WEBVTT - Bowl Chat - Scotty's Weird Donut Eating

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<v Speaker 1>We're good. Hey, hey, hey, hold on, hold on, and

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<v Speaker 1>we are recording, are we Yeah, we're recording on my end?

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<v Speaker 2>We are, Hey, Andrew?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh hi, Scott?

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<v Speaker 2>What's going on? Not much?

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<v Speaker 1>You know what today is?

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<v Speaker 2>What is it Wednesday?

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<v Speaker 1>Which means it's another episode of.

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<v Speaker 2>Bull Chat. Yay, that's so stupid. All of that is

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<v Speaker 2>so stupid, stupid. No, we don't do that on this one.

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<v Speaker 1>No we do.

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<v Speaker 2>We don't make fun of each other.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes we do. It's however we feel in that moment.

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<v Speaker 1>And right now I feel like making fun of you.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh okay, Hey, can I have one of those gloves?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>You cover the gloves?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you need them?

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<v Speaker 2>I need a glove? Okay, can I have a glove?

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<v Speaker 2>What are you about to do? I'm gonna eat this donut?

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<v Speaker 1>Why do you need gloves for? Oh god? How many

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<v Speaker 1>do you need?

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<v Speaker 2>Just one?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh god?

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<v Speaker 2>What are you.

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<v Speaker 1>About to do?

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<v Speaker 2>What do you want to talk about today? Buddy?

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<v Speaker 1>I want to watch whatever you're trying to do with

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<v Speaker 1>this glove? Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, see, I don't actually eat whole donuts anymore because

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<v Speaker 2>I don't eat the donut part. I only eat the

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<v Speaker 2>the cream and the frosting. And you know, the whole

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<v Speaker 2>story because I almost died.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, he almost. You're a murderer.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want to get greasy door. You have a

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<v Speaker 2>psychopath all over my hand?

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<v Speaker 1>Why this is a mental illness?

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<v Speaker 2>Why which matter?

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<v Speaker 1>So what you're doing is scraping the chocolate off, eating

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<v Speaker 1>the chocolate, and that's fine.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll remove the chocolate from the donut and I'll eat

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<v Speaker 2>the filling, but I won't eat the dough. I'm sure

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<v Speaker 2>you have some quirky things you do, not this. Well,

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<v Speaker 2>guess what now? I can get into size thirty four

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<v Speaker 2>geens because I do this?

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<v Speaker 1>Is it worth it?

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<v Speaker 2>Because it doesn't look like I went down from thirty

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<v Speaker 2>six because I only eat the tops and insides of donuts.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think that's why, Scott. I really don't.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm pretty sure it is.

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<v Speaker 1>Scott. This is insane. Please just eat the full donut. No,

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<v Speaker 1>this is insane. You're wasting a donut.

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<v Speaker 2>You can have it.

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<v Speaker 1>Why do I want? It's a pastry with cream in it.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I'm gonna eat the cream.

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<v Speaker 1>You realize that that's where all the calories are.

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<v Speaker 2>Watch, I don't care. Oh it's a good one. It's

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<v Speaker 2>Boston cream. Mhmm. Wait, so what do you want to

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<v Speaker 2>talk about today? That's good.

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<v Speaker 1>This is disgusting. You're a disgusting person. Why just eat

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<v Speaker 1>the donut, dude.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sure you have quirks.

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<v Speaker 1>This is not one of them. But this is not

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<v Speaker 1>This is not normal, just one of mine. I found

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<v Speaker 1>out my friend Pat when he eats burgers, huh, takes

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<v Speaker 1>the burger apart. So he'll take one bite of it

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<v Speaker 1>as a full burger right, then he'll take the top

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<v Speaker 1>bun off and the bottom bun.

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<v Speaker 2>Then.

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<v Speaker 1>This is disgusting. This is this is why we started

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<v Speaker 1>bull chat because people need to know that you are

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<v Speaker 1>like a serial killer. Here go HELLEL serial killer, but

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<v Speaker 1>an s E R. I a L killer. Like nobody

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<v Speaker 1>does this. Nobody eats a donut with a glove.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't be the Okay, well, I just don't want

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<v Speaker 2>to get quittal of my fingers. I'm next and clean,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'll just dispose of this properly.

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<v Speaker 1>A full donut. You're disposing of not.

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<v Speaker 2>A full doughnut. It's only about three quarters of a donut.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, It's basically you just threw away a glazed donut. No, no,

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<v Speaker 1>I ate the insides on the top, just eat the

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<v Speaker 1>full donut. No, that's not you're not taking away calories.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't really eat pastries anymore. That's a thing of mine.

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<v Speaker 1>Because one time you had a cinnabon and we're convinced

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<v Speaker 1>you had a heart attack.

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<v Speaker 2>Do we need to get into the whole thing. I've

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<v Speaker 2>already told the story before.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, and it's I still think a little comical okay,

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<v Speaker 1>changed your life completely.

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<v Speaker 2>I passed out.

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<v Speaker 1>Because you ate like fifteen cinnabon delights from Taco Bell,

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<v Speaker 1>the little mini things.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, they weren't that many. So I just decided for

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<v Speaker 2>myself to be better and not eat fried lardie pastries anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>You be, but you still eat them. You're eating the inside.

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<v Speaker 2>That wasn't the pastry. That's how my bread. My mind

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<v Speaker 2>was sole lard in the cream.

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<v Speaker 1>There's there's no lard or any type of grossness in

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<v Speaker 1>the in the top part, the chocolate part.

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<v Speaker 2>Why can't you just let my mind work the way it.

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<v Speaker 1>Works because your mind is dumb in this case?

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<v Speaker 2>Shall we move on?

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<v Speaker 1>Well? No, Because my friend Pat eats burgers where he

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<v Speaker 1>deconstructs the whole burger and then tacos. It he'll eat

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<v Speaker 1>it like a taco. He'll fold it in half. It's

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<v Speaker 1>the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, there's a place by me called Burghito's and it's

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<v Speaker 2>a burger burrito.

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<v Speaker 1>I loved that place. Yeah, they came up to the show.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't believe you remember that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean it was delicious. How can I not forget?

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<v Speaker 1>How could I forget it?

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<v Speaker 2>I may go there today. They're still open.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you going to take apart the tortilla because apparently

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<v Speaker 1>the insidees are the only No.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I'll just tell them what I don't want in it.

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<v Speaker 2>Uey Chiro's not anymore. No, I don't.

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<v Speaker 1>I just don't understand. It's not like you're not doing anything.

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<v Speaker 1>You eat cereal, which is basically a patie.

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<v Speaker 2>Here's the thing, And you're not the only one that

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<v Speaker 2>gives me crap. My wife makes fun of me too.

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<v Speaker 2>I could you imagine if I did eat all of that,

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<v Speaker 2>I'd seven and fifty pounds.

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<v Speaker 1>You wouldn't, though I would, because I've cut it all out.

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<v Speaker 1>You're not.

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<v Speaker 2>Why does it bother you?

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<v Speaker 1>Because there's no willpower? And there is hell, there's.

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<v Speaker 2>So much willpower i'd have been a birthday cake in

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<v Speaker 2>three years.

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<v Speaker 1>I get fruit now, Scott, one piece of cake. Unless

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<v Speaker 1>you're someone who like can't stop them.

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<v Speaker 2>I eat one piece, I will continue. It's just like

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<v Speaker 2>a smoker or a drinker or someone that's on or

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<v Speaker 2>off the wagon or whatever that wagon is. If I

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<v Speaker 2>have one piece or one thing, I'm gonna eat it

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<v Speaker 2>again and again. I don't want to. Why is that bad?

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<v Speaker 2>Why do you get so angry?

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<v Speaker 1>It's just the way that you're eating it. You're still

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<v Speaker 1>eating it. It's like eating. It's like saying, oh, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't smoke, but you jewel. It's like you're still vape.

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<v Speaker 2>No, that's completely different. There's nicotine in both of them,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's still going in your lungs.

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<v Speaker 1>You're still eating chocolate frosting.

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<v Speaker 2>Please move on. This is just an argument. It's an

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<v Speaker 2>argument that nobody's gonna win. So can we just move on.

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<v Speaker 2>I was your day and you didn't win. I won,

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<v Speaker 2>you didn't, Scott. Okay, when people hear this back, it's

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<v Speaker 2>going to be team me. There's gonna be other people

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<v Speaker 2>that say, hey, I'm with Scott. I get it. I

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<v Speaker 2>totally get I.

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<v Speaker 1>Eat donuts with gloves. I'm with Scott.

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<v Speaker 2>No, but I understand that he doesn't want to eat

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<v Speaker 2>the fatty lardy pastry part. I get it. It's fine, Andrew.

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<v Speaker 2>What else is going on in your life?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, my birthday is next week?

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<v Speaker 2>Hey hey? Hey?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Where shows that from? Uh?

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<v Speaker 1>Fat Albert? Hey?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes? But no, the hey hey hey that I did

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<v Speaker 2>is actually Duwayne from What's Happening? Hey hey hey, is

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<v Speaker 2>fat Albert? They did the haze differently.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh that's cool.

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<v Speaker 2>I was speaking of fat Albert and heart attacks? Do

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<v Speaker 2>you know that this is an interesting story? I'm full

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<v Speaker 2>of them, you know. Yeah. When I was in fourth grade,

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<v Speaker 2>I was. I was a huge fan of fat Albert.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know why, but I was. That was my thing.

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<v Speaker 2>But when I was in fourth grade, I didn't want

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<v Speaker 2>to go to school so badly that I faked an

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<v Speaker 2>illness and I pretended to vomit and I pretended that

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<v Speaker 2>I had something wrong with my stomach. And I stayed

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<v Speaker 2>home from school for a couple of days. And then

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<v Speaker 2>every time like the bus would come, I would go yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>and I would pour water in the toilet. And it

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<v Speaker 2>is such a convincing sound of me vomiting that I

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<v Speaker 2>would stay home from school again and it would just

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<v Speaker 2>keep happening, and my mom would there's something wrong with you.

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<v Speaker 2>We need to have you checked out. And I was

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<v Speaker 2>admitted to the hospital for a week. And of course

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't fake throw up in the hospital. I just

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<v Speaker 2>was eating the food and watching TV and loving life.

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<v Speaker 2>And the fat Albert thing comes in is because my

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<v Speaker 2>fourth grade class all sent me letters with pictures of

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<v Speaker 2>fat Albert because I liked it, and I still have them.

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<v Speaker 2>I still have them. But then on the very last

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<v Speaker 2>day that I was being discharged from the hospital, I

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<v Speaker 2>pretended to vomit and then they were like, okay, get out.

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<v Speaker 1>So yeah, So to bring this full circle, huh, you

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<v Speaker 1>are the same person that's also eating donuts now with

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<v Speaker 1>a glove.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so we could have predicted this when I was

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<v Speaker 2>in fourth grade.

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<v Speaker 1>One hundred percent the hypochondriac and you slash whatever goes

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<v Speaker 1>on with you. Yeah, I am actually and I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know if I've mentioned this. I am terrified of throw up.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh.

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<v Speaker 1>I can actually remember every time I've ever vomited in

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<v Speaker 1>my entire life.

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<v Speaker 2>You do have it written down, don't you.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know all in really, the old ticker see

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<v Speaker 1>to me, the last time I threw up was October tenth,

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<v Speaker 1>two thousand and nineteen.

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<v Speaker 2>Where were you? What were you doing?

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<v Speaker 1>I drank too much. It was the only time I've

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<v Speaker 1>ever vomited from drinking too much.

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<v Speaker 2>The only time I ever vomited from drinking too much

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<v Speaker 2>was at Webster Hall in New York City. We were

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<v Speaker 2>at a Z one hundred appearance and I ran down

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<v Speaker 2>the steps. I don't know if you are familiar with it,

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<v Speaker 2>to me too. At the very bottom of the steps

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<v Speaker 2>was the bathroom and there's a velvet couch with a

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<v Speaker 2>payphone where they used to be. I mean, this is

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<v Speaker 2>twenty years ago. And I ran down and I didn't

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<v Speaker 2>make it, and I vomited all over the couch, all

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<v Speaker 2>over it. And I just sat there with my legs

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<v Speaker 2>cross because I felt like an idiot. Some girl came

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<v Speaker 2>up and I was like, hey baby, you know, and

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<v Speaker 2>there was corn all over my face.

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<v Speaker 1>Shut up. That is disgusting.

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<v Speaker 2>I swear it was the worst night of my life.

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<v Speaker 1>That is not the visual we need to give people

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<v Speaker 1>on this podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>No, but it's funny because I think it's funny to

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<v Speaker 2>watch people vomit.

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<v Speaker 1>God, No, more.

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<v Speaker 2>Like on TV or in cartoon, like every time in

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<v Speaker 2>Family Guy when Uh Peter vomits or Stewie whoever vomits

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<v Speaker 2>like NonStop hilarious. And I and at the old radio station,

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<v Speaker 2>I would follow some guy around with the camera. He

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<v Speaker 2>would throw up and I would laugh, Oh God. As

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<v Speaker 2>soon as the smell hit me, it was all over.

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<v Speaker 2>But I think it's funny to watch vomitses, not to

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<v Speaker 2>smell it.

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<v Speaker 1>I have an intense phobia of the pre part. Like

0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:26.360
<v Speaker 1>to me, I yeah, see that. To me, I don't

0:09:26.360 --> 0:09:29.120
<v Speaker 1>think you understand. In grade school, like I was like

0:09:29.120 --> 0:09:31.560
<v Speaker 1>a hawk and I stopped like I would look around

0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:33.400
<v Speaker 1>class after lunch and be like, who is it today?

0:09:33.440 --> 0:09:34.760
<v Speaker 1>Whoa Who's gonna do it today?

0:09:34.960 --> 0:09:36.000
<v Speaker 2>Vomited in school every day.

0:09:36.520 --> 0:09:39.720
<v Speaker 1>In my head, I was always so terrified that people

0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:41.840
<v Speaker 1>were going to get sick, and so I would watch

0:09:41.840 --> 0:09:43.800
<v Speaker 1>them and be like, from school lunch, Oh my god,

0:09:43.880 --> 0:09:46.040
<v Speaker 1>is this gonna yes? Always from school I.

0:09:46.040 --> 0:09:48.200
<v Speaker 2>Was all about it. I ate. I am such an

0:09:48.240 --> 0:09:52.120
<v Speaker 2>industrial food guy. It's funny because I'm the opposite of

0:09:52.160 --> 0:09:55.280
<v Speaker 2>every other kid in school. The only meal I did

0:09:55.320 --> 0:09:58.400
<v Speaker 2>not like was pizza. So on Fridays I brought food

0:09:58.440 --> 0:09:58.840
<v Speaker 2>from home.

0:09:58.960 --> 0:09:59.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, you were the person.

0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:03.280
<v Speaker 2>And ate the boiled hot I ate everything, the meat loaf,

0:10:03.640 --> 0:10:05.920
<v Speaker 2>the chicken that they had, this chicken patty that I

0:10:05.960 --> 0:10:08.559
<v Speaker 2>don't even know what it was, chip delicious, thuff, yeah,

0:10:08.559 --> 0:10:11.480
<v Speaker 2>sloppy Joe's. I ate everything, and I loved it. I

0:10:11.520 --> 0:10:14.360
<v Speaker 2>didn't love the hamburgers, but everything else I ate. Turkey

0:10:14.400 --> 0:10:15.800
<v Speaker 2>on I got turkey was like a feast.

0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:19.160
<v Speaker 1>It's like a smell. I feel like all great school

0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:21.400
<v Speaker 1>cafeterias smell the same. It doesn't matter where you are

0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:23.840
<v Speaker 1>in the continental United States, if you walk into a

0:10:23.880 --> 0:10:26.560
<v Speaker 1>school cafeteria, it will always smell the same.

0:10:26.679 --> 0:10:27.760
<v Speaker 2>Do you remember safety Pup?

0:10:28.480 --> 0:10:29.920
<v Speaker 1>I do not remember sety pup.

0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:31.800
<v Speaker 2>Safety Pup was on the side of the little milk

0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:35.720
<v Speaker 2>cartons that you would get for a quarter in the cafeteria. Yeah.

0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:38.120
<v Speaker 2>He would always have a little uh you know, hey,

0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:40.319
<v Speaker 2>kids just say no. It was always like some kind

0:10:40.320 --> 0:10:42.560
<v Speaker 2>of you know, eighties thing. Drug.

0:10:42.720 --> 0:10:45.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we're gonna stop everyone from doing drugs with safety pup.

0:10:45.679 --> 0:10:47.880
<v Speaker 2>And dare Yeah. Keep talking. I'm gonna look up safety

0:10:47.880 --> 0:10:49.679
<v Speaker 2>Pup because I'm a bet you it's a thing.

0:10:49.840 --> 0:10:52.400
<v Speaker 1>The chocolate milk they always had two tasted the same,

0:10:52.880 --> 0:10:55.880
<v Speaker 1>the every milk. I feel like it's the same in schools,

0:10:56.440 --> 0:10:58.120
<v Speaker 1>the plays.

0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:02.120
<v Speaker 2>Not anymore. Now there's lactose free and free and everything free,

0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:04.440
<v Speaker 2>you know, for the people that can't eat vegans and

0:11:04.440 --> 0:11:05.120
<v Speaker 2>all this stuff.

0:11:05.120 --> 0:11:06.320
<v Speaker 1>There's vegan kids.

0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:08.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah please really?

0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:11.839
<v Speaker 1>Uh huh are any of your daughter's friends vegan? Oh?

0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:12.720
<v Speaker 1>Hold on one second?

0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:15.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh here we go both on phones. Oh wait, wait?

0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:16.920
<v Speaker 2>What do we do talk? What am I supposed to do?

0:11:17.440 --> 0:11:20.400
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what to do? All right? So here's

0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:23.839
<v Speaker 2>Oh this is you know what I'm looking up, Safety Pup.

0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:27.040
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't I don't think that this is him. It

0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:28.840
<v Speaker 2>could be it's his, for it's from the eighties, you know,

0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:31.120
<v Speaker 2>I think this is him. Do you remember this guy,

0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:34.640
<v Speaker 2>Safety Pup? He was on the side of the milk cartons.

0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:36.240
<v Speaker 2>I wish I could find a milk carton. Oh yeah,

0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:39.360
<v Speaker 2>there it is. How funny. See I knew, I knew

0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:45.320
<v Speaker 2>what I was talking about. Safety Pup says, never take

0:11:45.400 --> 0:11:49.800
<v Speaker 2>short cuts on the way home. See, and then milk

0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:51.960
<v Speaker 2>was a quarter. But I guess I'm dating myself because

0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:55.600
<v Speaker 2>I think it's a dollar now. But actually, now during

0:11:55.600 --> 0:11:59.760
<v Speaker 2>COVID they are giving kids free lunches in my district anyway.

0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:01.440
<v Speaker 2>I don't if it's a state wide thing or a

0:12:01.440 --> 0:12:04.640
<v Speaker 2>federal thing or whatever it is. But I order lunch

0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:08.240
<v Speaker 2>for Cooper in school every day. Ashley, a little bit older,

0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:10.959
<v Speaker 2>not into lunch in the cafeteria. She always brings stuff

0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:12.760
<v Speaker 2>from home. All right, So we were just talking about

0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:13.680
<v Speaker 2>safety pop Andrew.

0:12:15.000 --> 0:12:18.520
<v Speaker 1>Sorry, I had a work call. Uh huh with Elvis.

0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:20.320
<v Speaker 2>So did we do enough? Or you want to go?

0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:22.120
<v Speaker 1>This is what ten minutes?

0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:23.080
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, twelve?

0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:26.480
<v Speaker 1>Oh? What? See? I feel like natural conversation. This is

0:12:26.520 --> 0:12:28.360
<v Speaker 1>how we actually talk to each other when it was

0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:29.160
<v Speaker 1>pre pandemic.

0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:31.200
<v Speaker 2>No, we don't. We always yelled at each other.

0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:32.880
<v Speaker 1>Well, I mean we still yell at each other. I

0:12:32.880 --> 0:12:34.160
<v Speaker 1>mean I made fun of you for the first five

0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:36.800
<v Speaker 1>minutes of this podcast, just like I would pre pandemic

0:12:36.880 --> 0:12:39.040
<v Speaker 1>sitting watch you eat a donut, and you would have

0:12:39.160 --> 0:12:42.280
<v Speaker 1>used a glove to eat a donut pre pandemic as well.

0:12:42.559 --> 0:12:44.480
<v Speaker 2>That's not true, but only because there were no gloves

0:12:44.720 --> 0:12:47.720
<v Speaker 2>readily available. Now they're everywhere, and I know, if.

0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:49.640
<v Speaker 1>Anything, it supports your weird thing.

0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:51.440
<v Speaker 2>I don't like to get my hands dirty, and now

0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:53.120
<v Speaker 2>I don't have to go wash my hands again.

0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:57.320
<v Speaker 1>In your defense, I have a weird phobia of I

0:12:57.360 --> 0:13:02.120
<v Speaker 1>don't like that, I don't like condiments like mustard or.

0:13:04.200 --> 0:13:08.720
<v Speaker 2>Okay, let's just end it. Okay, say Clink Andrew Clink.