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Speaker 1: Wind Down and radio podcast. Mike's getting over the man

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Speaker 1: cold right now. I don't want to hear it. What

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Speaker 1: do you mean, he's um, it's just so funny. I

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Speaker 1: just I love it. I love a man cold. I

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Speaker 1: find it. I don't know, I just find it funny

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Speaker 1: now because you realize we're human and that we're all

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Speaker 1: not We're not all superman. If you never get sick,

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Speaker 1: that's all. It's just a cold, though, it's just a

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Speaker 1: head cold. I'll have a forty hours and I'm good.

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Speaker 1: It'll be another six months till I'm sick again. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: next Tuesday or tomorrow, you're back. I think I have

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Speaker 1: a cold. I mean, it's just hard though, because you

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Speaker 1: don't know if it's I mean, I don't think you

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Speaker 1: have the rhona, because you'd have other symptoms. Correct, you

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Speaker 1: don't have a fever, you don't have I mean, you

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Speaker 1: have a cough, but it's not like a dry cough.

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Speaker 1: I feel like exactly like I do when I have

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Speaker 1: any other cold. And I'm chasing him with the thermometer

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Speaker 1: gun the lasts. But I'm still here. I'm alive, and

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Speaker 1: you've been kicking. But this morning with the kids and

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Speaker 1: working and let me sleep into like nine. It was awesome.

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Speaker 1: You're welcome, So I appreciate that. Of course, you know,

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Speaker 1: mom's gotta do what we gotta do. You know that

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Speaker 1: you do. Um, But while you were down and out,

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Speaker 1: while you were laying in bed, Uh, you check my

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Speaker 1: phone for a little while because I got to catch

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Speaker 1: up on Well, you don't have social media, right, so

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Speaker 1: I see what's going on in the world besides the news,

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Speaker 1: so fill us in. So I saw this thing that was, um,

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Speaker 1: kind of some beef between Megan Fox and her I

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Speaker 1: guess ex green And it's interesting because, basically, I'll sum

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Speaker 1: it up for you. Around Halloween, he posted a picture

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Speaker 1: of him and one of their kids on socials. But

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Speaker 1: they had had the agreement that they weren't going to

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Speaker 1: post their children on social media, and they have three

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Speaker 1: kids together, so they made that mutual agreement. And now

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Speaker 1: that they're separated or not together, he apparently is quote

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Speaker 1: unquote flaunting it around. And even some of Brian's other

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Speaker 1: exes came to Megan's defense, like Marcel wasn't that's his

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Speaker 1: ex wife Vanessa? Yes, her? And then Courtney basically that, um,

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Speaker 1: he's done this in the past. Where he tries to

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Speaker 1: flaunt that he's this awesome dad, not saying that he's not,

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Speaker 1: but he tries to put this persona on that Megan's

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Speaker 1: an absent mother because she didn't post anything and he's

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Speaker 1: just like super perfect dad, always engaging with the kids

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Speaker 1: because he posted on socials, but the agreement was to

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Speaker 1: not post correct so she basically so Megan was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we agreed on this, and you feel the need to

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Speaker 1: just flaunt our children around to make yourself feel better, right,

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Speaker 1: and especially now you pulled it up for me the

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Speaker 1: photo that he posted. She said, it's not hard to

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Speaker 1: crop them out, and that's true, like he could have easily,

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Speaker 1: like there's enough space to crop out. I think. So

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Speaker 1: I have another celebrity couple just got divorced. I can't

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Speaker 1: say the name. I don't want to. But she had

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Speaker 1: told me their thing was and she would be fine

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Speaker 1: to show the face of the kids, but he was

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Speaker 1: really against it. So ever since they've been together and

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Speaker 1: had kids, she covers them up with like a face

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Speaker 1: or like a you know, like a strawberry or whatever,

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Speaker 1: and so you know, and that's in in or now

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Speaker 1: to worse, and she still does it. Because that's the agreement.

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Speaker 1: That's what and that's where I feel like I'm on, Like,

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Speaker 1: I guess team Megan, because when you make that kind

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Speaker 1: of agreement, especially when it's around your kids, whether you're

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Speaker 1: together or divorced, that should be something if don't do

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Speaker 1: it unless you have a prior conversation like hey, I

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Speaker 1: really want to post this really cute picture like doom

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Speaker 1: or just something. You know, um, but if the agreements

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Speaker 1: in place, I mean, just like my friend could easily

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Speaker 1: be like, well, we're divorced now I can do whatever

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Speaker 1: I want. Like, no, the agreement is like there's a

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Speaker 1: reason why Megan and this other guy you know on

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Speaker 1: my friend's side doesn't want their kids faces being seen.

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Speaker 1: Some people just don't look like that for sure, which

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Speaker 1: is it's their decision. I think it's important whatever the

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Speaker 1: decision is, as long as people are in agreement, that

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Speaker 1: should be respected. I think it's just hard though, when

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Speaker 1: because I'm sure, I mean, I don't know outsider here.

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Speaker 1: You know, when you go through a divorce, it's really hard,

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Speaker 1: you know. I think about like the Army Hammer situation

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Speaker 1: where you know his you still has the kids in

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Speaker 1: the I don't know where it's at I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you saw that story or not, um, but basically there,

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Speaker 1: I guess they're kind of having like a little ugly

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Speaker 1: match about you know, he wants to see the kids

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Speaker 1: and the kids are down in some island. I can't

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Speaker 1: remember what it is, um, But I just I can't

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Speaker 1: imagine those feelings when you're divorced. I mean especially, I mean, shoot,

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Speaker 1: we talked about in the book, like I'm you know,

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Speaker 1: when we were separated, I'm like, I don't want to

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Speaker 1: see Jolie until it's on my time, and that's not

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Speaker 1: healthy for the kids. But you're just so angry that

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Speaker 1: it like it makes sense that you might not be

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Speaker 1: acting in the best frame of mind and you forget

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Speaker 1: that you need to put your kids first, like you

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Speaker 1: might forget that, like you're you feel like you're putting

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Speaker 1: your kids first. But but it's also you're so angry

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Speaker 1: at your partner too. Yeah, And what's no matter who

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Speaker 1: you are, what's the easiest way to take a jab

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Speaker 1: of your partner is the kids using the kids, which

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Speaker 1: is so messed up. But I mean, shoot, I did it.

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Speaker 1: I mean I was like, no, you can't see Jolly

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Speaker 1: until I'm done with dancing with the stars. You know

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Speaker 1: what's coming up for me right now? Which is interesting,

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Speaker 1: like because we're very open and I was, I don't

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Speaker 1: I wasn't completely comfortable at the beginning, but I became

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Speaker 1: comfortable with it. I'm like scared um with like sharing

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Speaker 1: the kids so much, but then I was like, you

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Speaker 1: know what, I was on board with it, and we

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Speaker 1: never really uh, I never discussed my reserve reservations around it.

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Speaker 1: But I'm all for it and that's our decision as

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Speaker 1: a couple. But I'm just playing out of scenario that

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Speaker 1: God forbid we got divorced, right And of course you

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Speaker 1: think about that, of course you, But I know, I'm

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Speaker 1: just like, what's coming up. I'm like me if that

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Speaker 1: was a situation, because I'm not on social media and

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't anticip getting on social media even if we did. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I so disagree. You would go on Instagram the day?

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Speaker 1: How much you want about right now? Let's let's there's

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Speaker 1: just you would I know which photo you would use?

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Speaker 1: I know, yeah, the photo that you literally won't look

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Speaker 1: at because you think I'm too handsome in it. It's

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Speaker 1: just sits and it makes you upset. Literally you can't

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Speaker 1: look at it because you're like, you're too handsome in

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Speaker 1: this picture. But I know exactly the photo you would use,

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Speaker 1: and you would be on there just to spite me.

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Speaker 1: Here's here because you can get spiteful, so can I.

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Speaker 1: But because you're so much more interactive on there. A

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Speaker 1: big part of why I wouldn't, it's because I would

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Speaker 1: try to separate myself from your life in regards to

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Speaker 1: everything else you have going on besides the kids. So

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Speaker 1: seeing my kids on there as much as you know

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Speaker 1: we post about them now, that would crush me, Like

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Speaker 1: I don't actually if it's like with another man, not

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Speaker 1: to like throw like, yeah, that would be a big thing.

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Speaker 1: But I mean, hey, it's like you can't all. But

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Speaker 1: then that's where I would then fight with you to

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Speaker 1: be like, it's one thing to have the agreement in

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Speaker 1: the very beginning, but you can't just be like, well,

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Speaker 1: now we're divorced and no, I agree, I agree with you, know,

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Speaker 1: like you can't share the kids. No, I agree with you.

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Speaker 1: That's I'm not saying it's it's I'm in the right

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Speaker 1: to like demand that, but it's just what's coming up

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Speaker 1: for me. I'm like, man, I would have a really

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Speaker 1: hard time because I don't have social because I'm not

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't be posting things with the kids like and

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Speaker 1: so I make up that it would be because you,

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Speaker 1: I feel like you're missing that time, and so it's

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Speaker 1: not even it's not even about you. It's about the

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Speaker 1: kids and having the ability to see the time I'm

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Speaker 1: physically missing with crush me m. So I don't know,

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Speaker 1: it's just an it's just an interesting thought that came

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Speaker 1: into my head. And feeling that was like I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, I mean, shoot, I would hate it.

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Speaker 1: I mean I would do everything in my power to

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Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. I think in the beginning,

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Speaker 1: like I always dream about, like I said, we've talked

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Speaker 1: about before, is having that really healthy relationship. But I

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Speaker 1: think unfortunately where you know, the army Hammers and the

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Speaker 1: you know, um Brian and Megan, it's just there's so

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Speaker 1: much bitterness and hostility that, like you said, unfortunately the

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Speaker 1: kids get thrown into it and that and that's really unfortunate.

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Speaker 1: But hopefully, you know, I know a lot of parents

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Speaker 1: that have been able to do a co parenting therapy

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Speaker 1: after divorce, and it's really helpful. For them because they

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Speaker 1: can talk about all these things like, hey, can you

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Speaker 1: just for the first few months, can you not show

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Speaker 1: as much? Or can we stick to this agreement? And

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Speaker 1: I think having that like discussion could be really helpful

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Speaker 1: for people, you know, that are going through this. But

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Speaker 1: let's take a break and let's we're gonna talk a

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Speaker 1: little bit more about kids. Oh yeah, Dance Moms coming up.

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Speaker 1: All right, So we're both very excited. And I'm a

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Speaker 1: fan by association. You got me into this show because

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Speaker 1: you watched it NonStop, so literally I had no choice.

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Speaker 1: And then once I started investing time, I was all in.

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Speaker 1: And to legendary moms, believe you didn't run out of

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Speaker 1: the room. He had some things to say, but he's

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Speaker 1: still stay. A couple of times I think I did, Melissa,

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Speaker 1: but then I was just all in. Um, but we

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Speaker 1: have the wonderful Melissa Gasni and Holly Hatcher Fraser with

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Speaker 1: us Dance mom My Dance Moms, So oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: of course, so I um, I was able to meet

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Speaker 1: the cast of Dance Moms, and of course I was

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Speaker 1: so excited to meet the girls because they were just

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Speaker 1: precious and you know, they're so sweet but I was

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Speaker 1: so excited to meet the moms, and you too are

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Speaker 1: just like so sweet, so kind, and I just I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, I watched that show from from

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Speaker 1: the very beginning because my best friend Katherine was a

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Speaker 1: huge fan, and and I just I love I mean,

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Speaker 1: I love the drama. I loved the dancing, um the

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Speaker 1: Abbey side of things. I was I was so torn

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Speaker 1: at times. And then you know, Michael would come in

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Speaker 1: because he's got the football background and he's like, it's

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Speaker 1: like a football coach. Hey, sometimes you need tough love,

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Speaker 1: I know, But would you want your daughter to have

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Speaker 1: that tough Not a chance, not a chance. But I mean,

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Speaker 1: I will ask I'll ask this first question, Holly Melissa,

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Speaker 1: do you think aspects of that and you don't have

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Speaker 1: to personalize it towards towards Abbey, but just aspects of

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Speaker 1: that environment have helped your daughters and your children, you know,

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Speaker 1: flourish in their young adult life. I will say this.

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Speaker 1: I am a mom of two boys and a girl.

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Speaker 1: My oldest son is a scene year in college, and

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Speaker 1: he played football all throughout high school and he went

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Speaker 1: to Division one to play football. So I am a

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Speaker 1: mom who I'm a dance mom, but I'm also a

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Speaker 1: football mom too, and I would say there are things

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Speaker 1: that I would see from me a dance experience that

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Speaker 1: I had never seen on a football field. And I

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Speaker 1: mean they were repealed state champions. I'm like, they're tough

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Speaker 1: football players something they played well for the state of Pennsylvania. So,

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Speaker 1: and they're all boys Catholic high school football Southwest Pennsylvania.

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Speaker 1: You have thousands of people coming out on Friday nights.

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Speaker 1: We re live football dealer Nation here, even on a

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Speaker 1: high school level. So I'm used big time, big times.

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Speaker 1: So and I also as a mom, I believe in

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Speaker 1: tough love. I'm an educator. I believe in having high

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Speaker 1: standards for students and for kids, and they rise to

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Speaker 1: that level. I think the difference is, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to do anything that would be demeaning, and as long

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Speaker 1: as that grow, it is coming from out of love

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Speaker 1: and you're holding high standards and encouragement and you're not

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Speaker 1: doing something that's so negative that it kills the spirit

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Speaker 1: or is truly cruel. That's the difference. I think that

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Speaker 1: those are things. But one of the greatest things that

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Speaker 1: came from the show for me, for for Nia watching

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Speaker 1: her grow up, she learned how to deal with difficult people.

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Speaker 1: And you will work with a lot of difficult people

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Speaker 1: in life, so she had to learn that at an

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Speaker 1: early age. So for me, she knows how to deal

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Speaker 1: with some really tough people and whether it's a work environment,

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Speaker 1: whether it's a friend's experience. So that's been invaluable me, Lissa,

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Speaker 1: what about you? Well for my kids, UM, I mean

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Speaker 1: I appreciate the opportunity to get that they had absolutely. Um.

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Speaker 1: It crushed mackenzie spirit for years. UM. And I'm so

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Speaker 1: glad that she has such a great sister and great

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Speaker 1: sisters because these girls are they love each other so much.

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Speaker 1: And what's great is like Nia, Maddie Mackenzie are so close.

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Speaker 1: I actually went to Nia's house just me the other night.

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Speaker 1: We ordered I watched the election and we just literally

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Speaker 1: hung out and we wore matching outfits. By the way. Um. Crazy,

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Speaker 1: But my Mackenzie, definitely, her spirit was Um. She hated dance,

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Speaker 1: hated it. Um, she had no self esteem. Um. Her

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Speaker 1: sister really helped her through that, and UM, tough love

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Speaker 1: is one thing, but that's not love in my opinion.

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Speaker 1: But even Maddie, like Maddie was the favorite. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: what I was kind of curious on when you talked

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Speaker 1: about Mackenzie, you know, because Maddie was the quote unquote favorite.

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Speaker 1: She was Abby's you know, starn you know, and put

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Speaker 1: so much of her energy into her. Do you think

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Speaker 1: that had that played then a roll to in Mackenzie's

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Speaker 1: you know, not wanting to to dance because she's like,

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Speaker 1: I can never be as good as my sister, even

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Speaker 1: though she was great in her own right now, I

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Speaker 1: don't think she really cared honestly. She she didn't even

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Speaker 1: care about dance. Honestly. She'd be like, yeah, honestly, she

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Speaker 1: could care less. She would just do her solo and

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Speaker 1: really didn't care honestly, which was a good thing. And

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Speaker 1: she's still kind of like that. She's so different, they're

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Speaker 1: total opposite, but they balanced each other so well. Um.

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Speaker 1: You know, Mackenzie just had her spirit crushed and now

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Speaker 1: she has so much confidence. It took her years. Um,

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Speaker 1: but she's great. You know, she's a tough, tough kid.

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Speaker 1: She sticks up for her friends too. Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: it's crazy. So as so proud of her. I love

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Speaker 1: that because she's so sweet and they're both. I mean,

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Speaker 1: both of your girls are just you know, are amazing,

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Speaker 1: Like I love Nia, I love Maddie, I love Mackenzie.

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Speaker 1: Like they're they're also kind and what they put out

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Speaker 1: in the universe and on their Instagram, I'm in socials

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Speaker 1: and they're just there. You can tell that you know

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Speaker 1: they were raised right. And I feel like as a

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Speaker 1: mom my, my biggest fear is my is Jolie, because

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Speaker 1: I don't know how to like sometimes I'll say this,

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Speaker 1: the one fear that I have is that I'm always

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Speaker 1: going to be like, don't do this? Why are you

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Speaker 1: doing this? And I'm like almost like nitpicking at her

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Speaker 1: sometimes and I can sense myself being like and she's

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Speaker 1: only you know, she's gonna be five. But I can

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Speaker 1: still sense where I'm like, you know, do this right

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Speaker 1: or do and and so I worry about that, And

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Speaker 1: then I also weary on the other side how to

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Speaker 1: be a better mom in the area of when she

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Speaker 1: does get disappointed, Like I'm so scared, like how to

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Speaker 1: you know, help her? Do I help her cry through it?

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Speaker 1: Do I do? I just let her grieve any loss

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Speaker 1: that she deals with the friendship or or a bully

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Speaker 1: at school or I mean, like I just I'm so,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm not havening't been there yet as

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Speaker 1: a mother, so I would love some insight from me

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Speaker 1: on how to deal with kind of both of those

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Speaker 1: areas in the arena. I wish I could go back

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Speaker 1: a little bit, because I remember the girls being really

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Speaker 1: young and coming home and making sure they did their

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Speaker 1: homework perfect, and like Maddie, if she had an erase

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Speaker 1: mark on her page, she would start all over. And

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Speaker 1: I feel like that was maybe me. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: because Kenzie was never like that, but um, I wish

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Speaker 1: I didn't care so much about little things when the

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Speaker 1: girls were little, because who cares if their project was perfect?

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Speaker 1: Like Mackenzie would have a project in school and Maddie

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Speaker 1: would say, oh, no, I'm doing it for you, it

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Speaker 1: has to be perfect, and I'm like, oh my goodness.

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Speaker 1: You know. I wish I can go back and just

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Speaker 1: let them be more kids and not worry about the

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Speaker 1: small stuff about my kitchen being cleaned or the laundry

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Speaker 1: being done. I wish I would have never cared about

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Speaker 1: that stuff. That's my biggest regret, as you know, a

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Speaker 1: young you when the girls were younger yea, and Melissa's right.

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Speaker 1: When you're a mom at any stage, there is no

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Speaker 1: rule book for being a mom. So I have found

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Speaker 1: that as my kids are getting older and my oldest

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Speaker 1: will be twenty two this month, is that the needs

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Speaker 1: and my role as a mother will change and things

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Speaker 1: which I thought when he was five, which were stuck

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Speaker 1: to the biggest issues I'll ever have to face as

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Speaker 1: a mother have changed as he gets older and he

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Speaker 1: still needs me, but that it's just different. And one

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Speaker 1: of the things that I learned as a as a

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Speaker 1: parent and even as an educator to when parents would

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Speaker 1: come to me because they get word you don't ever

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Speaker 1: want to see a child they'll fault, get hurt like

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Speaker 1: that is like the best crushing firm letter, who never

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Speaker 1: want to see your child or any parents get see

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Speaker 1: your child hurt. But part of the issues that you

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Speaker 1: can't protect your children from those emotions and those experiences.

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Speaker 1: They have to live them, they have to grow through them.

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Speaker 1: So they learned how to do that on their own,

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Speaker 1: because that's how they become young adults and people and

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Speaker 1: have to learn how to manage those expectations and experiences.

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Speaker 1: So you can't live their lives for them. And I'm

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Speaker 1: a big believer in the blessing of a skink me.

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Speaker 1: I don't want them to come up a broken bone,

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Speaker 1: but you know a skin me, you'll love of a skinny.

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Speaker 1: So there are things that will happen in life, and

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Speaker 1: you're just like, all right, what you learned from that experience,

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Speaker 1: how can we make sure that doesn't happen again. It hurts,

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Speaker 1: but you will survive. And so there's a great book

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Speaker 1: called Blessing of a Skinney by Wendy mogul I was

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Speaker 1: highly recommended. But just that philosophy of life, I just

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Speaker 1: that's my mantra. I love that. And I think that

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Speaker 1: the kids need you more later in life than they

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Speaker 1: do in the beginning. I mean, they need you absolutely,

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Speaker 1: you need to do everything for them, but I think

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Speaker 1: that you just don't have to sweat the small stuff

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Speaker 1: and they're younger, because when they're older, I feel that

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Speaker 1: they need you so much more. Through breakups and you know,

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Speaker 1: first loves is oh it's weight, Oh my gosh, damn.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm just I'm already like, oh, I remember my

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Speaker 1: first breakup? Yeah I didn't. I just I don't want

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Speaker 1: her to I don't want her heart to hurt, like

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Speaker 1: I might go kill the kid. You know, I might

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Speaker 1: show up at his door with the you know, Holly,

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Speaker 1: and I can help you through that one because to

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Speaker 1: her and I've helped each other through it, Yes, for

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Speaker 1: both our kids, and it was not harnessed. Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: I cried like my heart was broken, Like I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: be like give me your phone and I'm gonna just

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Speaker 1: being a war with like the kids. I'll tell you what,

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Speaker 1: Julian Jason's significant others, they don't have to worry about

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Speaker 1: being scared to me. Once they get to know, they're

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Speaker 1: going to be terrified. Like have you seen Jolie's mom,

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Speaker 1: She is terrified. I'm gonna be Gemma on Sons of Anarchy. Well,

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Speaker 1: it's funny. I had a sign on my door. M

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Speaker 1: went because we I'm the kid house. Everybody comes to

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Speaker 1: my house, and it said no drugs, no vapes, no sex,

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Speaker 1: no alcohol, just fun. And it was like on my

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Speaker 1: door and I wrote it to Marker and the kids

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Speaker 1: are scared of me, which is good. I'm happy with that.

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Speaker 1: Let me ask both of you this because this is

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Speaker 1: a point of not contention between Jenna and I but

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Speaker 1: we have a little bit different of a philosophy. Right,

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Speaker 1: So both of you have these you know, wonderful children

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Speaker 1: and also these daughters that have been in the limelight

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Speaker 1: for some years now and are blossoming continuing to blossom

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Speaker 1: in you know, areas with attention and limelight and notoriety.

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Speaker 1: How do you what's like your perspective on traditional education

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Speaker 1: and also allowing your kids to follow their dreams because

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Speaker 1: I'm I come from a conservative family, Like you know,

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Speaker 1: they had the same job for thirty years. You go

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Speaker 1: to college, you get your degree, you put you know,

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Speaker 1: blue collar, and Janna left home at eighteen and went

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Speaker 1: and chased your dreams. Now I chase my dreams too,

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Speaker 1: but football you can do all those things while you

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Speaker 1: chase it. Like, how do you like, We're just I

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Speaker 1: don't know how we're gonna do it because jann is

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Speaker 1: just you know, she's like, well, if they don't want

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Speaker 1: to go to college, they don't have to go to college.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, they at least need to go

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Speaker 1: to college and set themselves up. And so how do

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Speaker 1: you guys deal with that? With the with these you know,

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Speaker 1: amazing kids and kind of the path that they're on.

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Speaker 1: It's an interesting thing for me, and it's I'm biased

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Speaker 1: because I'm an educator. My doctorate is from PEN. I

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Speaker 1: have a doctor in educational leadership. I was a principal,

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Speaker 1: So I very biased on this subject. That being said,

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Speaker 1: I surprised myself in many ways as especially with me

401
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Speaker 1: and my boys are all traditional UM there. They went

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Speaker 1: to UM. They were private educated. They Catholic school high

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Speaker 1: school for them, all boys, which has been great, wonderful experience.

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Speaker 1: Never UM a question what they were going on a college.

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Speaker 1: But my husband also he has his master's treat We

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Speaker 1: believe in education. Education is highly highly important in our family.

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Speaker 1: That being said, it also is important in our family

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Speaker 1: that they don't think that they need a degree to

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Speaker 1: be educated. My wort for me, having a purposeful and

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Speaker 1: meaningful life means more to me than anything else. Being

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Speaker 1: a positive member of a community. It is more important

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Speaker 1: than having a piece of paper and being a jerk.

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Speaker 1: So I want you to be educated about light and

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Speaker 1: how you can make the world a better place and

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Speaker 1: how do you contribute and be a good citizen in

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Speaker 1: the world. So for Nia who was in middle school

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Speaker 1: and when the school, when the show moved to l A.

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Speaker 1: We were faced with a problem. She couldn't stay in

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Speaker 1: regular school. She was up and she was reading with

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Speaker 1: school up to that point. And I was debating how

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Speaker 1: I was going to handle this, and my my brother

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Speaker 1: was like, Holly, who's a principle as well? Like your principal,

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Speaker 1: you have overseen the curriculm hundreds of kids. Truly, you

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00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 1: can educate one. And I never thought of it that

425
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 1: way before. Yes, a good point. I can do that.

426
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,199
Speaker 1: I didn't teach Nia, but I could make sure that

427
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 1: she understood the value of education. So when it came

428
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,399
Speaker 1: time today, senior year in high school, and she just

429
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 1: said she wasn't sure if she was gonna go to college,

430
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 1: I was able to support that, and I was like,

431
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:14,960
Speaker 1: that's fine. I value that. That's her decision. It's college

432
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 1: is not for everyone. It doesn't make her any lesson

433
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 1: from person, and if she decides to go there later on,

434
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:24,200
Speaker 1: so be it. I don't. She has to live her

435
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,479
Speaker 1: life her way, and so we gave her that up.

436
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 1: But you need to figure out. She was going to

437
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:31,639
Speaker 1: a gap year, and she applied to all the University

438
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 1: of California schools. She got in to u C L

439
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,719
Speaker 1: a and surprised us all and she decided to go

440
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 1: right who's there now? So you just kind of have

441
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 1: to left your kids figure it out. And I think

442
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:44,640
Speaker 1: if you get them, if you if you're too intense,

443
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:46,920
Speaker 1: they kind of shut down and they have a passionate

444
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,640
Speaker 1: and a dream. I totally hear that, Holly. I think

445
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 1: like when you were saying that, I'm like, you know,

446
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:53,239
Speaker 1: she's going to be the one that decides it, and

447
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 1: we have to just be supporting her in whichever way.

448
00:24:56,640 --> 00:25:00,920
Speaker 1: We can always encourage her, but I think let her

449
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,719
Speaker 1: let her shine in whatever area and then she'll know,

450
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 1: you know, absolutely. With my kids, I am you know.

451
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,959
Speaker 1: They've been homeschooled since third and fourth grade. And my

452
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:15,679
Speaker 1: husband retired early. Um. He retired when Kenzie was twelve.

453
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 1: He promised, he said, when you're twelve, I'll be retired.

454
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:22,800
Speaker 1: So he was their school and he gets the curriculum

455
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 1: from the actual high school. And does you know actual school,

456
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 1: it's not online. Um. Maddie graduated last year. She is eighteen. UM,

457
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:33,880
Speaker 1: Kenzie's sixteen, and she's going to be graduating a whole

458
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 1: year early, which is fabulous. Um. And then she's going

459
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:40,719
Speaker 1: to take online classes. Um, Maddie is not at this

460
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 1: time because she's really pursuing her movie career. In her career,

461
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 1: and she said, maybe I'll go, maybe I won't, but

462
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,399
Speaker 1: I'm going to let her decide whatever she wants to

463
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,400
Speaker 1: do as well. Um, I did not go to college.

464
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:57,360
Speaker 1: I grew up in a Catholic house that was very conservative,

465
00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,880
Speaker 1: and you know, I always wanted to be a mother,

466
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 1: That's what I wanted to do. I regret not going

467
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,879
Speaker 1: to college sometimes just because I can say I went

468
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,160
Speaker 1: to college. And then I have my friend Holly there

469
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:14,359
Speaker 1: who makes me feel smart all the time, and I like,

470
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 1: I go to her for advice all the time and

471
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 1: help and and she's like, you could do this. You

472
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 1: know it's in there, you know. I mean, she's very encouraging.

473
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,359
Speaker 1: And you have to be around people that want to

474
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 1: encourage you. And that's what we teach our kids. You

475
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:32,520
Speaker 1: need to be with people that are going to lift

476
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:36,439
Speaker 1: you up and encourage you. I love that. Okay, I

477
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 1: want to talk about the podcast, but first I just

478
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 1: want to say I want to ask what is the

479
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 1: biggest conflict in your marriages around the kids, and how

480
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 1: have you been able to handle it? Oh my gosh,

481
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think the biggest one. I think my

482
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 1: husband thinks I I coddled the too much in the

483
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 1: sense that I want to give them everything they want.

484
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 1: I mean it's like every month. But he's like, he's like,

485
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 1: they want a dog that's coming to you. I'm like,

486
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,440
Speaker 1: that was made, that wasn't making, but I want a

487
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:14,120
Speaker 1: dog to you anyway. Okay, here here's a dog. Well,

488
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:17,480
Speaker 1: in my marriage, my my husband is not their dad,

489
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 1: but he is basically their dad because he's raised them

490
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,679
Speaker 1: since they've been little. Um, and he is Natsberg. I'm

491
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,399
Speaker 1: in California. He left in June. We haven't seen him

492
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:32,359
Speaker 1: since June because of Corona. He doesn't want to be here. Um,

493
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:36,439
Speaker 1: but he's always supportive. He does zoo with Mackenzie for school.

494
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:41,040
Speaker 1: UM and I have to tell you he supports the

495
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 1: girls a hundred percent. And you know it's the animal

496
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,680
Speaker 1: thing as well. You know we got funnies, we got

497
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,639
Speaker 1: a dog during Corona. And he's like, I'm not taking

498
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 1: care of these animals, but it's probably about animals. That's great.

499
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,399
Speaker 1: What do you think what do you think ours is

500
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 1: right now? With the kids. Huh. I mean we're pretty

501
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:06,120
Speaker 1: on the same page with I feel like we had

502
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,919
Speaker 1: one last week though with what you feel that sometimes

503
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 1: you can like I take you for granted with the

504
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,000
Speaker 1: schedule and the kids and just assuming like you're here

505
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:21,080
Speaker 1: you can watch the kids. That would be the biggest thing.

506
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,280
Speaker 1: It's like, if I don't have something on the calendar,

507
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 1: like scheduled, then I feel like the default is I

508
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:32,200
Speaker 1: have something scheduled, Mike doesn't, he's available to watch kids,

509
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 1: when really I had that time to something else. In

510
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:38,520
Speaker 1: my mind, I was gonna do, you know, and so

511
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,760
Speaker 1: that yeah, I mean that might be the biggest thing,

512
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:44,239
Speaker 1: but that's just communication. I like live and die by

513
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:47,200
Speaker 1: the calendar. Like I feel like I'm like, hey, I

514
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 1: have to go to the bath Usually I have to

515
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 1: go to the bathroom at three, So hey, Mike's going

516
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 1: to the bathroom at three, just so you know, honey.

517
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 1: I mean, hey, it's helpful calendar too. It's real helpful

518
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:03,080
Speaker 1: to know. Um. Okay, so your podcast because Mom said so, Um,

519
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 1: you guys launched it October eight. Um, you've got some

520
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:11,440
Speaker 1: amazing guests that have already been on. But um, tell

521
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 1: us tell our listeners what because Mom said so? Podcast

522
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 1: is all about even though I kind of know, well,

523
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 1: it's just basically you know about mom's mom issues and

524
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 1: it's not it's we're not doing anything like deep and dark,

525
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:27,880
Speaker 1: but we want to give advice. We want it to

526
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:31,880
Speaker 1: be fun. Um. We have fan questions, which is my

527
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:36,720
Speaker 1: favorite thing. Um, And it's just being together as moms

528
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 1: who kind of our kids grew up together, so it's

529
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:44,040
Speaker 1: just our experiences together. Yeah exactly. It's like people know

530
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:46,720
Speaker 1: us from the dance world, but for us, it's like

531
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 1: we talk about everything. We talk about life, womanhood, so

532
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 1: to your lifestyles and everything in between. So that leaves

533
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 1: a lot of conversations to be had, Like we can

534
00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 1: find just about anything to have a top topic for

535
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 1: the week, and it's fun we have, like Melissa says,

536
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 1: we love the fan questions. If you'd love to hear

537
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 1: like what fans are, what they want to know from us, Like, oh,

538
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 1: you want to know our opinion. Great, we can always

539
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:14,560
Speaker 1: give an opinion story. Um. And then also something that

540
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 1: I think Alisson who came up with this idea of

541
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 1: the mom brag and the mom fail, and it's fun

542
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 1: that we get to share that every week with each

543
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:25,440
Speaker 1: other because sometimes there are stories that we haven't heard

544
00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 1: from each other about, like okay, once your mom feel

545
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:30,640
Speaker 1: for the week, and then it's a good chuckle or

546
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,400
Speaker 1: the brag where kind of support each other. It's it's

547
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 1: it's fun the podcast feeling and you have and you

548
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 1: have Kelly and Jill from Dance Moms as well on there, right,

549
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 1: so you got for you just plenty of content there

550
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:46,960
Speaker 1: to talk about. The podcast flies by and it's all nice.

551
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:48,959
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. We do it for like four hours

552
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:52,600
Speaker 1: and we're like, wait, the first time that we got together, um,

553
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 1: last year we were gaining hours. We just eight for

554
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 1: ten hours and talking to show. It's fun to be

555
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 1: with Kelly and Jail because you know, we had not

556
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 1: been together, all four of us for years. And then like, well,

557
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 1: can you just pick up where you left off? Yes,

558
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 1: yes we can. And the energy is good and we

559
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 1: laugh and there's so many things and we just have

560
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:22,800
Speaker 1: different perspectives of our worlds and our situations and topics

561
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:27,240
Speaker 1: that we've covered, and so we're really different as far

562
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 1: as like our personalities and that what binds this is

563
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 1: this this the show Dance Moms, but we don't really

564
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 1: talk about that. We talked about so much more about

565
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 1: what does it mean to be a woman, and we

566
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 1: find out that a lot of things were wrestling when

567
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 1: they were all kind of like at a certain age

568
00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 1: of kids at different ages. It's been interesting for sure. Well,

569
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 1: that's cool that you guys are doing that and giving

570
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 1: your kids and especially your daughters. You know, you guys

571
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 1: are such great role models for them in the way

572
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 1: you've handled conflict and controversy over the careers that you

573
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 1: guys have had, you know, a dance moms and carrying

574
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 1: that into what you're doing on the podcast. So I

575
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:04,840
Speaker 1: commend you guys for that because just from I have

576
00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:07,000
Speaker 1: a front row seat to seeing how hard it is

577
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:09,600
Speaker 1: to be to be a mom. And Jana is the

578
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 1: best mom I know. And so even you guys talking

579
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 1: about mom bragging, mom fail, it's I see the response

580
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 1: that Janna gets when she talks about mom field because

581
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 1: it is you guys, moms have so much more pressure

582
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 1: for whatever reason, than than the dads. You really do,

583
00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 1: you know, It's it's really hard unless you're an absent father.

584
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 1: It's hard to be a bad dad, you know, and

585
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 1: but your moms it's just like the weight of it

586
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 1: is is on you guys for decision making and everything else.

587
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 1: And so I commend you guys for talking openly about

588
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 1: that because there is such scrutiny out there of of

589
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 1: of you know, being judged as a mother and everything.

590
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 1: So again, props to you guys for being do amazing

591
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 1: ladies to do great role models. Oh thanks, guys. I mean,

592
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:59,600
Speaker 1: and I think I'd love to see like, yeah, you

593
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 1: read your kids and you play with them, you do

594
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 1: craft and that it's just you're I can tell what

595
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:11,960
Speaker 1: an amazing mom you are. Thank you. So I really

596
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 1: need to hear that today. Well, you see, that's that's

597
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 1: the point of exactly that, Like you need to hear

598
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:20,280
Speaker 1: the who tells you that you like you just live

599
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:22,440
Speaker 1: your life on a daily fasis and you kind of

600
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 1: parent in a vacuum and it's kind of nice to

601
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 1: get that affirmation or just to feel like you're not alone. Absolutely, Well,

602
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:32,320
Speaker 1: I now know that because Mom said so will be

603
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 1: my favorite podcast that I'm going to be listening to.

604
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 1: So um, I'm super excited the gangs all back together

605
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 1: for the Because mom said to a podcast, you all

606
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 1: listen to it, Um, even if you're not a mom.

607
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 1: It's just nice to take some notes for the future

608
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 1: and have some girl fun chats. Um all right, Melissa Holly,

609
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:52,200
Speaker 1: thank you guys so much for coming on Wine Down.

610
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:55,520
Speaker 1: We so appreciate that. Thank you for having just so

611
00:33:55,600 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 1: much fun chatting on both of you. Thanks for having us. Okay, bye,

612
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 1: love you guys, by love you, by love to come

613
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 1: to Nashville. Oh We'll be there. Okay, perfect, Okay, bye, guys.

614
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 1: That was so fun. I I just I love talking

615
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:18,799
Speaker 1: about mom things, you know, and so I'm excited to

616
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 1: listen to their new podcast for sure. Yeah, and again,

617
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 1: I'm just impressed that because I know the moms have

618
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:27,240
Speaker 1: dealt with a lot of judgment scrutiny over the years

619
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 1: with their roles on the show. So the fact that

620
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:34,440
Speaker 1: they're just able to you know, carry their weight and

621
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 1: just just trudged through all the crap. They're able to

622
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,239
Speaker 1: just again be good role models for their kids and

623
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 1: just let it roll off them. You know. It's so

624
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,799
Speaker 1: funny because even when I take Jolia to dance, I'm like,

625
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 1: I can see how they make a show out of this,

626
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 1: because you always have like one kind of louder mom dance.

627
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 1: You always kind of have one that's like sits on

628
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 1: her phone and but like stairs and secretly judges someone,

629
00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 1: and then you have the other mom that's just like

630
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 1: best try to be best friends with everybody. Yeah, and

631
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,720
Speaker 1: then you have you know. So it's just of course

632
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:07,279
Speaker 1: it works, you know. And just hearing kind of the

633
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 1: drama that Katherine always you know, she's a cheer mom,

634
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:12,040
Speaker 1: so I like hear the drama from like cheer mom's side,

635
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 1: and it's just like, I wonder where I'm going to

636
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 1: fit it. I can't wait to find out You're going

637
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 1: to be all the above. Let's take a break and

638
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:22,960
Speaker 1: uh come back and talk some more. Oh goody? Can

639
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 1: we Okay? So I got a d M from I

640
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 1: Want to lead It? No, I didn't, okay. It was

641
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 1: on the wind Down Podcast Instagram. We got d M

642
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:51,720
Speaker 1: a question and I thought it would be an interesting

643
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:54,920
Speaker 1: topic to bring up. Hey, Janna, I was wondering if

644
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:57,000
Speaker 1: you and Mike could give me some advice. My husband

645
00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 1: and I are fighting over some things he said to

646
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 1: me that really hurt my feelings, and when I tried

647
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:03,759
Speaker 1: working it out with him last night, he told me

648
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:06,399
Speaker 1: he didn't have anything to say. He has been giving

649
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: me the silent treatment. Now he's not the type of

650
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:10,840
Speaker 1: guy that likes to express his feelings. So what do

651
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,640
Speaker 1: I do? I use the tools in your book plus

652
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 1: to try and express my feelings in a calm and

653
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:18,319
Speaker 1: healthy way, but he's not willing to work it out.

654
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,120
Speaker 1: Could this be shame? Could this be his shame for

655
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 1: hurting me? Yes? Next? What else it got for me? Done?

656
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 1: That was funny? Uh, not to make light of your question,

657
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 1: but great question. Appreciate you reading the book and attempting

658
00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:59,359
Speaker 1: to use our tools. From my personal experience, it would

659
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:06,319
Speaker 1: be a shame because rehashing the things that he said

660
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 1: to you, that upsets you, that hurts you, it is

661
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:14,399
Speaker 1: it's just shame. It's shameful. I've had those moments where

662
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 1: I just I just like, can we just move past it?

663
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,040
Speaker 1: Can we? Just because I don't want to sit in it?

664
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 1: And here Janna's vulnerable feelings coming from a good place,

665
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 1: not like hurt in the moment, part, angry parts, sad.

666
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:30,440
Speaker 1: It's it's when you come back later, and it's just

667
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:36,880
Speaker 1: truly just gentle vulnerability. That's even harder to hear, and

668
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:40,880
Speaker 1: it cuts into that shame even more so. I definitely

669
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:47,719
Speaker 1: think it is um my advice. But maybe My suggestion

670
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:56,799
Speaker 1: is going into it and kind of bringing that to

671
00:37:56,880 --> 00:38:00,279
Speaker 1: light with him being like, Hey, just no that I

672
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:04,800
Speaker 1: love you and I know that you're you're sorry for

673
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:08,480
Speaker 1: the things that you said. Just I need this for

674
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:10,400
Speaker 1: me to talk about it. I'm not trying to shame you.

675
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:12,480
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to you know, repsualt in the wound.

676
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:15,280
Speaker 1: I just want to I just need this to connect

677
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:17,640
Speaker 1: with you and just know at the end of this

678
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:23,640
Speaker 1: conversation I'm still gonna love you, and high probability that

679
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:29,480
Speaker 1: he'll drop that shame wall and meet you there. It's

680
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 1: so hard, though, I I like, I totally hear you.

681
00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 1: It's so hard for her though, in that situation when

682
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:39,319
Speaker 1: she's just like she just wants almost the apology back

683
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:41,440
Speaker 1: or something, you know, like I get wanted to be

684
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 1: like all right, I don't want to talk about it,

685
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:45,799
Speaker 1: but to be in that area where she deserves the

686
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:49,360
Speaker 1: conversation like she deserves to have that conversation or and

687
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 1: he deserves like she deserves to have him meet her halfway.

688
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 1: And if he doesn't do that, then what d m

689
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:04,239
Speaker 1: us again? You're on it today, babe, fire. We'll have

690
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,359
Speaker 1: one thing I'll leave for the listeners, Oh, leave us

691
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 1: with something good bad. You know something our pastor said

692
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 1: last week when he was talking around politics, you know,

693
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:22,640
Speaker 1: in a roundabout way and understanding the the amount of

694
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 1: tension emotional tension in the air in our country right now,

695
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:32,480
Speaker 1: and he kind of simplified it. He said, look, at

696
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:36,120
Speaker 1: the end of the day, neither one of these candidates,

697
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:41,080
Speaker 1: no presidential candidate, is the answer to save our world,

698
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:44,719
Speaker 1: or to save our nation, or to save us, you know.

699
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:47,479
Speaker 1: And he just he just kept bringing us back to

700
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:50,359
Speaker 1: Christ and a higher power and all of that. So

701
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 1: it's like, no matter who is elected, gets elected this year,

702
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:57,960
Speaker 1: in four years and eight years or whatever it is,

703
00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:01,880
Speaker 1: they're not the answer for humanity. They're not the answer

704
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 1: for us. You know. That's that's something higher than than

705
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:09,400
Speaker 1: the president. That's something spiritual. So it just I I

706
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:13,359
Speaker 1: appreciated his message because it just it brought me back

707
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:16,319
Speaker 1: down to earth and ground and be like, you know what,

708
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 1: we don't have to put as much in that basket

709
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:24,560
Speaker 1: and that political basket as society is right now, because

710
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:29,719
Speaker 1: it's not the end of the world, although some think

711
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:31,799
Speaker 1: it is. Some think it is, and that's okay. That's

712
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 1: they're in top of that opinion. But nothing's bigger than

713
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,959
Speaker 1: a higher power if you believe in one, so even

714
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:44,160
Speaker 1: the President, well on that sunny note, See how next

715
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:44,399
Speaker 1: week