WEBVTT - #133: Stay Out Of My Pool! 0:00:01.200 --> 0:00:09.639 Start up, start up, Brooklyn Boy, start up, Brooklyn boyst 0:00:10.480 --> 0:00:16.720 dot up. They're making noise, dat up dot up. Episode 0:00:17.200 --> 0:00:20.640 one three of the Brooklyn Boys Podcast. Yeah, it's one 0:00:20.640 --> 0:00:23.159 thirty three. Last week you may have said one. I 0:00:23.200 --> 0:00:27.400 think I was two. Yeah, so I said one one, 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:29.040 two episodes in a row. You know that could be 0:00:29.040 --> 0:00:33.200 a trivia question going forward. What is the only episode 0:00:33.240 --> 0:00:37.440 of the Brooklyn Boys podcast that the the episode number 0:00:37.520 --> 0:00:40.840 was wrong and they never corrected it because we don't 0:00:40.880 --> 0:00:44.560 fix our edits. Are we lazy? Or are we just transparent? 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:48.240 I wonder sometimes I think it's the first. I think 0:00:48.240 --> 0:00:52.800 it's the former. Yeah. Well, um, here we are again 0:00:52.840 --> 0:00:55.160 recording on a Saturday. I'm gonna state for the record 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:58.480 right now, this is going to be the last weekend 0:00:58.760 --> 0:01:01.080 that I'm recording this pod cast. We have to move 0:01:01.080 --> 0:01:03.080 back to week days. We've got to move it back 0:01:03.120 --> 0:01:06.199 to the Thursday or Friday or Wednesday. Even I'm done. 0:01:06.240 --> 0:01:09.760 I'm literally done. The weather. It's eighty five degrees outside, 0:01:09.800 --> 0:01:13.360 it's sunny. Um. I got an invite to a barbecue, 0:01:13.680 --> 0:01:16.080 I got an invite to a pool party. My girlfriend 0:01:16.080 --> 0:01:18.800 wants to see me. I got friends sitting at sitting 0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:21.520 outside at at all book and restaurant. No, I am, 0:01:21.640 --> 0:01:23.720 I am popular. I'm gonna go with that. I know 0:01:23.760 --> 0:01:26.640 it's fine. So it's the last time. I'm not doing 0:01:26.680 --> 0:01:29.160 it anymore on a weekend because we're sitting here for 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:31.880 two hours and I'm I'm yeah, it's a quarter two 0:01:31.880 --> 0:01:34.680 by the way, on a Saturday afternoon. Yeah. Well, you see, 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:36.319 I live a different life. Every day is the same 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:38.200 for me. And I've got a pool in the backyard, 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:40.080 so i just go out to the pool. I don't 0:01:40.080 --> 0:01:42.200 care what it is. Hey, by the way, sick invite? 0:01:43.319 --> 0:01:46.399 What sick invite? Well, you mean when you went out 0:01:46.400 --> 0:01:48.240 to dinner with all your friends every night this week 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:50.320 you got invite? Yeah, you've had You've had a pool 0:01:50.760 --> 0:01:53.800 since I've known you, and I've never gotten. Never, I've 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:56.880 never gotten an invite to your pool. First of all, 0:01:56.920 --> 0:02:00.800 you knew me for twenty years. Yeah you never got 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:04.760 Uh here's the thing, um, you you knew me for 0:02:04.800 --> 0:02:08.840 a year before. No, you don't have the cooties. You 0:02:08.960 --> 0:02:10.720 never you never got the invite. I'm started to take 0:02:10.760 --> 0:02:13.639 it personally. I'll tell you why you don't get the invite. Um, 0:02:13.919 --> 0:02:16.640 and you go out too much with too many people 0:02:16.639 --> 0:02:18.560 I don't know, and I don't I don't need you 0:02:18.639 --> 0:02:23.320 having a Corona pool party here. So when there's a vaccine, 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:26.200 we can have a conversation about you coming over. It's fine. Yeah, 0:02:26.200 --> 0:02:29.880 but you've never expressed any interest because you are allergic 0:02:29.919 --> 0:02:33.640 to children and I have three of them, and you 0:02:33.680 --> 0:02:36.239 have not made it obvious that you'd like to come over. 0:02:36.280 --> 0:02:39.919 I've never gotten at the invite. Even in BC before Corona, 0:02:40.200 --> 0:02:42.760 I've never gotten the invite. I just explained it you 0:02:42.919 --> 0:02:45.359 because the kids. Yeah, you've made it very clear. You're 0:02:45.360 --> 0:02:48.760 a single guy. Now, had you come over in the 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:53.040 the roughly eleven months that I lived here where I 0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:56.240 didn't have a kid, the first eleven months, you could have. 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:57.960 You could have come over in that window you lost 0:02:57.960 --> 0:03:01.320 your window, right. I just find it find it really odd. Yeah, 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:03.919 but you also you're beautiful. Pool you're not, Yes it is, 0:03:03.960 --> 0:03:07.080 but you're not a pool guy. You're a pool party guy. 0:03:07.400 --> 0:03:09.919 That's not you. Don't You don't go to pools like, hey, 0:03:09.960 --> 0:03:12.320 I want to hang out with my friend's pool because 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:15.440 I like swimming. You go because someone shooting foam out 0:03:15.440 --> 0:03:17.919 of a cannon. That's what you go to. I don't 0:03:18.639 --> 0:03:23.040 enjoy a great afternoon by a pool like anyone else, don't. 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:25.600 I live in an apartment complex where we have an 0:03:25.639 --> 0:03:28.680 indoor something. It's not even a pool, it's just like 0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:31.919 a it's a cess pool. That's a sauna. You don't 0:03:31.919 --> 0:03:35.840 remember the sauna, a sauna and a hot tub. And 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:38.960 then that's a community hot tub. That's a Petri dish. 0:03:39.240 --> 0:03:42.320 You never gone up there, And I've never never fan 0:03:42.360 --> 0:03:44.080 of the pool. I'm not a fan of I'm not 0:03:44.160 --> 0:03:48.000 a fan of an indoor community hot tug. There's a difference. 0:03:48.280 --> 0:03:50.160 I'm a pool guy. If I go to a dumpy 0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:52.760 hotel and they've got a dumpy indoor pool, I'll still 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:55.120 go in it. Really like a I like a pool. 0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:59.520 You'll need bottle service, you need bikinis walking by you, 0:04:00.160 --> 0:04:02.840 the insto, the story of the you do the panoramic 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:05.040 of the pool. Then you do like you raise your 0:04:05.080 --> 0:04:06.600 arm as high as you can, and then you show 0:04:06.680 --> 0:04:08.880 yourself in the pool with everybody behind my hands in 0:04:08.880 --> 0:04:11.440 the air, like I just don't care. Right, I waited 0:04:11.480 --> 0:04:13.800 for the DJ to drop the beat. Right, you are 0:04:13.840 --> 0:04:16.000 not the guy who goes to my house and hangs 0:04:16.080 --> 0:04:19.320 up by the backyard pool and talks about sports and 0:04:19.400 --> 0:04:21.240 has a beer in your hand and just put your 0:04:21.240 --> 0:04:25.320 feet up. Everyone gets desperate sometimes. No, yeah, thank you 0:04:25.360 --> 0:04:29.120 for making my house desperate. It's it's you're not going 0:04:29.120 --> 0:04:32.640 to a pool. I've seen. I've been to hotels with you. 0:04:32.800 --> 0:04:34.920 I've traveled with you. Half the time. You sit by 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:36.560 the pool. You don't even go in the pool. You 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:39.200 you don't want a pool. Scary cabana. You know you 0:04:39.240 --> 0:04:41.600 want a cabana. That's what you want. You want to 0:04:41.640 --> 0:04:43.440 sit in the cabata. You have a cabana and bring 0:04:43.520 --> 0:04:46.200 and have them bring you or derbs. You have a cambana. No, 0:04:46.440 --> 0:04:49.920 that's why you don't come here. I got humped. Dial 0:04:49.960 --> 0:04:52.159 it down. First of all, you're pegging my needles, if 0:04:52.200 --> 0:04:54.359 you know what I'm saying. Okay, if I wish, if 0:04:54.360 --> 0:04:56.000 you could pack your own needle, we wouldn't even on 0:04:56.040 --> 0:05:00.440 the phone right now. Take a deep breath. It starts 0:05:00.480 --> 0:05:02.480 us over. Okay, we started off on the wrong. You 0:05:02.520 --> 0:05:04.960 would like okay, start off Okay, you would like to 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:07.080 come to my house, I would and swim in my 0:05:07.120 --> 0:05:10.480 lovely in ground pool. Yes I would. Also, you also 0:05:10.520 --> 0:05:12.440 said the magic word in ground. I mean that makes 0:05:12.480 --> 0:05:14.840 it even more spectacular. That's great because you don't want 0:05:14.839 --> 0:05:17.280 to climb up into a pool. Um, but look, if 0:05:17.320 --> 0:05:18.960 you had above ground pool, god bless you. I'm just 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:22.159 saying it's too much work for me, so even more so, 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:24.960 why it would be nice to get an invite to 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:28.440 your pool. Somebody, a friend of mine called me and 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:30.400 I said, oh, how's your pool going? And they said, oh, 0:05:30.400 --> 0:05:32.680 I don't have to get a new pool. I said why, 0:05:32.240 --> 0:05:33.880 He said, I set up the pool this year in 0:05:33.880 --> 0:05:36.080 my back yard. He set it up. He set up 0:05:36.080 --> 0:05:38.760 the pool and it's leaking. Oh you know what? You also, 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:41.560 so you set yourself up right there for the invite 0:05:41.560 --> 0:05:43.200 for him. Do you probably put your foot in your 0:05:43.200 --> 0:05:45.800 mouth after you ask that question and got that answer? No, no, no, 0:05:45.839 --> 0:05:48.240 I didn't know. No. No, he doesn't live in state. 0:05:48.640 --> 0:05:50.880 It's not okay, he doesn't. He doesn't. He lives it, 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:53.159 lives enough farther enough, far enough away. He's not coming 0:05:53.200 --> 0:05:55.279 here to get in my pool. Besides, he he already 0:05:55.320 --> 0:05:59.200 ordered a new pool. You know, we're boys. It would 0:05:59.200 --> 0:06:01.719 be nice everyone's in a while. I'd be like, hey, scary, 0:06:01.760 --> 0:06:03.960 what are you doing after work today? Since we get 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:07.160 off at ten am. Hey, listen, bring you up tomorrow. 0:06:07.240 --> 0:06:10.039 Bring your bathing suit and bring your banking suit. And 0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:12.720 after work, just drive out to my place and we'll 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:14.800 jump in the pool. We'll have a couple of beers 0:06:15.279 --> 0:06:17.960 and we'll put on a little h listen. We'll put 0:06:18.000 --> 0:06:20.880 on like a speaker, a bluetooth speaker. It doesn't have 0:06:20.920 --> 0:06:23.479 to be. We can listen to some nice music and 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:25.880 catch up on life and what do you consider nice music? 0:06:26.320 --> 0:06:28.560 Whatever it is you want to put on a kiss ahead, 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:30.880 go for it at your house. Right. That's the only 0:06:30.960 --> 0:06:33.880 band you know what like deaf Leppard. There you go. 0:06:33.960 --> 0:06:37.040 That's my two favorites. Okay, so we'll go to the backyard, 0:06:37.120 --> 0:06:38.800 right and you'll come out. You'll come put your bathing suit. 0:06:39.000 --> 0:06:41.120 I won't be bougie, I won't act. I won't ask 0:06:41.160 --> 0:06:44.120 for the bottle service or look for models anywhere. I'm 0:06:44.160 --> 0:06:48.119 looking for Calvin Harris to drop by and fucking start spinning. Okay. 0:06:48.200 --> 0:06:49.920 What I'll do is I'll bring the dish soap out, 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:52.599 like from the dishwasher. I'll squirt that in and fluff 0:06:52.640 --> 0:06:54.600 it up, makes some some foam for you so you 0:06:54.680 --> 0:06:57.239 feel like having a phone party. And then after five minutes. 0:06:57.480 --> 0:06:59.400 After five minutes, if you're saying, oh, nice pool, bro 0:06:59.440 --> 0:07:06.479 it's really an ice and then you'll go so um, okay, no, 0:07:07.320 --> 0:07:09.279 come on, you know me better than that. You really 0:07:09.880 --> 0:07:12.440 you really think that a little. Then you'll say, Brodie, 0:07:12.440 --> 0:07:14.440 we should do a podcast in the pool. We should 0:07:14.480 --> 0:07:18.679 do a Yes, that's a great idea, podcasting by the pool. 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:21.160 I don't think anyone we should do a podcast in 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:23.600 the pool. We could actually mount the equipment on a 0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:29.320 floatation device right right, what do you think? Microphone, and 0:07:29.360 --> 0:07:31.080 we'll put that on a on a what do you get? 0:07:31.080 --> 0:07:34.440 Like you'll import the float from Germany. We'll get one 0:07:34.440 --> 0:07:38.240 of those rubber ducky floats and I will be in 0:07:38.320 --> 0:07:41.560 your pool on a rubber ducky float broadcasting. We'll have 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:43.800 a headset microphone, remember the old school ones that they 0:07:43.840 --> 0:07:45.920 used to use while it's singing and not singing and 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:48.200 dancing like Brittany used to do whether the microphone was 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:50.320 off and she used to do her moves like. We 0:07:50.360 --> 0:07:52.000 could get one of those mix except we'll turn the 0:07:52.040 --> 0:07:54.120 mic on and you'll actually hear us talking and we 0:07:54.160 --> 0:07:56.880 could I bet you the frame of mind we would 0:07:56.920 --> 0:07:59.400 be in in doing that episode of the podcast would 0:07:59.440 --> 0:08:02.160 be some of the best material ever because we're in 0:08:02.160 --> 0:08:05.560 a relaxed state. See right now in my hot, sweaty apartment, 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:07.400 while I'm staring out at the sun, it's eighty five 0:08:07.440 --> 0:08:10.400 degrees at I am not relaxed. I'm actually anxious and 0:08:10.440 --> 0:08:12.640 I have FOMO because I'm missing out on whatever is 0:08:12.680 --> 0:08:15.040 going on outside and I'm here doing this podcast with you. 0:08:15.240 --> 0:08:17.000 Not that I don't love the slices at all, but 0:08:17.040 --> 0:08:19.400 I would rather do this on a Thursday afternoon. By 0:08:19.440 --> 0:08:21.840 the way, it is fomo, the fear of missing foam, 0:08:21.920 --> 0:08:28.240 because again, you know that would be that would be foam. 0:08:28.360 --> 0:08:31.040 You have phone phone. By the way, it sounds like 0:08:31.040 --> 0:08:32.719 the way you described your apartment. It sounds like you're 0:08:32.720 --> 0:08:37.000 in a sauna. So you're halfway there. You got a sauna? Well, actually, okay, 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:38.720 I lied. I do have central if you fill up, 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:40.880 if you fill up your tub, you got a pool. 0:08:41.679 --> 0:08:45.120 I lied. My air conditioning works. Um, I will say, 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:47.360 can I give you a a little headset trivia headset you're 0:08:47.360 --> 0:08:49.880 talking about that the headset that goes over like one 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:52.320 year and then the microphone wraps around your mouth. Yeah, 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:55.360 that the typical like time life operator standing by. Yeah, 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:58.000 if you ever go into any of the Old Navy, Banana, 0:08:58.040 --> 0:09:01.840 Republic or Gap stores and the largest stores where they 0:09:01.840 --> 0:09:04.320 have those headphones so that they can communicate and then 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:08.720 talk to the stock room. Uh. I was a manager 0:09:09.080 --> 0:09:12.400 in the store, the Old Navy store in Manhattan that 0:09:12.480 --> 0:09:14.920 was the first ever to use those headphones. We were 0:09:14.960 --> 0:09:17.240 the test store because at the time we were the 0:09:17.240 --> 0:09:22.120 biggest store in the company Gap Banana, Old Navy, Gap, Kids, 0:09:22.240 --> 0:09:24.600 Baby Gap, all of that. We were the biggest store 0:09:24.600 --> 0:09:28.400 in Chelsea in Manhattan on East Street, and it was 0:09:28.440 --> 0:09:30.400 so big. It had three floors when I worked there. 0:09:30.440 --> 0:09:32.200 I think now it's four or five floors. No, it 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:34.000 had two floors when I worked there. Now it's through 0:09:34.040 --> 0:09:35.920 they open up. It's it's huge, nows even twice as big. 0:09:36.000 --> 0:09:37.719 When I worked there, it was so big they gave 0:09:37.800 --> 0:09:40.319 us headsets and we were the first stores to use 0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:45.360 the headsets ever. First. Okay, you the guinea pig. Yeah. 0:09:45.360 --> 0:09:47.679 So I I would walk around with it like, uh, 0:09:47.960 --> 0:09:50.280 tilted up to the side of my head and then 0:09:50.280 --> 0:09:51.839 if you had to call somebody in the stock room 0:09:51.920 --> 0:09:54.040 or in the back of the store, you'd flip it down. 0:09:54.480 --> 0:09:57.240 That was like my um my touch on moment, So 0:09:57.280 --> 0:09:59.600 would flipped the microphone down and when you flip it, 0:09:59.600 --> 0:10:02.440 it goes on and now you're no. You had to 0:10:02.480 --> 0:10:04.880 then reach to your hip and squeeze the button like 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:07.240 a walkie talkie because they're walkie talkies, and you go, 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:11.240 I need a thirty three thirty two length style slim 0:10:11.240 --> 0:10:13.240 fit blah blah blah, and you let go and then 0:10:13.280 --> 0:10:16.160 you hear we don't have those. Now, what what did 0:10:16.160 --> 0:10:19.719 you call it when there was a potential shoplifter? Um, 0:10:19.840 --> 0:10:22.959 let's see an Express. I worked for Express. We said 0:10:23.000 --> 0:10:27.400 there was, um, a light bulbout in a certain area. Really, 0:10:27.840 --> 0:10:30.320 I think in old I think an old navy. Forgive me, 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:34.080 I worked there longer ago than some of the people 0:10:34.120 --> 0:10:36.600 listening to this podcast. But I think it was come 0:10:36.679 --> 0:10:39.240 on the floor. There's you have come on the floor. 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:43.320 Come on the floor in somebody right, right, Because because 0:10:43.360 --> 0:10:45.959 you were talking into a microphone, you couldn't very well 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:48.600 say shoplifter, Oh yeah, because the person will hear it 0:10:49.040 --> 0:10:52.280 from the nearest. Other people around will hear it as well. Right, Okay, 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:54.280 so you say come on the floor, right, So I 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:57.520 will tell you this was three years before I started 0:10:57.520 --> 0:11:00.640 at to see one d the Morning Show, and I'm 0:11:00.760 --> 0:11:02.960 I've always been the way I am. I'll explain what 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:05.360 that means in a minute. And so when you have 0:11:05.679 --> 0:11:07.199 if you could just turn down, if you could turn 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:09.520 turn down for what your microphone just a little bit, 0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:16.720 keep going about that much better? Okay? So we not better? 0:11:16.720 --> 0:11:18.120 A little bit, a little bit more, a little bit, 0:11:18.120 --> 0:11:19.640 a little bit more, a little bit more. It's like 0:11:19.679 --> 0:11:22.000 ten ft away now, no, not not, don't move away 0:11:22.000 --> 0:11:24.360 from it. Turn the actual volume button down the volume 0:11:24.440 --> 0:11:26.960 nob oh, let me get to there is non scary. 0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:30.840 You know there's that. Yes, this microphone comes with on 0:11:30.960 --> 0:11:35.600 and off. It's you listen, you told me. I know 0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:38.400 it's revisionist history. You tell everyone what you told me 0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:42.120 to buy. You said, your exact words are my other 0:11:42.160 --> 0:11:47.280 co host share uses the blue snowball. You should get that. 0:11:47.600 --> 0:11:48.920 So I went to the store and I got a 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:51.320 blue snowball. And what have you done since I got it? 0:11:51.480 --> 0:11:54.000 All you do is complain about it because you need 0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:56.360 to buy the higher model. The problem with her is 0:11:56.880 --> 0:11:58.880 in the difference between the you guys, which I'm realizing 0:11:58.920 --> 0:12:05.200 now is she's hot. It wasn't gonna go there uh. 0:12:04.840 --> 0:12:07.920 She she actually she doesn't speak the way you speak. 0:12:07.960 --> 0:12:11.240 You yell, you're you're from Brooklyn. She's not, and she's 0:12:11.559 --> 0:12:14.920 she is more. She is you're from and she's not. 0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:21.880 She actually sounds more. She has these beautiful, sweet scary 0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:24.400 I don't think the guy should be that way. So 0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:27.440 the snowball microphone is perfect for her. We realized you 0:12:27.480 --> 0:12:30.319 swallow it. But this, okay, on too, continuing back to 0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:33.920 your story. We realized you swallow it. Let's let's be 0:12:33.960 --> 0:12:36.120 honest here. Let's let's go back to what you were 0:12:36.120 --> 0:12:39.640 just saying. Okay, so about the headset, right, So, people 0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:41.520 would talk on the headset, They were like, I don't know. 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:44.200 At any given time, fifteen people would be would be 0:12:44.200 --> 0:12:47.040 given headsets because we, like, I don't know, we had 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:49.440 maybe like seventy people working at one time, but only 0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:52.360 the managers and the supervisors and then the people one 0:12:52.400 --> 0:12:56.040 in each department would have the headset. Right. Well, I 0:12:56.080 --> 0:13:01.240 couldn't help but make jokes when anyone said anything. So 0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:05.600 people would say something like, oh, I need a large 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:07.280 a pair of jeans, and I was like, you certainly 0:13:07.320 --> 0:13:11.600 do like like that, So everyone would laugh except the 0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:15.880 general manager Gina she'd be like, you know, you can't, um, 0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:18.719 we need to remain professional on the headsets. I'm like, 0:13:18.760 --> 0:13:20.960 oh yeah, absolutely absolutely, And then as soon as I 0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:22.920 go back out on the floor, I would make commentary 0:13:23.360 --> 0:13:26.280 or make jokes. That's who That's why I am doing 0:13:26.400 --> 0:13:29.920 stand up. Well I was so when I got the 0:13:30.000 --> 0:13:33.440 job at Old Navy was I was also I just 0:13:33.520 --> 0:13:36.559 started in a sketch improv group, so my mind was 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:40.000 always racing with material as it is now. And so 0:13:40.160 --> 0:13:43.240 I mean, it's Old Navy. We would work like twelve 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:46.320 hour days during the holiday season, and so I would 0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:49.480 like say things funny into the headset. What about like 0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:51.559 a hot chickst You know, I was walking by, like 0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:54.480 did you know who I was? What are the people 0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:56.600 screaming things into the microphone? Do they have codes for 0:13:56.640 --> 0:14:02.040 that like oh my god, look at her? Um no, no, 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:04.720 they would well, they wouldn't have codes, but they would 0:14:04.720 --> 0:14:08.080 say things like, um wow, it's uh it's really getting 0:14:08.120 --> 0:14:12.040 interesting in uh in in such and such section, See 0:14:12.160 --> 0:14:14.880 I knew there was some kind of situation interesting. What 0:14:14.960 --> 0:14:17.640 about if somebody took a ship in the fitting room 0:14:17.800 --> 0:14:22.040 and left. There's no code for that? That's brown? Is 0:14:22.120 --> 0:14:24.080 that code brown. That's code brown. Yeah, no, there was 0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:25.880 no code for that. Nobody ever left the present for 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:31.440 you guys. Any stories you ever worked at that? Oh yeah, 0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:35.239 I will tell you that the richer, the more affluent 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:37.800 the mall. And I think I must have talked about 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:40.760 this at this point, bigger right, if there is and 0:14:40.920 --> 0:14:42.800 I know I've talked about this, If there's a Nieman 0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:47.600 Marcus or Burgdolf Goodman's in your mall, most likely there's 0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:53.120 a an elitist level of people that are so used 0:14:53.160 --> 0:14:57.400 to people cleaning up after them, having a nanny or 0:14:57.440 --> 0:15:01.040 a servant or you know, a cleaning person, that they 0:15:01.080 --> 0:15:03.560 think the world is there to clean up after them. 0:15:03.640 --> 0:15:06.200 And again, that doesn't mean all rich people. I'm saying 0:15:06.800 --> 0:15:09.720 that malls that caters, I could see that, malls that 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:12.440 have valet parking. I've worked in enough malls in my 0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:16.240 life to know the difference. They tend to have more 0:15:16.280 --> 0:15:19.280 people who leave let their kids throw food and dirty 0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:23.880 diapers in the understood because they used to servants cleaning 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:26.400 up after them. They used to the right to having 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:28.120 people to take care of that, so they don't have 0:15:28.200 --> 0:15:30.520 to deal with it now. On the on the flip side, 0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:35.360 very very poor people also do that because they feel 0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:37.240 like it would be nice if somebody cleaned up after 0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:39.400 me exactly. So then like you know what, I don't 0:15:39.440 --> 0:15:41.680 have that in my real life. So I'm gonna come here, 0:15:41.920 --> 0:15:45.680 destroy things, leave all the clothes uh literally in a 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:48.280 in a crumpled ball and in the corner, and you 0:15:48.280 --> 0:15:50.080 guys can go figure it out. Again, that is not 0:15:50.160 --> 0:15:53.160 all poor people. No, I'm just telling you that it 0:15:53.240 --> 0:15:55.720 seems to be there. There's there's a there's an arrogance 0:15:56.360 --> 0:15:58.120 so that when you when you see the rich people, 0:15:58.520 --> 0:16:01.720 they walk out like I'm going to leave that there, 0:16:02.120 --> 0:16:04.400 whereas people who aren't rich, who do that, leave it 0:16:04.480 --> 0:16:12.280 like this place. Yea, yeah right people. However, I was 0:16:12.280 --> 0:16:15.920 going to say, shoplifters have no Look if you have 0:16:15.960 --> 0:16:17.960 a misconser, if you have a misconception that you think 0:16:18.000 --> 0:16:20.320 you know what a shoplifter looks like, Oh they look 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:24.000 I know, a sketchy perton. No, No, shoplifters look like everybody. 0:16:24.600 --> 0:16:28.960 So we caught rich people stealing, poor people stealing, Uh, 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:32.560 disheveled people, well dressed people. There's no look. It's the 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:35.080 way they act and it's it's it's the way that 0:16:35.200 --> 0:16:37.720 they look around, and it's the way that they have 0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:40.520 a shopping bag lined with duct tape and then another 0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:43.400 shopping bag inside the shopping bag. So the duct tape 0:16:43.400 --> 0:16:47.160 lines the bag and it helps the sensors not go off. 0:16:47.680 --> 0:16:49.640 That's that's what you need to know. You know, you 0:16:50.680 --> 0:16:54.840 sound like like you've invented this trick. No the test 0:16:54.960 --> 0:16:57.760 store for this kind of No, But I I've done 0:16:57.760 --> 0:17:01.000 a lot of people, got a lot of people stoplifting 0:17:01.000 --> 0:17:04.200 back in the day. That's it. You know, you bring 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:07.879 up people assisting and people cleaning up after you. Um, 0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:09.600 I have to tell you something and I kind of 0:17:09.640 --> 0:17:11.879 need your advice on this and maybe the slices as well. 0:17:12.080 --> 0:17:14.159 I'm embarrassed to say it, but I'm gonna tell you 0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:17.679 anyway because I tell you about my life. So I do. 0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:22.160 I do have someone who comes in once every two 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:27.679 weeks and cleans my apartment. Um, it's more of a hey, 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:31.359 the shower tiles and dusting the floor and things like 0:17:31.520 --> 0:17:33.760 of that nature. So I have somebody who comes in 0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:35.800 once every once every two weeks on a Friday. And 0:17:35.840 --> 0:17:38.040 by the way, this is she's been with me now 0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:41.320 for a good fifteen years. I talked about this on 0:17:41.359 --> 0:17:43.200 an Earth episode where you didn't know her last name. 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:47.480 I know her last name now, yes, episodes ago you didn't. 0:17:47.520 --> 0:17:49.919 I love her. I love her to death. She's great. 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:52.640 We've you know. I I make sure that she's well 0:17:52.680 --> 0:17:55.080 taken care of. She's never asked for a raise, but 0:17:55.119 --> 0:17:58.359 I've given her raises over the years. I've actually, yeah, 0:17:58.640 --> 0:18:00.400 I I you know, I I take hair of her 0:18:00.560 --> 0:18:05.880 on every Live. Now here's here's the problem. She's become 0:18:05.920 --> 0:18:09.600 accustomed to certain things in my apartment where when I 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:12.879 would leave, you know, whenever I have like stuff too 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:17.880 thrown away. My jewelry. Wow, what did you just say? 0:18:18.640 --> 0:18:22.240 My wallet? My jewelry. Now I'm kidding, Okay, it's it's jewelry. 0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:26.040 It's not jewelry jewelry. No, it's jewelry. I know it's 0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:29.840 I know comes first, I know how it's spelled. Its jewelry, jewelry, 0:18:30.040 --> 0:18:34.919 but jewelry jewelry, I get it. Or jewelry jeweler, but jeweler. 0:18:35.040 --> 0:18:38.600 But the problem is the problem is the problem is 0:18:38.600 --> 0:18:41.399 a jeweler. You're you're from Brooklyn Brody. You should, I know, 0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:43.520 But I don't say jewelry. You should have the same. 0:18:43.680 --> 0:18:46.040 But you should be saying that improperly the way I 0:18:46.080 --> 0:18:47.960 say it, because you're from where I'm from, and you 0:18:48.040 --> 0:18:50.200 know that when we're you know that when we're from Brooklyn, 0:18:50.200 --> 0:18:52.840 our Brooklyn roots come out and we say Brooklyn words, 0:18:52.920 --> 0:18:56.840 Brooklyn ways, and jewelrr is the way certain Brooklyn people 0:18:56.880 --> 0:18:59.320 say it. Whether it's right or not. Well, it's not right. 0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:01.800 So I'm just let you know because the people are 0:19:01.920 --> 0:19:05.960 listening right now are not most people in the Diamond 0:19:06.280 --> 0:19:09.080 with the most most people in the Diamond district are Jews. 0:19:09.480 --> 0:19:15.960 So it's jeweler you learn, wow, but they do. There's 0:19:16.000 --> 0:19:19.000 nothing wrong with that. They have good quality. What does 0:19:19.160 --> 0:19:22.719 what does jewelers have to do with you saying it wrong? 0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:27.920 And what who says? So you're saying it's a tusill 0:19:28.160 --> 0:19:32.840 word as jewelry or is it jewelry or either it's 0:19:32.880 --> 0:19:37.000 either way, but it's not jeweler re it's not. It 0:19:37.040 --> 0:19:39.720 should be, but it isn't. Okay, But we agree to 0:19:39.760 --> 0:19:43.119 this degree and you my story. You agree you're wrong, 0:19:43.240 --> 0:19:47.480 go on, go on. So so I've come to trust 0:19:47.520 --> 0:19:50.000 to tell it. But she the thing that you have 0:19:50.040 --> 0:19:52.480 to understand is that when whenever I have things that 0:19:52.520 --> 0:19:56.600 need to be thrown away, like garbage and boxes and stuff. Uh, 0:19:56.640 --> 0:20:00.600 I will leave things right in a certain area of 0:20:00.760 --> 0:20:03.800 my between my kitchen and my hallway. It's a small area, okay, 0:20:03.880 --> 0:20:06.080 So she knows that anything in that area in a 0:20:06.160 --> 0:20:17.200 pile gets thrown away. Oh. So last week it was 0:20:17.240 --> 0:20:19.520 a Saturday afternoon, it was a day after she showed up, 0:20:20.080 --> 0:20:23.400 and I'm looking around for my sneakers, the certain pair 0:20:23.400 --> 0:20:27.439 of sneakers, and I'm like, not the gary V the 0:20:27.440 --> 0:20:34.199 gary vs. It gets worse during these COVID times. I 0:20:34.280 --> 0:20:36.719