WEBVTT - Thursday Therapy: High Vibe/Low Vibe 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.399 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio podcast. 0:00:06.559 --> 0:00:09.600 This week's Thursday Therapy, We've got Randy Spelling on. So 0:00:09.760 --> 0:00:12.720 he's an American life coach and former actor. He's the 0:00:12.720 --> 0:00:15.560 brother of Tory Spelling, the son of Candy and Aaron Spelling. 0:00:16.400 --> 0:00:20.120 When he was seventeen, he started acting in Malibu Shores. 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:22.720 He also did a stint on Beverly Hills, Nano two 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:26.920 and Oh. But now he's got a Randy Spelling coaching program. 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:30.400 So let's get him on and talk all things life coaching. 0:00:31.040 --> 0:00:31.960 Hi, good to see you. 0:00:32.080 --> 0:00:33.120 How are you good to see you too? 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:33.919 You do them? 0:00:33.920 --> 0:00:34.320 Well? 0:00:34.600 --> 0:00:36.800 Yeah, I'm doing well. Thanks. How about you? 0:00:37.240 --> 0:00:39.919 Oh, you know, just another day. It's a great day. 0:00:39.960 --> 0:00:40.800 It's a great day. 0:00:42.080 --> 0:00:44.280 I'm very excited to talk to you about your coaching 0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:49.159 program because I feel like there's so many different options 0:00:49.200 --> 0:00:52.000 out there, and I want to know what for you 0:00:52.200 --> 0:00:54.720 is the thing that sets you aside from the other 0:00:55.000 --> 0:00:57.400 coaching programs out there that someone's like I want him 0:00:57.440 --> 0:01:01.040 as my coach. I mean for me, it's like you know, 0:01:01.200 --> 0:01:04.479 you know the few and it's something I've always wanted 0:01:04.480 --> 0:01:07.880 to do, but I have like this it stops me 0:01:07.880 --> 0:01:09.600 and I don't know why, but I also want to 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:12.480 get into that too. So, okay, what is for you 0:01:12.959 --> 0:01:15.240 the thing that kind of sets you apart from the 0:01:15.280 --> 0:01:16.440 other life coaches out there? 0:01:17.640 --> 0:01:19.480 I think something. 0:01:19.720 --> 0:01:20.680 We're going right into. 0:01:20.520 --> 0:01:22.600 It, by the way, too, just writ we want to 0:01:23.080 --> 0:01:24.640 you because we have a lot of questions. 0:01:24.720 --> 0:01:26.000 We want to do everything. 0:01:26.760 --> 0:01:29.840 Okay, okay, let's speed date. I love it. So I 0:01:29.880 --> 0:01:33.240 think what sets me apart, like what sets anyone else apart, 0:01:33.440 --> 0:01:37.520 is their fingerprint, their footprint, the way that they walk 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:40.399 in the world, and what they have experienced. And while 0:01:40.720 --> 0:01:44.679 I think we go through so many similar experiences as 0:01:44.959 --> 0:01:48.040 human beings, it's one of the things that I think 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:56.200 unites all of us. I started in Hollywood, growing up 0:01:56.280 --> 0:02:02.720 with everything basically and realize that everything doesn't mean everything, 0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:07.920 so reverse engineering it going. Okay, wait, everyone looks at 0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:12.919 me thinking that I have everything, and yet I feel 0:02:12.919 --> 0:02:15.239 empty inside. I don't know what my purpose is. I'm 0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:18.560 trying to find my way. I see this world outside 0:02:18.560 --> 0:02:21.720 of me and everyone is looking up to the people 0:02:21.760 --> 0:02:27.200 around me, and yet people aren't happy. What makes people tick? 0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:30.320 What drives people? So from early on it was very 0:02:30.320 --> 0:02:35.639 empathic feeling everyone else's emotions and it was super sensitive. 0:02:35.680 --> 0:02:38.880 As a child, that was really confusing. It was like 0:02:38.960 --> 0:02:42.440 walking around like an exposed nerve and I didn't know 0:02:42.639 --> 0:02:46.040 how to manage all the information that I was receiving. 0:02:46.680 --> 0:02:50.560 So I feel like my lifelong journey has been finding 0:02:50.600 --> 0:02:55.639 what matters from the inside out, constructing that and having 0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:59.040 a way to shortcut people so they may not have 0:02:59.160 --> 0:03:02.760 to do the twenty years of going through the same 0:03:02.919 --> 0:03:06.400 patterning over and over and over, and how to link 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:09.280 intuition and use intuition to guide you. 0:03:10.440 --> 0:03:14.360 I feel like I've found you about fifteen years too late. 0:03:14.720 --> 0:03:17.160 Like I'm like, I could have really cut it some thing. So, 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:19.240 I mean there's a lot of Copey under my belt 0:03:19.240 --> 0:03:23.440 over here. Tell me about high Vibe because I feel 0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:27.960 like if if I'm like, I don't know why, but 0:03:28.040 --> 0:03:29.679 I feel drawn to what you have to say. I 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:31.480 think it is a lot because you grew up in 0:03:31.680 --> 0:03:36.280 completely opposite circumstances like fundamentally as I did. That I'm 0:03:37.040 --> 0:03:39.360 it feels enlightening to me that you would be involved 0:03:39.400 --> 0:03:41.600 and like your parents are your parents, and your sister's 0:03:41.640 --> 0:03:43.920 your sister and who they are that you would be 0:03:43.960 --> 0:03:47.000 in this like deeper dive and an introspective kind of 0:03:47.120 --> 0:03:50.520 career path. So I want to be a high viber, 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:54.120 I think, but what does that even entail? Like are 0:03:54.120 --> 0:03:56.200 you going to come in and what are you telling 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:59.000 me things? Are you sending me links? What are you doing? Randy? 0:03:59.040 --> 0:04:03.600 Tell me what am I doing? So I'm actually not 0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:06.120 doing all that much you are. So in terms of 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:10.600 High Vibe, it's my monthly membership and it's really just 0:04:11.120 --> 0:04:15.720 a community, a way for people to come in hang out. 0:04:16.160 --> 0:04:18.200 The thing about high vibe, and you hear this a lot, 0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:20.400 like in the spiritual community, it got kind of trendy 0:04:20.520 --> 0:04:23.480 like high vibe, high vibe. The thing about high vibe 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:26.159 is you have to deal with all of the things 0:04:26.600 --> 0:04:29.239 that are keeping you low vibe. You have to deal 0:04:29.320 --> 0:04:33.080 with all the things that you go through on a 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:36.720 daily basis. So in order to have your energy up here, 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:40.119 it's the healthy habits, It's the way that you think, 0:04:40.240 --> 0:04:43.040 it's the way that you show up in the world, 0:04:43.080 --> 0:04:45.960 your way of being. And so the way that I 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:49.919 work with people, I try at least, is always the 0:04:50.080 --> 0:04:55.560 deepest that I possibly can because I just don't do 0:04:55.800 --> 0:04:57.200 surface very well. 0:04:58.760 --> 0:05:03.960 Yeah, that's always very hard for me too, especially I'm like, 0:05:04.000 --> 0:05:06.760 I don't want to go to a party, and just like, oh, look, 0:05:06.880 --> 0:05:09.800 I the small talk is my least favorite thing. It works, 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:12.920 It's it's at the absolute worst, Like I want to 0:05:13.120 --> 0:05:15.200 I want to know every part of you, the insides out. 0:05:15.200 --> 0:05:16.919 It's like the good, the bad. What have you struggled 0:05:16.920 --> 0:05:18.479 with and you know or what have you know? What 0:05:18.520 --> 0:05:21.880 if what's the biggest lesson you've learned? And that is 0:05:21.920 --> 0:05:25.600 like those kind of conversations are what excite me. And 0:05:25.640 --> 0:05:28.000 that's it's hard. When someone invites me to go somewhe 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:29.640 I'm like, I don't want to go. I just I can't. 0:05:29.680 --> 0:05:30.920 I can't do the small talk. 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:33.400 I know it's so hard, and I mean you've been 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:36.760 through it. I've been listening to a lot of what 0:05:36.960 --> 0:05:40.279 you share, and I mean you have had quite a 0:05:40.680 --> 0:05:44.479 healing journey and introspection journey and sharing all of that. 0:05:44.600 --> 0:05:47.240 So I would imagine, you know, you seem very passionate 0:05:47.279 --> 0:05:50.520 about it. So I would imagine that just making small 0:05:50.560 --> 0:05:53.560 talk and talking about weather and different things after a 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:54.920 while can feel kind of draining. 0:05:55.839 --> 0:05:58.800 Yeah, I mean it's it actually takes I think it 0:05:58.880 --> 0:06:02.680 takes more effort to have small talk then it is 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:06.440 the other way around, Like for me at least, I agree, Yeah, 0:06:06.480 --> 0:06:07.240 it's more draining. 0:06:07.440 --> 0:06:11.720 I think that's also like what this podcast has done best. Right, 0:06:11.960 --> 0:06:13.839 we just are kind of like we are who you know, 0:06:13.920 --> 0:06:15.280 like it's a vulnerability space. 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:16.760 Yes. 0:06:17.400 --> 0:06:19.480 So when I was kind of reading the notes a 0:06:19.480 --> 0:06:21.520 little bit, and I don't know if this was your words, 0:06:22.160 --> 0:06:24.200 but you said as a kid, you always felt like 0:06:24.200 --> 0:06:26.600 you weren't enough. And I feel like a lot of times, 0:06:26.680 --> 0:06:28.680 you know we is that true? We're not sure? Did 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:29.480 I did I make that up? 0:06:29.480 --> 0:06:29.600 Oh? 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:31.080 That's true? Yeah? 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:34.960 Where where was it for you, like your first indication 0:06:35.040 --> 0:06:36.560 of when you felt that? Because I know when I 0:06:36.680 --> 0:06:38.880 go back and I've done you know, therapy work, I 0:06:39.120 --> 0:06:43.680 can go, okay, this is where you know I've That's 0:06:43.680 --> 0:06:45.880 where I can pinpoint it back to you know, my 0:06:46.120 --> 0:06:49.280 now raising children. I'm like, I'm so mindful of like 0:06:49.760 --> 0:06:51.320 the words that I say and the things that I 0:06:51.320 --> 0:06:53.480 want to make sure for my kids. But I know 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:56.920 that we all suffer with not feeling enough. So when 0:06:57.040 --> 0:06:58.960 was that moment for you? And then like, how through 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:01.480 the years have you been able to find that comfort 0:07:01.680 --> 0:07:03.200 of knowing that you're enough? 0:07:05.080 --> 0:07:10.640 So early on I started to draw conclusions. And this 0:07:10.760 --> 0:07:13.680 is not to blame anyone else, but my parents were busy, 0:07:14.080 --> 0:07:18.480 so I may have extrapolated that fact and gone, well, 0:07:19.040 --> 0:07:23.200 I'm not as important as a function or something else, 0:07:23.280 --> 0:07:26.480 which isn't true. But kids don't know how to make 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:29.440 sense of things, so for me, I turned inward, Oh, 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:32.280 well it must be me my sister, who's five and 0:07:32.320 --> 0:07:35.480 a half years older. You know, I wanted to watch cartoons, 0:07:35.520 --> 0:07:37.320 she wanted to watch the news, and we would end 0:07:37.400 --> 0:07:39.360 up fighting, or she didn't want me in her room 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:43.960 and she didn't want to play with me. Understandably at times, right, 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:46.720 I could be the annoying little brother. But then I 0:07:46.760 --> 0:07:50.000 took that and I was like, oh, yep, I'm not enough. 0:07:50.680 --> 0:07:55.040 And I started to bring these conclusions in and that 0:07:55.320 --> 0:08:01.320 became my modus OPERENDI. That's how I viewed myself, so 0:08:01.360 --> 0:08:05.160 that anytime something would happen, my brain would scan and go, yep, 0:08:05.240 --> 0:08:08.520 I know what that is. Oh I'm asking for something 0:08:08.520 --> 0:08:11.559 and you're rejecting me. I'm not enough. My third grade 0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:14.080 girlfriend who I was in love with for two days 0:08:14.120 --> 0:08:17.360 and was sobbing because she broke up with me, I'm 0:08:17.400 --> 0:08:22.520 not enough. So years of doing that led to some 0:08:22.760 --> 0:08:26.480 really really deep ravines of not enoughness. 0:08:39.080 --> 0:08:43.240 Was there a specific, like pinpointed moment that you knew like, okay, this, 0:08:43.480 --> 0:08:46.600 from this moment forward, I've got to start doing some 0:08:46.640 --> 0:08:49.960 rewiring or some changing or identifying. Was there like a 0:08:50.000 --> 0:08:52.760 pivotal moment or was it kind of just like a 0:08:52.800 --> 0:08:56.280 compound interest of collected minutes going like ugh, you know, 0:08:56.400 --> 0:08:59.200 like I think it's time to rewid because rewiring as 0:08:59.240 --> 0:09:01.400 an adult is really hard work. 0:09:01.600 --> 0:09:07.560 It is. It is. Yep, Listen, I help people change 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:11.160 for a living, and it is not easy. So I'm 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:13.360 just going to say that, and I think this is 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:16.000 good for people to know it doesn't always have to 0:09:16.000 --> 0:09:18.280 be the hardest thing in the world. But you know, 0:09:18.480 --> 0:09:23.000 sometimes someone will do something and they'll write a gratitude 0:09:23.160 --> 0:09:25.319 list and they do it for four days. They try 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:27.800 and change something and after a week they get frustrated. 0:09:28.520 --> 0:09:32.320 It's because change takes time. It's hard. So for me, 0:09:33.400 --> 0:09:36.640 I'd been in therapy since I was about twenty two, 0:09:37.960 --> 0:09:42.280 but I think my one catalyst moment there was a 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:45.480 culmination of a few, but my catalyst moment was my 0:09:45.640 --> 0:09:50.240 father had passed away in two thousand and six. There 0:09:50.320 --> 0:09:53.360 is a lot of family drama and media stuff going 0:09:53.400 --> 0:09:57.600 on at the time, and I was deep, deep in addiction, 0:09:58.240 --> 0:10:02.920 living my most in offuthentic life possible, and my friends 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:04.959 thought I was going to die. I mean, it was really, 0:10:05.000 --> 0:10:07.720 really bad. And I remember this one night, three in 0:10:07.760 --> 0:10:10.360 the morning. I'd been up for a couple days, and 0:10:11.080 --> 0:10:13.000 you know, I had all these relics in my apartment 0:10:13.040 --> 0:10:16.080 I had. I had Buddhist statues and crystals, and it 0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:19.520 was very zen. And I looked at all this and 0:10:19.600 --> 0:10:22.679 I just thought, none of this matters. I have all 0:10:22.720 --> 0:10:27.560 this around me, and I feel completely empty. And I 0:10:27.640 --> 0:10:30.640 remember I was searching for things to fill me up, 0:10:30.640 --> 0:10:33.640 and I had nothing else in my apartment. And I 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:36.760 fell to my knees and I called my dad, Pops 0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:40.800 at the end of his life, and I said, Pops, God, Universe. 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:43.439 I mean, I called in all the heavy hitters. I said, 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:49.280 I deeply feel that I'm here for more. I know it, 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:53.280 I feel it. I've experienced real connection before. I want 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:55.520 to make a difference. I want to make an impact 0:10:55.520 --> 0:10:58.160 in this world, whatever that looks like. If I'm not 0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:01.320 meant to, if I'm not here for more than please 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:04.360 take me out. I don't want to experience this anymore. 0:11:05.200 --> 0:11:07.960 And I didn't know what that was going to look like. 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:14.160 But a few weeks after everything started snowballing and changing, 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:20.480 and once I got clean, what became very apparent was 0:11:20.880 --> 0:11:24.800 this acth of helping people, and I felt more purposeful 0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:27.760 than ever. But I had to ask some really hard questions. 0:11:27.960 --> 0:11:31.360 Who am I? Who do I want to be? What 0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:34.199 changes do I need to make? And I changed almost 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:37.200 everything in my life? 0:11:38.120 --> 0:11:44.640 How do you handle knowing what you know, the things 0:11:44.640 --> 0:11:47.280 that you've gone through, what people could say then, but 0:11:47.320 --> 0:11:48.880 who you are now? Like, how do you deal with 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:51.920 the people that might not be on board with the 0:11:51.960 --> 0:11:52.560 new version? 0:11:55.040 --> 0:11:57.200 I don't think there are many who might not be 0:11:57.440 --> 0:11:58.040 on board. 0:11:59.240 --> 0:12:01.040 I guess you wouldn't care about the ones that if 0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:01.840 either way. 0:12:02.440 --> 0:12:05.840 Yeah, But to what you're saying, it's the same thing 0:12:05.880 --> 0:12:09.600 of when someone decides to cut out bread, right, they're 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:11.199 trying a new way of eating, and they go to 0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:13.920 their family or friends and they get such a hard 0:12:14.000 --> 0:12:16.800 time for eating this. What do you mean you're not 0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:19.440 eating bread? But people have broken bread since the beginning 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:22.520 of time? What's wrong with you? And I think people 0:12:22.880 --> 0:12:29.160 can feel very threatened by someone improving themselves. And you know, 0:12:29.240 --> 0:12:31.480 I had a client the other day who was saying, this, 0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:36.880 my husband isn't really on board. A couple people that 0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:39.240 I was telling that I was doing this aren't really 0:12:39.280 --> 0:12:42.720 on board. But they start to see the changes, and 0:12:43.320 --> 0:12:46.599 through that threat is an insecurity that what if you 0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:50.760 change so much and I'm left behind? That might look 0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:52.800 really good on you. What does that mean for me? 0:12:52.880 --> 0:12:56.199 So people start questioning themselves, and I would say this, 0:12:57.320 --> 0:12:59.840 you're the only person who you go to bed with 0:13:00.040 --> 0:13:02.280 a night, Truly, I don't care if you're cuddling all night. 0:13:02.840 --> 0:13:05.680 You're in your own head, You're in your own heart. 0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:08.560 You're the one who you wake up with every morning. 0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:11.960 You spend the most time with yourself. If you're not happy, 0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:14.959 if you're not happy with the changes that you make, 0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:19.560 regardless of how anyone else feels, that's time for you 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:20.520 to make a difference. 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:25.560 Do you feel who is your Do you have like 0:13:25.559 --> 0:13:28.520 a mentor someone that you lean into? I mean, these 0:13:28.520 --> 0:13:33.400 are huge transformational seasons of life, and like we can 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:37.079 always you know, like obviously we're both very like we're 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:40.160 Christian Jesus lover, so for us that we can all 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:42.559 lean into God but like sometimes you need like a 0:13:42.720 --> 0:13:44.920 like the human form, like a heartbeat, you know, So 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:45.920 who is that for you? 0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:52.840 Yeah, I've had a few over the years, and I'm 0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:55.480 just going to say this, there was a period where 0:13:56.000 --> 0:14:00.520 I may have been a little egotistical in thought, I've 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:03.520 got this, I know this. I've done so much self work, 0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:06.520 so many forms of healing. I work with people all 0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:11.280 day long, and I was quickly humbled realizing that, oh, yeah, no, 0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:16.120 I need someone else who can see my blind spots. So, 0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:19.720 you know, sometimes I will talk to a therapist. I 0:14:19.760 --> 0:14:24.040 have a couple guides, as I call them, who are 0:14:24.320 --> 0:14:28.920 more spiritual. They're in human form, but I can talk 0:14:28.960 --> 0:14:32.400 to them, and I definitely lean into that when there's 0:14:32.480 --> 0:14:35.760 something where I'm a little bit shaken by or I 0:14:35.800 --> 0:14:42.480 can't quite see clearly, then I will always lean into them. 0:14:42.600 --> 0:14:44.680 In our speed dating, I have another question before I'm 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:45.560 rapid fire over here. 0:14:45.600 --> 0:14:49.520 Sorry, before let's do let's do rapid fire. What's your like? 0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:52.120 What's your morning routine look like? Is it the same 0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:52.720 every morning? 0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:52.880 Like? 0:14:52.920 --> 0:14:55.280 What do you what's your gratitude crowd? You seem just 0:14:55.320 --> 0:14:57.240 like as such a ground and calm energy. 0:14:57.360 --> 0:15:00.240 It's like I came in very anxious podcast and you're 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:03.160 just very yeah. Like I'm just like, yeah, Randy, tell 0:15:03.240 --> 0:15:05.520 us Randy. So, like when you wake up in the morning, 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:08.840 what do you do first? Think first? Say first? Is 0:15:08.880 --> 0:15:10.880 it the same every day? Do you do the menu 0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:13.840 of options? Tell us about Randy in the morning. 0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:16.960 Yep. So my morning routine is not perfect. I am 0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:21.520 not the five am, cold plunger, two hour morning routine. 0:15:21.560 --> 0:15:23.480 I have a twelve year old and an eleven year old. 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:26.880 I'm on morning breakfast duty. Have been their whole lives. 0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:33.600 So when I had kids, I loved I lit up 0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:35.840 when my kids what At first I would go into 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:37.840 their room when they were in cribs, and then they 0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:40.800 would come into our room, and I loved it. But 0:15:40.880 --> 0:15:44.600 what I realized was, I'm a better me. I'm a 0:15:44.640 --> 0:15:48.800 better father if I have ten to fifteen minutes of 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:52.840 me time, whether that's a form of movement, whether that's gratitude, 0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:57.200 whether it's breathing, whether it's and I'm not kidding, twelve seconds. 0:15:57.280 --> 0:16:02.080 I'm a big fan of micro moment, where twelve seconds 0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:04.720 of just putting your hand on your heart, a feeling 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:09.280 yourself of you know, having a connection to a higher power, 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:14.080 whatever that is for you, and just saying thank you, 0:16:14.280 --> 0:16:17.800 thank you for actually being alive and getting a chance 0:16:17.880 --> 0:16:20.600 to experience today. And again, I'm not perfect. I don't 0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:24.040 do this every single day without fail. But most of 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:28.800 the time I wake up and I realize this actually 0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:30.880 is a privilege and there are things that I'm going 0:16:30.920 --> 0:16:34.040 to be challenged with during the day, but I'm here 0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:37.120 and I get to experience, and the switch from have 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:40.360 to to get to is big for me. 0:16:54.840 --> 0:16:56.000 Are you a workout guy? 0:16:56.640 --> 0:16:57.720 I am a workout guy? 0:16:58.160 --> 0:17:00.960 Okay, Like, what's your workout? Are you like withp in tires? 0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:04.080 CrossFit style? Are you yoga dude? Are you all the things? 0:17:04.240 --> 0:17:08.800 I'm not a yoga guy at all. I should probably 0:17:08.800 --> 0:17:13.840 do more yoga. So working out for me has become 0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:16.680 really personal because I've always worked out on and off 0:17:16.840 --> 0:17:22.720 my whole life. But I remember right around COVID we 0:17:22.760 --> 0:17:25.679 had just moved into our house and I was doing 0:17:25.720 --> 0:17:29.800 about five minutes of movement like the bare Bear minimum, 0:17:30.960 --> 0:17:35.199 and I realized that wasn't enough, and so I started 0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:38.600 doing a home workout that was longer. And the day 0:17:38.680 --> 0:17:41.800 that I did a thirty forty minute workout and I 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:45.080 pushed myself. My heart was beating fast. I was pushing 0:17:45.119 --> 0:17:50.680 against the ground and doing different resistance training. My nervous 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:56.800 system completely regulated and went from here to here, and 0:17:56.880 --> 0:18:00.720 I thought, wow, that is powerful. And I've done a 0:18:00.720 --> 0:18:05.119 lot of research around this. I've suggested this to many clients, 0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:09.840 many hardworking professionals. If you only have two minutes, even 0:18:09.880 --> 0:18:12.880 if you're in between meetings, go to a wall and 0:18:12.960 --> 0:18:14.800 push against the wall. If you don't want to get 0:18:14.800 --> 0:18:19.080 down on the ground, lift something heavy. When you do 0:18:19.119 --> 0:18:22.040 that and your body starts to shake, it's your nervous 0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:25.520 system regulating itself. And a lot of times, I don't 0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:28.600 know if you both find this. When you're feeling anxious, 0:18:29.240 --> 0:18:34.600 A lot of times we try and go, okay, calm down, 0:18:34.920 --> 0:18:38.600 but you're revving inside. So something that I find that 0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:42.399 works really well is meet the rev with the rev. 0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:46.320 Go run down the street, go jump up and down vigorously. 0:18:46.960 --> 0:18:50.400 Because when you meet the same energy, it's like homeopathy. 0:18:50.520 --> 0:18:55.719 They give you coffee, the essence of coffee to treat 0:18:56.800 --> 0:19:01.560 nervous so it cancels each they're out. So meet where 0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:04.720 you're at with the same energy, and then once you 0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:07.600 do that, then when you go to take some deep 0:19:07.680 --> 0:19:12.200 breaths and come back to center. It's much easier. 0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:16.000 I like that. That's literally been my workout program. We're 0:19:16.000 --> 0:19:19.280 both postpartum, so we both have pretty new babies. Mine's 0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:21.960 not as new anymore. She's eleven months. Okay, still new. 0:19:22.200 --> 0:19:24.840 Well that's still new. So yeah, what's your routine? What 0:19:24.880 --> 0:19:25.560 do you like to do? 0:19:25.840 --> 0:19:26.000 Well? 0:19:26.000 --> 0:19:28.240 It's interesting because I grew up I was always a runner. 0:19:28.840 --> 0:19:30.560 I'm not very coordinated, so it just like it was 0:19:30.560 --> 0:19:32.679 a very simple, good choice for me, and didn't you know? 0:19:33.320 --> 0:19:36.320 And then in this it's been a really deep lesson. 0:19:36.960 --> 0:19:39.960 Had a tailbone injury during labor, and so I haven't 0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:41.879 been able to do what I always have done, and 0:19:41.920 --> 0:19:44.080 so I've had to kind of like relearn my body, 0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:46.960 relearn how to gain strength. It's been so much slower, 0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:48.480 which I think is not lost on me. It's a 0:19:48.560 --> 0:19:51.760 lesson for sure, but it's been more pilates like movements 0:19:51.800 --> 0:19:55.639 like the strength of toning the like deeper breaths, and 0:19:55.760 --> 0:19:59.720 more pelvic floor restoration. But I just had posted the 0:19:59.760 --> 0:20:01.600 other d I was out walking and I said something 0:20:01.640 --> 0:20:03.480 similar to what you said. And I don't know why, 0:20:03.480 --> 0:20:04.840 but I felt led to like share it, and I 0:20:04.880 --> 0:20:06.680 went out, I said, I just who wants to walk 0:20:06.720 --> 0:20:09.679 with me tomorrow? Tag me and I'll retag you. And 0:20:09.720 --> 0:20:11.800 it's become this like thing. And I made a printable 0:20:11.800 --> 0:20:13.680 calendar for everyone. I was like, here's your three things 0:20:13.720 --> 0:20:16.240 in a day. Water, walk in the morning, still and 0:20:16.359 --> 0:20:20.840 just check check check. And it's been really moving to watch, 0:20:21.040 --> 0:20:23.640 just like the community of that right like it's saying 0:20:23.680 --> 0:20:25.880 what you're saying, like just getting out. I'm like, I've 0:20:25.920 --> 0:20:28.800 always I'm a very anxious person. I just run a 0:20:28.840 --> 0:20:31.680 little nervous system was kind of developed in fight or flight. 0:20:31.840 --> 0:20:34.520 So the rewiring for me right now is just going 0:20:34.560 --> 0:20:37.680 like I don't have to be so catastrophically anxious about 0:20:37.720 --> 0:20:41.680 like the simplest things. But moving my body and matching 0:20:41.680 --> 0:20:44.040 my body with where my heart rate already is has 0:20:44.080 --> 0:20:46.679 been so therapeutic. And then you just get to kind 0:20:46.720 --> 0:20:48.480 of soak in like the sounds of birds and your 0:20:48.480 --> 0:20:50.960 own footsteps, and it's just yeah, I'm going to need 0:20:50.960 --> 0:20:53.800 to try that. I like that. It's really been so good. 0:20:53.920 --> 0:20:56.280 Like it's almost like I want to like put a 0:20:56.280 --> 0:20:58.280 guarantee on it, Like if you walk for ten minutes, 0:20:58.280 --> 0:21:00.399 you just can't be as sad as you were. I 0:21:00.400 --> 0:21:02.280 think it is actually like a thing, right. 0:21:02.440 --> 0:21:04.119 You know, you know what a really fun thing to 0:21:04.160 --> 0:21:06.919 do is. This came to me one day while I 0:21:06.960 --> 0:21:08.800 was walking down the street. I was in a bad 0:21:08.880 --> 0:21:14.400 mood and I heard just skip and I was like what, No, 0:21:14.400 --> 0:21:18.000 I'm not no, I'm not skipping, like just skip, and 0:21:18.080 --> 0:21:20.480 I started skipping, and I kid you not. It was 0:21:20.760 --> 0:21:23.480 like a movie in slow motion. I was going up 0:21:23.560 --> 0:21:26.879 and down and I started to go from frown to 0:21:27.119 --> 0:21:29.520 laughing and just like, put your eyebrows up right now, 0:21:30.080 --> 0:21:30.399 try it. 0:21:31.000 --> 0:21:32.560 I can try, but I have a lot of otoxic 0:21:32.560 --> 0:21:33.200 go ahead. 0:21:35.560 --> 0:21:39.480 And even that motion changes the brain chemistry of raising 0:21:39.520 --> 0:21:43.199 your eyebrows, so skipping will do that as well. So 0:21:43.240 --> 0:21:47.240 I started laughing, and I have. I've tried this with many, 0:21:47.280 --> 0:21:50.199 many different people. And the act of skipping, because adults 0:21:50.240 --> 0:21:54.040 don't really skip, is in an instant child like thing 0:21:54.320 --> 0:21:57.840 that gets you into play very quickly. And funny enough, 0:21:58.160 --> 0:22:01.960 talking about anxiety, I was doing a core for a 0:22:02.000 --> 0:22:04.480 while around anxiety, and I did a year of research, 0:22:04.560 --> 0:22:07.679