares 341 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,480 Speaker 2: what they think? But it is hard to hear. 342 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:59,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, so in the moment, in the heated moment, and 343 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:04,560 Speaker 1: like your other peers are around you, and it can 344 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,320 Speaker 1: be so like isolating. 345 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:07,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, isolating. 346 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:19,240 Speaker 1: I remember you quite a number of times calling me 347 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,520 Speaker 1: which you're not supposed to go from school, calling me 348 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:27,160 Speaker 1: from like the bathroom or the girl's locker room or something. Yeah, 349 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:31,719 Speaker 1: and just having to have a moment of like coming undone. 350 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, I would not go back to that if you 351 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,040 Speaker 2: paid me so much money. 352 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 1: So I don't want to give you bad I really 353 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:39,359 Speaker 1: just had. 354 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,399 Speaker 2: No Yeah, there were a lot of times like that. 355 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,520 Speaker 2: I know a lot of girls too who have had that. 356 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,119 Speaker 2: I've met girls and we've talked about it. There's just 357 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,800 Speaker 2: one bathroom at school. We like talked about how that's 358 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,040 Speaker 2: the bathroom you go and you cry and you call. 359 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,480 Speaker 1: Your mom crying bathroom. 360 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:57,040 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I think the tenants ladies didn't like me 361 00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,000 Speaker 2: very much because I was always sick. 362 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,640 Speaker 1: Is that you took a few you took mental health 363 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,080 Speaker 1: days to a whole other level. 364 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,520 Speaker 2: I think they like should like frame my picture or 365 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:08,040 Speaker 2: something with. 366 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,840 Speaker 1: All the notes we didn't give them to uh correct 367 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 1: your absences. When you look back on freshman year Fiona, 368 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:21,399 Speaker 1: with that little freshman year Fiona to the Fiona you 369 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:25,240 Speaker 1: are right now, what are the biggest differences that you 370 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:26,120 Speaker 1: see in yourself? 371 00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:29,840 Speaker 2: So many? But I really just want to talk to her, 372 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:33,119 Speaker 2: like i've I really just want to sit down with 373 00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:36,800 Speaker 2: her because she was so I mean, I love her, 374 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:42,040 Speaker 2: but she was I like to say, beautifully naive, because 375 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,960 Speaker 2: she just looked for the good and everything she didn't 376 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:49,040 Speaker 2: was I don't think she was ever exposed to what 377 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 2: I had to be exposed to, but yeah, she I 378 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,440 Speaker 2: think one of the biggest differences is like my sense 379 00:20:56,480 --> 00:21:00,360 Speaker 2: of self and what I will put up with. And 380 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,040 Speaker 2: I used to do this thing. I don't know if 381 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,679 Speaker 2: this is like a normal thing, but I used to 382 00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:08,520 Speaker 2: like act dumber than I was, just because that was 383 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:12,080 Speaker 2: what people thought I was. And I just want to 384 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:15,800 Speaker 2: tell her, like, you're so smart and so strong and 385 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,399 Speaker 2: you don't need to like dumb yourself down. 386 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:21,679 Speaker 1: I can't lift my arms right now, but oh my god, 387 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:28,800 Speaker 1: I'm cheering. Yes, Fiona, Yes, preach. That's it. Don't dumb 388 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:34,080 Speaker 1: yourself down for anybody. We have we talked about that, 389 00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:38,920 Speaker 1: like in private. I don't know, maybe probably, yeah, because 390 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:42,159 Speaker 1: that's a thing. That's a thing that I've done. That's it. 391 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:46,000 Speaker 1: I don't know why copings like a survival tactic. 392 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,919 Speaker 2: Like I just want to know why, Like why do 393 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:49,439 Speaker 2: we do that? 394 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,960 Speaker 1: Well, good thing, You're gonna go study psychology. 395 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,399 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just so excited. That's why I'm doing it. 396 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 1: Why you come back to me with that information? Yeah, 397 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:01,800 Speaker 1: don't dumb yourself down, don't dim or light, don't not 398 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:07,280 Speaker 1: speak up and have a voice. That little Fiona, I 399 00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:08,200 Speaker 1: just want to hug her. 400 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:09,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, she needed a hug. 401 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:14,119 Speaker 1: We do a lot of talk about like thinking about 402 00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:17,240 Speaker 1: that little girl inside of you, and you know, at 403 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:21,120 Speaker 1: your age, it seems kind of silly and like, okay, mom, 404 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:25,240 Speaker 1: yeah I'll do that. But did you find yourself able 405 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,240 Speaker 1: to kind of connect with that girl in those times? 406 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:31,240 Speaker 2: Yeah? I mean I've been trying to do that more definitely. 407 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:37,000 Speaker 2: I think it's really important to be gentle with your 408 00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:39,440 Speaker 2: younger self and not be so hard on her, even 409 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:44,760 Speaker 2: though she made questionable decisions. Sometimes it's important to, you know, 410 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:49,520 Speaker 2: hold space for her and just accept that. And that 411 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,880 Speaker 2: actually helped you to get to where you are now. 412 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:55,080 Speaker 2: So be grateful for that version of yourself that is 413 00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:55,800 Speaker 2: no longer there. 414 00:22:57,080 --> 00:23:02,040 Speaker 1: So if someone were to give you a hard time now, 415 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 1: try to put you in the dumb box. 416 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:07,560 Speaker 2: Oh, I'm not putting up with it anymore. I think 417 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:10,520 Speaker 2: there's definitely parts of me that at first they're like okay, 418 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:13,879 Speaker 2: just like yeah, I am, you know, But then I 419 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:17,240 Speaker 2: think I'm I'm strong enough now to be like, don't 420 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,280 Speaker 2: talk to me like that that you don't get to 421 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,879 Speaker 2: talk to me like that, you know, And some I 422 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:25,000 Speaker 2: used to get mad at you. I remember, I'm sorry 423 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:27,719 Speaker 2: to get mad at you when you would get when 424 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:29,960 Speaker 2: you would stand up for yourself, like when you were 425 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,199 Speaker 2: when you were, for example, like a road rage, Like 426 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,040 Speaker 2: when you were on the road and somebody would you 427 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:40,960 Speaker 2: do have a when like somebody would say something mean 428 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,800 Speaker 2: to you and you were like no, like, don't talk 429 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,199 Speaker 2: to me like that, and you would get all riled up. 430 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:45,440 Speaker 2: I'd be like, Mom, calm down. 431 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:47,399 Speaker 1: Like always you want to backt like that, mom to 432 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:48,080 Speaker 1: embarrass me? 433 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:52,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, but honestly, like that's that is what you have 434 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:55,720 Speaker 2: to do like that. You don't put up with that crap. 435 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:59,120 Speaker 2: No you don't. So I'm actually proud of you now, 436 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:00,439 Speaker 2: and I'd like to be more like that. 437 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,880 Speaker 1: Hey, see what you did there? See what I did there? 438 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:12,359 Speaker 1: Taught you something he did when it came to that relationship, 439 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:17,520 Speaker 1: you know, the one I'm talking about. Everybody around us 440 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,040 Speaker 1: knows the one I'm talking about. What do you think 441 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:25,359 Speaker 1: finally helped you walk away? I know how how hard 442 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,680 Speaker 1: that was for you, and I also know how powerful 443 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:33,120 Speaker 1: you had to become to make that choice, like, if 444 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,520 Speaker 1: you feel ready, I'd love for you to sort of 445 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,399 Speaker 1: speak to that from your perspective. 446 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:43,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it was really hard to go through, 447 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:47,800 Speaker 2: especially at that age. I met that guy when I 448 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:51,480 Speaker 2: was a freshman, the first kind of movie night we had, 449 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,800 Speaker 2: like the first time, Yeah, the first he was the 450 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,439 Speaker 2: first guy saw. I remember it like, I was like 451 00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,159 Speaker 2: I like him, Like I was like that something was 452 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:03,600 Speaker 2: set a on him and I don't know why that happened. 453 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,720 Speaker 2: I feel like now I can look back and think 454 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,720 Speaker 2: like that was a lesson, like that was put into 455 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:11,760 Speaker 2: that place because I needed to learn this. It took 456 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:16,840 Speaker 2: a long time, but I needed to learn that. And yeah, 457 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:21,879 Speaker 2: it was very tumultuous, very like an emotional rollercoaster for 458 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:25,080 Speaker 2: four years, and it really affected the way people saw me, 459 00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,959 Speaker 2: not only how you felt and the way I saw me, yes, yea, 460 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:32,119 Speaker 2: which is the most important, but it did affect the 461 00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:34,400 Speaker 2: way everyone saw me, which made everyone treat me differently. 462 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,119 Speaker 2: And you know, I wish I didn't have to go 463 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:40,680 Speaker 2: through it, but I really think I learned a big, big, 464 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:45,159 Speaker 2: big lesson. I think it really taught me moving forward, 465 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:47,920 Speaker 2: what I will put up with and what I won't 466 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:51,800 Speaker 2: put up with, so I'm actually grateful for it. I 467 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,119 Speaker 2: don't think I was the best version of myself, so 468 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:57,880 Speaker 2: I can take accountability. When you're with someone like that, 469 00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,600 Speaker 2: it can bring out the worst in you, and I 470 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:04,160 Speaker 2: think I definitely saw that. I saw the worst version 471 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,240 Speaker 2: of myself that I could be, and I didn't like her, 472 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:08,600 Speaker 2: and so that was really hard because I didn't like 473 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:11,479 Speaker 2: myself at all, and so I think that's what really 474 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:16,120 Speaker 2: made me leave after a long time of going back 475 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,600 Speaker 2: and back and back, but really the last time I 476 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:21,399 Speaker 2: left it was because I just couldn't stand who I 477 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:27,280 Speaker 2: was because it just made me so just the worst 478 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:30,639 Speaker 2: version of myself. So yeah, I think that's what pushed 479 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:33,879 Speaker 2: me to leave, and knowing that I deserve better, and also, 480 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:39,160 Speaker 2: I will say connection from family and friends who saw 481 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 2: me and loved me, I think really helped me get 482 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:45,760 Speaker 2: through that because I felt very alone at times. So 483 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,879 Speaker 2: when I was with people who I knew loved me 484 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,040 Speaker 2: for me and I saw that version, I saw that 485 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:54,239 Speaker 2: little girl who I am come out, I was like, 486 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,840 Speaker 2: I want to be happy, I want to be me. 487 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:01,439 Speaker 2: So I think I chose me and I finally just 488 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:04,240 Speaker 2: put that in the past. And I also think leaving 489 00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:08,080 Speaker 2: high school is you know, really closing the chapter. But 490 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,000 Speaker 2: it's definitely hard. 491 00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:16,920 Speaker 1: Definitely hard. What would you say to a freshman who's 492 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:22,080 Speaker 1: going into high school who maybe spots a guy and 493 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,560 Speaker 1: thinks he's the one. 494 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:26,960 Speaker 2: Don't put your eggs on one basket. That's what I 495 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,720 Speaker 2: will say, like straight out of the gate. Don't do that. Yeah, 496 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:33,800 Speaker 2: just make good friends, surround yourself with people who share 497 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:38,399 Speaker 2: your same passions and interests and see you and be 498 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:44,760 Speaker 2: you know, cautious and and don't don't accept anything less 499 00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:45,600 Speaker 2: than what you deserve. 500 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:49,240 Speaker 1: I think, how do you find those those your people? Though? 501 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:51,000 Speaker 1: How do you find those people that see you in 502 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,320 Speaker 1: a sea of how many? How many people were in 503 00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:54,520 Speaker 1: your class? A lot? 504 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:58,080 Speaker 2: I don't even know, maybe like four hundred, I think, Yeah, 505 00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:01,600 Speaker 2: I would say I didn't really find I mean, with 506 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,960 Speaker 2: the exception of a few, I didn't really find my 507 00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:07,800 Speaker 2: people in high school. I think that's because I didn't have, 508 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,639 Speaker 2: you know, a major sport that I was in or 509 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,840 Speaker 2: a club I wasn't very well I did, but I quit. 510 00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:17,080 Speaker 1: So you were you were in soccer the first year? 511 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:22,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, and then I quit. Yeah. So I think even 512 00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:24,200 Speaker 2: if it's not a sport, if you're not into sports, 513 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:27,800 Speaker 2: a club or you know, sitting with different people and 514 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,879 Speaker 2: exploring different options. And I was really caught up in 515 00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:34,119 Speaker 2: the cool group, like who are the popular kids? You know? 516 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:36,879 Speaker 2: And that was always on my mind, like I have 517 00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:38,280 Speaker 2: to go sit with them. Even if I met like 518 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,480 Speaker 2: a really cool girl in like my English class, I'd 519 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:41,960 Speaker 2: be like, you're cool, But I have to go sit 520 00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:43,920 Speaker 2: with the people that don't actually like me because I 521 00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:44,720 Speaker 2: want them to like me. 522 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,760 Speaker 1: You know, that's so ridiculous. 523 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,040 Speaker 2: It is ridiculous, but I feel like it's honestly something 524 00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:53,959 Speaker 2: everyone goes through. But I would say a freshman just 525 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,719 Speaker 2: to find, like someone who's going into high school, just 526 00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:00,240 Speaker 2: you know, explore different groups and find the people that 527 00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,040 Speaker 2: make you feel the best and stick with them. 528 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:06,520 Speaker 1: Mm hmm yeah, like get curious instead of just being 529 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 1: handed what comes your way, Like step out of that 530 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:13,560 Speaker 1: and get curious about like what are my other options 531 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:14,320 Speaker 1: around this place? 532 00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:17,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, there's so many people. And on graduation day, people's 533 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:18,920 Speaker 2: names were being called and I was like, who is that, 534 00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:20,800 Speaker 2: Like I don't I didn't even know. And I was 535 00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:22,880 Speaker 2: like they could have been really cool, and I never 536 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,719 Speaker 2: got to get to know them because I was too 537 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,880 Speaker 2: stuck in my own world, and I think stepping out 538 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:32,040 Speaker 2: of that can really be beneficial, especially when you feel isolated. 539 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,520 Speaker 1: Do you think you missed out on some opportunities? 540 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, I do. I mean I did joins like cheer 541 00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:41,560 Speaker 2: and things. 542 00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:43,840 Speaker 1: Weren't even the Divorced Kids club I was. 543 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,360 Speaker 2: I don't think I went to a meeting, but I 544 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:47,280 Speaker 2: signed up for that one. 545 00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:50,080 Speaker 1: I didn't know you weren't. It was frowned upon, so 546 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:51,280 Speaker 1: you you didn't. 547 00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:54,280 Speaker 2: I also like signed up for a bunch of different clubs, 548 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,840 Speaker 2: but actually never went to the meetings. Just so I 549 00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:00,520 Speaker 2: think really going just experiencing. If you don't like it, 550 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:02,320 Speaker 2: then don't go back. But I never even went, so 551 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:06,480 Speaker 2: I think you should go and just have like one 552 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,360 Speaker 2: meeting at lunch with somebody. 553 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:11,960 Speaker 1: You know. That seems odd behavior from you, just knowing 554 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:16,880 Speaker 1: you so well and knowing how you love meeting new 555 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,960 Speaker 1: people and you love talking to people and you're so curious. 556 00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,800 Speaker 1: It might you know, it pains me to know like 557 00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:27,040 Speaker 1: how trapped inside yourself you were. 558 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:29,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I was saying, Like I didn't even 559 00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:32,840 Speaker 2: recognize myself. I didn't want to know anybody else except 560 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,360 Speaker 2: for the people that were treating me the worst, which 561 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:41,200 Speaker 2: is what is that? So I think there was some 562 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,240 Speaker 2: sort of prize. We've talked about this where I felt like, 563 00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:45,920 Speaker 2: if I could get them to like me, I won, 564 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,440 Speaker 2: you know. With the guy felt like either he was 565 00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:52,040 Speaker 2: hot commodities, so I was like, if I could get 566 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:54,280 Speaker 2: him to like me, I'm I'm you know, I'm that 567 00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:58,200 Speaker 2: girl or whatever. But I don't looking back, that. 568 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:01,440 Speaker 1: Was just so stupid, Like it's sort of this like 569 00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:05,840 Speaker 1: kind of need to win or to conquer or something 570 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,480 Speaker 1: like we've talked about that because I possessed that to 571 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:12,920 Speaker 1: a very competitive not with outside, just competitive with my 572 00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:16,240 Speaker 1: own self and like I got to do that. Yeah, 573 00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:18,720 Speaker 1: that seems like something I can't do. I'm gonna do it. 574 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,600 Speaker 2: I'm going to prove to myself and others I can't 575 00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:21,920 Speaker 2: do that. 576 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:25,920 Speaker 1: You know, maybe you shouldn't have had to prove yourself 577 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:28,160 Speaker 1: with that regard. 578 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:29,080 Speaker 2: Yeah. 579 00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:39,000 Speaker 1: Oh man, Okay, Well let's talk about the mom hard 580 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:43,400 Speaker 1: for a second. Were there times when you felt like 581 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:47,960 Speaker 1: I wasn't fully there for you or were there times 582 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,840 Speaker 1: when I was there for you way too much? I 583 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:52,520 Speaker 1: mean I'm sure yes to both of those. 584 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,960 Speaker 2: Yes to both of those. I feel like sometimes I 585 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,920 Speaker 2: push you away. A lot of times I push you 586 00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:01,160 Speaker 2: away because I felt I needed to handle it all 587 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:04,880 Speaker 2: on my own. And then sometimes I really just needed 588 00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,200 Speaker 2: a hug. But that was also my fault because I 589 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:11,520 Speaker 2: didn't tell anybody what was going on. So I think, honestly, 590 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:14,000 Speaker 2: you did a great job. I think, especially in the 591 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:17,040 Speaker 2: last two years, I started opening up more to you. 592 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:21,120 Speaker 2: I don't know if you felt that, but I just 593 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,560 Speaker 2: felt really supported by you the last two years. The 594 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:25,160 Speaker 2: first two years I just wanted to do it all 595 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:26,760 Speaker 2: my own, So it really was not your fault. 596 00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:31,040 Speaker 1: What do you think was the shift? I think. 597 00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,160 Speaker 2: I think I don't know what it was, but I 598 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,720 Speaker 2: feel like the summer going into junior year, I didn't 599 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,600 Speaker 2: talk to anybody from my school. I had my best 600 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:43,640 Speaker 2: friend outside of school who really helped me, and yeah, 601 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:48,719 Speaker 2: I love her, and that really changed how I felt 602 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:53,040 Speaker 2: about priorities and who I'm going to give my energy to. 603 00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:54,960 Speaker 2: And I felt like I really needed to give my 604 00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:56,840 Speaker 2: energy to my family that I feel like I need 605 00:32:56,840 --> 00:33:00,400 Speaker 2: to lean on you guys in that time and my 606 00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:03,000 Speaker 2: best friend, so I think that would just became more 607 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,280 Speaker 2: important to me. So I think that's when I started 608 00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:09,440 Speaker 2: talking to you, especially after I got out of the relationship. 609 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,760 Speaker 2: I think I was more open to sharing what happened, 610 00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,680 Speaker 2: because when you're in a relationship, you don't want to 611 00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:17,280 Speaker 2: talk about the bad things you do because then you're 612 00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,400 Speaker 2: not going to like him, you know, right, you. 613 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,120 Speaker 1: Don't want me to not like him. I want to 614 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,000 Speaker 1: change your mind tomorrow, exactly. 615 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:25,360 Speaker 2: I wanted you to like him, so I just protected 616 00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,160 Speaker 2: him at all costs and made him seem like the 617 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:32,840 Speaker 2: best boyfriend, the best person, when really it was tearing 618 00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:36,800 Speaker 2: me down emotionally inside and just really hard. I just 619 00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,320 Speaker 2: wanted to paint the best picture of what was going on. 620 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,360 Speaker 2: So I think after that ended, I was more open 621 00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:45,920 Speaker 2: to sharing, and I feel like we connected more after that. 622 00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:51,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so glad you started talking to me, because 623 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:55,520 Speaker 1: a mom can always feel it, see it, know, when 624 00:33:56,000 --> 00:34:00,640 Speaker 1: their kid is struggling. You know, you see it in 625 00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:03,560 Speaker 1: different ways, and you see it and things that aren't 626 00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:05,760 Speaker 1: said as much as the things that are said. And 627 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,720 Speaker 1: I don't know about you, but I mean, I feel 628 00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:16,720 Speaker 1: so grateful that you made it through that, specifically that relationship, 629 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:21,239 Speaker 1: that you learned all about the person you didn't want 630 00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:29,960 Speaker 1: to be. Yeah, Okay, Well, looking ahead, What is it 631 00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:34,840 Speaker 1: during this time of transition into college that you would 632 00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:40,960 Speaker 1: like to see from me or what would you like 633 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:43,839 Speaker 1: me to do differently? And I'm just opening this up 634 00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:47,400 Speaker 1: for conversation. Well, you're really excited. 635 00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:50,120 Speaker 2: I mean, I think you do. 636 00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:50,719 Speaker 1: A great job. 637 00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:54,919 Speaker 2: Honestly, I'll give that to you. I think you're very 638 00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:58,320 Speaker 2: easy to talk to, easy to come to with my problems, 639 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:00,920 Speaker 2: and I don't think you try to control me at all. 640 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:05,400 Speaker 2: I mean I am technically an adult, just saying, but 641 00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:08,480 Speaker 2: I think going into college, I'll probably want to come 642 00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:11,360 Speaker 2: home a lot, especially since i'll be closed. 643 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:15,279 Speaker 1: Oh no, that's that's bad because I'm going to use 644 00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:16,200 Speaker 1: your room as a gym. 645 00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:21,520 Speaker 2: No, you're not to keep it exactly as it is. No, Yeah, 646 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:25,600 Speaker 2: I feel like just being a supportive person like you are. 647 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,760 Speaker 2: I don't think there's anything you need to change honestly 648 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:29,040 Speaker 2: as of right now. 649 00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:32,960 Speaker 1: No, no curfew alternation. 650 00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:37,200 Speaker 2: You could yeah, maybe like one am. 651 00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:39,440 Speaker 1: What do you think a reasonable curfew is for somebody 652 00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:43,200 Speaker 1: in high school and then somebody that's just graduated fromigh. 653 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:44,680 Speaker 2: School, well senior in high school. I mean a lot 654 00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:46,280 Speaker 2: of my friends don't even have curfews. 655 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:47,000 Speaker 1: What's up with that. 656 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:51,080 Speaker 2: I just don't think it's like a thing anymore. I 657 00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:53,239 Speaker 2: really have never heard the word curfew in a couple 658 00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,560 Speaker 2: of months. I don't think people are like, oh, my curfew, 659 00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:57,480 Speaker 2: I have to be home. I think they just like 660 00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:02,000 Speaker 2: you say that kind of kind of yeah. But honestly, 661 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,440 Speaker 2: I think people just know when to be home. I 662 00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:07,480 Speaker 2: mean the people I hang out with her, like, I 663 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:09,040 Speaker 2: want to be home at this time. I want to 664 00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:12,160 Speaker 2: be home, like in my bed, you know. But I 665 00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,799 Speaker 2: feel like a reasonable curfew for like I don't know, 666 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:16,719 Speaker 2: like twelve twelve one. 667 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:19,480 Speaker 1: Oh, I love you so much, twelve, let's twelve thirty 668 00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:20,040 Speaker 1: about it? 669 00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:22,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, but now I'm feeling like one thirty. 670 00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:26,440 Speaker 1: Okay, well you can come back. Let's circle back on that. 671 00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:30,360 Speaker 1: Let's put a pin in that. Okay, But seriously, no, 672 00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:31,480 Speaker 1: what did I always tell you? 673 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:35,040 Speaker 2: Nothing good happens after I don't even know what time you. 674 00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:37,200 Speaker 1: Said, but you are listening one midnight. 675 00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:39,080 Speaker 2: Oh I thought you said one. 676 00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:43,960 Speaker 1: No, nothing good ever happens in LA after midnight. 677 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,799 Speaker 2: That's so true, though, It true, it really is. But 678 00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:49,040 Speaker 2: like I just keep going out past twelve and then 679 00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:52,040 Speaker 2: like being like, oh wait, mom says she was right. 680 00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:55,560 Speaker 1: This is I'm not having fun all of a sudden. Huh. Okay, 681 00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:59,200 Speaker 1: so you've graduated from high school. You are in the 682 00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:02,759 Speaker 1: in between space between high school and going off to 683 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,160 Speaker 1: college in the fall. What do you feel as a 684 00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:08,600 Speaker 1: family member your role is during this time? Because I 685 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:11,080 Speaker 1: know if I were to put myself in your shoes, 686 00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:13,800 Speaker 1: I would be like, Whooo, I've got to party it 687 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:16,160 Speaker 1: up with all my friends that I probably am not 688 00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:18,600 Speaker 1: going to see again for a very long time. They're 689 00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:20,920 Speaker 1: going off to different colleges, and I just want to 690 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:22,440 Speaker 1: hang out my friends and go to the beach and 691 00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:22,960 Speaker 1: have fun. 692 00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:24,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's basically how I'm feeling. 693 00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:29,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, what does choosing yourself mean to you? Now? 694 00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:34,880 Speaker 1: After everything you've walked through, I've watched you claim your power, 695 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:38,399 Speaker 1: and I want to know what it feels like from 696 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:41,600 Speaker 1: your perspective. What does choosing yourself truly mean to you now? 697 00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:46,000 Speaker 2: I think it just means thinking about what you need 698 00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:48,840 Speaker 2: in that moment. And I know that sounds selfish, but 699 00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:52,480 Speaker 2: it isn't, because you putting yourself first in a conscious 700 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:55,240 Speaker 2: way about what is going to make me feel better 701 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:58,520 Speaker 2: and what is going to make me feel more aligned 702 00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,680 Speaker 2: with who I am more so I think, yeah, just 703 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:06,200 Speaker 2: doing things that make you feel happy and not trying 704 00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:10,320 Speaker 2: to please everybody else, and taking moments to really think. 705 00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:11,560 Speaker 1: About what you need in that moment. 706 00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:15,000 Speaker 2: Check in with your Yeah, just check in and you know, 707 00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:19,440 Speaker 2: think about what you need in that moment. 708 00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,200 Speaker 1: What are you most excited about as you go off 709 00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:25,200 Speaker 1: to college. 710 00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:28,719 Speaker 2: I'm so excited to meet a brand new bunch of 711 00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:34,520 Speaker 2: new people and to have new experiences, to learn new things. 712 00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:38,000 Speaker 2: I think having some sort of like independence. Also like 713 00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:42,600 Speaker 2: living in my own dorm and decorating it and making 714 00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:44,560 Speaker 2: sure that I get to the you know, the gym 715 00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:46,480 Speaker 2: in my classes on time. I'm just excited to have 716 00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:50,920 Speaker 2: like a sense of independence, I think. And yeah, I 717 00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,520 Speaker 2: would say the most exciting thing to me is like 718 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:57,719 Speaker 2: meeting new people and picking the right people that that 719 00:38:58,560 --> 00:38:59,959 Speaker 2: I feel the best around. 720 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:01,920 Speaker 1: M hmm. How are you gonna know? 721 00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:04,400 Speaker 2: I don't know yet, but I feel like i'll know. 722 00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:06,719 Speaker 2: I feel like I've met good friends and I have 723 00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,719 Speaker 2: good friends right now. I'll be like I feel good 724 00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:13,520 Speaker 2: around this person, and just like it's a feeling You're like, oh, 725 00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:15,520 Speaker 2: I like being around this person, like they're a cool person, 726 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,480 Speaker 2: and not in the way that you want to, you know, 727 00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,759 Speaker 2: impress them or like suck up to them, but just 728 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:22,600 Speaker 2: like I like being around you and it feels. 729 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,520 Speaker 1: Natural and fun and easy. Yeah. 730 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:26,960 Speaker 2: So I want to find people that I just can 731 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:31,839 Speaker 2: talk to and listen to, you know, and have fun with. 732 00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:38,280 Speaker 1: I mean speaking of talking too and listening to people. 733 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:42,520 Speaker 1: Should we tell? Do you want to tell the audience? 734 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:45,719 Speaker 1: Like we can give a little little sneaky peaky we 735 00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:49,319 Speaker 1: could do that into what's about to happen? You do it? 736 00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:50,880 Speaker 1: You do it well. 737 00:39:51,320 --> 00:40:01,120 Speaker 2: I'm going to be starting my own podcast with my heart. Yeah. 738 00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:03,720 Speaker 1: That's that's a big applause. That's this is huge. 739 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:04,840 Speaker 2: I'm so excited. 740 00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:09,400 Speaker 1: We don't know what it's going to be called yet, Nope. Okay, 741 00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:11,720 Speaker 1: when it's going to be out, Nope. 742 00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:16,279 Speaker 2: I just know I'm excited to talk about what I've 743 00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:20,040 Speaker 2: been through and kind of help others to feel seen, 744 00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:23,319 Speaker 2: other people my age to feel seen. I feel like 745 00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:25,480 Speaker 2: I've felt isolated and I feel like when I was 746 00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:26,960 Speaker 2: in those times, I was like, no one is going 747 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:28,719 Speaker 2: through what I'm going through, And I just want to 748 00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:33,040 Speaker 2: offer a space where you can feel, you know, like 749 00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:35,920 Speaker 2: people understand, like I understand what you're going through. You know, 750 00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:39,359 Speaker 2: so that's going to be really good for a lot 751 00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:43,120 Speaker 2: of excited I hope, I hope people really take what 752 00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:44,960 Speaker 2: they need out of it and really enjoy it. 753 00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:51,120 Speaker 1: Okay, well, miss Fiona Patinally before I let you go, 754 00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:53,040 Speaker 1: what was your last I Choose me moment? 755 00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:57,640 Speaker 2: Hmm okay, well my last actually, my last I choose 756 00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:00,759 Speaker 2: me moment was this morning? Okay, yeah, this morning and 757 00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:04,480 Speaker 2: I woke up around like nine and I read I 758 00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:09,080 Speaker 2: think like three chapters, which is a lot, three chapters 759 00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:10,919 Speaker 2: of my book that I'm really loving right now. 760 00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:12,040 Speaker 1: What's the book. 761 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,560 Speaker 2: It's called How to Love Better. I think it's Young 762 00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:17,680 Speaker 2: POI blowers, Yes, yes, it's great, so good. I love 763 00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:20,000 Speaker 2: this chapter that I just read. The last one I 764 00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:22,920 Speaker 2: just read this morning, called Leaving Things in the Past. 765 00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:25,600 Speaker 2: I was like, this is perfect, and I think that 766 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:27,960 Speaker 2: really helped me set the tone for my day instead 767 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:30,239 Speaker 2: of just getting on my phone like I usually do. 768 00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:34,719 Speaker 2: I just felt like I really reflected on what I read, 769 00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:36,520 Speaker 2: So I think I really chose myself in that moment. 770 00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:38,680 Speaker 1: What was your takeaway from that chapter? 771 00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:41,720 Speaker 2: I oh, okay, I wanted to talk about this. It 772 00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:44,960 Speaker 2: said in like the last part of the chapter, this 773 00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:48,840 Speaker 2: quote about how life is like a moving river, and 774 00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:51,440 Speaker 2: how things are supposed to flow through you and you're 775 00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:53,680 Speaker 2: not supposed to cling on or have attachment to things 776 00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:59,080 Speaker 2: because that can lead to suffering. And I think just 777 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,640 Speaker 2: thinking of life like a river, like this is a 778 00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:03,440 Speaker 2: great moment, but it's going to pass, and being in 779 00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:06,680 Speaker 2: the present moment because that moment is only one moment, 780 00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:10,840 Speaker 2: you know. So I think really enjoying every day to 781 00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:15,880 Speaker 2: the fullest potential you can. You are a genius. I 782 00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:17,560 Speaker 2: love you, I love you. 783 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:20,759 Speaker 1: Thank you for coming on the podcast. And this is 784 00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:24,560 Speaker 1: how I feel about you.