Speaker 1: Hi.
Speaker 2: This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist,
Speaker 2: and speaker.
Speaker 3: And this is Sarah Hartunger. I'm a mother of three,
Speaker 3: a practicing physician and blogger. On the side, we are
Speaker 3: two working parents who love our careers and our families.
Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds.
Speaker 2: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family,
Speaker 2: and time for fun. From figuring out childcare to mapping
Speaker 2: out long term career goals. We want you to get
Speaker 2: the most out of life.
Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura. This
Speaker 1: episode is airing in late January of twenty twenty four,
Speaker 1: and we are going to be talking about mornings, morning routines,
Speaker 1: how mornings look, things we've thought about over the years
Speaker 1: for making mornings better. This is a perennial favorite topic.
Speaker 1: If you came to me randomly, like any of my books,
Speaker 1: probably the most likely one you read is called What
Speaker 1: the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast, which turns out
Speaker 1: to be my most clickable time I Ever, there's something
Speaker 1: about mornings, basically because they are useful to many people.
Speaker 1: If you work a full time job, particularly if you
Speaker 1: need to commute somewhere if you have a family, mornings
Speaker 1: are generally going to be your best bet for any
Speaker 1: serious personal pursuits because you're most likely going to be
Speaker 1: tired after work. You have your family responsibilities after work,
Speaker 1: Whereas if you know you get up in the morning,
Speaker 1: you can do those things before the day starts, and
Speaker 1: then they are done. You don't have to find a
Speaker 1: time for them later. So this is how people really
Speaker 1: put me time into their days, right, Sarah, I mean
Speaker 1: how the some of the morning routine literature out there
Speaker 1: is a little bit nutty, Yes, yes it is. I
Speaker 1: mean I love mornings. I love this topic.
Speaker 3: I love morning routine, so I'm super excited to talk
Speaker 3: about them. But when I hear morning routines, I actually
Speaker 3: tend to have like two images come to mind. One
Speaker 3: is like some like dude bro that wakes up at
Speaker 3: four am to do three hours of like he wouldn't
Speaker 3: brand it a self care because that doesn't sound manly.
Speaker 1: Enough self care.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but like work, hardcore exercise, special smoothies, cold plunge
Speaker 3: like whatever to make yourself hardcore with no mention of
Speaker 3: any kind of like family members or other responsibilities, or
Speaker 3: like a woman at home presumably childless because again, no
Speaker 3: one's interrupting her doing a fifteen step hair and makeup
Speaker 3: routine before she starts her day. We're not going to
Speaker 3: talk about it.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of steps. Seems like your morning could
Speaker 1: last a while if you're doing that. So, yeah, our
Speaker 1: mornings don't look like either of those. Uh, don't worry.
Speaker 1: We're not no cold plunges over here, Sarah. You're not
Speaker 1: cut into cold plunges, are you.
Speaker 3: No. I think I'm closer to that dude bro than
Speaker 3: I am to the woman, but unlike him, no cold plunges.
Speaker 1: And I really enjoy.
Speaker 3: Most of the aspects of my morning routine, and I
Speaker 3: definitely have aspects that involve helping others as well, not
Speaker 3: just me.
Speaker 1: So we're going to share a little bit about what
Speaker 1: our mornings look like, and then we're going to talk
Speaker 1: about some common pitfalls that can happen if you're trying
Speaker 1: to build a morning routine, and maybe troubleshoot a few
Speaker 1: of those. So if you've been pondering altering morning routine
Speaker 1: or creating a morning routine, maybe there will be something
Speaker 1: helpful in this episode for you. So we're gonna start
Speaker 1: with Sarah because she is like the Queen of the
Speaker 1: morning routine. So it's varied a little bit over the years.
Speaker 1: But what is it looking like these days? Sarah.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna give you a play by play because I
Speaker 3: enjoy episodes where people don't just talk in generalities, but
Speaker 3: specific So we're going to give that to you today,
Speaker 3: both Laura and IY. So on weekdays, I get up
Speaker 3: at around four forty five. Sometimes it's a little earlier,
Speaker 3: sometimes it's a little later, depending on what my kind
Speaker 3: of workout plan is that day, but four forty five
Speaker 3: on average. I always set my coffee up the night before,
Speaker 3: so when my alarm goes off, I know I can
Speaker 3: walk to the kitchen and I have my freshly brewed
Speaker 3: pot ready for me. Then I drink coffee and eat
Speaker 3: something with carbs. Learn this from Megan Featherston, a sports
Speaker 3: dietitian and who was on this podcast and who I
Speaker 3: took her marathon nutrition training course. So usually two sheets
Speaker 3: of gram crackers while reading nonfiction with my coffee, and
Speaker 3: I all so spend Usually I kind of read until
Speaker 3: around five fifteen ish and then I start setting up
Speaker 3: my planner page for the day, which is when I
Speaker 3: really plan out my day. I think about like what
Speaker 3: tasks I want to do, you know, what my priorities are,
Speaker 3: how tightly scheduled I am. I just kind of like
Speaker 3: do a whole run through and I write things out
Speaker 3: as I do that. Then I do five or ten
Speaker 3: minutes of headspace, which is my preferred meditation app Usually
Speaker 3: I do a very quick email check, like I just
Speaker 3: want to see if anything blew up, and if it didn't,
Speaker 3: then I'm done. And then by five fifty I head
Speaker 3: out the door to do whatever workout, which I do
Speaker 3: plan in advance, so like in my planner it'll say
Speaker 3: you're running this much, or you're doing arms or whatever.
Speaker 3: So usually I just run because my runs tend to
Speaker 3: be on the longer side and I have to be
Speaker 3: done by around seven. But sometimes I'll do like a
Speaker 3: shorter run and like twenty minute strength or something like that.
Speaker 3: So five point fifty and I did this today, out
Speaker 3: the door home by seven, so I can fit in
Speaker 3: like eight miles six six to eight miles in that timeframe.
Speaker 3: I get home, some water, make sure everyone has woken up.
Speaker 3: I used to kind of ask my husband to do this,
Speaker 3: but I have to some extent just give it up
Speaker 3: and I will make sure everyone's a week so ideally
Speaker 3: they are starting breakfast, but sometimes I'm just getting them
Speaker 3: up and I will then jump in the shower and
Speaker 3: then have my husband kind of take over while I shower.
Speaker 3: I love to listen to Up first while I'm in
Speaker 3: the shower.
Speaker 1: That's my main news source of the day.
Speaker 3: And then I do a very abbreviated hair and makeup.
Speaker 3: I mean, I've timed myself it's like seven minutes total,
Speaker 3: so I'm not aiming for looking amazing. I'm just aiming
Speaker 3: for looking presentable, and that's what I get in that
Speaker 3: five to seven minute period. So by seven twenty I'm
Speaker 3: out and I tell everybody we need to be done
Speaker 3: with breakfast. I wish I could say I did it
Speaker 3: in like a.
Speaker 1: Zen calm way.
Speaker 3: That's often not how it is, but working on it.
Speaker 3: Actually the last this is a new year, in the
Speaker 3: last few days have been better, and I start putting
Speaker 3: stuff by the door, so I know that in order
Speaker 3: to get out the door, we need like all the
Speaker 3: stuff at the door, and that means like the lunches.
Speaker 3: So like I start getting the lunches with the ice packs.
Speaker 3: I just start putting paraphernalia by the door that relates
Speaker 3: to leaving. And then I help Genevieve get dressed, and I
Speaker 3: make sure the other two are doing what they need
Speaker 3: to do, and then I kind of pack my work bag,
Speaker 3: and by seven thirty five we are getting in the car.
Speaker 3: I drive Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Josh drives Thursdays.
Speaker 3: So this is, you know, our kind of our default
Speaker 3: is that I'm doing it. I get everybody in the car,
Speaker 3: and then by seven forty we start driving. Notice that
Speaker 3: getting in the car and start driving are not the same.
Speaker 1: Minute.
Speaker 3: There are three kids, they have all their stuff, they
Speaker 3: have to decide where they're sitting. The kids have to
Speaker 3: choose their music for the morning. Yeah, there's a key
Speaker 3: stuff that happens. So you got to know that that
Speaker 3: transition times happen. And then I eat breakfast while I'm driving.
Speaker 3: So I used to try to fit in breakfast at home,
Speaker 3: but it really doesn't fit in with all that other
Speaker 3: stuff I mentioned. So I'll eat like a protein bar
Speaker 3: like a rise bar or a cliff Builder bar in
Speaker 3: the car, and then follow that by some other supplemental
Speaker 3: thing like a yogurt. Once I get to work, so
Speaker 3: kind of have that figured out to not take the
Speaker 3: time at home. Then comes my drop off, so drive
Speaker 3: the kids to school by seven fifty five to eight.
Speaker 1: I get there.
Speaker 3: Our school is really small and the classrooms are like
Speaker 3: separate buildings, so I actually we walk all three together.
Speaker 3: We dropped Genevieve off, then we drop Cameron off, then
Speaker 3: I drop well, I don't really drop in a ball off.
Speaker 3: She kind of like walks to her area where the
Speaker 3: middle schoolers are, and then I go to my car.
Speaker 3: I drive to work about eight fifteen and then about
Speaker 3: eight thirty five Monday, Wednesday, Friday, I get there and
Speaker 3: then usually there's like five minutes to spare before my
Speaker 3: first patient is roomed. So it usually works out. And
Speaker 3: I am lucky in that my commute is not super short.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm leaving at seven thirty five, and I
Speaker 3: do a drop off, and I don't get there till
Speaker 3: eight thirty five.
Speaker 1: But it's pretty predictable.
Speaker 3: Back when I was driving, like on I ninety five,
Speaker 3: it was like you never knew if it was going
Speaker 3: to be thirty five minutes or an hour and a half.
Speaker 3: But now it's pretty easy, so I don't need a
Speaker 3: ton of buffer or anything like that. There are variations
Speaker 3: on this theme. So on Tuesdays I do basically the
Speaker 3: same thing, but instead of driving to my office where
Speaker 3: I see patients, I just drive home and then set
Speaker 3: up my kind of creative job. I don't usually work
Speaker 3: out later on Tuesdays because I usually just need to
Speaker 3: get started. Thursday is the one day that, depending on
Speaker 3: what I have on my plates, sometimes I'll sleep in
Speaker 3: because he is driving the kids and I could work
Speaker 3: out when he leaves, but honestly, that doesn't happen all
Speaker 3: that often because I often have something like a recording
Speaker 3: that I have to get to, so that doesn't work out.
Speaker 3: And then finally weekends, so I do get up early
Speaker 3: on Saturdays, usually five, so that I can start running
Speaker 3: by six, a little bit later in the winter because
Speaker 3: there's not a need to start my runs so early,
Speaker 3: and the kids are usually asleep until seven or eight,
Speaker 3: and then my husband will like run after I get back,
Speaker 3: and then we can have a more leisurely morning after that.
Speaker 3: And then Sunday I just kind of sleep in until
Speaker 3: the kids are up, which is usually seven or eightish.
Speaker 1: And you almost always build in an hour before you
Speaker 1: start running.
Speaker 3: Okay, you need toffee digestion, like planning. I don't know,
Speaker 3: I just I can't. I know there's some people who
Speaker 3: are just bound out the door, but I usually really
Speaker 3: prefer to have about an hour. Yeah, and then I'll
Speaker 3: just say bedtime is part of my morning routine because
Speaker 3: I get up really early, and there's no way that
Speaker 3: I would be happily following this morning schedule without a
Speaker 3: fairly early bedtime.
Speaker 1: Most nights. I'm not saying every night. I don't want
Speaker 1: to be rigid.
Speaker 3: I want to be able to stay up till midnight
Speaker 3: on New Year's Eve, which we did, But most nights,
Speaker 3: I'm like settling into my bed by even before nine
Speaker 3: sometimes and I'll read for a little bit and then
Speaker 3: I fall asleep. And almost never am I up past
Speaker 3: ten on a weekday because I want to get up early.
Speaker 1: I think we need to make a quote card with
Speaker 1: what you just say said there that bedtimes are part
Speaker 1: of my morning routine, right, that is any point, And
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people don't realize that. But
Speaker 1: bedtime is part of the morning routine. So it doesn't
Speaker 1: work if you don't go to bed. Whatever number of
Speaker 1: hours of sleep you need so she's going to bed
Speaker 1: nine forty five if she's up four to forty five
Speaker 1: to get seven hours of sleep. I mean, that's just math, right.
Speaker 1: I mean, you can try to make it different, but
Speaker 1: the numbers are what they are. They are what they are.
Speaker 3: And I just talked a lot, but I'm pretty passionate
Speaker 3: about my morning routine, not that everyone needs to follow it,
Speaker 3: but that everyone should spend time crafting the routine that
Speaker 3: works for them, because you know, I get a lot
Speaker 3: of pleasure out of my my morning and it is
Speaker 3: my me time.
Speaker 1: Absolutely. Yeah, mine doesn't look like that for various reasons.
Speaker 1: But I mean, so I've set my alarm for six
Speaker 1: thirty usually on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and that is
Speaker 1: seven and a half hours after my bedtime, which is
Speaker 1: eleven PM. So six thirty, I'm up. I make sure
Speaker 1: Jasper is up, then I go shower, get down to
Speaker 1: the kitchen. I make coffee for both of us, Jasper
Speaker 1: and me at that point, and usually make him a
Speaker 1: peanut butter sandwich. And he comes down while I'm out
Speaker 1: of the shower getting dressed. My husband has gotten in
Speaker 1: the shower. He comes down and walks the dog while
Speaker 1: Jasper's finishing his breakfast. The two of them are out
Speaker 1: the door at seven to drive Jasper to school, because
Speaker 1: the bus does come, but it comes a lot earlier
Speaker 1: and we're not that far from the school, and so
Speaker 1: in the interest of nobody needing to wake up before
Speaker 1: six point thirty, we have decided to drive him. And
Speaker 1: next year he'll be driving himself, so all good, and
Speaker 1: school'll be later, so all sorts of things will be
Speaker 1: changing in the future. I generally get Sam and Ruth
Speaker 1: up around between six fifty five and seven, so it
Speaker 1: sort of just as the others are going out the door,
Speaker 1: supervise them getting ready, sometimes make them breakfast like pancakes
Speaker 1: or eggs or something like that. Hopefully my husband is
Speaker 1: back if he's working at home by the time that
Speaker 1: they need to get down, because I want to drive
Speaker 1: them down to the end of down to our bus stop,
Speaker 1: which is it's at the end of our property, but
Speaker 1: it's like we're down along hill, so it's takes them
Speaker 1: a long time to get there if they're walking, like
Speaker 1: winding around on the driveway. So usually someone just gets
Speaker 1: them in the car basically drives them down to the
Speaker 1: end of the driveway. And back, but the little boys
Speaker 1: are still sleeping and we're still in our driveway, so
Speaker 1: figure it's okay. Then, you know, come back. Little boys
Speaker 1: are usually waking up somewhere between seven thirty and eight.
Speaker 1: Get them breakfast. You know, our nanny is starts work
Speaker 1: at eight. Sometimes she comes a little bit earlier, and
Speaker 1: then I start a little bit earlier, or you know,
Speaker 1: if Michael's with the kids or whatever, And I tend
Speaker 1: to begin my day with some of these morning things
Speaker 1: that some people might do earlier. But you know, my
Speaker 1: job is my business, so I can do whatever I want.
Speaker 1: But I do tend to start with some of the
Speaker 1: interruptible stuff too at the beginning of it, Like because
Speaker 1: the little boys, the odds of one of them calling
Speaker 1: for me desperately between eight and eight forty is pretty high, Henry.
Speaker 1: It's very much a mommy's kid, and so sometimes it's
Speaker 1: like he'll scream and I'm buckling him in the car seat.
Speaker 1: So anyway, that's the reality. I'll do interruptible stuff, but
Speaker 1: I often will do my various morning rituals that I
Speaker 1: do have, like writing my sonnet, my two lines in
Speaker 1: the sonnet, doing my back exercises, I'm often now listening
Speaker 1: to my bock during all of this, because i'm, you know,
Speaker 1: at the moment working through the cantatas and some of
Speaker 1: the organ pieces. So the backdrop to all of this
Speaker 1: is a kantata from Bach or an organ sonata. I've
Speaker 1: been listening to a lot of those, and then I
Speaker 1: generally start my focused work at around eight thirty five
Speaker 1: or eight forty, when they are all out the door,
Speaker 1: the house is quiet, and my goal is to do
Speaker 1: whatever the big focus project is of the day from
Speaker 1: eight forty to ten ten fifteen or so, when I
Speaker 1: take a quick break and do something else. So that
Speaker 1: is what my mornings look like. I've been experimenting on
Speaker 1: Tuesdays and Thursdays, Sam and Ruth have jazz band, and
Speaker 1: so they need to leave in the seven o'clock run
Speaker 1: with Michael and Jasper, and he drops Jasper offit school
Speaker 1: and then takes them over to the middle school. And
Speaker 1: I've been getting up. I've been setting my alarm for
Speaker 1: six twenty two, getting my running clothes on, making sure
Speaker 1: the kids are all up at six thirty, then heading
Speaker 1: up to our treadmill. Ideally be running at six thirty five,
Speaker 1: so you can see there's a little bit of a
Speaker 1: difference here. Sarah needs an hour, I'm I don't know,
Speaker 1: I decide to just do it. I'm also not running
Speaker 1: as fast, so maybe maybe she needs a little bit
Speaker 1: more time to prepare for Them's that or as far
Speaker 1: or as far? So, yeah, I can, and I could
Speaker 1: stop in the middle too if I'm on my treadmill,
Speaker 1: because I'm there and the idea is like, just run
Speaker 1: two miles like as quick as I can, like ideally
Speaker 1: get them in in like twenty minutes or something, because
Speaker 1: the treadmill is so incredibly boring that I want to
Speaker 1: get off of it as quickly as I can. And
Speaker 1: you kind of have to ramp up the first one,
Speaker 1: so it's like the first mile it'll be like ten thirty,
Speaker 1: So then that means I'm trying to do the next
Speaker 1: one in nine thirty, so it goes a little faster.
Speaker 1: It's like a progressive speed workout. And then run downstairs
Speaker 1: at six fifty five, six fifty seven, make sure everyone
Speaker 1: truly got up is going, you know, And sometimes one
Speaker 1: of the kids has rolled back over and gone back
Speaker 1: to bed. Sometimes my husband has slept through his alarm,
Speaker 1: so it's really all, you know, a troubleshooting kind of
Speaker 1: thing at that point. But normally they get out the
Speaker 1: door and then I've done my exercise for the morning,
Speaker 1: and I think two quick miles on the treadmill is fine.
Speaker 1: If I do that twice a week, do a long
Speaker 1: run on Saturday, and work out with my trainer on Monday,
Speaker 1: I'm have hit some sort of baseline. It's okay, I
Speaker 1: should do more, sure, but that's good, awesome. Wait is
Speaker 1: that end? Well, there's variations. I mean, oh wait, what
Speaker 1: about weekends? Well, weekends, I mean, so you know that, Yes,
Speaker 1: the weekends do count. Saturday and Sunday. I'm usually up
Speaker 1: around seven thirty. I would say that seven thirty on
Speaker 1: Sunday so I can get ready for church because Jasper
Speaker 1: and I have a nine o'clock rehearsal for choir, and
Speaker 1: I just find it. I like to have enough time
Speaker 1: that I'm not rushed, and I'm normally up by then anyway,
Speaker 1: because I my bedtime could be midnight and wake up
Speaker 1: at seven thirty because I'm not going into the weekend
Speaker 1: usually with sleep deprivation, because I've been pretty rigid about
Speaker 1: being in bed by eleven during the week to wake
Speaker 1: up at six thirty, So then if I'm up till
Speaker 1: eleven thirty, then I'm usually waking up between seven and
Speaker 1: seven thirty on my own. Anyway, once a month I
Speaker 1: run with a friend. We need to be at the
Speaker 1: trail at about seven fifteen on Saturday mornings, so then
Speaker 1: I get up at six thirty on those mornings and
Speaker 1: try to be in bed again, you know, eleven eleven
Speaker 1: thirty on Friday nights to make that happen. But yeah,
Speaker 1: Saturday morning, if I'm running on my own, I don't
Speaker 1: need to be quite as early. I'll usually run eight
Speaker 1: o'clock or so and go till nine, nine thirty, whatever
Speaker 1: happens to be the only other. Obviously, all of this
Speaker 1: has to change if my husband is traveling or if
Speaker 1: I am traveling and we needed to alter the morning
Speaker 1: routine to work with one adult home. So generally what
Speaker 1: happens is, if it's a Monday, Wednesday, Friday, we get
Speaker 1: jazzper up a tiny bit earlier, like five minutes earlier.
Speaker 1: Leave five minutes earlier, because then you can run to
Speaker 1: the high school, come back. Sam and Ruth are with
Speaker 1: the little guys, so I'm there's a fourteen year old
Speaker 1: and a twelve year old in charge of the little ones,
Speaker 1: and so they are not going to leave unless you're back.
Speaker 1: So that's fine. If for some reason I was delayed,
Speaker 1: then I would just drive them all to school at
Speaker 1: that point, and on the jazz band mornings, I get
Speaker 1: all five of them up, get them in the car
Speaker 1: at seven o'clock so can get them out the door.
Speaker 1: And the little boys don't have to be ready, right,
Speaker 1: they just have to be in the car. So I'll
Speaker 1: get them in their pajamas in the car with whatever
Speaker 1: bribes were necessary. Like there's a normally Alex can't use
Speaker 1: his iPad in the morning, but if I have to
Speaker 1: drag him to the high school into jazz band, then
Speaker 1: he gets his iPad.
Speaker 3: And so I feel like that would be a good
Speaker 3: opportunity for like donuts on the way home or something.
Speaker 1: Donuts or something. Yeah, I don't know, but yeah, that's
Speaker 1: the different version of it. And Michael has done that
Speaker 1: too when I've been gone. So neither of us are
Speaker 1: huge fans of the other party traveling on Tuesdays and Thursdays,
Speaker 1: but it's inevitable, so we make it work. Let's take
Speaker 1: a quick ad break and then we will be back
Speaker 1: with more troubleshooting on mornings. So we are back talking
Speaker 1: all things morning routines. So, Sarah, you had a list
Speaker 1: of some common struggles and because I know people shared
Speaker 1: a lot of these with you over the years when
Speaker 1: you have talked about your morning routines, what are some
Speaker 1: things that can go wrong? Yes, so probably one of
Speaker 1: the most common.
Speaker 3: And I live this, so I get it is that
Speaker 3: someone will say I am desperate to do morning stuff,
Speaker 3: like I just wake up and I want to do
Speaker 3: these things, but every time I leave my room, the
Speaker 3: baby somehow knows and wakes up. It's really really hard.
Speaker 3: So my ideas are I mean, well, first of all,
Speaker 3: I understand, and there are modifications you may have to make.
Speaker 3: I mean, I couldn't have done all these things when
Speaker 3: my kids were little and I was waking up to
Speaker 3: feed them because I would have just been too tired anyway,
Speaker 3: So your time may come and that's not probably going
Speaker 3: to be very comforting, but maybe a tiny bit comforting.
Speaker 3: But from a practical standpoint, troubleshooting what is waking them
Speaker 3: up might be worthwhile. I'm not saying anything will work magic,
Speaker 3: but white noise can help if you could move some
Speaker 3: of your routine to your own room. I've heard about
Speaker 3: moms doing that or even having like a way to
Speaker 3: like brutee in their room, if that's far enough from
Speaker 3: the baby's room that they don't you know, the baby
Speaker 3: will hear the vibrations of walking, but if you're not
Speaker 3: leaving your room, they may not hear that. Also, just
Speaker 3: like doing kind of a sound audit in general. We
Speaker 3: actually realized after many years of using espresso that it
Speaker 3: was waking up our kids, and we switched to drip
Speaker 3: coffee and I actually like it better and we've never
Speaker 3: gone back.
Speaker 1: But it was loud. It was too loud.
Speaker 3: So there may be something you can do about the noise.
Speaker 3: Discussing with your partner, if there's days you could trade
Speaker 3: off the first wake up shift, maybe even saying like
Speaker 3: just one day a week, I want to not wake
Speaker 3: up with the baby. And if you're nursing, maybe the
Speaker 3: plan is that you do want to do that, if
Speaker 3: you want to like feed the baby first, but then
Speaker 3: hand the baby over immediately after the feeding is done
Speaker 3: and just kind of not be in charge of the
Speaker 3: baby so that you get Tuesday mornings or whatever morning
Speaker 3: you want, and then gradually figuring out if you can
Speaker 3: do kind of more of a split. And then finally,
Speaker 3: a very popular option that I think does work for
Speaker 3: some people is to just give up on having time
Speaker 3: at home in the morning, but to try to reclaim
Speaker 3: some minutes for yourself at the beginning of your work day.
Speaker 3: And depending on what type of work you do, that
Speaker 3: might mean having to get to work a little bit easier,
Speaker 3: which can have two full benefits because sometimes that means
Speaker 3: beating traffic, which I meean your commute is less, which
Speaker 3: means then you actually end up with like more time,
Speaker 3: like you've bought yourself some time, and then you can
Speaker 3: get in those desired habits at your workplace if you
Speaker 3: work outside of your home and as opposed to like
Speaker 3: working from home because it's not going to work as well.
Speaker 3: Then but like you're getting to your office, but you're
Speaker 3: not starting right away with your first meeting or whatever,
Speaker 3: You're actually gonna do your habits that you wanted to do,
Speaker 3: or even if you didn't want to start the day earlier,
Speaker 3: potentially if you did have a lunch break that you
Speaker 3: could play with, shorten that lunch break, but take some
Speaker 3: time in the morning before you start with your regular work.
Speaker 3: So that would be kind of a way of best
Speaker 3: of both worlds.
Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, yeah, I just having flashbacks of all
Speaker 1: the mornings Alex is up. I wasn't trying to get
Speaker 1: up early to do anything in the morning. He'd just
Speaker 1: be up like he used to wake up at like
Speaker 1: five point forty five every morning for unknown reasons. And yeah,
Speaker 1: as soon as he was interested in videos, that was
Speaker 1: very exciting because then whatever adult was up with him
Speaker 1: could like read at least or something while he was watching. God,
Speaker 1: there's this horrible Chuck video. He ride the truck, the
Speaker 1: little Chuck truck. I don't know, anyway, he was into it.
Speaker 1: That's glad when he was lessened to it. So yeah,
Speaker 1: that just sympathies there. But the good news again is
Speaker 1: like kids do get older, and if you are sort
Speaker 1: of average family with two children who are about two
Speaker 1: to three years apart, you are only spending five years
Speaker 1: or so with children under the age of two, and
Speaker 1: you're probably in the thick of it, which is why
Speaker 1: you're listening to this podcast. But it will end and
Speaker 1: then you will have more control over your mornings or
Speaker 1: you know, you can do crazy things like have five
Speaker 1: children spread out over many, many years and then you're
Speaker 1: always dealing with it. But maybe you don't wake up
Speaker 1: all that early as it is, So yeah, pick what
Speaker 1: you want. So there could be oh, go ahead, No,
Speaker 1: I have to say. The other thing is people like, well,
Speaker 1: wait it work. It takes too long to work out
Speaker 1: in the morning, or maybe they're like you and they
Speaker 1: need an hour to go and they're like, I can't
Speaker 1: stomach the thought of waking up an hour even earlier
Speaker 1: than the workout. So what are some things you can
Speaker 1: do with that?
Speaker 3: Yeah, So definitely thinking about which workouts are going to
Speaker 3: fit your current season. And there is a reason that
Speaker 3: I did not run any long distance type races for
Speaker 3: a decade, like didn't fit my lifestyle, and so know
Speaker 3: that things may change. At home workouts are super popular
Speaker 3: with parents of young kids for a reason. That might
Speaker 3: be the peloton bike, it might be you know videos,
Speaker 3: there's so many different YouTube creators that make really efficient
Speaker 3: workout sessions you can do at home at weights or cardio,
Speaker 3: and I do feel like during those stages like perfect
Speaker 3: is the enemy of the good, you can do fifteen
Speaker 3: to twenty minutes two or three times a week, and
Speaker 3: maybe a couple of those can be weekends, and that
Speaker 3: still is going to count. That is still activity. Your
Speaker 3: body feels it and probably will bring you at least
Speaker 3: some benefit more than doing nothing.
Speaker 1: If exercise is something you want in your life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you don't have to do the same thing every day,
Speaker 1: like a morning routine does not have to be the
Speaker 1: same every single day. It isn't for either of us.
Speaker 1: And because life changes day to day. Is sort of
Speaker 1: think of the whole week, and are there a couple
Speaker 1: times you can do a workout during the course of
Speaker 1: the week, Then that would be great three times a
Speaker 1: week as a habit, as we often say around here.
Speaker 1: And you know the reason. Yeah, we got a treadmill
Speaker 1: so we can do in home workouts when it's dark
Speaker 1: and cold out in the morning, for instance. But I
Speaker 1: think if I was telling myself, well, what's even the
Speaker 1: point of exercising from six thirty five to six fifty
Speaker 1: five and I didn't do it, well, then that's a
Speaker 1: couple miles less per week that I would run. So
Speaker 1: since I'm saying, well that's time I can use, let
Speaker 1: me use it. You know, I get something in and
Speaker 1: something is is definitely better than nothing awesome.
Speaker 3: Well, another common problem is that you have two parents,
Speaker 3: maybe they both work, but there's no clearly defined ownership
Speaker 3: of the morning, or a person is a single parent
Speaker 3: or solo parenting during the week.
Speaker 1: This is tough.
Speaker 3: I think the ownership really does bear a conversation, maybe
Speaker 3: not a desired conversation on the part of someone who
Speaker 3: might not be doing as much as the other partner,
Speaker 3: but still an important one to have. And maybe the
Speaker 3: answer is, hey, this person just is not a morning person.
Speaker 3: They're going to help out in other ways, but at
Speaker 3: least it's kind of clearly delineated. And I do feel
Speaker 3: like two people like sort of taking charge can end
Speaker 3: up being like harder for both people than one person,
Speaker 3: like clearly owning I do breakfast, I get the kids dressed,
Speaker 3: you know, I get the kids do xyz before this happens,
Speaker 3: and then you take over, like I think sometimes and
Speaker 3: this is not about tit for tat, It's just about
Speaker 3: making sure each person's needs are met and that people
Speaker 3: kind of know kind of what their role is. You
Speaker 3: would have that discussion in a professional situation, and I
Speaker 3: think it's worthwhile to have at home as well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and there might be some other solution too. I mean,
Speaker 1: some daycare is open relatively early. So if you have
Speaker 1: a situation where your daycare opens at seven, but you
Speaker 1: don't usually start work till nine, I mean, the option
Speaker 1: would exist. Like you know, if you wanted to take
Speaker 1: two mornings a week and bring the kid to daycare
Speaker 1: at seven and then go do a long run and
Speaker 1: shower and then get to work at nine. I mean
Speaker 1: that could work, right, Like, that is an option and
Speaker 1: is there, and you're probably paying the same tuition regardless
Speaker 1: of what hours you're using, and so that's something that
Speaker 1: you could potentially do if you have a situation where
Speaker 1: you know your partner's traveling during the week or you're
Speaker 1: on your own or something like that. Obviously, the in
Speaker 1: home thing is is great. You know, if you can
Speaker 1: get a there's always you know, people are selling treadmills
Speaker 1: all the time because they thought they were going to
Speaker 1: run and then they used it for hanging their clothes on.
Speaker 1: So that might be something to look into. Putting one
Speaker 1: in your basement so that you could get up and
Speaker 1: run if you can't leave the house because you're the
Speaker 1: only adult. There definitely something to think about. I would
Speaker 1: also point out if you have a partner who is
Speaker 1: traveling a lot for work, they are getting mourning solo
Speaker 1: time by default on the days they are gone, so
Speaker 1: it is absolutely fine for you to have it on
Speaker 1: the days that they are home, and that can just
Speaker 1: be part of the understanding and I don't think anyone
Speaker 1: needs to feel like guilty or like they're asking for
Speaker 1: something huge with that trade off. Now, some people have
Speaker 1: to work very early, so morning routines when that happens.
Speaker 1: I mean, this has been more of a thing now
Speaker 1: as people are working in different locations, right, I mean,
Speaker 1: I know you're hearing from people with like five am zooms, right, yeah.
Speaker 3: People, I mean they may have to like call into
Speaker 3: the London office in the London office as they're meeting
Speaker 3: at nine am, which puts you at like four am
Speaker 3: or something, you know, crazy. Obviously depends on the job,
Speaker 3: but there are people doing that kind of thing. I
Speaker 3: think that's where the bedtime is part of your morning's
Speaker 3: conversation really comes into play, because you cannot plan on
Speaker 3: doing that and like also going to bed at ten
Speaker 3: o'clock and watch or like midnight and watching a bunch
Speaker 3: of shows, like if it's just never going to work,
Speaker 3: So do that math, think about when your night needs
Speaker 3: to start, and then also make sure that it's fair
Speaker 3: from a work perspective. I mean, again, obviously every position
Speaker 3: is different, and not every position is going to be like, oh,
Speaker 3: you work an eight hour day and that's what we
Speaker 3: expect you. But at the same time, if you have
Speaker 3: a five am meeting, hopefully that you're not expected to
Speaker 3: then be on meetings until solidly until five pm or
Speaker 3: seven pm or something like that, because that is a
Speaker 3: lot of hours. And so kind of just really thinking
Speaker 3: about the proportions of your week and making sure that
Speaker 3: they are reasonable, or looking for another job because I mean,
Speaker 3: I wouldn't want to do fourteen hours a day of Zoom,
Speaker 3: and probably most people don't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, again, this is a situation where you think one
Speaker 1: hundred and sixty eight hours, not twenty four. Like, if
Speaker 1: you have zooms at five am and six pm on Tuesday,
Speaker 1: maybe that means that you should block off Wednesday afternoon
Speaker 1: and decide that that's comp time. It's not that you're
Speaker 1: getting away with anything, it's that you have put in
Speaker 1: a longer day Tuesday, and now you're going to put
Speaker 1: in a shorter day on Wednesday, or you're going to
Speaker 1: come in later on Wednesday morning and you're going to
Speaker 1: do whatever morning routine you would have done on Tuesday
Speaker 1: on Wednesday and take that time for your own purposes.
Speaker 1: And like, again, you don't have to do the same
Speaker 1: routine every single day. I was talking with a group
Speaker 1: of consultants once with a speech and somebody was like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to build a morning routine that I do
Speaker 1: every single day, and I'm like, yeah, good luck with that.
Speaker 1: I know, you are on a plane at six am
Speaker 1: on like Tuesday, and then you're on a train on
Speaker 1: Thursday somewhere in the morning, and then you know, it's
Speaker 1: just the time. It doesn't have to look like that.
Speaker 1: And if you think that you're gonna do something at
Speaker 1: the same time every single morning, at the same time,
Speaker 1: and you are in that sort of job, it's just
Speaker 1: you're gonna be very frustrated and you're gonna feel like
Speaker 1: you're failing. And you're not failing. It's that you set
Speaker 1: yourself up to do something that doesn't fit with the
Speaker 1: life you have. But you could definitely have what you
Speaker 1: might think of as a morning checklist, like over the
Speaker 1: course of the morning, I am going to do these
Speaker 1: three things. That's what I think of my stuff. I mean,
Speaker 1: I write my sonnets, I you know, listen to my bock,
Speaker 1: I do my back exercises. Now, those are the three
Speaker 1: things I do in the morning. And sometimes it happens
Speaker 1: by seven am. Sometimes it happens by ten am. Sometimes
Speaker 1: it happens by noon. Right, it's still mostly happening in
Speaker 1: the morning. Sometimes I do my morning routine night because
Speaker 1: I haven't gotten to it yet. I think it's better
Speaker 1: to think about what would you like to include it
Speaker 1: in your life? Where can you include it? Now, for
Speaker 1: many people, that is going to wind up being mornings,
Speaker 1: because if you have a full time job and you
Speaker 1: commute and you have a family, that is the time
Speaker 1: you generally can have for yourself. But it doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be and so you know, there's nothing magical about mornings.
Speaker 1: It's just that it tends to be the time that
Speaker 1: works for a lot of people. So quick bonus, Sarah,
Speaker 1: breakfast favorites. What are you eating for breakfast or your
Speaker 1: kids eating for breakfast these days?
Speaker 3: By glamorous breakfast, But you're eating your graham crackers and yogurt.
Speaker 3: That's the breakfast of champions around a protein bar. Yet
Speaker 3: at a protein bar do so for the kids. So
Speaker 3: one thing I like to do is to like buy
Speaker 3: a bake good on Sunday so Monday's more fun. It
Speaker 3: gets them out of bed. Usually it's like Trader Joe's
Speaker 3: banana bread whatever. We always have smoothie stuff on hand.
Speaker 3: They like to make them themselves so they can decide
Speaker 3: what goes in there. We have lately been embracing it's
Speaker 3: been cold, I mean our version of cold, like it
Speaker 3: was fifties this morning. I've been buying the Kodiak oatmeal
Speaker 3: that has like a little bit of extra protein and
Speaker 3: they have a chocolate chip flavor that's been extremely popular
Speaker 3: in this household. Also, if you add peanut butter to that,
Speaker 3: you have made Reese's oatmeal. It's really delicious. And we
Speaker 3: also have like a default which is like if I'm
Speaker 3: just we're in a super I'm like, you're eating cereal.
Speaker 1: Pick your cereal. End of story. So those are our
Speaker 1: main breakfast options. That is fine well, as mentioned, Jasper
Speaker 1: has a peanut butter sandwich and coffee salm, and Ruth
Speaker 1: will have one of a couple different things, you know,
Speaker 1: one morning a week, I might make them an egg sandwich.
Speaker 1: I might do pancakes one morning a week, because it
Speaker 1: turns out pancakes are very very fast. If you make
Speaker 1: them from a mix, you just put water in the mix,
Speaker 1: or I guess some people do milk and then turn
Speaker 1: on the pan, put them on, flip them. You know
Speaker 1: it's done in a few minutes. But they might have
Speaker 1: cereal or toast or toast or bagel. Breakfast is actually
Speaker 1: free in our school district, so that's always an option
Speaker 1: too if they get there on the bus where Jasper
Speaker 1: gets there a little bit early too. You can just
Speaker 1: pick up a breakfast, and even if you don't really
Speaker 1: need all of it because you had some breakfast at home,
Speaker 1: you can use some of the items as a snack
Speaker 1: later because it tends to be more portable type things,
Speaker 1: because that's how districts often do breakfast. Alex will have
Speaker 1: cheerios plus cheese or yogurt, and Henry's been all over
Speaker 1: the map. He'll sometimes have the pancakes too, but he
Speaker 1: likes things like smoked salmon, yogurt, cheerios, and me, I
Speaker 1: eat two fried eggs plus something, so some days that's
Speaker 1: some like carb product. Some days it's fruit, some days
Speaker 1: it's nothing because I just eat the two fried eggs.
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's my breakfast of champions.
Speaker 3: Here. I feel like Henry might might be your most
Speaker 3: adventurous eater.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, I see signs both directions,
Speaker 1: but you know, so far he's willing to try different things.
Speaker 1: So questions Sarah, uh the question this week? How do
Speaker 1: you manage transitions effectively, such as when your nanny arrives,
Speaker 1: Like so you're not spending fifteen to twenty minutes getting
Speaker 1: everyone up to speed on what's going on in the day,
Speaker 1: or going from the insanity of bedtime antics to sitting
Speaker 1: down with a book or getting kids in the car
Speaker 1: or a kid activity when you have things like swimsuits
Speaker 1: or ice skates, unloading or loading all the kids in
Speaker 1: the vehicle. This person has three kids under the age
Speaker 1: of five, and she feels like transitions are eating up
Speaker 1: a bunch of her life. What do you are there
Speaker 1: ways to minimize it, Sarah? What do you think? Yes
Speaker 1: and no?
Speaker 3: You know, interestingly, some of the things you mentioned, I'm like, yep,
Speaker 3: takes a long time, and then others I'm like, hmm,
Speaker 3: I never spent a lot of.
Speaker 1: Time doing that.
Speaker 3: So the one that I never did do that might
Speaker 3: be streamlinable would be the nanny communication stuff. And I
Speaker 3: think there's probably a lot you could communicate by just
Speaker 3: having stuff like on a whiteboard, like if you just
Speaker 3: need to show like who ate, who still needs what like,
Speaker 3: it might be quicker to just be doing that as
Speaker 3: the morning's unfolding, so she can just see that when
Speaker 3: she gets here, or send a quick text. The longer
Speaker 3: you've had a nanny, the less of a transition time.
Speaker 3: And I also feel like the less time you have
Speaker 3: for that nanny transition, the less time you'll spend. So
Speaker 3: our nanni used to I mean, we no longer have
Speaker 3: childcare calm in the morning, we don't need that. I
Speaker 3: drive the kids to school. But back when our Nanni
Speaker 3: would come and I had to drive there was I
Speaker 3: had to leave, like basically within two minutes of her
Speaker 3: getting there or I was gonna be late for work.
Speaker 1: I had to get on the.
Speaker 3: Highway, And I think by necessity it was a very
Speaker 3: short transition. So I think that one may be one
Speaker 3: worth delving into first streamlining, But a lot of those
Speaker 3: other things, the bedtime antics, the you mentioned putting on
Speaker 3: ice skates. Yeah, that stuff is like I mean, skis
Speaker 3: don't even get me started, Like you just have to
Speaker 3: I think accept some of that, Like bedtime is never
Speaker 3: gonna be quick because it takes kids like their nervous
Speaker 3: systems have to wind down, and so having a routine
Speaker 3: that's three minutes work probably won't even work. Like there
Speaker 3: is value in that longer routine because as they go,
Speaker 3: as you go through each of the steps, it's probably
Speaker 3: gonna kind of slow we rub them down into the
Speaker 3: feeling like bedtime, kind of like adults aren't going to
Speaker 3: be able to just snap straight in into bedtime for
Speaker 3: things like ice skating. I think just thinking of it
Speaker 3: as like listen, when you have three kids under five,
Speaker 3: part of life is just like getting through each day,
Speaker 3: and an activity like ice skating isn't about like, wow,
Speaker 3: we're gonna have so much fun ice skating because you're
Speaker 3: not like they're too young, like it's gonna be terrible.
Speaker 1: I mean, well in my experience, but putting.
Speaker 3: The skates on is part of the activity, and if
Speaker 3: that makes the activity two hours instead of an hour,
Speaker 3: then great, You've like done more activities for that day,
Speaker 3: like I think you're winning and not losing, and so
Speaker 3: reframing it might be helpful because young kid life is
Speaker 3: not efficient and that's okay. As I said, how long
Speaker 3: do you really want to skate or swim with your toddlers?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you just have to build those transitions.
Speaker 1: And I mean I was sort of this has always
Speaker 1: been a thing because it's possible that one parent in
Speaker 1: our family may decide that because the why is twenty
Speaker 1: minutes away, and your swim class starts in twenty minutes,
Speaker 1: that's the time you leave. It's like, no, that is
Speaker 1: not the time you leave. It takes ten minutes to
Speaker 1: get everyone into swimsuits. Ice skating was worse too, I
Speaker 1: mean even with older children. I mean mine weren't under five,
Speaker 1: but for whatever reason, they couldn't lace up their own skates,
Speaker 1: you know, into ages where it felt like people should
Speaker 1: be able to lace up their own skates. So just
Speaker 1: sort of have to accept that there is the time
Speaker 1: to get there. There is the time to park, there
Speaker 1: is the time to walk into the thing. There is
Speaker 1: the time to get the equipment on and then get
Speaker 1: into the pool or the ice skating rink or whatever
Speaker 1: it is, and all of those things are not zero,
Speaker 1: and if you think there's zero, you're going to be
Speaker 1: running late everywhere and frustrated and frustrated. So build it
Speaker 1: in as the time to Yeah, but then I mean
Speaker 1: sometimes I think we can also make our transitions longer
Speaker 1: with our own things. I mean, so not kids are
Speaker 1: what they are, right, and there's ways you can have
Speaker 1: routines and can streamline and keep everything you know in
Speaker 1: packed by the door, like always have the diaper bag packed.
Speaker 1: Like if you take something out, you put it right
Speaker 1: back in, or if something's out, you restock it. Make
Speaker 1: sure the activity stuff is always in a bag and
Speaker 1: the bag is always by the door. But with your
Speaker 1: own stuff, like I think often we can have transitions
Speaker 1: fill the time that is available. And a part of
Speaker 1: the transition problem is not knowing exactly what you want
Speaker 1: to do. And so you know, people get their kids
Speaker 1: down and then it's like you're puttering around the house
Speaker 1: for another thirty minutes until you're like, oh, yeah, this
Speaker 1: is what I want to do for the night. So
Speaker 1: don't do that. Think about it when you're thinking about
Speaker 1: your day, Like if I have leisure time tonight, I
Speaker 1: would like to do X, and maybe it's that your
Speaker 1: favorite show comes on at ten, Great, you're going to
Speaker 1: watch that. Or maybe it's that you and your husband
Speaker 1: are going to have a late dinner together. Or maybe
Speaker 1: it's that you have a book that you are reading
Speaker 1: and you want to read thirty pages in it tonight. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's or you're doing a puzzle or you're going to
Speaker 1: call a frint. But if you know what your leisure
Speaker 1: time is, then and as soon as the kids are down,
Speaker 1: you can dive into it right instead of losing that
Speaker 1: time puttering around the house and sort of trying to
Speaker 1: figure out what you're going to do. And so the
Speaker 1: transition disappears. It wasn't needing to be a huge transition
Speaker 1: Anyway's just because the mental transition took a while because
Speaker 1: you weren't sure exactly what you intended to do. So
Speaker 1: I'll just throw that out there as an idea.
Speaker 3: Also, we should link to our entire episode we did
Speaker 3: on transitions because we did transition.
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly, all right. Love of the Week, Sarah, what's
Speaker 1: your favorite thing this week?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'm going to do morning themed loves
Speaker 3: of the week. The sunrise on my runs, which especially
Speaker 3: is during the like right now, because once the time changes,
Speaker 3: it's going to be dark again, and I'm going to
Speaker 3: be sad. But right now it's awesome. And my auto
Speaker 3: timed coffee, oh the best.
Speaker 1: It's the best. I love our coffee maker. We've got
Speaker 1: this like one that's built into the wall and it's
Speaker 1: like a fancy one, so you can just put your
Speaker 1: cup under it and press the number of ounces you
Speaker 1: want as long as you're refilling the beans. That's it's
Speaker 1: like it makes your coffee for you. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's like you order a coffee and it's there and
Speaker 1: it tastes really good. I don't know. I liked it
Speaker 1: frush from beans, like it grinds the beans and then
Speaker 1: does it. But I'll go here with winter sunsets, so
Speaker 1: sort of the opposite of sunrise. We have some cool
Speaker 1: sunrises around here, but you can't see them so well
Speaker 1: from our house because we have like a lot of
Speaker 1: big trees and houses toward the east, but the west
Speaker 1: is pretty open, and so especially in the winter, there's
Speaker 1: this hill and the trees are bare, and so you
Speaker 1: can see the sun setting and I mean, too bad
Speaker 1: it's happening at four thirty pm.
Speaker 3: But you can see that it's happening at four thirty pm.
Speaker 3: You're there, right, I'm looking.
Speaker 1: Out my office window as opposed to like running around
Speaker 1: getting people to bet or something. I guess that's true. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's a I can see it in the winter,
Speaker 1: and so I really try to pause and appreciate given
Speaker 1: that it will then be dark for like the next
Speaker 1: sixteen hours. Love. All right, Well, this has been best
Speaker 1: of both worlds. We've been talking morning routines, troubleshoe, various
Speaker 1: issues that can go wrong, and is attempting to make
Speaker 1: a morning routine. We will be back next week with
Speaker 1: more on making work and life fit together. Thanks for listening.
Speaker 3: You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com
Speaker 3: or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can.
Speaker 2: Find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has
Speaker 2: been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join us
Speaker 2: next time for more on making work and life work together.