Speaker 1: The nick Laser Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello here, I am
Speaker 1: welcome to the show. It's the Nicki Glazer Podcast. It's Monday.
Speaker 1: Andrew new shirt. No problems. New to me that this
Speaker 1: is the weirdest thing you You only brought so many
Speaker 1: clothes to the Where we are? Where are we Cabo?
Speaker 1: Why haven't I seen that shirt yet? Why hasn't that
Speaker 1: been in rotation? This is the last day we are here.
Speaker 1: I found it folded under a bunch of I knew
Speaker 1: there was a reason. I think I wore one other time.
Speaker 1: Mom's delis shout out St. Louis here we come. Cool.
Speaker 1: It's a good um the Mike um pink Mike's match
Speaker 1: the print I like. I like the black and pink.
Speaker 1: What is your shirt? Noah v over Victoria's Secrets for good.
Speaker 1: Guess it's my old jiu jitsu school. Oh v O
Speaker 1: R S fature shallowing. Okay, cool, that's a cool log. Um,
Speaker 1: welcome to the show. I'm glad that we've gone over
Speaker 1: what everyone's wearing. What the fun are you wearing? I've
Speaker 1: never seen that shirt I'm wearing. It's not sure it's
Speaker 1: stress summer. It's a long yet as I'm stressed. It's
Speaker 1: a stressed, it's like a long Yeah, I opened my class.
Speaker 1: I forgot that. When I got here. I hung up
Speaker 1: a bunch of stuff like a real person does when
Speaker 1: they like check into a hotel for a month. And
Speaker 1: then I never opened the goddamn closet because I've never
Speaker 1: once put away things were so similar. I did that
Speaker 1: right away. I put my pants in there. I put
Speaker 1: my jacket and like two other things, and my nicest, shoot,
Speaker 1: my nicest, Like we've been wearing the same three things.
Speaker 1: I've never seen him. I opened the closet the other day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like funding him body. I opened the thing.
Speaker 1: It was like fifteen nice outfits and shoes that I
Speaker 1: put it like, you know, I couldn't believe it, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I did so. I like when I first got here,
Speaker 1: I put everything in the drawers in the closet, and
Speaker 1: then when I would do laundry, I would just I
Speaker 1: would put every all my dirty laundry in this big suitcase,
Speaker 1: go haul it over to the laundry uh thing system here,
Speaker 1: do the laundry, and then just put all my stuff
Speaker 1: folded back into the suitcase. I like living out of
Speaker 1: the suitcase. It's all in one place. It all gets
Speaker 1: it all gets mixed up pretty quickly, but at least
Speaker 1: I know where it all is. I'm like, I don't
Speaker 1: need drawers. Drawers are no because drawers. It could be
Speaker 1: in this drawer, it could be it could be in
Speaker 1: the closet, it could be so many places. When you
Speaker 1: don't have that much stuff that it all fits in
Speaker 1: one place. It's just I don't mind it all. Just
Speaker 1: you know which drawer has that actual stuff. I abandoned
Speaker 1: my drawer, like you know, Uh, it's like mixing together.
Speaker 1: This is just gonna be uh the shirts that I
Speaker 1: don't work out in but like aren't that nice, but
Speaker 1: are like T shirts for It's gonna be a drawer
Speaker 1: of my like workout but like nice workout stuff, so
Speaker 1: like if I'm working out in front of people, are
Speaker 1: want to look cute when I'm running. This is like
Speaker 1: all my workout stuff that is disgusting but that I
Speaker 1: can't get rid of because it's just so tried and
Speaker 1: true and it's really all I want to wear. And
Speaker 1: then this strawer is for like things with frills on
Speaker 1: them that like I might wear, like if I want to,
Speaker 1: I don't and then I abandoned that structure with it
Speaker 1: with the first time I do laundry, and then I
Speaker 1: just throw it all in, like you know what I like.
Speaker 1: I like when I have I'll have like a a
Speaker 1: pants drawer, and then I'll run out of shirt space,
Speaker 1: and then shirt space, and I'll come inside the pant drawer,
Speaker 1: but just to decide tucked away, and this is where
Speaker 1: I put my pants and my shirts that I've got
Speaker 1: won't fit in that other drawer. I'll remember that too.
Speaker 1: I'll remember that. That's definitely I always conse myself. That's
Speaker 1: I'll remember this stack for tank tops that are tied eye.
Speaker 1: I have a question for you guys. Okay, so when
Speaker 1: you're just keeping your stuff in a suitcase, like let's
Speaker 1: say you're just traveling for the weekend, what do you
Speaker 1: do with your dirty clothes? I put them in a
Speaker 1: bag exceparate from the rest. I usually bring up a
Speaker 1: tote bag that's empty, or I put my I usually
Speaker 1: put my underwear and socks in a tote bag. And
Speaker 1: so if if the hotel doesn't supply a plastic bag
Speaker 1: in the closet, which some of them aren't now for
Speaker 1: some reason, hotels have made a sweeping change where they
Speaker 1: don't give you lotion anymore, and they don't give you
Speaker 1: bags in the closet. It's just a thing that I've noticed. Um,
Speaker 1: But yeah, I just always get a plastic bag and
Speaker 1: just throw them in there. Andrew answers that, yeah, And
Speaker 1: what I do. I just I smell the crotch and
Speaker 1: I go, that's not that bad. I'll wear it again.
Speaker 1: There's sometimes I'll smell my own crotch. And I'm sure
Speaker 1: other guys do this where you smell your underwear and
Speaker 1: just to see if it's still wearable, and it is
Speaker 1: what no one knows that with underwear guys do. We
Speaker 1: We do it to see if it's clean or not,
Speaker 1: like if I never wore it or I wore it. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: guys will do it so they can wear it again.
Speaker 1: I think I might be alone, but I'll die on
Speaker 1: this mountain that I'll fall off and smell like ship
Speaker 1: in my coal. So I do a smell test right
Speaker 1: by the crotch, and it is. It's like Russian Roulette,
Speaker 1: but you know exactly where to Russian is it? Yes?
Speaker 1: It can be really bad sometimes and you're just like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, all right, I'll wear it again. Alright,
Speaker 1: three more wears. It's already smelling's I'm like, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: but yeah, but yeah no, yeah but yeah no but yeah,
Speaker 1: someone doesn't know. But yeah, it's just such a I've
Speaker 1: heard it before. Yeah, but now I always smell my things.
Speaker 1: I'll smell underwear if they somehow like I feel like
Speaker 1: this pair looks a little dirty to be in the clean,
Speaker 1: I'll smell it to see if it actually is clean
Speaker 1: or not. But if it has any vaginal smell on it,
Speaker 1: it will not be worn a gun. But I mean,
Speaker 1: I would rather wear nothing. I would rather wear. I
Speaker 1: would rather wear I will never put on an apparently
Speaker 1: that is. And I'm not someone who's like really scared
Speaker 1: of germs or like disgusted by things, obviously, but that
Speaker 1: to me, I just it just doesn't it's not even
Speaker 1: that it's gross. It's just like it's like, you want
Speaker 1: to know where I'm at where with underwear? Even in jeans,
Speaker 1: I will go underwear lists. Yeah, even in jeans. You
Speaker 1: know what, Here's what I'll do. I would flip underwear
Speaker 1: that isn't too bad inside out. Okay, I like that?
Speaker 1: Can you get? Can you get into that then you wear.
Speaker 1: But then I've said this before. Girls who don't wear
Speaker 1: underwear and wear jeans, you better be washing those jeans
Speaker 1: every single day because your underwear now your jeans, babe.
Speaker 1: And if you wouldn't wear underwear every day, why would
Speaker 1: you wear those jeans? Again, you are getting stuff in this.
Speaker 1: You're creaming those jeans. But are you creaming denim different
Speaker 1: in creaming cotton? I would say no. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: cotton gets more soggy or and denim has a more
Speaker 1: way to it. But still it's gonna be a smelly thing.
Speaker 1: There's there's something kind of like a paper towel is
Speaker 1: the denim and cotton is toilet paper. Yeah, I see
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like one absorbs might use a dirty
Speaker 1: paper towel. Again, it's the smell more, It's not so
Speaker 1: much the look of it. But I don't think denim.
Speaker 1: I think you could get a like one underwear where
Speaker 1: I hear this, but I don't care. I don't want
Speaker 1: to wear anything that has any pussy smell on it whatsoever.
Speaker 1: It gross as me out. I I mean I rarely
Speaker 1: have to smell. Sometimes I change underwear a couple of
Speaker 1: times a day just because I'm like, no, I pulled
Speaker 1: these down and I was on the toilet too long.
Speaker 1: They're now old underwear. They're now like underwear I wore before.
Speaker 1: I can't put this would be putting back on dirty
Speaker 1: underwear as opposed to just pulling back up my pants. Also,
Speaker 1: women on like guys boxers. Even though boxer breefs are
Speaker 1: a little tight, it's a different ball game when you're
Speaker 1: wearing really tight undies. Like if guys wore more tighty
Speaker 1: white ease, they'd be switching and you guys aren't dripping
Speaker 1: things out of yourself. That's a good point we have.
Speaker 1: You know, there's we covered this on the Reddit dump
Speaker 1: last week where someone was like thought or someone thought,
Speaker 1: period blood just like seeps out all day long. Like,
Speaker 1: you guys don't even know what our vaginas do when
Speaker 1: it's not on our period. I mean maybe you have
Speaker 1: some idea, but yeah, they're always like you know, they're
Speaker 1: living organisms. Yeah, guys think that of vagina is like
Speaker 1: a like like a tampons a damn, you know, like
Speaker 1: that's blocking just this Yeah, yeah, like it's a stream
Speaker 1: and a beaver just yeah, like you need a plumber
Speaker 1: like that it's just drip, drip, drip. That would be
Speaker 1: funny way to waterboards. So there are times where you
Speaker 1: like this pussy, well, now you're getting water boarded with
Speaker 1: the blood. You put a cloth over the head and
Speaker 1: just squat over their head. Umi me, codes man, have
Speaker 1: you ever watched someone getting waterboarded. I've seen people try
Speaker 1: to do it. I'm just kidding, but for fun. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I see people do it. I've seen I think it
Speaker 1: was like he was Richard Dawkins tried to do it.
Speaker 1: Some like Philosopher tried to do it and said it
Speaker 1: was the worst experience of his entire like he had
Speaker 1: no idea how bad it was going to be. There
Speaker 1: was some guy that did, like a it was like,
Speaker 1: I want to be waterboard to see how bad it is.
Speaker 1: Because you don't, you don't drown. It's the thing. It
Speaker 1: gives you the feeling like you're drowning. It was Christopher,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. It was the guy that said
Speaker 1: women aren't funny? Yeah, thank you. Noah, how did you
Speaker 1: know that? Did you know that? Or did you look
Speaker 1: it up? I looked up? How did you look it up?
Speaker 1: How did you google? I said, uh, Philosopher, water boarded. Yes,
Speaker 1: but yes, I knew it was someone I would do it.
Speaker 1: I would see how it feels. I would never would
Speaker 1: you ever get taste? Yeah, but I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I have the heart for it. Skeptical
Speaker 1: swimming with whales, Yeah, they don't have tasers. Be bad
Speaker 1: as that they did the old days are whale That's
Speaker 1: that's a you know, evolution will lead to that. Eventually,
Speaker 1: if there's enough trash in the ocean, they'll find a way.
Speaker 1: Wait a sec, you would be Let's talk about some
Speaker 1: things that you would do. You win, sky diving, yeah,
Speaker 1: chat you bungee jumping? Would you do that? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Part of me thinks I will do it before I die.
Speaker 1: It's not something that would Branna do that. I don't know.
Speaker 1: She's alleged head in ways. She hasn't like water. She's
Speaker 1: not a water head. Well this isn't over water. Let's
Speaker 1: just say this is over she would maybe do it crevasse.
Speaker 1: There's a chance if I could do it with someone
Speaker 1: else that like it's like, hey man, yeah you need
Speaker 1: a little peer pressure. Yeah you want to smoke pressure?
Speaker 1: Yeah you want this? And I'm like, yeah, okay, would
Speaker 1: you So far the answers to this has been all
Speaker 1: know for me. No, I know you would probably skydive, right, No, oh,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't never ever nothing. Why skin face skin? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I get stretched out. It could be good for you. No,
Speaker 1: how do you know? Because every time I see videos
Speaker 1: of people sky diving, their skin just well just okay,
Speaker 1: just because let's say I make it. I'm wearing a sweater. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's I'm wearing this dress and I want it to
Speaker 1: be tighter, right, and I pull it all the way back,
Speaker 1: and I make it so tight because I pull this back.
Speaker 1: When I let it go, it's going to be looser
Speaker 1: because I made it tighter. So unless you can make
Speaker 1: your skin like this and hold it like that, this
Speaker 1: is just even. This is making my skin looser. Okay,
Speaker 1: but is there science behind is? Like, well, you know
Speaker 1: what the science is? When you stretch your skin, it stretches.
Speaker 1: I don't think your list. You know how rocks are
Speaker 1: formed by by the beating against it. If I learned
Speaker 1: something in my chemistry class that I loved in high school,
Speaker 1: if I every time you touch a surface, you scratch
Speaker 1: off or you get atoms come off of this, right,
Speaker 1: now atoms are coming off of this. When I touch
Speaker 1: my computer, atoms are coming off of this that weren't
Speaker 1: there before of the computer just touching it. If I
Speaker 1: did this for a thousand years, it would wear it
Speaker 1: would wear away, I know. But each one ounce to something. Okay,
Speaker 1: So the one you just you know when people are like,
Speaker 1: who cares, I'm just gonna litter one thing. What if
Speaker 1: a thousand people did that? So I'm saying one stretch.
Speaker 1: What I've seen a sweater that one person stretches, I'll
Speaker 1: see that. That makes sense and it doesn't go back. Yeah,
Speaker 1: one hard stretch And I never stretched my face that
Speaker 1: much that the wind does that. What you fall for
Speaker 1: like at least a minute and a half. That's so
Speaker 1: long to stretch your face that way. No, can you
Speaker 1: google though, like people that jump out of a lot
Speaker 1: of planes doesn't affect their face. I'm just wondering. I
Speaker 1: think I'm sure that they're going to say it doesn't,
Speaker 1: because why would anyone do a study on that. I
Speaker 1: just know no one. I've never heard of anyone else
Speaker 1: thinking of this. It's just the thing I have. It's
Speaker 1: just a fear I have. Don't want to stretch out
Speaker 1: my face and then unless I can wear some kind
Speaker 1: of like helmet, I did it. I remember my face.
Speaker 1: I have video. I had video. I don't know where
Speaker 1: the video is. Dude, my face, I have a lot
Speaker 1: of skin on. Do you want me to read tell
Speaker 1: me all the time? Yes? Okay? Uh. Skydiving the new
Speaker 1: cure for wrinkles. Extensive testing conducted at Ghost Skydive. The
Speaker 1: UK's blah blah blah sky Diving centers that jumping from
Speaker 1: an altitude of fifteen th feet stimulates the skin to
Speaker 1: produce increased level of collagen, vitamin E, and other in
Speaker 1: suchual oils that reduced the signs of aging. Still not interested?
Speaker 1: You sign it up all of this like on the backpack,
Speaker 1: n n them. Yeah, I jumped out in my paper.
Speaker 1: My face was like dish like it looked like a
Speaker 1: fucking like a scrotum getting in a like behind a gigantic,
Speaker 1: fucking mechanical fan just and I fucking I remember flicking
Speaker 1: off the camera like I was cool, but like your
Speaker 1: face could not. Oh, it was disgusting. I was. I
Speaker 1: was disgusted. I went with Rusty actually back to Rusty,
Speaker 1: famous Rusty Man. I talked to Rusty today and I
Speaker 1: told him, yeah, this morning, I told him how he's
Speaker 1: like becoming kind of an urgent legend on our podcast,
Speaker 1: an urgent legend, an urgent legend legend yese Urgin and
Speaker 1: uh see no Urgin here. No. Anyways, he he sent
Speaker 1: me a photo he's with Kanye. When Kanye was on
Speaker 1: his uh first ever tour in Tallahassee, he met Kanye. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's a selfie with him. I have the photo now,
Speaker 1: but it's a very young Kanye, a little beginning Kanye,
Speaker 1: Tallahassee Kanye. So it was after the release of Dropout
Speaker 1: College drop Out. So it's a young Kanye, but it's
Speaker 1: a famous Kanye because Kanye got famous right away during
Speaker 1: Dropout because he was still doing like bar shows. I'm
Speaker 1: sure that they booked the tour before. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was one of where he's like like Olivia Rodrigo
Speaker 1: is doing like two thousand theaters on this tour and
Speaker 1: it's like she could do you know arenas John Mulaney,
Speaker 1: guess where he's playing in St. Louis. I want to
Speaker 1: go the Second Funny Bone. Yeah, in St. Charles. There's
Speaker 1: a picture of me on the wall there I'm very
Speaker 1: excited about it. Um, thank you of you. Yeah, it's cool.
Speaker 1: It's not in a thing, it's just a random photo
Speaker 1: of it's under the toilet. That's cool, though. People are
Speaker 1: like talking about it. Wait wait, wait, wait, where's playing
Speaker 1: the Enterprise Center a k. The place where we went
Speaker 1: to go see the hockey game. Whatever, We'll sell that,
Speaker 1: bitch out. No, I'm just like that would be so
Speaker 1: awesome to play that. Like the thing is the goal
Speaker 1: post always moves, there's no like, there's always some like
Speaker 1: you know some You're finally I'm going to get play
Speaker 1: medisone Square or something that I don't really care to play,
Speaker 1: to be honest with you. But then the next day
Speaker 1: someone would be like, and do you know that Ali
Speaker 1: Wong just sold out Space, Like, oh, that's so funny.
Speaker 1: I was really gonna go. Joe Rogan sold out Marsh Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like she just sold fourteen shows on the Apollo eight, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just sold out the Little Dipper. Oh you did
Speaker 1: the Little Dipper? Yeah, I just did the Sebastian is
Speaker 1: doing the Big Dipper and he's doing seventeen shows back
Speaker 1: to back. That Oh my god, that was so funny.
Speaker 1: How many shows, like three or four. Yeah, we're in
Speaker 1: Atlantic City. I was headed to my show and they
Speaker 1: were like, Sebastians here tonight too, And I'm like, oh god,
Speaker 1: I don't even want to hear, Like how big is places?
Speaker 1: And it was like how many seats was it? Like
Speaker 1: you know, mine was three thousand, his seventy. And they
Speaker 1: were like, yeah, he's doing he sold out a show
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, that's not that much bigger,
Speaker 1: and they're like, it's his fourteen sold out showing around.
Speaker 1: I was just like, okay, but in fairness, it's the
Speaker 1: same per and they're like, you also sold out. Maybe
Speaker 1: if you sold out more fired against Sebastian, don't dude,
Speaker 1: I'll go there. I love Sebastian. Yeah, he actually he's entertaining. Man.
Speaker 1: It's so weird that I first met him at the
Speaker 1: Funny Bone and Fucking Kentucky, the Cincinnati Funny Bone in Kentucky.
Speaker 1: I was featuring, yeah, and I was, and he was headlining,
Speaker 1: and he was just like he was so nice. But
Speaker 1: I remember my I was at a comedy condo there
Speaker 1: and it had flooded and it smelled like mildew, like
Speaker 1: it had flooded the day before I got there and
Speaker 1: I got locked down and I had to break in
Speaker 1: through like a window in the basement to even get
Speaker 1: into this fucking condo. And then I get in, it's
Speaker 1: the mold smells. Just it's so bad that I had
Speaker 1: to go stay with a friend because at that point
Speaker 1: I wasn't gonna be like put me up in a houtel.
Speaker 1: They would have been like no, I would have been
Speaker 1: fine staying another night. I know, fine Stein, and I
Speaker 1: would have been fine Stein. And so what did he do?
Speaker 1: I just remember he was very sweet about like he
Speaker 1: was just like, oh man, that fuck, it sucks, and
Speaker 1: like we were just he I just remember just chilling
Speaker 1: in the back and him being so nice, um and
Speaker 1: just thinking this guy is like I was kind of
Speaker 1: nervous to meet him, not because he was like a
Speaker 1: big deal at that point, but because he just seemed
Speaker 1: like a guy like based on an act, he just
Speaker 1: seems like very intimidating, I guess, but he was just
Speaker 1: so sweet and he always writes handwritten cards to people,
Speaker 1: like I remember when he did our Serious show, he
Speaker 1: wrote me like a thank you card, even after he
Speaker 1: was like super famous. I mean, he's just a fucking that.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that it's calculated on his car shots fired.
Speaker 1: It's thank you cards are calculated. They are, all of
Speaker 1: them are doing it. But there's a part of it
Speaker 1: that's like, now, you can't be mad at me. Women
Speaker 1: who like constantly are like, I gotta get them a
Speaker 1: thank you gift. I have to do this. I'm just
Speaker 1: like you, stop worrying about everyone being mad at you.
Speaker 1: Don't have to thank you for a thank you or
Speaker 1: thank you. It's like, I feel like women more than
Speaker 1: anyone else, especially in the Midwest, are obsessed with making
Speaker 1: sure other women like them and like don't have one
Speaker 1: up on them. Well, I got her that, so she
Speaker 1: can't say that I didn't try. Like, can we just
Speaker 1: just why do you person? Also, you know what else?
Speaker 1: I think we gotta go to break. Let's hear it.
Speaker 1: When I get back in Columbines. What do you think, Andrew? Oh,
Speaker 1: we're back. I know you guys are on the edge
Speaker 1: of your pussies. Uh so I want to say that
Speaker 1: what was I thinking were talking about? Oh? Yeah, if
Speaker 1: I had a wedding right, and then I had a
Speaker 1: great honeymoon and then right when I get back, I
Speaker 1: gotta send three. Your wife does, your wife does? Men
Speaker 1: don't do it. But yes, I understand if you were
Speaker 1: a woman. Yeah I was. Women live in a constant
Speaker 1: state of they're gonna be mad at me. They're gonna
Speaker 1: think this about me, and I don't call them that anymore,
Speaker 1: and maybe people like I bet I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: always come off great to people because I'm not overly
Speaker 1: like trying to manage how people. I just want things
Speaker 1: to be sincere, like I'll thank you if i've in
Speaker 1: the moment, if I'm grateful or like, but or I'll
Speaker 1: send an email or else, you know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just think doing things so that someone else isn't
Speaker 1: mad at you is not the reason to do anything,
Speaker 1: because they shouldn't be mad at you if your intention
Speaker 1: is always good. If they're mad at you, that's their ship.
Speaker 1: Because if I don't send a thank you card because
Speaker 1: I thank you profusely when I got the present, gave
Speaker 1: you a hug when I left, and was enthusiastic about it,
Speaker 1: and next time I see you, I'm going to tell
Speaker 1: you how much I liked it. If you're mad at
Speaker 1: me because I didn't send you a fucking card. That's
Speaker 1: on you, bitch. And you know what I do is
Speaker 1: I don't even get them a present because then they
Speaker 1: don't even have to worry about sending me because there's
Speaker 1: nothing to thank you. I gave someone twenty bucks cash
Speaker 1: for a wedding. You have a year, huh, you have
Speaker 1: a year to give him more. That's all present. That's
Speaker 1: all you gets cash the rich um. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: I just hate obligations or things that are just like
Speaker 1: that's just tradition, that's just the way the college shirt.
Speaker 1: I don't like the way it's done. Yeah. Things we
Speaker 1: went to play golf. We went to go Me and
Speaker 1: Robin went to go meet you to play golf on
Speaker 1: the actual course. But yes, and we show up and
Speaker 1: no one's told me to bring a college shirt. Robin
Speaker 1: claims that she knew we had to wear a college shirt.
Speaker 1: I'm like, then, bitch, why didn't you tell me to
Speaker 1: wear what? First of all, that bitch wore no collared
Speaker 1: shirt and got to hit balls last time. Yeah, when
Speaker 1: she went with you alone, So we get stopped immediately
Speaker 1: like you can't, you can't. And that's that was my
Speaker 1: boy there. And it was pretty annoying that I hadn't like.
Speaker 1: I was like, come on, dude, it's not big. Was
Speaker 1: really He's really stuck to it, And I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't what the fund is this? What am I
Speaker 1: just money to you, you fucking asshole. So anyway, boys
Speaker 1: says we can't play because we don't have colored shirts,
Speaker 1: which I it infuriates me because this golf course is
Speaker 1: not that nice. By the way. What it isn't it
Speaker 1: has patchy grass, there's no like I've seen a lot
Speaker 1: of golf courses. This is like top even for Cabo.
Speaker 1: Your this is Robin coming out of you. She addicted
Speaker 1: to Pomia. I played no. Robin said it was nice.
Speaker 1: I didn't not know. Robin said it was shitty compared
Speaker 1: to Pomia. Um, whatever point, Bean is it's a nice course.
Speaker 1: It really is. It really is. Well, it didn't strike
Speaker 1: me that way. There was just dust everywhere. It was
Speaker 1: not even clear where the entrance was. I had to
Speaker 1: walk around like a I did. I'm not kidding you,
Speaker 1: but we're literally getting golf balls over a cliff, looking
Speaker 1: at whale swimming. Like just because it has a nice
Speaker 1: location doesn't mean it's nice itself. I know, but I'm
Speaker 1: telling you, it's not anyways, point being, I will just
Speaker 1: say I've been to the golf courses with you, and
Speaker 1: there's not that much patchy grass. There's usually tease, there's
Speaker 1: like designated greens. This was just all just one swath
Speaker 1: of grass that had no designated like space for like
Speaker 1: this is where I drive, this is where I drive.
Speaker 1: There's no like, there's no um. But that's how it
Speaker 1: is in nicer clubs. There's no like set boxes. That's
Speaker 1: more of a public thing. Okay, alright, well it's like
Speaker 1: eating that out back. And it's like a colored shirt
Speaker 1: is the most elitist, dumb bullshit. Does it help you
Speaker 1: play the game more? I understand if that's a reason
Speaker 1: for it, um, of course not. Or colored shirts a
Speaker 1: thing that men typically own and women don't as much. Yes,
Speaker 1: it is a it's a it's it's sexist and it's
Speaker 1: make and I have to now go. Andrew's like I'll
Speaker 1: buy you a shirt. I'm like I would, fucking I will.
Speaker 1: I burned that shirt. I don't want anything to do
Speaker 1: with this place. I hate this place. It's just it's
Speaker 1: about let's get white. It's white men. It's just like
Speaker 1: we are rich men. And if you don't have a
Speaker 1: because collar shirt equals rich for some reason to these
Speaker 1: fucking idiots. It's so it infuriates me. Why is it
Speaker 1: different than like a hockey jersey or like, because if
Speaker 1: I go to the fucking rink, they're not like you
Speaker 1: gotta put on a basketball shirt or you have to
Speaker 1: put on a hockey jersey to play. I'm a normal
Speaker 1: person who wants to swing a club at their place
Speaker 1: and pay to do it. And because I don't have
Speaker 1: a typical a certain shirt on the same Now that
Speaker 1: happened to me. I same club. I went there, but
Speaker 1: I was wearing like a like a workout shirt, but
Speaker 1: like a Nike workout shirt, which by the way, a
Speaker 1: lot of guys on tour now wear shirts that are
Speaker 1: in college. So it's like, what are we doing here? This?
Speaker 1: I get it. I hate tradition to I fucking you
Speaker 1: have to wear like there's some places where you gotta
Speaker 1: wear all white to play. Tradition of white people are
Speaker 1: better than black. It's it's a tradition that is based
Speaker 1: on when black people couldn't go to country clubs. I
Speaker 1: guarantee you it's one of those leftover rules that's like
Speaker 1: if we hold onto this, they won't take it from us.
Speaker 1: It's so it's just laced with racism and misogyny. I
Speaker 1: don't like it. And it just like it felt like,
Speaker 1: I don't you know, it felt like one of those
Speaker 1: pretty woman moments of like, oh, big mistake, huge, I
Speaker 1: would have spent fifty it's all for five minutes. Like
Speaker 1: it just felt like I just it angers me so much.
Speaker 1: And I understand, like sometimes you go to a restaurant,
Speaker 1: they're like you need to wear a sport jacket. Okay,
Speaker 1: a restaurant they're they're making gourmet I get. I hate
Speaker 1: that shipped too. I went to that place Louie. I
Speaker 1: refused to go back to Louis and St. Louis because
Speaker 1: and if I do go there, I've been there once
Speaker 1: since I was so upset about it. But I made
Speaker 1: a big scene of it. The fucking waiter has to
Speaker 1: come over and read the board to us and tell
Speaker 1: us every little ingredient. It's all this pomp of like
Speaker 1: and this forcus, for this, and it's just like, wait,
Speaker 1: we're just Americans who like to eat slop. Where I
Speaker 1: was digging hamas container with my finger three hours ago,
Speaker 1: you don't have to treat me like I'm the Queen
Speaker 1: of England. This is all so rich people can feel rich,
Speaker 1: and I don't like it. I got you, I got you,
Speaker 1: But you also don't want there without it coming like
Speaker 1: I don't think it's racist, but you also don't want
Speaker 1: like people in jeans and T shirts playing golf. It's
Speaker 1: just a look that just it's not like athletic. You
Speaker 1: just want but you's got to be some kind of
Speaker 1: But here's the thing. Than raise your prices and people
Speaker 1: who care enough to stick to dress up for it.
Speaker 1: We'll dress that way. But I also do want it
Speaker 1: to be I do think that golf is still very
Speaker 1: much a rich person's sport, and I do want it
Speaker 1: to be more open, like if I did have like
Speaker 1: an people who like golf first, people who like basketball,
Speaker 1: like basketball is such a cool sport, inclusive, but you
Speaker 1: still have to wear basketball clothes while you play basketball.
Speaker 1: The idea kick you off a court for wearing jeans
Speaker 1: if you go to and but colored shirts don't make
Speaker 1: you play better. Andrew, No, I understand that I'm just saying.
Speaker 1: There's I'm saying with golf because it's not as athletic
Speaker 1: and whatever. You could get away with wearing jeans and
Speaker 1: a fucking I don't know, being able to play golf
Speaker 1: and play golf, you should be able to look people
Speaker 1: are wearing. You have to dress like a fucking dork
Speaker 1: to play golf. It doesn't make sense. Like why it's
Speaker 1: interesting is people wear Jordan's now that we're turned into
Speaker 1: golf shoes, talk about like a full like one of
Speaker 1: like so now that's fine, we could we could do
Speaker 1: that with rich shoes, you know, I don't know, I know,
Speaker 1: I'm sure that people who are you know, who aren't
Speaker 1: white girls experienced so much more of this stuff everywhere
Speaker 1: they go where they're just like that's slightly just made
Speaker 1: to keep me out that I don't even notice. But
Speaker 1: this one was very egregious to me. And I'm not
Speaker 1: standing up for like myself as much as like this
Speaker 1: is overall a racial thing, I think, and I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to like say that I'm like the most woke
Speaker 1: fucking person, but there's just a tinge of like it's
Speaker 1: not it's it's about rich, and rich to me equals race,
Speaker 1: like back in the day, you know, just anything that
Speaker 1: rich people get treated like better than everyone else in
Speaker 1: terms of like even I hate when I go to
Speaker 1: like the Ritz Carlton and like people come up and
Speaker 1: are like, ma'am, like your perier and they like show
Speaker 1: it to you or they have like a special way
Speaker 1: of opening it. It's just like I don't need all
Speaker 1: of this. I get people like luxury, I guess, but
Speaker 1: I just find that so much of it is there's
Speaker 1: no purpose for it, you know, tasting one. People that
Speaker 1: swirl around their fucking wine before they say, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: these fucking jabronies who pick out a wine on the
Speaker 1: one day they go out for Valentine's and they order
Speaker 1: a wine, you know, three from the top, so that
Speaker 1: it's like a three from the bottom, free from the bottom.
Speaker 1: That's the smart unless there's only three. But then they
Speaker 1: swirl it around and taste it like there's any way
Speaker 1: they would fucking know if it wasn't good or not
Speaker 1: test where it's a bad wine like it's which all
Speaker 1: by the way, all wine is disgusting. No one really
Speaker 1: likes taste. I'm a pretentious asshole. Yeah, but like would
Speaker 1: you like to give people who are doing that little
Speaker 1: first test just some bad wines? Yeah? And just yeah,
Speaker 1: and then but it's at the top. You just fill
Speaker 1: up a bottle with dog pists and then they go,
Speaker 1: oh what is this and they go yeah, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: off more and they signed for please more. It's all
Speaker 1: just made so people can feel, you know, even flying
Speaker 1: first class, it's you just go, I don't need this,
Speaker 1: like it feels good, though I'm not gonna lie like
Speaker 1: I got to lay down on that one flight down
Speaker 1: is different because that is actually a thing that feels good.
Speaker 1: Someone handing some laying down, we're calling you ma'am. All
Speaker 1: those things. I mean, there's some there's just things about
Speaker 1: etiquette for rich people that's based on plantation style servantry
Speaker 1: and like the way slaves used to have to talk
Speaker 1: to their plantation owner. That's carried over so white people
Speaker 1: can rich white people can still feel a little bit
Speaker 1: better than the rest of people. Yeah, it's entitled fucking
Speaker 1: unaware motherfucker's I get that, And I'm not I'm not
Speaker 1: like completely going, oh, we need collared shirts. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying that. I'm just saying that, Like, but it's so
Speaker 1: rare you encounter something that dumb. Yeah, I mean, you're
Speaker 1: not gonna wear Sandler wearing a collar shirt to go play.
Speaker 1: He'll probably throw on some shitty collar shirt just to
Speaker 1: show that he's an all American guy worth nine billion dollars.
Speaker 1: Let's get to the news. It was so mad, it
Speaker 1: was great. First, Oh boy, it's Monday. You know what
Speaker 1: that means, folks, it's monday. I hope you're having all
Speaker 1: the swells there we are. We're both in college shirts.
Speaker 1: Or maybe we're not. Check out our YouTube page to
Speaker 1: see and find out. Huh oh yeah at the beginning, yeah,
Speaker 1: war war drip, um, So what I don't know. Sometimes
Speaker 1: sometimes you give me a pensive look, like I can't
Speaker 1: believe I've let this person in my life. No, that
Speaker 1: wasn't a look like that. I was just looking at you,
Speaker 1: waiting for you to do the news, and I forgot
Speaker 1: we stole that job for you. Oh, by the way,
Speaker 1: can I just because I've gotten messages, did not steal
Speaker 1: your job. You didn't give you weren't like Andrew. You
Speaker 1: can't read that well even though you've said it. But
Speaker 1: this wasn't the reason why Noah got the job. People
Speaker 1: think that you took the job from me. People are like,
Speaker 1: I can't believe you don't do the news anymore. It's like, no,
Speaker 1: I don't want to see people are telling me paying
Speaker 1: cub taking the job. I'm sure, um, but we we
Speaker 1: gave it to know because you looked down too much
Speaker 1: and because we want to include no one, no more,
Speaker 1: and we like I like having us have both the
Speaker 1: reactions to the story. I think it works, Betters. Changed.
Speaker 1: Sometimes people hate change. Did you realize when you first
Speaker 1: listen to the show you had no idea what was
Speaker 1: going to happen? Things that change from the show? Um,
Speaker 1: whenever things change in life and people go I wandered
Speaker 1: back the way it was. The way it was was
Speaker 1: new to you at one point. Collared shirts were new
Speaker 1: to you at one point where you go, oh, I
Speaker 1: gotta were Okay, that was a new novel thing. And
Speaker 1: if we go away from that, get used to that
Speaker 1: new thing too. When I go on shows, I always
Speaker 1: say this whenever I go on shows and people don't know,
Speaker 1: like I'm on to show that is too famous for
Speaker 1: me or something? People go, who is this? Who is
Speaker 1: this girl that's just meeting a sandwich? Right? Who's this guy?
Speaker 1: Did you know? Who? Did? Were you born knowing who
Speaker 1: Tom Hanks was? Did you come out there was a
Speaker 1: moment where Tom Hanks was a who is this guy?
Speaker 1: I gotta be you gotta learn who people are? Stop that?
Speaker 1: Who is this ship? It's so weird. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm angry to that. Okay, no, no, it's funny. Angry though, alright,
Speaker 1: angry angry. A Florida man, no boy in a porta
Speaker 1: potti gets crushed to death by a bulldozer. Oh year
Speaker 1: old man was killed on the job site. The bulldozer
Speaker 1: operator had been driving his rig up an embankment at
Speaker 1: the time, but his view was partially blocked by the
Speaker 1: machineries elevated blade. The freak accident happened as employees were
Speaker 1: putting away equipment preparing for the end of the day. Oh,
Speaker 1: he just finished the day. He was probably like, can
Speaker 1: I hold it until I get home? Now, just go
Speaker 1: real quick and take a quick piss. And so it
Speaker 1: ran over it or like the the bulldozer hit the
Speaker 1: porta potty and crushed it, and the operator didn't know
Speaker 1: that it was in the way. So when he came
Speaker 1: out to check if anyone was in there, he found
Speaker 1: his coworker. So when he sashed it and he goes,
Speaker 1: I hope no one was he goes over to open it.
Speaker 1: You know how hard that would be to walk over
Speaker 1: Like you've ever done something and you're like, god, I
Speaker 1: hope something this. When I pull it back, it's not
Speaker 1: going to be something, and it just, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I wonder who's I guess he's at fault. I hope
Speaker 1: he doesn't. I don't know. That sounds like an accident
Speaker 1: for sure. Yeah, but accidents are still can you even like, Okay,
Speaker 1: would you rather die from a great white are? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I was thinking. I really was thinking the same thing
Speaker 1: because I was thinking how much we give because this
Speaker 1: story is so hilarious just a line, Yeah, great white
Speaker 1: Shark also kind of funny too, But but it's hard
Speaker 1: to get like Florida man crushed by bulldozer in like
Speaker 1: it's just like it's yeah, it's like you getting a
Speaker 1: d u I on a jet ski. It's like a
Speaker 1: bunch of Florida things together exactly. Um, would I'd rather
Speaker 1: get dieing? And I think I honestly, I think I'd
Speaker 1: rather get crushed by a bulldozer. Wow, See I'd rather shark. No,
Speaker 1: what would you rather? Probably a shark? Just because I've
Speaker 1: never been in a porta potty that doesn't smell it crap. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would hate to die it. Like just the first
Speaker 1: thought if you're getting crushed would be like I don't
Speaker 1: want the size of this touching me. Oh no, they're
Speaker 1: touching me too much, you know what I mean? Like
Speaker 1: it would give all over me while I die. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But like also being rush to death is just sounds
Speaker 1: like the worst death. I feel like you die quicker
Speaker 1: in a shark bite. I mean, it's cooler to probably
Speaker 1: die by a great White, but a bulldozer is kind
Speaker 1: of a great White of vehicle. My god. I just
Speaker 1: do you ever realize you have to die someday and
Speaker 1: you just go fuck? Sometimes? I've been having that thought
Speaker 1: a lot. I think getting a little bit older, I'm
Speaker 1: turning into like the way you were, not exactly, but
Speaker 1: like I just start thinking about Like the other day
Speaker 1: I was googling some sort of thing to be like,
Speaker 1: what are the first signs of it? Like that you
Speaker 1: forgetting what you googled, that's a good point you're dead.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to say what I googled because I
Speaker 1: just don't want to scare other people. What you know,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to my biggest biggest fear is getting
Speaker 1: a l S or Huntington's disease or one of those
Speaker 1: ones that I mean, And honestly, it's not my biggest
Speaker 1: fear because if I did, I would have a plan
Speaker 1: to go like uthanize myself, or I would I would
Speaker 1: absolutely kill myself before it got too bad, even like Alzheimer's.
Speaker 1: But the thing about Alzheimer's, it starts to take your
Speaker 1: mind before you can get the plant. Like as soon
Speaker 1: as you'd want to enact the plan, you forget that
Speaker 1: you had a plan. So that's when you got to
Speaker 1: tell other people, Hey, will you do this for me? Um?
Speaker 1: It's awful. If you've ever lost anyone to any of
Speaker 1: those things, I'm so fucking sorry, But you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: sometimes I just I've been looking up grim stuff lately.
Speaker 1: Can I just tell to everyone right now? Safety measure
Speaker 1: if you're ever no porter potties are safe. I think
Speaker 1: this is not something I read about often. If you
Speaker 1: ever are bi as seascape and you want to take
Speaker 1: pictures on on rocks, just know that even if you've
Speaker 1: been looking at those rocks prior to going over waves,
Speaker 1: A lot of times don't like big enough waves that
Speaker 1: would like pull you into the ocean only strike sometimes
Speaker 1: once an hour or something, so you don't know what
Speaker 1: those waves are capable of doing out there. A big
Speaker 1: ship couldn't. I don't really know how the ocean works,
Speaker 1: but I just know that so many people get swept
Speaker 1: to their death on those rocks trying to get a picture.
Speaker 1: Those ledge heads out there, please watch out. And I
Speaker 1: always think, well, i'd be a good swimmer if I
Speaker 1: got tucked in notion, the thing that happens is you
Speaker 1: get knocked unconscious when you fall, and then you you're
Speaker 1: no swimming, and then you just drown. And so just
Speaker 1: be careful, just air on the side of taking it
Speaker 1: very far away, because you don't know. Even if the
Speaker 1: waves look so safe on our YouTube, write caution and
Speaker 1: then whatever you just said, like all of it together.
Speaker 1: I just would love to see that, like like not
Speaker 1: like close cap I want to see that like warning, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I don't want to see that. I don't
Speaker 1: want to see Do you ever see your captioned out
Speaker 1: thing and you realize how many ums and likes and
Speaker 1: just bullshit sentences you start and then interrupt my whole
Speaker 1: fucking reason to Sam Harrison realized he never says um
Speaker 1: and never says like, and it's so just he talks
Speaker 1: in a way that uses the best words and he
Speaker 1: never I'm gonna try to go the rest of the
Speaker 1: podcast without using any false started sentences. You're gonna talk
Speaker 1: way slower. I mean, that's the other thing. We don't
Speaker 1: talk slow. We're very quick off our feet, so maybe
Speaker 1: talking slower would be advantageous to me. Who knows. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's get to the next story. I'm so r I
Speaker 1: p to that man. By the way, can I just
Speaker 1: say one more thing about this dying thing. If you're eighty,
Speaker 1: I hate when people go, oh, they were eighty five,
Speaker 1: you know they was they were Do you know imagine
Speaker 1: being an eighty five year old and being like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I know I'm ebee five, but I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna fuck it. I'm just not ready to die just
Speaker 1: because I'm maybe, you know, we always like, go, oh
Speaker 1: they were there ninety it was their time. Yeah. When
Speaker 1: people's grandmothers die, I'm always like, I'm sorry, But if
Speaker 1: it was their mom, I'm like no, because of youth,
Speaker 1: more so than at the other day, because I was like,
Speaker 1: right now, I think about my Grandma being a hundred,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, she was a hundred though,
Speaker 1: you know that's fine. She wasn't like sweet. I'm telling
Speaker 1: you read that book called on Living by Carrie Egan.
Speaker 1: It talks a lot about people at the end of
Speaker 1: their life and how they I don't want to a
Speaker 1: lot of them don't want to die, and a lot
Speaker 1: of them are ready to die. I find I feel
Speaker 1: like I've heard some being taken or whatever you're feeling.
Speaker 1: I'm trying. I'm just talking. Yeah, it was the same
Speaker 1: sound that someone makes when they see their porter body
Speaker 1: being crushed slowly around that. I don't know if you
Speaker 1: see that. What's your false starter? Yours is like, um,
Speaker 1: would you say mine is? To restart the sentence, and
Speaker 1: also like okay, and Andrew would believe our minds probably
Speaker 1: likes I probably say like a decent amount. I always
Speaker 1: say okay. And I noticed every time I edit the podcast,
Speaker 1: whenever I read fan tracks or something, I would start
Speaker 1: with okay. Yeah I hear that too, But I think
Speaker 1: that okay is okay. And that's scenario because you are
Speaker 1: responding to me saying next one and you go okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what I was thinking maybe maybe our fans will
Speaker 1: let us know. But I also don't want to think
Speaker 1: about my speech. Okay, next story, Okay, okay, okay. So
Speaker 1: a woman shared on TikTok her doorbell camera capturing a
Speaker 1: real estate agent showing her home that isn't for sale.
Speaker 1: Uh through Okay. She shows the man ringing her doorbell.
Speaker 1: Once the client arrived, he went to the back door
Speaker 1: and she set off the house alarm. He then appeared
Speaker 1: to open the front door. The homeowners that after, you know,
Speaker 1: she called the cops and stuff. I don't believe that
Speaker 1: they were casing my house or trying to sell my
Speaker 1: house from under me. He did seem sincere. She also
Speaker 1: revealed that the agent explained that it was an accident
Speaker 1: and he was supposed to be showing the home next door. Um.
Speaker 1: And he added that the neighbor told him to go
Speaker 1: through the back door. Oh yeah, this is a classic
Speaker 1: just wrong house. Yeah. I mean he did sell it.
Speaker 1: Thank god. It wasn't a hit man. It was a
Speaker 1: real estate agent. I thought about selling my brother's Hampton's
Speaker 1: house when I was out there, just being like, don't
Speaker 1: tell anyone, just sell it in cash, Like wouldn't that
Speaker 1: be great because he wasn't he trying to sell it
Speaker 1: at the time of like a few months later, right
Speaker 1: like he goes to seal it. He's like, no, actually
Speaker 1: I would. My mom would be so horrified if someone
Speaker 1: walked into her house when she wasn't ready and was
Speaker 1: accidentally selling it, because not because the person would have
Speaker 1: you walked into her house, but because it wouldn't have
Speaker 1: looked It would have looked like, oh my god, you
Speaker 1: thought I was trying to sell this house with the
Speaker 1: shape that it's in. It's never happened to you where
Speaker 1: someone thinks something about you and you go, you think
Speaker 1: I would wear this too? Like when I met Larry
Speaker 1: David for the first time, or almost did. We walked
Speaker 1: backstage at the Bill Marshaw in Hawaii and I got
Speaker 1: there late because I was whale watching with Chris And
Speaker 1: we got there to the theater late and I was
Speaker 1: in whale watching attire just like shorts and like wet hair,
Speaker 1: and I hadn't had time to I was gonna get
Speaker 1: done up in my makeup room and Bill was like
Speaker 1: escorting me to go meet Larry and I'm like, no, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no no, because he's I think I said this
Speaker 1: on the podcage. He's going to think that this is
Speaker 1: what I wore to the show. Even seeing Bill, I
Speaker 1: was like as soon as I say Bill, but I'm like,
Speaker 1: I hope you don't think this is what I think
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wear tonight on stage. Like I but the
Speaker 1: idea that someone might think that about you accidentally? Has
Speaker 1: that ever happened? That's happened to me so many times,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you or they go, oh my god, Nickie,
Speaker 1: I thought you were saying this. I like you thought
Speaker 1: I would ever say something like that? What do you
Speaker 1: think of me? Here's the thing what I usually learned
Speaker 1: in that moment is that all these fucking all that
Speaker 1: ship that I built up in my head, like oh,
Speaker 1: he's gonna see the me wearing this, or she's gonna
Speaker 1: the reaction you get from that person is usually almost
Speaker 1: the opposite of whatever Larry Day would price see that
Speaker 1: be like kind of respect the fact that she's just
Speaker 1: wearing this everyday thing. Like I have to say, as
Speaker 1: a woman who judges people a lot for like things
Speaker 1: like that, if if someone if a girl came to
Speaker 1: a show and was dressed like that at a theater
Speaker 1: show where she wasn't the main event, and she's opening
Speaker 1: for someone who's wearing a suit. I would go, what
Speaker 1: then is she doing? And I know Bill maher at
Speaker 1: first I saw his face and he was just like
Speaker 1: and I go, built, don't worry, I'm not. I get that.
Speaker 1: That's like a I understand that. It is different than
Speaker 1: the colored shirt. Um, shot fired, say I feel like
Speaker 1: shots were fired. But I will say, I'm only doing
Speaker 1: this because you like it. It's it's it's it's great.
Speaker 1: I love debate. I would are you kidding me? I
Speaker 1: think is a great debate? Um, okay, So this is
Speaker 1: different because this when you dress up for people are
Speaker 1: paying seventy dollars to a hundred and something dollars for
Speaker 1: a ticket. It was New Year's Eve. Play that golf course.
Speaker 1: This was a driving range I'm talking about. I understand
Speaker 1: I would maybe have a little bit more leniency if
Speaker 1: it was on the course. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: my performance interrupt No, no, when you were perform I
Speaker 1: find that obviously. But this here's the difference. This is
Speaker 1: not required my office. I could wear whatever I want.
Speaker 1: Bill would not yell about it. The theater would say,
Speaker 1: you you look though a look that said, Hey, what
Speaker 1: the funk are you thinking? I'm saying that if I
Speaker 1: wore jeans on a golf course, you can give me
Speaker 1: all the looks you want, but I should still be
Speaker 1: able to play on the golf course. I shouldn't be
Speaker 1: barred from playing on it. Adam Sandler or John Caparulo
Speaker 1: can wear T shirts on stage with sweatpants or whatever
Speaker 1: the hell they what. You can wear Lulu Lemons to
Speaker 1: a theater show, and are you gonna get booked again
Speaker 1: by Bill Maher if you show up in fucking sweatpants
Speaker 1: and a tank top with no makeup, that's up to him.
Speaker 1: That's not a club rule. That's a but. That's like
Speaker 1: a yes. But it's like a rule that's understood that
Speaker 1: you don't dress shitty when other people are going to
Speaker 1: be wearing suits. A collared shirt, A collared shirt doesn't.
Speaker 1: I can understand a collar. I didn't look shitty because
Speaker 1: of my shirt. I look shitty because of everything else
Speaker 1: I was wearing. I can understand if they're like, you're
Speaker 1: dressed kind of like a it's just like we were.
Speaker 1: I just got a vision of you can show up
Speaker 1: the golf course. No, just a collared shirt and no
Speaker 1: pants and no underwear and be like, is this what
Speaker 1: you great prank? Do it before you leave? I will
Speaker 1: say that I just think that it's showing. It's showing.
Speaker 1: I guess it is kind of similar in showing respects
Speaker 1: to the step, to the people that are playing around you.
Speaker 1: But I just have to say that I could go
Speaker 1: on stage in anything and people would still like it
Speaker 1: because it's comedy. But I it's because I want to.
Speaker 1: But would you argue though, that to be dressed up
Speaker 1: to perform was essentially at the beginning of performing a
Speaker 1: way to keep out poor people from performing, Like the
Speaker 1: idea of like putting on fancy clothes to perform for
Speaker 1: other rich people, you know what I mean, Like that
Speaker 1: could afford a ticket that's seventy So it's kind of
Speaker 1: I mean, it's not completely different. I mean money itself
Speaker 1: is meant to keep out poor people. I know, That's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So like, at what point does it
Speaker 1: Like the whole college shirt, that's just the idea for
Speaker 1: every fucking thing that we deal with in America, and
Speaker 1: like how things are set up based off history, and
Speaker 1: like what you could was that golf so much because
Speaker 1: it's white men. Yeah, and I and I like white men, clearly,
Speaker 1: I've dated many of them. It's just there's something and
Speaker 1: that's what. See, we're not Obama. Um, let's go to
Speaker 1: break it. Come back with why do I care? But
Speaker 1: that was a good point, Noah, and I will say
Speaker 1: that it's I might be a hypocrite here. I like
Speaker 1: when Noah goes after you and you know what, her
Speaker 1: jobs on the line. Now, her job is on the line. No, no,
Speaker 1: well okay, it's back. Now what you got your job back?
Speaker 1: I think a quick break and come back with why
Speaker 1: do I care? Why do we care? Why do I care?
Speaker 1: All right? Now, all right, let's see if you care
Speaker 1: about this. Oh, you're definitely gonna care about this. I think. Uh.
Speaker 1: The Bachelor contestant Daria Rose spent four thousand, four hundred
Speaker 1: dollars on wardrobe, only to be eliminated on night one.
Speaker 1: MM Is she asking for a conversation. She's just pointing out,
Speaker 1: you know, she bought a bunch of outfits to try
Speaker 1: to highlight all these different designers, hoping she'd make it
Speaker 1: on the show. She also says she blew through eight
Speaker 1: hundred dollars on recommended packing items like some random tops,
Speaker 1: Jeanes f leisure and pajamas, as well as hairs and makeup,
Speaker 1: which told her about a thousand dollars in itself. I
Speaker 1: I I love that she is saying this, because, Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is the price of being a woman on TV.
Speaker 1: And if you have to dress yourself for these things.
Speaker 1: I was astonished when I went on The Bachelorette as
Speaker 1: just a a guest of the guests celebrity guest. I
Speaker 1: was a guest of Amy Schumer's on one episode, and
Speaker 1: I the first thing I asked them was do the
Speaker 1: women dress themselves? Do they have a wardrobe? Do they
Speaker 1: do their hair and makeup? Unless you're the lead, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're dressing yourself. You're bringing all your own things, which
Speaker 1: a minimum, it's gonna be six grand to get a
Speaker 1: whole new wardrobe of crisp looking things. No one is
Speaker 1: dressed poorly on the Bachelorette. And you got to wear
Speaker 1: always cute little tiny tops, and you need to you
Speaker 1: always have to wear something different. Um. If I had
Speaker 1: to buy my own wardrobe on this on this Perfect
Speaker 1: Strangers too, I mean I wouldn't do the gig. It
Speaker 1: would mean it would be ridiculous. Yeah, I got to
Speaker 1: be a stipend for these people. There needs to be
Speaker 1: even perfect. They'll say, then, don't do the show. We'll
Speaker 1: just get someone whose dad will give them five thousand
Speaker 1: dollars to come on the show. There's always someone who
Speaker 1: will do it for cheaper. That's the problem with like,
Speaker 1: that's why things. That's why I think we need unions
Speaker 1: is because otherwise someone will always undercut. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess, but this goes back. I mean it still
Speaker 1: keeps going back to the collar shirt. Like a certain
Speaker 1: amount of money, Like you're going to look better if
Speaker 1: you have more money, you have more acts, fucking things,
Speaker 1: You're possibly gonna win the show more because or because
Speaker 1: you have more money and you look cute and you
Speaker 1: know how to do your makeup better because you have
Speaker 1: better products. And yeah, it comes down to you. If
Speaker 1: you're a hot girl or a hot guy, you wear
Speaker 1: the same thing every fucking day, they won't let you
Speaker 1: on the show. They wouldn't do it. They would then go, Okay,
Speaker 1: well we need to go get her something and they
Speaker 1: would throw you in something from last season that someone
Speaker 1: that you you've been on perfect Strangers to you are
Speaker 1: not repeating outfits and we know what I say, Why
Speaker 1: can't I wear the same boots twice? Yes? I wear
Speaker 1: the same shoes a lot on Perfect Strangers too, because
Speaker 1: I don't have a lot of shots with my feet
Speaker 1: in it, because you know they're doing the Lord's work here.
Speaker 1: They know what they're doing film and so um. But yeah,
Speaker 1: it's you just but Kate Middleton often wears the same
Speaker 1: things over and over like Normal Girls where I just
Speaker 1: read that h and m uh it had like there's
Speaker 1: some astronomical number of items that they made last year
Speaker 1: to buy. It was something like three point five million
Speaker 1: or something insane, and they're now trying to be like
Speaker 1: doing ethical fashion, but they're really on point to double thill.
Speaker 1: It's like, no, no, but what do you mean they
Speaker 1: bought the same there. They did a thing where if
Speaker 1: you turn in your jeans, they're gonna like remake them
Speaker 1: into other genes and it was just bullshit. It's all.
Speaker 1: It's called what is it called when companies pretend to
Speaker 1: be eco friendly because it's a trend, it's called greenwashing. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It where you'll put green on a packaging or yeah,
Speaker 1: they'll just say it's like they'll put like a little
Speaker 1: bunny that's smiling and you're like, oh, this must like
Speaker 1: they must pet bunnies to make this. For every thirty
Speaker 1: grand you spend at Gucci, we're gonna give a Snickers
Speaker 1: bar to a person in Africa. Yeah, it's like what,
Speaker 1: how does that even connect? It's it's and you know what,
Speaker 1: African children don't want to wear any more Tom's shoes.
Speaker 1: Stop buying those, pretending like you're helping them. There are
Speaker 1: some companies that actually do great stuff, but you have
Speaker 1: to really vet them through, Like get Tom shoes and
Speaker 1: they're like, I'm I'm good, Like these are disgusting, or like,
Speaker 1: al so, my feet are better shoes than this. His
Speaker 1: shoes are like made out of fucking dental floss. They suck.
Speaker 1: Fuck you, Tom. Yeah they're pretty cool, you know, but
Speaker 1: they would want crocs. I hear crocs are so comfortable.
Speaker 1: I've never worn them, though. I just love the name
Speaker 1: of crocs. People love crocs. I would feel like your
Speaker 1: feet would get so sweaty in them, but people really
Speaker 1: love them. That's when you know, my dad croft crocs
Speaker 1: are cool for like young hip people that are trying
Speaker 1: to look like I don't give a fuck and then
Speaker 1: really old people. But stocks are the same as crocs
Speaker 1: in terms of comfort, and I'm like, there's no fucking way.
Speaker 1: People were like breaking are the most comfortable, and like
Speaker 1: it's idea, what crocs broken crocs they kind of have
Speaker 1: that it's the same material, but it's Birkenstock and I
Speaker 1: have them and I've been wearing them for like two years. Streight.
Speaker 1: I thought those would be comfy birken stucks themselves. I
Speaker 1: get their comfy. I used to wear them in high school,
Speaker 1: but they're nowhere near what crocs are. Like walking on
Speaker 1: a gymnasium floor like they're like they're they're the same.
Speaker 1: They're made the same fabric. I used to pull out
Speaker 1: from under my parents bed to sleep on their floor
Speaker 1: in eighth grade, a gymnastics matt. The sad sat there
Speaker 1: from like a yoga matt to I mean, remember, it
Speaker 1: reminds me of that same kind of I used to
Speaker 1: just the saddest chug of this blue thing that I
Speaker 1: used to go And it's like it's like one that
Speaker 1: you could do a backhand spring on and just fold
Speaker 1: it out and set up my pillar. I loved it.
Speaker 1: They're too light to stay on the exactly where you
Speaker 1: want on the ground, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: the padded matt. Is that what you're talking about. We
Speaker 1: were talking to a girl last night. I remember saying
Speaker 1: sleeping on that mat in eighth grade and thinking about
Speaker 1: Titanic because I had just seen it like that weekend
Speaker 1: and I could not sleep because I was just obsessed
Speaker 1: with Titanic. I couldn't believe the scale of it, the magnitude.
Speaker 1: And oddly enough, the girl we were at dinner last night,
Speaker 1: woo who you get surprises Asian every time she takes
Speaker 1: off her mask, which is a hilarious bit she had.
Speaker 1: Also her parents wouldn't letercy Titanic or Lion King, which
Speaker 1: are the two movies as a child that I was
Speaker 1: most affected by Lion King. I couldn't believe how like
Speaker 1: beautiful it was and that something could be made. And
Speaker 1: Jurassic Park. I did the same thing Laura Dern does
Speaker 1: in the car where she takes off her glasses when
Speaker 1: she looks at the Brontosaurus is for the first time
Speaker 1: and she raises up out of the jeep. I did
Speaker 1: that in the movie theater while watching Laura durn take
Speaker 1: off her glasses and look at the pro swart. Okay,
Speaker 1: we gotta get to the top one bottom one. Today's
Speaker 1: category for top one Bottom one is beach activities. Beach activities.
Speaker 1: We're at the beach. We're about to leave the beach tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Song beach back to pready degree whether I can't freaking
Speaker 1: wait Cabo, but I'm ready to go shots fired. I
Speaker 1: will shoot some I you know what I want when
Speaker 1: you know I want to saying. I realized last night.
Speaker 1: I realized that I learned French in high school and
Speaker 1: college and that's the one that I have the best
Speaker 1: foundation for. And if I went to France, I would
Speaker 1: feel very insecure about speaking my bad French because the
Speaker 1: French are snobs and they wouldn't like I always think
Speaker 1: that someone else because I started out with French, which
Speaker 1: all French people are like, don't even thry, like you're
Speaker 1: South American. We don't want to hear that. And they
Speaker 1: start speaking English to you. When I'm going to Montreal,
Speaker 1: like when you try to speak French, they're just like, no,
Speaker 1: cut it out here. They're Spanish, you know, Spanish speaking people.
Speaker 1: They're much more friendly. I would say Montreal is different
Speaker 1: than France in the sense that everyone probably is bilingual
Speaker 1: there because they still don't want to hear you try.
Speaker 1: They're just like, cut the ship, let's just talk English.
Speaker 1: That is, the English is probably better than people to
Speaker 1: actually live understand. But there is something to letting someone
Speaker 1: try their new language out and just you know, humoring them,
Speaker 1: which here they let you do that when you're trying
Speaker 1: to speak Spanish. And I wish that I had chosen
Speaker 1: a language where the people who speak it are more
Speaker 1: forgiving of those who aren't perfect at it. And I
Speaker 1: think that is a realization I had yesterday about Mexico.
Speaker 1: The people here are really nice and like happy to
Speaker 1: accommodate your like the fact that you don't understand their
Speaker 1: culture and they're just sweet. Um. But maybe it's because
Speaker 1: I'm staying at a hotel where everyone has to put
Speaker 1: their hand on their heart and bow when they say hello.
Speaker 1: So do I hate it? I really do. Like, get
Speaker 1: your hand off your heart. You don't need to. I'm
Speaker 1: not put two hands on your heart one, are you
Speaker 1: kidding me? Get on your knees, get okay. Beach activities.
Speaker 1: What's your least favorite beech activity? Andrew just laying there,
Speaker 1: just laying there, I fucking don't understand how people just like, well,
Speaker 1: do you get two towels and just lay there and sleeping.
Speaker 1: I don't mind sleeping, I guess, but just laying there
Speaker 1: with your thoughts or listening to music because fucking I
Speaker 1: gotta get I have to have a ball. I'll get
Speaker 1: to my top one. But it's not a ball. Might
Speaker 1: be you hate the wind too, not a big if
Speaker 1: it's a windy beach, just laying there and it's saying
Speaker 1: get it on your now. I like a pool by
Speaker 1: the beach, but just laying there. I just don't like that.
Speaker 1: I don't like people that are just like, we're just
Speaker 1: good later and talk about sucking. I don't know. That's
Speaker 1: my favorite plan talk though. You can just hang out
Speaker 1: and talk. Then we hate talking. Yeah. We like throwing things,
Speaker 1: right okay? Um, My least favorite activity is throwing things,
Speaker 1: throwing anything, doing any kind of sport. Yeah, oh, paddle,
Speaker 1: any kind of paddle thing, anything where the sun is
Speaker 1: in your eyes. I like a frisbee that to me
Speaker 1: doesn't isn't the same. Beach is usually too windy for
Speaker 1: a frisbee. I love a frizz. I love you know,
Speaker 1: um body surfing things like that. I don't want to
Speaker 1: throw a ball like and I just don't want like
Speaker 1: men just kicking sand up so they can run and
Speaker 1: like grab a ball fast and they're just like kicking
Speaker 1: sand in your face and like I also don't like
Speaker 1: dogs like rolling around and being like sandy and wet,
Speaker 1: like just dogs off leash that come up to you
Speaker 1: and are like yeah and like get sand all over you,
Speaker 1: and you're just like, well, I don't like your dog
Speaker 1: as much as you like your dog. I do like
Speaker 1: watching dogs. Just don't want nowhere, Yeah, like damp, wet,
Speaker 1: sandy dogs getting near me. No, I mean I love dogs.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be crill to villa here, but
Speaker 1: you know, like just like a slobbery dog and people
Speaker 1: aren't like that aware that you don't love it as
Speaker 1: much as they do. Here's the thing, sand and like
Speaker 1: wet on like a like a long hair dog. It's
Speaker 1: not a it's not a good look. It's like a
Speaker 1: it's a lot um any kind of like volleyball, any sport.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say sports are my least favorite. No,
Speaker 1: what's your least favorite? Least favorite is seeing people doing
Speaker 1: like the hand gliding, you know, just hold on to
Speaker 1: that like kitesurfing, surfing, windboard when windsurfing the one that's
Speaker 1: not attached to anything where people just kind of go
Speaker 1: like they jump off a cliff and they just go
Speaker 1: with it. Oh I don't know. Yeah, no, that's like no,
Speaker 1: there's like a new thing where people are like holding
Speaker 1: and like what's that called hand gliding about? Really a
Speaker 1: beach thing though? Is that a beach? I'm thinking of
Speaker 1: things that you you see in your Spanish notebook of
Speaker 1: like activities at the beach, and there's like a whole
Speaker 1: kind of it's an excursion, for sure, you see different thing. No, No,
Speaker 1: for sure, I think it's a it's just a funny thing.
Speaker 1: It's just seeing that that look make you look like
Speaker 1: um the rocketman, Like where you have like those like parasuling. No,
Speaker 1: like do you have um fighter jet like jet pack
Speaker 1: cooked up to your back and you can go like
Speaker 1: pusha gross? Also I love jet skiing, but like yeah,
Speaker 1: I stop being killed with it? Yes? Oh oh what what?
Speaker 1: Anytime there are speedboats that go so fast that the
Speaker 1: front starts coming up too fast of speed boats, I
Speaker 1: don't want to it's too fast. It scares me so much. O,
Speaker 1: my god, when it's like close to people, I'm getting
Speaker 1: just thinking about those boats just like raising up and
Speaker 1: I think the wind's gonna catch them and they're gonna
Speaker 1: go backwards. Oh I don't like that. But no, I
Speaker 1: don't want to see anyone hurt. Um. Okay, let's do
Speaker 1: favorite activities. Surfing, surfing. Okay, it's either throwing a football
Speaker 1: or surfing or catching a football wild surfing Okay, I
Speaker 1: love throwing a football. I like paddle. Someone taught me
Speaker 1: some Brazilian kind of paddle thing when we're in San
Speaker 1: Diego that I played, which is actually like a faster
Speaker 1: version and the ball is a little heavier, which is
Speaker 1: actually more fun because then the wind doesn't work with it.
Speaker 1: Forget what it's called. But yeah, surfing, I like surfing.
Speaker 1: I know you don't see me surf that much, but
Speaker 1: I haven't that much. But I love skiing the most.
Speaker 1: I don't like surfing where you have to put a
Speaker 1: wet suit on though, either boarding like a boogie boarding,
Speaker 1: but you almost like you're risk getting fucking hit in
Speaker 1: the face with it, and it's too scared of sharks.
Speaker 1: I gotta be honest, like I know that's not a
Speaker 1: real fear. Like if I'm scuba diving out in the
Speaker 1: water and their sharks, I'll jump in with them. I'm
Speaker 1: just scared of things that I don't plan for. And
Speaker 1: I don't like how you have to shuffle along the
Speaker 1: bottom because sting rays. You might step on a sting ray.
Speaker 1: That scares me. But if there's a bunch of sting
Speaker 1: rays that you're going to see, I'll jump in with that.
Speaker 1: It's weird. I'm like to complete. I don't want the unknown. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love I love not knowing. I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: mine is a better way to be because I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's a competition, but I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: which logically is a better one to be more scared of.
Speaker 1: Let's do a pole? No, why not? Because it's a
Speaker 1: it's try to explain that pole. Would you rather? Oh?
Speaker 1: Are you more scared of the unknown or known? I
Speaker 1: can't believe someone would be more scared of than know um,
Speaker 1: but I cannot relate to that fear. Surfing to me
Speaker 1: is just, I don't know, one of the best fucking
Speaker 1: sports ever. Like you're getting good alone, people love it.
Speaker 1: You get in shape. One with the water that have
Speaker 1: to be out there by myself waiting and like that's
Speaker 1: to me. Shark times. My stepbrother got bit by a shark.
Speaker 1: Did I say that you got tasted by one? Because
Speaker 1: that's what sharks do. They taste you and then they
Speaker 1: go gross, went right back out. Put some superglue in it.
Speaker 1: What a badass. Really, my dad's obsessed with healing things
Speaker 1: with super blue obsessed and he to kind of cut
Speaker 1: you get cancer super glue. Honestly, it's like he's like
Speaker 1: that fucking dad in the Greek movie Super Degree Wedding. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he loves superglue and wounds and it does kind of
Speaker 1: work and it's kind of cool. Man. That's a way
Speaker 1: to heal warts that I'm obsessed with. You put super
Speaker 1: glue on them and then you put something on top
Speaker 1: to just only stick that part and then you rip
Speaker 1: it off and it just rips out. Just the word
Speaker 1: I would love to. Okay, So what's your top beach activity? Okay?
Speaker 1: My favorite beach activity is leaving when you finally get Honestly,
Speaker 1: I know that sounds like I'm just taking, but like
Speaker 1: when you you saw because I'm never the first person
Speaker 1: to say it because I feel like I'm always wanting
Speaker 1: to leave as soon as I get there. I just
Speaker 1: love when other people are like, we're good, and then
Speaker 1: you get to just hack up your things and trudge
Speaker 1: out and you feel accomplished, like you did something. No, honestly,
Speaker 1: my favorite beach activity, without question is watching whales. I didn't.
Speaker 1: I've never been at a beach where there were whales
Speaker 1: out until here and that you could just see. And
Speaker 1: that's my favorite thing. Is just watching whales flip around.
Speaker 1: That is the coolest fucking thing I've ever Come on,
Speaker 1: I'm fast, alright, just get it. I mean, the least
Speaker 1: favorite beach activity, you're both favorite. Both of you are
Speaker 1: hate this. Okay, okay, we hated for different reasons, but
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm not. I'm I don't hated for the sun,
Speaker 1: like just like just laying there, but yeah, laying out
Speaker 1: though I I don't like it obviously for the sun,
Speaker 1: but I also feel like you can't read a book
Speaker 1: because the sun is so bright. Um, you can't look
Speaker 1: at your phone because the sun is so bright. Um
Speaker 1: if you put on a song to change the song,
Speaker 1: you have to look at your phone, Like it's just
Speaker 1: not the sun is too bright. So it's all about
Speaker 1: the sun. What do you love about laying out? So
Speaker 1: I don't keep my phone out because it gets overheated
Speaker 1: in the sun. So I like just the nothingness. And
Speaker 1: I always put a towel over my head so that
Speaker 1: my face doesn't get the sun. But it just feels
Speaker 1: like I'm in a sauna, and it's very relaxing to me.
Speaker 1: So yeah, and you could just like think, you know,
Speaker 1: like it's rare where you just think, and you know
Speaker 1: what's kind of cool about when you do have a
Speaker 1: towel over your head and the sun is out, you
Speaker 1: see floaters in your eyes and you can kind of
Speaker 1: watch those and follow those. I saw a really hilarious nude.
Speaker 1: I used to have insane floaters. I thought I had
Speaker 1: brain cancer. I have. I can see some right now.
Speaker 1: I have probably thirty floaters right now. I'm not joking you.
Speaker 1: I have so many floaters right now. It's just I
Speaker 1: live with them. There. There's I have so many. I
Speaker 1: didn't see him until I started. No, No, everything's happen.
Speaker 1: You never see like like a blotch of red or
Speaker 1: blotch of blue or something. Final thought, No, I never
Speaker 1: see that. But I will say that, what are your floaters?
Speaker 1: Look like like like little microbes? Yeah, And then when
Speaker 1: you follow them, they move, and so you think that
Speaker 1: they're moving and they have mind of their own, but
Speaker 1: they're really just following your eye, moving and getting like
Speaker 1: flicked around the hypochondriac. There's nothing more scary. Sometimes, or
Speaker 1: when I first started to see them, and I don't
Speaker 1: see him as bad anymore, or maybe I just don't
Speaker 1: even notice them anymore because I didn't notice him until
Speaker 1: I just go, oh, where are they? And now I
Speaker 1: can see one to read there, like I can see
Speaker 1: they're everywhere, and I know someone's gonna write me be like, Nikki,
Speaker 1: you have cataracts or something. But I just have dirty
Speaker 1: contact lenses that constantly have ship in them. I have
Speaker 1: to get a new kind of lens. I washed them
Speaker 1: so hard and they always have stuff in them. I
Speaker 1: love your floaters or just dirty contacts, and I think
Speaker 1: they are that's probably what they are, lest Nikki. But
Speaker 1: I did see a meme that maybe left so hard
Speaker 1: where it was like I'm never alone because I always
Speaker 1: got these guys with me, and it was a guy
Speaker 1: like it was just looking at like a sunset. It
Speaker 1: just at these little floaters. It was like you're never
Speaker 1: alone because and they were like little They just look
Speaker 1: like little DNA strands are a little like sometimes. I
Speaker 1: think when your eyes are dryer, maybe you can see
Speaker 1: them more. I I can't, really, I haven't really noticed
Speaker 1: it as much anymore since I quit drinking. A lot
Speaker 1: of it was after a fucking weekend of drinking. I
Speaker 1: would say, I wonder if I gave you my eyesight
Speaker 1: right now, how much you would freak out because they're everywhere.
Speaker 1: But I don't. It doesn't help with this light here too,
Speaker 1: it doesn't. Yeah, there's a light if you stare at that,
Speaker 1: and then no ideal floaters sometimes and then when you
Speaker 1: try to chase them, they just keep going to the
Speaker 1: side and you can't really. Yeah, they always run away.
Speaker 1: That's why I first noticed floaters when I was sunbathing
Speaker 1: when I was a kid, or like trying to be
Speaker 1: like an adult, you know, and put up towel over
Speaker 1: my head, and then you would just see them in
Speaker 1: the towel kind of I love you when there's like
Speaker 1: fireworks and stuff like I used to push on my
Speaker 1: eyes when I was a kid and they would create
Speaker 1: like all these like trippy fireworkses that just tells you,
Speaker 1: Like when I do my migraine thing and I put
Speaker 1: things in my eyes, sometimes it'll like make it that
Speaker 1: your eye is a It's like that. Things that trigger
Speaker 1: you to see things are more like about something like
Speaker 1: light coming into your eye, like something penetrating it. Because
Speaker 1: to touch your eye for that to shoot off a
Speaker 1: thing to see it means that it's like physical. I
Speaker 1: don't know what it tells you, but it tells you something.
Speaker 1: I do know that if you the coolest thing I
Speaker 1: learned in psychology class, the only thing I remember is
Speaker 1: that if you cease whenever we The reason why we
Speaker 1: get used to smells is because of evolution, like to survive.
Speaker 1: If if you are smelling something that's like really disgusting,
Speaker 1: you get used to it and can't smell it anymore
Speaker 1: so that you can invite a new smell in that
Speaker 1: will protect you from whatever that is. So that's why
Speaker 1: people can't smell their own b oh. That's why people
Speaker 1: get used to the smell of like anything, is because
Speaker 1: your body is like, okay, well obviously this smell isn't
Speaker 1: a threat. You haven't died, so we're gonna get used
Speaker 1: to it so that you can be in tune with
Speaker 1: new smells that might come in and threaten you. And
Speaker 1: it's the same way with every scent or with every sense.
Speaker 1: Is that if you hear something over a long time
Speaker 1: that doesn't have any um variation to it, you will
Speaker 1: stop hearing it. It will just become a part of
Speaker 1: the But yeah, you'll stop hearing it. And then, but
Speaker 1: our eyes are constantly twitching so that we don't so
Speaker 1: we don't go it doesn't the thing that we're staring
Speaker 1: at doesn't disappear to invite new things because it's our
Speaker 1: eyes do the same thing. That's why our eyes are
Speaker 1: constantly moving like this to recalibrate to make things look new.
Speaker 1: And they've done studies where if you're able to lock
Speaker 1: an eye on let's say my guitar and my eyes.
Speaker 1: My eyes twitching like this right now and I don't
Speaker 1: know it, but if you ever statized, are always twitching,
Speaker 1: and if they found a way to lock eyesight and
Speaker 1: the guitar would disappear because it wants to make room
Speaker 1: for new things, much like our smell. It's not cool,
Speaker 1: but you know it is interesting though, to that no,
Speaker 1: is that things don't disappear, but you just if they're
Speaker 1: not a threat, you just don't notice them. You ever
Speaker 1: like disappeared to you. Yeah, yeah, Like I mean when
Speaker 1: I first got here, there's fucking cliffs, there's palm trees,
Speaker 1: there's whales, whatever it is, it's unbelievable. You get used
Speaker 1: to it and you're just like, literally a weekend, I
Speaker 1: don't even fucking see like I see it, but I
Speaker 1: don't fucking take it in at all. I know. I
Speaker 1: remember living in Colorado and seeing like they have three
Speaker 1: hundred days of sunshine and Boulder or Denver, you know,
Speaker 1: and it's just the mountains. Everything is so fucking beautiful,
Speaker 1: and just one day I just remember looking up and
Speaker 1: being like, oh my god, I live here. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've lived here nine months on this campus and that
Speaker 1: has just been there, like what the fuck? And it
Speaker 1: was so beautiful. You might have saw it on your
Speaker 1: first day and nine months later, and that it reminds
Speaker 1: you of when men put on those glasses that their
Speaker 1: wives by for them where they aren't color blind anymore,
Speaker 1: and they start crying because color and just the world
Speaker 1: around you was so beautiful. And I think that that's
Speaker 1: part of meditation, is like being present, being able to
Speaker 1: appreciate things in the moment, like as they are right now,
Speaker 1: Like being grateful I have hands even though I feel
Speaker 1: fat today, or whatever. It is, like being grateful for
Speaker 1: the things you just take for granted, Granted, granted, granted.
Speaker 1: I always say granted. I don't I go with the
Speaker 1: thing that I think it's not, And I always choose
Speaker 1: because I want to go with the right thing. So
Speaker 1: granted always comes naturally to me, So I go, no,
Speaker 1: don't go with the one that comes naturally to you,
Speaker 1: because that's wrong. So I go with granted. That every
Speaker 1: word off putting. Alright, guys, thank you so much for
Speaker 1: listening to the pod today. That's enough for us. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I was in a mood today. But I feel like
Speaker 1: the people are going to be like you, would you
Speaker 1: get on your high horse about collared shirts. It's going
Speaker 1: to be something that's something we fired shots at you.
Speaker 1: It's fine writing that tumbler tumbler, Yeah, it doesn't matter,
Speaker 1: talk about tumbler. Taking out to you shout out, what
Speaker 1: do you mean? Tumblers spelled exactly how I would say,
Speaker 1: shout out. No, you would say tumbuler. I would throw
Speaker 1: you in there you like you like hard use no
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. It took some words out like regularly
Speaker 1: makes you I take them out and no regular and
Speaker 1: regular take the same amount of time to say. Find
Speaker 1: out tomorrow, guys. Okay, al right, guys, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for listening. Don't be called there and jez shit,
Speaker 1: fucking you really, I got you, I got you. That's quick.