Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of My Heart Radio. Hey Elizabeth, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know it's ridiculous. You know it's ridiculous. I will
Speaker 1: tell you it's ridiculous. That whole food fat of like
Speaker 1: putting gold leaf on food. Oh yeah, that's more than ridiculous.
Speaker 1: It's absurd. Yeah, it's That's all I have to say
Speaker 1: on it. It's ridiculous. Stop it. You know what I
Speaker 1: learned the other day is if you if you get
Speaker 1: gotten your car and you pointed your car straight up
Speaker 1: at the sky and drove right like I do. Everyone. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's just imagine that you have a special car that
Speaker 1: can drive like a rocket right, so you you'd be
Speaker 1: surprised at what the FOURD escape. Let's say your FOURD
Speaker 1: escape wants to really escape. You drive straight up, it
Speaker 1: would take you one hour to get to space, which
Speaker 1: means it takes less time to get to space than
Speaker 1: would to drive across l A. Wow. Wow, so he
Speaker 1: did exactly. You know, it just puts his stuff into perspective.
Speaker 1: It's an hour long car drive. Come to go, a
Speaker 1: long car drive, have an afford escape? Yeah, I guess,
Speaker 1: good job. Oh and you took Captain Kirk with you. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you know it's also ridiculous. Besides all that tell
Speaker 1: me Pablo Escobar's cocaine hippo. Now, if you're wondering, cocaine,
Speaker 1: hippos are not actually made of cocaine, but they were
Speaker 1: paid with it or paid for with it're paid in cocaine,
Speaker 1: You're paid in cocaine. They're cocaine warriors if you If
Speaker 1: you go online right, just type in the words Pablo
Speaker 1: Escobar and hippos, you'll see a bunch of headlines and
Speaker 1: like there be things like Pablo Escobar why scientists want
Speaker 1: to kill Colombia's hippos And they're like, what what did
Speaker 1: Pablo Escobar too? That makes like the worst mad live exactly.
Speaker 1: Dudude Bro has been dead for almost thirty years that
Speaker 1: people are still blaming the state of Columbia on him.
Speaker 1: I mean this case, it airs a direct connection. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know he's pretty much less well, he could be
Speaker 1: on the island, but Tupac. Yeah yeah, maybe that's a
Speaker 1: private island. Did it is a fun island. He's a
Speaker 1: lot of fast folks, a problematic island, super fun. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you're ready for a very very bizarre story about
Speaker 1: a group of hippos who have recently been legally determined
Speaker 1: to be people under US laws. Right, this is all
Speaker 1: the same story. Okay. Our story starts in sub Saharan Africa. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just a bunch of hippos have been minding their own
Speaker 1: chilling in a lake in Africa. When they are abducted
Speaker 1: and they're brought to New Orleans, You're like, wait, what, Well,
Speaker 1: soon after they're in New Orleans and they don't stay
Speaker 1: there long. They've become part of an exotic animal zoo,
Speaker 1: constructed to amuse one of the world's richest men, the
Speaker 1: infamous cocaine cartel leader. You know him. I love him,
Speaker 1: the one and only Pablo Escobar. I love not really,
Speaker 1: but it's more fun to say it that way. Now,
Speaker 1: the animals that Pablo Escobar, you know, the ones that
Speaker 1: we are now collectively going to be calling cocaine hippos.
Speaker 1: They have become this unofficial symbol of Colombia's sense of itself.
Speaker 1: It's modern post Escobar sense of its off, and it's
Speaker 1: also kind of reminiscent of their strange and violent history.
Speaker 1: It's a way of recognizing who they are and who
Speaker 1: they are becoming. Right, the cocaine hippos recommend they kind
Speaker 1: of represent that transition. I swear it sounds wild, right,
Speaker 1: but you have to understand that Colombia is also the
Speaker 1: place that gave us magical realism of Gabriel Garcia Marchez.
Speaker 1: So having cocaine hippos be a symbol of the country
Speaker 1: it's really not that far fetched for Columbia now. It is.
Speaker 1: It's an element of magical realism. Now. However, though, at
Speaker 1: the moment, the government of Columbia they want to kill
Speaker 1: these hippos. That's not cool. Well, they also may want
Speaker 1: to castrate them. They haven't made up their mind, so
Speaker 1: they have options. Yeah, exactly, f Mary kill Mary, castrate Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like that game. So there is a bunch of
Speaker 1: stuff that is going to be swirling around this. So
Speaker 1: there's basically Pablo Escobar, there's a Colombian government, and there's
Speaker 1: gonna be the U. S government. But there's going to
Speaker 1: be essentially a fight over are these hippos people? So
Speaker 1: why people care if these cocaine hippos are people, Well,
Speaker 1: that's because the US and the Colombian government basically orphaned
Speaker 1: these hippos in their joint anti narcotics operation to take
Speaker 1: down Pablo Escobar. You see, the cops killed Pablo Escobar,
Speaker 1: and that left these hippos stranded in Colombia where they
Speaker 1: have remained and really proliferated. Just I'm talking like happy,
Speaker 1: happy hippos. They are hungry, hungry, they're horny, horny hippos.
Speaker 1: So you're ready to hear the full story of Pablo
Speaker 1: Escobar's cocaine hippos. You bet. This is Ridiculous Crime a
Speaker 1: podcast about absurd and outrageous capers, heists and cons. It's
Speaker 1: always murder free and a guaranteed one hundred percent ridiculous. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's Forbes comes out with this list of the richest
Speaker 1: people in the world. On that list is this ultra
Speaker 1: wealthy Colombian named Pablo Escobar. His fortune is estimated at
Speaker 1: thirty billion dollars at the time, which in today's money
Speaker 1: about sixty six billion, which makes him richer than the
Speaker 1: queen at the time, Queen of England. That is wow. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of money. But you know, well, cocaine
Speaker 1: is a hell of a business, not just a hell
Speaker 1: of a drug, So there's a lot of money in it,
Speaker 1: I hear. Yeah, No, it's a good one, Nick, if
Speaker 1: you're looking to make money cocaine. Yeah, that's what I
Speaker 1: would tell people, Like, look, young people, just major in cocaine.
Speaker 1: It's a growth and it's total growth. So Paulo Escobar
Speaker 1: he takes all his cocaine profits and he buys just
Speaker 1: a ton of stuff. I'm talking. He had multiple ranches
Speaker 1: because you know, South American men have like a thing
Speaker 1: for ranches and like the bulls and like the that
Speaker 1: inherited Spanish legacy of what are you gonna do when
Speaker 1: you're wealthy is to get and stancia rancho up hastienda, right,
Speaker 1: So he wants to get his He gets multiple ones.
Speaker 1: He also buys a private island called Le Grande, and
Speaker 1: on La le Grande he puts in la cassa grande,
Speaker 1: which you know, it just means the big guest, which
Speaker 1: is ironic. In this big house, he has three hundred
Speaker 1: guest rooms. So it's basically a hotel. No, you gotta
Speaker 1: see this thing. Yeah, it's basically a hotel. I guess
Speaker 1: you could describe it that way, but it's like, um,
Speaker 1: I don't know, like a medieval monastery in terms when
Speaker 1: you look at it, where it's like really long, like
Speaker 1: from the when you look at the building, it's like
Speaker 1: white stone. It's these like you know, oval windows. It's
Speaker 1: just like a really strikes like a boutique hotel. Yeah, sure,
Speaker 1: let's go with that. It's a boutique hotel, something you
Speaker 1: find on like monsierrat or comes right. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I've never been there. But in each of these three
Speaker 1: hundred guest rooms, he's got like all gold shower heads.
Speaker 1: Oh for three hundred all gold shower has. Most of
Speaker 1: the time they're not being used. Yeah, you have to
Speaker 1: it right there. So now let's see. He also owned
Speaker 1: about let's see, you think, fifteen private jets because you know,
Speaker 1: you've got to move that cocaine and that money around.
Speaker 1: Gets six helicopters, a fleet of cars because he and
Speaker 1: his brother loved to race cars. So they just had
Speaker 1: like every fast car you could name, multiple times over,
Speaker 1: and three whole pairs of pants exactly, and two pairs
Speaker 1: of socks because he's an efficient business. I got we
Speaker 1: wear one, you wash one. So Pablo Escobar, he's made
Speaker 1: this fortune smuggling cocaine into America because America loves cocaine.
Speaker 1: And now meanwhile, he's making so much money that he
Speaker 1: is like, he's writing off two billion dollars each year.
Speaker 1: Just two rats, two rats, the rats, because he's putting
Speaker 1: money in bags and burying it. He's putting money in
Speaker 1: like rooftops and hiding it up in the rafters. He's
Speaker 1: putting money every where he can that he thinks that
Speaker 1: the cops won't find because he can't just go to
Speaker 1: the bank exactly, he can't go to the A c.
Speaker 1: M And just feed cash in. Yeah, it's got to
Speaker 1: launder that money before it can be used, right, So
Speaker 1: the rats they go, oh, thanks, bro, you made us
Speaker 1: some money. Snack, and they would just go and eat
Speaker 1: through these bags of money, and they eat so much
Speaker 1: each year that he has to write off two billion dollars. Yes,
Speaker 1: and he's just like cool, not a problem, just writting
Speaker 1: it off to the rats. Keep them rats happy. There's
Speaker 1: still apparently there's like all these rumors that there's Pablo
Speaker 1: Escobars millions or rather billions buried all throughout Columbia. People
Speaker 1: constantly go and try to find it. And the government
Speaker 1: of Columbia has found a bunch of money, and these
Speaker 1: like barrels because the money will rot if it's allowed.
Speaker 1: If it's if, you bury it and most likely rot
Speaker 1: unless you do something to basically minimize the moisture. So
Speaker 1: if you can, you know, her medically seal the money,
Speaker 1: you can have a pretty good chance that money would
Speaker 1: still be there and not off all rotted. So they
Speaker 1: should have invested in digging it up. They should have
Speaker 1: invested in a food saver vacuum sealer. That's you know what.
Speaker 1: Public Escobar needed you on his team. I would have
Speaker 1: been so helpful. God, he probably would still be alive.
Speaker 1: I'm kind of a logistic scale. Yeah, So let's just
Speaker 1: say you were Pablo Escobar and you had a huge
Speaker 1: sum of billions of dollars that you've made off of
Speaker 1: the cocaine trade. What would you want to buy with
Speaker 1: billions of dollars? Like? Whatever you want? Pretty much obviously right,
Speaker 1: you can do whatever you want. Now, you don't have
Speaker 1: to do something. I know you think of something noble
Speaker 1: and charity. Could you imagine how could you imagine like
Speaker 1: you could wipe out people's medical debt? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: like or like student loans. So let's go something. I'll
Speaker 1: reframe the question. What would you buy or build exclusively
Speaker 1: for your enjoyment, something that would be a selfish guilty pleasure.
Speaker 1: Mm hm, you know me, that's really hard. I know.
Speaker 1: That's why I had to reframe the question just to
Speaker 1: even get you there, um some custom made Adidas. Oh
Speaker 1: you know what I would, Well, it's not I can't
Speaker 1: even think. I guess I think of like you know, oh,
Speaker 1: you'd build like this, me using a huge mansion and
Speaker 1: like so but I don't know if i'd populate it
Speaker 1: with like my family so that I haven't like enough
Speaker 1: use for the space. Otherwise it feels wasteful. I don't
Speaker 1: like wastefulness. So like if I if I built like
Speaker 1: this gigantic mansion, there'd be all these rooms, and I
Speaker 1: guess you could just tell people to come hang out whenever,
Speaker 1: but like other you build an informal hotel. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: kind of would, but then I don't like to be
Speaker 1: around people a lot. So what if it's just like
Speaker 1: a mansion, but with all I don't know, not so
Speaker 1: many bedrooms, but like a really nice chef's kitchen. But
Speaker 1: then I'd be like, I have all this money, I
Speaker 1: could be like serving food to people who are hungry,
Speaker 1: And so you build market I sound like such a
Speaker 1: goody two shoes jerk saying that. But I mean, you
Speaker 1: have a hard time spending money on myself. I'm such
Speaker 1: a jerk, you know. And so I'm not being fake
Speaker 1: about it. I just can't make a like I don't
Speaker 1: like waste and I don't like selfishness and so and
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm selfish and that doing really nice
Speaker 1: stuff like that, that kind of self sacrifice makes me
Speaker 1: feel really good. That's why I do it, Like not
Speaker 1: why I do it, but it feels really good to
Speaker 1: help someone out, and like, even if you have to
Speaker 1: give it yourself, like, it's a really good feeling. So
Speaker 1: it's kind of how I get high on life. I
Speaker 1: take it back, you would not dare I paid attention,
Speaker 1: and no, I would be the worse. I think you
Speaker 1: guys should not do this. You're throwing your lives away
Speaker 1: and wasting this money. Please. Yeah, I'm talking about of
Speaker 1: buying the cocaine exactly to get them back into schooling. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: Carlo Escobar was not hung up with the moral quandaries
Speaker 1: that you had, and he decided to get himself something nice,
Speaker 1: which was an exotic zoo. So he's like that nice
Speaker 1: think of those animal I have a big problem with,
Speaker 1: like people not letting wild be wild. Problem. Well, he
Speaker 1: had enough land that, as you will hear, he let
Speaker 1: them go as you would say wild ish, maybe fairal
Speaker 1: where they're from. That's the difference, Like not at all.
Speaker 1: I can't relate. Until the animals are just in charge
Speaker 1: and they get to do what they want, We're all gone.
Speaker 1: Oh is there a timeline on that? Do we know that?
Speaker 1: I'm working on it? Okay, I got my car running
Speaker 1: out in the driveway. I'm working on it because I
Speaker 1: haven't been getting the newsletter and I would really like
Speaker 1: to hear about when that's going to happen. The Pablo
Speaker 1: Escobar zoo is I know, the unfortunate for you going
Speaker 1: to be sound gross and and hangous for the animals,
Speaker 1: and it was, but it was also a beautiful place
Speaker 1: to look at if you didn't have any issues about
Speaker 1: exploitation of the animals. So you have this like, um,
Speaker 1: you know, well, it's kind of a thing for people
Speaker 1: who have a bunch of money. Like El Chopo. He
Speaker 1: had a zoo too, right, and he was he was
Speaker 1: in Guadalahar. He had a little come with the little
Speaker 1: trains like you know, like your nephew likes to ride
Speaker 1: around on right, so here looking on with the little trains,
Speaker 1: and he'd ride around his zoo just the head all right, okay,
Speaker 1: so picture the head of the Cinelo cartel riding around
Speaker 1: his little train like he's got like his little conductor's
Speaker 1: hat on and he's pointing out, those are my my
Speaker 1: rocks over there. Because they want this like connect, they
Speaker 1: want to control something and they want to show excess.
Speaker 1: But then also it's very sort of infantilizing, right, Like
Speaker 1: it's they're going back to their childhoods, and you think, like,
Speaker 1: if you're gonna abandon all sorts of morality, there's probably
Speaker 1: some trauma at an early age. And I have taken
Speaker 1: this away from being funny and ridiculous, professor. But over
Speaker 1: here anyway, we're talking about murder his cartel leaders. I
Speaker 1: don't care if you just psychologize him to the point
Speaker 1: that they are not funny people. They weren't funny people
Speaker 1: to hurt people. Hurt people exactly, who are you? Paul
Speaker 1: little Pablito who had his like you know, tender heartbroken
Speaker 1: at a young age, and we don't know about he
Speaker 1: went and bought a zoo to cheer himself up and
Speaker 1: try to restore his We bought a zoo, he met
Speaker 1: am and got together. So just okay, what's what's just relief?
Speaker 1: Relieve some of the tension. Here. I want you to
Speaker 1: picture the zoo. I'm gonna walk you up to the
Speaker 1: zoo and into it. Okay, picture Pablo Escobar's secret estate.
Speaker 1: You I've led you there on this jungle path. We've
Speaker 1: arrived on a small plane and now we're walking up
Speaker 1: to it and you see we are Okay, just to
Speaker 1: put you into place, we are ninety miles east of Metalline,
Speaker 1: in the land where flowers grow in abundance. And you
Speaker 1: have this land, it's it's right basically at the equator,
Speaker 1: so there's almost no season. It's it's just always kind
Speaker 1: of spring like. It's just a really the flowers are
Speaker 1: always in blossom. That's why so many flowers grow there
Speaker 1: and they get shipped around the world is because of
Speaker 1: this climate. Right, sounds incredible. It's beautiful. The trees are
Speaker 1: filled with tropical birds. The air is warm, sweet with
Speaker 1: like the fruity smell of the blossoms of the flowers. Right,
Speaker 1: it's just idyllic. You know they're on a seaplane and
Speaker 1: where you wearing short shorts like magnum p I, baby,
Speaker 1: you know what are you kidding me? Come on now,
Speaker 1: I got on the Hawaiian shirt, the shorts shorts, bust.
Speaker 1: I just need this from my mental picture, all right,
Speaker 1: So yeah, keep picture that. So we come up to
Speaker 1: the Estancia that you ranch, right, it's in front of
Speaker 1: you as you approach. As we approach, you see a
Speaker 1: small airplane. It's on top of a gate, you know.
Speaker 1: And this gate is like one of those South American
Speaker 1: styles where it's just a you right into the ground.
Speaker 1: So at that gate there's a Piper super cub and
Speaker 1: a Piper Supercub is a small plane like a cessnum
Speaker 1: and it is balanced there. And this plane is a
Speaker 1: replica of Pablo Escarbar's first plane that he used to
Speaker 1: smuggle cocaine into the US. Right, yes, exactly. This started
Speaker 1: it all once you're about to see the wonders before
Speaker 1: you all started with this plane. Okay. So Pablo he
Speaker 1: has this overarching like basically catch phrase he's known for
Speaker 1: plato o plomo, right, and that means silver or lead,
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, And that is the attitude that has afforded
Speaker 1: all of this deca, so we're going to keep that
Speaker 1: in mind. But this place of Pablo is named Hacienda Napoles,
Speaker 1: the Naples the state is designed to look like a
Speaker 1: sixteenth century uh like ranch house that is built by
Speaker 1: the Conkys, or would have been built by the conquistadors,
Speaker 1: and his zoo is part of this ranch. So he's
Speaker 1: got this beautiful conquistador style home, all of these animals.
Speaker 1: And in the sense that this is something that is
Speaker 1: designed to be impressive, it's supposed to impress obviously his underlings,
Speaker 1: but anybody who comes there and he his cocaine associates,
Speaker 1: they're supposed to tell them I have the power of
Speaker 1: the state, because typically who has zoos the state, the
Speaker 1: state has zoos. Well with with my man Escobar, He's like, look,
Speaker 1: I want people to know through my exotic animals that
Speaker 1: I too can keep a life alive, exotic life where
Speaker 1: it shouldn't be, which is essentially what a zoo is.
Speaker 1: Right now, his collection of animals starts with that one
Speaker 1: singular desire and will take a quick break and I
Speaker 1: will tell you about what his collection looks like and
Speaker 1: how and why it included the cocaine hippos. I cannot wait. Okay,
Speaker 1: now you're ready to hear about Pablo Escobar zoo. We've
Speaker 1: gotten you to the gates, We've told you about the animals,
Speaker 1: but now we're going to see them and meet them.
Speaker 1: You're ready, yes, okay. Picture ostriches running loose on the
Speaker 1: Colombian plane. Picture giraffes gathered by the tropical trees. Picture
Speaker 1: elephants just often too the distance. Antelopes running in herds,
Speaker 1: All kinds of exotic birds, peacocks, various other exotic birds,
Speaker 1: all armed with semi amatic weapons. Yes, because they gotta
Speaker 1: keep Pablo safe. Yeah. And then there are also dinosaur statues,
Speaker 1: but the dinosaur statues were built from real dinosaur bones,
Speaker 1: so they just dinosaur, yeah basically. And then he had
Speaker 1: like also a statuary garden with like these giant octopuses
Speaker 1: doing like weird octopus dance stuff. He was in the art.
Speaker 1: I want to go to a natural history museum and
Speaker 1: be like, I love your dinosaur statues. That's an actual dinosaur.
Speaker 1: This is a beautiful statu I mean statutes like he'd
Speaker 1: skinned that he covered them in like a physical out
Speaker 1: in the dinosaur the bones. You couldn't see them all,
Speaker 1: like they're like in there. So it's like it's got
Speaker 1: like a boam, it's exactly to look like a dinosaur,
Speaker 1: but it has real dinosaur bones. Now did he put
Speaker 1: the feathers on it like they're supposed to have had.
Speaker 1: I don't know if he was that accurate. I don't
Speaker 1: think he wants because I don't even know that if
Speaker 1: we knew, actually know, because the Jurassic Park would have
Speaker 1: been coming out, right, So the research probably cooked up
Speaker 1: making dinosaurs. Yeah, just too busy, Yeah, with arts and
Speaker 1: crafts and cocaine, a single like trickle of blood coming
Speaker 1: out of one nostril on the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs all
Speaker 1: have one long cokemail just one man, and like necklaces
Speaker 1: with tiny spoons. Yeah, little things. I'm showing how old
Speaker 1: I am with like the oh you're late seven cocaine
Speaker 1: totally as a child. That's what started talking about Frank
Speaker 1: Serpico and the dirty New York Police. So now amongst
Speaker 1: these exotic animals of Pablo Escarbar there were the aforementioned
Speaker 1: cocaine hippos. Now they started out, there were four of
Speaker 1: them at the start. That's when we got when he
Speaker 1: got those hippos from New Orleans, there were four of them, right,
Speaker 1: there are three females, one male. The adams to a
Speaker 1: zoo and then Boo comes around. Pablito gets gunned down
Speaker 1: by the Colombian government and now we've got these stranded hippos.
Speaker 1: But the hippos have been humping and eating and producing
Speaker 1: poop at an extraordinary amount. And so now they have
Speaker 1: just basically started to take over their environment. They're little,
Speaker 1: you know, a micro environment, and they have started to
Speaker 1: change it. They have spread from the lake where they
Speaker 1: started into the local rivers and they are now four
Speaker 1: different lakes. And then they started to range the hippos
Speaker 1: like they get so bad that they actually spread out
Speaker 1: to Now you'll find them like a hundred and fifty
Speaker 1: miles away. What Yeah, and they're nocturnal, so the hippos
Speaker 1: are charging through Columbia at night, so I mean it's
Speaker 1: on their hind legs, under cover of darkness. So the
Speaker 1: reason why they were there is the Colombian government when
Speaker 1: they killed Pablo, they went and they seized up all
Speaker 1: the other animals. Right, they take the elephants. The drafts
Speaker 1: were like, hey, Bogata zoo. You want to bring them on, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but like they could get any takers for the hippos.
Speaker 1: You were like, no, I'm I'm good on hippos, and
Speaker 1: we're good. Plus it's a pain to move them. They're
Speaker 1: heavy and you can't tranquilize em easy. So they're like
Speaker 1: you know, and they're also hungry, hungry exactly. So they're
Speaker 1: like Colombian governments like, you know what, let's just leave
Speaker 1: them here. They'll build, they'll die, you know, because Nage'll
Speaker 1: take care of it. We don't have to do anything. Well,
Speaker 1: they were wrong. The hippos were like, man, y'all didn't
Speaker 1: even know how much we love Colombia. Oh, son, y'all
Speaker 1: messed up. Now we are cocaine exactly. You can't stop us.
Speaker 1: Pablo picked us for really good reasons. So here's the
Speaker 1: actual scientific reasons why Pablo did them. A solid is one,
Speaker 1: Colombia's wetlands have no natural predators for a hippo, nothing's
Speaker 1: gonna kill them except for old age to the weather
Speaker 1: is ideal, and but it's not because like they like,
Speaker 1: you know, the the springtime weather that you responded to.
Speaker 1: It's that they don't have droughts. In Columbia that they
Speaker 1: do in sub Saharan Africa, so you don't have to
Speaker 1: deal with that wet season, dry season and stuff. They
Speaker 1: just have constant water, which means constant food and constant humping.
Speaker 1: So they're just sitting there eaten, pumping, sleeping all the time.
Speaker 1: And a female can like within like you know, I
Speaker 1: think it's forward four and a half years or seven years,
Speaker 1: they can start I think it seven years actually they
Speaker 1: can start making babies. So what that means is basically
Speaker 1: once these hippo streity going, once they reach puberty, yeah,
Speaker 1: hippo puberty, they start basically knocking. Even though they're all
Speaker 1: one genetic population, you know, but because there were the
Speaker 1: three females in the one male that I guess there's
Speaker 1: enough variety that they've been very successful. So they've just
Speaker 1: been making incest uous hippos for decades now and they're
Speaker 1: up to about a dred and twenty. So they're just
Speaker 1: out there knocking boots. Yeah, well they love you know,
Speaker 1: they got water, they got food. So what's that you
Speaker 1: don't know offhand with the gestation period is the gestation
Speaker 1: period for hippo I do not long. I would imagine
Speaker 1: this long only because they are of the same family
Speaker 1: of whales, and whales have a really long gestation period,
Speaker 1: so I'm just guessing, I don't know Genus Biggins. There
Speaker 1: are pigs and and uh what called pigs and whales
Speaker 1: were have a common ancestor with the hippo, which is
Speaker 1: like this rum nata group, and then they go into
Speaker 1: the water and then they become fully aquatic as whales
Speaker 1: and becomes cetaceans, and then the hippo stays semi aquatic
Speaker 1: that keeps its toes a due exactly. So these these
Speaker 1: cocaine hippos, they're just rocking off in Columbia doing super well.
Speaker 1: But this is bad for Colombia's other wildlife because of
Speaker 1: how much the hippo's poop the hippos and I know
Speaker 1: it sounds like a joke, right, but it's like hippos
Speaker 1: their poop is turns out to be a really bad
Speaker 1: anaerobic problem. It basically pulls oxygen out of the water,
Speaker 1: so the available oxygen for the fish is not there.
Speaker 1: So that means if you were fish, and then if
Speaker 1: you're a fish, means if your otters, and then also
Speaker 1: if you're manatees, so these hippos are threatening to basically
Speaker 1: kill manatees. That's not cool, right, Everyone loves manatees, and
Speaker 1: like people are like, bro, come on now, like what's
Speaker 1: up with these cocaine hippos and their hippo crap? And
Speaker 1: exactly the manatees are like, you know, these super gentle
Speaker 1: sea cows. And everyone's like, oh, y'all like the new one. Huh,
Speaker 1: y'all got that new model. We're just over here. But
Speaker 1: what would you by the way, just you know, off handedly,
Speaker 1: cocaine hippos. I keep saying the term what would you
Speaker 1: have fixed cocaine to? What animal would you put cocaine
Speaker 1: in front of if you had a choice? Cocaine? Uh,
Speaker 1: what's something that's like I think it would be about
Speaker 1: for comedic effect or like in real life. I don't
Speaker 1: think in real life use this is like you know,
Speaker 1: it's a nickname that's associative to Pablo Escobar. I just mean, like,
Speaker 1: what would be a funny animal to refer to as
Speaker 1: a cocaine This a cocaine that, like the cocaine art vark.
Speaker 1: I think amster cocaine. Amster cocaine will not get off
Speaker 1: the hamster wheel. I think that is just you just
Speaker 1: described cocaine had like anyone who dugs code cocaine amster. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the new name for people. You see some you
Speaker 1: see someone, I'll toot it up. You're like, look at
Speaker 1: that coke cocaine hamster ever there? And then we shorten
Speaker 1: it and we just refer to them as hamsters. How
Speaker 1: will we know which ones are which? Though? Well, because
Speaker 1: if I if, if I'm at like a rock and
Speaker 1: roll show and I come out of the bathroom and
Speaker 1: I go, there's a bunch of hamsters in there, would
Speaker 1: immediately sharing a stall and I hear some snorts, You're
Speaker 1: not going to be like literal hamsters. You're like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, what why is there a hobbit trail in there?
Speaker 1: Is it broken? This club has a habit trail that
Speaker 1: runs all through the bathroom system. It's amazing. So I
Speaker 1: think that Zaren context clues context was okay, fair enough,
Speaker 1: fair enough? So how about this a more serious question?
Speaker 1: What would you do with a fast growing population of
Speaker 1: cocaine hippos and you had to get rid of them,
Speaker 1: organize them in revolt, have them leave themselves out of
Speaker 1: their exploitation, completely, break the chance, take over the cities. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if I had to get rid of them, I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's not my it's not my business. The government of
Speaker 1: Colombia has been taking that approach for a while. They've
Speaker 1: tried recently a more hands on approach. So basically, for
Speaker 1: the longest time they just blame Pablo Escobar. They're like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's pablos hippos. Anything they do, it's pablos. But then
Speaker 1: that didn't work after a while. Yes, he's dead, yeah exactly.
Speaker 1: After then they god, like ten fifteen years later, people like, bro,
Speaker 1: those are not pablos hippos anymore. I mean they are,
Speaker 1: but y'all have been letting them wild out. So the
Speaker 1: descendants of public exactly probably never met any of these hippos.
Speaker 1: So the Colombians are like, okay, well we can go
Speaker 1: through some options, and so they basically have tried most
Speaker 1: of the options you would think of. So let's start
Speaker 1: with a couple of them, right, Like, you got this
Speaker 1: invasive species and you're like, well, well, how do we
Speaker 1: get rid of them? Well, we brought them here, we
Speaker 1: could just send them back. So the first idea of
Speaker 1: the old idea send them back to Africa. Had that
Speaker 1: one that one met with about the same responses the
Speaker 1: first time they tried it, because it was like, that'll
Speaker 1: be too expensive. How are we going to do that?
Speaker 1: We want to do it, but how are we going
Speaker 1: to do it? It's like a whole nightmare on the
Speaker 1: Hippo star line, exactly, the Black Hippo Star. The thing is,
Speaker 1: it's like those those dudes, those hippos aren't yeah exactly,
Speaker 1: not anymore. Yeah, So it's like, y'all got some South
Speaker 1: American hippos. I don't know what to take speak Spanish. Well.
Speaker 1: Then the other issue is that the Colembian government has
Speaker 1: had to start to solve this problem because now the
Speaker 1: cartel is smuggling these baby hippos. They go and have
Speaker 1: ducked the baby hippos and smuggle them out of Colombia.
Speaker 1: So the cycle has come full circle and the cartel
Speaker 1: is now they're selling them overseas. Whoever wants a baby hippo.
Speaker 1: They're like, we got some baby hippos. What y'all need?
Speaker 1: Billionaires who have too much money and they're like, what
Speaker 1: can I put in my palatial estate about baby hippo hippos?
Speaker 1: And so people like yo, I know somebody I can
Speaker 1: hook you up with that you want to go out
Speaker 1: on a kilo and two baby hippos like kid, their
Speaker 1: kid gets a hippo for its fourth birthday and the
Speaker 1: kids riding the hippo on the grass until it loses
Speaker 1: interest and they're like, he did you feed the hippo today?
Speaker 1: Where's your where's your hippo? Becky? Did you If you
Speaker 1: get me a hippo, I promise I'll take care of it.
Speaker 1: Hippos are violent. Oh yeah, that's the other thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they naps that kid in half. No more than any
Speaker 1: other wildlife in Africa. That includes the king cobra, the lion,
Speaker 1: the elephants, rhinos, all those hyena. None of them get
Speaker 1: close down. Many of the hippo hippos just will snap
Speaker 1: you all neck. So proud of them. So there have
Speaker 1: been some other approaches. The Colinbian government that came up
Speaker 1: has come up with. One of them was the always
Speaker 1: the old fashioned well we could eat them because well
Speaker 1: this this was a real thing. This came up and
Speaker 1: basically this this hippo died of semi natural causes semi
Speaker 1: natural s to suicide. He ran into an electrified fence
Speaker 1: and so it was like half cooked. It's not semi
Speaker 1: natural causes because no one actively killed the hippo. The
Speaker 1: kip hippo wandered into a kill environment. I don't know
Speaker 1: what to tell you, but it's not natural because it's
Speaker 1: not like the natural electrified fences like eels get together
Speaker 1: and like hanging from trees just to like experience. People like,
Speaker 1: let somebody come through, come through, come through, Come on.
Speaker 1: It's like a hazing thing in the jungle of these Okay,
Speaker 1: so we'll call it. We'll call it a negligent death. Okay,
Speaker 1: negligent homicide. Death of this hippo occurred and the locals
Speaker 1: were like, well, it's it's already kind of cooks. What
Speaker 1: what do you think it taste like? So they divided
Speaker 1: it up and then they like you know, partitioned it
Speaker 1: up amongst each other, and then we went to town.
Speaker 1: They were like, that's so good hippo meat. I mean,
Speaker 1: if another one comes through here and it gets killed
Speaker 1: on Bob's fence, it's like when you're driving down the
Speaker 1: street and your windows are down and you smell someone barbecuing.
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, that's good, that's really good. Should I
Speaker 1: go and pretend I'm a relative. That was the neighbors
Speaker 1: with hippo. They were like, oh, that kind of it's
Speaker 1: got some real hits, a little different kind of comes
Speaker 1: out to the nose and says hello. So this they
Speaker 1: have called me. Government's like, hey, is this is something
Speaker 1: we can do? We heard some locals that we're eating
Speaker 1: some electrified hippo meat. Is that something we could push
Speaker 1: off on the people? And biologists is like, well yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean there's a high fat content, it could probably
Speaker 1: marble well, and maybe if you paired it with local
Speaker 1: spices it could be a really good meal. Which did
Speaker 1: How about you? Do you remember when Louisiana tried to
Speaker 1: do this with Nutria with that giant beaver and they're like, okay, people,
Speaker 1: we tried to get you to shoot them, and you
Speaker 1: wouldn't do that. What if would you just eat them?
Speaker 1: Let's come up with some recipes, people, and they put
Speaker 1: out a state like a cookbook for Nutria and nibble
Speaker 1: on them, tiny little real exactly get some of that
Speaker 1: rib meat. Work real hard for it. It's sort of
Speaker 1: like a cornish game hyn a Louisiana game. Hyna. Well,
Speaker 1: you're good at cooking, how would you prepare a hippo.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like it's in my mind
Speaker 1: because you said this is like a high fat cun
Speaker 1: But I don't believe it's like marble. Do you probably
Speaker 1: have to get through a fat layer. Yeah, I imagine
Speaker 1: it's it's more like whales where you have like blubber
Speaker 1: or it's a condensed I mean, then I'll use the
Speaker 1: techniques I use when cooking whales. Yeah, okay, than never mind.
Speaker 1: I mean I bet you could get like a hippo
Speaker 1: steak somehow, like get some sort of because they're strong,
Speaker 1: very very so you get you tapped into that muscle though.
Speaker 1: Oh probably. And I don't know if if it's something
Speaker 1: you kind of got to like stew to soften, got
Speaker 1: to tender eye, it probably. Yeah. I don't know any
Speaker 1: of these things. I'm just making this stuff up. Hippo tacos,
Speaker 1: hippo tacos. You know, I can make anything into a taco.
Speaker 1: About talent, people like what is Elizabeth like? Well, if
Speaker 1: you can make anything into a taco and she loves
Speaker 1: the television show nine one one, Yeah, those are thats
Speaker 1: pretty much all I think. That's full stop. That's my autobiography.
Speaker 1: So Colombia is like, um, well we've tried all these
Speaker 1: different approaches. Well we could always do the old well,
Speaker 1: you know, stand by just shoot them. We could just
Speaker 1: go out and hunt them and shoot them. And the
Speaker 1: people are like, bro, bro, you canna let God sort
Speaker 1: them out. That is not the approach. They're like, well,
Speaker 1: hear us out. So when they had a like this
Speaker 1: rampaging hippo going around in the rural back country, the
Speaker 1: locals were like, help us up as we got this
Speaker 1: hippo is just rampaging in the back country. And the
Speaker 1: Columbian government's like, okay, we got you son, We'll send
Speaker 1: out like the killed team. So he send out to
Speaker 1: you like the army, and the army goes out there.
Speaker 1: You know, A K forty seven is the whole bit.
Speaker 1: And uh, they hunt down this hippo, they kill it,
Speaker 1: and then they make the mistake of taking a picture
Speaker 1: with it. Yep, they know the whole group. There's like,
Speaker 1: you can find this picture of Peppe the hippo dead,
Speaker 1: surrounded by Colombian army folks all smiling. And when that
Speaker 1: photo hit the internet, what do you think happened? Angry? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so a bunch of people got pissed and it was
Speaker 1: so bad that the Colombians protest. It was an international
Speaker 1: incident online. The Columbian people. They went down and protested
Speaker 1: in front of the environmental ministry and Bogata. They're like,
Speaker 1: y'all can't do this to Pepe ended any of the
Speaker 1: other hippos. This is not gonna be cool. People are like, oh, well, okay, well,
Speaker 1: I guess we can't come back to Africa. We can't
Speaker 1: eat them, we can't shoot him. What are we gonna do? Miriam?
Speaker 1: No good guests though that came up with the last one.
Speaker 1: Castrat um ouch exactly. You don't even have tests. So
Speaker 1: I will explain to you after the short break how
Speaker 1: the answer of castration also is failing. Okay, So if
Speaker 1: I had to ask you, Elizabeth, why do you think
Speaker 1: it would be difficult to castrate to hippo? Well, it's
Speaker 1: like there do they have four h like the agricultural
Speaker 1: It's like it's like homest harvest hippo. Yeah. I think
Speaker 1: that's like they teach the kids to wrastle down the hippos.
Speaker 1: And I don't think their nuts. No, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't think they have that I don't. I would
Speaker 1: imagine that it's well again, I'm going to go back
Speaker 1: to the angry, angry hippo that they're a very big
Speaker 1: animal and they're very angry. So that is a good read.
Speaker 1: And they don't have like rodeo pens in the rivers
Speaker 1: where they live in lakes. You got to get them
Speaker 1: out of the lake. I don't know. You know what,
Speaker 1: why don't you tell me? Well? These are all you
Speaker 1: pretty much nailed the basics. Ones, big animal, mean animal
Speaker 1: can be mean when confronted, or it's a territorial animal.
Speaker 1: You get into their territory, the act that way, and
Speaker 1: then lives in muddy water. So how are you gonna
Speaker 1: get You gonna get in there the water and put
Speaker 1: it like a strap on Nathan and helicopter amount. You're
Speaker 1: gonna get in there with a tractor and drag them out.
Speaker 1: You have to give to the animal, right, So they're like,
Speaker 1: well that's difficult. But then there's something even more difficult.
Speaker 1: Hippos are sexually dimorphic. Yeah, it's actually dimorphic means you
Speaker 1: can't tell a male hippo from a female hippo. Hippo
Speaker 1: is essentially a genderless animal like a Kendall. No, no,
Speaker 1: not like that. It's not smooth front, but it turns
Speaker 1: out it is. It's like they have, you know, the
Speaker 1: actual sexes. There are a male and female hippop, but
Speaker 1: you but looking at him, there are no there's no
Speaker 1: descended genitalia, there is no coloration difference, there's no size difference.
Speaker 1: They look identical, and their genitals you cannot parse from
Speaker 1: looking at them as if it's male or female because
Speaker 1: it looks like smooth Kendall. When you like everybody, Okay,
Speaker 1: I got I'll give that to you. Though, hippo looks
Speaker 1: like a smooth Kendall. I'll give you out points. That's
Speaker 1: kind of cute that there's no difference. Yeah, no, right,
Speaker 1: it's not the only Okay, not to be delicate, but like,
Speaker 1: how do they how do they do their uh reproductive business,
Speaker 1: their muddy business. You know what happens is apparently the
Speaker 1: going as the testies of a male hippo are up
Speaker 1: in the body, like up like ovaries. They are like
Speaker 1: way up high in the body. So if you're gonna
Speaker 1: try to find those, you can't reach them, but the
Speaker 1: penis is going to be able to get out and
Speaker 1: you know, do all the business you want for like
Speaker 1: a sexual interaction between you and miss hippo. So they're
Speaker 1: like anies. Everybody's in it. It's kind of like a
Speaker 1: dog whether the penis comes out, but like a lot
Speaker 1: of animals have a penis bone, so that kind of
Speaker 1: like helps it pop out. Like the human beings, we
Speaker 1: don't have a penis bone. We have like a ligament
Speaker 1: and some blood pressure to make our penis works. But
Speaker 1: there's when they get excited, you know, pops out. It's
Speaker 1: like one of those birthday party horns or you it's
Speaker 1: hippo penis so and I don't know if they're like
Speaker 1: horses where they're like huge and hung or if they're
Speaker 1: like you know, smaller animals, but they have like if
Speaker 1: you look at like a boor a pig, they're close
Speaker 1: relative you'll see the balls from behind, right, not the
Speaker 1: case for the hippop. So if you're trying to castrate
Speaker 1: them and you can't find the gont, you have to
Speaker 1: make difficult so you have to tranquilize them surgery. And
Speaker 1: then if you now, let's say you have this tranquilized hippo,
Speaker 1: which is by the way, a very difficult animal to
Speaker 1: tranquilse because it's so thick and so heavy, and they
Speaker 1: don't know how much to give it. Thick th i
Speaker 1: c c oh double c thick that hippop thick. But
Speaker 1: some of these thick hippos that you can't tranquilize, they
Speaker 1: will get angry if they wake up in the middle
Speaker 1: of the surgery, like your hand all up on their
Speaker 1: go and adds that are up in their body cavity problems.
Speaker 1: Sterilize them, good question. There actually are chemical castration. So
Speaker 1: chemical castration means you put the sterilizing agent into their
Speaker 1: food and if you do that, then you just have
Speaker 1: to put the food out. They eat the food. Food
Speaker 1: gets them sterilized. Or you can do the other way,
Speaker 1: which is basically you put the food in a pen.
Speaker 1: They come up to the pen, you don't close the door,
Speaker 1: they eat the food, they leave. You put the food
Speaker 1: in the pen, they come up to the pen, they
Speaker 1: don't close the door, and eventually you close the door
Speaker 1: and then you tranquilize them in the pen. That's the
Speaker 1: other approach. So you've got two approaches. You can either
Speaker 1: you know, feed them something, or you can go up
Speaker 1: and tranquilize them after tricking them. Now, the big deal
Speaker 1: with that is is it costs about fifty dollars to
Speaker 1: try to do most of these efforts I've described, So
Speaker 1: the cheapest approach is to turn to the Americans who
Speaker 1: have offered up free sterilizing agents at the Department of
Speaker 1: Agriculture invented. They're like, hey, bro, we got this for you.
Speaker 1: So we're like, this will be cheap and easy. You
Speaker 1: just give the hippos this. But people you know around
Speaker 1: the world, animal rights activists, Hippo Lovers United, They're like,
Speaker 1: you can't do that to the hippos. And remember the
Speaker 1: people of Columbia they see it as like a national emblem,
Speaker 1: so they don't want these hippos mistreated. So and also
Speaker 1: the hippos themselves, you know, they are a charming animal there.
Speaker 1: Even though they are really aggressive. People don't think of
Speaker 1: them that way. They think of them in the Disney
Speaker 1: terms of being like in the two twos and dancing
Speaker 1: a hippo is this it's not seen as an aggressor.
Speaker 1: So people aren't siding with the manatees in this issue.
Speaker 1: You would think that the animal rights activists will be
Speaker 1: able to make the case. But they're like, say, the hippos.
Speaker 1: So people are like, well, why well, how are we
Speaker 1: going to save these hippos and people? Animal rights activists
Speaker 1: are like, I've got it. Will turn hippos into people.
Speaker 1: Well not exactly, not like scientifically into people, just legally
Speaker 1: into people because if you want to castrate them chemically,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna use this weird US government sterilyzing agent,
Speaker 1: now he don't just put them on like the Megan's List.
Speaker 1: So I understand. What happens is they take these hippos
Speaker 1: and they give them personhood right and the reason why
Speaker 1: to do that. It's just like corporations, it's exactly. So
Speaker 1: no hippos and corporations all have more legal rights than
Speaker 1: I do. I love this. So the hippos they this
Speaker 1: this drug that they're trying to give them right, it's
Speaker 1: called going to colne like like gone going ads, but
Speaker 1: like not going ads, like going to Colm right, So
Speaker 1: like g O N A c O N. Yes, going
Speaker 1: like comic con comicon for gonads. So this stuff I
Speaker 1: will not attend that it's been it's been designated to
Speaker 1: be not good for hippos because it's for like you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know, like elk and horses and native North
Speaker 1: American wildlife to people like this is not designed for hippos,
Speaker 1: so the animal rights actors or you can't do that.
Speaker 1: Columbia is like, well, we got these free drugs, so
Speaker 1: we're thinking about doing it. So they give the hippos,
Speaker 1: they go to court, they file a lawsuit. So there's
Speaker 1: like animal rights activists, they file lawsuits and they've been
Speaker 1: doing this for a while, Like there's one guy, Luis
Speaker 1: Domingo Gomez Maldonado. He's been like really key and leading
Speaker 1: the fight. So by giving these animals personhood, then they
Speaker 1: have to be respected and they have to be treated humanely.
Speaker 1: That's the whole point, right, So that's kind of neat,
Speaker 1: But this idea is based on the This idea of
Speaker 1: giving them personhood is based on a larger environmental approach
Speaker 1: that has been very successful. Australia has given personhood to rivers,
Speaker 1: the Colombians have given personhood to parts of the Amazon
Speaker 1: based on the Amazon rainforest. So this is actually an
Speaker 1: expanding model. So these these cocaine hippos may signal the
Speaker 1: forefront of a new legal fight that we can possibly
Speaker 1: say things we love on this planet and maybe even
Speaker 1: save things like rivers and trees by treating them humanely
Speaker 1: like people. So ultimately this could be a very helpful
Speaker 1: step along the way for us all living better. So
Speaker 1: we maybe owe a debt of gratitude of these cocaine
Speaker 1: hippos for making us treat each other and animals more humane.
Speaker 1: And they too can go into bankruptcy over an ambulance
Speaker 1: ride exactly. So, now that uh Pablo Escobar's cocaine hippos
Speaker 1: are legally considered people under American law, and which was
Speaker 1: the court case that was like in the news re
Speaker 1: cently we have the standpoint to work with. But what
Speaker 1: I want to know is if you could give and
Speaker 1: grant personhood to any animal, which way animal would you pick?
Speaker 1: Bears and wolves? Bears and wolves to save them or
Speaker 1: just because you want them to be able to like
Speaker 1: chill in places with you. I want them to be
Speaker 1: able to like go to school embedded themselves. Now I
Speaker 1: want to hang out with them, no, protect them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like that. I think I think the idea of
Speaker 1: person is actually a really cool idea. I was talking
Speaker 1: to an indigenous activist from Australia about this and that's
Speaker 1: what I first learned, that they turned a river into
Speaker 1: a person. That's like, what that sounded silly at first,
Speaker 1: but really it's kind of genius under our construction of law. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it is, but it's also it's difficult to
Speaker 1: get your head around in terms of like the definition
Speaker 1: of personhood and the idea of will and its ridic
Speaker 1: action that around. But there was also one other thing
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you that I learned while I was
Speaker 1: researching about these hippos. There was something all the American
Speaker 1: Hippo Bill, right, and it's just as fun as it sounds.
Speaker 1: There's his representative down from Louisiana. He's like, you know
Speaker 1: what we need to do to save America's bring us
Speaker 1: over some hippos. Because everyone's like, what what is this
Speaker 1: dude talking about? Why is he even in Congress? And
Speaker 1: how prescient that the Louisiana is going to be supprising
Speaker 1: later on? Way to bring it around? Yeah, you're welcome
Speaker 1: these Uh this bill that just put forward, the American
Speaker 1: Hippo Bill, it hits the floor of Congress, and the
Speaker 1: bill is quote, will authorize the importation and release of
Speaker 1: hippopotamuses into the values of Louisiana. Now, why would they
Speaker 1: want to release hippos unto the bias Louisiana. It wasn't
Speaker 1: to fight gators, if that's what you were thinking. It
Speaker 1: was to eat this like unwanted plant that was clogging
Speaker 1: up the waterway. So they're like, if we can get
Speaker 1: to eat that plant, and then you know we can
Speaker 1: do next. We can eat the hippos. So they're like,
Speaker 1: fight invasive species with invasive species, and then we'll eat
Speaker 1: the invasive species. Solved. And the reason why they came
Speaker 1: up with this idea is because they needed meat. So
Speaker 1: that's how they tried to get it right. So they
Speaker 1: put this. There's a huge push and I'm talking Washington
Speaker 1: Post is writing about this. New York Times is writing
Speaker 1: about this. Teddy Roosevelt is a huge fan. He's out there.
Speaker 1: He's just left the presidency, so he's like still a
Speaker 1: major figure in nineteen ten and he's sitting there going around.
Speaker 1: You know, America needs what he calls, by the way,
Speaker 1: lake cow bacon. That was lake cow bacon. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: was part of the like sales campaign to make it
Speaker 1: like a hip thing. We need eat fat content. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: delicious friends, that stuff on electric fence. I'm telling you, boy,
Speaker 1: get you some eels and keep in mind this American
Speaker 1: hippo bill. It almost passed in the end. We were
Speaker 1: just a few votes shy of America's adding lake cow
Speaker 1: bacon to all of our diets. Oh my god, it
Speaker 1: would have been like in school lunches. Yeah, instead of
Speaker 1: like like pepperoni pizza on Friday, it's hippo pizza. And
Speaker 1: then you'd have Peta dressing up like hippo's and oh yeah,
Speaker 1: laying around in front of a whole food screaming at people.
Speaker 1: So what do you think is ridiculous takeaway for the
Speaker 1: cocaine hippo story. Um, I think our ridiculous takeaway is
Speaker 1: that if you feel the impulse to show out and
Speaker 1: show off, think about what the ramifications of those actions
Speaker 1: may be. So if it involves another living thing that
Speaker 1: you're treating is just an object, it's probably not a
Speaker 1: good idea. So if you want to like flex on
Speaker 1: everyone and be like I got hippos, I got dinosaur bones,
Speaker 1: come on now, like, you know, think about the long
Speaker 1: term effectually, got a plan. I gotta think forward otherwise
Speaker 1: you know what you are ridiculous? Wait, to go. I
Speaker 1: think my ridiculous takeaway is, look, if you take something
Speaker 1: out of Africa and then it does somewhere else, does
Speaker 1: really well somewhere else, don't get mad at us. Thank you,
Speaker 1: all right, I'm just I'm just staying a plane. Thank
Speaker 1: you for joining us. I'm Elizabeth Dutton, I'm Sara and
Speaker 1: bent it. I just love that. I don't know, right. So,
Speaker 1: you can find us online at Ridiculous Crime on both
Speaker 1: Twitter and Instagram. You've got a tip for us about
Speaker 1: a ridiculous crime you'd like to hear about. Hit us up.
Speaker 1: You want to confess to one. Definitely hit us up.
Speaker 1: Email us at ridiculous Crime at gmail dot com. Sounds good,
Speaker 1: See around, and we're back next time with more particularly
Speaker 1: list crimes. But Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton
Speaker 1: and Zaron Burnett, produced and edited by the Chief Game
Speaker 1: Warden Dave Kuston, researched by our resident big game fact hunter,
Speaker 1: Merissa Brown. The theme song is by Don Carlos, Thomas
Speaker 1: Lee and Travis el Papo Dutton. Executive producers are Ben
Speaker 1: who Wants Some Lake Cow Bacon Bowling and Old Sammy
Speaker 1: Is Some Hippo Stakes. Brown. Ridiculous Crime is a production
Speaker 1: of I heart Radio. Four more podcasts My heart Radio,
Speaker 1: visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you
Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.