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Speaker 1: Fred Show is on. It's Stay or Go. Courtney's here.

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Speaker 1: Let's talk to Courtney. Hi morning, Courtney. Great chat so far?

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Speaker 2: Hi?

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Speaker 1: Hi?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Hi? How you doing?

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Speaker 4: Then?

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Speaker 3: So, what's going on? Stare go?

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Speaker 1: And I have your email here, but I want you

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Speaker 1: to tell us what's what's happening in your relationship and

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Speaker 1: then we'll solve all of your life's problems.

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Speaker 3: Go please.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: So I've been dating this guy, Noah, and I love him.

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Speaker 5: He loves me, like we're really actually doing great. And

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Speaker 5: I don't even know if I needed to call these guys,

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Speaker 5: but there's just like this feeling in the back of

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Speaker 5: my head that like, you know, maybe like I don't know, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: What's the feeling. I gotta know the feeling, you know.

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Speaker 3: What I'm saying. So I got to understand the feeling.

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Speaker 1: Girl. I mean, I'm a lot of things, but I'm

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Speaker 1: not psychic so nervous.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, okay, because like I mean, I don't

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Speaker 5: call like radio stations, you know what I mean. I

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Speaker 5: don't do this.

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Speaker 1: And I just call him. Yeah, okay, So everything is

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Speaker 1: going great, but you have a feeling. But I got

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Speaker 1: to know what the feeling is so we can help

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Speaker 1: you or whatever.

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Speaker 5: This is okay, Okay, So basically the other day we

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Speaker 5: were having a conversation and you know, we're always talking

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Speaker 5: about like steps for the future, and he mentioned that

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Speaker 5: he used to cheat a lot in the past and

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Speaker 5: that he's a change man now and he doesn't, you know,

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Speaker 5: like he has no desire to do that anymore. And

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Speaker 5: then he's like really happy with me. And but that

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Speaker 5: just got me really thinking, like, you know, is am

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Speaker 5: I being naive? Like like is he is he really

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Speaker 5: a change man?

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Speaker 1: I mean, I mean, how much cheating are we talking about?

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Speaker 1: Like is it like I cheated on everybody until I'm

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Speaker 1: at you?

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Speaker 3: Or I mean like kind of I mean, I mean.

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Speaker 5: He wasn't like super specific, but he just said he

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Speaker 5: just cheated a lot, you know, and like, you know,

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Speaker 5: that's just something that he was like like he was

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Speaker 5: like a victim too, I guess, and.

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Speaker 3: Now he's not, well, no, he's not the victim.

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Speaker 1: Okay, cheated on, he would be a victim, but he

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Speaker 1: was just to be clear, he was doing the cheating.

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Speaker 3: He was the cheater.

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Speaker 1: He was putting his thing aling in somebody else's dingling

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Speaker 1: thing aling who or his dingling and the thing ling

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Speaker 1: right the other way, right, I don't know, he could

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Speaker 1: have been any you know, equal opportunity, but I don't.

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm just gonna go out and say it right now.

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Speaker 1: I don't believe once a cheater, always a cheater. I

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Speaker 1: don't believe that. I believe that somebody can make a mistake.

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Speaker 1: I do believe that. But if you're telling me this

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Speaker 1: dude was habitually cheating, that is a character flaw. And

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Speaker 1: I don't like it. And as has to say, he

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Speaker 1: will cheat on you. But what he says is if

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Speaker 1: this dude was habitually cheating on people, it says he

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Speaker 1: is a narcissist.

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Speaker 3: It said. I don't know if it says he's a narcissist.

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Speaker 1: But I'm not a say cologists right now actively I'm

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Speaker 1: not licensed. But I it says that he puts himself

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Speaker 1: in front of everybody else and he's heard a lot

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Speaker 1: of people doing that, and I I don't I don't

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Speaker 1: like it. I don't like it habitually, I don't like it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what does your gut tell you? Does your gut tell

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Speaker 1: you that it's different with you? I?

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Speaker 5: Yes, see, I mean I want to believe, right, I

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Speaker 5: want to believe that it's different with me, because it

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Speaker 5: does feel like it feels great, like feels like we're

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Speaker 5: really in love and like, I mean I could see

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Speaker 5: myself married to him. But like just the fact that

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Speaker 5: he said and then he said he was trying to

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Speaker 5: be honest, you know, like and so like it's like

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Speaker 5: he didn't have to tell me.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean, there would be the benefit of him

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Speaker 6: telling you if not to try to be I mean,

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Speaker 6: he could have held it, right.

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Speaker 3: I guess it's almost like warning you.

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Speaker 4: That's what it is. It's okay, yeah, it's giving that.

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Speaker 4: It's a warning.

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Speaker 3: It's well, I told you that I was a cheater,

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Speaker 3: so some people can't. We don't.

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Speaker 5: Oh my gosh. No, I don't want that to be

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Speaker 5: the answer.

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Speaker 4: No, girl, I don't want it to be the but

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Speaker 4: I is. But a mistake is a mistake. That's a

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Speaker 4: one time oops, I made a mistake.

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Speaker 7: Oops.

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Speaker 8: Side.

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Speaker 4: But if you keep doing it again, he's he's being

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Speaker 4: honest with her.

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Speaker 3: He's there. This was my past, you are my future.

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Speaker 3: I'm no longer a cheater. I'm a cheat on you

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Speaker 3: in the future. That's what I got from.

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Speaker 1: No, I don't me eight five five one three five.

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Speaker 1: You can call the friend scheet can text the same number.

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Speaker 1: According I know you are a little bit nervous, but

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Speaker 1: thank you so much for calling. We appreciate you, and

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Speaker 1: we're going to talk about you behind your back. Now, okay, okay, good,

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Speaker 1: all right, stay right now.

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Speaker 3: I don't like it. I don't like it. No, what's

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Speaker 3: wrong with it?

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Speaker 1: And maybe we disagree on this. I know we've talked

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Speaker 1: about it a lot over the years, about cheating, but

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Speaker 1: I and I'm not. I've never cheated. I'm not a cheater.

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Speaker 1: I just want to not that anyone was wondering, but

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Speaker 1: I'm not just. But what I'm saying is my position

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Speaker 1: doesn't come from I did it and I expect to

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Speaker 1: be forgiven. But I will say that I think and

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Speaker 1: I'm aware of situations where people have made poor decisions.

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Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that drinking or being under the

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Speaker 1: influence is an excuse, but that's often involved or a

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Speaker 1: fight or a quote unquote break or you know, people

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Speaker 1: do desperate things, or they do they do hurtful things

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Speaker 1: or whatever, and and I believe that people deserve to

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Speaker 1: be forgiven.

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Speaker 3: But this dude is saying that he's cheated on it.

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Speaker 1: In her words, basically everybody he's ever dated up until

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Speaker 1: this point that says that is a habit.

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Speaker 8: Yes, that is a that says something about him. All

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Speaker 8: that shows that he's a changed person and he loves this.

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Speaker 8: He loves his girlfriend, and he's willing to, you know,

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Speaker 8: be honest with her and say, I'm no longer a cheater.

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Speaker 8: You say, Fred, You're you've never cheated, right, right, But

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Speaker 8: you could be a cheater. Who knows you know what

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Speaker 8: I'm saying. You're that's what you're that's what you're saying,

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Speaker 8: and it would be a one time mistake. You get it, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 8: I could be a zoologist too, but I mean I'm not.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's kind of like you have a pass of stealing,

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Speaker 4: right right, Well, you've been delivered from then I'm being

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Speaker 4: no longer did it.

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Speaker 2: More than once?

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Speaker 4: So now you just take packages. Well other people name

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Speaker 4: on it, right, So it's kind of.

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Speaker 3: Like basically you are a person, Like you're making this

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Speaker 3: girl so insignet.

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Speaker 1: It's so bad. I'm not making her make her If anything,

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Speaker 1: it's him, He's like, wrong, girl, I'm trying to help her, right,

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Speaker 1: that's what her care.

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Speaker 3: But really, why would he say something.

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Speaker 6: You really think like, I don't know, nobody can change.

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Speaker 6: Like I've done things a couple of times. I have

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Speaker 6: to learn from my mistakes three times usually, not just once.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so you've cheated three times? No, no, no, no,

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Speaker 3: not cheating.

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Speaker 6: I'm saying like I always mess up a couple of

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Speaker 6: times before I learned my lesson. No, I'm not a cheater,

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Speaker 6: but I but I have sympathy for someone who's trying

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Speaker 6: to change and grow.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I mean, yes, people make mistakes and people do dumb things,

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Speaker 1: but I don't Also, I also don't know why he

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Speaker 1: had to share that with her. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: the value in him share. Well, you know, I've been

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Speaker 1: an habitual chea. I've been a really bad dude, hard

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Speaker 1: touch everybody, everybody before you. But you, oh, it'll be different.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why you tell someone that if you've change,

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Speaker 1: then you just move on. I feel like, right, yeah, I.

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Speaker 3: Don't like it. Kira, Good morning, Hi, right, Hi, how

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Speaker 3: are you guys?

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Speaker 9: Hey?

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Speaker 3: Thanks for Colin, thanks for listening.

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Speaker 1: So this woman Accordney I believe was the name she

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Speaker 1: called and said that the guys she's been seeing and

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Speaker 1: everything's been going great in the relationship according to her,

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Speaker 1: but he revealed that he's cheated a lot in the past,

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Speaker 1: and she's wondering, does that say something about the future

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Speaker 1: of their relationship?

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Speaker 3: What do you think?

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Speaker 10: I think that by his own a mission, he's saying

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Speaker 10: he used to not be a trustworthy person and now

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Speaker 10: he's just asking her to trust her that he's changed.

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Speaker 10: It could put entirely possibly see that he has changed.

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Speaker 10: But that would be something like personally, I'd be like,

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Speaker 10: that's not something I want to take chance on because

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Speaker 10: it seems like up until her he cheated and now

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Speaker 10: suddenly you're change. Manly, did he go through therapy? How

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Speaker 10: long has it been since he's cheated. It just wouldn't

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Speaker 10: be something that I would a risk, even that he's

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Speaker 10: just openly and that he used to not be trustworthy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yep.

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Speaker 1: I mean I guess what you did? You blow up

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Speaker 1: a relationship because someone said this to you? Or do

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Speaker 1: you just sort of be warned that it happened? Or

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not saying if everything's doing great their relationship,

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Speaker 1: I say she should dump him simply because he's cheated

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Speaker 1: in the past, But gosh, I would be really sort

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Speaker 1: of leary about about everything moving forward. Having that information now,

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Speaker 1: I don't know that I could fully trust.

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Speaker 10: Yeah, I feel like there's a lot of conversations that like,

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Speaker 10: you need to have open conversations and let him know

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Speaker 10: how uncomfortable it makes you feel. And depending on how

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Speaker 10: he respond to her, discussing her feelings could also be

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Speaker 10: very telling too.

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Speaker 8: I think it's defensive.

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Speaker 10: Then I would think that he's not a change man.

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Speaker 10: But if he's open to like doing couples therapy to

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Speaker 10: make sure that she feels comfortable or something, then.

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Speaker 4: Maybe he is.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what you're thinking about it? She called the friend show. So, Kira,

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Speaker 1: thank you have a good day.

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Speaker 3: Yeah you do.

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Speaker 1: Everyone should turn to us with their relationship problem. So

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Speaker 1: I Meankay, come on, I mean I was of all

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Speaker 1: the opinions here, including the people who call one of

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Speaker 1: us is right. Soy, Vanessa, Bye, Hey, good morning.

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Speaker 10: How are you Mary?

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Speaker 3: I'm good? How are you great? Say or go? What

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Speaker 3: do you think about this this cheater man?

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Speaker 11: No, I think he's would say, he doesn't mean that

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Speaker 11: he's going to cheat in the future. I am with

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Speaker 11: my husband now going on seventeen years in November, and

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Speaker 11: he has two baby mamas prior to me, and he

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Speaker 11: cheated on them all the time. And in all these

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Speaker 11: sixteen years, he has been faithful to me and stuck

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Speaker 11: around al Hi.

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Speaker 3: So he changed. So so you think, no, no, no no,

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Speaker 3: I said that.

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Speaker 10: No no, no, no no no.

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Speaker 4: She might have got a good one from the pann.

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Speaker 4: You know, he just had been walked a couple times

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Speaker 4: and he changed his life. You can be changed, but

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Speaker 4: this isn't given this. Yeah, this man isn't given change.

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Speaker 3: Right now, I have a bad feeling. Why Why is

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Speaker 3: theation the same situation. He's be honest with her because

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Speaker 3: he loves this woman.

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Speaker 8: He's saying that he's a change man, and he's you know,

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Speaker 8: he doesn't cheat anymore and he wants to be honest

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Speaker 8: with his girlfriend.

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Speaker 3: I don't see the point in Yeah, my husband.

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Speaker 11: Told me when we started eating he was a bad

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Speaker 11: person back then, he used to cheat, He had four

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Speaker 11: kids prior to.

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Speaker 6: Getting with me.

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Speaker 11: I mean, he just told me everything up front. He

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Speaker 11: didn't want me to find anything out later.

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Speaker 2: And then you know, like, yeah, but I would I

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Speaker 2: would rather Why did you to me?

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Speaker 3: Vanessa?

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Speaker 1: I would rather that I've been with you for sixteen

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Speaker 1: years and I don't know. You meet somebody from the

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Speaker 1: past and they're like, yeah, he was a cheater, and

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Speaker 1: then you asked me about I would rather be like, well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'd rather I would rather explain it to

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Speaker 1: you after the fact because it doesn't apply to you,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, rather than say, like what

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Speaker 1: I usually do when I meet someone new is sit

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Speaker 1: down and give him a whole presentation about a whole

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Speaker 1: power point about what's wrong with me before.

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Speaker 3: I even start dating. And you know why I do that.

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Speaker 1: I'm not a cheater, but I've given it to Kandin

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Speaker 1: before I practice it with her. I'm not a cheater,

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Speaker 1: but like what I'm doing when I tell people, Hey,

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Speaker 1: I can be a little bit avoidant. Hey, I can

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Speaker 1: be a little bit cold. Hey whatever, I don't talk

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Speaker 1: about my feelings. I'm basically telling you so that you

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Speaker 1: don't expect it, you know what I mean, Like I'm

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Speaker 1: warning you in some ways, Vanessa, thank you so much,

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Speaker 1: have a great day. And I feel like, in some

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Speaker 1: ways that's what he's doing. I hate Peter. Yes, so

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Speaker 1: you were a cheating ass cheater, Peter che.

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Speaker 10: I was young and youm but doing what I did

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Speaker 10: I met my new wife ten years, two kids, and

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Speaker 10: never looked at San anyone else.

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Speaker 3: So, I mean there's a bit of hope there.

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Speaker 1: I think for there's a little bit of hope. Sounds

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Speaker 1: there's a little bit of hope. You can keep it

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Speaker 1: in your pants. I mean Coway saying.

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Speaker 5: He changed, well, you know, I mean people do change,

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Speaker 5: he says the st of that of this section. So

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Speaker 5: I mean hoping he has the case. And obviously it's

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Speaker 5: a higher.

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Speaker 4: Risk if she does.

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Speaker 11: But if they do want to be with each other,

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Speaker 11: they'll make it work.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So you're admitting though you're you are admitting that

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Speaker 3: there's a risk.

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Speaker 9: Yeah, there's a risk.

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Speaker 4: You know I was.

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Speaker 10: It was different maybe, but there is the higher risk there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, Peter, thank you man, have a great day.

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Speaker 1: IM glad you called him.

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Speaker 3: Have a good day. Nikki, Hey, good morning.

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Speaker 2: Hey, good morning.

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Speaker 3: What do you want to say? Hey, welcome, great thanks

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Speaker 3: for calling.

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Speaker 1: No problem.

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Speaker 7: So I think she should stay.

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Speaker 10: I honestly do.

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Speaker 7: I think he opening up a part of him that

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Speaker 7: one he's probably scared to open up, and he's trying

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Speaker 7: to show her that he really cares about her. And

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Speaker 7: so there's a lot of single, depressed people out here,

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Speaker 7: and so why not give love a chance and if

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Speaker 7: it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, there's plenty

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Speaker 7: of fishing the sea.

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Speaker 2: Move on, pick yourself up.

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Speaker 1: But that's easy to say, Nikki, when you're not the

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Speaker 1: person involved, you know, like when you're going through that,

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Speaker 1: especially like let's say he cheats on her, and then

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Speaker 1: it's like you're gonna beat yourself up. It's gonna hurt

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Speaker 1: more because it's almost like you knew.

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Speaker 7: But not necessarily, not necessarily because he could honestly be

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Speaker 7: trying to change himself.

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Speaker 2: My husband was in the same situation with me, my husband,

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Speaker 2: and he's a great man, like I wouldn't change it

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Speaker 2: for the world. I would make the same exact choice

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Speaker 2: that I made from him coming up front and telling me, hey, listen,

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Speaker 2: this is my past. This man is completely amazing.

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Speaker 1: And then she met and then he met Nikki, and

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Speaker 1: Nikki got that thang. No changed, She did put man,

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Speaker 1: she knocked the cheating.

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Speaker 7: Out of that guy, and all my happy wife.

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Speaker 1: Nikki, Well, I love it, have a good day YouTube.

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Speaker 1: Ain't no need to cheat on me because I got

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Speaker 1: that thing. Gabby, how you doing?

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Speaker 3: Good morning, Good morning, Hey.

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Speaker 1: So stair go if you're just tuning in. The woman

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Speaker 1: is upset or are concerned because the dude she's dating

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Speaker 1: now who they're in a great relationship. By her own admission,

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Speaker 1: he confided in her that he's cheated on pretty much everybody.

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Speaker 1: And I'm paraphrasing before her, and she wants to know

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Speaker 1: if she should be worried.

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Speaker 9: Yeah, I think I think she should go because even

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Speaker 9: if he doesn't cheat, even if he's not doing anything,

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Speaker 9: just the fact that he shared this with her, she's

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Speaker 9: all already doubting him. It's already going.

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Speaker 10: To put a string on their relationship. I've been in

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Speaker 10: a similar situation and unfortunately he he told me.

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Speaker 2: But I just feel like from the moment that it

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Speaker 2: was brought up or I.

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Speaker 10: Found out it was just doutsout scouts, it made for

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Speaker 10: like a just not trustworthy relationship.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm mixed on this because I appreciate the transparency. I

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Speaker 1: appreciate the vulnerability to talk about something that you've done

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Speaker 1: in the past that's so hurtful, but I also don't

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Speaker 1: understand the value. And hey, look, I was a bad guy,

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Speaker 1: Now I'm a great guy. Watch me like you won

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Speaker 1: the prize. Like, look, now, sometimes you just a better cheater,

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Speaker 1: like you deserve, you deserve for me not to cheat

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Speaker 1: on you. Like what, Yeah, that's crazy, Gabby, thank you,

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Speaker 1: have a good day. I got to bring up Kiki.

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Speaker 1: The overwhelming response on the text this morning, overwhelm would

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Speaker 1: be that there's no ring on this woman's fingers. So

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Speaker 1: according to you, by the Kiki Bible, that's right, there

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Speaker 1: is no cheating. Well, no cheating is when you're in

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Speaker 1: a relationship, you can cheat. That's cheating.

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Speaker 4: Well, however, she's technically single, so she can leave and

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Speaker 4: do whatever she wants, and he can leave and do

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Speaker 4: whatever he wants. But you know, keeping it play is

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Speaker 4: not admitting that you're a cheater when you go into

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Speaker 4: a new relationship, because, in my opinion, you're just creating

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Speaker 4: a bunch of insecurities that don't need to be there.

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Speaker 1: I'm confused. So you can right, right, you can up

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Speaker 1: and leave and but if I up and leave you, Kiki,

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Speaker 1: then I'm not cheating on you.

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Speaker 4: Up and left you, that's right, because we're single. How

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Speaker 4: are you in a relationship and single? Right, we've been

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Speaker 4: down this road. Guy, you want to get your taxes right, right,

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Speaker 4: What do you put on your taxes? Mary, But that

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Speaker 4: doesn't that's you because you are married.

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Speaker 3: I put.

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Speaker 4: Single because you are technically single. Jason has been in

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Speaker 4: a long relationship. I've been in a long relation ship.

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Speaker 4: When we foul our taxes, we're technically single.

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Speaker 3: That's the facts.

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Speaker 4: If something happens to Big Tim tomorrow, I cannot pick

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Speaker 4: the socks at the funeral, his mother will because I

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Speaker 4: am technically single. But in relationship, yes, yes, yes, in

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Speaker 4: a relationship, but technically if you.

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Speaker 3: Could draw a diagram, we just know you can't pick

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Speaker 3: the socks out, it would come Big Tim. Listen as

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Speaker 3: a dependent