Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.
Speaker 2: Is it me or is it freezing in here?
Speaker 3: Freezing?
Speaker 1: So walked in here and I was like, whoa, I
Speaker 1: wore this shirt because it's you. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: oh man, it's always so hot in here. And then
Speaker 1: I walked down.
Speaker 4: I was like, it's freezing. So that your house is
Speaker 4: never like this. No, I don't understand what my house
Speaker 4: messing with.
Speaker 1: My someone someone's.
Speaker 2: Touching my dials.
Speaker 4: Hi guys, Hi, Hey, I had one of those moments
Speaker 4: today where I got into the car. So my sweet
Speaker 4: little builder, his son is like dreams of being a director.
Speaker 4: And so my really good director friend is in town
Speaker 4: right now filming a movie. And so when we bought
Speaker 4: the house or whatever, the builder guy was like listen,
Speaker 4: he's like because at the very end and everyone gives
Speaker 4: like the builder a gift or something, and so I
Speaker 4: was I didn't know that. I mean usually click what
Speaker 4: it is house, but that's yeah, well we did the
Speaker 4: last one, like we gave them like some like liquor
Speaker 4: bottle or whatever. And so I was like, hey, you
Speaker 4: know what do you you know? What are you and
Speaker 4: your wife like? And you know and he's like, I
Speaker 4: don't want anything. I just want one favor. Like my
Speaker 4: son wants to be a director, and it's like his
Speaker 4: whole life's passion. He sent me like this thing. He
Speaker 4: didn't because he's in high school. He's a cute little junior,
Speaker 4: and he's like he wants to, you know, direct, and
Speaker 4: he just wants to see what it's like on like
Speaker 4: the real deal. So he's like, if you could ever
Speaker 4: make that work, like would owe you forever. And so
Speaker 4: first I was going to have him come to West Virginia,
Speaker 4: but I'm like it's just too heavy of a set,
Speaker 4: Like I can't be like managing like you know, people
Speaker 4: on set when I'm like getting like choked and stuff
Speaker 4: like that. It's a very emotional movie. Like I just
Speaker 4: like I can't like do that. So I knew that
Speaker 4: my buddy Brian, who have done a few movies with
Speaker 4: he's in He's been filming a movie here with Alexa Penevega,
Speaker 4: who I love so much. She's just an absolute doll
Speaker 4: and so sad she just had a still birth, Like
Speaker 4: it's just heartbreaking, I know, but she's her and her
Speaker 4: husband are acting in this movie together and it's just precious.
Speaker 4: So anyways, so I'm like perfect, but Brian, not being
Speaker 4: from Nashville, He's like, yeah, we're filming in Franklin. It
Speaker 4: was all the way in where like old producer lived.
Speaker 4: So I'm like forty five minutes later. But when I'm
Speaker 4: in the car, it was one of those where I
Speaker 4: was like, I forgot to wear deodorant.
Speaker 2: I was like, no sweating in the car.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, oh, I know, that's just the most
Speaker 4: random moment ever. But anyways, but it was really cute
Speaker 4: and he's like on set and I was like, anyways,
Speaker 4: I have to podcast. Like I was like, so I
Speaker 4: literally just dropped this little, sweet.
Speaker 2: Little shoe I did.
Speaker 4: I was like, and then I'm like high stacy, hi guys.
Speaker 4: Because the people that I've worked with before, like on
Speaker 4: set or whatever. And so I'm like, okay, here's here.
Speaker 4: He is like, here's a hot set. This is the world, Brian,
Speaker 4: this is you know, Like he's just okay now and
Speaker 4: go action, Like I gotta go, Hi, Alexa take your
Speaker 4: build her son to work day? Yeah okay, And like
Speaker 4: he's like are you coming back? And I'm like it's
Speaker 4: forty minutes.
Speaker 2: Do you ever ride home. Well, no, he drove like
Speaker 2: he followed me there. So I picked him up in
Speaker 2: the model down the street. He followed me. My kids
Speaker 2: stuck it in his Mercedes, and I'm like, my.
Speaker 3: Lord, I'm like, oh.
Speaker 2: I had to buy my car. Yeah.
Speaker 4: It was like so cute anyways, but yeah, so that
Speaker 4: was that and then I like that's why I was
Speaker 4: late there.
Speaker 2: But now I'm still stinky.
Speaker 4: So if I stay, well, my bag's still somewhere overseas US.
Speaker 2: I can't believe that, is it?
Speaker 5: Ever?
Speaker 2: Does that mean you haven't gotten theodor?
Speaker 5: You know?
Speaker 4: So I bought, like I bought like one of those
Speaker 4: like cheap o' ones from the walmart, like those travel
Speaker 4: ones or whatever, and usually I have one in my purse.
Speaker 4: I've got one here I got there and like I
Speaker 4: just got like the one random and like so I
Speaker 4: just forget to like put it on. I've got no makeup,
Speaker 4: but I've got like this like little like underre stuff.
Speaker 2: Do you so you never get it back?
Speaker 4: We don't know Alan Alan's back came, but mine. They're
Speaker 4: like we don't.
Speaker 1: Know, wait, is it just one of yours or like several?
Speaker 1: So because there was a lot of suitcases, my only.
Speaker 4: Real big bag, so like my my the other ones
Speaker 4: we came with, but like the one that has my
Speaker 4: makeup in my like all my clothes, all my toilet trees,
Speaker 4: all my like everything, my diamond earrings in there, My
Speaker 4: Jimmy Choo's like like.
Speaker 2: Great jewelry here.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's They're like, we don't know because.
Speaker 2: Somebody at the airline is like, and check me out.
Speaker 2: I only have one pair.
Speaker 4: I know everything else is Amazon, but I'm like, all
Speaker 4: my nice stuff wasn't that bad? Well, now we know
Speaker 4: about eggs and baskets. We don't do that ever again. No,
Speaker 4: so it was like I have like one pair of
Speaker 4: diamond earrings. They were in there. It's like I know
Speaker 4: your homegirls an Amazon girl, but all good stuff was
Speaker 4: in there. I know, it's all put in the stuff
Speaker 4: it goes, not the Jimmy Choo's.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: It's like I it's and it has like my altheine
Speaker 4: in there has all my like I had to reorder
Speaker 4: all my supplements, which you know is not.
Speaker 2: The easy feet. It's not cheap. It ain't cheap.
Speaker 4: I know. That's when you were saying, like to the
Speaker 4: blooming thing, I was like, well, my blooming things in there.
Speaker 4: So I was like, you know, like it was just
Speaker 4: the charger thing. I had to go get a different charger.
Speaker 4: Like no, so do you do they know what's in
Speaker 4: it before it's replaced, because I'm going that's a pretty
Speaker 4: great suitcase to accidentally lose if you're a dishonest person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I should never do that.
Speaker 1: No, I couldn't like them. We're saying someone could have
Speaker 1: like if they opened it up.
Speaker 3: Oh, but how does they have any work?
Speaker 4: Like when you lose a bag, like would I get
Speaker 4: like do I defile insurance claim?
Speaker 2: Like how does that? How does that work? I think
Speaker 2: you have to do? I just use it?
Speaker 4: And then like I think you have a list out item,
Speaker 4: like there's a rolex in there.
Speaker 2: Well, you got plenty of things.
Speaker 4: I was like, hmm, share ways, there's got to be
Speaker 4: like a there's something like or no, there has to
Speaker 4: be like a limit to though, Like I'm sure they
Speaker 4: wouldn't be like yeah, here's.
Speaker 1: That's why you have like homeowners insurance and stuff or
Speaker 1: like you know, insurance to cover those things or the
Speaker 1: shoes on the policy, but the policy your diamonds and
Speaker 1: like all that stuff, right, well.
Speaker 4: Depending what I don't. Ever, I don't put those on
Speaker 4: the policy. No, we know we put them on the policy.
Speaker 4: You put your shoes on a policy.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't have Jimmy shoes. I owned James diamonds.
Speaker 2: I do James Jimmy Yeah if I own them, sure, yeah.
Speaker 4: I don't own them, don't own them, But I do
Speaker 4: all the diamonds, one pair, all the diamonds.
Speaker 2: A few shoes though that I would definitely put on there.
Speaker 4: Like what I have, Like, okay, I have one pair
Speaker 4: of Curshial Lutons that are ten years old now.
Speaker 2: They're vintage definitely, but they don't even.
Speaker 4: Say they're just sitting there because they're only my only red.
Speaker 4: But like like what else everything else? I don't have
Speaker 4: one new pair of a Sam Edelman one hundred dollars sneaker,
Speaker 4: Like I don't.
Speaker 2: Have any of some sneakers that are not that are
Speaker 2: my ten.
Speaker 3: Year old geese years old seven.
Speaker 2: But still but they're still were expensive.
Speaker 4: And we're like fifty dollars now they're not I've looked
Speaker 4: them up or not.
Speaker 2: Listen, I'm just saying, like, really, really have that really
Speaker 2: diamonds for sure?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Well, ilading in the ocean. I think you're going
Speaker 4: to get it back. It's fine. I think you're going
Speaker 4: to get a backstressing about it. Yeah, let's say, yeah,
Speaker 4: weren't broken makeup in my supplements back then?
Speaker 1: Jimmy choos, whoever has my bag, I just feel just
Speaker 1: shipped me my supplements.
Speaker 4: I would like my my my face stuff back because
Speaker 4: that stuff's expensive.
Speaker 2: Frames are like two hundred dollars.
Speaker 4: So.
Speaker 2: Mine is definitely not. Yeah, you definitely need that has.
Speaker 4: Retinal in it. Yeah, but they don't all cost him.
Speaker 4: But it doesn't matter at all. Adds up fast. I mean, shoot,
Speaker 4: my cheap stuff adds up fast.
Speaker 2: Correct.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So anyways, that's that's why I stink. That's why I'm late.
Speaker 4: So I'm freezing.
Speaker 2: I feel like you tho.
Speaker 1: I know, God, Catherine, No, you don't stink, But I
Speaker 1: feel like you might have to buy a razor, might
Speaker 1: have to think that the bag's not coming back and
Speaker 1: get a few of those things.
Speaker 2: Guys. I have a new Birkenstocks in there that I
Speaker 2: just got.
Speaker 4: We can not worried about there, worried about the Birkenstocksky,
Speaker 4: Welcome to my life, though, when like I don't care
Speaker 4: about the real designer druff. That's it's all the stuff
Speaker 4: you use most often. Absolutely what I do have a
Speaker 4: my love with han person there. Oh my god, this
Speaker 4: bag just keeps getting more. It's a jackpot if you're
Speaker 4: a dishonest jackpot jackpot. I would like to know if
Speaker 4: you see the Jana Kramer Dalless actress tag on the bag,
Speaker 4: that's what. Anyways, you're going to get it back. Guys,
Speaker 4: we have a very exciting guest today. Armie Hammer's mom
Speaker 4: is coming on and to refresh your memory, we did
Speaker 4: we had was it his aunt?
Speaker 2: His aunt? Yes, comely had.
Speaker 3: Because she they did the documentary.
Speaker 2: She did the documentary.
Speaker 4: So we're going to get her on because she has
Speaker 4: a book called hand I like the little plan.
Speaker 2: Well done.
Speaker 4: Interested to Hammer, but let's get her on and see
Speaker 4: what she has to say.
Speaker 2: Hi, Hi, how are you?
Speaker 5: I'm great? Thank you for having me.
Speaker 4: Of course, thank you for coming on. I yeah, we
Speaker 4: got you know, we got the word that you were
Speaker 4: coming on. We have been hearing all about your your
Speaker 4: book which is available now called Hammered. And I recently
Speaker 4: saw something in the news too, because you know, I
Speaker 4: was doing a little research and uh, there was an
Speaker 4: article that came up about how you were you had
Speaker 4: to forgive Army's ex wife. I mean, there's just there's
Speaker 4: just a lot of a lot of questions. I don't
Speaker 4: even know where exactly to start, but I guess the
Speaker 4: first one is, there's a lot, there's a lot unpacked.
Speaker 4: Did you watch the documentary, I guess is my first question.
Speaker 6: My answer to that would be I watched a little
Speaker 6: bit of the documentary, but there were so many untruths
Speaker 6: in it. And the person who made the documentary is
Speaker 6: Army's aunt, who hadn't seen since he was seven, so
Speaker 6: she didn't even really know our family. So it was
Speaker 6: really hard for me to watch. And look, I say
Speaker 6: everywhere I go, Army was criminally wrong. He was no
Speaker 6: excuse me, he was not boy that was a fauxbot.
Speaker 6: He was not criminally criminally wrong.
Speaker 5: He was morally wrong.
Speaker 6: So you know, a lot happened that a mother has
Speaker 6: no control over. But what I will say is Army
Speaker 6: is in such a good place now. He went to rehab.
Speaker 6: He actually got sober four months before he went to
Speaker 6: rehab and has been sober for almost four years, and
Speaker 6: he is an incredible father to his children. He picks
Speaker 6: them up whenever he's in you know, every time he's
Speaker 6: in town, he picks them up. Every single morning, he
Speaker 6: picks them up from school. He spends the whole day
Speaker 6: with them, he's there on the weekend. It's really changed
Speaker 6: his life. And sometimes you have to lose everything to
Speaker 6: realize what's really important in life.
Speaker 4: M you know, I feel like that's got to be
Speaker 4: hard as as a mom, because, like you said, like
Speaker 4: he's not criminally you know, you said, he's not criminally wrong,
Speaker 4: it's just morally wrong. And I think it's you know,
Speaker 4: I remember my ex husband had multiple affairs on me
Speaker 4: and you know his you know, I'd have conversations with
Speaker 4: his mom and it's like they're not proud of his
Speaker 4: son's actions, but they're their mom like they're still going
Speaker 4: to love their son. And I think that's you know,
Speaker 4: when I would get that frustration. It's like, no matter what,
Speaker 4: now that you know, I have kids too, it's like
Speaker 4: our kids might misstep and do things that are wrong,
Speaker 4: but no matter what, we'll always love them. And so
Speaker 4: we can we can be disappointed in them, and we
Speaker 4: could be we cannot understand it, but we will always
Speaker 4: love them. And I think that's the piece where you know,
Speaker 4: that's the mother's love, that is the unbreakable peace and
Speaker 4: all that.
Speaker 6: You know one hundred percent, And I will say this.
Speaker 6: You know he was in a very dark time in
Speaker 6: his life. There was alcohol, there were drugs. You know,
Speaker 6: there's no excuse. And I love my daughter in Loot
Speaker 6: and I get to be a part of my grandkid's life.
Speaker 6: So it really has ended up, believe it or not.
Speaker 6: You don't grow in good times. You grow in tough times.
Speaker 6: And I think everybody grew and we've all come full circle.
Speaker 6: You have to be very patient because God's timing is
Speaker 6: not our timing. And I prayed for twenty three years
Speaker 6: because I raised both my sons in a Christian home.
Speaker 6: No home is perfect, but we did teach him about
Speaker 6: the love of God. And you just have to pray
Speaker 6: and know that God is steadfast and he answers prayers.
Speaker 5: It just may not happen in your time frame, right.
Speaker 4: We know a lot about that on this couch over here. Yes,
Speaker 4: I do have a question too, and this is mostly
Speaker 4: because you know, I think everyone on this side of
Speaker 4: the podcasts has little boys, and it's a different in
Speaker 4: my experience. You know, raising girls so far from me,
Speaker 4: and they're all young, but it's very intuitive feeling because
Speaker 4: I am a woman, so that feels like pretty and right.
Speaker 2: And I'm learning.
Speaker 4: Very quickly that out of the gate boys in our
Speaker 4: home are just so different.
Speaker 2: So in Army's younger years, was there ever any indication?
Speaker 4: Is there if you can go back in your most honest,
Speaker 4: objective brain, do you recognize times now, knowing what you
Speaker 4: know about him, that you saw certain things in his character?
Speaker 4: Or wait, is he played or things he said? Or
Speaker 4: as he got older? Was there ever this like red
Speaker 4: flag moment that maybe you coded with the mother grace
Speaker 4: because we all are just their biggest fans no matter what.
Speaker 4: But now looking back, do you go, I see a
Speaker 4: lot of where this could have started or how this started?
Speaker 4: Has that ever been? Oh?
Speaker 6: I know exactly, Yes, I know exactly when it started,
Speaker 6: and I would not talk about it if Army had
Speaker 6: not talked about it.
Speaker 5: But I know.
Speaker 6: On here's Morgan and you know several things he's done
Speaker 6: recently in an article in Airmail where he talks about
Speaker 6: what happened to him at fourteen, he was molested by
Speaker 6: his youth pastor and when it happens in a church,
Speaker 6: a child can tend to blame God, like why did
Speaker 6: you let this happen to me? But I really pray
Speaker 6: that I have a platform in this area, because you know,
Speaker 6: children at that age, they're young, they blame themselves, they
Speaker 6: have shame, thinking it's their fault. And he told us
Speaker 6: that he was not comfortable to go anymore to the
Speaker 6: youth group. But he said, nothing really happened, It's just
Speaker 6: he was inappropriate because again he was ashamed. So unfortunately,
Speaker 6: we took that at face value, because of course you
Speaker 6: always want to trust your son, but also these predators,
Speaker 6: if you will, they groomed themselves, they groom you, They
Speaker 6: groomed the child. He would travel with us, he would
Speaker 6: come to our house for dinner. He was, you know,
Speaker 6: one of our best friends, we thought, and he was
Speaker 6: doing such an amazing thing with the youth group at
Speaker 6: our church. So we took that at face value.
Speaker 5: So I was not.
Speaker 6: As proactive getting Army the help he needed to deal
Speaker 6: with that. And he said to me later in life,
Speaker 6: he goes, but mom, even if I said nothing happened,
Speaker 6: If a youth pastor even attempts something like that, it
Speaker 6: messes a child up. I said, you're absolutely right, and
Speaker 6: I was totally miss from seeing that. And we found
Speaker 6: out later that he had done that with several of
Speaker 6: the other of the young boys in the group, and
Speaker 6: we had him kicked out of the country. But Army goes, mom,
Speaker 6: I was the whistleblower. You know, nothing happened, So I
Speaker 6: think that was the downfall. Is an excuse for his
Speaker 6: behavior years later? Absolutely not. I'm not making excuses. But
Speaker 6: what I am saying is that God has truly brought
Speaker 6: this full circle. And I said, Army, I really believe
Speaker 6: that you could have a platform to help other people
Speaker 6: who have been through this, because it's the most devastating
Speaker 6: thing in the world when this happens.
Speaker 4: And up until fourteen, you never it wasn't like you
Speaker 4: don't know, I guess what I'm asking mostly like, is
Speaker 4: that like a chemical thing from birth? You're like, huh,
Speaker 4: you know, like there are kids at young ages trying
Speaker 4: to hurt animals or do things like that. But up
Speaker 4: until fourteen, okay, yeah, I always wonder.
Speaker 5: No, I didn't see any of that.
Speaker 6: I just noticed that he started questioning God, questioning the
Speaker 6: Bible from that point on, so I just knew that
Speaker 6: you know, something was going on.
Speaker 5: And I didn't.
Speaker 6: I didn't understand what was fully his devastation because he
Speaker 6: wasn't totally open about it rightfully. So I understand that
Speaker 6: too now. So no, I didn't see anything like that,
Speaker 6: but we didn't deal with it like we should have.
Speaker 4: Well, everything right is hindsight too, like you wish, like, Oh,
Speaker 4: there's so many things that I wish I would have
Speaker 4: dealt with when I was younger.
Speaker 3: You know, you see things like but you know, and
Speaker 3: we're in a.
Speaker 4: Different world now, Like we're in a very I feel
Speaker 4: like and not this is no excuse, but just truth.
Speaker 4: Like we're in a very open world. We talk about
Speaker 4: mental health and things like this so much more openly
Speaker 4: and with more understanding and with more awareness because we've
Speaker 4: learned so much over the years. Yeah, And I've followed
Speaker 4: along with Army. I did a movie with him years
Speaker 4: and years and years ago. Oh you're cute, Yeah he
Speaker 4: was lovely, and yeah, I mean it was so many
Speaker 4: years ago, and so I've kind of always followed along.
Speaker 4: And obviously he built and an incredible career for himself.
Speaker 4: And so when I saw that he was back on
Speaker 4: Pierce's show, I did watch most of the interview, and
Speaker 4: you know, he brought up and Pierce obviously brought up
Speaker 4: the cannibalism stuff. Was that really hard for you to
Speaker 4: let that label on your son be out there in
Speaker 4: the media.
Speaker 6: Well, I mean, you know, the saying being mothers, you
Speaker 6: understand this is a mother is as happy as her
Speaker 6: least happy child. And you know, it's one thing when
Speaker 6: you deal with things in your family, but when it's
Speaker 6: all over the world, it was kind of the perfect
Speaker 6: how should I say this, It was like the perfect storm.
Speaker 6: It was cancel culture. It was the me too movement,
Speaker 6: and there is a place for me too movement, of
Speaker 6: course there is, and I support that, but it's also
Speaker 6: been taken so far that these women can accuse men
Speaker 6: of things that never happened, Like the rape accusation has
Speaker 6: been dropped. You know, the very young woman who accused
Speaker 6: him of this, she stopped him after that and sent
Speaker 6: him tons of texts and would show up on movie sets.
Speaker 6: So that's not really a rape victim, if you will.
Speaker 6: And you know, we even Army has emails of her saying, yes,
Speaker 6: it was consensual type of deal. But she got caught
Speaker 6: up in the cancel culture. And the whole thing. And
Speaker 6: then it became the perfect storm because Army was everyone
Speaker 6: was stuck in their homes and locked in their apartments
Speaker 6: and working from home instead of being out because it
Speaker 6: was during COVID. So again I'm not making excuses. It
Speaker 6: just happened to be the perfect storm at that time
Speaker 6: when everyone was kind of locked up in their houses,
Speaker 6: if you will. But about the cannibalism, I mean, you know,
Speaker 6: I would call my friends and go, do you know
Speaker 6: what you have to do to be a cannibal? You
Speaker 6: actually have to eat people. It's like, where's the women
Speaker 6: with you know, missing limbs? And I'm not laughing about,
Speaker 6: you know, if that happens. What I'm laughing about is
Speaker 6: it's just so crazy.
Speaker 2: But they didn't get it from nowhere either.
Speaker 4: I mean, there was actual evidence of him speaking about
Speaker 4: doing things that were not natural and like ribs and
Speaker 4: what is.
Speaker 2: That in the of course. Yeah yeah, so it's not
Speaker 2: like they're just like throwing the term around.
Speaker 6: Well, but like Armie said, you know, he was in
Speaker 6: this wrong relationship that was very sexually explicit unfortunately between
Speaker 6: the two of them, and you say stuff, it's like
Speaker 6: me saying, you know, oh my gosh, that baby is
Speaker 6: so cute.
Speaker 5: I could eat you up. I mean, nobody's eating a baby,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean. I think it was that
Speaker 5: kind of thing.
Speaker 6: And you know, I can try to justify it all
Speaker 6: day long, but the bottom line is, nobody got eaten,
Speaker 6: nobody was raped.
Speaker 5: He was totally exonerated from all that.
Speaker 6: They did a two and a half year instigation on this,
Speaker 6: and trust me, if they really wanted a high, high
Speaker 6: profile case to nail someone hard in the pun it
Speaker 6: would be Army Hammer.
Speaker 5: So there was nothing.
Speaker 6: And Gloria already even dropped the case because Army's attorney
Speaker 6: sent her all the Texas of this girl stalking him
Speaker 6: after she came out and said, you know, accusing him
Speaker 6: of rape.
Speaker 5: So you know, what are you going to do? Right?
Speaker 6: The bottom line is is that God is faithful and
Speaker 6: God restores and he takes full responsibility for you know,
Speaker 6: having the upper hand and maybe taken advantage of these
Speaker 6: young women. But there was nothing criminal there. But you know,
Speaker 6: that's such a small part of my book. My book
Speaker 6: is really about everyone in life has been hammered, and
Speaker 6: when your heart's been hammered, there is always a God
Speaker 6: who is there waiting for us. Jesus died on the
Speaker 6: cross for us. He took the sins upon the world
Speaker 6: for us. And that's really what my book is about,
Speaker 6: is it's about redemption. And now you know, both my
Speaker 6: kids were very close and we're on the right path
Speaker 6: and we're serving the Lord again. And I believe God
Speaker 6: restores all I really do. And that's what my book
Speaker 6: is about, that even when you hit rock bottom, every
Speaker 6: heart has been hammered. But God is faithful, He restores
Speaker 6: the broken heart. And it's all about forgiveness. If we
Speaker 6: don't forgive, then we can't move forward because then we
Speaker 6: are eaten up with bitterness. I meet women all the
Speaker 6: time who have been through divorce and there's still better
Speaker 6: ten twenty years after the divorce, and I say to them,
Speaker 6: I know it's hard, and it's you know, I've been
Speaker 6: through it. But if you don't forgive, it doesn't hurt
Speaker 6: the other person, it hurts you. So I have many
Speaker 6: platforms that I really pray that God will give me,
Speaker 6: you know, the ability to be able to share with
Speaker 6: women because I've been through a lot.
Speaker 5: We all have. You know, it's a tough tough life.
Speaker 1: Speaking of forgiveness, and redemption with him being essentially canceled
Speaker 1: like you speak of cancel culture. Do you think that
Speaker 1: he has the ability to be forgiven by the masses.
Speaker 1: Do you think he has the ability to come back
Speaker 1: as an actor or do you think he's forever labeled
Speaker 1: this way and it is what it is, what it is,
Speaker 1: and he won't get any more jobs.
Speaker 6: No, he Actually, here's what I respect about the whole
Speaker 6: situation is, for four years, Army never came out and
Speaker 6: said a word. And because of that, you can imagine,
Speaker 6: I had vanity fair, I had everyone coming to me.
Speaker 6: Everybody wants to know what the mother has to say
Speaker 6: about it, and it's not my story to tell. Now
Speaker 6: I can tell it because he's come out. But since
Speaker 6: he's come out, he has already had many people contact
Speaker 6: him wanting to do projects with him. So I think
Speaker 6: he absolutely will come back because that's his love and
Speaker 6: that's what he loves. And again, there was nothing criminal
Speaker 6: everything that he was accused of, nothing was criminal that
Speaker 6: he did.
Speaker 5: He was morally wrong. That's how I say it.
Speaker 4: Do you I know you spoke that like so you've
Speaker 4: always been a woman of faith and you raise the
Speaker 4: boys that way, and then you mentioned the army had
Speaker 4: to fall away because obviously there's this disconnect with him
Speaker 4: with how can someone in a church and someone of
Speaker 4: godly standing do something to him at you know, fourteen?
Speaker 4: How is his relationship now with God in the same like,
Speaker 4: is this a family felt like overall? Are you all
Speaker 4: feeling like we believe in the Lord, we're walking with
Speaker 4: the Lord? Or is this is he still had that
Speaker 4: disconnect because of what happened to him.
Speaker 6: No, I think he has stepped through that process and
Speaker 6: I think he is definitely coming back to God. We
Speaker 6: pray together, now, we talk about the Lord together. He's
Speaker 6: truly come full circle. And again he had to die
Speaker 6: to self, his career had to die, his relationships had
Speaker 6: to die, and now he's restoring them and it's really
Speaker 6: beautiful to watch. Even he and his wife have this
Speaker 6: amazing co parenting relationship and they get along beautifully and
Speaker 6: they love their children and they're there for them. So
Speaker 6: it's wonderful.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean it's important.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And that's what you know. There's no part of
Speaker 4: you know again, people, I don't necessarily it's not necessarily
Speaker 4: I don't agree with what my ex did and the
Speaker 4: things that you know happened, but we share kids together,
Speaker 4: and so yes, it's yes, you know, I don't want
Speaker 4: to be the bitter, angry ex wife because it serves
Speaker 4: no purpose to my kids. But also myself, like, that's
Speaker 4: that's always a piece that I go back to. I'm like,
Speaker 4: it's that actually a lot. Yes, easier being his friend
Speaker 4: and I don't respect the things he did, but I
Speaker 4: can respect that he's still the father of my children.
Speaker 4: And yes, have a new relationship is kind of what
Speaker 4: I always say, right.
Speaker 6: And that's what it's all about when it's too big
Speaker 6: for us, because I went through the same thing as
Speaker 6: you know, I talk about it in my book, and
Speaker 6: my former husband and I became great friends, and we
Speaker 6: shared holidays together with our sons and our grandchildren, and
Speaker 6: when he died in the hospital, I would climb go
Speaker 6: and be with him and climb in bed with him
Speaker 6: and put my arms around him and say, you know
Speaker 6: how much I love you, and I exonerate you as
Speaker 6: being a wonderful father to my sons, to our sons,
Speaker 6: and forgiveness is a beautiful thing, it really is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So what do you want then?
Speaker 4: I mean, obviously you say a lot about forgiveness and
Speaker 4: you know, God being there to to you know, to
Speaker 4: heal all the broken pieces. What is the biggest takeaway
Speaker 4: from your book that you want people to take.
Speaker 6: I would say, you know, I titled it Hammered, and
Speaker 6: you know, I thought, well, maybe someone will walk by
Speaker 6: and go, oh great, someone wrote a book when they
Speaker 6: were hammered. This might be funny, anything to get him
Speaker 6: to pick it up, right, But really it's about every
Speaker 6: heart has been hammered. But I believe that people will
Speaker 6: fail us, but God will never fail us. And when
Speaker 6: people fail us, that's when we want to turn to God.
Speaker 6: Trust him, help him if it's hard to forgive, because
Speaker 6: forgiveness is a process too. It may not happen overnight.
Speaker 6: It's a tough thing, especially when you've been betrayed by
Speaker 6: the very person that you thought was your soulmate, the
Speaker 6: love of your life, the father to your children. But
Speaker 6: like you said, I appreciate what you said because I
Speaker 6: feel exactly the same way that if you don't forgive,
Speaker 6: it's only hurting yourself. So he may have hurt your past,
Speaker 6: but why let someone have the power over you to
Speaker 6: hurt your future. And that's where God comes in because
Speaker 6: he can help us forgive when it's too difficult for us.
Speaker 6: And you know, I've been through the best of life,
Speaker 6: and I've been through the worst. And if you are
Speaker 6: going to write a book, you've got to talk about
Speaker 6: the good, the bad, and the ugly. And that's why
Speaker 6: it took me ten years. I've kept putting it down
Speaker 6: because I was like, I don't want to put myself
Speaker 6: out there. But now I believe God held it up
Speaker 6: until we've all come full circle, as I talk about
Speaker 6: in chapter eighteen, how God has restored our family and
Speaker 6: brought everything back around, and you know, we've we've just
Speaker 6: all really been healed by the Lord. I believe that.
Speaker 4: Did you have to ask for Armies permission to write
Speaker 4: the book? Like did you tell him like, hey, I'm
Speaker 4: writing this book. And I know you said it's been
Speaker 4: ten years, so that was before everything happened. But obviously
Speaker 4: I'm sure you've added in certain details of that situation,
Speaker 4: I assume, So did you have to say, like, Hey,
Speaker 4: is this okay?
Speaker 2: And are you know what can I kind of put
Speaker 2: in it?
Speaker 6: Yes, I send it out to everyone that I even
Speaker 6: mentioned their name in and I only mentioned first names,
Speaker 6: but of course I would give my family the respect.
Speaker 6: So I sent the book to my sons and I said,
Speaker 6: you know, make sure you read chapter eighteen and if
Speaker 6: there's anything that you need or want taken out, of
Speaker 6: course I would do that.
Speaker 5: It's your story. You know.
Speaker 6: Yes, I'm your mother, but what I'm talking about is
Speaker 6: your story as your mother.
Speaker 5: So if there's anything you want to change or take out,
Speaker 5: let me know.
Speaker 6: And both sons called, and there were a couple legal
Speaker 6: things because my younger son is in a legal battle
Speaker 6: with that's a whole other story kind of touches on
Speaker 6: it in the book, but you know, Armie said, Mom,
Speaker 6: I'm so proud of you and I would not change
Speaker 6: one thing that you said in there. So I would
Speaker 6: have never done it if they didn't approve, because you know,
Speaker 6: you always you love your family, but you want to
Speaker 6: respect them as well as I did with everyone in
Speaker 6: the book.
Speaker 5: Yeah I did. I sure did well.
Speaker 4: And what's one thing that you want people to know
Speaker 4: about your son, Army, Well, any of.
Speaker 2: Two sons, h I have two cents.
Speaker 4: What do you want your biggest takeaway for people to
Speaker 4: have with Army to I know you say today like
Speaker 4: he's a different person, but like what would you want
Speaker 4: the imprint of Army in people's brain to be now?
Speaker 6: Well, I would like to say he's not a different
Speaker 6: person because in his childhood he was the sweet Army
Speaker 6: that he is today. And I love every set that
Speaker 6: I went on when he was acting. Every single set,
Speaker 6: I would say, people would come up to me and say,
Speaker 6: your son is the nicest person I've ever met in
Speaker 6: my life. He remembers everybody's name. He treats everybody with respect.
Speaker 6: I've heard that for the twenty years that he's been
Speaker 6: doing this. Maybe not twenty, I don't know how many
Speaker 6: years it is, but so I think he's come back
Speaker 6: to the person he used to be. He's not medicating,
Speaker 6: you know, he has dealt with the situation. At fourteen,
Speaker 6: he went to rehab for five months. You know, you
Speaker 6: don't do that for Alic. Then it was, oh, it
Speaker 6: was a publicity stunt. You know that he went to rehab.
Speaker 6: They all go to rehab for a publicity stunt. No,
Speaker 6: he got sober before he went, and then he dug
Speaker 6: deep and he said, I'm not leaving until I really
Speaker 6: get restored and I go back and make amends with
Speaker 6: everyone in my life. So I would say, he's back
Speaker 6: to the same person. And then my other son, Victor
Speaker 6: is seriously the kindest, sweetest person you'll ever meet in
Speaker 6: your life. I don't even remember disciplining him as a child.
Speaker 6: He was just this pretty much a perfect child. It's amazing.
Speaker 6: So I'm just proud of both of my boys. And
Speaker 6: we had to hit rock bottom and I say in
Speaker 6: my intro that we had to crash and burn like
Speaker 6: marshmallows on a fire, but we're back.
Speaker 2: I love that. Well, thank you so much for coming on.
Speaker 5: Thank you for your time. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 6: Okay, thank you golf, Okay, thanks by bye.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 2: I love a mom's heart.
Speaker 4: I think that's like the biggest takeaway is like the
Speaker 4: Alma's heart, you know, which I didn't really get until
Speaker 4: I became a mom.
Speaker 2: I don't know that you yet. I don't think you
Speaker 2: fully can.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I don't think of most anything you can
Speaker 4: really fully understand until you walk at yourself in life
Speaker 4: in general.
Speaker 1: Well even if you think about even being a mom.
Speaker 1: Let's say, because I thought about this some manytimes, like
Speaker 1: if you have a child that like murders someone or
Speaker 1: that does something, how hard that would be. I mean,
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine that as a mom, how you
Speaker 1: still love but you know, you'll still love your child.
Speaker 1: There's no way to not love your child no matter
Speaker 1: what they've done.
Speaker 2: Right, you might be to the was it.
Speaker 1: And the letter in is the M degree M degree
Speaker 1: because in the thing it's into in it's a degree I.
Speaker 4: Think with the I think into the nth degree. Let's
Speaker 4: just go with that. You're still gonna love. Yeah, you're
Speaker 4: your child no matter how horrendous it is.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, But but that that's I mean, and that's
Speaker 2: why it's such a tough one though.
Speaker 4: But also like again, like I just remember, like I'll
Speaker 4: never forget calling my exes. Sorry I mean to cut
Speaker 4: you off, but my ex's parents when everything went down
Speaker 4: in Orlando, like just their whole world spinning and being
Speaker 4: like what, No, that's not our son because it's like
Speaker 4: you you almost can't imagine that your kids could do.
Speaker 3: Something like that because I believe it's not.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 4: And then so it's like I can't imagine being in
Speaker 4: this situation where you're like you want to eat people,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, Like you you taste the blood,
Speaker 4: like it's like there's just like it's like a what right,
Speaker 4: I'm so confused.
Speaker 1: Well, and it's like even having her on, it's like
Speaker 1: you want to like argue those things, right, but also
Speaker 1: like it is.
Speaker 2: Hers do you argue with the mom? Literally like me?
Speaker 4: But he says he wanted and I appreciated what you
Speaker 4: were you kind of went well, it's not subjective. He
Speaker 4: did text saying like he wanted to eat her her
Speaker 4: ribs and like break your bones, so like, but also
Speaker 4: I understand someone being sick, you know what I mean,
Speaker 4: and like I can relate it to like though it's different,
Speaker 4: it was still you know, a sexual thing of sickness,
Speaker 4: you know.
Speaker 2: But she's always going to with the mom. I guess
Speaker 2: like she's going to.
Speaker 1: I think she's argue word like she doesn't and I
Speaker 1: think she did a beautiful job of he was morally
Speaker 1: wrong obviously, okay. And that he's been healed, who knows
Speaker 1: to we'll say they've been healed all the time, who knows.
Speaker 1: And that's not for us to even to decide if
Speaker 1: he's healed or not. That's between him and God, not
Speaker 1: even my you know, my thing. But I'm like, you
Speaker 1: could go back and forth all day long. But but
Speaker 1: but and then she could go back and so forth
Speaker 1: and said, well he said this, he didn't really mean
Speaker 1: it like that, but like that doesn't.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but anybody gets pressed ready, they know exactly what
Speaker 4: they need to say. He's not criminally wrong, he's morally
Speaker 4: like they have to get buttoned up, right. And I
Speaker 4: also I get she's a mom. She's going to defend,
Speaker 4: but she's also not coming in with a on her shoulder, either, right,
Speaker 4: which I think why you don't even need to argue, right,
Speaker 4: But I also don't want to take away any of
Speaker 4: like the victims exactly. I just want to say that
Speaker 4: because one hundred percent from watching those things, that is
Speaker 4: their stories, that is their you know that it was
Speaker 4: their life, and you know, I think maybe he wasn't. Again,
Speaker 4: we don't know the ins and outs of it. I
Speaker 4: know he wasn't criminally charged, but that victim might have
Speaker 4: been let down in that criminal system as well, so
Speaker 4: like things that went on. So I just don't want
Speaker 4: to take away from like their emotions, feelings and what
Speaker 4: they went through because I can't imagine being subjected to
Speaker 4: some of that stuff. That's why I was like, it's
Speaker 4: actually not pulled out of nowhere because it's factual information,
Speaker 4: right that he has said those things, So maybe that's
Speaker 4: not criminal, but that doesn't make it okay, right, right, And.
Speaker 1: I think it's really important, and it's really important. I
Speaker 1: wish I knew the stats because I was thinking about
Speaker 1: this when she was talking about it. People that commit
Speaker 1: I guess he did not commit sexual crimes, but who
Speaker 1: dream about them, who think about them, who commit them.
Speaker 1: There's a huge stat of those who have been molested
Speaker 1: as a child. I don't know what that is, but
Speaker 1: that's a huge number, and I think that's a very
Speaker 1: important talking point.
Speaker 2: That goes un.
Speaker 1: Treated so many times, and that turns into so many
Speaker 1: bad things in the future. And I just think that
Speaker 1: that's I don't know what the answer to that is.
Speaker 1: I don't know what could have changed that situation. Would
Speaker 1: it have changed had his parents known and got him
Speaker 1: into therapy, or would he still have had those issues?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: And that's such a fear as a mother, because it's
Speaker 1: like one act like that that is out of your
Speaker 1: control can change the trajectory of that person's life.
Speaker 2: For the rest of their life.
Speaker 1: And that's just something that when she said that, I'm like, man,
Speaker 1: that's heavy, and that's scary, and I wanted to ask her,
Speaker 1: but I don't know that she knows the answer more
Speaker 1: than getting him help right away. What is the answer
Speaker 1: to that when that happens to someone else at fourteen,
Speaker 1: so it doesn't turn into some thing that he that
Speaker 1: person is dealing with when they're an adult.
Speaker 4: Well, I think again too, I don't know the statistics
Speaker 4: of it, but most of the times you don't know
Speaker 4: about it until years and years and years after. So
Speaker 4: like I'm sure I would think that she wouldn't have
Speaker 4: known it, you know, right, But because if something like
Speaker 4: that happened just now, knowing everything like in life today,
Speaker 4: like if if if because I think they're they feel
Speaker 4: ashamed or they think here's their falter, which is why
Speaker 4: a lot of those survivors and victims don't talk about
Speaker 4: it because they feel the shame a piece of it.
Speaker 4: So I think, if you know, if someone was to
Speaker 4: come to us and that happened, then I'd be like,
Speaker 4: we're going into therapy, you know what I mean. But
Speaker 4: even then you still don't know their repercussions, like what happens, right,
Speaker 4: So it's scary and a lot of times they're groomed
Speaker 4: to not say a word like it's it's for me
Speaker 4: to feel like you wanted this.
Speaker 1: She liked this.
Speaker 3: It's ezy, right, yeah.
Speaker 4: I mean even I was watching with the Olympics and stuff,
Speaker 4: and I was watching the Simone Bios. Always watched that
Speaker 4: on Netflix.
Speaker 2: I haven't yet. I want to.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just it's a two episode or it's good.
Speaker 4: And you know, she was just saying again like with
Speaker 4: the Larry that Larry now, yeah, how it was like
Speaker 4: they didn't really know that it was wrong, but it
Speaker 4: was wrong, you know, so then you and so you
Speaker 4: don't talk about it because you just think it's normal.
Speaker 1: Well, some of it's not as obvious, right, I know
Speaker 1: that seems like ridiculous because it's all wrong to say,
Speaker 1: but I just think it's not all just so obvious,
Speaker 1: like an actual sexual rape, you know. I mean it's
Speaker 1: not always the case. A lot of times it's not.
Speaker 1: And I think those girls were like, okay, so his
Speaker 1: hand was there, but like he has me in like
Speaker 1: a medical situation. Right, it's hard. I can see that
Speaker 1: one of a lot of them. I can see where
Speaker 1: they were questioning. I truly can.
Speaker 2: And they were in each other if they said it
Speaker 2: at all, they leaned into each other, and none. I
Speaker 2: see how that one happened the way that it did.
Speaker 1: I truly do so messed up. I know it's so
Speaker 1: messed up. But anyway, everyone go get her book.
Speaker 2: Hammered.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because I do like the underlying message of it too,
Speaker 4: you know, I think redemption and forgiveness is a beautiful thing,
Speaker 4: and so yeah, absolutely available.
Speaker 2: Now see you guys next week.
Speaker 3: See you by