WEBVTT - I Choose ... For Better AND For Worse with Amy Landecker 0:00:01.639 --> 0:00:09.760 You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Hi everyone, 0:00:09.960 --> 0:00:14.320 exciting news. Okay, my second annual I Choose Me Live 0:00:14.960 --> 0:00:20.599 Summit Women's empowerment event is coming to Los Angeles on Saturday, 0:00:20.680 --> 0:00:23.599 April twenty fifth, and I want. 0:00:23.440 --> 0:00:24.160 You to be there. 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:28.000 The I Choose Me movement began as three little words 0:00:28.280 --> 0:00:30.760 on Beverly Hills nine O two one oh in nineteen 0:00:30.840 --> 0:00:34.760 ninety five, but it has evolved into something so much 0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:39.360 more than that. A revolution, you guys. It's a message 0:00:39.520 --> 0:00:42.360 I feel so passionate about. I wrote the book on it. 0:00:43.320 --> 0:00:47.879 So please join me for this one day party shining 0:00:47.880 --> 0:00:51.280 a light on self care and self love. Our panelists 0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:56.360 are incredible this year. We have Amanda Klutes, Bethany Joy Lenz, 0:00:56.920 --> 0:01:02.440 Genie Mai, Gabby Reese, Sarah Shah, my dear friend, Gabrielle Carteris. 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:08.080 We have Caromo and Cameron Matheson and more surprises. So 0:01:08.240 --> 0:01:13.080 please come for the powerful conversations, stay for lunch and cocktails. 0:01:13.600 --> 0:01:19.080 Make a commitment to choose yourself right here in sunny California. 0:01:19.319 --> 0:01:22.559 It's going to be amazing. Tickets are on sale now 0:01:22.840 --> 0:01:27.600 at veeps dot com. That's ve e e ps dot 0:01:27.600 --> 0:01:30.200 com and all of the info will be in our 0:01:30.240 --> 0:01:34.480 show notes. Thank you so much. Welcome do I Choose Me, 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:39.240 the podcast about making choices for better and for worse. 0:01:39.560 --> 0:01:43.800 I am so excited today about this conversation because it 0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:46.880 really touches on so many things that we talk about 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:49.919 here and I Choose Me, you know, try try again, 0:01:50.720 --> 0:01:53.560 proof that there is such a thing as a new 0:01:53.600 --> 0:01:57.680 life after midlife. It's never too late to start again. 0:01:58.040 --> 0:02:02.000 And also it's a very fun reminder that romantic comedies 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:06.400 are alive and well. I love rom comms. I am 0:02:06.560 --> 0:02:11.520 thrilled to welcome actor, director, and just an all around 0:02:11.880 --> 0:02:15.000 inspirational great lady, Amy Landecker. 0:02:15.360 --> 0:02:15.920 Hi. 0:02:16.320 --> 0:02:18.440 Okay, wow, let's. 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:20.440 Get into this because I don't want to take up 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:22.560 too much of your time. I'm really grateful that you're here. 0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:25.040 By the way, thank you. I'm really grateful to be here. 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:25.880 I'm excited. 0:02:26.120 --> 0:02:30.120 Your story is so so in line with everything I 0:02:30.240 --> 0:02:34.280 Choose Me. You had your breakout acting role at age forty, 0:02:34.680 --> 0:02:38.520 you met the love of your life, and then you 0:02:39.040 --> 0:02:41.480 five at forty five, and then you made your first 0:02:41.480 --> 0:02:44.160 film at fifty five. You're like the poster lady for 0:02:44.639 --> 0:02:46.040 the message that it's never too late. 0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:50.520 Yeah, I feel I feel like part of I mean, 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:52.639 it's interesting because I made this movie really. 0:02:52.720 --> 0:02:55.000 I mean, you see here he comes the love of 0:02:55.000 --> 0:02:58.960 my life on cue too. Such an actor. 0:02:59.480 --> 0:03:04.119 He's still he's still futzing in the bathroom. I made 0:03:04.240 --> 0:03:08.360 the movie literally, people think I think people think that 0:03:08.480 --> 0:03:10.480 like I made it out of some sort of ambition 0:03:10.800 --> 0:03:12.960 or something like I want, you know, like you do 0:03:13.080 --> 0:03:15.360 something to get more work, or you do something because 0:03:15.400 --> 0:03:17.280 like no one else would give you the part, or 0:03:17.760 --> 0:03:21.720 and I'm sure subconsciously there's some some of that in there. 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:25.240 But you know, as you're walking, Hi, look at that. 0:03:25.320 --> 0:03:29.160 Hi, Bradley, are you I'd be great good to see you. 0:03:29.440 --> 0:03:32.000 I love the film, so I'm so happy to see 0:03:32.040 --> 0:03:34.519 both of you. When you guys are on camera. 0:03:34.680 --> 0:03:34.920 Question. 0:03:34.920 --> 0:03:37.760 Sure, I'm sure you know this, Yeah, he did you 0:03:37.800 --> 0:03:41.960 cast them little casting couch action. I'm sure you guys 0:03:41.960 --> 0:03:44.320 know this and people have told you. But whenever the 0:03:44.360 --> 0:03:46.480 two of you are on screen was my favoritest parts 0:03:46.480 --> 0:03:49.080 of the movie because there's just so much love and 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:52.559 connection and just you can't you know, you can't create that. 0:03:52.560 --> 0:03:55.640 That scene on the bench when we finally like talk 0:03:55.800 --> 0:03:57.080 is I definitely wanted. 0:03:56.880 --> 0:03:59.200 It didn't work, but when my acting coach shut up, 0:04:01.080 --> 0:04:02.240 it was really helpful. 0:04:03.040 --> 0:04:07.520 No, it was really really fun to do, and we've yeah. 0:04:07.360 --> 0:04:08.440 We've never really done that. 0:04:08.880 --> 0:04:10.960 I know, what a cool thing like. I would love 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:15.160 to work with my husband. He's actually commercial actor, which 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:17.520 is so funny. We watched the movie together last night 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:22.040 and he was chuckling about all the acting classes. Yeah. 0:04:22.120 --> 0:04:24.400 Yeah, yeah, I used to be a commercial actor. That 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:26.720 was like my main bread and butter. So that's why 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:31.120 I used to do that pharmaceutical voiceover for a decade. 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:34.839 Oh god, let you girls, Yeah, let us let us talk. 0:04:34.880 --> 0:04:37.040 Okay, thank you, thank you? 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:42.840 Fun or we're literally like anyway, besides, it's just an 0:04:42.920 --> 0:04:43.640 interesting day. 0:04:43.839 --> 0:04:46.960 I know, you know, what's going on is an interesting day. 0:04:47.720 --> 0:04:50.039 Every day is interesting. Every day is an interesting day. 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:52.479 But but anyway, so I was saying that I that 0:04:52.600 --> 0:04:55.080 I I was. 0:04:55.360 --> 0:04:58.400 I don't think I'm being Pollyanna to say that. Really 0:04:58.440 --> 0:05:01.680 the point for me because I've written other things that 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:04.080 didn't actually get made, and I had a real sense 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:06.200 of relief around that because. 0:05:06.400 --> 0:05:07.320 How hard it would be. 0:05:08.120 --> 0:05:11.839 Yeah, when this one we actually had financing that fell through, 0:05:11.920 --> 0:05:14.520 that was much more money, and I was devastated, and 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:18.000 I'm like, oh, that's an interesting feeling. And it really 0:05:18.200 --> 0:05:23.760 was because I feel like I have something to offer people, 0:05:24.560 --> 0:05:29.080 you know, and in the most direct case, women who 0:05:29.200 --> 0:05:32.920 have been through divorce and are older, who are terrified 0:05:32.960 --> 0:05:34.680 that they're going to be alone the rest of their 0:05:34.680 --> 0:05:36.680 life or they're not going to get to do like 0:05:37.080 --> 0:05:39.480 that there you know, you can't try something new or 0:05:40.040 --> 0:05:42.280 like there's such a fear. I mean, I know when 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:44.720 I when I was going through it, I was just 0:05:44.760 --> 0:05:46.320 like I'm going to be alone the rest of my 0:05:46.360 --> 0:05:47.160 life and like my. 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:49.360 Career is over whatever, whatever the fears are. 0:05:49.440 --> 0:05:52.080 And I and I knew that somehow I'd had this 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:56.279 miraculous path through and I just felt like I needed 0:05:56.720 --> 0:05:58.960 If we don't see it, we don't know it's possible, right, 0:05:59.040 --> 0:06:01.120 So it was like I just wanted to help me. 0:06:01.240 --> 0:06:03.320 It sounds I'm not that great of a person, but 0:06:03.440 --> 0:06:06.560 like I really but I really did want. I really 0:06:06.640 --> 0:06:08.280 have so many girlfriends that I love. 0:06:08.440 --> 0:06:11.520 I have. It's funny that you asked or somehow I 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:13.800 got to be on this podcast because there was an 0:06:13.920 --> 0:06:19.520 article about you in People magazine years ago about your 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:26.000 divorce and getting I think remarried and I it really 0:06:26.080 --> 0:06:29.480 affected me and gave me hope. And so this is 0:06:29.520 --> 0:06:33.039 sort of like that kind of thing. It's will circle 0:06:33.080 --> 0:06:35.200 for me to be here with you. I mean, I 0:06:35.240 --> 0:06:39.200 get it's like really emotional for me because of that. 0:06:39.200 --> 0:06:42.320 That shit is like so important when you're going through 0:06:42.320 --> 0:06:46.680 that stuff, you have to see like that it can 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:49.680 work out, that people can heal. I mean, it's not 0:06:49.800 --> 0:06:52.480 just also, I mean I make it really it's important 0:06:52.520 --> 0:06:54.640 to me in the movie that the guy is not 0:06:55.000 --> 0:06:58.000 the thing. The guy is not the actual thing that 0:06:58.080 --> 0:07:01.640 like shows up first, right, the first thing that shows 0:07:01.720 --> 0:07:05.320 up is her best friend. And that was so much 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:09.240 about how I got through everything. Like I mean that 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:12.120 I found love. It is the greatest thing in the world. 0:07:12.160 --> 0:07:14.960 But like I also know I'll I'm going to lose 0:07:15.000 --> 0:07:18.000 love one way or another, you know, right right, I'm 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:19.120 going to go, He's going to go. 0:07:19.400 --> 0:07:20.160 I don't know. 0:07:20.280 --> 0:07:23.360 I hate to think about it, but like God forbid, 0:07:23.440 --> 0:07:25.560 I just know that, like I can get through anything 0:07:26.040 --> 0:07:28.160 with my girlfriends, right, that's the truth. 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:30.800 Yeah, I love that relationship with your best friend in 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:34.960 the movie. We're talking about your new film for Worse, 0:07:35.080 --> 0:07:40.000 which by the way, is available today on demand. It 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:44.080 is a rom com about the surprising magic that can 0:07:44.200 --> 0:07:48.000 happen when your life blows up. You know, you are 0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:50.600 the writer, the director, and the star of this film. 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:53.640 I love saying all three of those things. So I 0:07:53.680 --> 0:07:57.000 love hearing about this. And you're so right. When we 0:07:57.320 --> 0:08:03.320 see other people walking our walks, there's something that ignites 0:08:03.360 --> 0:08:05.640 inside of us, whether we really know it at the 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:08.000 time or not. But it's like a seed that's planted 0:08:09.040 --> 0:08:12.040 and it like once you start watering it, like it grows. 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:14.360 You were like a seed the plan. 0:08:14.440 --> 0:08:15.440 It was a little seed. 0:08:15.840 --> 0:08:17.600 Isn't that just wild? Yeah? 0:08:17.640 --> 0:08:21.520 And I felt like I was getting enough people asking me, 0:08:22.520 --> 0:08:25.600 you know, and I knew people, I mean people knew me. 0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:29.640 When I was going through the divorce I have, I 0:08:29.720 --> 0:08:34.040 fell apart in a way that was like like really. 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:36.720 Wild, Like I just didn't know that was coming. 0:08:36.800 --> 0:08:39.960 I mean, I knew breakups were hard, but like I 0:08:40.200 --> 0:08:45.800 hadn't factored in the shared custody part of divorce. And 0:08:45.840 --> 0:08:48.360 that is really what Bradley and I kind of bonded 0:08:48.400 --> 0:08:51.160 over when we finally started to talk to each other. 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:53.160 We knew each other like a year before we had 0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:56.360 a real conversation. We were working on that the show Transparent. 0:08:56.480 --> 0:08:59.280 He was a guest star and I was a series regular, 0:08:59.320 --> 0:09:02.079 and I thought he was like kind of a I mean, 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:03.559 we've talked about this, but it's true. 0:09:03.640 --> 0:09:06.839 Like I thought he was like a I can't you. 0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:11.600 Say that on Kelly Clarkson. And I totally relate because 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:14.880 it's the it's the presence, it's the swag, it's the 0:09:14.960 --> 0:09:16.920 air of healthcareself. 0:09:17.559 --> 0:09:20.000 Yes, he just has a swag. 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:24.000 That's why he gets cast as like cocky people. And 0:09:24.679 --> 0:09:27.560 I was interpreting him through that lens, and he was 0:09:27.600 --> 0:09:30.920 interpreting me through a lens where I was like getting dumped. 0:09:30.600 --> 0:09:31.200 Like I don't know. 0:09:31.320 --> 0:09:33.559 I was getting together and breaking up like every two 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:35.520 days with the same person, and I was like crying 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:37.880 at work and he was just like, Okay, she's like 0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:42.880 crazy actress tropes, right. We both had these ideas and 0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:45.880 and I so that's why I have this like real 0:09:46.040 --> 0:09:51.040 darcy part too. But anyway, our real connection, our very 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:55.560 first connection, was I was not prepared to not have 0:09:55.679 --> 0:09:58.200 my kid for half my kids, like you can't be 0:09:58.280 --> 0:10:02.040 prepared for that pair yourself for that feeling, and it 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:05.720 made me insane and my ex had moved on with 0:10:05.800 --> 0:10:07.559 someone that Iris loved. 0:10:08.960 --> 0:10:15.800 I am understanding what you're saying perfectly. It's very hard. 0:10:16.520 --> 0:10:18.040 She was little and she'd be like. 0:10:18.080 --> 0:10:23.280 Mommyhtie's friend Lisa smells so good. I know, I know, 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:25.120 and it is so soft. 0:10:25.360 --> 0:10:26.560 I love her clothes. 0:10:27.440 --> 0:10:29.440 Oh yeah, you're like, I do too. 0:10:29.720 --> 0:10:30.960 I'm so glad that you. 0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:35.360 Like that exactly, while just like you have to dying inside, please. 0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:40.439 Depress every animal instinct that you have, your maternal instinct 0:10:41.040 --> 0:10:41.600 and be like. 0:10:41.640 --> 0:10:43.839 I'm so happy to hear that. 0:10:44.559 --> 0:10:47.840 And then they leave and you fall on the floor 0:10:47.880 --> 0:10:49.080 and you weep. Yeah. 0:10:49.160 --> 0:10:51.280 I love that scene in the movie when you drop 0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:58.200 your daughter off. Yeah to your exit YouTuber. Yeah, oh god, 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:01.839 it's so funny and so actual, like that's I mean, you. 0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:04.800 Know, and it's funny because I wrote a very I 0:11:04.840 --> 0:11:08.440 grew up like really loving very traditional rom com structure. 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:12.840 Like I just think it's very satisfying. Like I tried. 0:11:13.000 --> 0:11:16.600 I wanted to stay with the math of that. And 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:19.280 what's interesting and we keep talking about this amongst ourselves 0:11:19.320 --> 0:11:23.120 is like there's no I mean, it's a very heightened version, 0:11:23.320 --> 0:11:25.880 but none of it is not true, right, It's like 0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:28.400 that is the way my best friend talks. There's a 0:11:28.480 --> 0:11:31.680 reason those are tropes, right, because we kind of everyone 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:35.160 sort of has, you know, like the friend. I mean, 0:11:35.160 --> 0:11:38.120 my friend is just incredibly crass and funny, and she 0:11:38.400 --> 0:11:39.400 just is always. 0:11:39.040 --> 0:11:41.720 Telling me how I am. I mean that was her line. 0:11:41.800 --> 0:11:44.320 Like when I was getting She's like, oh, Amy, you know, 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:46.120 I mean it's just like you meet those friends who 0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:48.200 are just like telling you that you still, you know, 0:11:48.800 --> 0:11:50.560 can can have a relationship where. 0:11:50.400 --> 0:11:53.720 You're still sexy. And she was, So that's a trope. 0:11:53.800 --> 0:11:55.720 Like I'm writing the character going, well, you know, you 0:11:55.760 --> 0:11:57.720 got this sort of wise cracking best friend, and then 0:11:57.800 --> 0:12:02.040 my you know, ex's new girlfriend is in crely warm 0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:04.800 and kind, and I in the beginning wanted to punch 0:12:04.800 --> 0:12:06.160 her in the face, you know, I mean like it 0:12:06.200 --> 0:12:08.760 wasn't you know, like I just want That is also 0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:11.960 very common now that like you meet people who want 0:12:12.000 --> 0:12:16.960 to just blend right conscious and COMPLI like all that stuff. 0:12:17.000 --> 0:12:19.040 And it was like, I can't jump to the healing. 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:23.960 I can't jump to take that. I can't And so 0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:27.040 in my attempts to do that, I was falling apart 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:31.160 because I was trying to get to like the healing 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:35.880 which did happen? You know, like absolutely, which is why 0:12:36.120 --> 0:12:38.679 I also love that, you know there, I had people 0:12:38.800 --> 0:12:40.920 see the movie like before, like in the early days 0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:42.520 where you're getting notes on the script and stuff, and 0:12:42.559 --> 0:12:44.559 people are like, like, why does everyone have to be happy 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:45.000 at the end. 0:12:45.040 --> 0:12:46.960 I'm like, because that's the point. 0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:51.839 Like the whole point is like we're all okay, everybody. 0:12:51.520 --> 0:12:55.440 Yeah, yeah, then the movie's all about you. You're saying 0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:58.760 like there's there's such a thing as a new life 0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:02.400 after midlife. Yes, and a lot of women are facing 0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:05.000 this in their forties, their fifties, their sixties and beyond. 0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:08.760 So you know, everybody's wondering, has life passed me by? 0:13:09.480 --> 0:13:12.720 My kids are grown, the relationships I have are changing 0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:15.400 because whatever there's going on in their lives or the 0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:18.959 relationship is in it, whatever, your careers are shifting changing, 0:13:19.080 --> 0:13:22.120 you know, who knows what's happening. And you've been there, 0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:26.080 You've been through that painful divorce. So is it in 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:28.680 the movie, like what is it that helped you actually 0:13:29.280 --> 0:13:31.880 open your heart to new beginnings? And how long did 0:13:31.880 --> 0:13:32.320 that take you? 0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:33.360 It took? 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:38.240 I mean the painful part to say because I hate 0:13:38.480 --> 0:13:40.320 because I remember someone saying it to me, and I 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:42.480 was like, I can't wait that long, Like if it's 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:44.160 going to take that long, Like. 0:13:44.200 --> 0:13:46.120 No, was it seven years? 0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:49.520 I mean it wasn't seven years, But what's the line 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:50.080 in the movie that. 0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:51.960 Guys say it's going to take six years? And I 0:13:52.000 --> 0:13:55.720 was like six years. That's a lot time. I mean it's. 0:13:55.559 --> 0:14:01.200 Different for everybody, right, Like I felt like, here's what 0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:04.600 really for me is I feel like what happened. I 0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:07.800 had a relationship end that I thought was going to 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:11.440 be like the thing that would mean I wasn't going 0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:12.280 to be alone forever. 0:14:12.440 --> 0:14:12.600 Right. 0:14:12.679 --> 0:14:15.680 I went right into something and I was like, you know, 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:18.640 this will work out, and it didn't. And there was 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:23.040 something about that not working out that triggered like a 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:25.840 real panic, And so I went into a relationship that 0:14:26.000 --> 0:14:29.280 was not good for me out of just a need 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:32.920 to not want to be alone. And that was such 0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:37.280 a painful process and so wrong for what I needed. 0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:39.680 But it was perfect because I kind of bottomed out 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:42.560 on that sort of solution, right, I was like, this 0:14:42.720 --> 0:14:46.040 is not working. So I made this like vow to 0:14:46.080 --> 0:14:49.080 be alone for a while, And in the time that 0:14:49.160 --> 0:14:52.600 I really was alone, I really got really happy being 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:54.840 alone for probably the first time in my life. 0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:56.640 I love that. 0:14:56.640 --> 0:15:00.080 That was when Bradley came in, right, I always I 0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:02.960 didn't need Bradley, like I was like, I was like, 0:15:02.960 --> 0:15:05.800 oh my god, I'm finally happy, so good on my own. 0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:15.720 Yes, did you do you feel like you equate that 0:15:15.840 --> 0:15:19.200 to like? Because I talk about this a lot about 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:21.800 like when we when we get to the place where 0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:25.400 we truly love ourselves and we realize there's nothing we 0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:27.280 cannot not survive. 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:29.440 Yes, then that. 0:15:29.400 --> 0:15:32.160 Self of love just opens up the universe. And that 0:15:32.320 --> 0:15:35.280 is always when the right relationship or the right job 0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:37.360 opportunity comes, or the right anything. 0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:41.360 It's that horrible, beautiful truth of life. 0:15:41.480 --> 0:15:45.400 Then the cont you know, the complete contradiction that like 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:47.560 I let it go and then it comes right. 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:50.600 But then the horror is it a horse or a cat? 0:15:51.280 --> 0:15:53.760 Let it run free and it will come. 0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:54.800 Back to you if it's meant to be. 0:15:56.080 --> 0:15:58.360 It's so annoying. It's like, why do I have to 0:15:58.480 --> 0:16:01.680 like let go to keep it? I don't want to. 0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:03.360 I just want to grab it and hold it and 0:16:03.400 --> 0:16:06.800 be afraid. But it's true, and it's happened to me 0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:11.120 like every point in my life. I mean, it was 0:16:11.200 --> 0:16:14.600 so weird professionally, Like years ago, I was a Chicago 0:16:14.800 --> 0:16:19.040 theater actor and I had done a play at the 0:16:19.080 --> 0:16:21.560 Goodman in Chicago and it ended up getting a production 0:16:21.760 --> 0:16:25.560 at the Public in New York, but only two actors 0:16:25.560 --> 0:16:27.640 from the cast were brought and I was not one 0:16:27.680 --> 0:16:28.280 of them, and I. 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:32.280 Was devastated, devastated. 0:16:32.320 --> 0:16:35.200 And they were all going to New York and the 0:16:35.240 --> 0:16:38.080 rest of us that got left behind. I ended up 0:16:38.120 --> 0:16:40.200 like going it's a long story. I won't get into 0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:42.120 the details. I just ended up being in LA for 0:16:42.240 --> 0:16:46.840 pilot season through a series of events. I'd been flown 0:16:46.880 --> 0:16:49.720 out to LA from Chicago for an audition, and I 0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:51.600 was like, that wouldn't have happened if I'd been doing 0:16:51.640 --> 0:16:53.640 the play in New York. I was out there with 0:16:53.680 --> 0:16:55.120 an agent. I was like, none of this would have 0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:56.680 happened if I hadn't done the play in New York. 0:16:56.880 --> 0:16:59.520 And I literally like lied down. I'm not kidding at 0:16:59.680 --> 0:17:02.040 my friends. I was in my friend's second bedroom. It 0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:05.840 was beautiful, smell of like all those flowers in LA 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:08.440 that like waffed through your window on a perfect day, 0:17:08.840 --> 0:17:10.720 and I was like, this is just so perfect. I'm 0:17:10.760 --> 0:17:14.119 so glad that I didn't do the play and boom, 0:17:14.160 --> 0:17:17.639 my phone rings, and the director of that play is like, 0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:21.160 I'm we need to replace this actress. Is it possible 0:17:21.200 --> 0:17:25.560 that you could come out to New York and immediately 0:17:25.600 --> 0:17:27.680 all these things lined up? Where I called the only 0:17:27.760 --> 0:17:29.600 person I knew in New York at the time. It 0:17:29.640 --> 0:17:31.600 was like, they won't put me up, they'll fly me. 0:17:31.640 --> 0:17:33.120 How am I going to find a place to live 0:17:33.119 --> 0:17:34.680 in New York if I want to go do this play? 0:17:34.720 --> 0:17:36.199 And he's like, oh, I happened to be leaving my 0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:40.560 apartment that's walked from the theater. Like just so many 0:17:40.560 --> 0:17:43.880 things lined up, and it was My friend still talks 0:17:43.920 --> 0:17:46.440 about it because it was like I literally had finally 0:17:46.480 --> 0:17:49.080 released the like I didn't get the play. I didn't 0:17:49.080 --> 0:17:50.720 get the play, and then the play just came back 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:53.480 and then everything kind of moved from that space. So 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:56.760 I know that that's a spiritual truth. It's just very 0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:00.320 You can't really get there inauthentically, right. You just have 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:01.680 to actually get there, and. 0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:03.600 That's yeah, you have to experience. 0:18:03.600 --> 0:18:06.080 You have to be willing to like sit with it. 0:18:06.760 --> 0:18:09.439 Yeah, you just have to be uncomfortable and upset for 0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:12.160 as long as as long as take until you finally 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:15.320 just go Okay, I trust the universe, and I'm probably 0:18:15.400 --> 0:18:17.359 a little bit better as I get older of getting 0:18:17.400 --> 0:18:20.919 there a little quicker. But the divorce was not a 0:18:21.000 --> 0:18:24.639 place where I did that well. And I felt so 0:18:24.840 --> 0:18:27.040 good about all the growth that I'd made in so 0:18:27.080 --> 0:18:29.560 many areas, but this was an area that I was like, 0:18:29.680 --> 0:18:31.840 this just slammed me back on the ground, and I 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:34.280 was like, and so the movie too came out of 0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:36.600 a time where I felt like I was in a regression, 0:18:36.840 --> 0:18:39.760 which I do think can happen too, right, or you 0:18:39.800 --> 0:18:42.239 think you healed that thing and then that thing like 0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:43.480 comes and bites you, and. 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:47.440 Yeah, it's like you're not off that free. 0:18:47.640 --> 0:18:48.560 No, you're not done. 0:18:48.840 --> 0:18:51.359 We got a whole deeper level that we're going to 0:18:51.440 --> 0:18:53.960 go here. So but yeah, I mean, how do you 0:18:54.000 --> 0:18:55.720 get through it? Is through it? 0:18:55.880 --> 0:18:59.080 Right. It's like a joke when one of the characters. 0:18:58.640 --> 0:19:02.639 Like he's the the stepfather in this movie and he's like, 0:19:02.640 --> 0:19:08.000 the only way you know, the. 0:19:06.000 --> 0:19:08.040 Out is through, The only way out is through? 0:19:09.200 --> 0:19:10.879 Oh my god, I love that character, by the way. 0:19:10.920 --> 0:19:16.080 This really makes it funny instily when he comes on the. 0:19:16.040 --> 0:19:22.720 Screen, You're just like, what is happening. It's so good. 0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:27.800 Okay, So you I feel like just in general, this 0:19:27.880 --> 0:19:32.040 whole story moment that you're in, your personal story was 0:19:32.160 --> 0:19:34.439 about getting this movie made and then making the movie. 0:19:34.880 --> 0:19:38.280 But we all have these ideas, these big dreams for 0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:41.800 what's next for us, a business, a book, even a 0:19:41.840 --> 0:19:45.360 new relationship, that those things sometimes take a long time 0:19:45.400 --> 0:19:48.359 to come to freeish fruition. And that's what happened with 0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:51.879 you for making this movie. Do you yeah, what's your 0:19:51.880 --> 0:19:56.160 advice for you know, to know when to keep pushing 0:19:56.320 --> 0:19:59.400 or when is the time just gracefully let it go 0:19:59.480 --> 0:20:00.800 and move on to something new. 0:20:01.680 --> 0:20:04.159 You know why I felt like this one stuck was 0:20:04.240 --> 0:20:08.720 because I really loved this story, like I would want 0:20:08.760 --> 0:20:12.320 to see this movie, right, that's good. And there was 0:20:12.440 --> 0:20:14.960 other things that I had written or I was trying 0:20:15.080 --> 0:20:20.719 to make that we're not really what I love. You know, 0:20:20.920 --> 0:20:24.719 I've done some really smart people's stuff, Like I've been 0:20:24.800 --> 0:20:27.280 in a Coen Brothers movie, and I've been on Luis 0:20:27.480 --> 0:20:30.119 K's show, and I was on Joey Solloway's show, and 0:20:30.119 --> 0:20:35.920 this is all like, you know, very it's very smart, 0:20:36.200 --> 0:20:46.200 like sort of hip, you know, like dark funny stuff. 0:20:46.680 --> 0:20:48.280 But I am not. 0:20:48.720 --> 0:20:52.320 I've tried to write that and it's been somewhat successful. 0:20:52.400 --> 0:20:55.600 Like I was able to sort of, you know, develop 0:20:55.880 --> 0:20:58.520 get some development deals around me trying to do that. 0:20:59.200 --> 0:21:01.520