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Speaker 1: It is time now for my Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry letter to STEVEARVFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 2: We got a Folieavity and Strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject. I love him, but I feel

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Speaker 1: like we're stuck. Dear Stephen Shirley, I've known my husband

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Speaker 1: for seven years and he is still saying that everything

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Speaker 1: we have hoped for and stuff we dream about will

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Speaker 1: happen soon. Meanwhile, he stopped being eager to look at

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Speaker 1: at new homes for us, even though I'm pregnant and

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Speaker 1: his parents' old three bedroom house is too small for us.

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Speaker 1: We are a lot of commotion at night on our street,

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Speaker 1: but he thinks that this area will be gentrified soon

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Speaker 1: and will be instant millionaires if we wait to sell

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Speaker 1: the house. I've been working hard and saving money. I

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Speaker 1: got a second job to buy the essentials for our

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Speaker 1: first child, and he always says it's a waste of

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Speaker 1: money because the baby won't care how the room looks.

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Speaker 1: It's a struggle to spend money to better myself or him.

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Speaker 1: I buy what I want him to wear, and he

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Speaker 1: will wear most of what I buy unless he thinks

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Speaker 1: it was too expensive. After a year of marriage, he

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Speaker 1: started penny pinching. We stopped taking vacations, and he cut

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Speaker 1: up my American Express card. He said, that's how marriage goes.

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Speaker 1: He then started saying that I want to keep up

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Speaker 1: with everyone I see on social media, and he's right.

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Speaker 1: I do want to have a lavish lifestyle because we

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Speaker 1: work hard and shouldn't have to accept less. I would

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Speaker 1: like a new home close to better schools, and I

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Speaker 1: want to get a small SUV since I'm having his baby.

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Speaker 1: There is nothing wrong with doing better, and I keep

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Speaker 1: telling him that he needs to change his mindset. I

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Speaker 1: don't know why he snapped out after we got married,

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Speaker 1: but we are stuck in the same lifestyle and that

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Speaker 1: we had when we started dating. I hate to say it,

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Speaker 1: but I regret marrying him sometimes. I was fly a

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Speaker 1: f before I met my husband. How can I turn

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Speaker 1: this hopeless? What that means, sir, you know what it means.

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Speaker 1: You don't know what that means for real? Okay, I'll

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Speaker 1: tell you. I'll tell you off ear, ya know what

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Speaker 1: it means. Or I have to get someone that curses

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Speaker 1: and then I'll fly as AS all right, you know

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Speaker 1: what it means. It's the same f as.

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Speaker 3: F a A is the Federal Aviation Association.

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Speaker 1: All right, So you know what you guys really couldn't

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Speaker 1: be more unequally yoked at this point. I mean, you

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Speaker 1: have nothing in common. You were right in the sense

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Speaker 1: sense that there's nothing wrong with wanting to be better

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Speaker 1: and elevate yourself in life. There's nothing wrong with that.

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Speaker 1: Having a successful mindset is nothing wrong with that. But

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Speaker 1: not if you can't afford it. Okay, you don't like it,

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Speaker 1: but your husband is right because he knows you're trying

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Speaker 1: to live a lie right now, not if you want

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Speaker 1: to live way above your means. He's looking out for

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Speaker 1: his family. It seems he knows the baby is coming

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Speaker 1: and living in Instagram lifestyle should not be a role

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Speaker 1: model for you. You have to get something that's more real.

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Speaker 1: Only some of those people really live like that on Instagram,

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Speaker 1: and those people who are balling out like that. You

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Speaker 1: need to check their bank accounts because for all you know,

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Speaker 1: they could be living from paycheck to paycheck, okay, and

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Speaker 1: pinching pennies like you say your husband is doing. And

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Speaker 1: guess what, a lot of them really don't look like that.

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Speaker 1: On social media. It's smoke and mirrors, it's filters. We

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Speaker 1: talk about that a lot on this show. You can

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Speaker 1: get all kinds of apps and change your self in

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Speaker 1: your eyes, your body, all of that. So I just

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Speaker 1: say to you, your husband is not wrong. He might

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Speaker 1: have some communication issues and not know how to express

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Speaker 1: his frustration to you. So you got to take that

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Speaker 1: into consideration and concentrate on being a real person, flaws

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Speaker 1: and all. Be authentically. You don't let social media dictate

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Speaker 1: to you how you should live. Be happy, appreciate where

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Speaker 1: you are, be grateful without social media. Because you and

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Speaker 1: your husband have major life stuff going on right now,

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Speaker 1: life changing things. You got a baby coming. You need

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Speaker 1: to be a good example for your baby and not

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Speaker 1: try to do what the people on social media do.

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Speaker 3: That you say, Steve, I agree with you, Shirley in

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Speaker 3: some respects, but I also understand what this lady is saying.

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Speaker 3: And this is a hard spot for her to be

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Speaker 3: in the title of the letter is I love him,

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Speaker 3: but I feel like we're stuck. Well, you knowing your

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Speaker 3: husband for seven years and he's still saying that everything

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Speaker 3: we have hoped for and stuff we dream about, what

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Speaker 3: happens soon. She says, Meanwhile, he stopped being eager to

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Speaker 3: look at new homes for us, even though I'm pregnant

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Speaker 3: and we live in his parents' own three bedroomhouse. When

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Speaker 3: a person says he stopped being eager, what does that

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Speaker 3: really mean? Because if he's saying we're going to have

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Speaker 3: everything we hope for and stuff we dream about, it'll

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Speaker 3: happen soon.

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Speaker 2: But he stopped being eager, meaning he's stopped.

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Speaker 3: What this means is he has stopped making effort and

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Speaker 3: he stopped making moves. Now we have a problem, because

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Speaker 3: guess what, faith without works is dead.

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Speaker 2: And I think that's what we have here.

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Speaker 3: A man that's saying everything gonna be all right, a

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Speaker 3: man that's believing that everything gonna be all right, but

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Speaker 3: a man that ain't doing nothing to make it right.

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Speaker 2: That's what this letter is really about.

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Speaker 3: Now she's looking at stuff and not she wants to

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Speaker 3: move out the house because she says it's already too

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Speaker 3: small for us. Then he said, she, you know, she said,

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Speaker 3: we are a lot of commotion going on that night

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Speaker 3: on our street. But he thinks that this area will

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Speaker 3: be gentrified soon.

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Speaker 2: And we'll be instant millionaires.

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Speaker 3: Well, broh, When a neighborhood is gentrified, that means they

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Speaker 3: move out all the people that's in it to bring

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Speaker 3: in new people.

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Speaker 1: All right, hang on, Steve with that thought, we'll have

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Speaker 1: part two of your response coming up at twenty three

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Speaker 1: minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter subject is I

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Speaker 1: love him, but I feel like we're stuck. We'll get

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Speaker 1: back into it right after this. Hey, this is your

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Speaker 1: girl Shirley's Strawberry. And according to research, a major challenge

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Speaker 1: That's ZipRecruiter dot com slash Strawberry. All right, come on, Steve,

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Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject is I love him,

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Speaker 1: but I feel like we're stuck. Now.

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Speaker 3: Shirley made some good points when she addressed a letter

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Speaker 3: because this woman is caught up in social media, which

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Speaker 3: is all true what she said, but she has a

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Speaker 3: double plamme of a problem because she feels like they stuck.

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Speaker 2: Y'all been married seven years.

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Speaker 3: He's still saying everything we had hope for and stuff

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Speaker 3: we dream about going to happen soon. The problem is,

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Speaker 3: she says, he stopped being eager to look at new

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Speaker 3: homes and all this here, and he don't want to move.

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Speaker 3: And you know, he thinking that if they stay in

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Speaker 3: this house, gentrification is coming, and if they hold on,

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Speaker 3: it'll be millionaires. Well, you know here's a problem. Faith

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Speaker 3: without works is dead. He still thinks they gonna have everything,

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Speaker 3: but he's making no effort and no moves to make

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Speaker 3: it happen. That's why the scripture says faith without works

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Speaker 3: is dead. So you can want and hope all you want,

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Speaker 3: but if you ain't willing to do nothing what you

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Speaker 3: want to happen.

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Speaker 2: And that's where this woman is stuck at with him.

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Speaker 3: Now they're about to have this baby, and she want

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Speaker 3: to go out and fix the room up. He said,

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Speaker 3: it's a waste of money because the baby don't care

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Speaker 3: how the room look.

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Speaker 2: Well, the baby might not, but she do.

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Speaker 3: And she the mama, and she having a baby, she's

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Speaker 3: gonna go in there and sit in the new crib

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Speaker 3: and rock and chair and you know, bassing that and

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Speaker 3: have stuff for the baby that other babies have. You

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Speaker 3: don't even want your baby to have nothing. So now

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Speaker 3: you don't want nothing. You don't want your wife to

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Speaker 3: quit want nothing, And now you don't want to get

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Speaker 3: a baby a damn thing.

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Speaker 2: Man, Come on, man, and then he will be. He

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Speaker 2: will wear.

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Speaker 3: He will wear most of what you buy, unless he

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Speaker 3: thinks it's too experiensive.

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Speaker 2: Now he just want cheap stuff. Better. What that white

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Speaker 2: shirt called.

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Speaker 3: Forty dollars? You know you get a white shirt for

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Speaker 3: fifteen dollars. Okay, he started penny After a year of marriage,

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Speaker 3: he started penny pinching. We stopped taking vacations and he

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Speaker 3: caught up my American Express car. God talk, man, he said,

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Speaker 3: that's how marriage goes now our pardonner. That's how divorce go.

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Speaker 3: He then started saying that I want to keep on

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Speaker 3: everybody I see on social media, and he's right. I

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Speaker 3: do want to have a leavish lifestyle because we work

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Speaker 3: hard and we shouldn't have to accept less. I would

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Speaker 3: like a new home close to a better school, and

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Speaker 3: I want to get a small SUV since I'm having

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Speaker 3: his baby. There's nothing wrong with doing better. I keep

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Speaker 3: telling it. He needs to change his mindset. I don't know

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Speaker 3: why he snapped out after we got married, but we

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Speaker 3: are stuck in the same lifestyle and we have we

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Speaker 3: stuck in the same lifestyle we had when we started dating.

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Speaker 3: I hate to say it this at the beginning of

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Speaker 3: the end, but I regret marrying him sometime. God, dog,

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Speaker 3: i'd have tied myself to this. Wont nothing do nothing?

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Speaker 3: As made God? I was fly then on what now

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Speaker 3: that's what the letter I was? Oh, no, Sims, it's

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Speaker 3: say I was fly a l Oh yeah, oh, I

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Speaker 3: had forgot that.

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Speaker 2: What it said? I was paraphrasingly.

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Speaker 3: I was flying at before I met my husband. I

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Speaker 3: have made this trick. Now I'm sitting in here looking

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Speaker 3: like a damn Debbie donob When I go to work

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Speaker 3: now I'm sitting m been here with damn house coach

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Speaker 3: on the way they move me ass dressed. I'm tired

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Speaker 3: of going to work looking like I ought to be

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Speaker 3: in the back making gricks and stuff. I'm sick of

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Speaker 3: that's right here. I used to be flying hell when

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Speaker 3: I met you, I had everything. I was popping. I'm

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Speaker 3: still been married, Jo soryd. Now I had to sell

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Speaker 3: my persons and stuff. Hey, but don't worry it, o baby,

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Speaker 3: because Walmart got a new burking out. Walmart has a

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Speaker 3: new burking out. You can make a comeback now you ain't.

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Speaker 3: It ain't finna be the real one, but it looks

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Speaker 3: like it from what I understand it. Yeah, So I

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Speaker 3: don't know what to tell you about this. I feel

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Speaker 3: sorry for you. Your husband is in a place if

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Speaker 3: he don't want nothing.

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Speaker 2: See.

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Speaker 3: Some people's version is to cut back. Sometimes cutting back

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Speaker 3: is necessary, But how about if you make more?

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Speaker 2: Now? The problem is if you've lived beyond your meanings.

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Speaker 3: If you've lived beyond your means, then cutting back is

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Speaker 3: necessary so you can get back within your means, so

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Speaker 3: what you do make becomes more manageable and appears to

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Speaker 3: be a plenty. But if what you have don't appear

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Speaker 3: to be enough, you have two choices. You can cut

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Speaker 3: back or you can make more. I don't think he's

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Speaker 3: that type of man to go out and make more,

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Speaker 3: because he ain't finna do that. He's already cut your card.

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Speaker 3: Once they cut your American Express card up, you're not

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Speaker 3: getting no damn new suv. I can just tell you

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Speaker 3: that right now. He don't get damn what the one.

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Speaker 3: He'll paint the baby room, but the baby finished sleep

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Speaker 3: in whatever bed that's in there. He gonna make a

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Speaker 3: bed because it's cheaper. I don't know what he gonna do,

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Speaker 3: But your baby ain't fitna have a damn thing. I'm

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Speaker 3: just gonna tell you that right now, you and the

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Speaker 3: baby ain't fit to have a damn thing. Leaving him

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Speaker 3: is gonna put you a little bit further behind the

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Speaker 3: eight ball for a while. So I think you all

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Speaker 3: are gonna have to sit down have some serious conversations.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 3: This ain't high marriage. Go Marriage is a series of compromises,

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Speaker 3: and it's a set of two people working together. So

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Speaker 3: until y'all get on that page, you're not fitna have

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Speaker 3: a damn thing and the baby not getting.

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Speaker 2: No new clothes.

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Speaker 1: All right, you can come.

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Speaker 2: So who y'all know got a baby that can give

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Speaker 2: y'all they clothes.

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Speaker 1: You're coming on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook

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Speaker 1: at Steve Harvey FM. Also check out the Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. Coming up next it

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Speaker 1: is Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening

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Speaker 1: to the Steve Harvey Morning Show