Speaker 1: Hey, hey, Hey, we're back.
Speaker 2: We're black brand ambition and thisish and this hey many girl.
Speaker 3: Well now that it's cool to be country, I think
Speaker 3: I'm just going to bring out I think Mandy, I
Speaker 3: think Amandalali is going to make an appearance this podcast, y'all,
Speaker 3: because y'all, Queen Bee got me wanting to put on
Speaker 3: my boots and find a cowboy hat that'll fit this
Speaker 3: head of hair and hit the tooth stepping? Is that
Speaker 3: what you call? Poor Usher? Can we just more Usher?
Speaker 3: Do they have beef? Why would she do that to
Speaker 3: that man?
Speaker 2: I know? Well, I will say as first time, I
Speaker 2: was concerned that Twitter like Usher had like like two
Speaker 2: million I guess like impressions or like you know, like
Speaker 2: comment and she had like about a million. So people
Speaker 2: are still giving him his due.
Speaker 3: I mean Spotify, she's like the one. Her songs were
Speaker 3: top of the charts you expect after the Super Bowl.
Speaker 3: By the way, Usher, he's laid like it was. I
Speaker 3: loved it. I had so much fun, which is probably
Speaker 3: why my hip is really tight today because I was
Speaker 3: getting down with the elder millennials at the at the
Speaker 3: at the at the Homie rap. But yeah, he did amazing.
Speaker 3: But I thought, oh, I'm going to spend Monday morning,
Speaker 3: like you know, listening to old Usher, and no, I
Speaker 3: spent it memorizing the words to sixteen Carriages and Texas
Speaker 3: Hold Them. I want to say.
Speaker 2: You know, Beyonce was like, sorry, but I'm going to
Speaker 2: use the super Bowl all attention came to. They paid
Speaker 2: her to do a commercial and she was like, thanks
Speaker 2: for this thirty million dollars worth of promo.
Speaker 3: I mean, there's never nothing done half assed. I mean
Speaker 3: we saw her. Look at the Grammys. I don't know
Speaker 3: if you saw that she had on like she's been
Speaker 3: doing the whole I mean, obviously there's been a horse
Speaker 3: has been the motif of renaissance and all that. I'd forgotten.
Speaker 3: There was supposed to be three acts, Act one, Act two, whatever,
Speaker 3: So yeah, I had totally forgotten. But when she came
Speaker 3: out and for those I don't know, where are you
Speaker 3: living under a rock? I mean it's Wednesday, you guys
Speaker 3: should be up on it by now. But at the
Speaker 3: super Bowl, what happened was was it after the halftimes?
Speaker 3: I think was just after the halftime show, maybe just
Speaker 3: before anyway, Verizon ad comes on. It's all about Beyonce
Speaker 3: talking about I'm gonna break the Internet. At the end
Speaker 3: of it, she's like drop the new music. They're ready,
Speaker 3: and literally at the same time, Instagram and x Twitter
Speaker 3: start blowing up because she's posted on ig that her
Speaker 3: new album is coming out in March twenty ninth. Not
Speaker 3: just that, but here's two new tracks, and not just that,
Speaker 3: but here is the sexiest cowgirl like artwork photography you're
Speaker 3: ever going to see, Like get your lives together, and
Speaker 3: you know, forget about this whole football game.
Speaker 2: I will say whoever is on her, whatever the NBA says,
Speaker 2: it must say, we will take your ear, your eye
Speaker 2: because no nothing ever leaks, not.
Speaker 3: Your grandchildren will feel all right.
Speaker 2: I mean I mean Beyonce literally tape. Remember she did
Speaker 2: the art What was the one that she were It
Speaker 2: was the first one. I think it was Lemonade.
Speaker 3: Say it was self self and Beyonce.
Speaker 2: Where she dropped it and all the videos, So you
Speaker 2: need to tell me you recorded. She must have one
Speaker 2: of those, remember like Men in Black where they had
Speaker 2: that little thing that erased your memory, because how was it?
Speaker 2: No extras, no production, nobody says anything beyond not.
Speaker 3: Even Gary from VIEP. I mean Gary from VIEP took
Speaker 3: me out. I don't know if y'all ever watch VEEP
Speaker 3: did if you're not a TV girl, but VIEP was
Speaker 3: the funniest and Gary played like the the dorky assistant
Speaker 3: to Julie Juey Louis Dreyfus's vice president character, and the
Speaker 3: fact that he was next to our queen Bee. I.
Speaker 3: I just want an interview where he talks about how
Speaker 3: like what what was that like? And how to Gary
Speaker 3: even VIEP end up In this commercial the.
Speaker 2: Girls say nothing a sidebar Happy Valentine's Day?
Speaker 3: Oh is that going to be? Oh?
Speaker 2: Your say if you are a little kid, happy Valentine's
Speaker 2: you know, because it's like Happy Valentine's.
Speaker 3: Meanwhile, I got an email from Remy's daycare. He's all
Speaker 3: of eight months. You're eight months old, and they're like,
Speaker 3: here's the class list if you like to send in
Speaker 3: Valentine's I'm like, no, Do I get at least another
Speaker 3: year or two before I have to worry about another
Speaker 3: one of those? And of course I got ahead of things.
Speaker 3: I'm looking to my right because somewhere on this shelf
Speaker 3: are the Valentines that I bought for Rio's class, maybe
Speaker 3: a couple months ago, and I'm probably gonna forget. I
Speaker 3: need to like find them because you know how you
Speaker 3: buy stuff in advance and then you forget where you
Speaker 3: put it. It's also my grandpa who has been He
Speaker 3: passed away in two thousand and seven. He would be
Speaker 3: ninety five. On the day we were recording on the twelfth,
Speaker 3: my mom just reminded me, so, hi, Papa, love you
Speaker 3: and happened. But did you watch the Did you watch
Speaker 3: the game?
Speaker 2: Though?
Speaker 3: Actually watch half just come.
Speaker 2: I was grateful to the people. I could not figure
Speaker 2: out how to watch the Usher show because I was like,
Speaker 2: Who's watching the game?
Speaker 3: Not me?
Speaker 2: Because I had just come back from visiting my friend and.
Speaker 3: So on the way, Honestly, the Usher halftime show would
Speaker 3: have been a good time before you go visit a friend.
Speaker 3: I'm just saying, like, I was like, it was bouche
Speaker 3: a little Afric DJ. Yeah, come back.
Speaker 2: On the weekend. And then so when I got back,
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm tired. I thought I was going
Speaker 2: to go to a Super Bowl party, but I was tired,
Speaker 2: and I was like, I just watched the Usher show,
Speaker 2: but I could not figure out how to watch it. It
Speaker 2: was not playing on YouTube. It was not playing, but
Speaker 2: God blessed the people. It was a young woman who
Speaker 2: set up her phone so I could watch her TV
Speaker 2: or her laptop.
Speaker 3: And it was me and.
Speaker 2: Twenty other people. Yeah no Instagram, Me and twenty other
Speaker 2: people just get saying, you are doing the Lord's work.
Speaker 2: So I'm just in there like gus, watching like a
Speaker 2: video of her video, which was it was amazing, because like,
Speaker 2: where am I going to watch it? I'm missing it.
Speaker 3: It was on Paramount, wasn't it.
Speaker 2: I don't know cha. I was clicking all the things.
Speaker 2: I don't remember my log into none of my I
Speaker 2: think I said, you.
Speaker 3: Know what, you were not pared.
Speaker 2: I went on to Instagram and someone said I got you.
Speaker 2: She literally was like, yeah, I'm gonna She was so
Speaker 2: cute because she was like, although I'm excited, I'm going
Speaker 2: to try to keep my voice down so you guys
Speaker 2: can hear. So I mean, a gem of a gem.
Speaker 2: It was just excellent, and I just want to thank her.
Speaker 2: I don't remember her name, but girl, not all not
Speaker 2: all heroes were capes, you know, some of them pirate
Speaker 2: videos for us to watch. So I'm just happy about that.
Speaker 3: Well, it was a little chaotic in the beginning because
Speaker 3: there was so it was like where's Usher at? He
Speaker 3: was behind like every performer like there was. It's so
Speaker 3: it was so different to Rihanna's show because or sorry Rihanna,
Speaker 3: Rihanna show, because everyone was sort of like monotone. It
Speaker 3: was the white and then she was red. But with Usher,
Speaker 3: I'm like, where he at? It's like there's a peacock
Speaker 3: over there, it's a showgirl. That guy's doing backflips and
Speaker 3: this the camera's going all over the place. But he
Speaker 3: did the damn thing. And by the time Luda came out,
Speaker 3: and I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd be
Speaker 3: bouncing my baby on my hip and dancing to turn
Speaker 3: down for what. At the same time, my mind was blown.
Speaker 3: I was like, am I in college right now? Am
Speaker 3: I a mom? Like? I don't someone take this baby?
Speaker 3: He can't be mine. I was just in college.
Speaker 2: This is crazy.
Speaker 3: But the nostalgia for the elder millennials was was so real.
Speaker 3: My older sister loved Usher like, yes, he was everything
Speaker 3: to her. So we were all very we were trying
Speaker 3: to observe this day for Mallory my older sister and
Speaker 3: just like really respect her feelings and make sure that
Speaker 3: she got her time to digest.
Speaker 2: Well, what did you think about some of the commercials,
Speaker 2: the Ghana one?
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I remember, Wait what was the Ghana one?
Speaker 3: Because I saw it like maybe after it started, and
Speaker 3: I didn't really know what it was for.
Speaker 2: So it looked like the NFL was saying, Hey, we're
Speaker 2: going to be having like football camps in Africa. That's
Speaker 2: what it looked like, okay, And so they was like
Speaker 2: following this little boy who was like playing football all
Speaker 2: around like his house, but also to the marketplace, one
Speaker 2: of the largest marketplaces in a kragana, and you know,
Speaker 2: everybody basically was like, oh, there he goes Qui just
Speaker 2: always playing football. But in his mind he was like
Speaker 2: playing against some of the best guys in the league.
Speaker 2: So they were his imaginary friends, but they were really there,
Speaker 2: you know, like going up against like you know, this
Speaker 2: linebacker or whatever. I don't know the positions. And then
Speaker 2: afterwards he like, I guess this dog steals his football
Speaker 2: and it takes him to this field where he sees
Speaker 2: people practicing football. Because in Africa, like so many other countries, soccer,
Speaker 2: aka their football is the dominant sport. So he realizes, wow,
Speaker 2: they're playing football football and he's met with this Nigerian
Speaker 2: football player named Oci, who I'm assuming used to be
Speaker 2: a famous football player and says, I know that look,
Speaker 2: I remember I had that look too. We're here in Africa.
Speaker 2: I'm interested in American football and basically says this is
Speaker 2: a camp to like get kids and boys ready to play.
Speaker 2: So it was really yeah, and there's so many. It
Speaker 2: was just beautiful to see. Like I saw Bozma, my
Speaker 2: friend who is an ambassador to to Ghana until former
Speaker 2: CMO of Netflix. She was like, how beautiful? How you know,
Speaker 2: like literally to hear my language being spoken on the
Speaker 2: most prominent marketing stage in the world, right, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean? Like, So I just was just really beautiful.
Speaker 2: It was just a really beautifully well done commercial. So
Speaker 2: that came on. Only reason I sty is because Homegirl
Speaker 2: was like about to cut off and she's like, wait,
Speaker 2: let's watch this one commercials together.
Speaker 3: The girl really impressed that you wanted that you were
Speaker 3: talking about what I saw because watched usher the commercials.
Speaker 3: I saw one. Let me go first talk about wanting
Speaker 3: to be the first person to raise your hand in class.
Speaker 2: Because he read exactly. I was like, so in the
Speaker 2: chapter that I read, chapter one, I mean because I
Speaker 2: heard that. I mean I didn't see, but I heard
Speaker 2: that the Kindae commercial was ghetto.
Speaker 3: He basically always chasing my children around. I wouldn't have
Speaker 3: just taken them to up Laila's house in retrospect, but
Speaker 3: I was chasing them around. It was a lot. It's
Speaker 3: a lot of emotions. I have a pandemic baby, and
Speaker 3: y'all who have pandemic boys and girls out there, when
Speaker 3: they get in a crowd, it's it's hit or miss.
Speaker 3: It's like either they're going to be stuck to you
Speaker 3: and you can't do anything without them, or they're going
Speaker 3: to be flying free. But no, I did. The one
Speaker 3: that I saw that really like stuck with me was
Speaker 3: a Dove commercial. Dove they were our partners last year.
Speaker 3: Will they continue in it? But they? I mean, you know,
Speaker 3: but they did this really this really I don't know
Speaker 3: what's the word it was. It was heart it was touching,
Speaker 3: but it was also like really sad, and it was
Speaker 3: about young girls and how because of body confidence issues,
Speaker 3: because young girls don't like the way that they look
Speaker 3: or they're self conscious about their bodies. They drop out
Speaker 3: of sports at such a huge rate. So it was
Speaker 3: like a twelve year old cliff or something. And I
Speaker 3: think the Dove angle is that they're going to be
Speaker 3: doing like body confidence. I mean, that's always been their
Speaker 3: their thing. It's about loving your body. But this picture
Speaker 3: of a twelve year old little girl in a swim
Speaker 3: suit looking at herself in the mirror, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: ain't that a damn thing? Like I know, it was like,
Speaker 3: of course I went through that as a kid. I
Speaker 3: remember her. I wasn't swimming, but I was in the
Speaker 3: marching band, and even I I was like, I can't
Speaker 3: wear shorts to the practice because my legs look you know,
Speaker 3: fat or whatever. And it's just, yeah, that made me sad.
Speaker 3: And I thought it was really poignant. That's the word. Poignant,
Speaker 3: kind of like punch you in the gut kind of commercial,
Speaker 3: but so.
Speaker 2: Like we're so conscious and like, honestly, there's so much
Speaker 2: money that's made out of our self deprivation and self
Speaker 2: consciousness about how we look. You know, it's big business.
Speaker 2: Like so Amelia, my niece, she's six. The other day
Speaker 2: she she like baked her mom, I want you to.
Speaker 2: I want you She used to say, I want hair
Speaker 2: like Auntie Edo. So y'all know I have a lock.
Speaker 2: So Amelia has natural hair and her mom puts it
Speaker 2: like cute little braids and burrets and stuff. She's like, oh,
Speaker 2: I want I want hair like Auntie Edo's. So her
Speaker 2: mom would twist it and she would call it. Look,
Speaker 2: I got Auntie Edo hair because adot, she is my
Speaker 2: African name and they call me Auntie know and so.
Speaker 2: But then like a month or so ago, she said, Mommy,
Speaker 2: I want straight hair and she's like, oh, you want
Speaker 2: your hair like Auntie Etto. She's like no, So I
Speaker 2: was like, who No, She said she wants her hair
Speaker 2: because she asked her mom, how come my hair doesn't
Speaker 2: fall down? And I remember, oh that girl.
Speaker 3: My little brother asked me that when he was It's
Speaker 3: a joke to this day, but it was quite sad.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: I was like, hair go down, yes, And then she
Speaker 2: was just because she goes to a school in the
Speaker 2: north ward of New York, which is largely Hispanic, Like
Speaker 2: it's about eighty percent Hispanic, right, So it's great because
Speaker 2: her accent is perfect. Though Okay, her best friend, Alena
Speaker 2: is from dr and so like they just you know,
Speaker 2: we love that for her. But then she I realized
Speaker 2: that meanwhile, Newark, which is so black, but here this
Speaker 2: one school, she's kind of othered, you know, obviously not
Speaker 2: the kids are not telling her. She didn't say anybody
Speaker 2: made fun of her. She's just looking around and saying, hey,
Speaker 2: I look different. And she never had a problem before
Speaker 2: because you know, it was like the people I'm around,
Speaker 2: they look like me. And so my sister, you know,
Speaker 2: she was begging and begging, banging. So she brought one
Speaker 2: of these like straightener things, but she hasn't used it.
Speaker 3: Ye.
Speaker 2: And the other day she actually, my sister like wears
Speaker 2: her hair and these like really cute twists, and so
Speaker 2: she did that for her, and she was so nervous
Speaker 2: as go to school because she thought that the kids
Speaker 2: would make fun of her. But she came back so
Speaker 2: bringing them twists. Honey, everybody loved it, and we were like,
Speaker 2: woof everybody loved it. Alena told her, oh my god,
Speaker 2: you look just like your mom. And so I said,
Speaker 2: Alena understood the asignment. We're like yas girl, I know,
Speaker 2: and so we're hoping that you know, I get it
Speaker 2: because I had straight hair for a little while and
Speaker 2: then I came back to my natural state. And it's
Speaker 2: part of, like I wish it wasn't part of kind
Speaker 2: of like this navigating toward accepting yourself and but it's
Speaker 2: just it was just hard to hear, like how come
Speaker 2: my hair doesn't go down? Because I remember, because my
Speaker 2: hair grows out like yours. Man, it just grows out.
Speaker 2: It doesn't you know, doesn't fall. And I mean now
Speaker 2: as with locks, you know, but yeah, it just made
Speaker 2: us say, like, h how much money is made out
Speaker 2: of the self consciousness. Meanwhile, she's six.
Speaker 3: Well, I think it's about there's a curiosity that kids have,
Speaker 3: and I think our our and there's so much pressure
Speaker 3: on parents to like say the exact right thing and
Speaker 3: then the next thing, you know, you see on IG
Speaker 3: some parenting experts like if you say this, you're a
Speaker 3: fucking awful parent. I'm like, well, I'm just sending yesterday
Speaker 3: and got them to bed on time. But there's a
Speaker 3: curiosity that they are going to have about their hair,
Speaker 3: their skin, their bodies. And I think if we approach
Speaker 3: it as you know, your hair is naturally this way,
Speaker 3: but look at all the amazing things it can do
Speaker 3: because it can be straight, it can do all these
Speaker 3: and our hair is so versatile, and if there's an
Speaker 3: appreciation of it as one of the many things that
Speaker 3: the hair can do, dang, And I don't have a
Speaker 3: little I'm not raising girls, I'm raising boys. Rio already says, Mama,
Speaker 3: my hair pop, my curls popping. And when I blow
Speaker 3: my hair out, he doesn't like. He's like, Mama, while
Speaker 3: your hair, well, your curls not pop. I love that
Speaker 3: he doesn't know what it means. It's just so sincere.
Speaker 3: But yeah, so I think that's you know, I think
Speaker 3: it's totally natural. But I think it's like, it's how
Speaker 3: we say that. And I had the perfect book for
Speaker 3: mem Why where did that come from?
Speaker 2: Do you guys call her MEMI we do because I
Speaker 2: call my f.
Speaker 3: I don't know why. Maybe you said it before. I
Speaker 3: don't know her that well. But but I've read. I
Speaker 3: actually raised a hand to read a book at I
Speaker 3: sent you a picture right in my little yees pre
Speaker 3: school moment. I went to the library. I got some
Speaker 3: books to read for Rio's pre K class for a
Speaker 3: Black History month, and one of them that I didn't
Speaker 3: read because I checked out four books and his teacher
Speaker 3: was like, girl, you better pick one, because one thing
Speaker 3: these kids are not going to do to four books.
Speaker 3: One of them was called Princess Hair. There's a beautiful
Speaker 3: book and it's like girls with kinks love to think
Speaker 3: and girls. Maybe I shouldn't have started with that example
Speaker 3: because it sounds weird. Girls with curls like tutwirl, and
Speaker 3: it's like all the different natural hairstyles and like a
Speaker 3: celebration of all those different ways our hair can look.
Speaker 3: And there's like, if you the way that I went
Speaker 3: to the library and I sat down in the librarian
Speaker 3: she was a white woman, but I sat down tot
Speaker 3: her what I was looking for, and I just sat
Speaker 3: there at my little table in the kiddie section reading books,
Speaker 3: and she just kept bringing me over like a like
Speaker 3: a waitress, like here's more, here's more. There's so many
Speaker 3: great books with like so much representation of skin colors
Speaker 3: and hair textures. And you know, I think if we
Speaker 3: are like really intentional about it, this generation, these kids
Speaker 3: generation is going to grow up so much more loving themselves.
Speaker 3: I hope.
Speaker 2: Anyway, Yeah, I think so. I mean, like I said,
Speaker 2: she she's got her like these faux locks twist things
Speaker 2: that's super cute that her mom does for herself, and
Speaker 2: she's never not like swinging them. I'm like, okay, so,
Speaker 2: and to your point, if if she wants to get
Speaker 2: it straightened, she could certainly, we could certainly do that temporarily,
Speaker 2: just like this is just another style, not better, not worse,
Speaker 2: just another way that your hair can be.
Speaker 3: Just let her learn about humidity after that, and poof,
Speaker 3: I'm saying, can you can tell the weather but my
Speaker 3: hair right, it's gonna be humid, y'all curls are out.
Speaker 2: But yeah, it just goes to show like it's so
Speaker 2: social media. Sometimes you just need a break because we're
Speaker 2: all susceptible to I can't tell you how much stuff
Speaker 2: I have bought. Oh my gosh, I would say I
Speaker 2: should just do like I should do, like a spreadsheet
Speaker 2: of like things I was influenced to buy. I suspect
Speaker 2: it's at least a thousand dollars worth of stuff last year.
Speaker 3: It's a new mall, I mean, like window shopping is
Speaker 3: scrolling on ig yeah, and it's and it knows me.
Speaker 3: I'm just like, yeah, I would like those shoes you
Speaker 3: are correct, and yes, last year I did take advantage
Speaker 3: of this buy one, get one sale. So thanks for
Speaker 3: bringing me the link back.
Speaker 2: And you know what, I really love though. I mean,
Speaker 2: this is so terrible because there might be a store
Speaker 2: that I know. I'm not ready to buy anything now,
Speaker 2: but I'm like, oh, I like it, so I will
Speaker 2: click on it, just so they know, continue to influence me. Now.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, now we know how to work the AI,
Speaker 3: you know, like we're you're on the algo Like I
Speaker 3: once did that for husby. I got his I got
Speaker 3: a hold of his phone and I looked for a
Speaker 3: lot of relationship content like how to be a better husband.
Speaker 3: And I was liking and saving and liking and saving
Speaker 3: and he's like, did you touch my phone? Something is
Speaker 3: wrong with He knew immediately. I'm like, this is not.
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. Yeah, it's hard for the wallet. It
Speaker 3: really really is. So y'all are on watch for like
Speaker 3: spring break and traveling because now it's a season. Everyone's
Speaker 3: like booking up. Protect your coins at all costs. Remember
Speaker 3: what you value. Remember I'm a giant hypocrite because I
Speaker 3: am going to Dominican Republic for a wedding and I
Speaker 3: did spend too much on a dress for the wedding because.
Speaker 2: I did you get the one from Afree or whatever?
Speaker 2: You got something different or they? Yeah.
Speaker 3: So it's been really challenging to find a formal dress
Speaker 3: for the beach, especially in my size because I'm not
Speaker 3: like I need you know, and what I love about
Speaker 3: the what was the place you Offree?
Speaker 2: What's it called for? Something like Offrey Afree?
Speaker 3: Yeah? And where they're Kenyan or where they.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's an African brand, but I don't know African brands.
Speaker 3: Beautiful, Yeah, beautiful clothes, but with my timeline, like I, yeah,
Speaker 3: I didn't find anything in my size that I like there.
Speaker 3: But we'll see. But the point is Internet is just
Speaker 3: taking our dollars at all times.
Speaker 2: They say TikTok liter is like every third or fourth
Speaker 2: like video or whatever is an ad. It's not more not.
Speaker 3: What even Target is doing a storefront for influencers. You
Speaker 3: know how on TikTok it's like Linkster in my Amazon
Speaker 3: storefront and everyone's you know, getting those affiliate dollars and
Speaker 3: now Targe's rolling it out too. You know. One thing
Speaker 3: tie it back to Super Bowl ads is there was
Speaker 3: a notable absence from these years. This year's ads was
Speaker 3: NFT and Crypto content, which was like, yeah, Crypto, Wait,
Speaker 3: they don't have it in the Crypto stadium. No, it
Speaker 3: was in Vegas, but anyway, Crypto and NFT ads were
Speaker 3: all over the place the past couple of Super Bowls.
Speaker 3: But no, it was crickets from the Crypto bros. On
Speaker 3: the marketing team.
Speaker 2: They're like, maybe we're gonna read the room.
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe people know too much. Now what else? Is
Speaker 3: there anything else buzzin'?
Speaker 2: Well, you know, I think you and I were chatting,
Speaker 2: like last week, how so many businesses? It's like this
Speaker 2: thing that's like not being said, like explicitly so many businesses,
Speaker 2: but not just businesses, people twenty twenty three was a
Speaker 2: really hard financial year. Why is people not talking about it? Like,
Speaker 2: I mean, certainly I've seen some people, But there was
Speaker 2: an article that I read It was like about how
Speaker 2: many small businesses actually went out of business in twenty
Speaker 2: twenty three. But I can see it myself, like I'm
Speaker 2: people who I follow who've been in business for years
Speaker 2: went out of business twenty twenty three or have just
Speaker 2: been expressing how it was like a total shit show.
Speaker 2: But also I have friends who were looking for jobs
Speaker 2: eight months a year. I'm like, what you and I
Speaker 2: were kind of chatting and maybe we could just chat so,
Speaker 2: you know, like I there doesn't seem usually when a
Speaker 2: trend like this happens, you know you're seeing it on
Speaker 2: CNN and CNBC and d D, but I feel like
Speaker 2: there's not this consensus, Like there was this really bad
Speaker 2: financial trend where people were having a really hard time
Speaker 2: in the business sector but also in the corporate sector,
Speaker 2: and here's what we saw happen. I feel like it
Speaker 2: was kind of mom's the word. It's all. This is
Speaker 2: just kind of like me just observing. Like at first
Speaker 2: you just think like, wow, I'm having a bad year.
Speaker 2: Then I talked to one friend and another and another
Speaker 2: and a sister and a brother, and I'm like wait,
Speaker 2: And then I saw like one article on it and
Speaker 2: I thought, what was that? What was twenty twenty three
Speaker 2: and why were we all having such a hard time financially?
Speaker 3: Well, it's important, I think, just the question to reflect
Speaker 3: on last year because you as a business owner learning
Speaker 3: from trends, and it may not be that you made
Speaker 3: a mistake, but like what you were your services, your products,
Speaker 3: like the consumer sentiment was different, like they weren't ready
Speaker 3: to spend on that type of service. And I think
Speaker 3: the risk is, like you, if you pivot too quickly
Speaker 3: because something isn't working, then maybe what you have is
Speaker 3: great for when the cycle, when this dip is over,
Speaker 3: whenever the you know, people are not wanting to spend
Speaker 3: their dollars in this way. They're feeling more frugal. They're
Speaker 3: spending so much more money at the grocery store, and
Speaker 3: it's like, am I going to get bread and eggs
Speaker 3: which are really expensive? Am I going to spend on this? Like,
Speaker 3: but your services are still good, maybe your funnel, you know,
Speaker 3: where the customer journey is still good. But if you scramble.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you've heard this as well, but
Speaker 3: like I know, for me, I made some choices in
Speaker 3: twenty twenty three out of a reaction to like, oh,
Speaker 3: that's not working anymore. I'm going to change and like
Speaker 3: try this instead and change a price here and make
Speaker 3: this free where I as I used to charge for it.
Speaker 3: And I don't know that I necessarily had to, but
Speaker 3: it felt like something that I could, you know, I
Speaker 3: was like, well, just pull this lever here and see
Speaker 3: what happens. But I didn't. Luckily, because I was on
Speaker 3: maternity leave and in pregnant delirium for a lot of
Speaker 3: the year and then postpartum delirium, I didn't fiddle too
Speaker 3: much with my business and that might have actually helped me,
Speaker 3: because I almost feel like sometimes and you know, you've
Speaker 3: been in this longer than me, and you have clearly
Speaker 3: talked to a lot of people about it, But I
Speaker 3: feel like in business sometimes it's almost like treated like
Speaker 3: an index fund, a little bit like once you have
Speaker 3: the infrastructure set up, sort of like ride the ups
Speaker 3: and downs, but stay true to what's worked for you,
Speaker 3: or double down maybe on some core offers rather than
Speaker 3: like adding new stuff. And I was I was texting
Speaker 3: with Mark Russell. Do you know Mark from Better Wallet?
Speaker 3: He was on the show, but I think it was
Speaker 3: when you were gone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I know I don't know him personally, but
Speaker 2: like I follow him.
Speaker 3: He loves you. You're like his idol. But anyway, but
Speaker 3: Mark and I were texting and I was like, yeah, so,
Speaker 3: how was twenty twenty three for you. I've heard that
Speaker 3: it's been rough, and he said, actually, I've had I
Speaker 3: had a great twenty twenty three, I got rid of
Speaker 3: a lot of extra stuff that I had been adding
Speaker 3: and just focused on my core offer, and he had
Speaker 3: a really strong year. So Okay, I don't know, that's
Speaker 3: just what I Yeah, and.
Speaker 2: I say this too, like one of the things one
Speaker 2: of the most difficult parts of business is knowing when,
Speaker 2: because so, for example, we think of Blockbuster and what
Speaker 2: their core offer was, when is a time, you know,
Speaker 2: because it's like, you know, you don't want to pivot
Speaker 2: too late, because there is no business that's doing the
Speaker 2: exact same thing it was doing twenty thirty, forty years ago.
Speaker 2: It's like, you know, so I would say, like, for example,
Speaker 2: maybe the core offer for Blockbusters, we deliver movies, and
Speaker 2: they needed to pivot to delivering movies in a different way,
Speaker 2: you know, And then they waited too long and Netflix
Speaker 2: was like Man Man, Man and the Booboo. You know, gotcha,
Speaker 2: you know, And so yeah, that's the part. It was
Speaker 2: like I was just talking to someone on my team
Speaker 2: earlier today, like I don't want to do bad good,
Speaker 2: meaning like there are some offers that we have that
Speaker 2: I feel like it's they're expired now we've been doing
Speaker 2: it for like eight years. So it's a it's a
Speaker 2: it's a it's a it's a it's not a bad
Speaker 2: product inherently, but it's just not. The audience is just
Speaker 2: not this is not where they're wanting, this is not
Speaker 2: what they're wanting. So it's quote unquote bad, but it's
Speaker 2: like we're really good at doing it. And I'm just like, yeah,
Speaker 2: but to what you know? And so that's the thing
Speaker 2: that's the struggle machine yes, and so you know, because
Speaker 2: you like, you don't want to get stuck in that like,
Speaker 2: uh so there that is the struggle of like, you
Speaker 2: don't want to just be pisoting because I've seen businesses
Speaker 2: like that. I have come up with people that when
Speaker 2: I first started the Budgetista, they had one thing that
Speaker 2: they were doing and then two years in they did
Speaker 2: something else. In two years in and I'm still doing
Speaker 2: the budgetiessta Financial education, and they're like, I should have
Speaker 2: stuck with the thing. So to your point, that's.
Speaker 3: What I was kind of trying to get at. Yeah, exactly. No,
Speaker 3: not that you don't want to try and evolve, but
Speaker 3: that you sort of trust that it takes time, yes,
Speaker 3: to be sticky and to.
Speaker 2: Yes, And maybe what it is is that this is
Speaker 2: your core thing, and you just get different with how
Speaker 2: you deliver it. So if I'm a financial educator, it's like, oh,
Speaker 2: there's books, Oh, but there's also courses. Oh but there's
Speaker 2: also spokesperson word. Oh, it also speaking it. So I
Speaker 2: have pivoted in how I delivered the core thing, which
Speaker 2: is financial education. Yeah, so it's just something else. And
Speaker 2: the truth is that's just the nature of business, Like
Speaker 2: there's no such thing as we did it Joe like,
Speaker 2: and you just stay there, like even if you had
Speaker 2: an amazing year, well, the next year is a new year,
Speaker 2: and it's like, girl, we have different requirements. You have
Speaker 2: to pivot and change and grow and and edit and
Speaker 2: add and and so that's the thing. Like sometimes I
Speaker 2: see people in business and they're like, oh, I must
Speaker 2: not be good at this. I'm like, no, this is
Speaker 2: actually what it looks like. Like think about like raising kids. Right,
Speaker 2: it's not like who we did It wasn't last year great,
Speaker 2: It's like, uh, rio's like still growing. Yeah, so there's
Speaker 2: more this year. You had a good deal with me
Speaker 2: last year. This year is the year that I decide
Speaker 2: I no longer like vegetables. It's like, wait, what you
Speaker 2: still love vegetables. I change my mind. Why do kids
Speaker 2: do that? Right? You're like, but you looked corn. They're like,
Speaker 2: that was yesterday. Matter of fact, that was this morning.
Speaker 2: You're late.
Speaker 3: I don't know what screw who got put in the
Speaker 3: wrong place in Rio's whole brain. But he loves broccoli.
Speaker 3: There's times where I'm begging him eat the hot dog. No, no,
Speaker 3: get the protea. He's like, I just want the broccoli.
Speaker 3: I can't tell you. I'll take credit for it. But
Speaker 3: I'm like, and I'm listening to myself, like, shout up
Speaker 3: to letting me have the broccoli. Let him get the
Speaker 3: nutrients now. But yeah, So if you're yeah, whether you're
Speaker 3: in business, Oh, you asked about like the nine to five,
Speaker 3: you know, the job search. Actually, my sister if she
Speaker 3: don't want me putting her business out, she won't. She
Speaker 3: works in healthcare. I think I've talked about it before,
Speaker 3: and she works in healthcare for a huge healthcare system
Speaker 3: in the Midwest. And she has really been struggling because
Speaker 3: she'll get to like the final round of interviews again
Speaker 3: and again and again and then lose out and not
Speaker 3: get picked. And I was ready to like, I was like,
Speaker 3: give me your manager's phone number, because I want to
Speaker 3: call them. I need to call them up and be like,
Speaker 3: why are you wasting this talent? Why aren't you guys
Speaker 3: like recognizing this what's going on? Because she has everything
Speaker 3: you'd want right And finally she got some feedback that
Speaker 3: I thought was really enlightening. And also, if you have
Speaker 3: if you're struggling in the job market, it's one thing
Speaker 3: for my sister because she, you know, its jobs within
Speaker 3: her medical system, so she has access to ask people
Speaker 3: for feedback in a way that some people don't. If
Speaker 3: you've ever really just talked to a recruiter and you're
Speaker 3: not a part of the company, but nonetheless asking for
Speaker 3: that feedback and if they're generous enough to provide you
Speaker 3: some can be insightful and can put you at ease.
Speaker 3: And for my sister, the feedback was, you know, we
Speaker 3: had fifty plus candidates, good candidates qualified on paper, candidates
Speaker 3: for this role, and you made the top three and
Speaker 3: ultimately went with someone who had been doing this role,
Speaker 3: which kind of pisses me off because like, how are
Speaker 3: people going to get a chance anyway, went with a
Speaker 3: safer option of someone who had, you know, the exact
Speaker 3: experience somewhere else, and I do think the difference is few.
Speaker 3: You know, the job market is like stronger in some ways,
Speaker 3: but it's more of a balance toward the employer, and
Speaker 3: especially in these hot and it was a remote job.
Speaker 3: It had these bells and whistles, and I'm like, everyone's
Speaker 3: looking for these juicy opportunities and I think there's just
Speaker 3: more folks out there who are qualified. And in my
Speaker 3: sister's case, I was like, Mallory, you got to stop
Speaker 3: banging your head against the wall thinking you know I'm
Speaker 3: not good enough. I'm like, you need an advocate who
Speaker 3: knows you're good enough and can get you over this
Speaker 3: experience hurdle, because that is what's holding back. No I
Speaker 3: want she's not holding herself back, but you're if you're
Speaker 3: her manager right now, if you're in a hiring position,
Speaker 3: I need you all to listen up. There are people
Speaker 3: like my sister who have the talent and no shade
Speaker 3: to the person who got the job, like kudos to them,
Speaker 3: but how many people are you missing out on who
Speaker 3: would be so loyal Not that loyalty should be celebrated entirely,
Speaker 3: but when you hire someone, you give them a shot.
Speaker 3: When you say I see your potential, you create such
Speaker 3: a great like vibe, such a great mentality from that
Speaker 3: one employee to join your team, Like they're going to
Speaker 3: be all in, They're going to be so grateful because
Speaker 3: you took a chance on them. They get to prove themselves.
Speaker 3: They're going to be stickier, you know. Turnover is something
Speaker 3: you think about as a hiring manager, and for me,
Speaker 3: I would look for people who weren't perfectly on paper
Speaker 3: the person that I was looking for, but who could
Speaker 3: get there, who had enough experience and I could tell
Speaker 3: just needed like a chance, like needed an opportunity, needed
Speaker 3: someone to say, oh you can do this, you know.
Speaker 3: And if we don't have enough leaders thinking that way,
Speaker 3: then you end up, I feel like, with people who
Speaker 3: are going to be job hopping and going from one
Speaker 3: offer to the next, which is not bad, but for
Speaker 3: an employer, you want people who were going to stick
Speaker 3: around and grow, you know. And that made me very
Speaker 3: frustrated for her, but also wanting her to be more.
Speaker 3: I mean, she already is. She's doing an amazing job
Speaker 3: like making sure that her manager's managers, managers know that
Speaker 3: she's looking and that she's interested in a new opportunity,
Speaker 3: and that she's been really frustrated by what's been happening
Speaker 3: with these other opportunities kind of slipping through her grasp
Speaker 3: and until one of them, which I think she's finally
Speaker 3: getting through their fixed skulls, starts to look at where
Speaker 3: can we put her or how can we move her
Speaker 3: to the top, you know, like that's what it's going
Speaker 3: to take in a lot of cases, So those relationship
Speaker 3: building becomes a lot more important than necessarily the resume.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm hearing more because I think it was
Speaker 2: a CNBC article. They said that, like they ask a
Speaker 2: bunch of hiring managers what's happening. They're like, well, last
Speaker 2: year or the year before twenty twenty two, when we
Speaker 2: would put out a job, there might be say forty
Speaker 2: people that apply, and it was like a video and
Speaker 2: the guy's like, now, within half an hour, four hundred
Speaker 2: people have applied. So to your point, there is a
Speaker 2: there's I mean, you're at least ten of them are
Speaker 2: going to be excellent. And he said, what they're what
Speaker 2: they're seeing is the people who are getting the job
Speaker 2: have an internal advocate. To your point, like I think
Speaker 2: about my friend as most recently am my friends most
Speaker 2: recently who have gotten jobs, someone internally has come in.
Speaker 2: Because I'm looking around, I'm like, okay, there's four hundred
Speaker 2: people obviously now, but ten of these people are great.
Speaker 2: But if one of them has a friend who's excellent,
Speaker 2: who works here, who says you really should consider such
Speaker 2: and such, that makes me makes it easier because they're like, well,
Speaker 2: you're good, and you're suggesting them because now you're putting
Speaker 2: your job on the line, you know, So now you
Speaker 2: have this internal advocate. So all of my friends recently
Speaker 2: they've gotten new jobs, there has been an internal advocate
Speaker 2: or some sort of external advocate that knows somebody internally
Speaker 2: that allows them to get over the last hump. So
Speaker 2: you know, that's the thing. It really is like you
Speaker 2: got to know somebody and so you really should be
Speaker 2: I know, Mandy, you've said this so many times before
Speaker 2: here on the show, but also to your Mandy moneymakers.
Speaker 2: Is that like let people know you're looking. Let's your friends,
Speaker 2: your friend's friends, your friends, like, let them make the
Speaker 2: phone call and reach out and you should get such
Speaker 2: and such. He's amazing. So yeah, I know that the
Speaker 2: advice that you give a lot.
Speaker 3: To brag on yourself, and I'll give it again till
Speaker 3: I'm blue in the face, because it's still hard. And
Speaker 3: it's one thing because we're so good at advocating for
Speaker 3: others women I'm talking about women of color in general,
Speaker 3: Like we love to cheer each other on, but when
Speaker 3: it comes time for us to need something, it is
Speaker 3: really hard. I see it every day, you know you,
Speaker 3: Mandy money Makers recently were let go and I hopped
Speaker 3: on a call with them to kind of talk them
Speaker 3: through the severiance agreement and stuff, and one of them
Speaker 3: was like, you know, should I post it on LinkedIn?
Speaker 3: Like should I let people know? She was feeling the
Speaker 3: shame of it, you know, because she had been through
Speaker 3: my coaching really active on LinkedIn and sharing her wins.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, hell, yes, you need to,
Speaker 3: but you own the story when you post about it.
Speaker 3: You own the story in terms of I've been let go,
Speaker 3: but here's what I've accomplished in the last you know,
Speaker 3: one and a half years that I've been here, and
Speaker 3: now I'm looking I can't wait to bring this value
Speaker 3: to another team. And when I tell you, she already
Speaker 3: has an interview with one of her top companies. Yes
Speaker 3: I was. I was like, yeah, yes because someone Yes,
Speaker 3: because someone saw her post who knew the head of HR.
Speaker 3: She didn't know the head of HR, but someone she
Speaker 3: knew was connected to them, and so when they posted
Speaker 3: on her comments and on her post that HR person,
Speaker 3: it showed up in their feed. And I'm like, this
Speaker 3: is why we be out there on the LinkedIn streets, okay,
Speaker 3: sharing and as an uncomfortable as it is, Yeah, vulnerability
Speaker 3: can can pay off in that way.
Speaker 2: I love that. Should we take a break so we
Speaker 2: can do brown boots brown break? We haven't done when
Speaker 2: in so long?
Speaker 3: Oh, I gotta think of something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 1: All right, we be right back in black for more.
Speaker 1: We're back and now it's time to boost up. Break up,
Speaker 1: boost up, break up, boost up? Break Are you gonna boost?
Speaker 1: Are you gonna break?
Speaker 2: What you're gonna do? What you're going to see? I'm
Speaker 2: going to boost. I'm trying to think I'm gonna make
Speaker 2: this okay. So I have this opportunity where I get
Speaker 2: to contract out if you live in the Tri state area,
Speaker 2: especially New Jersey, I'm gonna be doing this like two
Speaker 2: year your summer program, all things personal finance for elementary,
Speaker 2: middle school, and high school, right, and so I get
Speaker 2: to hire other financial education I love that, you know,
Speaker 2: and so I'm just like, you know, so I'm actually
Speaker 2: gonna put it out there, you know, go ahead on
Speaker 2: and contact me. You can sign to my DMS or
Speaker 2: just email me Tiffany at the Bunchanista that I'm so
Speaker 2: glad that I'm in a space now where I get
Speaker 2: to pass on opportunities. So if you're a financial educator,
Speaker 2: if you have a curriculum, it doesn't have to be
Speaker 2: K through twelve, but if you have an elementary school
Speaker 2: curriculum and then a high school clipper or middle school,
Speaker 2: either one of those three or all three all together,
Speaker 2: and especially if you are open to teaching that curriculum
Speaker 2: in person, it would be a new jersey. Let us
Speaker 2: just to know, because I'm going to be hiring because
Speaker 2: I got this great opportunity and I get to bring
Speaker 2: on a team, and I'm like, I don't want to
Speaker 2: do all the work myself. I'm much rather slide some
Speaker 2: coins on to y'all. So that's my boost, that the
Speaker 2: opportunity to be able to put on other people, and
Speaker 2: just the gratefulness that these things come to me and
Speaker 2: then I can share them as well. So, like I said,
Speaker 2: if you if that sounds like you are somebody you know,
Speaker 2: go ahead and share. Now here's the thing. I gotta
Speaker 2: make a choice by the end of the month. So
Speaker 2: if you're listening to this like ten years from now.
Speaker 3: By, you get an extra Yeah, you get an extra day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So February twenty what is it, the twenty ninth?
Speaker 2: Is that? Okay? Yeah, so February twenty ninth, because I
Speaker 2: got to make my decision by March fifth, So I'm
Speaker 2: gonna at the end of the twenty ninth, I'm not
Speaker 2: making I'm not taking any on any new folks. So
Speaker 2: so yeah, so if you're interested, email me Tiffany at
Speaker 2: the Budgetista dot com and yeah, and just tell me yes,
Speaker 2: I have a curriculum, or yes I have a curriculum
Speaker 2: and I want to teach or whatever, and then we'll see.
Speaker 2: We'll see I mean cool, I mean extra well, your
Speaker 2: this is brown ambishion. Everyone is welcome. I'll just say
Speaker 2: everybody's welcome.
Speaker 3: We got it. I thought this show was all about
Speaker 3: just saying the things I know.
Speaker 2: Yes, ideally, because you can be working with children of
Speaker 2: color yeah, that's always like an amazing opportunity to im
Speaker 2: just like I don't know, it takes a lot out
Speaker 2: of each of it.
Speaker 3: I spent twenty minutes with like some four year olds
Speaker 3: reading a book to them, and the energy I went
Speaker 3: I was trying to I really was bringing out my
Speaker 3: inner tab at the brown and it was a lot
Speaker 3: of fun. But the way I needed to nap after that,
Speaker 3: my introverted self.
Speaker 2: He's not free school teacher. It's not for the faint
Speaker 2: of heart.
Speaker 3: It's a lot of introverted school teacher for little kids.
Speaker 3: How is that? And then you got to go home
Speaker 3: and his teacher has like three kids of her own.
Speaker 3: Imagine God bless. I went right to her Amazon wishless
Speaker 3: and I stopped her up. I'm like, let me get
Speaker 3: you some things to distract them.
Speaker 2: But because they got a love on their baby, baby
Speaker 2: said love on there and they just be loving on
Speaker 2: the I mean, I love my kids. There was nothing
Speaker 2: I wouldn't give it. I'm like, oh, baby girl, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna get you that. Do you want what? And so?
Speaker 2: But I couldn't even make it all the way home.
Speaker 2: There used to be a Walmart parking lot where I
Speaker 2: would it was. My house is a forty like a
Speaker 2: forty minute drive home twenty minutes in. I'm like, I
Speaker 2: used to pull into the parking like the secret little
Speaker 2: spots park and take a nap, a thirty minute nap
Speaker 2: to make it the rest of it.
Speaker 3: That's yes, I mean that's just safe driving. You know,
Speaker 3: it's very responsible. But I've never felt more. Yeah, I see,
Speaker 3: I see you, and I have been that person in
Speaker 3: the parking lot of BJ's. I'm not going to tell
Speaker 3: you all the spot, but the trick is don't go
Speaker 3: to the back of the parking lot though, because that's
Speaker 3: where the weirdos hang out. Yes, you need to go
Speaker 3: to the front. Yeah, I'm going to do. I want
Speaker 3: to do a little boost for the book that I
Speaker 3: did end up reading in Rio's classroom. It was such
Speaker 3: a beautiful book. It was called a Computer called Catherine.
Speaker 3: So it's about Catherine Johnson, the mathematician who you know
Speaker 3: the whole movie about her, Taraji p Henson played her
Speaker 3: and Hidden Figures. And it's such a lovely book. I'm
Speaker 3: going to figure out the author beautifully illustrated. The story
Speaker 3: is so cute, perfect for kids. I was a little
Speaker 3: stressed about like, how do I I want to go
Speaker 3: in there and read a story. I don't want to
Speaker 3: tell them about black history ones like they're four years old.
Speaker 3: You know, I'm not trying to. But I did talk
Speaker 3: about how we all have different skin colors and how
Speaker 3: sometimes or in the past, if you had different skin colors,
Speaker 3: you'd be treated differently. People didn't want you to go
Speaker 3: to school. And you know, I was like, and everyone
Speaker 3: started holding up their little hands and like I have
Speaker 3: Peach scan, I have tan scan.
Speaker 2: It was so Cat was like me, I saw the victory.
Speaker 2: I was like, I know, he's like my mom's at school.
Speaker 3: The way he kept trying to interrupt me, I was like,
Speaker 3: you know, like, yes, mom, I know a computer called Katherine.
Speaker 3: It is by Susanne Slade with illustrations by Veronica Miller Jamison.
Speaker 3: Just a beautiful book. So if you're looking for a
Speaker 3: good and what I loved is is about a woman
Speaker 3: of color. His class is eleven girls, five boys. The
Speaker 3: estrogen is on another level. I don't know four year
Speaker 3: olds have that yet, but anyway, so I just loved
Speaker 3: It's a great example of and you know, a girl
Speaker 3: who's into math and all that. Let me do a
Speaker 3: boost for that. Let me do a boost for m.
Speaker 3: Do I go like funny or do I go serious?
Speaker 3: I'll go serious, So tiff nos, because I talked to
Speaker 3: you the other today, and I'll try to do it
Speaker 3: a lot quicker than the winding conversation I trapped Tiffany
Speaker 3: into last week. But my mindset, I've been working on
Speaker 3: a new mindset about motherhood and business owner and author.
Speaker 3: And the very simple way to describe it is like
Speaker 3: I've spent a lot of time or I find myself
Speaker 3: kind of getting into like resent full mindsets, like where
Speaker 3: I resent the lack of time I have, and I
Speaker 3: you know, I feel like time is is my anxiety right.
Speaker 3: Time is constantly chasing me down. I'm trapped between two walls.
Speaker 3: And you know, a daytime, like a day for me
Speaker 3: is after the kids are dropped off at school and
Speaker 3: when I have to pick them up, and it feels
Speaker 3: like I'm in Indiana Jones and the walls are kind
Speaker 3: of and the clock is ticking and I'm just getting
Speaker 3: squished and there's not enough time to do all the
Speaker 3: things I want to do and I could do so
Speaker 3: much more if I just had more time. Blah blah,
Speaker 3: blah blah blah. Well, one thing that has really just
Speaker 3: like clicked for me in the past week has been
Speaker 3: this space of appreciation and gratitude for the children I have,
Speaker 3: for the life I have, and for the ability that
Speaker 3: I have to do the things like to do the
Speaker 3: mom stuff, to do the go to Rio's school and
Speaker 3: read to him, and you know, take Remy a new
Speaker 3: outfit when he has a blowout diaper and he's run
Speaker 3: through all of the sparclothes, and to kind of accept
Speaker 3: and appreciate and just shift from I have to do
Speaker 3: these things. There's not enough time to I am able.
Speaker 3: I get to do these things. And I'm taking that
Speaker 3: approach not just to the home stuff but my work life.
Speaker 3: You know, I was talking to my publisher, Krashan at Hashet.
Speaker 3: Shout out to Kashan, and I went to their offices
Speaker 3: and it was so cool to see the office. I mean,
Speaker 3: eight year old me was just singing. I was so
Speaker 3: happy just to be that in that space, and I
Speaker 3: was like, I don't feel like I have to write
Speaker 3: this book. I feel like I get to write this book.
Speaker 3: What a privilege I get to write this book. I
Speaker 3: get to spend time creating content that can help people
Speaker 3: because somehow I get to do this business and I
Speaker 3: get to do a podcast with you that helps pay
Speaker 3: the mortgage, you know, like I get to do these
Speaker 3: things and it sounds real simple, But I feel like
Speaker 3: I lost that gratitude mindset and I found it again,
Speaker 3: and I have been totally. My husband's like, what's different.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I worked on myself. I stopped expecting other
Speaker 3: people to fix, you know, my struggles, and just like
Speaker 3: change my mindset and it's really really working. So if
Speaker 3: that sounds like you, and it sounds like something you're
Speaker 3: struggling with and it's frustrating to hear, but sometimes it
Speaker 3: has to start with you and the way that you
Speaker 3: were thinking about things and how much that's causing the
Speaker 3: stress and the anxiety. And I can't wait to tell
Speaker 3: my therapist about it. She'll probably be so proud.
Speaker 2: You know, we talked about that perspective is so because
Speaker 2: I remember I told you that when Maid Whole came out,
Speaker 2: I was so stressed and was so overwhelmed, and so
Speaker 2: I didn't want to do it. I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2: I was like, I mean I wanted to. I wanted
Speaker 2: the workbook to be out there to help people, but
Speaker 2: I didn't want to market it, and I thought like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, it's so much. But then when gegr
Speaker 2: Money came out to your prior girl, it was way more.
Speaker 2: I mean, I did like eighty podcasts, like every show
Speaker 2: you can imagine, and I didn't feel overwhelmed. Did I
Speaker 2: feel like it was a lot of work. But I
Speaker 2: was having such a good time. Remember I came up
Speaker 2: here excited, and when I said what was the difference,
Speaker 2: it was the perspective one Gerrau was still here. I
Speaker 2: didn't realize that when Maide Whole came out, he passed
Speaker 2: away in November November sixteenth, and made Whole came out
Speaker 2: November twenty. First, I didn't give grief enough credit that
Speaker 2: I didn't realize that I was. That time of year
Speaker 2: was hard. I didn't honestly, I was like, what's wrong
Speaker 2: with you? Tifany that? Like, girl, why did you have
Speaker 2: this book come out in November? You know, because that
Speaker 2: doesn't make sense, you know, because I was heavily grieving,
Speaker 2: but did not know that I was, because I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: it's been two years. Of course, I know I'm always
Speaker 2: gonna grieve, but I didn't realize that. I didn't know
Speaker 2: that grief could have a heavier weight during times a year.
Speaker 2: I guess I just always felt like you're just always grieving.
Speaker 2: It's like, no, there are times of year that it's
Speaker 2: greater than others. So I say all that to say
Speaker 2: that my perspective was these two books. One that was
Speaker 2: way more work didn't feel like work, and one that
Speaker 2: was way less felt like too much work because of
Speaker 2: my perspective. So absolutely it's the internal work. You know that.
Speaker 2: It's like how you see and feel a thing is
Speaker 2: how it shows up for you externally. And knowing that
Speaker 2: I'm more mindful, like are there any other trigger days
Speaker 2: like our anniversary, his birthday? Like let me be mindful?
Speaker 2: Like girl, Like if you're feeling heavy and you're like
Speaker 2: I don't know what's wrong, you know like, oh, this
Speaker 2: could be the reason. And so I love that that
Speaker 2: you're realizing that, like, okay, that this internal work, you know,
Speaker 2: my perspective will shift how I see and how I
Speaker 2: navigate the world. And you don't ever want to be
Speaker 2: right about the wrong thing. You ever see somebody who
Speaker 2: was like, well everything just sucks, It's like, well, why
Speaker 2: would you want to win that battle. That life is terrible.
Speaker 2: I don't want to win that battle. I don't want
Speaker 2: to as Monique.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just didn't like the way my it was bad.
Speaker 3: It was just you're like dragging yourself down.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like you argue for your own limitations. That's
Speaker 2: what this woman told me. It was a life changing sentiment.
Speaker 2: I was going back and forth here. I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is not working. The business is not doing so good.
Speaker 2: And she was like, why don't you try this? I
Speaker 2: was like, no, that's not going to work. Why don't
Speaker 2: you going to work? She said, Oh, I get it.
Speaker 2: I'm not doing this with you. You're arguing for your
Speaker 2: own limitations.
Speaker 3: I was like, that's exactly what I'm doing doing. I
Speaker 3: was like, Wolse is always dirty. It's just going to
Speaker 3: be dirty. Yes, it doesn't matter if I clean it.
Speaker 3: And now I live in a dirty house and I'm
Speaker 3: a dirty person and knowing I.
Speaker 2: Mean, And she's like, why would you want to win
Speaker 2: that war?
Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, you win.
Speaker 2: You're right, life's surrendered, yes, and so one you realize
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't want to argue for I don't
Speaker 2: want to win if I'm arguing for less of a
Speaker 2: life for myself. Why would I want to win that?
Speaker 2: And so I'm like, no, we're not doing that, Tiffany. No,
Speaker 2: So I love that. So I just say all that
Speaker 2: that's to say that I love that.
Speaker 3: As I mopped the floor, I'm like, this might be
Speaker 3: a little too far. I'm like, I'm so grateful I
Speaker 3: have a floor. Yeah, I look at this house that
Speaker 3: we bought, and let's take some pride in it.
Speaker 2: To the fact that I don't think we take for
Speaker 2: granted the fact that you can walk, you can see,
Speaker 2: you can hear, you can.
Speaker 3: Yes, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Like, there's so much like, you know, we I think
Speaker 2: about that all the time. I have friends who have
Speaker 2: trouble walking, you know, my friends who have trouble seeing,
Speaker 2: Like they're like, I'm slowly losing my sight. I have
Speaker 2: friends who you know what I mean, and it's just like, Wow,
Speaker 2: we take for granted a thing until that thing is
Speaker 2: not there.
Speaker 3: Can I just say, for the record, I'm really grateful
Speaker 3: for my left hip because she is very creaky and
Speaker 3: I need her to last me another like fifties. And
Speaker 3: I'm like, baby girl, you like need to work on this.
Speaker 3: I want to help you.
Speaker 2: I will say that if you have me. So if
Speaker 2: you have a treadmill, walking backwards helps to actually strengthen
Speaker 2: your knees. Because I helped. My knees were creaky.
Speaker 3: I said, I know everything is weak as my body is.
Speaker 3: I need to do heavy weight lifting it is, Yes,
Speaker 3: I need to.
Speaker 2: Jumping rope helps too, you know, with them with bone density.
Speaker 2: Just so you know, I.
Speaker 3: Did go through a jump rope phase.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we take I love that, you said. I was
Speaker 2: looking at my jump with the other day.
Speaker 3: It was looking at girl. Yes, you know.
Speaker 2: I told us, I said, let me get my osteoporosis,
Speaker 2: anti osteoporosis, or I wanted to get my jump.
Speaker 3: Listen, if you want to rock with us into our
Speaker 3: forties and fifties, they're going to have a lot of paramenopozzle, osteoporosis,
Speaker 3: bone density, chatter, and y'all welcome to come along.
Speaker 2: Okay, Because as a as a terror taper that Brown
Speaker 2: calls it Perry. She said, why ain't y'all tell me
Speaker 2: about Perry? Got over here sweating, not sleeping to the night.
Speaker 3: I love it so much, the bridge so that I
Speaker 3: can follow behind me.
Speaker 2: So I love that she's normalizing. I'm like, oh, is
Speaker 2: that Perry. I don't know if I'm in Perry. I
Speaker 2: guess I got ask my doctor. I don't think so.
Speaker 2: But you never know. You never have mercy. But we're
Speaker 2: gonna see you guys on Friday for b A q A.
Speaker 2: Thank you for rocking with us. You know, from single
Speaker 2: girls out and about to marry, girls in the house
Speaker 2: to Mama's to Lord Creaky. We're gonna be the nursing
Speaker 2: home like, hey, y'all, Hey, hey, what's my name again?
Speaker 2: What day is it?
Speaker 3: I don't want to hear this time for the q
Speaker 3: A baby, I went.
Speaker 2: Y'all on Friday, So can you lay there? Bye?
Speaker 3: Mhm