1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:04,480 Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of My Heart Radio. Hey Elizabeth, Yeah, 2 00:00:04,519 --> 00:00:07,640 Speaker 1: I know it's ridiculous. You know it's ridiculous. I will 3 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:11,400 Speaker 1: tell you it's ridiculous. That whole food fat of like 4 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,760 Speaker 1: putting gold leaf on food. Oh yeah, that's more than ridiculous. 5 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 1: It's absurd. Yeah, it's That's all I have to say 6 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 1: on it. It's ridiculous. Stop it. You know what I 7 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:23,200 Speaker 1: learned the other day is if you if you get 8 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:25,760 Speaker 1: gotten your car and you pointed your car straight up 9 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:29,319 Speaker 1: at the sky and drove right like I do. Everyone. Okay, 10 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 1: let's just imagine that you have a special car that 11 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,479 Speaker 1: can drive like a rocket right, so you you'd be 12 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 1: surprised at what the FOURD escape. Let's say your FOURD 13 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 1: escape wants to really escape. You drive straight up, it 14 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:43,520 Speaker 1: would take you one hour to get to space, which 15 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,879 Speaker 1: means it takes less time to get to space than 16 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: would to drive across l A. Wow. Wow, so he 17 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 1: did exactly. You know, it just puts his stuff into perspective. 18 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:59,320 Speaker 1: It's an hour long car drive. Come to go, a 19 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,960 Speaker 1: long car drive, have an afford escape? Yeah, I guess, 20 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:08,040 Speaker 1: good job. Oh and you took Captain Kirk with you. Okay, 21 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 1: so you know it's also ridiculous. Besides all that tell 22 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: me Pablo Escobar's cocaine hippo. Now, if you're wondering, cocaine, 23 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,560 Speaker 1: hippos are not actually made of cocaine, but they were 24 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,720 Speaker 1: paid with it or paid for with it're paid in cocaine, 25 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 1: You're paid in cocaine. They're cocaine warriors if you If 26 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 1: you go online right, just type in the words Pablo 27 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 1: Escobar and hippos, you'll see a bunch of headlines and 28 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 1: like there be things like Pablo Escobar why scientists want 29 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 1: to kill Colombia's hippos And they're like, what what did 30 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:43,399 Speaker 1: Pablo Escobar too? That makes like the worst mad live exactly. 31 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: Dudude Bro has been dead for almost thirty years that 32 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 1: people are still blaming the state of Columbia on him. 33 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 1: I mean this case, it airs a direct connection. Yeah, 34 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 1: I know he's pretty much less well, he could be 35 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:56,440 Speaker 1: on the island, but Tupac. Yeah yeah, maybe that's a 36 00:01:56,440 --> 00:02:01,640 Speaker 1: private island. Did it is a fun island. He's a 37 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:07,279 Speaker 1: lot of fast folks, a problematic island, super fun. Okay, 38 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: so you're ready for a very very bizarre story about 39 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:11,840 Speaker 1: a group of hippos who have recently been legally determined 40 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 1: to be people under US laws. Right, this is all 41 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:20,880 Speaker 1: the same story. Okay. Our story starts in sub Saharan Africa. Yeah, 42 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,160 Speaker 1: just a bunch of hippos have been minding their own 43 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 1: chilling in a lake in Africa. When they are abducted 44 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:29,239 Speaker 1: and they're brought to New Orleans, You're like, wait, what, Well, 45 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 1: soon after they're in New Orleans and they don't stay 46 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,200 Speaker 1: there long. They've become part of an exotic animal zoo, 47 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,360 Speaker 1: constructed to amuse one of the world's richest men, the 48 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,639 Speaker 1: infamous cocaine cartel leader. You know him. I love him, 49 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 1: the one and only Pablo Escobar. I love not really, 50 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:46,679 Speaker 1: but it's more fun to say it that way. Now, 51 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:50,800 Speaker 1: the animals that Pablo Escobar, you know, the ones that 52 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,680 Speaker 1: we are now collectively going to be calling cocaine hippos. 53 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:57,640 Speaker 1: They have become this unofficial symbol of Colombia's sense of itself. 54 00:02:57,639 --> 00:03:00,919 Speaker 1: It's modern post Escobar sense of its off, and it's 55 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,359 Speaker 1: also kind of reminiscent of their strange and violent history. 56 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,239 Speaker 1: It's a way of recognizing who they are and who 57 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 1: they are becoming. Right, the cocaine hippos recommend they kind 58 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:12,280 Speaker 1: of represent that transition. I swear it sounds wild, right, 59 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:14,400 Speaker 1: but you have to understand that Colombia is also the 60 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 1: place that gave us magical realism of Gabriel Garcia Marchez. 61 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,600 Speaker 1: So having cocaine hippos be a symbol of the country 62 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:23,920 Speaker 1: it's really not that far fetched for Columbia now. It is. 63 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:27,120 Speaker 1: It's an element of magical realism. Now. However, though, at 64 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,160 Speaker 1: the moment, the government of Columbia they want to kill 65 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 1: these hippos. That's not cool. Well, they also may want 66 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,600 Speaker 1: to castrate them. They haven't made up their mind, so 67 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:43,120 Speaker 1: they have options. Yeah, exactly, f Mary kill Mary, castrate Yeah, 68 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 1: I like that game. So there is a bunch of 69 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 1: stuff that is going to be swirling around this. So 70 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 1: there's basically Pablo Escobar, there's a Colombian government, and there's 71 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 1: gonna be the U. S government. But there's going to 72 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 1: be essentially a fight over are these hippos people? So 73 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 1: why people care if these cocaine hippos are people, Well, 74 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 1: that's because the US and the Colombian government basically orphaned 75 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:11,160 Speaker 1: these hippos in their joint anti narcotics operation to take 76 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:15,000 Speaker 1: down Pablo Escobar. You see, the cops killed Pablo Escobar, 77 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:18,120 Speaker 1: and that left these hippos stranded in Colombia where they 78 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:22,280 Speaker 1: have remained and really proliferated. Just I'm talking like happy, 79 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 1: happy hippos. They are hungry, hungry, they're horny, horny hippos. 80 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,000 Speaker 1: So you're ready to hear the full story of Pablo 81 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:51,719 Speaker 1: Escobar's cocaine hippos. You bet. This is Ridiculous Crime a 82 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:56,200 Speaker 1: podcast about absurd and outrageous capers, heists and cons. It's 83 00:04:56,320 --> 00:05:02,600 Speaker 1: always murder free and a guaranteed one hundred percent ridiculous. Okay, 84 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 1: it's Forbes comes out with this list of the richest 85 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:09,240 Speaker 1: people in the world. On that list is this ultra 86 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:13,960 Speaker 1: wealthy Colombian named Pablo Escobar. His fortune is estimated at 87 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,680 Speaker 1: thirty billion dollars at the time, which in today's money 88 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,640 Speaker 1: about sixty six billion, which makes him richer than the 89 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:23,240 Speaker 1: queen at the time, Queen of England. That is wow. Yeah, right, 90 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,800 Speaker 1: there's a lot of money. But you know, well, cocaine 91 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 1: is a hell of a business, not just a hell 92 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 1: of a drug, So there's a lot of money in it, 93 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 1: I hear. Yeah, No, it's a good one, Nick, if 94 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 1: you're looking to make money cocaine. Yeah, that's what I 95 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 1: would tell people, Like, look, young people, just major in cocaine. 96 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 1: It's a growth and it's total growth. So Paulo Escobar 97 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:47,680 Speaker 1: he takes all his cocaine profits and he buys just 98 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 1: a ton of stuff. I'm talking. He had multiple ranches 99 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,599 Speaker 1: because you know, South American men have like a thing 100 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,400 Speaker 1: for ranches and like the bulls and like the that 101 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,000 Speaker 1: inherited Spanish legacy of what are you gonna do when 102 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:03,240 Speaker 1: you're wealthy is to get and stancia rancho up hastienda, right, 103 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,080 Speaker 1: So he wants to get his He gets multiple ones. 104 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:09,240 Speaker 1: He also buys a private island called Le Grande, and 105 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 1: on La le Grande he puts in la cassa grande, 106 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,640 Speaker 1: which you know, it just means the big guest, which 107 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:19,040 Speaker 1: is ironic. In this big house, he has three hundred 108 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:22,480 Speaker 1: guest rooms. So it's basically a hotel. No, you gotta 109 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 1: see this thing. Yeah, it's basically a hotel. I guess 110 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 1: you could describe it that way, but it's like, um, 111 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 1: I don't know, like a medieval monastery in terms when 112 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,359 Speaker 1: you look at it, where it's like really long, like 113 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,080 Speaker 1: from the when you look at the building, it's like 114 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 1: white stone. It's these like you know, oval windows. It's 115 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:41,440 Speaker 1: just like a really strikes like a boutique hotel. Yeah, sure, 116 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,720 Speaker 1: let's go with that. It's a boutique hotel, something you 117 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,040 Speaker 1: find on like monsierrat or comes right. I don't know, 118 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 1: I've never been there. But in each of these three 119 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,800 Speaker 1: hundred guest rooms, he's got like all gold shower heads. 120 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:55,000 Speaker 1: Oh for three hundred all gold shower has. Most of 121 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 1: the time they're not being used. Yeah, you have to 122 00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:02,040 Speaker 1: it right there. So now let's see. He also owned 123 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:05,240 Speaker 1: about let's see, you think, fifteen private jets because you know, 124 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:07,240 Speaker 1: you've got to move that cocaine and that money around. 125 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 1: Gets six helicopters, a fleet of cars because he and 126 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 1: his brother loved to race cars. So they just had 127 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 1: like every fast car you could name, multiple times over, 128 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 1: and three whole pairs of pants exactly, and two pairs 129 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:22,040 Speaker 1: of socks because he's an efficient business. I got we 130 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 1: wear one, you wash one. So Pablo Escobar, he's made 131 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 1: this fortune smuggling cocaine into America because America loves cocaine. 132 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 1: And now meanwhile, he's making so much money that he 133 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,960 Speaker 1: is like, he's writing off two billion dollars each year. 134 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 1: Just two rats, two rats, the rats, because he's putting 135 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 1: money in bags and burying it. He's putting money in 136 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,120 Speaker 1: like rooftops and hiding it up in the rafters. He's 137 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:48,720 Speaker 1: putting money every where he can that he thinks that 138 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 1: the cops won't find because he can't just go to 139 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:52,600 Speaker 1: the bank exactly, he can't go to the A c. 140 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 1: M And just feed cash in. Yeah, it's got to 141 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 1: launder that money before it can be used, right, So 142 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 1: the rats they go, oh, thanks, bro, you made us 143 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 1: some money. Snack, and they would just go and eat 144 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:04,680 Speaker 1: through these bags of money, and they eat so much 145 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:09,000 Speaker 1: each year that he has to write off two billion dollars. Yes, 146 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 1: and he's just like cool, not a problem, just writting 147 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:16,680 Speaker 1: it off to the rats. Keep them rats happy. There's 148 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 1: still apparently there's like all these rumors that there's Pablo 149 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 1: Escobars millions or rather billions buried all throughout Columbia. People 150 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: constantly go and try to find it. And the government 151 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,920 Speaker 1: of Columbia has found a bunch of money, and these 152 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:30,400 Speaker 1: like barrels because the money will rot if it's allowed. 153 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:32,240 Speaker 1: If it's if, you bury it and most likely rot 154 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:36,040 Speaker 1: unless you do something to basically minimize the moisture. So 155 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 1: if you can, you know, her medically seal the money, 156 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,520 Speaker 1: you can have a pretty good chance that money would 157 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,160 Speaker 1: still be there and not off all rotted. So they 158 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,640 Speaker 1: should have invested in digging it up. They should have 159 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:49,240 Speaker 1: invested in a food saver vacuum sealer. That's you know what. 160 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:51,600 Speaker 1: Public Escobar needed you on his team. I would have 161 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:53,960 Speaker 1: been so helpful. God, he probably would still be alive. 162 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:59,160 Speaker 1: I'm kind of a logistic scale. Yeah, So let's just 163 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:02,080 Speaker 1: say you were Pablo Escobar and you had a huge 164 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,440 Speaker 1: sum of billions of dollars that you've made off of 165 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:07,880 Speaker 1: the cocaine trade. What would you want to buy with 166 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:12,360 Speaker 1: billions of dollars? Like? Whatever you want? Pretty much obviously right, 167 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:14,320 Speaker 1: you can do whatever you want. Now, you don't have 168 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,360 Speaker 1: to do something. I know you think of something noble 169 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:20,920 Speaker 1: and charity. Could you imagine how could you imagine like 170 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:24,840 Speaker 1: you could wipe out people's medical debt? Oh my god, 171 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:29,360 Speaker 1: like or like student loans. So let's go something. I'll 172 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 1: reframe the question. What would you buy or build exclusively 173 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 1: for your enjoyment, something that would be a selfish guilty pleasure. 174 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:41,680 Speaker 1: Mm hm, you know me, that's really hard. I know. 175 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 1: That's why I had to reframe the question just to 176 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:50,319 Speaker 1: even get you there, um some custom made Adidas. Oh 177 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:55,360 Speaker 1: you know what I would, Well, it's not I can't 178 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 1: even think. I guess I think of like you know, oh, 179 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 1: you'd build like this, me using a huge mansion and 180 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 1: like so but I don't know if i'd populate it 181 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,160 Speaker 1: with like my family so that I haven't like enough 182 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:10,000 Speaker 1: use for the space. Otherwise it feels wasteful. I don't 183 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:13,360 Speaker 1: like wastefulness. So like if I if I built like 184 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:17,080 Speaker 1: this gigantic mansion, there'd be all these rooms, and I 185 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,280 Speaker 1: guess you could just tell people to come hang out whenever, 186 00:10:19,559 --> 00:10:23,079 Speaker 1: but like other you build an informal hotel. Yeah, I 187 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:24,840 Speaker 1: kind of would, but then I don't like to be 188 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,920 Speaker 1: around people a lot. So what if it's just like 189 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,280 Speaker 1: a mansion, but with all I don't know, not so 190 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:35,400 Speaker 1: many bedrooms, but like a really nice chef's kitchen. But 191 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:36,920 Speaker 1: then I'd be like, I have all this money, I 192 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 1: could be like serving food to people who are hungry, 193 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:45,480 Speaker 1: And so you build market I sound like such a 194 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,079 Speaker 1: goody two shoes jerk saying that. But I mean, you 195 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,520 Speaker 1: have a hard time spending money on myself. I'm such 196 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:58,440 Speaker 1: a jerk, you know. And so I'm not being fake 197 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,560 Speaker 1: about it. I just can't make a like I don't 198 00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 1: like waste and I don't like selfishness and so and 199 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:08,440 Speaker 1: you know what, I'm selfish and that doing really nice 200 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:10,800 Speaker 1: stuff like that, that kind of self sacrifice makes me 201 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:13,240 Speaker 1: feel really good. That's why I do it, Like not 202 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,200 Speaker 1: why I do it, but it feels really good to 203 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 1: help someone out, and like, even if you have to 204 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,800 Speaker 1: give it yourself, like, it's a really good feeling. So 205 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,439 Speaker 1: it's kind of how I get high on life. I 206 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:29,000 Speaker 1: take it back, you would not dare I paid attention, 207 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,520 Speaker 1: and no, I would be the worse. I think you 208 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:34,720 Speaker 1: guys should not do this. You're throwing your lives away 209 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 1: and wasting this money. Please. Yeah, I'm talking about of 210 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:44,600 Speaker 1: buying the cocaine exactly to get them back into schooling. Yeah. Well, 211 00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:48,440 Speaker 1: Carlo Escobar was not hung up with the moral quandaries 212 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 1: that you had, and he decided to get himself something nice, 213 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:55,040 Speaker 1: which was an exotic zoo. So he's like that nice 214 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:57,839 Speaker 1: think of those animal I have a big problem with, 215 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 1: like people not letting wild be wild. Problem. Well, he 216 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:03,800 Speaker 1: had enough land that, as you will hear, he let 217 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:07,400 Speaker 1: them go as you would say wild ish, maybe fairal 218 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:11,319 Speaker 1: where they're from. That's the difference, Like not at all. 219 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:14,440 Speaker 1: I can't relate. Until the animals are just in charge 220 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,439 Speaker 1: and they get to do what they want, We're all gone. 221 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:17,959 Speaker 1: Oh is there a timeline on that? Do we know that? 222 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,439 Speaker 1: I'm working on it? Okay, I got my car running 223 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,000 Speaker 1: out in the driveway. I'm working on it because I 224 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,880 Speaker 1: haven't been getting the newsletter and I would really like 225 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,640 Speaker 1: to hear about when that's going to happen. The Pablo 226 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 1: Escobar zoo is I know, the unfortunate for you going 227 00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:33,800 Speaker 1: to be sound gross and and hangous for the animals, 228 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,959 Speaker 1: and it was, but it was also a beautiful place 229 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,679 Speaker 1: to look at if you didn't have any issues about 230 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:44,120 Speaker 1: exploitation of the animals. So you have this like, um, 231 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,760 Speaker 1: you know, well, it's kind of a thing for people 232 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 1: who have a bunch of money. Like El Chopo. He 233 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,200 Speaker 1: had a zoo too, right, and he was he was 234 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:52,840 Speaker 1: in Guadalahar. He had a little come with the little 235 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,719 Speaker 1: trains like you know, like your nephew likes to ride 236 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:56,760 Speaker 1: around on right, so here looking on with the little trains, 237 00:12:56,760 --> 00:13:01,040 Speaker 1: and he'd ride around his zoo just the head all right, okay, 238 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,320 Speaker 1: so picture the head of the Cinelo cartel riding around 239 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,960 Speaker 1: his little train like he's got like his little conductor's 240 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:09,000 Speaker 1: hat on and he's pointing out, those are my my 241 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:13,320 Speaker 1: rocks over there. Because they want this like connect, they 242 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:17,400 Speaker 1: want to control something and they want to show excess. 243 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:20,200 Speaker 1: But then also it's very sort of infantilizing, right, Like 244 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,800 Speaker 1: it's they're going back to their childhoods, and you think, like, 245 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:26,400 Speaker 1: if you're gonna abandon all sorts of morality, there's probably 246 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:28,960 Speaker 1: some trauma at an early age. And I have taken 247 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:33,800 Speaker 1: this away from being funny and ridiculous, professor. But over 248 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:37,920 Speaker 1: here anyway, we're talking about murder his cartel leaders. I 249 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,800 Speaker 1: don't care if you just psychologize him to the point 250 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:42,440 Speaker 1: that they are not funny people. They weren't funny people 251 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:48,320 Speaker 1: to hurt people. Hurt people exactly, who are you? Paul 252 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 1: little Pablito who had his like you know, tender heartbroken 253 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,880 Speaker 1: at a young age, and we don't know about he 254 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:56,559 Speaker 1: went and bought a zoo to cheer himself up and 255 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 1: try to restore his We bought a zoo, he met 256 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:05,080 Speaker 1: am and got together. So just okay, what's what's just relief? 257 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,880 Speaker 1: Relieve some of the tension. Here. I want you to 258 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,640 Speaker 1: picture the zoo. I'm gonna walk you up to the 259 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:15,520 Speaker 1: zoo and into it. Okay, picture Pablo Escobar's secret estate. 260 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:19,120 Speaker 1: You I've led you there on this jungle path. We've 261 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,760 Speaker 1: arrived on a small plane and now we're walking up 262 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,960 Speaker 1: to it and you see we are Okay, just to 263 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,760 Speaker 1: put you into place, we are ninety miles east of Metalline, 264 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,200 Speaker 1: in the land where flowers grow in abundance. And you 265 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:33,080 Speaker 1: have this land, it's it's right basically at the equator, 266 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,640 Speaker 1: so there's almost no season. It's it's just always kind 267 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,280 Speaker 1: of spring like. It's just a really the flowers are 268 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,480 Speaker 1: always in blossom. That's why so many flowers grow there 269 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:42,520 Speaker 1: and they get shipped around the world is because of 270 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:45,120 Speaker 1: this climate. Right, sounds incredible. It's beautiful. The trees are 271 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:47,960 Speaker 1: filled with tropical birds. The air is warm, sweet with 272 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,720 Speaker 1: like the fruity smell of the blossoms of the flowers. Right, 273 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 1: it's just idyllic. You know they're on a seaplane and 274 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,480 Speaker 1: where you wearing short shorts like magnum p I, baby, 275 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,000 Speaker 1: you know what are you kidding me? Come on now, 276 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,720 Speaker 1: I got on the Hawaiian shirt, the shorts shorts, bust. 277 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:07,920 Speaker 1: I just need this from my mental picture, all right, 278 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:10,200 Speaker 1: So yeah, keep picture that. So we come up to 279 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,800 Speaker 1: the Estancia that you ranch, right, it's in front of 280 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,720 Speaker 1: you as you approach. As we approach, you see a 281 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:18,160 Speaker 1: small airplane. It's on top of a gate, you know. 282 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,320 Speaker 1: And this gate is like one of those South American 283 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,640 Speaker 1: styles where it's just a you right into the ground. 284 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:27,200 Speaker 1: So at that gate there's a Piper super cub and 285 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,720 Speaker 1: a Piper Supercub is a small plane like a cessnum 286 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:32,600 Speaker 1: and it is balanced there. And this plane is a 287 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,240 Speaker 1: replica of Pablo Escarbar's first plane that he used to 288 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 1: smuggle cocaine into the US. Right, yes, exactly. This started 289 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,200 Speaker 1: it all once you're about to see the wonders before 290 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:47,040 Speaker 1: you all started with this plane. Okay. So Pablo he 291 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:50,840 Speaker 1: has this overarching like basically catch phrase he's known for 292 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:54,880 Speaker 1: plato o plomo, right, and that means silver or lead, 293 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, And that is the attitude that has afforded 294 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 1: all of this deca, so we're going to keep that 295 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:05,440 Speaker 1: in mind. But this place of Pablo is named Hacienda Napoles, 296 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,520 Speaker 1: the Naples the state is designed to look like a 297 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:12,680 Speaker 1: sixteenth century uh like ranch house that is built by 298 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 1: the Conkys, or would have been built by the conquistadors, 299 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 1: and his zoo is part of this ranch. So he's 300 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:22,520 Speaker 1: got this beautiful conquistador style home, all of these animals. 301 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:26,160 Speaker 1: And in the sense that this is something that is 302 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:29,800 Speaker 1: designed to be impressive, it's supposed to impress obviously his underlings, 303 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:32,040 Speaker 1: but anybody who comes there and he his cocaine associates, 304 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:34,080 Speaker 1: they're supposed to tell them I have the power of 305 00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:37,480 Speaker 1: the state, because typically who has zoos the state, the 306 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:42,040 Speaker 1: state has zoos. Well with with my man Escobar, He's like, look, 307 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,760 Speaker 1: I want people to know through my exotic animals that 308 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,600 Speaker 1: I too can keep a life alive, exotic life where 309 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:50,040 Speaker 1: it shouldn't be, which is essentially what a zoo is. 310 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:53,920 Speaker 1: Right now, his collection of animals starts with that one 311 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,320 Speaker 1: singular desire and will take a quick break and I 312 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,920 Speaker 1: will tell you about what his collection looks like and 313 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:25,960 Speaker 1: how and why it included the cocaine hippos. I cannot wait. Okay, 314 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,760 Speaker 1: now you're ready to hear about Pablo Escobar zoo. We've 315 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,440 Speaker 1: gotten you to the gates, We've told you about the animals, 316 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:33,560 Speaker 1: but now we're going to see them and meet them. 317 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:39,040 Speaker 1: You're ready, yes, okay. Picture ostriches running loose on the 318 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:48,880 Speaker 1: Colombian plane. Picture giraffes gathered by the tropical trees. Picture 319 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:52,920 Speaker 1: elephants just often too the distance. Antelopes running in herds, 320 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:58,520 Speaker 1: All kinds of exotic birds, peacocks, various other exotic birds, 321 00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:01,400 Speaker 1: all armed with semi amatic weapons. Yes, because they gotta 322 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,680 Speaker 1: keep Pablo safe. Yeah. And then there are also dinosaur statues, 323 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,879 Speaker 1: but the dinosaur statues were built from real dinosaur bones, 324 00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:12,159 Speaker 1: so they just dinosaur, yeah basically. And then he had 325 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:15,040 Speaker 1: like also a statuary garden with like these giant octopuses 326 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,639 Speaker 1: doing like weird octopus dance stuff. He was in the art. 327 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:20,359 Speaker 1: I want to go to a natural history museum and 328 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:25,200 Speaker 1: be like, I love your dinosaur statues. That's an actual dinosaur. 329 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,800 Speaker 1: This is a beautiful statu I mean statutes like he'd 330 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,800 Speaker 1: skinned that he covered them in like a physical out 331 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:35,239 Speaker 1: in the dinosaur the bones. You couldn't see them all, 332 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:38,720 Speaker 1: like they're like in there. So it's like it's got 333 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:41,840 Speaker 1: like a boam, it's exactly to look like a dinosaur, 334 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:43,920 Speaker 1: but it has real dinosaur bones. Now did he put 335 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,280 Speaker 1: the feathers on it like they're supposed to have had. 336 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,200 Speaker 1: I don't know if he was that accurate. I don't 337 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,840 Speaker 1: think he wants because I don't even know that if 338 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:52,480 Speaker 1: we knew, actually know, because the Jurassic Park would have 339 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:55,720 Speaker 1: been coming out, right, So the research probably cooked up 340 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:59,320 Speaker 1: making dinosaurs. Yeah, just too busy, Yeah, with arts and 341 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:03,400 Speaker 1: crafts and cocaine, a single like trickle of blood coming 342 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:13,480 Speaker 1: out of one nostril on the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs all 343 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:19,159 Speaker 1: have one long cokemail just one man, and like necklaces 344 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:22,080 Speaker 1: with tiny spoons. Yeah, little things. I'm showing how old 345 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,480 Speaker 1: I am with like the oh you're late seven cocaine 346 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:30,440 Speaker 1: totally as a child. That's what started talking about Frank 347 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:35,480 Speaker 1: Serpico and the dirty New York Police. So now amongst 348 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:39,320 Speaker 1: these exotic animals of Pablo Escarbar there were the aforementioned 349 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:44,919 Speaker 1: cocaine hippos. Now they started out, there were four of 350 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,560 Speaker 1: them at the start. That's when we got when he 351 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,040 Speaker 1: got those hippos from New Orleans, there were four of them, right, 352 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:51,600 Speaker 1: there are three females, one male. The adams to a 353 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:55,360 Speaker 1: zoo and then Boo comes around. Pablito gets gunned down 354 00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:59,640 Speaker 1: by the Colombian government and now we've got these stranded hippos. 355 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:05,040 Speaker 1: But the hippos have been humping and eating and producing 356 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,480 Speaker 1: poop at an extraordinary amount. And so now they have 357 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:09,960 Speaker 1: just basically started to take over their environment. They're little, 358 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,320 Speaker 1: you know, a micro environment, and they have started to 359 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,679 Speaker 1: change it. They have spread from the lake where they 360 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,520 Speaker 1: started into the local rivers and they are now four 361 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:23,200 Speaker 1: different lakes. And then they started to range the hippos 362 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:25,440 Speaker 1: like they get so bad that they actually spread out 363 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:27,800 Speaker 1: to Now you'll find them like a hundred and fifty 364 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:31,639 Speaker 1: miles away. What Yeah, and they're nocturnal, so the hippos 365 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:33,760 Speaker 1: are charging through Columbia at night, so I mean it's 366 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:43,159 Speaker 1: on their hind legs, under cover of darkness. So the 367 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,879 Speaker 1: reason why they were there is the Colombian government when 368 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,760 Speaker 1: they killed Pablo, they went and they seized up all 369 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,000 Speaker 1: the other animals. Right, they take the elephants. The drafts 370 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:55,600 Speaker 1: were like, hey, Bogata zoo. You want to bring them on, Yeah, 371 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,879 Speaker 1: but like they could get any takers for the hippos. 372 00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,440 Speaker 1: You were like, no, I'm I'm good on hippos, and 373 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:01,800 Speaker 1: we're good. Plus it's a pain to move them. They're 374 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,879 Speaker 1: heavy and you can't tranquilize em easy. So they're like 375 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:07,000 Speaker 1: you know, and they're also hungry, hungry exactly. So they're 376 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,600 Speaker 1: like Colombian governments like, you know what, let's just leave 377 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:14,200 Speaker 1: them here. They'll build, they'll die, you know, because Nage'll 378 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,520 Speaker 1: take care of it. We don't have to do anything. Well, 379 00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:20,120 Speaker 1: they were wrong. The hippos were like, man, y'all didn't 380 00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:22,840 Speaker 1: even know how much we love Colombia. Oh, son, y'all 381 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:28,800 Speaker 1: messed up. Now we are cocaine exactly. You can't stop us. 382 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:32,440 Speaker 1: Pablo picked us for really good reasons. So here's the 383 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:37,200 Speaker 1: actual scientific reasons why Pablo did them. A solid is one, 384 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:41,480 Speaker 1: Colombia's wetlands have no natural predators for a hippo, nothing's 385 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:43,840 Speaker 1: gonna kill them except for old age to the weather 386 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,080 Speaker 1: is ideal, and but it's not because like they like, 387 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:49,199 Speaker 1: you know, the the springtime weather that you responded to. 388 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,560 Speaker 1: It's that they don't have droughts. In Columbia that they 389 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,200 Speaker 1: do in sub Saharan Africa, so you don't have to 390 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,080 Speaker 1: deal with that wet season, dry season and stuff. They 391 00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:58,520 Speaker 1: just have constant water, which means constant food and constant humping. 392 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:02,480 Speaker 1: So they're just sitting there eaten, pumping, sleeping all the time. 393 00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:05,199 Speaker 1: And a female can like within like you know, I 394 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,800 Speaker 1: think it's forward four and a half years or seven years, 395 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,760 Speaker 1: they can start I think it seven years actually they 396 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:13,399 Speaker 1: can start making babies. So what that means is basically 397 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:17,800 Speaker 1: once these hippo streity going, once they reach puberty, yeah, 398 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:22,080 Speaker 1: hippo puberty, they start basically knocking. Even though they're all 399 00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:24,680 Speaker 1: one genetic population, you know, but because there were the 400 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,400 Speaker 1: three females in the one male that I guess there's 401 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:29,399 Speaker 1: enough variety that they've been very successful. So they've just 402 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:33,600 Speaker 1: been making incest uous hippos for decades now and they're 403 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,399 Speaker 1: up to about a dred and twenty. So they're just 404 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,280 Speaker 1: out there knocking boots. Yeah, well they love you know, 405 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,439 Speaker 1: they got water, they got food. So what's that you 406 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:44,200 Speaker 1: don't know offhand with the gestation period is the gestation 407 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:47,320 Speaker 1: period for hippo I do not long. I would imagine 408 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:49,320 Speaker 1: this long only because they are of the same family 409 00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:51,760 Speaker 1: of whales, and whales have a really long gestation period, 410 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:56,680 Speaker 1: so I'm just guessing, I don't know Genus Biggins. There 411 00:22:56,680 --> 00:23:00,960 Speaker 1: are pigs and and uh what called pigs and whales 412 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:03,600 Speaker 1: were have a common ancestor with the hippo, which is 413 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:07,760 Speaker 1: like this rum nata group, and then they go into 414 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,439 Speaker 1: the water and then they become fully aquatic as whales 415 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,520 Speaker 1: and becomes cetaceans, and then the hippo stays semi aquatic 416 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:19,800 Speaker 1: that keeps its toes a due exactly. So these these 417 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:24,160 Speaker 1: cocaine hippos, they're just rocking off in Columbia doing super well. 418 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:28,919 Speaker 1: But this is bad for Colombia's other wildlife because of 419 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:32,040 Speaker 1: how much the hippo's poop the hippos and I know 420 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,120 Speaker 1: it sounds like a joke, right, but it's like hippos 421 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:36,640 Speaker 1: their poop is turns out to be a really bad 422 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:40,720 Speaker 1: anaerobic problem. It basically pulls oxygen out of the water, 423 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,480 Speaker 1: so the available oxygen for the fish is not there. 424 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:44,760 Speaker 1: So that means if you were fish, and then if 425 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:46,360 Speaker 1: you're a fish, means if your otters, and then also 426 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:50,560 Speaker 1: if you're manatees, so these hippos are threatening to basically 427 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,879 Speaker 1: kill manatees. That's not cool, right, Everyone loves manatees, and 428 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,400 Speaker 1: like people are like, bro, come on now, like what's 429 00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:59,280 Speaker 1: up with these cocaine hippos and their hippo crap? And 430 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:02,480 Speaker 1: exactly the manatees are like, you know, these super gentle 431 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,119 Speaker 1: sea cows. And everyone's like, oh, y'all like the new one. Huh, 432 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,959 Speaker 1: y'all got that new model. We're just over here. But 433 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,840 Speaker 1: what would you by the way, just you know, off handedly, 434 00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:13,840 Speaker 1: cocaine hippos. I keep saying the term what would you 435 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,240 Speaker 1: have fixed cocaine to? What animal would you put cocaine 436 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:22,080 Speaker 1: in front of if you had a choice? Cocaine? Uh, 437 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,520 Speaker 1: what's something that's like I think it would be about 438 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:29,080 Speaker 1: for comedic effect or like in real life. I don't 439 00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:31,840 Speaker 1: think in real life use this is like you know, 440 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:35,800 Speaker 1: it's a nickname that's associative to Pablo Escobar. I just mean, like, 441 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:37,720 Speaker 1: what would be a funny animal to refer to as 442 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:41,400 Speaker 1: a cocaine This a cocaine that, like the cocaine art vark. 443 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:46,200 Speaker 1: I think amster cocaine. Amster cocaine will not get off 444 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,800 Speaker 1: the hamster wheel. I think that is just you just 445 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:54,760 Speaker 1: described cocaine had like anyone who dugs code cocaine amster. Yeah, 446 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,520 Speaker 1: that's the new name for people. You see some you 447 00:24:57,560 --> 00:24:59,600 Speaker 1: see someone, I'll toot it up. You're like, look at 448 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:03,000 Speaker 1: that coke cocaine hamster ever there? And then we shorten 449 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:06,080 Speaker 1: it and we just refer to them as hamsters. How 450 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:08,399 Speaker 1: will we know which ones are which? Though? Well, because 451 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,119 Speaker 1: if I if, if I'm at like a rock and 452 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,560 Speaker 1: roll show and I come out of the bathroom and 453 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,520 Speaker 1: I go, there's a bunch of hamsters in there, would 454 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:20,560 Speaker 1: immediately sharing a stall and I hear some snorts, You're 455 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,880 Speaker 1: not going to be like literal hamsters. You're like, oh 456 00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:25,080 Speaker 1: my god, what why is there a hobbit trail in there? 457 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:28,119 Speaker 1: Is it broken? This club has a habit trail that 458 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:32,679 Speaker 1: runs all through the bathroom system. It's amazing. So I 459 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:37,240 Speaker 1: think that Zaren context clues context was okay, fair enough, 460 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,679 Speaker 1: fair enough? So how about this a more serious question? 461 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,399 Speaker 1: What would you do with a fast growing population of 462 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:45,040 Speaker 1: cocaine hippos and you had to get rid of them, 463 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:49,879 Speaker 1: organize them in revolt, have them leave themselves out of 464 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:56,280 Speaker 1: their exploitation, completely, break the chance, take over the cities. Yeah, 465 00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:57,879 Speaker 1: if I had to get rid of them, I don't know. 466 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:02,960 Speaker 1: It's not my it's not my business. The government of 467 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,720 Speaker 1: Colombia has been taking that approach for a while. They've 468 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:10,280 Speaker 1: tried recently a more hands on approach. So basically, for 469 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:12,640 Speaker 1: the longest time they just blame Pablo Escobar. They're like, oh, 470 00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:16,200 Speaker 1: it's pablos hippos. Anything they do, it's pablos. But then 471 00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:19,240 Speaker 1: that didn't work after a while. Yes, he's dead, yeah exactly. 472 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:21,960 Speaker 1: After then they god, like ten fifteen years later, people like, bro, 473 00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,440 Speaker 1: those are not pablos hippos anymore. I mean they are, 474 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:27,320 Speaker 1: but y'all have been letting them wild out. So the 475 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:31,359 Speaker 1: descendants of public exactly probably never met any of these hippos. 476 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:37,399 Speaker 1: So the Colombians are like, okay, well we can go 477 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:40,639 Speaker 1: through some options, and so they basically have tried most 478 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,919 Speaker 1: of the options you would think of. So let's start 479 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:45,679 Speaker 1: with a couple of them, right, Like, you got this 480 00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:49,800 Speaker 1: invasive species and you're like, well, well, how do we 481 00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,240 Speaker 1: get rid of them? Well, we brought them here, we 482 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,760 Speaker 1: could just send them back. So the first idea of 483 00:26:54,760 --> 00:27:00,399 Speaker 1: the old idea send them back to Africa. Had that 484 00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:03,840 Speaker 1: one that one met with about the same responses the 485 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:06,360 Speaker 1: first time they tried it, because it was like, that'll 486 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:07,879 Speaker 1: be too expensive. How are we going to do that? 487 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:09,320 Speaker 1: We want to do it, but how are we going 488 00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:10,960 Speaker 1: to do it? It's like a whole nightmare on the 489 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:15,040 Speaker 1: Hippo star line, exactly, the Black Hippo Star. The thing is, 490 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:19,880 Speaker 1: it's like those those dudes, those hippos aren't yeah exactly, 491 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,480 Speaker 1: not anymore. Yeah, So it's like, y'all got some South 492 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:27,720 Speaker 1: American hippos. I don't know what to take speak Spanish. Well. 493 00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,760 Speaker 1: Then the other issue is that the Colembian government has 494 00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:32,879 Speaker 1: had to start to solve this problem because now the 495 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:35,600 Speaker 1: cartel is smuggling these baby hippos. They go and have 496 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:38,280 Speaker 1: ducked the baby hippos and smuggle them out of Colombia. 497 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,480 Speaker 1: So the cycle has come full circle and the cartel 498 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:44,359 Speaker 1: is now they're selling them overseas. Whoever wants a baby hippo. 499 00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:46,399 Speaker 1: They're like, we got some baby hippos. What y'all need? 500 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:49,080 Speaker 1: Billionaires who have too much money and they're like, what 501 00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:52,639 Speaker 1: can I put in my palatial estate about baby hippo hippos? 502 00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:54,640 Speaker 1: And so people like yo, I know somebody I can 503 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:55,920 Speaker 1: hook you up with that you want to go out 504 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:58,280 Speaker 1: on a kilo and two baby hippos like kid, their 505 00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,679 Speaker 1: kid gets a hippo for its fourth birthday and the 506 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,919 Speaker 1: kids riding the hippo on the grass until it loses 507 00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,879 Speaker 1: interest and they're like, he did you feed the hippo today? 508 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:10,320 Speaker 1: Where's your where's your hippo? Becky? Did you If you 509 00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:12,760 Speaker 1: get me a hippo, I promise I'll take care of it. 510 00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:16,640 Speaker 1: Hippos are violent. Oh yeah, that's the other thing. Yeah, 511 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:20,160 Speaker 1: they naps that kid in half. No more than any 512 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,600 Speaker 1: other wildlife in Africa. That includes the king cobra, the lion, 513 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:28,480 Speaker 1: the elephants, rhinos, all those hyena. None of them get 514 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,520 Speaker 1: close down. Many of the hippo hippos just will snap 515 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:35,000 Speaker 1: you all neck. So proud of them. So there have 516 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,040 Speaker 1: been some other approaches. The Colinbian government that came up 517 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:39,479 Speaker 1: has come up with. One of them was the always 518 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:44,880 Speaker 1: the old fashioned well we could eat them because well 519 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:47,320 Speaker 1: this this was a real thing. This came up and 520 00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:51,880 Speaker 1: basically this this hippo died of semi natural causes semi 521 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:59,000 Speaker 1: natural s to suicide. He ran into an electrified fence 522 00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:04,200 Speaker 1: and so it was like half cooked. It's not semi 523 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:08,640 Speaker 1: natural causes because no one actively killed the hippo. The 524 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:11,760 Speaker 1: kip hippo wandered into a kill environment. I don't know 525 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:13,720 Speaker 1: what to tell you, but it's not natural because it's 526 00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:18,680 Speaker 1: not like the natural electrified fences like eels get together 527 00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:22,760 Speaker 1: and like hanging from trees just to like experience. People like, 528 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:25,280 Speaker 1: let somebody come through, come through, come through, Come on. 529 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:30,760 Speaker 1: It's like a hazing thing in the jungle of these Okay, 530 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,760 Speaker 1: so we'll call it. We'll call it a negligent death. Okay, 531 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:38,480 Speaker 1: negligent homicide. Death of this hippo occurred and the locals 532 00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,640 Speaker 1: were like, well, it's it's already kind of cooks. What 533 00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:42,800 Speaker 1: what do you think it taste like? So they divided 534 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:44,640 Speaker 1: it up and then they like you know, partitioned it 535 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:46,800 Speaker 1: up amongst each other, and then we went to town. 536 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:48,840 Speaker 1: They were like, that's so good hippo meat. I mean, 537 00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:50,840 Speaker 1: if another one comes through here and it gets killed 538 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,120 Speaker 1: on Bob's fence, it's like when you're driving down the 539 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:55,680 Speaker 1: street and your windows are down and you smell someone barbecuing. 540 00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:58,720 Speaker 1: You're like, oh, that's good, that's really good. Should I 541 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:00,920 Speaker 1: go and pretend I'm a relative. That was the neighbors 542 00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:04,440 Speaker 1: with hippo. They were like, oh, that kind of it's 543 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:07,440 Speaker 1: got some real hits, a little different kind of comes 544 00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:13,440 Speaker 1: out to the nose and says hello. So this they 545 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,520 Speaker 1: have called me. Government's like, hey, is this is something 546 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,160 Speaker 1: we can do? We heard some locals that we're eating 547 00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,800 Speaker 1: some electrified hippo meat. Is that something we could push 548 00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:22,520 Speaker 1: off on the people? And biologists is like, well yeah, 549 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,840 Speaker 1: I mean there's a high fat content, it could probably 550 00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:26,800 Speaker 1: marble well, and maybe if you paired it with local 551 00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:30,040 Speaker 1: spices it could be a really good meal. Which did 552 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:31,960 Speaker 1: How about you? Do you remember when Louisiana tried to 553 00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:35,960 Speaker 1: do this with Nutria with that giant beaver and they're like, okay, people, 554 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:37,440 Speaker 1: we tried to get you to shoot them, and you 555 00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:39,360 Speaker 1: wouldn't do that. What if would you just eat them? 556 00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:41,600 Speaker 1: Let's come up with some recipes, people, and they put 557 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,640 Speaker 1: out a state like a cookbook for Nutria and nibble 558 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:47,960 Speaker 1: on them, tiny little real exactly get some of that 559 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:50,440 Speaker 1: rib meat. Work real hard for it. It's sort of 560 00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:56,880 Speaker 1: like a cornish game hyn a Louisiana game. Hyna. Well, 561 00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,840 Speaker 1: you're good at cooking, how would you prepare a hippo. 562 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:03,200 Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like it's in my mind 563 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:05,560 Speaker 1: because you said this is like a high fat cun 564 00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:08,760 Speaker 1: But I don't believe it's like marble. Do you probably 565 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,360 Speaker 1: have to get through a fat layer. Yeah, I imagine 566 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,760 Speaker 1: it's it's more like whales where you have like blubber 567 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:15,880 Speaker 1: or it's a condensed I mean, then I'll use the 568 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,640 Speaker 1: techniques I use when cooking whales. Yeah, okay, than never mind. 569 00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:21,280 Speaker 1: I mean I bet you could get like a hippo 570 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,960 Speaker 1: steak somehow, like get some sort of because they're strong, 571 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:31,280 Speaker 1: very very so you get you tapped into that muscle though. 572 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:34,200 Speaker 1: Oh probably. And I don't know if if it's something 573 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,880 Speaker 1: you kind of got to like stew to soften, got 574 00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,440 Speaker 1: to tender eye, it probably. Yeah. I don't know any 575 00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:42,760 Speaker 1: of these things. I'm just making this stuff up. Hippo tacos, 576 00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:46,160 Speaker 1: hippo tacos. You know, I can make anything into a taco. 577 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:49,440 Speaker 1: About talent, people like what is Elizabeth like? Well, if 578 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:53,440 Speaker 1: you can make anything into a taco and she loves 579 00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:55,360 Speaker 1: the television show nine one one, Yeah, those are thats 580 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:59,240 Speaker 1: pretty much all I think. That's full stop. That's my autobiography. 581 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:04,400 Speaker 1: So Colombia is like, um, well we've tried all these 582 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:07,280 Speaker 1: different approaches. Well we could always do the old well, 583 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,880 Speaker 1: you know, stand by just shoot them. We could just 584 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:11,360 Speaker 1: go out and hunt them and shoot them. And the 585 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,440 Speaker 1: people are like, bro, bro, you canna let God sort 586 00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,560 Speaker 1: them out. That is not the approach. They're like, well, 587 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,960 Speaker 1: hear us out. So when they had a like this 588 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:22,920 Speaker 1: rampaging hippo going around in the rural back country, the 589 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,720 Speaker 1: locals were like, help us up as we got this 590 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:27,120 Speaker 1: hippo is just rampaging in the back country. And the 591 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:29,480 Speaker 1: Columbian government's like, okay, we got you son, We'll send 592 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,000 Speaker 1: out like the killed team. So he send out to 593 00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,320 Speaker 1: you like the army, and the army goes out there. 594 00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,320 Speaker 1: You know, A K forty seven is the whole bit. 595 00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:38,479 Speaker 1: And uh, they hunt down this hippo, they kill it, 596 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,840 Speaker 1: and then they make the mistake of taking a picture 597 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,720 Speaker 1: with it. Yep, they know the whole group. There's like, 598 00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:46,200 Speaker 1: you can find this picture of Peppe the hippo dead, 599 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:49,680 Speaker 1: surrounded by Colombian army folks all smiling. And when that 600 00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:54,360 Speaker 1: photo hit the internet, what do you think happened? Angry? Yeah, 601 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,680 Speaker 1: so a bunch of people got pissed and it was 602 00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:00,880 Speaker 1: so bad that the Colombians protest. It was an international 603 00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,800 Speaker 1: incident online. The Columbian people. They went down and protested 604 00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:06,760 Speaker 1: in front of the environmental ministry and Bogata. They're like, 605 00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:09,080 Speaker 1: y'all can't do this to Pepe ended any of the 606 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:13,880 Speaker 1: other hippos. This is not gonna be cool. People are like, oh, well, okay, well, 607 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:15,760 Speaker 1: I guess we can't come back to Africa. We can't 608 00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:19,120 Speaker 1: eat them, we can't shoot him. What are we gonna do? Miriam? 609 00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:22,320 Speaker 1: No good guests though that came up with the last one. 610 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:28,640 Speaker 1: Castrat um ouch exactly. You don't even have tests. So 611 00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:32,120 Speaker 1: I will explain to you after the short break how 612 00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:55,840 Speaker 1: the answer of castration also is failing. Okay, So if 613 00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:58,719 Speaker 1: I had to ask you, Elizabeth, why do you think 614 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:04,280 Speaker 1: it would be difficult to castrate to hippo? Well, it's 615 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:10,919 Speaker 1: like there do they have four h like the agricultural 616 00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:18,080 Speaker 1: It's like it's like homest harvest hippo. Yeah. I think 617 00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:22,280 Speaker 1: that's like they teach the kids to wrastle down the hippos. 618 00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:25,239 Speaker 1: And I don't think their nuts. No, I don't know. 619 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,239 Speaker 1: I don't think they have that I don't. I would 620 00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,600 Speaker 1: imagine that it's well again, I'm going to go back 621 00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:33,040 Speaker 1: to the angry, angry hippo that they're a very big 622 00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,439 Speaker 1: animal and they're very angry. So that is a good read. 623 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,200 Speaker 1: And they don't have like rodeo pens in the rivers 624 00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:41,600 Speaker 1: where they live in lakes. You got to get them 625 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,359 Speaker 1: out of the lake. I don't know. You know what, 626 00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:45,920 Speaker 1: why don't you tell me? Well? These are all you 627 00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:49,440 Speaker 1: pretty much nailed the basics. Ones, big animal, mean animal 628 00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:52,479 Speaker 1: can be mean when confronted, or it's a territorial animal. 629 00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:54,360 Speaker 1: You get into their territory, the act that way, and 630 00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:57,439 Speaker 1: then lives in muddy water. So how are you gonna 631 00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,200 Speaker 1: get You gonna get in there the water and put 632 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,319 Speaker 1: it like a strap on Nathan and helicopter amount. You're 633 00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:03,160 Speaker 1: gonna get in there with a tractor and drag them out. 634 00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:05,400 Speaker 1: You have to give to the animal, right, So they're like, 635 00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:09,040 Speaker 1: well that's difficult. But then there's something even more difficult. 636 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:14,759 Speaker 1: Hippos are sexually dimorphic. Yeah, it's actually dimorphic means you 637 00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:17,400 Speaker 1: can't tell a male hippo from a female hippo. Hippo 638 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:21,879 Speaker 1: is essentially a genderless animal like a Kendall. No, no, 639 00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:25,200 Speaker 1: not like that. It's not smooth front, but it turns 640 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,200 Speaker 1: out it is. It's like they have, you know, the 641 00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:30,759 Speaker 1: actual sexes. There are a male and female hippop, but 642 00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:32,600 Speaker 1: you but looking at him, there are no there's no 643 00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:36,760 Speaker 1: descended genitalia, there is no coloration difference, there's no size difference. 644 00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:42,040 Speaker 1: They look identical, and their genitals you cannot parse from 645 00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,320 Speaker 1: looking at them as if it's male or female because 646 00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:48,920 Speaker 1: it looks like smooth Kendall. When you like everybody, Okay, 647 00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,239 Speaker 1: I got I'll give that to you. Though, hippo looks 648 00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:53,440 Speaker 1: like a smooth Kendall. I'll give you out points. That's 649 00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:56,000 Speaker 1: kind of cute that there's no difference. Yeah, no, right, 650 00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:01,200 Speaker 1: it's not the only Okay, not to be delicate, but like, 651 00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:06,640 Speaker 1: how do they how do they do their uh reproductive business, 652 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:15,240 Speaker 1: their muddy business. You know what happens is apparently the 653 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:19,000 Speaker 1: going as the testies of a male hippo are up 654 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:21,239 Speaker 1: in the body, like up like ovaries. They are like 655 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:22,959 Speaker 1: way up high in the body. So if you're gonna 656 00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:25,319 Speaker 1: try to find those, you can't reach them, but the 657 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:28,000 Speaker 1: penis is going to be able to get out and 658 00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:30,200 Speaker 1: you know, do all the business you want for like 659 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,000 Speaker 1: a sexual interaction between you and miss hippo. So they're 660 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,440 Speaker 1: like anies. Everybody's in it. It's kind of like a 661 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:37,440 Speaker 1: dog whether the penis comes out, but like a lot 662 00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:39,080 Speaker 1: of animals have a penis bone, so that kind of 663 00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:40,920 Speaker 1: like helps it pop out. Like the human beings, we 664 00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:42,680 Speaker 1: don't have a penis bone. We have like a ligament 665 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:44,719 Speaker 1: and some blood pressure to make our penis works. But 666 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:47,560 Speaker 1: there's when they get excited, you know, pops out. It's 667 00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:52,920 Speaker 1: like one of those birthday party horns or you it's 668 00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:57,080 Speaker 1: hippo penis so and I don't know if they're like 669 00:36:57,160 --> 00:36:59,919 Speaker 1: horses where they're like huge and hung or if they're 670 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:04,520 Speaker 1: like you know, smaller animals, but they have like if 671 00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:06,600 Speaker 1: you look at like a boor a pig, they're close 672 00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,880 Speaker 1: relative you'll see the balls from behind, right, not the 673 00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:11,960 Speaker 1: case for the hippop. So if you're trying to castrate 674 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,680 Speaker 1: them and you can't find the gont, you have to 675 00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:19,360 Speaker 1: make difficult so you have to tranquilize them surgery. And 676 00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:22,320 Speaker 1: then if you now, let's say you have this tranquilized hippo, 677 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:23,960 Speaker 1: which is by the way, a very difficult animal to 678 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,560 Speaker 1: tranquilse because it's so thick and so heavy, and they 679 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:28,759 Speaker 1: don't know how much to give it. Thick th i 680 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:33,920 Speaker 1: c c oh double c thick that hippop thick. But 681 00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:38,160 Speaker 1: some of these thick hippos that you can't tranquilize, they 682 00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:40,320 Speaker 1: will get angry if they wake up in the middle 683 00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:42,799 Speaker 1: of the surgery, like your hand all up on their 684 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:46,320 Speaker 1: go and adds that are up in their body cavity problems. 685 00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:51,640 Speaker 1: Sterilize them, good question. There actually are chemical castration. So 686 00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:55,319 Speaker 1: chemical castration means you put the sterilizing agent into their 687 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,719 Speaker 1: food and if you do that, then you just have 688 00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,560 Speaker 1: to put the food out. They eat the food. Food 689 00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:02,440 Speaker 1: gets them sterilized. Or you can do the other way, 690 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,480 Speaker 1: which is basically you put the food in a pen. 691 00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,000 Speaker 1: They come up to the pen, you don't close the door, 692 00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:08,399 Speaker 1: they eat the food, they leave. You put the food 693 00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:09,719 Speaker 1: in the pen, they come up to the pen, they 694 00:38:09,719 --> 00:38:12,319 Speaker 1: don't close the door, and eventually you close the door 695 00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:14,040 Speaker 1: and then you tranquilize them in the pen. That's the 696 00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:16,359 Speaker 1: other approach. So you've got two approaches. You can either 697 00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:18,480 Speaker 1: you know, feed them something, or you can go up 698 00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:21,799 Speaker 1: and tranquilize them after tricking them. Now, the big deal 699 00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:25,080 Speaker 1: with that is is it costs about fifty dollars to 700 00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:28,640 Speaker 1: try to do most of these efforts I've described, So 701 00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:32,120 Speaker 1: the cheapest approach is to turn to the Americans who 702 00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:36,319 Speaker 1: have offered up free sterilizing agents at the Department of 703 00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:39,080 Speaker 1: Agriculture invented. They're like, hey, bro, we got this for you. 704 00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:41,319 Speaker 1: So we're like, this will be cheap and easy. You 705 00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:44,880 Speaker 1: just give the hippos this. But people you know around 706 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:48,239 Speaker 1: the world, animal rights activists, Hippo Lovers United, They're like, 707 00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:50,759 Speaker 1: you can't do that to the hippos. And remember the 708 00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,280 Speaker 1: people of Columbia they see it as like a national emblem, 709 00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:56,160 Speaker 1: so they don't want these hippos mistreated. So and also 710 00:38:56,600 --> 00:39:00,000 Speaker 1: the hippos themselves, you know, they are a charming animal there. 711 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,040 Speaker 1: Even though they are really aggressive. People don't think of 712 00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:03,680 Speaker 1: them that way. They think of them in the Disney 713 00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:06,040 Speaker 1: terms of being like in the two twos and dancing 714 00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:08,719 Speaker 1: a hippo is this it's not seen as an aggressor. 715 00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:11,280 Speaker 1: So people aren't siding with the manatees in this issue. 716 00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:13,040 Speaker 1: You would think that the animal rights activists will be 717 00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:15,880 Speaker 1: able to make the case. But they're like, say, the hippos. 718 00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,120 Speaker 1: So people are like, well, why well, how are we 719 00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:21,320 Speaker 1: going to save these hippos and people? Animal rights activists 720 00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:24,000 Speaker 1: are like, I've got it. Will turn hippos into people. 721 00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:29,720 Speaker 1: Well not exactly, not like scientifically into people, just legally 722 00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:33,360 Speaker 1: into people because if you want to castrate them chemically, 723 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:40,200 Speaker 1: and you're gonna use this weird US government sterilyzing agent, 724 00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:44,759 Speaker 1: now he don't just put them on like the Megan's List. 725 00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:49,719 Speaker 1: So I understand. What happens is they take these hippos 726 00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:52,000 Speaker 1: and they give them personhood right and the reason why 727 00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:55,000 Speaker 1: to do that. It's just like corporations, it's exactly. So 728 00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:57,960 Speaker 1: no hippos and corporations all have more legal rights than 729 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:02,920 Speaker 1: I do. I love this. So the hippos they this 730 00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:05,399 Speaker 1: this drug that they're trying to give them right, it's 731 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:09,080 Speaker 1: called going to colne like like gone going ads, but 732 00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:11,719 Speaker 1: like not going ads, like going to Colm right, So 733 00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:15,440 Speaker 1: like g O N A c O N. Yes, going 734 00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:21,719 Speaker 1: like comic con comicon for gonads. So this stuff I 735 00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:25,279 Speaker 1: will not attend that it's been it's been designated to 736 00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:28,279 Speaker 1: be not good for hippos because it's for like you know, 737 00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:31,919 Speaker 1: I don't know, like elk and horses and native North 738 00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:34,640 Speaker 1: American wildlife to people like this is not designed for hippos, 739 00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:36,279 Speaker 1: so the animal rights actors or you can't do that. 740 00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:39,160 Speaker 1: Columbia is like, well, we got these free drugs, so 741 00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,600 Speaker 1: we're thinking about doing it. So they give the hippos, 742 00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:44,000 Speaker 1: they go to court, they file a lawsuit. So there's 743 00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:46,799 Speaker 1: like animal rights activists, they file lawsuits and they've been 744 00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:49,120 Speaker 1: doing this for a while, Like there's one guy, Luis 745 00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:52,919 Speaker 1: Domingo Gomez Maldonado. He's been like really key and leading 746 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:56,239 Speaker 1: the fight. So by giving these animals personhood, then they 747 00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:58,799 Speaker 1: have to be respected and they have to be treated humanely. 748 00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,959 Speaker 1: That's the whole point, right, So that's kind of neat, 749 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:05,279 Speaker 1: But this idea is based on the This idea of 750 00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:09,200 Speaker 1: giving them personhood is based on a larger environmental approach 751 00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:13,400 Speaker 1: that has been very successful. Australia has given personhood to rivers, 752 00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:17,000 Speaker 1: the Colombians have given personhood to parts of the Amazon 753 00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:20,239 Speaker 1: based on the Amazon rainforest. So this is actually an 754 00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:24,719 Speaker 1: expanding model. So these these cocaine hippos may signal the 755 00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,800 Speaker 1: forefront of a new legal fight that we can possibly 756 00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:29,799 Speaker 1: say things we love on this planet and maybe even 757 00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:33,080 Speaker 1: save things like rivers and trees by treating them humanely 758 00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:36,640 Speaker 1: like people. So ultimately this could be a very helpful 759 00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:39,000 Speaker 1: step along the way for us all living better. So 760 00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:41,680 Speaker 1: we maybe owe a debt of gratitude of these cocaine 761 00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,840 Speaker 1: hippos for making us treat each other and animals more humane. 762 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,759 Speaker 1: And they too can go into bankruptcy over an ambulance 763 00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:53,640 Speaker 1: ride exactly. So, now that uh Pablo Escobar's cocaine hippos 764 00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:57,319 Speaker 1: are legally considered people under American law, and which was 765 00:41:57,400 --> 00:41:59,800 Speaker 1: the court case that was like in the news re 766 00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:04,600 Speaker 1: cently we have the standpoint to work with. But what 767 00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:07,560 Speaker 1: I want to know is if you could give and 768 00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:10,399 Speaker 1: grant personhood to any animal, which way animal would you pick? 769 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:15,600 Speaker 1: Bears and wolves? Bears and wolves to save them or 770 00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:16,759 Speaker 1: just because you want them to be able to like 771 00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:18,480 Speaker 1: chill in places with you. I want them to be 772 00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:21,319 Speaker 1: able to like go to school embedded themselves. Now I 773 00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:24,799 Speaker 1: want to hang out with them, no, protect them. Yeah, 774 00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:26,719 Speaker 1: I like that. I think I think the idea of 775 00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:28,600 Speaker 1: person is actually a really cool idea. I was talking 776 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:30,799 Speaker 1: to an indigenous activist from Australia about this and that's 777 00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:32,759 Speaker 1: what I first learned, that they turned a river into 778 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,239 Speaker 1: a person. That's like, what that sounded silly at first, 779 00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:39,040 Speaker 1: but really it's kind of genius under our construction of law. Yeah, 780 00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:42,759 Speaker 1: I mean it is, but it's also it's difficult to 781 00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:45,040 Speaker 1: get your head around in terms of like the definition 782 00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:49,040 Speaker 1: of personhood and the idea of will and its ridic 783 00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:56,480 Speaker 1: action that around. But there was also one other thing 784 00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:58,000 Speaker 1: I gotta tell you that I learned while I was 785 00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:00,719 Speaker 1: researching about these hippos. There was something all the American 786 00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:03,839 Speaker 1: Hippo Bill, right, and it's just as fun as it sounds. 787 00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,600 Speaker 1: There's his representative down from Louisiana. He's like, you know 788 00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:09,719 Speaker 1: what we need to do to save America's bring us 789 00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:12,200 Speaker 1: over some hippos. Because everyone's like, what what is this 790 00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:14,480 Speaker 1: dude talking about? Why is he even in Congress? And 791 00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:18,960 Speaker 1: how prescient that the Louisiana is going to be supprising 792 00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:22,160 Speaker 1: later on? Way to bring it around? Yeah, you're welcome 793 00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:26,160 Speaker 1: these Uh this bill that just put forward, the American 794 00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:28,680 Speaker 1: Hippo Bill, it hits the floor of Congress, and the 795 00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:31,680 Speaker 1: bill is quote, will authorize the importation and release of 796 00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:35,960 Speaker 1: hippopotamuses into the values of Louisiana. Now, why would they 797 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:38,880 Speaker 1: want to release hippos unto the bias Louisiana. It wasn't 798 00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:41,160 Speaker 1: to fight gators, if that's what you were thinking. It 799 00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:44,400 Speaker 1: was to eat this like unwanted plant that was clogging 800 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:45,799 Speaker 1: up the waterway. So they're like, if we can get 801 00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:47,839 Speaker 1: to eat that plant, and then you know we can 802 00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:50,400 Speaker 1: do next. We can eat the hippos. So they're like, 803 00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:53,640 Speaker 1: fight invasive species with invasive species, and then we'll eat 804 00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:56,839 Speaker 1: the invasive species. Solved. And the reason why they came 805 00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:59,040 Speaker 1: up with this idea is because they needed meat. So 806 00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:01,080 Speaker 1: that's how they tried to get it right. So they 807 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,480 Speaker 1: put this. There's a huge push and I'm talking Washington 808 00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:05,279 Speaker 1: Post is writing about this. New York Times is writing 809 00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:08,440 Speaker 1: about this. Teddy Roosevelt is a huge fan. He's out there. 810 00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:10,680 Speaker 1: He's just left the presidency, so he's like still a 811 00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:13,200 Speaker 1: major figure in nineteen ten and he's sitting there going around. 812 00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:15,960 Speaker 1: You know, America needs what he calls, by the way, 813 00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:20,080 Speaker 1: lake cow bacon. That was lake cow bacon. Yeah, that 814 00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:21,880 Speaker 1: was part of the like sales campaign to make it 815 00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:26,200 Speaker 1: like a hip thing. We need eat fat content. Yeah, exactly, 816 00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:29,960 Speaker 1: delicious friends, that stuff on electric fence. I'm telling you, boy, 817 00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:33,320 Speaker 1: get you some eels and keep in mind this American 818 00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:35,839 Speaker 1: hippo bill. It almost passed in the end. We were 819 00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:38,839 Speaker 1: just a few votes shy of America's adding lake cow 820 00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:40,920 Speaker 1: bacon to all of our diets. Oh my god, it 821 00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:44,719 Speaker 1: would have been like in school lunches. Yeah, instead of 822 00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:47,360 Speaker 1: like like pepperoni pizza on Friday, it's hippo pizza. And 823 00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:51,360 Speaker 1: then you'd have Peta dressing up like hippo's and oh yeah, 824 00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:54,480 Speaker 1: laying around in front of a whole food screaming at people. 825 00:44:56,840 --> 00:45:00,360 Speaker 1: So what do you think is ridiculous takeaway for the 826 00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:05,600 Speaker 1: cocaine hippo story. Um, I think our ridiculous takeaway is 827 00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:10,960 Speaker 1: that if you feel the impulse to show out and 828 00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:16,560 Speaker 1: show off, think about what the ramifications of those actions 829 00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:21,360 Speaker 1: may be. So if it involves another living thing that 830 00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:24,960 Speaker 1: you're treating is just an object, it's probably not a 831 00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:26,759 Speaker 1: good idea. So if you want to like flex on 832 00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:31,040 Speaker 1: everyone and be like I got hippos, I got dinosaur bones, 833 00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:33,879 Speaker 1: come on now, like, you know, think about the long 834 00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:37,560 Speaker 1: term effectually, got a plan. I gotta think forward otherwise 835 00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:41,759 Speaker 1: you know what you are ridiculous? Wait, to go. I 836 00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:45,120 Speaker 1: think my ridiculous takeaway is, look, if you take something 837 00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:47,000 Speaker 1: out of Africa and then it does somewhere else, does 838 00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:53,400 Speaker 1: really well somewhere else, don't get mad at us. Thank you, 839 00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:56,359 Speaker 1: all right, I'm just I'm just staying a plane. Thank 840 00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:59,640 Speaker 1: you for joining us. I'm Elizabeth Dutton, I'm Sara and 841 00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:01,840 Speaker 1: bent it. I just love that. I don't know, right. So, 842 00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:05,080 Speaker 1: you can find us online at Ridiculous Crime on both 843 00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:07,319 Speaker 1: Twitter and Instagram. You've got a tip for us about 844 00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:10,000 Speaker 1: a ridiculous crime you'd like to hear about. Hit us up. 845 00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:12,719 Speaker 1: You want to confess to one. Definitely hit us up. 846 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:17,279 Speaker 1: Email us at ridiculous Crime at gmail dot com. Sounds good, 847 00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:21,080 Speaker 1: See around, and we're back next time with more particularly 848 00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:30,920 Speaker 1: list crimes. But Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton 849 00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:33,680 Speaker 1: and Zaron Burnett, produced and edited by the Chief Game 850 00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:37,600 Speaker 1: Warden Dave Kuston, researched by our resident big game fact hunter, 851 00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:41,160 Speaker 1: Merissa Brown. The theme song is by Don Carlos, Thomas 852 00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:44,960 Speaker 1: Lee and Travis el Papo Dutton. Executive producers are Ben 853 00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:48,160 Speaker 1: who Wants Some Lake Cow Bacon Bowling and Old Sammy 854 00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:56,080 Speaker 1: Is Some Hippo Stakes. Brown. Ridiculous Crime is a production 855 00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:58,719 Speaker 1: of I heart Radio. Four more podcasts My heart Radio, 856 00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:01,719 Speaker 1: visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you 857 00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:03,040 Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.