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Speaker 1: Hi, and welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show on iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 2: There was a story this week about a YouTube personality

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Speaker 2: named mister Beast building one hundred water wells across Africa.

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Speaker 2: These wells will deliver clean drinking water to half.

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Speaker 1: A million people who need it.

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Speaker 2: And because it's twenty twenty three and because the Internet exists,

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Speaker 2: people are mad about it. They're mad because there are

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Speaker 2: already are charities that build wells in Africa, and mister

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Speaker 2: Beasts did it more successfully than they have. I mean,

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Speaker 2: how dare he cut off their grift and stop a

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Speaker 2: bunch of people getting paid on the way to building

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Speaker 2: that well. They're also mad because his success makes the

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Speaker 2: Kenyan government, for example, look bad. Which listen, they should

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Speaker 2: look bad. They do look bad. This internet personality, Taylor

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Speaker 2: Lorenz says, mister Beast is monetizing kindness because he does

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Speaker 2: these good deeds and then puts them on the Internet

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Speaker 2: and people watch it and that makes him rich. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 2: Taylor and much of the media monetizes all kinds of

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Speaker 2: horrible stuff. Taylor docks as people she doesn't like and

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Speaker 2: still thinks she's the good guy, and media in general,

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Speaker 2: I mean monetizes, creating strife between us, and so much more.

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Speaker 2: I'll take mister beast monetizing of good deeds any day.

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Speaker 1: Thanks.

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Speaker 2: This isn't the first time mister Beast has hit some

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Speaker 2: controversy in this way. In fact, he was kind of

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Speaker 2: ready for it this time, saying I know I'm going

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Speaker 2: to get canceled, but I'm building these wells in Africa.

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Speaker 2: A few months ago he paid for surgery for a

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Speaker 2: number of blind people to be able to see again,

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Speaker 2: and this was called ablest, Like, how do you even

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Speaker 2: know that blind people want.

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Speaker 1: To see again?

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Speaker 2: Mister Beast's you terrible person? It's all absurd. Yes, it's

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Speaker 2: part of.

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Speaker 1: A complex I call the problem.

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Speaker 2: With everything complex. These people need to find the bad

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Speaker 2: in any situation. Obviously we can just ignore them, yes,

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Speaker 2: but the truth is that their way of looking at

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Speaker 2: the world is seeping into our lives too. Do you

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Speaker 2: ever hear someone say something, you know, rather innocuous and think, ooh,

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Speaker 2: you're going to get canceled for that. That's this mind

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Speaker 2: virus spreading and I know you've done it. I feel

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Speaker 2: like we've all done it at this point. Imagine how

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Speaker 2: sick a society has to be for people to find

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Speaker 2: fault with a guy trying to restore a blind person's

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Speaker 2: eyesight or bringing clear drinking water to people who need

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Speaker 2: it that he found a way to monetize this actually

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Speaker 2: only makes it more impressive because capitalism is good. It's

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Speaker 2: been good for millions of people, and we should have

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Speaker 2: more of it. That sounds so trite, I know, because

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Speaker 2: pointing out when things are good or bad, you know,

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Speaker 2: it doesn't sound interesting or complicated, but it's important. The

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Speaker 2: world is full of gray, but some things really are

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Speaker 2: black and white. Water wells for people who need drinking

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Speaker 2: water are good. The challenge with beating back the problem

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Speaker 2: with everything people is your instinct be to engage at

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Speaker 2: a deeper level than no, you're wrong, this is good.

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Speaker 2: A theme on this show is it's important to say

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Speaker 2: the words, especially when you have kids. Don't just assume

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Speaker 2: everyone will see the lunacy in criticizing getting clean water

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Speaker 2: to people who need it. Say what you think and

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Speaker 2: say it plainly. For the problem with everything people or

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Speaker 2: they win. Really that's what we're facing here. It's their

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Speaker 2: way of seeing the world will defeat our way and

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Speaker 2: we'll all have to cower to their insane expectations of

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Speaker 2: what somebody doing good deeds should look like, or what

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Speaker 2: they should act like, or how they should monetize or

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Speaker 2: not monetize, and so say the words or they win.

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Speaker 2: Coming up next and interview with faith More. Join us

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Speaker 2: after the break, Hi, and welcome back to the Carol

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Speaker 2: Marcoitz Show on the Clay Travis and Buck Sexton podcast

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Speaker 2: Network on iHeartRadio. Yesterday is faith More, author of the

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Speaker 2: new novel Christmas Carol. Faith is a freelance writer and editor,

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Speaker 2: and most importantly, a stay at home mom.

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Speaker 1: She has been.

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Speaker 2: Published in The Wall Street Journal, New York Daily News, Federalist,

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Speaker 2: and Daily Wire, among others. She is the author of

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Speaker 2: Saving Cinderella with Feminists Get Wrong about Disney Princesses and

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Speaker 2: How to Set it Right. Christmas Carol is her first novel.

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Speaker 2: Thanks so much for coming on the Show of Faith.

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Speaker 3: Oh, thanks so much for having me. It's a pleasure

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Speaker 3: to be here.

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Speaker 2: So when I first saw the title of your new book,

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Speaker 2: Christmas Carol, it's Carol is spelled with a K. I

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Speaker 2: have to say I definitely thought it was about me.

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Speaker 2: But that's probably not not true, is it.

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Speaker 4: Well, it's not true because when you read the book,

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Speaker 4: you'll discover that Carol is not nearly as lovely as

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Speaker 4: you are. But I definitely did think of you when

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Speaker 4: I had to change the name from Carol with the

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Speaker 4: Sea to Carol with a K. It was originally Carol

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Speaker 4: with a See because it is a retelling of a

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Speaker 4: Christmas Carol, and so I had it Carol with a Sea, right.

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Speaker 4: We decided in the editing process that it needed to

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Speaker 4: have its own space, and so we gave her a

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Speaker 4: K name, and then I definitely thought.

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Speaker 1: I love it obviously.

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Speaker 2: So your book is a modern twist on the Dickens story.

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Speaker 1: What inspired you to write it?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well it is.

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Speaker 4: It's a modern retelling of a Christmas Carol, but the

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Speaker 4: Scrooge character is instead of an old miserly man, a

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Speaker 4: workaholic mom, and her miserliness is not about her her

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Speaker 4: time her money. It's about her time and how much

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Speaker 4: time she chooses to spend with her kids and her family.

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Speaker 3: And it came from a couple of things.

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Speaker 4: One is a Christmas tradition that my family has, which

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Speaker 4: is that every year, without fail, we sit down and

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Speaker 4: watch the Alistair sim version of a Christmas Carol. And

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Speaker 4: it's a sort of old black and white, fantastic movie

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Speaker 4: that everybody who cares about watching Christmas.

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Speaker 3: Movies should watch.

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Speaker 4: And it's one of those things where we watch it

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Speaker 4: every year as a family and we always noticed something new,

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Speaker 4: So it's part of my kind.

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Speaker 3: It's just sort of like a story that's imprinted on

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Speaker 3: my heart, you know.

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Speaker 4: And what happened was during the pandemic. I got the

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Speaker 4: idea for this during the pandemic. It was kind of

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Speaker 4: the tail end of the pandemic and everyone had been

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Speaker 4: home for you know, a year, year and a half

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Speaker 4: with their kids, and as you know, when you have

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Speaker 4: to parent and work at the same time, it's kind

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Speaker 4: of untenable. And everybody was talking about that, how how

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Speaker 4: am I supposed to you know, my kids, there's three

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Speaker 4: different zoom sessions I'm supposed to be on.

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Speaker 3: How am I supposed to take care of.

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Speaker 4: All of this and take care of my actual job

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Speaker 4: which I'm supposed to be at, And you know, that

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Speaker 4: was a big kind of theme at the time, was wow,

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Speaker 4: like I can't do this. I can't take care of

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Speaker 4: my kids and take care of my full time job

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Speaker 4: at the same time. But there was another thread that

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Speaker 4: was happening, and that thread was, Wow.

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Speaker 3: I'm really enjoying my children.

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Speaker 4: I'm getting to spend all of this time with my

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Speaker 4: kids that I don't usually spend because I'm at work

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Speaker 4: full time and they're at daycare or being picked up

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Speaker 4: from school by the nanny or there in after school.

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Speaker 3: And isn't this wonderful? How do how do I tap

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Speaker 3: into that? You know?

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Speaker 4: How do I go back to my regular life and

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Speaker 4: still spend all this time with my kids? And so

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Speaker 4: it was it was the Christmas of I think the

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Speaker 4: second kind of Christmas that happened in the pandemic, so

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Speaker 4: I think like twenty twenty one maybe, and people were.

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Speaker 3: Kind of starting to go back to work.

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Speaker 4: And the funny thing that happened, or maybe the sad

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Speaker 4: thing I don't know, is that all of those people

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Speaker 4: who are expressing that thing, they.

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Speaker 3: Just went right back to work.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 3: It was kind of like following that.

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Speaker 4: Let's just the narrative is I go to work, my

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Speaker 4: kids go to daycare or school or you know, wherever

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Speaker 4: they're going. And I sort of started to connect that

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Speaker 4: story of Christmas Carol, which is just, as I say,

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Speaker 4: part of my own self and that experience and I thought,

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Speaker 4: what would it take for someone to step out of

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Speaker 4: the narrative, What experience would she need to go through

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Speaker 4: for her to step out of the narrative and kind

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Speaker 4: of choose a different life for herself. And that's kind

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Speaker 4: of where the story came from.

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Speaker 2: So an interesting side note to listeners is that Faith

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Speaker 2: and I somewhat spent the pandemic together. We did. We

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Speaker 2: lived in the same Brooklyn neighborhood, and our sons went

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Speaker 2: to school together, and she was my rock of sanity

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Speaker 2: in an ocean of insanity.

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Speaker 1: Oh same, So that was really good.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, you're bringing up some really interesting things, which

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Speaker 2: is you know, so during that time, obviously you and I,

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Speaker 2: you know, very few other people fought for the schools

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Speaker 2: to reopen, fought for.

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Speaker 1: Like life to go back to normal. But I say

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Speaker 1: this a lot.

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Speaker 2: It was a really wonderful time for our family. I

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Speaker 2: loved having the kids at home. I loved us all

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Speaker 2: cozy on the couch every day and you know, dealing,

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Speaker 2: you know, doing their stuff and I'm doing my stuff,

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Speaker 2: and everything was like a slower pace. Obviously, I knew

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Speaker 2: it was bad for society. I knew it was not

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Speaker 2: great for the kids. I knew.

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Speaker 1: I knew my kids would be okay.

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Speaker 2: I can get them like all the services or help

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Speaker 2: that they need, you know, when schools had failed.

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Speaker 1: But I knew it would be bad for a lot

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Speaker 1: of other people.

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Speaker 2: So your book is kind of a challenge to these

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Speaker 2: lies that we are fed about womanhood and marriage and femininity, right,

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Speaker 2: and so what are those lies?

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Speaker 3: I think it's really a narrative that we're being sold.

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Speaker 4: I think there's this concept now that kind of came

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Speaker 4: up through the entirety of feminism and has now met

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Speaker 4: us here, which is that in order to be a

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Speaker 4: valuable and productive member of society, a woman must do

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Speaker 4: this specific thing, which is, you know, graduate high school,

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Speaker 4: go to college, graduate college, get a high power job,

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Speaker 4: you know, become a CEO, a business person and whatever,

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Speaker 4: all these jobs that I never had and don't.

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Speaker 3: Understand, and you know, go off and do these things.

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Speaker 3: Otherwise you're just.

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Speaker 4: Going to be a mom or a wife or you know,

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Speaker 4: these kind of bad words, these awful things that you

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Speaker 4: might be. And I want to be very clear, I

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Speaker 4: think if you want to have a career, please do it.

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Speaker 3: The thing that you need to know is that.

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Speaker 4: You can't also be a full time parent. And I

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Speaker 4: think that's the problem, is that if in telling women

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Speaker 4: that motherhood and marriage and all of those kinds of

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Speaker 4: more quote unquote traditional pathways for women, and telling them

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Speaker 4: that those are somehow inferior, that they make you nothing

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Speaker 4: or they make you less valuable, then women feel that

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Speaker 4: they must do something which I think a lot of

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Speaker 4: women don't necessarily want to do, which is to sort

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Speaker 4: of go off and have these ambitious, more typically masculine careers.

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Speaker 4: And you know, it's a horrible lie to say to

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Speaker 4: women that the only way that you could be successful

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Speaker 4: or valuable is to be more like men.

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Speaker 3: I mean, like, it's a total erasure of women. Right.

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Speaker 2: There was a Babylon Bee story a few days ago

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Speaker 2: that was, like women just wishes there was a job

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Speaker 2: where she could like bake banana bread and like spend

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Speaker 2: time with her children, and like, you know, can't figure

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Speaker 2: out what that job might be.

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Speaker 4: Right exactly, Yes, I have that job, although I will

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Speaker 4: say I always say that motherhood is not my job,

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Speaker 4: it's my vocation, because it.

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Speaker 3: Really would be a terrible job. Like you don't you

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Speaker 3: don't get any promotions, there's just nobody, right, you know,

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Speaker 3: there's no feed there's no.

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Speaker 1: Definitely no positive feedback.

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Speaker 3: You know, exactly. So it's not my job, it's my vocation.

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Speaker 3: But I think that.

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Speaker 4: It's it's something that a lot of people do kind

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Speaker 4: of aspire to without really realizing that it's something that

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Speaker 4: they could just do.

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Speaker 2: And I also think, you know, there's definitely that line

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Speaker 2: where men are not sold this you can have it all,

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Speaker 2: you can have a full time job and be at

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Speaker 2: home with your kid all the time, because that's just

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Speaker 2: not a reality.

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Speaker 1: They're kind of, you know, told that, like you have

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Speaker 1: to make choices.

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Speaker 2: You know. One of the things I say is like

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Speaker 2: for all the kind of gender wars that we're in,

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Speaker 2: men don't get asked like when they have a baby, like, oh,

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Speaker 2: what are you going to do?

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Speaker 3: Now?

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Speaker 2: Are you going to quit your job and you know,

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Speaker 2: stay home? And like women do still get asked this

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Speaker 2: because we are different, because we want different things, because

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Speaker 2: we tend to make different choices. And the whole thing

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Speaker 2: about having it all, to me was always like this

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Speaker 2: lie that.

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Speaker 1: Only women get told, right, it's not men. Men just

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Speaker 1: don't get that at all.

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Speaker 2: Kyle Smith one time had this great thing like why

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Speaker 2: would anybody want to have it all.

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Speaker 1: This sounds horrible, you.

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Speaker 3: Know, well, it's also impossible.

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Speaker 4: It's completely impossible, and I think, I mean, the thing

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Speaker 4: for men, I think is that if if you don't

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Speaker 4: have a family at home, if you don't have you know,

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Speaker 4: a beautiful home, if your kids aren't you know, happy

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Speaker 4: and comfortable and taken.

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Speaker 3: Care of, what are you going out to work for anybody?

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Speaker 4: I mean it it is. It's a sort of symbiotic relationship,

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Speaker 4: you know, it's and it's valuable.

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Speaker 3: Each one is valuable because of the other one.

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Speaker 4: And so I think like we we completely kind of

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Speaker 4: unplug everyone from from purpose when we say that, you know,

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Speaker 4: women and men must be exactly the same and they

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Speaker 4: must go out and do the exact same things.

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Speaker 1: Right and want the same things, which don't I mean.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's sort of it's ridiculous to assume that a

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Speaker 4: woman is going to grow a baby inside of her

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Speaker 4: body and give birth and then not have some sort

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Speaker 4: of different mechanism through which to think about the baby

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Speaker 4: than a man is going to have. You know, she's

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Speaker 4: obviously going to have a different experience of you know,

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Speaker 4: having grown the baby inside of her and given birth

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Speaker 4: and nursing or whatever. You know that all of that

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Speaker 4: does things to you biologically that mean that you're.

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Speaker 3: Probably not necessarily like now, let's just throw the baby

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Speaker 3: over then take care and go off to my you know,

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Speaker 3: CEO job or whatever.

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Speaker 5: We're going to take a quick break and be right

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Speaker 5: back on the Carol Marcowitch Show. So how do we

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Speaker 5: beat back these lies? Like, what is step one in

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Speaker 5: this very long process? I'm sure I.

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Speaker 4: Think it really is about kind of stepping outside of

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Speaker 4: that narrative and giving ourselves permission to realize what we want.

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Speaker 4: Because I think for some people what they want is

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Speaker 4: maybe to not have a family and to go off

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Speaker 4: and you know, be the CEO, and that's that's fine.

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Speaker 4: But I think if you're if if that doesn't really

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Speaker 4: feel right to you, or you are feeling uncomfortable in that,

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Speaker 4: to know that it doesn't have to be that way,

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Speaker 4: I mean, I think, you know, in the book, that's

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Speaker 4: kind of what happens is that the Carol character kind

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Speaker 4: of gets to see what she's missing at home, and

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Speaker 4: she's kind of she gets to kind of step back

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Speaker 4: from the narrative of what she thinks she's supposed to

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Speaker 4: be doing and why and see kind of the way

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Speaker 4: in which her children are growing up without her, and

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Speaker 4: it's a time that will never come again. And I

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Speaker 4: think I think that's the piece of the narrative that

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Speaker 4: we're not telling people and that people need to understand,

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Speaker 4: is that in the entirety of your life, if God willing,

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Speaker 4: your life is long, you know, the percentage of that

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Speaker 4: lifetime in which your children are small and at home

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Speaker 4: and need you is so small. It's such a small

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Speaker 4: amount of your lifetime. Why not rearrange things so that

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Speaker 4: you can give it to your kids and then and

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Speaker 4: then come back. Your work will still be there, but

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Speaker 4: your kids won't, you know. And I think that's the

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Speaker 4: narrative that we need to unpack and like untangle for people,

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Speaker 4: is that it's not it's not a total kind of

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Speaker 4: amputation of your ambitions and desires. It's just it's just

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Speaker 4: a reframing for a moment, you know, take take a

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Speaker 4: step back, have the kids be with them in whatever

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Speaker 4: way you can or want to be, and then you know,

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Speaker 4: explore the career.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's very interesting because I think that people think

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Speaker 2: that you know, your career is this ladder. I mean,

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Speaker 2: we use you know, career ladder all the time. But

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Speaker 2: I really don't think so. I think that for a

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Speaker 2: lot of people. For example, if you do you know,

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Speaker 2: you raise your kids, and then you go back to work,

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Speaker 2: you have a very different kind of goal orientated philosophy

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Speaker 2: about you at that point. Maybe, like you know, making

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Speaker 2: a lot of money is no longer the goal, maybe

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Speaker 2: like enjoying yourself at work is a goal.

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Speaker 1: At that point, you just kind of reorient yourself.

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Speaker 2: I mean, look, making money is great, obviously I'm all

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Speaker 2: for it, but you need some of it if you're

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Speaker 2: going to have Yes, yeah, yeah, your kids are very

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Speaker 2: very expensive. But the idea that once you step off

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Speaker 2: that ladder that you're off forever, that's crazy. I was

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Speaker 2: a stay at home mom, I was a work at

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Speaker 2: home mom. I was a work outside the home mom.

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Speaker 2: You know, there's a lot of different things that you

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Speaker 2: can do in your life, and I don't think that

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Speaker 2: making one choice means that you're in that choice forever.

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Speaker 2: I actually know lots of people who thought that they

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Speaker 2: wanted to be high powered career people and then they

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Speaker 2: had kids and realized, you know what you're saying, that

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Speaker 2: child is very short. I want to be there for it.

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Speaker 2: I know that I thought I wanted this, you know,

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Speaker 2: A B and C, but I actually don't want that

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Speaker 2: anymore exactly.

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Speaker 4: And I think, you know, as you're saying, like you

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Speaker 4: were stay at home mom, you were work from home mom.

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Speaker 3: You went out of the home, because that's what having

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Speaker 3: kids kind of sets you up to do. You know,

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Speaker 3: It's not like I mean, here I am right, I

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Speaker 3: have a toddler at home. I'm completely home full time.

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Speaker 4: I have pretty much no child care, and here I

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Speaker 4: am I wrote a novel, so I you know, it's

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Speaker 4: not like I completely was like I'm sorry. You know,

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Speaker 4: all ambition, all creativity, all anything that is not my

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Speaker 4: children is now completely on some weird shelf that I

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Speaker 4: can't access. No, it's like, you know, my priority is

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Speaker 4: my kids. My priority is you know, what are they doing?

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Speaker 3: What's the school pickup? Does it coincide with nap time?

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Speaker 4: You know? Is there do we need to change a diaper?

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Speaker 4: That's that's where my brain is. But you know, I

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Speaker 4: get like this hour a day when my kid is snapping,

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Speaker 4: and I do this other thing, that magic allower hour

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Speaker 4: in which I drink a cup of tea and do

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Speaker 4: some writing and that. But that the point is that

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Speaker 4: time will grow, you know, as you're saying, like, now

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Speaker 4: he's in a little bit of school, so now I

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Speaker 4: have a little bit more time.

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Speaker 3: You know, next year.

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Speaker 4: He'll be in full you know, full time school because

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Speaker 4: you know it'll be time for pre k or whatever,

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Speaker 4: and on and on from there until they're gone. And

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Speaker 4: what if they're gone and you never were there?

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Speaker 2: You know, all very good and serious things to think about.

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Speaker 2: So you have this hit book Christmas Carol. Do you

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Speaker 2: feel like you've made it?

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Speaker 3: It's such a good question.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I've gotten such a range of answers

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Speaker 2: to this. I love asking people this because you know,

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Speaker 2: I've had people who like our you know, one hundred.

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Speaker 1: Millionaires say like, no, I don't feel like I've made it.

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Speaker 3: So my answer is this.

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Speaker 4: If I think about like my quote unquote career, like

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Speaker 4: as a writer and a novelist, then my answer would

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Speaker 4: be like, no, I'm only just getting started, Like this

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Speaker 4: is my first novel.

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Speaker 3: This is what I want to do.

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Speaker 4: Like I feel like I'm really kind of out there,

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Speaker 4: you know, trying to sell it and you know all

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Speaker 4: this stuff. But in my life, I have made it

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Speaker 4: because I have two beautiful children and that's really all

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Speaker 4: I need. I mean, there was a time when I

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Speaker 4: thought I couldn't have any children. There was a time

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Speaker 4: when I thought I wouldn't be able to have another.

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Speaker 4: You know, the birth of my first was difficult on

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Speaker 4: my body, and it meant that it took a long

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Speaker 4: time for me to figure out how I was going

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Speaker 4: to have another, and then I did, and so I

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Speaker 4: live with two miracles. You know, I have a husband

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Speaker 4: who I love and who loves me, and we've built

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Speaker 4: this family, so like, yeah, heck, yeah, I've made it.

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Speaker 1: I love that.

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Speaker 2: It really is all about perspective, and people understand that

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Speaker 2: question in a lot of different ways, so you know,

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Speaker 2: I love asking it. And the other question, no, it's

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Speaker 2: going to ask all of my guests, is what do

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Speaker 2: you think is our largest cultural or societal problem in America?

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Speaker 1: And do you think it's solvable. That's one question.

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Speaker 4: That's a big question, and I think it's kind of

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Speaker 4: hard to pick one, especially right now.

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Speaker 3: It's hard to pick just one, but.

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Speaker 4: I think I'm going to have to go with the

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Speaker 4: kind of devaluation of children and the kind of the

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Speaker 4: the sort of cultural narcissism that I think is probably

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Speaker 4: the cause of that. Like, so I'm thinking about, you know,

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Speaker 4: the way in which people, you know, abortion.

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Speaker 3: Is kind of just like fine, we celebrate that.

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Speaker 4: It's so that women can go off and do what

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Speaker 4: they need to do, but not care about that child

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Speaker 4: or you know, as you very well know and have

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Speaker 4: written about so well, like the way that we kind

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Speaker 4: of threw them very much under the bus during during

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Speaker 4: COVID and kind of continue to do that. The way

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Speaker 4: that we, you know, are completely disregarding their sort of

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Speaker 4: mental health and needs during the trans all those sort

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Speaker 4: of trans stuff that's going on with kids right now.

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Speaker 4: And I think I think the issue is really around

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Speaker 4: our narcissism, Like as a culture, we want you know,

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Speaker 4: we we we want a career.

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Speaker 3: So fine, have an abortion.

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Speaker 4: We you know, we want to kind of be good

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Speaker 4: woke citizens and the cultural light gay. So our kid

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Speaker 4: says he wants to be a girl, like okay, great,

440
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:54,480
Speaker 4: you know I think so, I think that's a big sort.

441
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,359
Speaker 1: Of thing anything goes.

442
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:58,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, the kind of overarching issue of like we it's

443
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,639
Speaker 4: all about us somehow, and our kids are kind of

444
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,440
Speaker 4: falling by the wayside, and can it be solved? Yeah,

445
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,760
Speaker 4: but we all have to kind of again, we have

446
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,919
Speaker 4: to have this. I keep calling it like a Scroogian shift,

447
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,400
Speaker 4: because it's like, you know, in the book, like Scrooge.

448
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:14,840
Speaker 3: I mean, the whole thing about Scrooge is that he,

449
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:16,360
Speaker 3: you know, he goes through this whole thing.

450
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:18,160
Speaker 4: And in Carol too, she goes to this whole thing

451
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:21,000
Speaker 4: and nothing actually changes at the end. They're still the

452
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:24,720
Speaker 4: same person, but their whole perspective has changed because they've

453
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:26,520
Speaker 4: seen something new. And I think if we just took

454
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,639
Speaker 4: a set back and we saw what we're doing, what

455
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,679
Speaker 4: we're doing to our kids, what we're doing to ourselves,

456
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,600
Speaker 4: then you know, we would probably start.

457
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,480
Speaker 3: Having families and taking more time with our.

458
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,760
Speaker 4: Kids and paying attention to our spouse and you know,

459
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,600
Speaker 4: all of those things. And I think that would really

460
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,480
Speaker 4: help us. Will we do it, I don't know, but

461
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 4: I think we could.

462
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:45,960
Speaker 1: Well.

463
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:49,800
Speaker 2: So, you know, about your character, Carol, she's able to

464
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,680
Speaker 2: shed some of that narcissism, right, She's able to finally

465
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:55,240
Speaker 2: look at her family and realize that that's what's important.

466
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,160
Speaker 2: I guess how do we get, you know, non book

467
00:21:58,240 --> 00:21:59,400
Speaker 2: characters to do the same.

468
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:03,680
Speaker 3: I think it's about it's about stepping outside of the narrative.

469
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,879
Speaker 4: I think that's that's really what it what it is,

470
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:10,320
Speaker 4: It's about kind of questioning yourself.

471
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 3: So it's not what am I supposed to do? What

472
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:16,040
Speaker 3: a society want me to do? What does you know?

473
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:18,440
Speaker 3: What did my friends say? What does my college say?

474
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:18,639
Speaker 4: You know?

475
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,680
Speaker 3: What do my teachers say? It's kind of like what

476
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 3: do I know? Is right?

477
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,560
Speaker 4: And I think, you know, for Carol in the book,

478
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,800
Speaker 4: she gets this kind of supernatural gift, which is that

479
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 4: she gets to.

480
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 3: Look at and see what she is missing, and she has.

481
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:35,760
Speaker 4: Spoiler yeah, sorry, but she has this kind of revel

482
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:41,120
Speaker 4: lady spoiler but like you know, Carol, I'm sorry, right.

483
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:43,800
Speaker 1: Right, and nothing you could do for this.

484
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 3: It's like several hundred years.

485
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 4: Old, yes, But I think, like you know, she she

486
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:52,240
Speaker 4: has this realization where you know, she's kind of looking

487
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 4: at something that her kids are doing and she's like,

488
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:57,400
Speaker 4: this will never happen again in this way, and I

489
00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,680
Speaker 4: am I am missing it? So I think, you know, what,

490
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,400
Speaker 4: what are you missing? What am I missing? What are

491
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,440
Speaker 4: we missing? Kind of step away from what we think

492
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 4: we're supposed to be doing.

493
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 2: The supposed to be that is so big, I think

494
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,400
Speaker 2: in so many different ways. And again I think it

495
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 2: is especially marketed towards women that's supposed to be supposed

496
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,879
Speaker 2: to want, supposed to like, you know, supposed to become.

497
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 2: I think that if we could just somehow break that

498
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,919
Speaker 2: supposed to And I don't know how you do it

499
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,679
Speaker 2: because a lot of the times when people say to

500
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 2: me like, oh, society tells me, I'm like, did your

501
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 2: mom tell you that?

502
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 1: Because that sounds like something.

503
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 2: You know, I don't know, Like especially around food, I

504
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,879
Speaker 2: feel like women are always like, oh, society tells us

505
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 2: to be like this, Like, well, my Russian mom did

506
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 2: not tell us, did not did not tell me to diet,

507
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,840
Speaker 2: So you know, society right, right, right. So a lot

508
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 2: of times I do think it's like a major influence.

509
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:45,600
Speaker 2: But I do think that you know, when you go

510
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 2: to college and you if you tell your professors I

511
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:49,879
Speaker 2: just want to be a stay at home mom like

512
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:51,639
Speaker 2: you will get some pushback.

513
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:52,440
Speaker 1: For sure.

514
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:56,639
Speaker 2: I remember this happening. Actually, So the supposed to be

515
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,720
Speaker 2: is what I think we need to get over. And

516
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 2: I also think it's it's a tough one to get over.

517
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,960
Speaker 3: I totally agree, but I think it's hard.

518
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:06,119
Speaker 4: I guess we need to teach our kids also, we

519
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,440
Speaker 4: need to teach them to not to sort of question

520
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:13,639
Speaker 4: and to not go blindly into into things without you know,

521
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:15,399
Speaker 4: And I mean that's something that I try to do

522
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:18,440
Speaker 4: with my kids is kind of just like first of all,

523
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:20,359
Speaker 4: to sort of tell them where where we as a

524
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:23,360
Speaker 4: family stand to have values in your own.

525
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 3: Family and you know, kind of how this is. You're

526
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,199
Speaker 3: going to hear people say this. You're going to hear

527
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 3: people say that.

528
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 4: But we this is what we think, you know, and

529
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 4: we believe in our family that whatever it is, you know,

530
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:37,119
Speaker 4: and I think and also just to teach them to question, like, Okay,

531
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:39,600
Speaker 4: if someone's telling you that something is one hundred percent

532
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 4: the way to do something or the way to be,

533
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 4: you know, something that's not a fact. You know, like

534
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 4: we have a fact, like you know, this war occurred

535
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:46,479
Speaker 4: on this date.

536
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:47,679
Speaker 3: That's a fact. You don't need to question that.

537
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:50,399
Speaker 4: But like you know, if if if, what they're saying is,

538
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,320
Speaker 4: you know, everyone must be this way or do this thing,

539
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:55,880
Speaker 4: like you should automatically question those things.

540
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 3: And we should teach our kids to do that.

541
00:24:58,040 --> 00:24:59,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I remember when we had to do that

542
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 2: during the exactly yea, and very few people did. But

543
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 2: you know, hopefully our children will I've really loved having

544
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,000
Speaker 2: you on faith that. My last question that I ask

545
00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 2: everybody is leave us with the best tip for.

546
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 1: My listeners to improve their lives.

547
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:19,080
Speaker 4: Well, that's it. Step outside the narrative. Step outside of

548
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:22,120
Speaker 4: the narrative and ask yourself, what do you really want?

549
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 4: And if I mean to go along with what we

550
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,400
Speaker 4: have just been talking about, if you are a mother

551
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:30,800
Speaker 4: and you have small kids at home and you're working

552
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 4: and that's not working for you, take a minute and

553
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,679
Speaker 4: step outside the narrative. And if you don't know how

554
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:40,560
Speaker 4: to do this, read this book. Read Christmas Carol, and

555
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:42,360
Speaker 4: you know you don't have to be visited by.

556
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,879
Speaker 3: Three spirits on Christmas and helps, it really does help that.

557
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 3: I'm sorry I can't just send them to you. It's

558
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 3: a whole thing.

559
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:53,479
Speaker 4: But you read the book because I think what she sees,

560
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 4: it's not just what she's missing at home, but she

561
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:59,159
Speaker 4: sees kind of the things that happened to her in

562
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 4: her life that have made her believe that this is

563
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:05,160
Speaker 4: the only way that she can be And people can

564
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 4: do that. Take a step back and think about why

565
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 4: am I here? Is this where I want to be?

566
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:14,479
Speaker 4: And there's no such thing as impossible. Really, there's just

567
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:18,119
Speaker 4: kind of sacrifices and reprioritizing that you need to do. So,

568
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,919
Speaker 4: if you're sitting there saying like I would love to

569
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 4: be home with my kids, or I would love do this,

570
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:24,160
Speaker 4: but we can't afford it, or you know we can't,

571
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:25,440
Speaker 4: you can, you.

572
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,320
Speaker 3: Just have to give up some other things. So I

573
00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 3: think that my advice would be.

574
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 4: Take a minute to step outside the narrative that you're

575
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 4: reading sold and see if it's the narrative that you

576
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 4: actually want.

577
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:36,400
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, she's faith more.

578
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:39,400
Speaker 2: Her book, Christmas Carol is out now wherever you buy

579
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:39,879
Speaker 2: your books.

580
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:41,520
Speaker 3: Thanks so much for having me. This was great.

581
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 2: Thanks so much for joining us on the Carol Markowitz Show.

582
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,680
Speaker 2: Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.