Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central monkey pocks. This morning, the
Speaker 1: World Health Organization announced that, because of concerns that the
Speaker 1: word monkey pocks is racist and stigmatizing the disease, will
Speaker 1: officially be renamed M pocks. And I don't know who
Speaker 1: this is for. You know, all this sounds like they
Speaker 1: were trying so hard not to be racist that they
Speaker 1: ended up being racist. You know. Some guy was like,
Speaker 1: we can't use monkey. That immediately makes me think of
Speaker 1: you know, all right, come on, we're all thinking it, right.
Speaker 1: I might there only on because here's the thing. If
Speaker 1: you're really trying to get rid of the stigma, just
Speaker 1: give it a completely different name, all right, because you
Speaker 1: realize just abbreviating the word that you don't want people
Speaker 1: to think about, which works until someone says what the
Speaker 1: M stand for. Ah. In international news, a French court
Speaker 1: has officially ruled that companies cannot require employees to have
Speaker 1: fun at work, after one man was fired for refusing
Speaker 1: to participate in office parties. Yeah, and I'll tell you now,
Speaker 1: I am with this guy. Yeah, if you ask me,
Speaker 1: companies require way too much of their employees or making
Speaker 1: them go to office parties, team buildings, You're forcing them
Speaker 1: to wash their hands after going into the bathroom. Is
Speaker 1: too much? You gotta pick one. Oh. In some news
Speaker 1: out of the Pentagon, the U. S Defense Department just
Speaker 1: failed a government audit, with officials saying that they are
Speaker 1: unable to account for more than sixty of the military's
Speaker 1: three point five trillion dollars in assets. Yeah, they just
Speaker 1: don't know where it is. And I don't I don't
Speaker 1: even know how it's possible to lose track of that
Speaker 1: much money. Like, what are they water boarding people with Christal?
Speaker 1: What are they doing there? Huh? And honestly, the Pentagon
Speaker 1: deserves to be punt for this. Unfortunately, they happened to
Speaker 1: have all the missiles, So we'll let it slide. This
Speaker 1: time bent'ter gone, but next time. All right, let's move
Speaker 1: on to some of the bigges stories of the day,
Speaker 1: starting with China America's loan shock that since the coronavirus
Speaker 1: originated in one of China's major cities, Jijing Ping's government
Speaker 1: has been doing everything it can to clamp down on
Speaker 1: COVID nineteen. But after three hours of some of the
Speaker 1: strictest lockdowns in the world, it looks like the Chinese
Speaker 1: people have officially had enough. Protests are spreading across that country.
Speaker 1: Thousands are taking to the streets, some even calling for
Speaker 1: China's president to step down. All of this amid rising
Speaker 1: frustration over the government's zero COVID strategy. Crowd swelled and
Speaker 1: defiance spilling over to the heart of Beijing right out
Speaker 1: chanting for freedom from the grip of the COVID policy
Speaker 1: that protesters say has worn on too long. They're calling
Speaker 1: for the end of lockdown, is the end of testing
Speaker 1: all of the zero COVID measures that have ruled daily
Speaker 1: life here. Yeah, that's right. People in China are taking
Speaker 1: to the streets to protest the government's draconian COVID policies,
Speaker 1: which is a big deal because remember, China is not
Speaker 1: one of those chill countries, because like talk trash about
Speaker 1: the government, or storm the capitol, or plot to kidnap
Speaker 1: a governor. No, no, no, no. Protesting in China is
Speaker 1: a big deal. It's like growing up in an African
Speaker 1: family and trying to tell your parents that you don't
Speaker 1: think Noah's ark is real, you know, because like I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, Mom, think about it. How can they fit
Speaker 1: all those animals on one ball to be like the
Speaker 1: same way I'm going to fit all this foots on
Speaker 1: your back side? Are you saying that it is not real?
Speaker 1: You send that faflore? Just just something now. Now, there
Speaker 1: are many reasons why China has been so hard core
Speaker 1: with its lockdowns. Right, less than half of the elderly
Speaker 1: population is vaccinated, The Chinese vaccine isn't particularly effective, and
Speaker 1: the Communist government has refew used to bring in outside
Speaker 1: vaccines obviously because they think it will make them look bad.
Speaker 1: You know, what's the same reason I was reluctant to
Speaker 1: bring a dudo into my relationship. Yeah, I don't mind
Speaker 1: that you use it, but the fact that you cuddle
Speaker 1: with it off towards that's what hurts me, Candice, That's
Speaker 1: what hurts me. And almost three years into this pandemic,
Speaker 1: it is still crazy to see the range of responses
Speaker 1: from different countries around the world. Right, China shuts down
Speaker 1: an entire city if one person coughs. Meanwhile Americans are like, hey, guys,
Speaker 1: I tested positive for COVID, So I'm just gonna play
Speaker 1: the first few rounds of spend the bottle tonight. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's be responsible, but let's move on from a dictatorship
Speaker 1: to someone who wishes they could stop their own Donald,
Speaker 1: You making me crazy Trump. Ever since Donald Trump announced
Speaker 1: that he would be running for election, many have been wondering,
Speaker 1: will this finally be the moment when he becomes presidential? Well,
Speaker 1: judging by his recent dinner party with Kanye West, the
Speaker 1: computer says no. Former President Donald Trump is facing fierce
Speaker 1: criticism tonight, even from his own allies, for having dinner
Speaker 1: at his Moral Lago estate with controversial musician Kanye West
Speaker 1: and white supremacist Nick Flentes. If you're not familiar, Fluentes
Speaker 1: is this high profile figure on the far right holocaust denier,
Speaker 1: but he's best known for running the America First Organization, which,
Speaker 1: according to the A d L Quote, seeks to forge
Speaker 1: a white nationalist alternative to the mainstream GOP. Even for
Speaker 1: Donald Trump, this was outrageous, okay. First of all, First
Speaker 1: of all, this whole story sounds like the set up
Speaker 1: to one of those jokes that your uncle tells you
Speaker 1: at dinner, you know, Like, Okay, So a racist billion nian,
Speaker 1: anti Semitic rapper and a white supremacist walking to a
Speaker 1: bar and then what happened to hold on the black
Speaker 1: weight is coming. Hold a diet? Could please? Thank you?
Speaker 1: Thank you. Secondly, why do journalists still act surprised when
Speaker 1: Donald Trump does Donald Trump stuff? Uh? Even for Donald Trump?
Speaker 1: This is what do you mean? Even for Donald Trump?
Speaker 1: Is Donald Trump doing Donald Trump? Trump having dinner with
Speaker 1: Nazis is not outrageous. He had dinner with vegetables. That
Speaker 1: would be outrageous. That would be crazy. What yeah and
Speaker 1: he was spelling words what. But because of this dinner,
Speaker 1: Trump has taken a lot of flak from all sides,
Speaker 1: and so, in classic Trump style, he sent out a
Speaker 1: few posts about why. As for usual, he isn't to
Speaker 1: blame for anything that he did. But Mr Trump tried
Speaker 1: distancing himself, posting on social media that West called me
Speaker 1: to have dinner, expressed no anti Semitism, and claimed I
Speaker 1: didn't know Nick Fuentes Yeah yeah yeah. And Trump's defense,
Speaker 1: I mean, how would he know that the guy Kanye
Speaker 1: rolls with could be a white supremacist? I mean I
Speaker 1: get what he's saying. He's like, I just wanted to
Speaker 1: have dinner with this, and I sent out I didn't
Speaker 1: know he was going to bring a friend. Because I
Speaker 1: love how Trump tries to immunize himself by saying, Kanye
Speaker 1: expressed no anti Semitism at the dinner, and then what,
Speaker 1: I'm also sure he didn't wrap up the dinner, but
Speaker 1: you still know that he's a wrapper. Now you might
Speaker 1: be wondering, if Kanye didn't want to talk anti semitism
Speaker 1: at the dinner table, what did he want to talk about. Well,
Speaker 1: apparently he was trying to convince Trump to not run
Speaker 1: for president, but not in the way you think. The
Speaker 1: dinner was not completely amiable. Trump became angry when West
Speaker 1: asked the presidential candidate to serve as running mate for
Speaker 1: West's own newly announced presidential bid, posting this video to
Speaker 1: Twitter titled mar Lago Debrief, explaining he asked if Trump
Speaker 1: would be his vice presidential running mate at the dinner.
Speaker 1: I think the thing that Trump was most perturbed about
Speaker 1: me asking him to be my vice president. But then
Speaker 1: he goes on to say that Kim is that you
Speaker 1: can tell her. I said that, and I was thinking, like,
Speaker 1: that's the mother of my children. Trump started basically screaming
Speaker 1: at me at the table, telling me I was gonna lose.
Speaker 1: I mean, has that ever worked for anyone in history?
Speaker 1: I'm like hold on, hold on, Trump, you're talking to ya. Okay.
Speaker 1: First of all, Kanye, whoever made his video, they bleeped
Speaker 1: him when he said the thing that Trump said, And
Speaker 1: I'm going you have people that bleep you, why don't
Speaker 1: you use them more? He should be like, here's what
Speaker 1: I think about the bood. And also the fact that
Speaker 1: Trump got so mad at Kanye just shows you, like
Speaker 1: where his priorities are. Right, Here's no problem hosting a
Speaker 1: guy who wants to go death con three on the
Speaker 1: Jews or the Holocaust deny that he brought to dinner
Speaker 1: with him who he got along with. But if you
Speaker 1: ever suggest he should be number two on someone's take
Speaker 1: at Trump would be like, you discuss me, sir, talk
Speaker 1: like that. There's no place in America. We don't talk
Speaker 1: like that in this gut jam. Can I get where
Speaker 1: Trump is coming from? Kanye is asking Trump to be
Speaker 1: his Mike Pence, and Trump is probably like you, I
Speaker 1: could never be Mike Bench. I have sex with my
Speaker 1: eyes open. The World Cup with the United States has
Speaker 1: moved on to the round of sixteen after defeating your
Speaker 1: own one zero. Guess that's such an amazing win for them.
Speaker 1: It means that they go to the next round and
Speaker 1: they now get to say Iran instead of Iran. In Hawaii,
Speaker 1: the world's largest active volcano has just begun erupting for
Speaker 1: the first time in thirty eight years, which is a shame.
Speaker 1: Another brother fallen during no not November. It was so close, man,
Speaker 1: it was so close. In now the Science News, researchers
Speaker 1: have now reanimated a so called zombie virus that has
Speaker 1: lain dormant under the Arctic ice for nearly fifty thousand years. Yeah. Now,
Speaker 1: the good news is that Joe Biden is immune. He
Speaker 1: already had it as a kid. And I know, I
Speaker 1: know a lot of people are worried. They're like, why
Speaker 1: are we doing this? It is dangerous to mess with
Speaker 1: viruses this way, But think about the people. It's actually
Speaker 1: pretty smart because these viruses are eventually going to emerge
Speaker 1: anyway when the ice caps melt. So the quicker we
Speaker 1: can learn about them, the quicker we can make a
Speaker 1: vaccine that no one will take. Oh and in some
Speaker 1: legal news, a Florida woman is suing Craft Foods over
Speaker 1: it's microwave mac and cheese, arguing that while the box
Speaker 1: says it's ready in three and a half minutes. That
Speaker 1: doesn't include the amount of time it takes to add
Speaker 1: the water and then wait for the sauce to thicken.
Speaker 1: And you can laugh, but she's rights. I mean, the
Speaker 1: box doesn't even include the time it takes for me
Speaker 1: to cry over the fact that I have to eat
Speaker 1: craftmac and cheese for dinner. That's another forty five minutes.
Speaker 1: And you know, stories like this make you think about it.
Speaker 1: He must be so hard for the lawyer who works
Speaker 1: in a case like this to discuss their work with
Speaker 1: their peers. You know, they like they're just sitting in
Speaker 1: the rooms, like I'm working on a case to protect
Speaker 1: the right to abortion in the South. It's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm working on it. A case to shut down a
Speaker 1: company that's been poisoning the water of poor communities. How
Speaker 1: about you, Ellen, It's like, well, you know, you know
Speaker 1: how sometimes back and cheese takes longer to make than
Speaker 1: you expect. All right, well, let's move on to some
Speaker 1: of the biggest stories of the day. Slot with the
Speaker 1: ongoing firestorm facing Donald Trump, former presidents and host of
Speaker 1: the most disturbing dinner since the one Jeffrey Dahma had
Speaker 1: last week. Trump Ate dinner at Marlonga with Kanye West
Speaker 1: and a prominent white supremacist named Nick Fuentez. And we
Speaker 1: don't know exactly what happened at that dinner except that
Speaker 1: nobody at Luckys. But apparently a lot of Republicans don't
Speaker 1: think it's a great look for the leader of their
Speaker 1: party to be splitting apps with neo Nazis. Donald Trump
Speaker 1: facing growing backlash to his dinner last week with prominent
Speaker 1: white nationalist Nick fuent Is. Republican politicians now among those
Speaker 1: calling out the former president. I think there's has been
Speaker 1: clear that there's no bottom to the degree to which
Speaker 1: President Trump will degrade himself and the nation. Well, thank you,
Speaker 1: make better choices. Obviously that was a bad decision. There's
Speaker 1: no place for that in the Republican Party. President Trump
Speaker 1: was wrong to give a white nationalist, an anti semid
Speaker 1: and Holocaust denier a seat at the table, and I
Speaker 1: think he should apologize for it. Uh, and he should
Speaker 1: denounce those individuals and their hateful rhetoric without qualification. Let
Speaker 1: me just say that there is no room and repel
Speaker 1: looking party any semitism or white supremacy. That's rob there's
Speaker 1: no rule at all. But cross we're already fault. I mean,
Speaker 1: we don't have room for someone who hates doth rockets.
Speaker 1: That would be a new one. You know, It's so
Speaker 1: funny watching Republicans try to chastise Trump for hanging out
Speaker 1: with someone who has the exact same views as him
Speaker 1: without chastising Trump for having those views right. Because here's
Speaker 1: the thing, I'm willing to believe. I'm willing to believe
Speaker 1: that Trump didn't know who Nick Fluences was when he
Speaker 1: came to his dinner, As Trump says, I'm willing to
Speaker 1: believe that, But you've gotta admit it says a lot
Speaker 1: about him that he enjoyed this man's company and everything
Speaker 1: that he had to say. Al Right, Like, if your
Speaker 1: friend brings doth vade to your house for dinner, that's
Speaker 1: not your faults. But fifteen minutes in, any decent person
Speaker 1: would be like, I'm not comfortable with how much this
Speaker 1: guy talks about blowing up planets. Also, why is he
Speaker 1: wearing a mask? We've all been tested and it is nice.
Speaker 1: It is nice to see Republican officials speak out against
Speaker 1: Trump for a change, but we all know how this
Speaker 1: is gonna end. Republicans get mad at Trump for a
Speaker 1: little while, and then they always get back together with
Speaker 1: him in the end. Trump scandals are basically like Hallmark movies,
Speaker 1: you know, except Trump never actually changes and becomes a
Speaker 1: better person. It's just like Donald, either you choose your
Speaker 1: career or you choose me. Like, well, I choose my career. Okay,
Speaker 1: you can't have me too, Donald. But let's move on
Speaker 1: to some news about trains, or as I call them,
Speaker 1: choo choo trains. You may think about trains is just
Speaker 1: a form of transport or a place where people gather
Speaker 1: to solve murders, but they're not just that. It turns
Speaker 1: out that trains are responsible for carrying billions of dollars
Speaker 1: in goods across America every year. But over the past
Speaker 1: few months, railroad workers have been trying to negotiate better
Speaker 1: working conditions with the railroads, and the dispute has gotten
Speaker 1: so bad that now President Biden Amtrak Joe himself is
Speaker 1: stepping in. President biding his client Congress to a vertal
Speaker 1: looming rail strike and impose a settlement that some union
Speaker 1: members are rejected. The President's involvement signals a major for
Speaker 1: him he that could potentially pit him against his union allies.
Speaker 1: But right now, George, he says that that he was
Speaker 1: reluctant to get involved in this one, but the potential
Speaker 1: that cripple, that this could cripple the economy was just
Speaker 1: too much. A strike could threaten everything from farming and
Speaker 1: food to crucial chemicals for clean water, causing major supply
Speaker 1: change disruptions. Yeah, that's right. A railroad strike wouldn't just
Speaker 1: inconvenience passengers. It would devastate the entire economy, which you've
Speaker 1: got to admit sounds weird in two right, No, it
Speaker 1: does because railroads feel so old timing and it was
Speaker 1: like all the railroad and the like. It will devastate
Speaker 1: the economy. And now is like finding out you're losing
Speaker 1: your job because the whale hunters union went on strike.
Speaker 1: But I welcome computers. Yeah, well, actually the internet runs
Speaker 1: on whale oil. What are you gonna do now? The
Speaker 1: situation is complex, but basically, some railroad unions are threatening
Speaker 1: to strike because despite railroad companies making billions in profits,
Speaker 1: workers schedules are so unpredictable that they can't plan their
Speaker 1: lives and they definitely don't get nearly enough sick days,
Speaker 1: which they deserve, especially because every few train rides they
Speaker 1: have to climb on the roof because they hear a
Speaker 1: sound and as James Bonden is coming to punch them
Speaker 1: and take over the train. That's at least a mental
Speaker 1: health day. So it's kind of messed up for Joe
Speaker 1: Biden to step in and forbid the workers from striking.
Speaker 1: You know, that's the only points of leverage that workers have.
Speaker 1: If they can't strike, what are they supposed to do
Speaker 1: and be like, all right, we'll run the trains, but
Speaker 1: when we blow the whistle, it's gonna be real sad
Speaker 1: to too. At the same time, though, I can see
Speaker 1: why Joe Biden is willing to stop the unions from
Speaker 1: going on strike. He can't have the economy take a
Speaker 1: hit on his watch. His administration has enough problems, high
Speaker 1: interest rates, war in Europe. They can't find a center
Speaker 1: for Pete Boudhage. Times are hard, But if anyone can
Speaker 1: solve a train crisis, it's Joe Biden. This man has
Speaker 1: spent his whole life obsessed with trains. This is his moment.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine he's made for him? This is like
Speaker 1: if Trump had to solve the crisis involving the mac
Speaker 1: rib You know, he's just buy everyone out of the room. Millennia,
Speaker 1: give me the Hamburglar and I secure and we're gonna
Speaker 1: solve this. But this isn't yet another reminder of all
Speaker 1: the things happening in the supply chain that we all
Speaker 1: just take for granted. Right, we take it all for granted,
Speaker 1: because a banana doesn't just show up in a grocery store.
Speaker 1: Somebody grows a tree in Costa Rica, and then it's
Speaker 1: picked and it's loaded onto a truck and then a ship,
Speaker 1: all right, and then another truck and then a train
Speaker 1: and then another truck. And that's when you buy it
Speaker 1: at the store. You put it on your counter and
Speaker 1: you let it slowly rot before throwing it in the garbage.
Speaker 1: And that garbage is picked up by another truck and
Speaker 1: then it shipped back to Costa Rica. It's actually beautiful
Speaker 1: when you think about it. It's a circle of life.
Speaker 1: I fill out my ti Hi. Finally, history is full
Speaker 1: of famous feuds, you know, Godzilla versus Mathra, swift Ease
Speaker 1: versus ticket Master, herschel Walker versus Condoms. And now there's
Speaker 1: a new one. Elon Musk. The Wold's richest man is
Speaker 1: picking a fight with the world's richest company. Elon Musk
Speaker 1: has a beef with Apple. He claims the tech giant
Speaker 1: has threatened to pull Twitter from its app store, a
Speaker 1: move like that would, of course, crush Musk's new company.
Speaker 1: Musk tweeting a series of claims against Tim Cooking Company,
Speaker 1: calling out the iphonemaker for pulling back on advertising on
Speaker 1: the social platform, also complaining about the fifteen fee that
Speaker 1: is placed on app developers. Musk also said that Apple
Speaker 1: had threatened to remove Twitter from its app store as
Speaker 1: part of its review moderation process. He likened this move
Speaker 1: to a suppression of free speech. This is a battle
Speaker 1: for the future of civilization, he writes. A free speech
Speaker 1: is lost even in America. Tyranny is all that lies
Speaker 1: ahead by Elon, Tyranny. You can't you can't give the
Speaker 1: brave of speech about everything everything. This dude is walking
Speaker 1: around Twitter headquarters like this threatens the very existence of
Speaker 1: democracy and and kind and the gender is like, okay, jeez,
Speaker 1: I'll refill the paper towels. Stop shouting now. We should
Speaker 1: unpack this a bit because Elon went full on ludicrous
Speaker 1: mode yesterday with a bunch of different claims about Apple.
Speaker 1: The first thing he complained about was that Apple stopped
Speaker 1: advertising on Twitter, which he thinks is an attack on
Speaker 1: free speech. And maybe it's just me, but like, g
Speaker 1: also find it funny how free speech and giving Elon
Speaker 1: Musk money always seemed to be perfectly aligned, right, Elon's like, oh,
Speaker 1: so the world's most perfectly perfectly protected brand doesn't want
Speaker 1: ads showing up next to Nazi memes. I guess you
Speaker 1: believe in censorship. Secondly, Elon is bitching that Apple has
Speaker 1: threatened to drop Twitter from the app store, And if
Speaker 1: that's true, it's probably because Apple requires all of its
Speaker 1: apps to be safe, and Musk has essentially fired all
Speaker 1: the people who are responsible for content moderation and replaced
Speaker 1: them with a sign that just says, hey, don't post that.
Speaker 1: And the third point, the third point that Elon's crying about,
Speaker 1: is that Apple has too much power over iPhone apps. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because if he charges eight dollars a month for Twitter verification,
Speaker 1: Apple automatically gets to take up to of any money
Speaker 1: people spend in the app. Ellen doesn't want that. I mean,
Speaker 1: you can't afford to give Twitter's money away just because
Speaker 1: some idiot made him spend forty four billion dollars on
Speaker 1: an app that we all used for free. He can't
Speaker 1: afford that ship. And so that's where we are right now,
Speaker 1: the richest company versus the richest man in the world.
Speaker 1: And the stakes could not be higher because remember, the
Speaker 1: outcome of this war couldn't determine how we spend our
Speaker 1: time while we poop. Today is Spotify Wrapped Day. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: the day that Spotify looks at our music and reminds
Speaker 1: us that we're all a basic bitch. You know. I
Speaker 1: was thinking, thank god Tender doesn't do a year and
Speaker 1: wrap up just to remind you of all the terrible
Speaker 1: decisions you made on desperate nights. It's like, wow, I
Speaker 1: did a lot of people with pet snakes this year.
Speaker 1: In international news, the United Nations has officially added the
Speaker 1: French baguettes to the UNESCO World Heritage List, which it's cool,
Speaker 1: but it's another reminder that the United Nations really needs
Speaker 1: to eat lunch before making big decisions. It's like, should
Speaker 1: we give Chinese food a seats on the Security Council?
Speaker 1: I'm so hungry and you would think that this is great.
Speaker 1: Here's some of you clapping. Oh yeah, I love bagetts,
Speaker 1: which remember, now it's protected by the U. N. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so now every time you're trying to take a bite
Speaker 1: out of the baguette, a peacekeepers gonna jump out and
Speaker 1: kick your adds, Like stop that ship. Meanwhile, in presidential news,
Speaker 1: Joe Biden's Secret Service detail had a bit of a
Speaker 1: scare recently when five cars they had rented suddenly burst
Speaker 1: into flames after they were returned to her rent a car. Yeah. Now,
Speaker 1: the good news is Biden has got full coverage insurance.
Speaker 1: The bad news is Senator Republicans blocked it. So he's
Speaker 1: gonna need to borrow some money from Kamala now. But
Speaker 1: my question is why is the why is the Secret
Speaker 1: Service even renting? Cause from hurts I the person who
Speaker 1: was thrown by that with like, like what happens if
Speaker 1: the suv they want isn't there? What now the president
Speaker 1: is rocking up to a state dinner in a hunt day?
Speaker 1: Is that how it's gonna work? Oh and while we're
Speaker 1: talking about things exploding, experts say the United States is
Speaker 1: now facing a shortage of bomb sniffing dogs. Yeah, which
Speaker 1: probably explains how Morbius made it into theaters. And it
Speaker 1: makes sense, you know, when you think about it. Of course,
Speaker 1: this is always gonna happen. If you had the choice
Speaker 1: of being a bomb sniffing dog or a drug sniffing dog,
Speaker 1: what would you choose? What would you choose? So simple?
Speaker 1: Option A you might explode, Option be frea cocaine. I
Speaker 1: mean it is. It is hard for us humans though,
Speaker 1: you know, because now you know what this means. We're
Speaker 1: gonna have to resort to bomb sniffing cats. And then
Speaker 1: those are good. They can figure out where the bombs are,
Speaker 1: but they just won't tell us about it. The cat
Speaker 1: will be there like I have nine lives, bitch, not
Speaker 1: my problem. All right, let's move on to some of
Speaker 1: the biggest stories of the day, starting with the twenty
Speaker 1: two mid terms. And I know what you're saying right now,
Speaker 1: you like, for Trevor, the mid terms are over. I
Speaker 1: killed them. I watched them die. Well you thought you did,
Speaker 1: but you never took a headshot. And after you left,
Speaker 1: the mid terms busted out of the dirt. And now
Speaker 1: they're back because down in Georgia they're just a few
Speaker 1: days away from a runoff between incumbent Senator Raphael Warnock
Speaker 1: and the reason you're putting yourself out of football her
Speaker 1: show Walker, and we're gonna tell you all about the
Speaker 1: latest updates and other installments of Vote Demick. There is
Speaker 1: now less than one week to go until the Georgia
Speaker 1: runoff election, and once again Herschel Walker is battling controversies.
Speaker 1: First of all, he might not even live in the
Speaker 1: state that he's trying to represent. Yeah. According to new reports,
Speaker 1: the Georgia home that he's claimed as his residents has
Speaker 1: actually been rented out for years. Yeah. And apparently Walker
Speaker 1: even admitted in a speech earlier this year that he
Speaker 1: lives in Texas, which I was shocked about because I
Speaker 1: did not think Herschel Walker knew the names of two
Speaker 1: different states. This was really impressive. And I know, I
Speaker 1: know this might piss some people off, but when you
Speaker 1: think about it, this just proves that Herschel Walker views
Speaker 1: Georgians as family because he's never around them. And of course,
Speaker 1: of course there's the other problem for Herschel Walker, which
Speaker 1: is that every time he speaks, things go wrong. For instance,
Speaker 1: Walker was recently at a campaign stop giving his views
Speaker 1: on the border and any speech he's trying to explain
Speaker 1: why he will build Donald Trump's border war but in
Speaker 1: a way that only herschel Walker can. He goes on
Speaker 1: to debunk his own argument about a wall and then
Speaker 1: takes us on a wild ride that somehow involves his
Speaker 1: dog the border. How you're gonna do that, I said,
Speaker 1: way I can do it. Then you had to put
Speaker 1: up a wall in the wall new world wall working
Speaker 1: around your house. Where you gotta wall around your house.
Speaker 1: People don't yah, they can get in, but you know
Speaker 1: what they get in to be hard to get out
Speaker 1: because I got a dog, my dog ride when he
Speaker 1: put vad anyway, But anyway, I'm sorry, what did this
Speaker 1: man just win an argument with himself because he's like,
Speaker 1: I think his plan is to what build a border
Speaker 1: wall so that he can trap immigrants inside America? Is
Speaker 1: that what he's doing? You see? He once they get in,
Speaker 1: they can't get up. Then they got a good job
Speaker 1: and read the family settles down and that's how we
Speaker 1: get them. Yeah, it's it's almost like it so like
Speaker 1: it's almost like Walker started out talking about border security
Speaker 1: and then ended up telling everyone how to break into
Speaker 1: his house. And personally, I don't think he needs a wall,
Speaker 1: you know, because the hardest part about breaking into hertual
Speaker 1: Walker's house is figuring out which state it's in jokes,
Speaker 1: You've actually live in Kansas, Hawaii. Yeah, but let's move
Speaker 1: on to some news from social media. Ever since Elon
Speaker 1: Musk pranked himself into buying Twitter forty four billion dollars,
Speaker 1: he has been trying to reshape the entire website according
Speaker 1: to what he likes. He's brought back thousands of suspended accounts,
Speaker 1: He's made it easier to get a blue check mark,
Speaker 1: and now any number you tweets automatically changed to sixty nine. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you post that your dad only has three days left,
Speaker 1: Now he has sixty nine. Nice. Rest in peace, but nice.
Speaker 1: But Elon's biggest promise is that under his leadership, Twitter
Speaker 1: is completely open for free speech, no matter how wrong
Speaker 1: that speech might be potentially dangerous. New change on Twitter,
Speaker 1: the social media side, is no longer enforcing its policy
Speaker 1: against COVID misinformation. Twitter suspended more than eleven thousand accounts
Speaker 1: for breaking the policy and removed almost one hundred thousand
Speaker 1: pieces of content between January in September, and Musk is
Speaker 1: promising to restore many previously Bay and Twitter accounts as
Speaker 1: soon as this week. Health experts are concerned that it
Speaker 1: could diminish efforts to stop the spread of the virus
Speaker 1: and could discourage vaccinations. Okay, look, maybe this is my
Speaker 1: vaccine microchip talking, But I don't think it's responsible for
Speaker 1: Twitter to bring back the people who are spreading COVID misinformation.
Speaker 1: But but on the other hand, on the other hand,
Speaker 1: it is like, how can you still be misinformed about COVID?
Speaker 1: You know, we're just running around, Like I heard the
Speaker 1: vaccine church. It's been three years. Do you see any lists?
Speaker 1: You see any limits here? It probably had it. I
Speaker 1: forget COVID for a second. It's crazy that anyone would
Speaker 1: go to Twitter for any medical information. You know, people
Speaker 1: should be going to the doctor for this stuff. But
Speaker 1: because no one can afford a doctor in America, people
Speaker 1: are out here searching hashtag bump on my dick and
Speaker 1: hoping to find the cure. So like cocaine on my penis,
Speaker 1: That's not what I was looking for. Anyway. Let's move
Speaker 1: on to some news coming out of San Francisco. Like
Speaker 1: many big city, San Francisco has been struggling to get
Speaker 1: crime under control. And if you're thinking, oh, it's San Francisco,
Speaker 1: what are they doing prescribing all the criminals CBD oil No,
Speaker 1: I mean yes, but not just that. They also have
Speaker 1: more hardcore solution dude. This morning, San Francisco officials voted
Speaker 1: to allow city police to have remote controlled robots that
Speaker 1: could use deadly force in extreme situations. Critics of the
Speaker 1: decision say it militarizes San Francisco's police, but city Supervisor
Speaker 1: Raphael Mandelman, who voted in favor of the robots, said
Speaker 1: that the killer machines would only be used if lives
Speaker 1: are at stake. ASFPD said they don't have pre armed
Speaker 1: robots and they don't plan to arm the ones they
Speaker 1: do have with guns, Assistant Chief David Lasar said they
Speaker 1: could deploy robots equipped with explosives. Wait, wait what what
Speaker 1: They're not gonna arm the robots, They're just gonna give
Speaker 1: them explosive That is much worse. Who who came up
Speaker 1: with that pr statement? Don't worry, people, the robots aren't
Speaker 1: gonna have guns. They're just gonna be suicide bombers. Okay,
Speaker 1: calm down, everyone's going this is such a bad idea.
Speaker 1: Do you know how often robots make mistakes? Can you
Speaker 1: imagine if Siri had a bomb. It was like, hey,
Speaker 1: Siri played one savage now killing your family? No, no, wait,
Speaker 1: which which members of my family? But still know, but
Speaker 1: let's talk about it now. To be clear, just so
Speaker 1: we're on the same page, the robots will not actually
Speaker 1: be deciding when to use deadly force, all right. They
Speaker 1: will still be trained human police officers on the remote
Speaker 1: control triggers, So don't worry. It's still gonna be mostly
Speaker 1: black people that get killed. And it's wild. It's wild
Speaker 1: house cities can always find money for high tech gadgets
Speaker 1: for cops, but when it comes to investigating or like
Speaker 1: investing in long term solutions that might actually fix the problems,
Speaker 1: then they pockets are empty. If you even noticed that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're like, oh yeah, robots money, we got that. We
Speaker 1: got that. People asking you're like, wait, you're building robots
Speaker 1: that are police with bombs. Can we do something about
Speaker 1: like the homeless people, They're like, oh yeah, yeah, the
Speaker 1: robots can blow them off too. Yeah, we canna handle that.
Speaker 1: It makes no sense. The Democratic Party easily one of
Speaker 1: the two parties in the United States. As you know,
Speaker 1: Democrats lost control of the House in last months midterm elections,
Speaker 1: and as they get ready to be in the minority.
Speaker 1: They're making some big changes at the top. Democrats in
Speaker 1: the House have made history with their new leadership. Congressman
Speaker 1: Hakim Jeffries of Brooklyn has become the first black leader
Speaker 1: of either party in Congress. He will take over from
Speaker 1: Speaker Nancy Pelosi. It was you know it was remaining
Speaker 1: in the House after stepping down from the top job.
Speaker 1: Jefferis is fifty two, thirty years younger than the outgoing
Speaker 1: how Speaker Nancy Pelosi, a leader with the style all
Speaker 1: his own and a pension for weaving in the legacy
Speaker 1: of hip hop. That is why we are here, Mr
Speaker 1: second Loan. And if you don't know, now, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm glad no one else in the room finished that lyric.
Speaker 1: But I don't know. As much as I enjoy it,
Speaker 1: I think it feels kind of weird to called biggie
Speaker 1: in such a serious and boring place like Congress. Like
Speaker 1: I love I love hip hop. I love hip hop,
Speaker 1: but I don't want to hear it everywhere, you know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like I don't want my doctor shoehorning that ship in. So,
Speaker 1: Mr Noah, what are your symptoms? Palm, sweaty and these
Speaker 1: weak arms are heavy. Please take this very seriously. I'm
Speaker 1: very ill, but that's right off the chunter. In fifty years,
Speaker 1: I'm Erica finally has a minority minority leader, which is amazing.
Speaker 1: Although you will notice the Democrats only gave it to
Speaker 1: a black guy after they lost the House. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: kind of like someone crushing their car and then being like, hey, Kim,
Speaker 1: I know you've always wanted a BMW. You don't need
Speaker 1: to say thank you. Also, the cops want to talk
Speaker 1: to you by but no, you still you still have
Speaker 1: to give credit to the Democrats. Right, Republicans haven't done
Speaker 1: this yet. I mean they still think minority leader was
Speaker 1: the original title of black Panther. And this isn't just
Speaker 1: a big deal because Jeffries is black. Remember that this
Speaker 1: also marks a shift for the Democrats to a much
Speaker 1: younger generation of leaders. Although again, and we also don't
Speaker 1: really know, you know, because Kim Jefferies is black, so
Speaker 1: he could be like ninety, we don't actually know how
Speaker 1: old he is. Because you realize, even at fifty two
Speaker 1: for a party leader in America, he's actually a young man.
Speaker 1: I mean, think about it this way. Joe Biden was
Speaker 1: in Congress when Hakim was literally in diapers, and now
Speaker 1: that her Kim is in Congress, Joe Biden is the
Speaker 1: one in diapers. The circle of life. Now, if we
Speaker 1: had more time, we could talk about how the House
Speaker 1: Democrats are just a sideshow for the next two years,
Speaker 1: because the main events is whether Kevin McCarthy will be
Speaker 1: able to wrangle his clown cough crazy to get anything done.
Speaker 1: But we don't have the time to talk about that
Speaker 1: because while her Kim Jeffreys is plotting to take over
Speaker 1: the House, Elon Musk is plotting to take over our brains.
Speaker 1: Elon must said on Wednesday, a wireless device developed by
Speaker 1: his brainship company, neural Link, is expected to begin human
Speaker 1: clinical trials in six months. The company is developing brainship
Speaker 1: interfaces that it says could enable disabled patients to move
Speaker 1: and communicate. Again, We've been working hard to be ready
Speaker 1: for our first human Essentially that it's sort of like
Speaker 1: having an Apple Watch or a FITBITU replacing a piece
Speaker 1: of goal with like a you know, a smart watch
Speaker 1: you have in your link device, like I could have
Speaker 1: in your link device, uh implant right now, and you
Speaker 1: wouldn't you wouldn't even know. I mean, yeah, yeah, Elon,
Speaker 1: if if you told us you were a part robot,
Speaker 1: all of us would be totally surprised. We we would
Speaker 1: would be like I never saw that coming. Look, I
Speaker 1: will admit the idea of this technology sounds amazing, but
Speaker 1: in reality, the idea of an Apple Watch or a
Speaker 1: fitbit in my brain gives me a little pause because
Speaker 1: if have you ever used an Apple Watch or a fitbit?
Speaker 1: When it messes up on my roost, I'm just like, ah,
Speaker 1: when it messes up in my brain, then what all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, I'm on Alex Jones praising Hitler for
Speaker 1: inventing the microphone? Is that what's gonna happen? Just like ah?
Speaker 1: And secondly, if I'm going to get a chip in
Speaker 1: my head, I don't know if I want Elon Musk
Speaker 1: to be in charge of it. You know, Like a
Speaker 1: year ago, I would have been like the Tesla guy.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe, But now I'm like the Twitter guy. I'll
Speaker 1: pay him a dollars the stairway. Now, if we had
Speaker 1: more time, we could talk about how Elon previously promised
Speaker 1: that his brainship would be ready for human trials three
Speaker 1: years ago, or how he promised that Tesla's would be
Speaker 1: self driving by, or how he built a high speed
Speaker 1: underground train by, or how he'd land on Mars by
Speaker 1: two basically just due to a guy in the strip
Speaker 1: club making it rain with io us. But we don't
Speaker 1: have time to talk about the techno king because some
Speaker 1: real royals have just rocked up to America shows. It
Speaker 1: was a royal welcome for the Prince and Princess of
Speaker 1: Wales Wednesday, on their first US visit in eight years,
Speaker 1: here to present the earth Shot Prize, which honors environmentalists.
Speaker 1: They kicked off the trip by helping turn Boston City
Speaker 1: Hall green. Katherine and I are absolutely delighted to be
Speaker 1: with you today for our first engagement in a great
Speaker 1: city of Boston. The couple also took in an NBA
Speaker 1: game courtside, watching the Boston Celtics beat the Miami Heat.
Speaker 1: Then they hold this big star centered event on Friday
Speaker 1: night where they're going to hand out five prize is
Speaker 1: worth more than a million dollars each. Two folks who
Speaker 1: are trying to tackle the climate crisis. Okay, first of all,
Speaker 1: Prince William is clearly a liar. Right, No one has
Speaker 1: ever been delighted to be in Boston in December. December,
Speaker 1: what are you excited about? Oh, I love chap lips
Speaker 1: are getting thrown up on by Patriots fans. How peachy
Speaker 1: you've been in December? And you might be saying, no, Trevor,
Speaker 1: they're having a good time. They even have course sight seats.
Speaker 1: You think these people are impressed by court side seats.
Speaker 1: The man's regular seat is a throne. This man has
Speaker 1: never set on a folding chair in his life. He's
Speaker 1: probably like, look at this thing. This chair has a
Speaker 1: mouth or something. Kates. Now, if we had the time,
Speaker 1: we could talk more about how great it is that
Speaker 1: Prince William and Kates are awarding money to people who
Speaker 1: are trying to solve climate change, or how shitty it
Speaker 1: is that they ignored my idea to plug in a
Speaker 1: bunch of air conditions neither glaciers would have worked. But
Speaker 1: we just don't have the time for that, because while
Speaker 1: these royals are having fun in America, the royals back
Speaker 1: home in the UK are not having a good time
Speaker 1: at all. Overshadowing the trip controversy. Back at bucking and Palate,
Speaker 1: the Prince's godmother, Lady Susan Hussy, resigning amid accusations of
Speaker 1: racism in Gosie Flani, the founder of a women's nonprofit
Speaker 1: and a black woman born in the UK, says Tuesday
Speaker 1: at the Palace, Hussey repeatedly asked where she was really from,
Speaker 1: implying she wasn't really British, and Gosie Faloney tweeting the exchange,
Speaker 1: which reads in parts, what nationality are you? I am
Speaker 1: born here and I'm British. No, but where do you
Speaker 1: really come from? Where do your people come from? Hussy
Speaker 1: also asking quote what parts of Africa are you from?
Speaker 1: After and goes he said she was from London tonight
Speaker 1: and I witnessed, describing her shot at the exchange, goes
Speaker 1: he was a white woman. That line of questioning wouldn't
Speaker 1: have taken place. People, How many times do we have
Speaker 1: to go through this? There is only one socially acceptable
Speaker 1: way to find out someone's heritage. You swabbed their DNA
Speaker 1: while they're asleep. Okay, it's the polite thing to do.
Speaker 1: This is like the first thing they teach you in
Speaker 1: avoidable racism one O one. It is just never say
Speaker 1: the word from That's it. A lot of racism includes
Speaker 1: the word from, So just avoid it all together. Where
Speaker 1: are you really from? Go back to where you came from?
Speaker 1: You see this clip from Tucker Carlson from just stay
Speaker 1: away from it? And I also love how this woman
Speaker 1: was given a chance to control out delete racism right,
Speaker 1: but instead she just copy pasted and carried on where
Speaker 1: are you from? I'm born here and I'm British. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: you don't understand I'm being racist? How black are you?
Speaker 1: Show me on this map of Africa I brought with me.
Speaker 1: Let me put it in words. You understand? GODMANA cook
Speaker 1: pottles falling from the sky before we go. Please consider
Speaker 1: donating to One Simple Wish, a charity that grants wishes
Speaker 1: to kids and young adults who are in foster care.
Speaker 1: If you want to help grunts a wish or donate
Speaker 1: towards their holiday Wish fund, then please do so at
Speaker 1: the link below. What's the Daily Show weeknights at eleven
Speaker 1: tenth Central on Comedy Central, in stream full episodes anytime
Speaker 1: on Paramount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast