WEBVTT - Dance Moms! 0:00:01.840 --> 0:00:10.920 Wind Down and radio podcast. Mike's getting over the man 0:00:11.080 --> 0:00:13.880 cold right now. I don't want to hear it. What 0:00:13.960 --> 0:00:20.400 do you mean, he's um, it's just so funny. I 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:22.639 just I love it. I love a man cold. I 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:25.480 find it. I don't know, I just find it funny 0:00:25.600 --> 0:00:28.120 now because you realize we're human and that we're all 0:00:28.160 --> 0:00:31.040 not We're not all superman. If you never get sick, 0:00:32.440 --> 0:00:34.440 that's all. It's just a cold, though, it's just a 0:00:34.479 --> 0:00:38.240 head cold. I'll have a forty hours and I'm good. 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:42.720 It'll be another six months till I'm sick again. Meanwhile, 0:00:42.880 --> 0:00:45.320 next Tuesday or tomorrow, you're back. I think I have 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:49.159 a cold. I mean, it's just hard though, because you 0:00:49.159 --> 0:00:51.400 don't know if it's I mean, I don't think you 0:00:51.479 --> 0:00:55.880 have the rhona, because you'd have other symptoms. Correct, you 0:00:55.880 --> 0:00:57.440 don't have a fever, you don't have I mean, you 0:00:57.480 --> 0:00:59.120 have a cough, but it's not like a dry cough. 0:00:59.520 --> 0:01:01.240 I feel like exactly like I do when I have 0:01:01.560 --> 0:01:05.800 any other cold. And I'm chasing him with the thermometer 0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:11.080 gun the lasts. But I'm still here. I'm alive, and 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:14.120 you've been kicking. But this morning with the kids and 0:01:14.160 --> 0:01:17.520 working and let me sleep into like nine. It was awesome. 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:21.480 You're welcome, So I appreciate that. Of course, you know, 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:24.920 mom's gotta do what we gotta do. You know that 0:01:25.040 --> 0:01:28.880 you do. Um, But while you were down and out, 0:01:32.840 --> 0:01:38.319 while you were laying in bed, Uh, you check my 0:01:38.360 --> 0:01:41.360 phone for a little while because I got to catch 0:01:41.440 --> 0:01:44.040 up on Well, you don't have social media, right, so 0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:46.520 I see what's going on in the world besides the news, 0:01:47.080 --> 0:01:55.800 so fill us in. So I saw this thing that was, um, 0:01:56.080 --> 0:02:01.120 kind of some beef between Megan Fox and her I 0:02:01.160 --> 0:02:07.800 guess ex green And it's interesting because, basically, I'll sum 0:02:07.800 --> 0:02:11.519 it up for you. Around Halloween, he posted a picture 0:02:11.520 --> 0:02:15.760 of him and one of their kids on socials. But 0:02:15.880 --> 0:02:18.400 they had had the agreement that they weren't going to 0:02:18.480 --> 0:02:22.639 post their children on social media, and they have three 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:25.560 kids together, so they made that mutual agreement. And now 0:02:25.600 --> 0:02:29.720 that they're separated or not together, he apparently is quote 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:34.120 unquote flaunting it around. And even some of Brian's other 0:02:34.160 --> 0:02:39.800 exes came to Megan's defense, like Marcel wasn't that's his 0:02:39.919 --> 0:02:49.520 ex wife Vanessa? Yes, her? And then Courtney basically that, um, 0:02:49.560 --> 0:02:51.600 he's done this in the past. Where he tries to 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:54.960 flaunt that he's this awesome dad, not saying that he's not, 0:02:55.720 --> 0:03:00.400 but he tries to put this persona on that Megan's 0:03:00.400 --> 0:03:03.160 an absent mother because she didn't post anything and he's 0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:06.680 just like super perfect dad, always engaging with the kids 0:03:06.720 --> 0:03:09.440 because he posted on socials, but the agreement was to 0:03:09.480 --> 0:03:13.239 not post correct so she basically so Megan was like, yeah, 0:03:13.280 --> 0:03:15.360 we agreed on this, and you feel the need to 0:03:15.400 --> 0:03:20.760 just flaunt our children around to make yourself feel better, right, 0:03:20.760 --> 0:03:22.840 and especially now you pulled it up for me the 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:25.280 photo that he posted. She said, it's not hard to 0:03:25.320 --> 0:03:27.720 crop them out, and that's true, like he could have easily, 0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:31.160 like there's enough space to crop out. I think. So 0:03:31.200 --> 0:03:36.680 I have another celebrity couple just got divorced. I can't 0:03:36.720 --> 0:03:38.680 say the name. I don't want to. But she had 0:03:38.720 --> 0:03:41.040 told me their thing was and she would be fine 0:03:41.080 --> 0:03:45.440 to show the face of the kids, but he was 0:03:45.640 --> 0:03:48.960 really against it. So ever since they've been together and 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:52.280 had kids, she covers them up with like a face 0:03:52.480 --> 0:03:55.680 or like a you know, like a strawberry or whatever, 0:03:56.800 --> 0:03:59.680 and so you know, and that's in in or now 0:03:59.800 --> 0:04:02.440 to worse, and she still does it. Because that's the agreement. 0:04:02.560 --> 0:04:06.360 That's what and that's where I feel like I'm on, Like, 0:04:06.440 --> 0:04:09.120 I guess team Megan, because when you make that kind 0:04:09.120 --> 0:04:11.480 of agreement, especially when it's around your kids, whether you're 0:04:11.480 --> 0:04:15.200 together or divorced, that should be something if don't do 0:04:15.240 --> 0:04:17.120 it unless you have a prior conversation like hey, I 0:04:17.120 --> 0:04:19.200 really want to post this really cute picture like doom 0:04:19.320 --> 0:04:22.560 or just something. You know, um, but if the agreements 0:04:22.560 --> 0:04:25.359 in place, I mean, just like my friend could easily 0:04:25.400 --> 0:04:27.119 be like, well, we're divorced now I can do whatever 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:30.120 I want. Like, no, the agreement is like there's a 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:33.800 reason why Megan and this other guy you know on 0:04:33.880 --> 0:04:36.120 my friend's side doesn't want their kids faces being seen. 0:04:36.160 --> 0:04:39.240 Some people just don't look like that for sure, which 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:42.320 is it's their decision. I think it's important whatever the 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:45.680 decision is, as long as people are in agreement, that 0:04:45.680 --> 0:04:48.559 should be respected. I think it's just hard though, when 0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:52.000 because I'm sure, I mean, I don't know outsider here. 0:04:53.480 --> 0:04:55.719 You know, when you go through a divorce, it's really hard, 0:04:55.800 --> 0:04:58.000 you know. I think about like the Army Hammer situation 0:04:58.080 --> 0:05:01.279 where you know his you still has the kids in 0:05:02.560 --> 0:05:04.400 the I don't know where it's at I don't know 0:05:04.400 --> 0:05:10.599 if you saw that story or not, um, but basically there, 0:05:10.640 --> 0:05:12.520 I guess they're kind of having like a little ugly 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:14.640 match about you know, he wants to see the kids 0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:17.520 and the kids are down in some island. I can't 0:05:17.560 --> 0:05:22.480 remember what it is, um, But I just I can't 0:05:22.520 --> 0:05:26.280 imagine those feelings when you're divorced. I mean especially, I mean, shoot, 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:27.919 we talked about in the book, like I'm you know, 0:05:27.920 --> 0:05:29.800 when we were separated, I'm like, I don't want to 0:05:29.800 --> 0:05:32.440 see Jolie until it's on my time, and that's not 0:05:34.200 --> 0:05:39.039 healthy for the kids. But you're just so angry that 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:41.240 it like it makes sense that you might not be 0:05:41.360 --> 0:05:46.000 acting in the best frame of mind and you forget 0:05:46.080 --> 0:05:49.120 that you need to put your kids first, like you 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:51.159 might forget that, like you're you feel like you're putting 0:05:51.160 --> 0:05:54.800 your kids first. But but it's also you're so angry 0:05:54.800 --> 0:05:57.880 at your partner too. Yeah, And what's no matter who 0:05:57.920 --> 0:05:59.800 you are, what's the easiest way to take a jab 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:02.840 of your partner is the kids using the kids, which 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:04.760 is so messed up. But I mean, shoot, I did it. 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:06.320 I mean I was like, no, you can't see Jolly 0:06:06.400 --> 0:06:09.720 until I'm done with dancing with the stars. You know 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:12.160 what's coming up for me right now? Which is interesting, 0:06:13.000 --> 0:06:17.840 like because we're very open and I was, I don't 0:06:18.400 --> 0:06:21.040 I wasn't completely comfortable at the beginning, but I became 0:06:21.080 --> 0:06:26.159 comfortable with it. I'm like scared um with like sharing 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:27.680 the kids so much, but then I was like, you 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:30.720 know what, I was on board with it, and we 0:06:30.839 --> 0:06:35.400 never really uh, I never discussed my reserve reservations around it. 0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:38.600 But I'm all for it and that's our decision as 0:06:38.640 --> 0:06:43.760 a couple. But I'm just playing out of scenario that 0:06:44.960 --> 0:06:49.120 God forbid we got divorced, right And of course you 0:06:49.120 --> 0:06:52.880 think about that, of course you, But I know, I'm 0:06:52.920 --> 0:06:54.359 just like, what's coming up. I'm like me if that 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:59.159 was a situation, because I'm not on social media and 0:06:59.160 --> 0:07:04.520 I wouldn't anticip getting on social media even if we did. Oh, 0:07:04.640 --> 0:07:08.599 I so disagree. You would go on Instagram the day? 0:07:11.280 --> 0:07:16.120 How much you want about right now? Let's let's there's 0:07:16.200 --> 0:07:19.080 just you would I know which photo you would use? 0:07:19.360 --> 0:07:23.320 I know, yeah, the photo that you literally won't look 0:07:23.320 --> 0:07:25.640 at because you think I'm too handsome in it. It's 0:07:25.680 --> 0:07:29.200 just sits and it makes you upset. Literally you can't 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:30.640 look at it because you're like, you're too handsome in 0:07:30.680 --> 0:07:33.600 this picture. But I know exactly the photo you would use, 0:07:33.920 --> 0:07:36.960 and you would be on there just to spite me. 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:40.560 Here's here because you can get spiteful, so can I. 0:07:41.680 --> 0:07:45.720 But because you're so much more interactive on there. A 0:07:45.760 --> 0:07:47.960 big part of why I wouldn't, it's because I would 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:53.240 try to separate myself from your life in regards to 0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:56.400 everything else you have going on besides the kids. So 0:07:57.120 --> 0:08:00.280 seeing my kids on there as much as you know 0:08:00.760 --> 0:08:06.280 we post about them now, that would crush me, Like 0:08:06.320 --> 0:08:10.240 I don't actually if it's like with another man, not 0:08:10.400 --> 0:08:15.239 to like throw like, yeah, that would be a big thing. 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:17.920 But I mean, hey, it's like you can't all. But 0:08:18.080 --> 0:08:19.600 then that's where I would then fight with you to 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:22.800 be like, it's one thing to have the agreement in 0:08:22.840 --> 0:08:25.080 the very beginning, but you can't just be like, well, 0:08:25.080 --> 0:08:28.160 now we're divorced and no, I agree, I agree with you, know, 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:30.640 like you can't share the kids. No, I agree with you. 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:33.360 That's I'm not saying it's it's I'm in the right 0:08:33.720 --> 0:08:36.120 to like demand that, but it's just what's coming up 0:08:36.160 --> 0:08:37.600 for me. I'm like, man, I would have a really 0:08:37.640 --> 0:08:40.679 hard time because I don't have social because I'm not 0:08:40.679 --> 0:08:43.120 I wouldn't be posting things with the kids like and 0:08:43.200 --> 0:08:45.600 so I make up that it would be because you, 0:08:47.360 --> 0:08:52.360 I feel like you're missing that time, and so it's 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:54.760 not even it's not even about you. It's about the 0:08:54.840 --> 0:08:58.839 kids and having the ability to see the time I'm 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:04.800 physically missing with crush me m. So I don't know, 0:09:04.800 --> 0:09:07.040 it's just an it's just an interesting thought that came 0:09:07.040 --> 0:09:09.559 into my head. And feeling that was like I wouldn't 0:09:09.559 --> 0:09:13.600 like that. Yeah, I mean, shoot, I would hate it. 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:15.240 I mean I would do everything in my power to 0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:17.600 I mean, I don't know. I think in the beginning, 0:09:17.679 --> 0:09:20.080 like I always dream about, like I said, we've talked 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:22.520 about before, is having that really healthy relationship. But I 0:09:22.559 --> 0:09:24.920 think unfortunately where you know, the army Hammers and the 0:09:25.559 --> 0:09:28.320 you know, um Brian and Megan, it's just there's so 0:09:28.440 --> 0:09:33.719 much bitterness and hostility that, like you said, unfortunately the 0:09:33.760 --> 0:09:36.479 kids get thrown into it and that and that's really unfortunate. 0:09:36.480 --> 0:09:38.680 But hopefully, you know, I know a lot of parents 0:09:38.760 --> 0:09:41.319 that have been able to do a co parenting therapy 0:09:41.600 --> 0:09:45.280 after divorce, and it's really helpful. For them because they 0:09:45.320 --> 0:09:47.120 can talk about all these things like, hey, can you 0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:50.000 just for the first few months, can you not show 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:52.400 as much? Or can we stick to this agreement? And 0:09:52.440 --> 0:09:55.360 I think having that like discussion could be really helpful 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:57.440 for people, you know, that are going through this. But 0:09:58.720 --> 0:10:00.520 let's take a break and let's we're gonna talk a 0:10:00.520 --> 0:10:04.720 little bit more about kids. Oh yeah, Dance Moms coming up. 0:10:16.240 --> 0:10:19.720 All right, So we're both very excited. And I'm a 0:10:19.760 --> 0:10:22.920 fan by association. You got me into this show because 0:10:22.960 --> 0:10:25.600 you watched it NonStop, so literally I had no choice. 0:10:25.640 --> 0:10:28.200 And then once I started investing time, I was all in. 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:31.480 And to legendary moms, believe you didn't run out of 0:10:31.480 --> 0:10:35.520 the room. He had some things to say, but he's 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:37.880 still stay. A couple of times I think I did, Melissa, 0:10:37.920 --> 0:10:40.320 but then I was just all in. Um, but we 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:44.240 have the wonderful Melissa Gasni and Holly Hatcher Fraser with 0:10:44.320 --> 0:10:49.600 us Dance mom My Dance Moms, So oh my gosh, 0:10:49.600 --> 0:10:53.160 of course, so I um, I was able to meet 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:56.480 the cast of Dance Moms, and of course I was 0:10:56.520 --> 0:10:58.320 so excited to meet the girls because they were just 0:10:58.400 --> 0:11:01.960 precious and you know, they're so sweet but I was 0:11:02.000 --> 0:11:04.000 so excited to meet the moms, and you too are 0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:08.080 just like so sweet, so kind, and I just I 0:11:08.080 --> 0:11:11.000 don't know. I mean, I watched that show from from 0:11:11.040 --> 0:11:13.839 the very beginning because my best friend Katherine was a 0:11:13.960 --> 0:11:17.800 huge fan, and and I just I love I mean, 0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:21.080 I love the drama. I loved the dancing, um the 0:11:21.120 --> 0:11:23.720 Abbey side of things. I was I was so torn 0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:25.520 at times. And then you know, Michael would come in 0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:29.280 because he's got the football background and he's like, it's 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:32.400 like a football coach. Hey, sometimes you need tough love, 0:11:32.760 --> 0:11:34.360 I know, But would you want your daughter to have 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:39.400 that tough Not a chance, not a chance. But I mean, 0:11:39.440 --> 0:11:42.640 I will ask I'll ask this first question, Holly Melissa, 0:11:43.240 --> 0:11:46.200 do you think aspects of that and you don't have 0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:49.120 to personalize it towards towards Abbey, but just aspects of 0:11:49.160 --> 0:11:52.560 that environment have helped your daughters and your children, you know, 0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:56.000 flourish in their young adult life. I will say this. 0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:58.880 I am a mom of two boys and a girl. 0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:01.440 My oldest son is a scene year in college, and 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:05.280 he played football all throughout high school and he went 0:12:05.360 --> 0:12:08.840 to Division one to play football. So I am a 0:12:08.920 --> 0:12:10.840 mom who I'm a dance mom, but I'm also a 0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:13.880 football mom too, and I would say there are things 0:12:13.880 --> 0:12:17.920 that I would see from me a dance experience that 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:20.600 I had never seen on a football field. And I 0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:24.040 mean they were repealed state champions. I'm like, they're tough 0:12:24.040 --> 0:12:27.400 football players something they played well for the state of Pennsylvania. So, 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:33.120 and they're all boys Catholic high school football Southwest Pennsylvania. 0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:35.920 You have thousands of people coming out on Friday nights. 0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:40.040 We re live football dealer Nation here, even on a 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:43.600 high school level. So I'm used big time, big times. 0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:46.559 So and I also as a mom, I believe in 0:12:46.600 --> 0:12:49.680 tough love. I'm an educator. I believe in having high 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:52.280 standards for students and for kids, and they rise to 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:56.400 that level. I think the difference is, I don't want 0:12:56.400 --> 0:12:59.120 to do anything that would be demeaning, and as long 0:12:59.160 --> 0:13:01.720 as that grow, it is coming from out of love 0:13:01.800 --> 0:13:05.720 and you're holding high standards and encouragement and you're not 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:09.400 doing something that's so negative that it kills the spirit 0:13:09.840 --> 0:13:13.200 or is truly cruel. That's the difference. I think that 0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:15.640 those are things. But one of the greatest things that 0:13:15.720 --> 0:13:18.520 came from the show for me, for for Nia watching 0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:21.400 her grow up, she learned how to deal with difficult people. 0:13:21.920 --> 0:13:25.200 And you will work with a lot of difficult people 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:27.120 in life, so she had to learn that at an 0:13:27.160 --> 0:13:30.560 early age. So for me, she knows how to deal 0:13:30.600 --> 0:13:34.520 with some really tough people and whether it's a work environment, 0:13:34.559 --> 0:13:40.280 whether it's a friend's experience. So that's been invaluable me, Lissa, 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:45.480 what about you? Well for my kids, UM, I mean 0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:49.720 I appreciate the opportunity to get that they had absolutely. Um. 0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:54.839 It crushed mackenzie spirit for years. UM. And I'm so 0:13:54.880 --> 0:13:58.040 glad that she has such a great sister and great 0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:02.840 sisters because these girls are they love each other so much. 0:14:02.960 --> 0:14:08.480 And what's great is like Nia, Maddie Mackenzie are so close. 0:14:08.800 --> 0:14:11.360 I actually went to Nia's house just me the other night. 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:15.600 We ordered I watched the election and we just literally 0:14:15.679 --> 0:14:20.960 hung out and we wore matching outfits. By the way. Um. Crazy, 0:14:21.040 --> 0:14:25.680 But my Mackenzie, definitely, her spirit was Um. She hated dance, 0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:31.480 hated it. Um, she had no self esteem. Um. Her 0:14:31.560 --> 0:14:35.080 sister really helped her through that, and UM, tough love 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:39.880 is one thing, but that's not love in my opinion. 0:14:40.280 --> 0:14:43.280 But even Maddie, like Maddie was the favorite. Yeah, that's 0:14:43.320 --> 0:14:44.760 what I was kind of curious on when you talked 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:49.200 about Mackenzie, you know, because Maddie was the quote unquote favorite. 0:14:49.240 --> 0:14:53.080 She was Abby's you know, starn you know, and put 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:55.240 so much of her energy into her. Do you think 0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:58.960 that had that played then a roll to in Mackenzie's 0:14:59.000 --> 0:15:02.280 you know, not wanting to to dance because she's like, 0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:06.160 I can never be as good as my sister, even 0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:08.000 though she was great in her own right now, I 0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:11.440 don't think she really cared honestly. She she didn't even 0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:14.280 care about dance. Honestly. She'd be like, yeah, honestly, she 0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:15.960 could care less. She would just do her solo and 0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:18.680 really didn't care honestly, which was a good thing. And 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:21.920 she's still kind of like that. She's so different, they're 0:15:21.960 --> 0:15:26.720 total opposite, but they balanced each other so well. Um. 0:15:26.880 --> 0:15:32.280 You know, Mackenzie just had her spirit crushed and now 0:15:32.360 --> 0:15:36.640 she has so much confidence. It took her years. Um, 0:15:36.640 --> 0:15:40.880 but she's great. You know, she's a tough, tough kid. 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:44.960 She sticks up for her friends too. Oh my gosh, 0:15:44.960 --> 0:15:48.840 it's crazy. So as so proud of her. I love 0:15:48.880 --> 0:15:51.080 that because she's so sweet and they're both. I mean, 0:15:51.200 --> 0:15:54.200 both of your girls are just you know, are amazing, 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:56.480 Like I love Nia, I love Maddie, I love Mackenzie. 0:15:56.480 --> 0:15:58.720 Like they're they're also kind and what they put out 0:15:58.720 --> 0:16:00.720 in the universe and on their Instagram, I'm in socials 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:03.240 and they're just there. You can tell that you know 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:07.080 they were raised right. And I feel like as a 0:16:07.160 --> 0:16:12.320 mom my, my biggest fear is my is Jolie, because 0:16:12.480 --> 0:16:18.960 I don't know how to like sometimes I'll say this, 0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:20.960 the one fear that I have is that I'm always 0:16:21.000 --> 0:16:22.360 going to be like, don't do this? Why are you 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:25.200 doing this? And I'm like almost like nitpicking at her 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:27.920 sometimes and I can sense myself being like and she's 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:29.800 only you know, she's gonna be five. But I can 0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:33.400 still sense where I'm like, you know, do this right 0:16:33.480 --> 0:16:35.920 or do and and so I worry about that, And 0:16:35.960 --> 0:16:38.360 then I also weary on the other side how to 0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:41.360 be a better mom in the area of when she 0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:44.960 does get disappointed, Like I'm so scared, like how to 0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:47.600 you know, help her? Do I help her cry through it? 0:16:47.680 --> 0:16:49.800 Do I do? I just let her grieve any loss 0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:52.400 that she deals with the friendship or or a bully 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:54.720 at school or I mean, like I just I'm so, 0:16:55.480 --> 0:16:57.400 I don't know. I'm not havening't been there yet as 0:16:57.440 --> 0:17:00.200 a mother, so I would love some insight from me 0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:03.600 on how to deal with kind of both of those 0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:06.720 areas in the arena. I wish I could go back 0:17:06.760 --> 0:17:11.119 a little bit, because I remember the girls being really 0:17:11.200 --> 0:17:15.000 young and coming home and making sure they did their 0:17:15.000 --> 0:17:18.160 homework perfect, and like Maddie, if she had an erase 0:17:18.280 --> 0:17:21.240 mark on her page, she would start all over. And 0:17:21.840 --> 0:17:25.200 I feel like that was maybe me. I don't know, 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:28.080 because Kenzie was never like that, but um, I wish 0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:30.760 I didn't care so much about little things when the 0:17:30.800 --> 0:17:35.360 girls were little, because who cares if their project was perfect? 0:17:35.400 --> 0:17:38.879 Like Mackenzie would have a project in school and Maddie 0:17:38.880 --> 0:17:40.560 would say, oh, no, I'm doing it for you, it 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:43.640 has to be perfect, and I'm like, oh my goodness. 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:45.720 You know. I wish I can go back and just 0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:49.240 let them be more kids and not worry about the 0:17:49.280 --> 0:17:52.240 small stuff about my kitchen being cleaned or the laundry 0:17:52.280 --> 0:17:55.520 being done. I wish I would have never cared about 0:17:55.520 --> 0:17:59.080 that stuff. That's my biggest regret, as you know, a 0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:03.040 young you when the girls were younger yea, and Melissa's right. 0:18:03.080 --> 0:18:05.560 When you're a mom at any stage, there is no 0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:08.720 rule book for being a mom. So I have found 0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:11.840 that as my kids are getting older and my oldest 0:18:11.920 --> 0:18:14.560 will be twenty two this month, is that the needs 0:18:14.560 --> 0:18:16.440 and my role as a mother will change and things 0:18:16.440 --> 0:18:19.240 which I thought when he was five, which were stuck 0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:21.720 to the biggest issues I'll ever have to face as 0:18:21.760 --> 0:18:24.359 a mother have changed as he gets older and he 0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:27.440 still needs me, but that it's just different. And one 0:18:27.480 --> 0:18:30.359 of the things that I learned as a as a 0:18:30.400 --> 0:18:33.200 parent and even as an educator to when parents would 0:18:33.240 --> 0:18:34.959 come to me because they get word you don't ever 0:18:35.000 --> 0:18:39.560 want to see a child they'll fault, get hurt like 0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:42.159 that is like the best crushing firm letter, who never 0:18:42.240 --> 0:18:44.440 want to see your child or any parents get see 0:18:44.440 --> 0:18:46.960 your child hurt. But part of the issues that you 0:18:47.040 --> 0:18:50.720 can't protect your children from those emotions and those experiences. 0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:54.040 They have to live them, they have to grow through them. 0:18:54.119 --> 0:18:56.040 So they learned how to do that on their own, 0:18:56.080 --> 0:18:59.840 because that's how they become young adults and people and 0:19:00.119 --> 0:19:03.280 have to learn how to manage those expectations and experiences. 0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:06.720 So you can't live their lives for them. And I'm 0:19:06.760 --> 0:19:09.000 a big believer in the blessing of a skink me. 0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:11.879 I don't want them to come up a broken bone, 0:19:12.040 --> 0:19:15.560 but you know a skin me, you'll love of a skinny. 0:19:15.760 --> 0:19:17.679 So there are things that will happen in life, and 0:19:17.680 --> 0:19:21.200 you're just like, all right, what you learned from that experience, 0:19:21.880 --> 0:19:24.639 how can we make sure that doesn't happen again. It hurts, 0:19:25.000 --> 0:19:27.880 but you will survive. And so there's a great book 0:19:27.880 --> 0:19:30.639 called Blessing of a Skinney by Wendy mogul I was 0:19:30.880 --> 0:19:34.360 highly recommended. But just that philosophy of life, I just 0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:38.560 that's my mantra. I love that. And I think that 0:19:38.600 --> 0:19:41.199 the kids need you more later in life than they 0:19:41.240 --> 0:19:43.679 do in the beginning. I mean, they need you absolutely, 0:19:43.720 --> 0:19:46.120 you need to do everything for them, but I think 0:19:46.119 --> 0:19:48.040 that you just don't have to sweat the small stuff 0:19:48.040 --> 0:19:50.639 and they're younger, because when they're older, I feel that 0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:55.040 they need you so much more. Through breakups and you know, 0:19:55.119 --> 0:19:58.520 first loves is oh it's weight, Oh my gosh, damn. 0:19:59.119 --> 0:20:02.919 Like I'm just I'm already like, oh, I remember my 0:20:03.000 --> 0:20:05.600 first breakup? Yeah I didn't. I just I don't want 0:20:05.640 --> 0:20:07.119 her to I don't want her heart to hurt, like 0:20:07.160 --> 0:20:09.840 I might go kill the kid. You know, I might 0:20:09.960 --> 0:20:13.200 show up at his door with the you know, Holly, 0:20:13.240 --> 0:20:15.280 and I can help you through that one because to 0:20:15.280 --> 0:20:19.840 her and I've helped each other through it, Yes, for 0:20:19.960 --> 0:20:23.400 both our kids, and it was not harnessed. Oh my gosh. 0:20:23.680 --> 0:20:28.359 I cried like my heart was broken, Like I'm gonna 0:20:28.400 --> 0:20:30.200 be like give me your phone and I'm gonna just 0:20:30.960 --> 0:20:33.200 being a war with like the kids. I'll tell you what, 0:20:33.280 --> 0:20:36.320 Julian Jason's significant others, they don't have to worry about 0:20:36.320 --> 0:20:39.000 being scared to me. Once they get to know, they're 0:20:39.040 --> 0:20:42.000 going to be terrified. Like have you seen Jolie's mom, 0:20:42.160 --> 0:20:46.640 She is terrified. I'm gonna be Gemma on Sons of Anarchy. Well, 0:20:46.680 --> 0:20:49.399 it's funny. I had a sign on my door. M 0:20:49.600 --> 0:20:52.280 went because we I'm the kid house. Everybody comes to 0:20:52.320 --> 0:20:55.399 my house, and it said no drugs, no vapes, no sex, 0:20:55.480 --> 0:20:59.240 no alcohol, just fun. And it was like on my 0:20:59.320 --> 0:21:01.240 door and I wrote it to Marker and the kids 0:21:01.280 --> 0:21:04.280 are scared of me, which is good. I'm happy with that. 0:21:06.320 --> 0:21:07.800 Let me ask both of you this because this is 0:21:07.960 --> 0:21:10.840 a point of not contention between Jenna and I but 0:21:10.920 --> 0:21:13.399 we have a little bit different of a philosophy. Right, 0:21:13.480 --> 0:21:16.880 So both of you have these you know, wonderful children 0:21:17.000 --> 0:21:20.000 and also these daughters that have been in the limelight 0:21:20.040 --> 0:21:23.880 for some years now and are blossoming continuing to blossom 0:21:23.920 --> 0:21:27.840 in you know, areas with attention and limelight and notoriety. 0:21:28.920 --> 0:21:33.280 How do you what's like your perspective on traditional education 0:21:34.040 --> 0:21:36.560 and also allowing your kids to follow their dreams because 0:21:36.680 --> 0:21:39.840 I'm I come from a conservative family, Like you know, 0:21:40.440 --> 0:21:42.280 they had the same job for thirty years. You go 0:21:42.359 --> 0:21:44.200 to college, you get your degree, you put you know, 0:21:44.240 --> 0:21:47.480 blue collar, and Janna left home at eighteen and went 0:21:47.600 --> 0:21:49.720 and chased your dreams. Now I chase my dreams too, 0:21:49.760 --> 0:21:52.480 but football you can do all those things while you 0:21:52.560 --> 0:21:56.159 chase it. Like, how do you like, We're just I 0:21:56.160 --> 0:21:57.720 don't know how we're gonna do it because jann is 0:21:57.760 --> 0:21:59.080 just you know, she's like, well, if they don't want 0:21:59.119 --> 0:22:00.440 to go to college, they don't have to go to college. 0:22:00.760 --> 0:22:02.240 And I'm like, no, they at least need to go 0:22:02.280 --> 0:22:04.680 to college and set themselves up. And so how do 0:22:04.720 --> 0:22:06.520 you guys deal with that? With the with these you know, 0:22:06.600 --> 0:22:09.280 amazing kids and kind of the path that they're on. 0:22:11.000 --> 0:22:14.600 It's an interesting thing for me, and it's I'm biased 0:22:14.600 --> 0:22:17.840 because I'm an educator. My doctorate is from PEN. I 0:22:17.840 --> 0:22:20.440 have a doctor in educational leadership. I was a principal, 0:22:20.760 --> 0:22:25.520 So I very biased on this subject. That being said, 0:22:25.720 --> 0:22:29.119 I surprised myself in many ways as especially with me 0:22:29.160 --> 0:22:33.200