1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of four, 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:08,440 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,800 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On 4 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our 5 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,920 Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:33,000 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:36,320 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode thirty two. We're going 11 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:39,839 Speaker 1: to be interviewing a librarian today, learning about how she 12 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,519 Speaker 1: blends work in life and all that's going on in 13 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,519 Speaker 1: her life. But first we wanted to talk about a 14 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:48,440 Speaker 1: topic I had posted about on my blog and we'd 15 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:51,919 Speaker 1: heard about from a number of listeners and blog readers, 16 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: which is that, as anyone listening to this podcast, as 17 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,880 Speaker 1: Sarah and I are both the planners and our family, 18 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:02,280 Speaker 1: and most of the time that's good. But sometimes planners 19 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:05,320 Speaker 1: can have a bit of planning fatigue, like we get 20 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:08,520 Speaker 1: tired of planning all the time, and especially if it 21 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:12,320 Speaker 1: feels like other people in the family aren't necessarily appreciating 22 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 1: it or else you plan, and then people feel like 23 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:18,800 Speaker 1: they can comment about it or argue about it even 24 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:21,600 Speaker 1: though they did not do the work of planning, which 25 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:25,039 Speaker 1: is just not cool. And we got quite a bit 26 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,560 Speaker 1: of response to that. A lot of people chinme on saying, yes, 27 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:30,640 Speaker 1: this is totally a thing. I have planner fatigue. I 28 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,319 Speaker 1: get tired. This is how I rebel when this happens, 29 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:36,440 Speaker 1: Like I refuse to do X, Y and Z. So yeah, 30 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,320 Speaker 1: it's a thing, Hi, Sarah, do you ever get planner fatigue? 31 00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:44,080 Speaker 1: I don't really get planner fatigue, but I do. I do. 32 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:46,840 Speaker 1: I do appreciate that it can be an issue. I 33 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 1: happen to just really really like sometimes I get planner 34 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:53,360 Speaker 1: over let's put it that way, where life has gotten 35 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,400 Speaker 1: chaotic to a point where I haven't been able to 36 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:59,280 Speaker 1: sit down and do my normal planning rituals, which I 37 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 1: think really do help me. And then it's sort of 38 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 1: like the days are ticking down and I need to 39 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:04,640 Speaker 1: do it, and I need to do it. That's a 40 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:08,640 Speaker 1: little bit different. I do feel really bad for the 41 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: couples where it's all in one person, but then the 42 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:14,959 Speaker 1: other person resists the plan and actually that may be 43 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,800 Speaker 1: a Q and a FOR in a later episode specifically. 44 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: But I don't have a lot of planner fatigue, but 45 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 1: you do, right. I think I just felt overwhelmed with decisions. 46 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 1: And partly it's that I'm adding this like home remodeling 47 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:28,640 Speaker 1: project on top of it. So in addition to like 48 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,680 Speaker 1: sorting out you know how we're going to get one 49 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: kid to gymnastics and another to swim and another to wrestling, 50 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:39,839 Speaker 1: and you know all that, I'm also looking at backsplashes. 51 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:44,359 Speaker 1: And I mean, some people get really excited about backsplashes, 52 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:48,080 Speaker 1: and I don't get really excited about Oh I so don't. 53 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:50,079 Speaker 1: And that's I'm going to I want you to keep going. 54 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 1: But I'm going to say, I think maybe why I 55 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 1: don't get planning fatigue is because if there's something I 56 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 1: don't want to plan, I just say no. Like that 57 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,239 Speaker 1: would be something where if my husband's like we should remodel, 58 00:02:58,240 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, well, if you care, then that's your problem, 59 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 1: like I and he would listen and say yep. Like 60 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,800 Speaker 1: there are things that I enjoy working on, and they're 61 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:10,080 Speaker 1: like kids planning stuff, activities, birthday parties, things related to 62 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 1: my work. And then if it's something that I feel 63 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: like is not like absolutely necessary, that doesn't sound like 64 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:19,639 Speaker 1: it would be enjoyable for me to plan or worth 65 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:22,239 Speaker 1: it for me to plan. I see, you know a lot. 66 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,920 Speaker 1: So maybe that's why I don't get it. You know, well, 67 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 1: I mean I'm not like, it's not like he's telling 68 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,639 Speaker 1: me I have to remodel the kitchen, but I think 69 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 1: it needs to get done. And our master bathroom also 70 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,800 Speaker 1: had this huge leak, so we have to rip it 71 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,080 Speaker 1: up anyway, so we may as well make it look 72 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,720 Speaker 1: like it was built in twenty eighteen as opposed to 73 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 1: nineteen ninety eight, which is what it looks like, you know, 74 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:46,040 Speaker 1: nineteen ninety eight by people with very specific tastes which 75 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 1: are not ours. Episode. I mean, there were like little 76 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: birdy door polls on the Yeah, it's a long story, 77 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 1: but anyway way it should posture not that we're planning 78 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 1: on move, but if we do ever plan on selling 79 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:07,839 Speaker 1: this house, this is work that needs to get done right, 80 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 1: Like it's just the reality and our living room the 81 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 1: kids have torn apart the furniture it needs it looks like, 82 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 1: you know, we have issues, Like I don't know, we 83 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:22,480 Speaker 1: don't have functional furniture, so stuff needs to get done. 84 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 1: I'm making all these decisions, but I feel like, you know, 85 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: I only have so much decision making ability, and so 86 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,760 Speaker 1: I'm making decisions on backsplashes and like showing up in 87 00:04:30,839 --> 00:04:33,360 Speaker 1: a granite yard, Like who even knew that was a thing. 88 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,560 Speaker 1: Like I took geology in college, and now I'm like 89 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:40,160 Speaker 1: actually looking at granite that has to come from the 90 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:43,520 Speaker 1: quarry or something like. Oh, anyway, So I'm doing this 91 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,280 Speaker 1: and then I'm like getting notes done. I'm doing a 92 00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:48,560 Speaker 1: website redesigned too, and I have to like review the 93 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,159 Speaker 1: pages to say, well, is this the order that I 94 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,479 Speaker 1: want am in. I'm like, I'm not putting effort into 95 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,039 Speaker 1: that because I'm choosing the stupid backsplashes, and it's like, 96 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 1: this is not what I should be doing, Like the 97 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 1: website is more important for you know, my priorities in 98 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,080 Speaker 1: the backsplash, and yet it's hard to do. So I 99 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:06,880 Speaker 1: was taking too many decisions and I when all of 100 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,760 Speaker 1: a sudden, we have all these like trips that potentially 101 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,360 Speaker 1: could come up. I just said, I can't plan spring break. 102 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 1: Like we know we want to do something, we keep 103 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,920 Speaker 1: going back and forth on what it is I cannot 104 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:20,039 Speaker 1: sit here and make all the decisions about spring break. 105 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 1: So my my husband is planning spring break. He's sending 106 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:28,200 Speaker 1: me various things, you know, just saying this is our 107 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: rough plan, and you know, I am basically like signing 108 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 1: off on it, I guess. But it's really nice to 109 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,919 Speaker 1: not be making those plans. I'm kind of, you know, 110 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:41,359 Speaker 1: enjoying stepping back a little bit on that one. I 111 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:44,080 Speaker 1: actually think it would be kind of fun someday to 112 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: completely do a hands off trip where I just say, okay, Josh, 113 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:50,680 Speaker 1: like you are going to decide where we're going to go, 114 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 1: and we're going to find out when we get there 115 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 1: or when the kids are older. I would love it 116 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,480 Speaker 1: to be like a like, you know, Annabella and I 117 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,559 Speaker 1: plan a trip for the family that they don't know about. 118 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 1: But then when I asked my husband of this, he 119 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:02,839 Speaker 1: was like, no, I like, that's great. I mean, yeah, 120 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:04,920 Speaker 1: I'm not that big on trip planning. It's not It's 121 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,159 Speaker 1: not something I really enjoy all that much. I do it. 122 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:10,040 Speaker 1: But you know, my husband and I also have somewhat 123 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 1: different He's he understands that we're traveling with children, you 124 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:16,799 Speaker 1: need to plan more as we learned from our guest 125 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:19,719 Speaker 1: doing Henley Vasquez a few weeks ago. You have to 126 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:23,000 Speaker 1: plan more than if it's just a couple, right, if 127 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,040 Speaker 1: you're an adult, Like well you said you guys used 128 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,160 Speaker 1: to land somewhere and not heavy. Yeah. Well it was 129 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:31,480 Speaker 1: funny our honeymoon. We went to Africa, and I had 130 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,440 Speaker 1: planned the wedding most of it, which, as you can imagine, 131 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,039 Speaker 1: there was I did a lot of planning, like the 132 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,360 Speaker 1: service was all set out, you know, anything, And then 133 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: he was planning the honeymoon and so he had like 134 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: the first two nights booked in our beginning and ending flights, 135 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:47,040 Speaker 1: and we knew we were staying at a resort the 136 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,839 Speaker 1: last week of it, but the two weeks at the beginning, 137 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 1: he was like, well, we'll just drive around, Like, oh, 138 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:54,880 Speaker 1: this is interesting. Like I was young, I don't know, 139 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:59,359 Speaker 1: maybe this is what people do. It's like we literally 140 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 1: and we would just around Africa, and there are lots 141 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 1: of places in Africa where there aren't that many hotels, 142 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:10,520 Speaker 1: and it was a little bit more nerve wracking for 143 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 1: me that I think it was for him. But I 144 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 1: think he's also like he's a dude, like he felt 145 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 1: if he had to sleep in the car. He would, 146 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,720 Speaker 1: but I kind of felt a little bit more worried 147 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 1: about that. So, you know, it was an introduction to 148 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:27,800 Speaker 1: our different planning styles. So I said, when we're planning, 149 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,520 Speaker 1: we're traveling with children, we absolutely need to know where 150 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 1: we are sleeping every night before we start this trip. 151 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,520 Speaker 1: Does that sound like a good ground run? It does? 152 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 1: It sounds like a very you know, that's not like 153 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:42,160 Speaker 1: a hard bargain that you set the bar nice and low. 154 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:43,920 Speaker 1: I can't wait to hear where you guys end up 155 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:47,120 Speaker 1: going and help go more on that later. We are 156 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 1: very excited to welcome to the program, Hannah Olson. Hannah, 157 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 1: why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself to our listeners? 158 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:58,360 Speaker 1: All right, I'm Hannah Olson. I am a public librarian, 159 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 1: and I live in in uh Texas near Dallas. And 160 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 1: your kids are you have a spread? Right? Yes? I 161 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,880 Speaker 1: have two kids. My daughter just turned seven and then 162 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 1: I have a five month old. So there's there's definitely 163 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:19,440 Speaker 1: an age gap there. That is a serious age gap. 164 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 1: That's even more than is that more No, that's not 165 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 1: more than your oldest, but it's very similar to the 166 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:31,160 Speaker 1: oldest youngest. Did you think that you would plunge back 167 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 1: in sooner than that, or that took you that long 168 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 1: to be motivated again the ladder definitely Now, until she 169 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 1: was five years old, we were very solidly and no, 170 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,840 Speaker 1: no more. That one was hard enough. We're not doing 171 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:49,280 Speaker 1: this again. Can't change my mind. We did, we did. 172 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 1: I've I've learned never say never, because you've always ended 173 00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:55,439 Speaker 1: up doing the things I said I would. Life works 174 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 1: like that sometimes, So how has it been plunging back in? 175 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,640 Speaker 1: It's actually been wonder I think a lot of that, though, 176 00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:05,040 Speaker 1: has to do with the fact that my baby's a 177 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:10,480 Speaker 1: unicorn baby. He sleeps, He sleeps all night, and he 178 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 1: has since he's a few weeks old, and so it's 179 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 1: just he's very, very chill and easygoing and not like 180 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 1: his sister was at all. So if he'd had the 181 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,600 Speaker 1: second one first, you'd probably have like six right now, 182 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:25,240 Speaker 1: right maybe maybe I actually come from a very large family, 183 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 1: and so I've seen that that side of things, and 184 00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:31,240 Speaker 1: it's really how many siblings do you have? I have 185 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:36,120 Speaker 1: nine younger siblings. Wow. We weren't even going to delve 186 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 1: into that, but I feel like we can ask you 187 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,880 Speaker 1: a lot of questions there too. That's very unusual and 188 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,040 Speaker 1: kind of cool. It is. It is. We're all about 189 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:48,079 Speaker 1: two years apart until number eight, and then there's five 190 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,959 Speaker 1: years between number eight and number nine and three years 191 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 1: between number nine and number ten. And my daughter is 192 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 1: five months older than my youngest brother, so it's different. 193 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:03,080 Speaker 1: That's fascinating. What number are you? You said you were 194 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:06,600 Speaker 1: you learn a lot about I imagine by the time 195 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,760 Speaker 1: you had your daughter you were pretty well practiced in 196 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:14,199 Speaker 1: all things baby related. Yeah, yeah, I was. I was 197 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,720 Speaker 1: pretty used to babies. I was comfortable with babies. Of course, 198 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:22,439 Speaker 1: it's very different being the mom, especially when one is 199 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 1: breastfeeding and that sort of thing. So, so tell us 200 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,560 Speaker 1: about your job, because a lot of people don't really 201 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 1: know what librarians actually do, and it's one of these 202 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 1: people that you sort of imagine just saying shush in 203 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,960 Speaker 1: the library. That's and that's it. But of course the 204 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:41,200 Speaker 1: job is far different from that. So please tell us 205 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:46,240 Speaker 1: about how you wind up and what it entails doing. Okay, Well, 206 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 1: first off, librarians do not read all day. That is 207 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:54,520 Speaker 1: a complete myth. We do very little reading at work. 208 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,640 Speaker 1: What I do is I'm a technical services librarian, which 209 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:02,199 Speaker 1: basically means that I'm the one who does the cataloging, 210 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:04,960 Speaker 1: so that online catalog that people use to look up books. 211 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:09,559 Speaker 1: I maintain that our library is pretty small comparatively. It 212 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:13,600 Speaker 1: one library in our city is about thirty eight thousand people, 213 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 1: so that hopefully gives an idea of the size for 214 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:20,240 Speaker 1: for people. How did you wind up? That's why? How 215 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:24,400 Speaker 1: did you wind up in this line of work? I 216 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:29,200 Speaker 1: actually grew up in that library. I mean, I've always 217 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,840 Speaker 1: I've always loved books from the time I was a kid, 218 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,840 Speaker 1: when I was like six, I wanted to work at 219 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:37,319 Speaker 1: the library. It's just that I ended up actually doing it. 220 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:40,520 Speaker 1: In college. I was a work study student at the 221 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:43,720 Speaker 1: library there, and then I got done and I was like, oh, 222 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 1: I'm never gonna never gonna do this, you know, for work. 223 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 1: I'm done. I don't want to do it anymore. But 224 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:56,319 Speaker 1: a good yea. I had always wanted to work at 225 00:11:56,320 --> 00:12:00,720 Speaker 1: that particular library, and they ended up in a position 226 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:05,520 Speaker 1: open up serendipitously. I mean, this is you know, library world. 227 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:08,200 Speaker 1: So often people just you know, they're there for years 228 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:11,520 Speaker 1: and years and years and years. Apparently what happens when 229 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,440 Speaker 1: they're there for years and years and years is that 230 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:17,760 Speaker 1: everybody retires at the same time. So I actually started 231 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:22,200 Speaker 1: working there part time six years ago, almost exactly. It 232 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:26,160 Speaker 1: was a few days ago. And then after doing it 233 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,960 Speaker 1: working there for a few months, I was like, this 234 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:30,920 Speaker 1: is really fun. I would love to do this, but 235 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,880 Speaker 1: I want to get paid more because it was a 236 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:36,439 Speaker 1: part time job. So I decided to go to graduate 237 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,600 Speaker 1: school and get my MLS. And then when I was 238 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,640 Speaker 1: and that's Masters and Library Science. I guess sorry, yes, 239 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 1: Masters of Library Science. And I was doing all online, 240 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:50,880 Speaker 1: which is the thing that you can do now. So 241 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,440 Speaker 1: that worked out very nicely as far as being a 242 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,440 Speaker 1: mon because I did have my daughter at that point. 243 00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:00,400 Speaker 1: She was born before I got the job. And why 244 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:03,200 Speaker 1: didn't you walk us through what a day looks like 245 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,240 Speaker 1: for for you first? But I guess before I get 246 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:08,760 Speaker 1: to that, your your husband, What what line of work 247 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:12,880 Speaker 1: is he in? Then? He has been in the service 248 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 1: industry for many, many years. At until a few months ago, 249 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:21,360 Speaker 1: he was either a waiter or a bartender, and he's 250 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:24,199 Speaker 1: been doing that for all of our marriage. A few 251 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,240 Speaker 1: months ago he actually got a full time job as 252 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 1: a cashier in like a company cafeteria, so that is 253 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 1: full time and has really great hours. For I was 254 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:37,000 Speaker 1: probably much better hours than the waiting bar attending, which 255 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:41,240 Speaker 1: sounds like might not have been so exciting for for Yes, 256 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:45,360 Speaker 1: I did you guys seriously have alternate hours basically for 257 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:49,320 Speaker 1: the first couple of years that your parents, we kind 258 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:50,920 Speaker 1: of did for a little bit. That did not work 259 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:54,199 Speaker 1: out well at all for our marriage. Imagine it probably 260 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:57,720 Speaker 1: it probably is logistically good in terms of childcare, but yeah, 261 00:13:57,720 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 1: I could see how it would certainly tickets toll in 262 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:03,760 Speaker 1: a relationship. Yeah, And we're incredibly lucky in that when 263 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,680 Speaker 1: we moved to where I grew up, my parents still 264 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:09,160 Speaker 1: live there, and so my mom was actually is actually 265 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,559 Speaker 1: the one that has watched first my daughter and not 266 00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 1: my son while both of us were working, and when 267 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,640 Speaker 1: I was in school, she was she was doing a 268 00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 1: lot of that as well, and that's something a lot 269 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:22,560 Speaker 1: of people don't have. And how old did you say? 270 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,680 Speaker 1: Your youngest sibling is five months younger than my daughter, 271 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:29,200 Speaker 1: and so my daughter seven, my brother will be seven 272 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:35,800 Speaker 1: in July. So for your mom, it was just like, yeah, yeah, 273 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,560 Speaker 1: it's it's amazing and it's very it's very interesting feeling 274 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,800 Speaker 1: because I'm like, well, I'm a working mom and I 275 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,520 Speaker 1: do all these things. But the reason I can do 276 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 1: that in my particular situation is because my mother has 277 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,640 Speaker 1: been stay at home mom, you know, since I was born. 278 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:53,200 Speaker 1: So wow, it's interesting. But yeah, why did you walk 279 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,160 Speaker 1: us through what a what a typical day, like a 280 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:59,440 Speaker 1: weekday looks like for you guys in your household? Sure? Well, 281 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:02,680 Speaker 1: my husband hours are crazy early. He has to be 282 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 1: at work between five thirty and six am. Get breakfast. Wow, 283 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:09,760 Speaker 1: so you are the morning parents. I am the morning parents. Yes, 284 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:14,280 Speaker 1: So I try and get up around five point thirty 285 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,760 Speaker 1: to have some quiet time to myself. A lot of 286 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:22,000 Speaker 1: times I sleep in instead, but I pretty much I'm 287 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:26,120 Speaker 1: always at by six thirty. And so we have two 288 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:31,960 Speaker 1: large dogs as well as the two children. So I 289 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 1: will let the dogs out, feed them, feed the baby. 290 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:40,600 Speaker 1: We'll get him up and feed him, get my daughter up, 291 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:44,920 Speaker 1: get her ready. And since since we've had the baby, 292 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 1: and since I've been doing the morning by myself rather, 293 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:51,360 Speaker 1: I've actually just been driving her to school, so all 294 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 1: of that takes out. On a good day, we get 295 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:58,280 Speaker 1: to school at seven thirty, which is the earliest they'll 296 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:01,120 Speaker 1: let you drop the kid off. On other days, it's 297 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:04,040 Speaker 1: very very close to eight which is when school starts. 298 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 1: So I drop my daughter off and then I drive 299 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:14,240 Speaker 1: to the city where I work, So it's about I 300 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:19,120 Speaker 1: think thirty to forty minute commute during the morning, since 301 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,320 Speaker 1: there is the kind of the traffic and all that. 302 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 1: I drop my son off and then I get to 303 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:28,520 Speaker 1: work between eight forty five and nine point fifteen. And 304 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:29,960 Speaker 1: you say, you drop your son off, so is he 305 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:32,600 Speaker 1: to take care close to where you work with my 306 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:35,880 Speaker 1: mom watches him? And oh, of course with your mom. Sorry, yeah, 307 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,800 Speaker 1: and she's located close to where you work. Because I 308 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:41,680 Speaker 1: was just listening to something that was talking about like 309 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,000 Speaker 1: the difference between dropping your kid off close to home 310 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,440 Speaker 1: versus close to work, and whether you have your eating 311 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,600 Speaker 1: time kind of to yourself or with your kid, and 312 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,800 Speaker 1: there was sort of debate over which is better. And 313 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,840 Speaker 1: I guess the truth is, in most cases there's not 314 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 1: a choice. Way. Yeah, you know, dropping him off is 315 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:03,040 Speaker 1: all right, I mean it adds fifteen minutes basically at 316 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 1: fifteen minutes, especially on my way back, so it takes 317 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,840 Speaker 1: me an hour from when I leave work to when 318 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,480 Speaker 1: I walk in the door. But he's little, so I 319 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:11,920 Speaker 1: can listen to my podcasts when my seven year old 320 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:16,200 Speaker 1: is in the car. I yeah, it's and she yeah, 321 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,320 Speaker 1: and she's wonderful, but she talks constantly, and so it's 322 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,639 Speaker 1: it's a very different experience with her. And I was 323 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,719 Speaker 1: actually just talking about that with my husband and I 324 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,919 Speaker 1: was like, during the summer, you're going to have to 325 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:29,960 Speaker 1: pick them up in the afternoons, please can you? Yeah? Exactly, 326 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:33,520 Speaker 1: So you get to work between eight fifteen and sorry, 327 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,119 Speaker 1: you get to work between eight forty five and nine 328 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:37,800 Speaker 1: to fifteen, and then what does the day look like 329 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 1: from that point? It's a variety of different things. A 330 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,240 Speaker 1: lot of times in the mornings, I will try and 331 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:48,720 Speaker 1: do the cataloging, which is almost half of what I do, 332 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:54,159 Speaker 1: and that's basically handling the books, finding the records, proofing 333 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,360 Speaker 1: them and that sort of thing. We're a pretty small library, 334 00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,560 Speaker 1: so I do spend a significant amount of time at 335 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:04,560 Speaker 1: the information desk answering questions, being available for reference. And 336 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 1: then I supervise the technical services team, which is two 337 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,120 Speaker 1: part timers and a full timer and they do receiving, 338 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:18,680 Speaker 1: receiving processing. And then my two part timers especially have 339 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:21,800 Speaker 1: a lot of volunteers that they work with. A lot 340 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:25,560 Speaker 1: of high schools used to require volunteer hours that they 341 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,119 Speaker 1: might not need more, but it's usually optional or maybe 342 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,760 Speaker 1: like a special activity will require them. So we have 343 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:34,120 Speaker 1: a lot of teenagers who need volunteer hours. So you've 344 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:37,680 Speaker 1: got a lot of volunteers there, the teenagers. And do 345 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:39,600 Speaker 1: you do you get any breaks during the day or 346 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,280 Speaker 1: is it just sort of go, go go from the 347 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:45,240 Speaker 1: time you get there. Yes, we get an hour lunch. 348 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,160 Speaker 1: I think we're allowed to do two fifteen minute breaks, 349 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:53,000 Speaker 1: but a lot of people don't take them because we're busy. 350 00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:54,760 Speaker 1: I kind of I don't take them in one block, 351 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:56,880 Speaker 1: but that just means when if there's something that comes 352 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:58,760 Speaker 1: up that takes my attention away for five minutes, I 353 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:01,600 Speaker 1: don't worry about it. I am not breastfeeding, so I 354 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:05,160 Speaker 1: don't have to worry about pumping. How did you make 355 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:09,600 Speaker 1: that How did you make that choice? Well? I had 356 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,719 Speaker 1: an unexpected sea section, and after the sea section, I 357 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,879 Speaker 1: was just physically exhausted, and and so they were you know, 358 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,159 Speaker 1: they do the thing where they try to get the 359 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,080 Speaker 1: baby to nurse. He wasn't latching on, and I was like, 360 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:22,159 Speaker 1: let's just not must not worry about it. We'll just 361 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 1: came in a bottle. No and that is perfectly fine. 362 00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:29,040 Speaker 1: You know, we've talked about this definitely before. Would you 363 00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:32,119 Speaker 1: not want to judge anyone who makes one choice versus 364 00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:36,120 Speaker 1: the other. So do you get to do anything sort 365 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,680 Speaker 1: of for you during your breaks or how does that 366 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:43,600 Speaker 1: wind up working? Yes, during lunches, I typically will either 367 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:48,119 Speaker 1: read or you know, put her around online things like that. 368 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:50,960 Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm able to go to lunch with friends, which 369 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,480 Speaker 1: is really nice. So usually it's it's just being reading 370 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 1: or just something rejuvenating during the middle of the lis 371 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:03,320 Speaker 1: have to read on their breaks. You're surrounded by books, 372 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,120 Speaker 1: but you can't pick them up because you're too busy 373 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,080 Speaker 1: with everything else. And so then what time do you 374 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,600 Speaker 1: wind up leaving for the day? What time do you 375 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,480 Speaker 1: get off your shift? I will leave either at six 376 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:16,080 Speaker 1: or up five, normally at set six, and then I 377 00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:18,119 Speaker 1: do have the one day, which is today, where I 378 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,960 Speaker 1: do work twelve to nine instead. But yeah, normally I 379 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:22,800 Speaker 1: leave at six and I pick up my kid and 380 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,200 Speaker 1: I get home at seven and we immediately have dinner. 381 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:29,199 Speaker 1: And so your husband is also home last, Yes, he 382 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:34,760 Speaker 1: gets off around two fifty to thirty. He gets home 383 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:38,800 Speaker 1: around three, three fifteen, three thirty and then My daughter's 384 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:44,000 Speaker 1: bus arrives at three forty five, so basically he picks 385 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,679 Speaker 1: her up from the bus stop and he's with her 386 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,240 Speaker 1: the rest of the day. She has I think gymnastics 387 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,440 Speaker 1: one day, and she's gonna have soccer practices, and so 388 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:54,399 Speaker 1: he'll take her to those and he's able to make dinner. 389 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,240 Speaker 1: So that's that's really exciting because we don't have to 390 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,280 Speaker 1: do aftercare for her. Oh that sounds fantastic, like a 391 00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,840 Speaker 1: very nice Yeah, bought out division. Yeah, so you're kind 392 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,240 Speaker 1: of the morning parent, and then he has the afternoon 393 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:09,200 Speaker 1: with the older child who's there in your the same 394 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:12,360 Speaker 1: town as where you live. And then it makes sense 395 00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:15,760 Speaker 1: for you to pick up your son because that's where yes, 396 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,679 Speaker 1: because he's you know, five minutes away, and so do you. 397 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:22,480 Speaker 1: I mean, now that you guys have sort of similar 398 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:26,600 Speaker 1: hours in the sense of not having the opposite hours anymore, 399 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:30,119 Speaker 1: how has that changed your marriage and how you manage 400 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:34,359 Speaker 1: things together? I mean, I think we've always been pretty 401 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,800 Speaker 1: equitable in a way that I don't often see among 402 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:41,120 Speaker 1: my people I went to college with, which is which 403 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:44,639 Speaker 1: is interesting because he's always done more around the house 404 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:48,240 Speaker 1: than typically people will talk about their husband's doing, for example, 405 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,439 Speaker 1: and then I was also working full time. I've been 406 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:53,920 Speaker 1: working full time since I got this job five years ago, 407 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,000 Speaker 1: and he's been part time through most of that. Do 408 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 1: you think that division of has happened because of that? Like, 409 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,000 Speaker 1: do you think that the that you are the primary 410 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,679 Speaker 1: breadwinner sort of nudged him into doing more than he 411 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:06,400 Speaker 1: might have otherwise or do you think he was sort 412 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 1: of more always like that. I think part of it 413 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,040 Speaker 1: was he was more always like that. I think part 414 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:18,280 Speaker 1: of it was I asked which great for that? So 415 00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:24,120 Speaker 1: you probably form the meetings, like do you too communicate 416 00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:30,920 Speaker 1: about it? Yeah? So I'm the logistically minded one, so 417 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:34,359 Speaker 1: so a lot of the logistical side of things I 418 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,840 Speaker 1: do do so what actually needs to get done when 419 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:42,040 Speaker 1: I'm often the one that's figuring that out, and then 420 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:45,280 Speaker 1: I'll ask him to do specific things. So of course 421 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:48,520 Speaker 1: there are exceptions to that. I would like to do 422 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:52,240 Speaker 1: it more formally, especially the weekends. I know, Sarah, you've 423 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,880 Speaker 1: blogged and talked on the podcast about your weekend planning 424 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:59,199 Speaker 1: and I would love to do something like that. And 425 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:02,240 Speaker 1: it only I totally get it when people find that 426 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:06,320 Speaker 1: it doesn't work because if their partner really hates it, 427 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,920 Speaker 1: so I you know, I don't like to be like, oh, 428 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:10,920 Speaker 1: this is the answer for everyone, but if your partner 429 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:15,320 Speaker 1: is open to it, I do think it helps, yes, yes, 430 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,800 Speaker 1: but yeah, so he's really always kind of been like that, 431 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,480 Speaker 1: and I think the biggest difference now is that we're 432 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:26,560 Speaker 1: both tired at seventh So before, you know, we of 433 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,560 Speaker 1: course we were both tired, but now it's like, we're 434 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:31,040 Speaker 1: both really tired. And so how do you guys manage 435 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,360 Speaker 1: your energy? I mean, what do you do to kind 436 00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:36,359 Speaker 1: of keep yourself going knowing that you do have this 437 00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,399 Speaker 1: long workday and then you have the little kids to 438 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:41,960 Speaker 1: deal with after. That's honestly still something that I think 439 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:46,160 Speaker 1: we're trying to figure out for me right now. Part 440 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:49,040 Speaker 1: of the things I've been trying was the getting up 441 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:53,359 Speaker 1: earlier to have kind of quiet time, and then I 442 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:56,119 Speaker 1: think also I'll be able to use my lunch period 443 00:23:56,240 --> 00:24:00,000 Speaker 1: pretty intentionally to get some of that rejuvenating quiet time. 444 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,959 Speaker 1: And except that's something I really noticed, the absence of 445 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,240 Speaker 1: if I just go go go all day and don't 446 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:08,840 Speaker 1: have any sort of quiet time or reading. Reading is 447 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:12,119 Speaker 1: a big thing for for me regaining mental energy, I 448 00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:16,720 Speaker 1: can imagine, so yeah, and then of course our house 449 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:20,439 Speaker 1: is just a total mess that's probably gonna happen. Does 450 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:24,639 Speaker 1: that bother you? Oh yeah, does it bother you? Or 451 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:28,639 Speaker 1: you're sort of at peace with it? It does bother me. 452 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:32,080 Speaker 1: But at the same time, there's there's a limit to 453 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:35,600 Speaker 1: our energy, and I'm realizing that most likely we will 454 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,160 Speaker 1: people need to find a way to outsource that or 455 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:43,720 Speaker 1: to probably just make peace with it, because there's yeah, 456 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:47,440 Speaker 1: just realistically, that's probably going to be something that's that's 457 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:50,560 Speaker 1: going to be on the back burner for a while. 458 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:56,480 Speaker 1: And that's okay. Laura's She's like, accept it. So, Hannah, 459 00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:59,560 Speaker 1: I have one sort of off ball, off question. But 460 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,879 Speaker 1: I bet when you're working at the information desk you 461 00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:07,480 Speaker 1: get a lot of crazy questions. Is that true? Sometimes 462 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:11,280 Speaker 1: some of the stranger questions you've been asked at the 463 00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:17,040 Speaker 1: information desk, or maybe something obvious like like why would 464 00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:18,600 Speaker 1: you ask me? Though I just heard that, Like brands 465 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,440 Speaker 1: get asked questions like well, there's this book I want 466 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:28,000 Speaker 1: and the cover is read. Yes, that is definitely a 467 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:31,320 Speaker 1: thing I have had people. I think it was. Yeah, 468 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:36,679 Speaker 1: there was one particular time there was a probably she 469 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,840 Speaker 1: was eleven or twelve, and she asked for a particular book, 470 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,240 Speaker 1: and she knew what it was about, and she knew 471 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:46,479 Speaker 1: like the size of the book, and you were supposed 472 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:49,000 Speaker 1: to be able to know what that book was based 473 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:54,240 Speaker 1: on that. Yes, thankfully we actually had the account history. No, 474 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,080 Speaker 1: it wasn't the account history. There have been a fine 475 00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:59,000 Speaker 1: on the book and a gotten turned in late, so 476 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:01,159 Speaker 1: it was in her record aversa is that the book? 477 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:03,080 Speaker 1: And so we were able to figure out which book 478 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:08,480 Speaker 1: it was because yeah, we knew what she checked it 479 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:10,080 Speaker 1: out before. So I was like, oh, well we can 480 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,280 Speaker 1: we can look there, which has not always been the case. 481 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,400 Speaker 1: And of course you have the people that are kind 482 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:22,040 Speaker 1: of living in their own worlds who who ask interesting questions. 483 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,600 Speaker 1: But so you went back to work relatively soon after 484 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:31,439 Speaker 1: your second child was born, right, yes, I had How 485 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:36,600 Speaker 1: did you? You had a C section too, so that Yeah, 486 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:41,040 Speaker 1: I'm just very curious how that wound up working. Was 487 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,480 Speaker 1: that very tough to get back to work so soon 488 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:50,800 Speaker 1: after major surgery? Not too horrible, thankfully, Yeah, because I 489 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:54,520 Speaker 1: think you see, Yeah, the first I worked right up 490 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:58,399 Speaker 1: until the day before I went into labor, and then 491 00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:01,000 Speaker 1: I ended up having the C section, which, as I said, 492 00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:05,880 Speaker 1: was unexpected, and so I think the first two weeks 493 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,080 Speaker 1: I was extremely glad I didn't have to go anywhere 494 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:11,119 Speaker 1: because it was still really, you know, difficult, painful to 495 00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:14,160 Speaker 1: move around. By the time I did go back to work, 496 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:16,600 Speaker 1: and I eased back into it, so I wasn't full 497 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:20,119 Speaker 1: time those first two weeks, and I wasn't doing the desk, 498 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 1: so it was basically just I was at my desk. 499 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:25,240 Speaker 1: I wasn't walking around, you know, showing people where things 500 00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:28,320 Speaker 1: were or anything, and had gone down some It was 501 00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:33,680 Speaker 1: it was more like particular motions would would trigger pain 502 00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:37,760 Speaker 1: or whatever whatever. And then at six weeks when I 503 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,120 Speaker 1: was back full time, I was I was pretty much 504 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:42,240 Speaker 1: I was your mom taking care of your son at 505 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,000 Speaker 1: that point, or did was your husband able to do 506 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:48,920 Speaker 1: any time off at all? He took about a week off, 507 00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,760 Speaker 1: but when the baby was born, he was still at 508 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:55,760 Speaker 1: just a regular restaurant as a waiter. And so there 509 00:27:55,920 --> 00:28:01,679 Speaker 1: is no FMLA, there is no page yes. And he 510 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:05,320 Speaker 1: was really lucky at that job because he was experienced 511 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,720 Speaker 1: and they were very understanding, and so they actually had 512 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:11,679 Speaker 1: given him this regular schedule of only working during the days, 513 00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:17,159 Speaker 1: which is incredibly unusual in food service. But yeah, So 514 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,200 Speaker 1: he just took a week off and then he was gone, 515 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:23,439 Speaker 1: and then I had different family members that came and 516 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:26,760 Speaker 1: helped me out. So and I was also lucky in 517 00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:28,400 Speaker 1: that I was actually ready to go back to work 518 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,080 Speaker 1: at four weeks. I was ready to use my brain 519 00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:35,800 Speaker 1: in that way again and be around adults. But I 520 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,640 Speaker 1: know a lot of people don't feel that way four 521 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,520 Speaker 1: weeks after a baby. And also I was not breastfeeding, 522 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:43,320 Speaker 1: which I think was a very big part of that 523 00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,880 Speaker 1: as well, because I remember with my first one, who 524 00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:51,200 Speaker 1: I breasted for two years, that there's no way I 525 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,000 Speaker 1: could have been going back to work at that. Well, 526 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:56,080 Speaker 1: and you had your mom too, for you know, knowing 527 00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:57,600 Speaker 1: when you did go back to work, you had that 528 00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:01,720 Speaker 1: child care situation in place as well. Yes, yes, that 529 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:04,280 Speaker 1: was another reason I could do that so early, because 530 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,280 Speaker 1: I think if we had more traditional childcare, I probably 531 00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:11,240 Speaker 1: would have tried to do longer leave, though I would 532 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:12,960 Speaker 1: not have been able to get paid for it all, 533 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,680 Speaker 1: which was the main reason I went back as soon 534 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:19,680 Speaker 1: as I did. Sarah, do you have anything else? Well, 535 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:23,400 Speaker 1: we didn't talk too much. You talked about not planning 536 00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,440 Speaker 1: right now to outsource your cleaning, and you know with 537 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:29,920 Speaker 1: a young baby, and I know you kind of mentioned 538 00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:31,920 Speaker 1: previously when your email is not having like tons of 539 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:35,600 Speaker 1: extra financial wiggle room, But has there been anything that 540 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,640 Speaker 1: you found has been really like worth trading off for 541 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:42,479 Speaker 1: anything that you feel like, well, I'd rather you know, 542 00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:45,160 Speaker 1: get discounted X Y Z as long as I can 543 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,600 Speaker 1: blank you know, is there anything that stands out for you? 544 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:51,400 Speaker 1: The first thing that springs to mind is actually that 545 00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:54,640 Speaker 1: we have been using Blue Apron, which is one of 546 00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:57,560 Speaker 1: those meal preparation service so cool, and you guys have 547 00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:01,520 Speaker 1: been liking it. It is it's it's really good. It's 548 00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:05,680 Speaker 1: pricey for us. I was just looking at our budget 549 00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:07,920 Speaker 1: and it's a significant portion. I don't know if we'll 550 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,280 Speaker 1: be able to keep it up, but the meals are 551 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:12,480 Speaker 1: really good, and the fact that it all comes in 552 00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 1: the box and it's all there, it's all the right 553 00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:17,400 Speaker 1: amounts and all you have to do is cook it 554 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:20,960 Speaker 1: like that. Our issue has been figuring out what to 555 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:23,600 Speaker 1: eat and then buying the right ingredients in the right 556 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:29,240 Speaker 1: amounts and not accidentally wasting any of it. So having 557 00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:32,960 Speaker 1: the Blue Apron do that part four us has been 558 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,800 Speaker 1: really nice. Oh that's so funny because I feel like 559 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:37,760 Speaker 1: that those meal service gets seem like one of the 560 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:41,880 Speaker 1: most divisive issues. People are either in love or absolutely 561 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,320 Speaker 1: don't get it at all. So it's interesting to hear 562 00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,680 Speaker 1: from someone who in the camp, in the blop camp. Yeah, well, 563 00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:49,920 Speaker 1: let's do our love of the week. Then, Sarah, what 564 00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:52,560 Speaker 1: do you have this week? Well, I thought that since 565 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,280 Speaker 1: we had a librarian on our show, that I would 566 00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:59,000 Speaker 1: give As I've been mentioning, my maternity leave has been 567 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:02,000 Speaker 1: kind of like a reading renaissance for me. I you know, 568 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,560 Speaker 1: last year, I think I read twenty four books, but 569 00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:07,600 Speaker 1: I have just finished my like fifteenth book and it's 570 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:11,960 Speaker 1: February twentieth for this year, so like, yeah, lots of books. 571 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:15,600 Speaker 1: And I just read the book Only Child by Rhiannon 572 00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:20,200 Speaker 1: Navine and A VII N and oh, it's very heart wrenching. 573 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:24,720 Speaker 1: The subject is actually I started it right before the 574 00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:29,840 Speaker 1: Parkland tragedy happened, but it is on the same topic 575 00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:31,760 Speaker 1: and it's a novel and it's heart wrenching, but it 576 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:35,160 Speaker 1: was beautifully done and one of those books that you 577 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:38,160 Speaker 1: just kind of devour and makes you think. And yeah, 578 00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,680 Speaker 1: so that's my love of the week, So mine, I'll 579 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,520 Speaker 1: go ahead I'll do something along those lines, although not 580 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:50,640 Speaker 1: really but also book related is I found this article 581 00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:54,560 Speaker 1: on BuzzFeed, which I will, you know, not discuss how 582 00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:59,760 Speaker 1: I wound up on BuzzFeed anyway. It was called forty 583 00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:04,240 Speaker 1: Brilliant short Novels you can read in a day. This 584 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,320 Speaker 1: is great Reads under two hundred pages more or less, 585 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:12,920 Speaker 1: a compilation by Dan Dalton. He has gone through and 586 00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:16,480 Speaker 1: found like a bunch of short novels and some you've 587 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:19,479 Speaker 1: heard of obviously, stuff like Animal Farm or whatever. But 588 00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:23,720 Speaker 1: then others are this like offbeat stuff. I mean, I 589 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:28,400 Speaker 1: read one called Mezzanine. I just am finishing one called Speedboat. 590 00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:32,480 Speaker 1: I've found this Gabrielle Garcia Marquez novel novella on it. 591 00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:36,360 Speaker 1: And so they're all very short, which I kind of 592 00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:39,560 Speaker 1: felt like I needed some short books after hacking my 593 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:44,160 Speaker 1: way through Moby Dick and some other kind of longer 594 00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:48,320 Speaker 1: works lately, and so it's it's you feel like you're 595 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,320 Speaker 1: reading a real book, but they're short. And so there's 596 00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,080 Speaker 1: like forty six on here. So I was like, on 597 00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:55,080 Speaker 1: you know, my Kindle, just loading as many of them 598 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,280 Speaker 1: up as I could to have a few short reads. 599 00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:02,520 Speaker 1: So I encourage our listeners to google that one. All right, 600 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:08,160 Speaker 1: BuzzFeed for the wind, how about you, Well, I'm going 601 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:12,760 Speaker 1: to pick. There is a magazine called Bella Grace and 602 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:16,600 Speaker 1: they actually the creators referred to it as a book azine. 603 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:21,080 Speaker 1: It's almost two hundred pages. There's no ads, and what 604 00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:27,400 Speaker 1: it is is it's pretty pictures and like short pieces 605 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:32,200 Speaker 1: about living like a beautiful ordinary life, and so it's 606 00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:37,200 Speaker 1: very you know, easy to read, encouraging. It reminds me 607 00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,320 Speaker 1: kind of litter lit mags, like what we had in 608 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:45,360 Speaker 1: high school and college, except it's not so much literature. 609 00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:49,000 Speaker 1: It's more like kind of short personal essays and it's 610 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,560 Speaker 1: just really fun to read. And I was given a 611 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:55,840 Speaker 1: subscription to it by one of my family members for Christmas, 612 00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:58,440 Speaker 1: and my first issue arrived a few days ago. It's 613 00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:04,280 Speaker 1: a quarterly, so it's yeah, it's a less frequent magazine, 614 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:07,600 Speaker 1: but it's so big it makes sense and so it's 615 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,000 Speaker 1: just it's a lot of it's a lot of fun. 616 00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:12,080 Speaker 1: Can you say the title bit one more time? Bella, 617 00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:15,320 Speaker 1: Greg Sar and I are both major magazine addicts, so 618 00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:18,920 Speaker 1: we've all have Yeah, I just yeah, I just listened 619 00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:20,759 Speaker 1: to the episode. We will have to check that one 620 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,520 Speaker 1: out well, Hannah, thank you so much for being on 621 00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:25,719 Speaker 1: the show. We really appreciate your taking the time to 622 00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:30,319 Speaker 1: do this. Thank you for having me. This listener sent 623 00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:32,720 Speaker 1: us a question that we both thought was very interesting. 624 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:36,200 Speaker 1: You know, we've done some episodes looking at gender divides, 625 00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:38,600 Speaker 1: and we've talked about outsourcing, and to some extent, this 626 00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:41,399 Speaker 1: question to addresses both of those topics. So here it goes. 627 00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,080 Speaker 1: I started listening to the podcast a few months ago 628 00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,400 Speaker 1: and recently started to go back and listen to episodes 629 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:49,320 Speaker 1: I missed. I just listened to outsourcing and had a question. 630 00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:51,759 Speaker 1: I've had a cleaner since my son was two and 631 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,000 Speaker 1: it has been a life saver. My son is now seven, 632 00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,759 Speaker 1: and I realized he wasn't learning cleaning skills. Growing up, 633 00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,720 Speaker 1: my family all girls plus my parents had an elaborate 634 00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:02,359 Speaker 1: toward art, which included everyone. We had it mapped out 635 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:05,040 Speaker 1: every night who was responsible for cooking, sitting the table, 636 00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:07,719 Speaker 1: clearing the table, washing and drying dishes, as well as 637 00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:10,319 Speaker 1: weekend chores. In my late teens and twenties, I was 638 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:12,560 Speaker 1: shocked by how little the guys I dated knew about 639 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,840 Speaker 1: taking care of a house. My boyfriend's mom had to 640 00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:16,440 Speaker 1: teach him how to do laundry when we left for 641 00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:19,440 Speaker 1: college at age twenty. Side note, I think my husband 642 00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:22,839 Speaker 1: had that experience as well. I did not, all right, 643 00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:24,759 Speaker 1: I vowed that if I had a boy, he would 644 00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:26,359 Speaker 1: help with tours and know how to clean a house 645 00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:28,839 Speaker 1: and do laundry. I'm wondering if teaching your kids how 646 00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:30,880 Speaker 1: to do household chores as a priority, and how you 647 00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:33,680 Speaker 1: handle it without sourcing. I stopped my cleaner six months 648 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:35,440 Speaker 1: ago since this was a big concern of mine, and 649 00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:38,160 Speaker 1: we now have one hour family cleaning time on the weekends. 650 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,080 Speaker 1: It is not perfect. The house is definitely dirtier, and 651 00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:42,719 Speaker 1: some weeks I feel like I'm doing the bulk with 652 00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:44,600 Speaker 1: the work. But I feel like we are teaching my 653 00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:46,640 Speaker 1: son that if the three of us work together, we 654 00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:49,200 Speaker 1: can get these mundane tasks which are important done and 655 00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:52,480 Speaker 1: still have fun about every other month. I do contemplate 656 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:55,120 Speaker 1: calling the cleaner again, though, I'm curious how you approach 657 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:59,479 Speaker 1: this in your Famili's Yeah, I mean, I would say 658 00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,560 Speaker 1: that this is making an issue out of something that 659 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,880 Speaker 1: is not really an issue. I mean, I don't know 660 00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:07,960 Speaker 1: about other people's households, but I would say that even 661 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,920 Speaker 1: in the times when we have had you know, weekly 662 00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:13,680 Speaker 1: cleaning services or something like that, there's still a lot 663 00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:16,120 Speaker 1: of other work to be done too, Like that in 664 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:19,279 Speaker 1: no way takes all of it off our plates. Like, 665 00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:21,319 Speaker 1: there's still plenty of other stuff to get done. And 666 00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:24,680 Speaker 1: so the kids are learning about setting the table and 667 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,160 Speaker 1: clearing the table because I mean, a weekly housekeeper, how 668 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:30,960 Speaker 1: would they're not cleaning your table off every night after dinner, right, 669 00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:33,840 Speaker 1: They're not there every day after dinner. So unless you 670 00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:36,799 Speaker 1: actually have a full time housekeeper, like someone who's there 671 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,640 Speaker 1: for eight hours every day, you're not getting that. So 672 00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:42,240 Speaker 1: you know, there's stuff like setting the table and clearing 673 00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:46,160 Speaker 1: the table, doing the dishes, picking up toys, you know, 674 00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,120 Speaker 1: putting your laundry away, and stuff like that. I mean, 675 00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,560 Speaker 1: these are all things that you can learn even if 676 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:52,680 Speaker 1: you do have a weekly housekeeper. I think what the 677 00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:55,200 Speaker 1: weekly housekeeper does is keeping the house a little bit 678 00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:57,560 Speaker 1: cleaner than it would be, maybe doing some of the 679 00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:01,520 Speaker 1: major stuff, which you know, maybe that's stuff that your 680 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:02,920 Speaker 1: kid needs to know how to do, but I think 681 00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:06,160 Speaker 1: you can teach it pretty quickly if you know that 682 00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,719 Speaker 1: is I've always surprised when I read like old good 683 00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:11,359 Speaker 1: housekeepings from the nineteen sixties and stuff that it used 684 00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:14,040 Speaker 1: to be considered like this full time job. But you 685 00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,319 Speaker 1: look at their sort of standards for cleanliness, there's things 686 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,239 Speaker 1: many of us don't ever even think to do now. 687 00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:22,160 Speaker 1: I mean, like you know, waxing floors on a certain 688 00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:25,239 Speaker 1: regular basis and making sure you get the wax onto 689 00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:27,120 Speaker 1: the polisher with a butter knife too, so you get 690 00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:29,560 Speaker 1: the right technique to get the exact right, you know, 691 00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:33,719 Speaker 1: level of it's turned it into a science, like whole 692 00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:39,040 Speaker 1: economic science, right. But like we discovered once women devoted 693 00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,080 Speaker 1: less time to that part because they more of them 694 00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:43,239 Speaker 1: went into the workforce, that you didn't really have to 695 00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:45,120 Speaker 1: do all that stuff. And so I think it's to say, 696 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:47,200 Speaker 1: I mean, there's certain tasks that are great to have 697 00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:49,000 Speaker 1: done weekly and you know your house to be cleaner, 698 00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:50,600 Speaker 1: but there's still a lot of other things to do too, 699 00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,000 Speaker 1: So I would say this is really not the trade 700 00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:54,640 Speaker 1: off that she is making it out to be. And 701 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,240 Speaker 1: if she would like to have her cleaner back because 702 00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:59,200 Speaker 1: she feels like she is doing the bulk of it, 703 00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:02,440 Speaker 1: like that's certainly a reasonable thing to do. And I 704 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,879 Speaker 1: also be careful if you are often doing the bulk 705 00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:07,960 Speaker 1: of it. That you're still not teaching your son the 706 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,719 Speaker 1: right lesson. You're teaching him that the woman in his 707 00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,560 Speaker 1: life should do the bulk of this stuff right, and 708 00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:16,080 Speaker 1: that's not the Yeah. I hope that family cleaning hour 709 00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:22,400 Speaker 1: includes both parents, Yes, because we've got to be careful, 710 00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:24,759 Speaker 1: like you know, you can in some way ways. I 711 00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:27,680 Speaker 1: feel like the choice is not that we all learn 712 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:29,919 Speaker 1: it and everyone sees that they're responsible. What it winds 713 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,040 Speaker 1: up being is either we outsource it or mom does it. 714 00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,799 Speaker 1: So you're teaching a lesson either way, So just be 715 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:39,040 Speaker 1: clear which lesson you're teaching, right, Yeah, I one hundred 716 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:41,520 Speaker 1: percent agree. I mean, first of all, she references a torchart, 717 00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:43,400 Speaker 1: which sounds awesome, but you could still have the exact 718 00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:46,200 Speaker 1: same tortart, it just wouldn't have like toilet cleaning. And 719 00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:48,759 Speaker 1: if anybody can argue that like they really needed to 720 00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,560 Speaker 1: clean toilets in their childhood, that it made them a 721 00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:53,200 Speaker 1: better person, or that they couldn't figure out how to 722 00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:56,279 Speaker 1: clean toilets later when they needed to, I just am 723 00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:59,480 Speaker 1: going to be skeptical. Yeah, because not rocket science like 724 00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:02,360 Speaker 1: I learned it. It's pretty rocket science. And one lesson 725 00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:05,920 Speaker 1: that your kids may pick up on, is, Hey, mommy 726 00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:08,680 Speaker 1: and Daddy do tours themselves. Yes, sometimes, but there's some 727 00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:10,360 Speaker 1: tours they might not like doing. And part of the 728 00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:12,480 Speaker 1: reason they don't have to do it now is because 729 00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:14,520 Speaker 1: they go to work. And we actually do make it 730 00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:18,160 Speaker 1: very clear that, like, you know, the reason we have 731 00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:20,239 Speaker 1: and Nannie, the reason we have help around the house 732 00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:22,560 Speaker 1: is so that mommy can go to work and Daddy 733 00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,800 Speaker 1: can go to work. So I think that's an important lesson, 734 00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:28,640 Speaker 1: or maybe that the lesson that working hard will help 735 00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:30,960 Speaker 1: you to not have to clean toilets someday. I mean, 736 00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:33,960 Speaker 1: I don't I'm not saying that some people who are 737 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:37,000 Speaker 1: still cleaning toilets didn't work hard, but that they're because 738 00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:40,120 Speaker 1: that's a very slippery slope, and I don't mean it 739 00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,680 Speaker 1: in that kind of fashion. But in our current situation, 740 00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:46,399 Speaker 1: I might feel differently if I was home all day 741 00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:48,839 Speaker 1: outsourcing these things. But since I do work, I feel 742 00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:52,799 Speaker 1: like there's enough justification that it does teach my kids something. Yeah, 743 00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:54,560 Speaker 1: And I would also say it's not a bad thing 744 00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:56,319 Speaker 1: for people to have to learn stuff when they go 745 00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:58,799 Speaker 1: off on their own, partly because things stick more when 746 00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,600 Speaker 1: you really do have to learn it right, Like I mean, 747 00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:03,360 Speaker 1: I learned to do laundry when I went away to 748 00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:06,040 Speaker 1: multi week camps in the summer and suddenly had to 749 00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:08,040 Speaker 1: do it. And when I went to a residential school 750 00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:09,680 Speaker 1: for my last two years of high school, I also 751 00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:11,680 Speaker 1: had to do it, and so I learned how to 752 00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:13,920 Speaker 1: do it. And I hadn't necessarily I've been doing my 753 00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,719 Speaker 1: laundry growing up, but when I had to learn it, 754 00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:18,759 Speaker 1: I learned to do it. And you know, the same 755 00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:21,359 Speaker 1: thing with cooking, Like I can't say that I did 756 00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:24,120 Speaker 1: a whole lot of cooking growing up either, but when 757 00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:26,120 Speaker 1: I was out on my own, I had my first 758 00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:28,240 Speaker 1: sort of apartment in the summer when I was nineteen 759 00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:30,440 Speaker 1: and doing an internship in Washington, DC, and actually had 760 00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:33,759 Speaker 1: to cook, like I taught myself. And because I had 761 00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:38,120 Speaker 1: to learn, and I was fully responsible for the results, 762 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,600 Speaker 1: like I feel like I learned pretty quickly and I 763 00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:44,680 Speaker 1: learned pretty well. And so there's a whole theory of education, 764 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:46,080 Speaker 1: not that we're going to going into it now, but 765 00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:48,239 Speaker 1: that when people feel like they really need to know 766 00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:50,880 Speaker 1: stuff and it benefits them, then they really learn it, 767 00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:55,080 Speaker 1: which is why you know, people never pay attention to learning, 768 00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,600 Speaker 1: like trigonometry, because I can't see any reason they'll ever 769 00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:00,279 Speaker 1: need it. So I'd say it was probably this same 770 00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:02,799 Speaker 1: thing with laundry. If they know that mom and dad 771 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:06,400 Speaker 1: will just do it anyway, you know, So there's something 772 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:08,080 Speaker 1: it's not a bad thing to learn when you go 773 00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:11,160 Speaker 1: off to school. But you know, in general, I know, 774 00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:14,080 Speaker 1: just to end this up here, we we have a 775 00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:17,000 Speaker 1: lot of fraught narratives about outsourcing, and this is, you know, 776 00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:18,920 Speaker 1: one of them, like what are we showing my children? 777 00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:20,719 Speaker 1: What are what are we teaching the kids? But the 778 00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:24,200 Speaker 1: truth is everyone outsources things. And I know we've talked 779 00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:28,120 Speaker 1: about this before, but like we don't drive our letters 780 00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:31,160 Speaker 1: to Wisconsin, like the post office takes them there. Like 781 00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,080 Speaker 1: I'm not worried that my kids don't know how to 782 00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:37,120 Speaker 1: churn butter, Like this is not something I get worried about, 783 00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,439 Speaker 1: like even though that's outsourcing too, Like we don't grow 784 00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:41,840 Speaker 1: our own food, and that doesn't worry me that we don't. 785 00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:46,200 Speaker 1: So I think, you know, it's just about these chores 786 00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:49,160 Speaker 1: that tend to be traditional women's work that people have 787 00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,160 Speaker 1: these more fraught narratives about, And so I would I 788 00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:54,400 Speaker 1: would sort of question that and push back on that 789 00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:56,520 Speaker 1: that when we worry about what we're teaching our kids 790 00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:59,120 Speaker 1: is often that we're still uncomfortable with the idea of 791 00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:01,440 Speaker 1: mom not doing these things, and so we need to 792 00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:03,719 Speaker 1: be careful about that. Al the way, I guess I 793 00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:06,920 Speaker 1: do applaud the writer of this question because she did 794 00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:09,719 Speaker 1: have a son only so that's true. It would be 795 00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:14,960 Speaker 1: sure question like my daughter is doing it, But that's 796 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:17,680 Speaker 1: a whole different issue. Not to be going here anyway. 797 00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:21,680 Speaker 1: This has been episode thirty two. Turn in next week 798 00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:27,560 Speaker 1: for more on making work in life fit together. Thanks 799 00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,600 Speaker 1: for listening. You can find me Sarah at the shoebox 800 00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:34,760 Speaker 1: dot com or at the Underscore shoe Box on Instagram, 801 00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:39,160 Speaker 1: and you can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 802 00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:42,479 Speaker 1: This has been the best of both Worlds podcasts. Please 803 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:45,160 Speaker 1: join us next time for more on making work and 804 00:42:45,239 --> 00:43:00,120 Speaker 1: life work together. M