Speaker 1: We're good. Hey, hey, hey, hold on, hold on, and
Speaker 1: we are recording, are we Yeah, we're recording on my end?
Speaker 2: We are, Hey, Andrew?
Speaker 1: Oh hi, Scott?
Speaker 2: What's going on? Not much?
Speaker 1: You know what today is?
Speaker 2: What is it Wednesday?
Speaker 1: Which means it's another episode of.
Speaker 2: Bull Chat. Yay, that's so stupid. All of that is
Speaker 2: so stupid, stupid. No, we don't do that on this one.
Speaker 1: No we do.
Speaker 2: We don't make fun of each other.
Speaker 1: Yes we do. It's however we feel in that moment.
Speaker 1: And right now I feel like making fun of you.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, Hey, can I have one of those gloves?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: You cover the gloves?
Speaker 1: Do you need them?
Speaker 2: I need a glove? Okay, can I have a glove?
Speaker 2: What are you about to do? I'm gonna eat this donut?
Speaker 1: Why do you need gloves for? Oh god? How many
Speaker 1: do you need?
Speaker 2: Just one?
Speaker 1: Oh god?
Speaker 2: What are you.
Speaker 1: About to do?
Speaker 2: What do you want to talk about today? Buddy?
Speaker 1: I want to watch whatever you're trying to do with
Speaker 1: this glove? Oh?
Speaker 2: Well, see, I don't actually eat whole donuts anymore because
Speaker 2: I don't eat the donut part. I only eat the
Speaker 2: the cream and the frosting. And you know, the whole
Speaker 2: story because I almost died.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he almost. You're a murderer.
Speaker 2: I don't want to get greasy door. You have a
Speaker 2: psychopath all over my hand?
Speaker 1: Why this is a mental illness?
Speaker 2: Why which matter?
Speaker 1: So what you're doing is scraping the chocolate off, eating
Speaker 1: the chocolate, and that's fine.
Speaker 2: I'll remove the chocolate from the donut and I'll eat
Speaker 2: the filling, but I won't eat the dough. I'm sure
Speaker 2: you have some quirky things you do, not this. Well,
Speaker 2: guess what now? I can get into size thirty four
Speaker 2: geens because I do this?
Speaker 1: Is it worth it?
Speaker 2: Because it doesn't look like I went down from thirty
Speaker 2: six because I only eat the tops and insides of donuts.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's why, Scott. I really don't.
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure it is.
Speaker 1: Scott. This is insane. Please just eat the full donut. No,
Speaker 1: this is insane. You're wasting a donut.
Speaker 2: You can have it.
Speaker 1: Why do I want? It's a pastry with cream in it.
Speaker 2: No, I'm gonna eat the cream.
Speaker 1: You realize that that's where all the calories are.
Speaker 2: Watch, I don't care. Oh it's a good one. It's
Speaker 2: Boston cream. Mhmm. Wait, so what do you want to
Speaker 2: talk about today? That's good.
Speaker 1: This is disgusting. You're a disgusting person. Why just eat
Speaker 1: the donut, dude.
Speaker 2: I'm sure you have quirks.
Speaker 1: This is not one of them. But this is not
Speaker 1: This is not normal, just one of mine. I found
Speaker 1: out my friend Pat when he eats burgers, huh, takes
Speaker 1: the burger apart. So he'll take one bite of it
Speaker 1: as a full burger right, then he'll take the top
Speaker 1: bun off and the bottom bun.
Speaker 2: Then.
Speaker 1: This is disgusting. This is this is why we started
Speaker 1: bull chat because people need to know that you are
Speaker 1: like a serial killer. Here go HELLEL serial killer, but
Speaker 1: an s E R. I a L killer. Like nobody
Speaker 1: does this. Nobody eats a donut with a glove.
Speaker 2: I can't be the Okay, well, I just don't want
Speaker 2: to get quittal of my fingers. I'm next and clean,
Speaker 2: and I'll just dispose of this properly.
Speaker 1: A full donut. You're disposing of not.
Speaker 2: A full doughnut. It's only about three quarters of a donut.
Speaker 1: Now, It's basically you just threw away a glazed donut. No, no,
Speaker 1: I ate the insides on the top, just eat the
Speaker 1: full donut. No, that's not you're not taking away calories.
Speaker 2: I don't really eat pastries anymore. That's a thing of mine.
Speaker 1: Because one time you had a cinnabon and we're convinced
Speaker 1: you had a heart attack.
Speaker 2: Do we need to get into the whole thing. I've
Speaker 2: already told the story before.
Speaker 1: I know, and it's I still think a little comical okay,
Speaker 1: changed your life completely.
Speaker 2: I passed out.
Speaker 1: Because you ate like fifteen cinnabon delights from Taco Bell,
Speaker 1: the little mini things.
Speaker 2: Yes, they weren't that many. So I just decided for
Speaker 2: myself to be better and not eat fried lardie pastries anymore.
Speaker 1: You be, but you still eat them. You're eating the inside.
Speaker 2: That wasn't the pastry. That's how my bread. My mind
Speaker 2: was sole lard in the cream.
Speaker 1: There's there's no lard or any type of grossness in
Speaker 1: the in the top part, the chocolate part.
Speaker 2: Why can't you just let my mind work the way it.
Speaker 1: Works because your mind is dumb in this case?
Speaker 2: Shall we move on?
Speaker 1: Well? No, Because my friend Pat eats burgers where he
Speaker 1: deconstructs the whole burger and then tacos. It he'll eat
Speaker 1: it like a taco. He'll fold it in half. It's
Speaker 1: the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.
Speaker 2: Well, there's a place by me called Burghito's and it's
Speaker 2: a burger burrito.
Speaker 1: I loved that place. Yeah, they came up to the show.
Speaker 2: I can't believe you remember that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it was delicious. How can I not forget?
Speaker 1: How could I forget it?
Speaker 2: I may go there today. They're still open.
Speaker 1: Are you going to take apart the tortilla because apparently
Speaker 1: the insidees are the only No.
Speaker 2: No, I'll just tell them what I don't want in it.
Speaker 2: Uey Chiro's not anymore. No, I don't.
Speaker 1: I just don't understand. It's not like you're not doing anything.
Speaker 1: You eat cereal, which is basically a patie.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing, And you're not the only one that
Speaker 2: gives me crap. My wife makes fun of me too.
Speaker 2: I could you imagine if I did eat all of that,
Speaker 2: I'd seven and fifty pounds.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't, though I would, because I've cut it all out.
Speaker 1: You're not.
Speaker 2: Why does it bother you?
Speaker 1: Because there's no willpower? And there is hell, there's.
Speaker 2: So much willpower i'd have been a birthday cake in
Speaker 2: three years.
Speaker 1: I get fruit now, Scott, one piece of cake. Unless
Speaker 1: you're someone who like can't stop them.
Speaker 2: I eat one piece, I will continue. It's just like
Speaker 2: a smoker or a drinker or someone that's on or
Speaker 2: off the wagon or whatever that wagon is. If I
Speaker 2: have one piece or one thing, I'm gonna eat it
Speaker 2: again and again. I don't want to. Why is that bad?
Speaker 2: Why do you get so angry?
Speaker 1: It's just the way that you're eating it. You're still
Speaker 1: eating it. It's like eating. It's like saying, oh, I
Speaker 1: don't smoke, but you jewel. It's like you're still vape.
Speaker 2: No, that's completely different. There's nicotine in both of them,
Speaker 2: and it's still going in your lungs.
Speaker 1: You're still eating chocolate frosting.
Speaker 2: Please move on. This is just an argument. It's an
Speaker 2: argument that nobody's gonna win. So can we just move on.
Speaker 2: I was your day and you didn't win. I won,
Speaker 2: you didn't, Scott. Okay, when people hear this back, it's
Speaker 2: going to be team me. There's gonna be other people
Speaker 2: that say, hey, I'm with Scott. I get it. I
Speaker 2: totally get I.
Speaker 1: Eat donuts with gloves. I'm with Scott.
Speaker 2: No, but I understand that he doesn't want to eat
Speaker 2: the fatty lardy pastry part. I get it. It's fine, Andrew.
Speaker 2: What else is going on in your life?
Speaker 1: I mean, my birthday is next week?
Speaker 2: Hey hey? Hey?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Where shows that from? Uh?
Speaker 1: Fat Albert? Hey?
Speaker 2: Yes? But no, the hey hey hey that I did
Speaker 2: is actually Duwayne from What's Happening? Hey hey hey, is
Speaker 2: fat Albert? They did the haze differently.
Speaker 1: Oh that's cool.
Speaker 2: I was speaking of fat Albert and heart attacks? Do
Speaker 2: you know that this is an interesting story? I'm full
Speaker 2: of them, you know. Yeah. When I was in fourth grade,
Speaker 2: I was. I was a huge fan of fat Albert.
Speaker 2: I don't know why, but I was. That was my thing.
Speaker 2: But when I was in fourth grade, I didn't want
Speaker 2: to go to school so badly that I faked an
Speaker 2: illness and I pretended to vomit and I pretended that
Speaker 2: I had something wrong with my stomach. And I stayed
Speaker 2: home from school for a couple of days. And then
Speaker 2: every time like the bus would come, I would go yeah,
Speaker 2: and I would pour water in the toilet. And it
Speaker 2: is such a convincing sound of me vomiting that I
Speaker 2: would stay home from school again and it would just
Speaker 2: keep happening, and my mom would there's something wrong with you.
Speaker 2: We need to have you checked out. And I was
Speaker 2: admitted to the hospital for a week. And of course
Speaker 2: I didn't fake throw up in the hospital. I just
Speaker 2: was eating the food and watching TV and loving life.
Speaker 2: And the fat Albert thing comes in is because my
Speaker 2: fourth grade class all sent me letters with pictures of
Speaker 2: fat Albert because I liked it, and I still have them.
Speaker 2: I still have them. But then on the very last
Speaker 2: day that I was being discharged from the hospital, I
Speaker 2: pretended to vomit and then they were like, okay, get out.
Speaker 1: So yeah, So to bring this full circle, huh, you
Speaker 1: are the same person that's also eating donuts now with
Speaker 1: a glove.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we could have predicted this when I was
Speaker 2: in fourth grade.
Speaker 1: One hundred percent the hypochondriac and you slash whatever goes
Speaker 1: on with you. Yeah, I am actually and I don't
Speaker 1: know if I've mentioned this. I am terrified of throw up.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: I can actually remember every time I've ever vomited in
Speaker 1: my entire life.
Speaker 2: You do have it written down, don't you.
Speaker 1: I don't know all in really, the old ticker see
Speaker 1: to me, the last time I threw up was October tenth,
Speaker 1: two thousand and nineteen.
Speaker 2: Where were you? What were you doing?
Speaker 1: I drank too much. It was the only time I've
Speaker 1: ever vomited from drinking too much.
Speaker 2: The only time I ever vomited from drinking too much
Speaker 2: was at Webster Hall in New York City. We were
Speaker 2: at a Z one hundred appearance and I ran down
Speaker 2: the steps. I don't know if you are familiar with it,
Speaker 2: to me too. At the very bottom of the steps
Speaker 2: was the bathroom and there's a velvet couch with a
Speaker 2: payphone where they used to be. I mean, this is
Speaker 2: twenty years ago. And I ran down and I didn't
Speaker 2: make it, and I vomited all over the couch, all
Speaker 2: over it. And I just sat there with my legs
Speaker 2: cross because I felt like an idiot. Some girl came
Speaker 2: up and I was like, hey baby, you know, and
Speaker 2: there was corn all over my face.
Speaker 1: Shut up. That is disgusting.
Speaker 2: I swear it was the worst night of my life.
Speaker 1: That is not the visual we need to give people
Speaker 1: on this podcast.
Speaker 2: No, but it's funny because I think it's funny to
Speaker 2: watch people vomit.
Speaker 1: God, No, more.
Speaker 2: Like on TV or in cartoon, like every time in
Speaker 2: Family Guy when Uh Peter vomits or Stewie whoever vomits
Speaker 2: like NonStop hilarious. And I and at the old radio station,
Speaker 2: I would follow some guy around with the camera. He
Speaker 2: would throw up and I would laugh, Oh God. As
Speaker 2: soon as the smell hit me, it was all over.
Speaker 2: But I think it's funny to watch vomitses, not to
Speaker 2: smell it.
Speaker 1: I have an intense phobia of the pre part. Like
Speaker 1: to me, I yeah, see that. To me, I don't
Speaker 1: think you understand. In grade school, like I was like
Speaker 1: a hawk and I stopped like I would look around
Speaker 1: class after lunch and be like, who is it today?
Speaker 1: Whoa Who's gonna do it today?
Speaker 2: Vomited in school every day.
Speaker 1: In my head, I was always so terrified that people
Speaker 1: were going to get sick, and so I would watch
Speaker 1: them and be like, from school lunch, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: is this gonna yes? Always from school I.
Speaker 2: Was all about it. I ate. I am such an
Speaker 2: industrial food guy. It's funny because I'm the opposite of
Speaker 2: every other kid in school. The only meal I did
Speaker 2: not like was pizza. So on Fridays I brought food
Speaker 2: from home.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you were the person.
Speaker 2: And ate the boiled hot I ate everything, the meat loaf,
Speaker 2: the chicken that they had, this chicken patty that I
Speaker 2: don't even know what it was, chip delicious, thuff, yeah,
Speaker 2: sloppy Joe's. I ate everything, and I loved it. I
Speaker 2: didn't love the hamburgers, but everything else I ate. Turkey
Speaker 2: on I got turkey was like a feast.
Speaker 1: It's like a smell. I feel like all great school
Speaker 1: cafeterias smell the same. It doesn't matter where you are
Speaker 1: in the continental United States, if you walk into a
Speaker 1: school cafeteria, it will always smell the same.
Speaker 2: Do you remember safety Pup?
Speaker 1: I do not remember sety pup.
Speaker 2: Safety Pup was on the side of the little milk
Speaker 2: cartons that you would get for a quarter in the cafeteria. Yeah.
Speaker 2: He would always have a little uh you know, hey,
Speaker 2: kids just say no. It was always like some kind
Speaker 2: of you know, eighties thing. Drug.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're gonna stop everyone from doing drugs with safety pup.
Speaker 2: And dare Yeah. Keep talking. I'm gonna look up safety
Speaker 2: Pup because I'm a bet you it's a thing.
Speaker 1: The chocolate milk they always had two tasted the same,
Speaker 1: the every milk. I feel like it's the same in schools,
Speaker 1: the plays.
Speaker 2: Not anymore. Now there's lactose free and free and everything free,
Speaker 2: you know, for the people that can't eat vegans and
Speaker 2: all this stuff.
Speaker 1: There's vegan kids.
Speaker 2: Yeah please really?
Speaker 1: Uh huh are any of your daughter's friends vegan? Oh?
Speaker 1: Hold on one second?
Speaker 2: Oh here we go both on phones. Oh wait, wait?
Speaker 2: What do we do talk? What am I supposed to do?
Speaker 2: I don't know what to do? All right? So here's
Speaker 2: Oh this is you know what I'm looking up, Safety Pup.
Speaker 2: It doesn't I don't think that this is him. It
Speaker 2: could be it's his, for it's from the eighties, you know,
Speaker 2: I think this is him. Do you remember this guy,
Speaker 2: Safety Pup? He was on the side of the milk cartons.
Speaker 2: I wish I could find a milk carton. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: there it is. How funny. See I knew, I knew
Speaker 2: what I was talking about. Safety Pup says, never take
Speaker 2: short cuts on the way home. See, and then milk
Speaker 2: was a quarter. But I guess I'm dating myself because
Speaker 2: I think it's a dollar now. But actually, now during
Speaker 2: COVID they are giving kids free lunches in my district anyway.
Speaker 2: I don't if it's a state wide thing or a
Speaker 2: federal thing or whatever it is. But I order lunch
Speaker 2: for Cooper in school every day. Ashley, a little bit older,
Speaker 2: not into lunch in the cafeteria. She always brings stuff
Speaker 2: from home. All right, So we were just talking about
Speaker 2: safety pop Andrew.
Speaker 1: Sorry, I had a work call. Uh huh with Elvis.
Speaker 2: So did we do enough? Or you want to go?
Speaker 1: This is what ten minutes?
Speaker 2: I don't know, twelve?
Speaker 1: Oh? What? See? I feel like natural conversation. This is
Speaker 1: how we actually talk to each other when it was
Speaker 1: pre pandemic.
Speaker 2: No, we don't. We always yelled at each other.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean we still yell at each other. I
Speaker 1: mean I made fun of you for the first five
Speaker 1: minutes of this podcast, just like I would pre pandemic
Speaker 1: sitting watch you eat a donut, and you would have
Speaker 1: used a glove to eat a donut pre pandemic as well.
Speaker 2: That's not true, but only because there were no gloves
Speaker 2: readily available. Now they're everywhere, and I know, if.
Speaker 1: Anything, it supports your weird thing.
Speaker 2: I don't like to get my hands dirty, and now
Speaker 2: I don't have to go wash my hands again.
Speaker 1: In your defense, I have a weird phobia of I
Speaker 1: don't like that, I don't like condiments like mustard or.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's just end it. Okay, say Clink Andrew Clink.