WEBVTT - Love Stories: Trista & Ryan Sutter 0:00:01.840 --> 0:00:05.040 Hey, there're folks in this episode. The greatest success story 0:00:05.080 --> 0:00:09.080 in Bachelor Nation history and possibly the history of reality 0:00:09.240 --> 0:00:13.680 dating show, Trista and Ryan Sudden. They're here to help us, 0:00:13.720 --> 0:00:17.079 help you, and with that, welcome to this special edition 0:00:17.360 --> 0:00:19.959 of Amy and TJ, where we are going to highlight 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:23.880 love stories for you and Rodes. We've talked a lot 0:00:23.920 --> 0:00:27.760 about this being break up season, the uncuffing season, and 0:00:27.760 --> 0:00:29.280 well that's just depressing. 0:00:29.040 --> 0:00:31.920 It is because it's also it could also be the 0:00:31.960 --> 0:00:34.600 season of love. Yes, I know that it seemed like 0:00:34.640 --> 0:00:37.760 everybody was breaking up in recent months, and that is true. 0:00:38.240 --> 0:00:42.480 We had what Megan Fox, Machine Gun, Kelly on again, 0:00:42.560 --> 0:00:46.400 off again, so we Kravitz and Channing Tatum. How could 0:00:46.440 --> 0:00:49.519 we forget Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez finalizing their divorce 0:00:49.560 --> 0:00:52.280 that you thought was never going to happen, still holding 0:00:52.320 --> 0:00:53.840 out hope for a reconciliation. 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:56.640 I am I'm not joking. I really am hoping that 0:00:56.720 --> 0:00:57.880 Ben and Jane get back together. 0:00:58.000 --> 0:01:00.760 I know that would make your twenty twenty Oh my gosh. 0:01:01.080 --> 0:01:04.320 And Matt James and Rachel Kirconnell. Well I'm voting on 0:01:04.360 --> 0:01:07.440 that one too as well. I am hoping for a reconciliation. 0:01:07.560 --> 0:01:09.040 I just am they got to need a beat. 0:01:09.319 --> 0:01:10.880 Yeah, it's gonna take a little while. 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:15.960 Jessica Alba Cash Warren after sixteen years together. Jessica Simpson 0:01:16.000 --> 0:01:18.559 and her husband of ten years, Eric Johnson. 0:01:18.760 --> 0:01:20.839 They were together forever before that as well. 0:01:21.160 --> 0:01:23.560 So we're seeing all of that, and we did. We 0:01:23.600 --> 0:01:26.880 actually did another episode on a different a different podcast 0:01:27.280 --> 0:01:29.720 that was called Uncuffing Season. We were asking, like, what 0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:32.119 in the world is going on? I guess it makes 0:01:32.160 --> 0:01:34.560 a lot of sense when you stop and think about it. 0:01:34.560 --> 0:01:36.600 Why this is Uncuffing Season? 0:01:36.600 --> 0:01:36.920 What is it? 0:01:36.959 --> 0:01:41.240 December eleventh was the day that's the official breakup day, 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:43.680 well unofficial, I should say, but people pointed to that 0:01:43.760 --> 0:01:46.800 as a breakup day because that's when somebody did whatever 0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:50.200 study that said that that's the day that people most 0:01:50.320 --> 0:01:54.520 change their Facebook status right from in a relationship. 0:01:54.000 --> 0:01:55.880 To single because they don't want to bring that other 0:01:55.920 --> 0:01:58.040 person or deal with them during the holidays. 0:01:58.040 --> 0:01:59.000 It's enough already. 0:01:59.160 --> 0:02:01.520 That makes sense to get out of having to deal 0:02:01.560 --> 0:02:04.520 with family. That sounds silly, but it makes. 0:02:04.400 --> 0:02:06.680 Sense, I agree, or other people's family. 0:02:06.720 --> 0:02:08.400 That way, you don't have to include the in laws 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:10.560 or the potential in laws in your plans and. 0:02:10.520 --> 0:02:14.240 Then you have gift stress. They say that you don't 0:02:14.280 --> 0:02:16.560 want to have to buy gifts for your person you're with. 0:02:16.680 --> 0:02:20.240 And everybody is in a turning a new leaf mood. 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:22.280 You're in a mood to make a bold move in 0:02:22.320 --> 0:02:23.280 your life and. 0:02:23.240 --> 0:02:24.519 Out with the old, in with the news. 0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:26.080 And I want to go through all this. I just 0:02:26.120 --> 0:02:27.960 went through a whole year with this bozo. 0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:28.840 Don't want another year. 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:32.320 So it makes sense why this would be the season 0:02:32.360 --> 0:02:34.480 people would break up. But it also makes sense there's 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:37.239 a season roads that people are getting together. It's a 0:02:37.320 --> 0:02:38.840 very popular season for getting together. 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:42.120 Oh, I mean just for body warmth, Alan, I'll take it. 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:44.000 I mean it's cold out there, right, you. 0:02:44.520 --> 0:02:47.320 Want to couple up, snuggle up? I get it. And 0:02:47.480 --> 0:02:50.520 Dating Sunday, by the way, is the thing. It's the 0:02:50.560 --> 0:02:52.440 biggest dating app day of the year. 0:02:52.480 --> 0:02:55.000 It happens right after New Year's It's the day the 0:02:55.080 --> 0:02:57.560 dating websites and the app see the most activity in 0:02:57.560 --> 0:02:59.880 sign ups because people are looking for love. 0:03:00.320 --> 0:03:00.519 Yeah. 0:03:00.600 --> 0:03:02.600 So, I mean I feel bad we focus so much 0:03:02.600 --> 0:03:04.399 on people breaking up. But yes, this is the time 0:03:04.440 --> 0:03:06.560 that I think most people, even if you went through 0:03:06.600 --> 0:03:09.240 a breakup or a difficult time. There is a season 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:13.200 of hope and renewal and newness, and that's scary. I 0:03:13.240 --> 0:03:16.160 mean it sounds fun and exciting that most of the 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:18.600 time we talk to people about dating and relationships, we're 0:03:18.600 --> 0:03:20.120 single and it's not positive. 0:03:20.560 --> 0:03:24.120 No, And we love watching We've talked about this before, 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:28.280 but we are obsessed with relationship shows because you get 0:03:28.280 --> 0:03:32.320 to see where people make mistakes, where people their egos 0:03:32.360 --> 0:03:35.320 get in the way of what could have been otherwise 0:03:35.760 --> 0:03:37.200 a beautiful relationship. 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:38.720 And so we're all looking for help. 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:42.080 I'm taking notes, I'm looking at what not to do, 0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:45.880 relationship advice. I'll take anything i can get because we 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:49.240 all want the end goal of finding our soulmate, finding 0:03:49.280 --> 0:03:50.080 the love of our life. 0:03:50.160 --> 0:03:52.160 And we're not joking there as we are recording this, 0:03:52.200 --> 0:03:54.320 we kid you not. The te television right now is 0:03:54.360 --> 0:03:57.040 on pause and we're looking at Pastor cal We're looking 0:03:57.040 --> 0:04:01.680 at We're not joking, really looking at his face, greeting 0:04:01.760 --> 0:04:05.760 one of the people who just got married. So of 0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:09.840 marriage proposals actually take place. We talk about uncuffing season, 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:12.560 but this is a season of love. Between Thanksgiving and 0:04:13.000 --> 0:04:16.760 Valentine Valentine's Day, forty percent of marriage proposals do take place, 0:04:16.800 --> 0:04:18.839 So a lot of people are going through that right now. 0:04:18.920 --> 0:04:21.159 So no matter what stage of your relationship you're in, 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:24.159 even if you're completely single, you're dating after a couple 0:04:24.200 --> 0:04:27.040 of months, you're newly wet, whatever, everybody is looking for 0:04:27.080 --> 0:04:30.320 some type of advice we could all use a little 0:04:30.320 --> 0:04:33.440 So we thought grows we give folks a little help, 0:04:33.520 --> 0:04:37.120 some advice, not from us, but from a variety of couples. 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:40.159 A number of questions that we ask the same list 0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:42.440 of relate We ask them all the exact same list 0:04:42.480 --> 0:04:42.840 of questions. 0:04:42.960 --> 0:04:45.640 Yeah, so in this month of February, which I think 0:04:45.839 --> 0:04:50.080 is a month of love, we are going to give 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:54.440 you all a couple a day. So we've asked couples 0:04:54.680 --> 0:04:58.360 up leading up until Valentine's Day all the same list 0:04:58.520 --> 0:05:03.000 of relationship questions. Questions like who said I love you first? 0:05:03.960 --> 0:05:06.840 Did your relationship have the support of family and friends? 0:05:07.440 --> 0:05:10.599 How often do you have sex? How often do you fight? 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:13.039 Do you go to bed angry? 0:05:13.080 --> 0:05:17.120 You know, we always hear relationship experts say, whatever you do, 0:05:17.120 --> 0:05:18.479 don't go to bed angry. 0:05:18.200 --> 0:05:20.880 But we asked couples if they have done that. We 0:05:20.960 --> 0:05:23.400 even asked them have they threatened to break up during 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:23.960 an argument. 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:30.880 Have you not with you? Don't make idle threats. Don't 0:05:30.920 --> 0:05:34.039 make idle threats. So we asked all these questions, but 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:36.240 twenty to thirty questions we got in with them. But 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:39.120 it was a diverse bunch that we have here. We 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:42.279 talked to an interracial couple has a thirty year age 0:05:42.880 --> 0:05:45.640 gap between the two. We got a couple of celebrating 0:05:45.760 --> 0:05:47.960 was eleven years of marriage, but she was married when 0:05:47.960 --> 0:05:49.840 they first met. Curious to hear about that. We got 0:05:49.839 --> 0:05:53.640 an actress and country singer married to her pro soccer habi. 0:05:53.800 --> 0:05:56.479 Then we got a mixed orientation couple you're gonna hear from. 0:05:56.480 --> 0:05:57.840 This is going to be one that's going to get 0:05:57.920 --> 0:06:00.440 you buzzing and talking. When we say mixed or orientation, 0:06:00.880 --> 0:06:01.520 what do we mean. 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:06.000 So it's a gay man who has married a straight 0:06:06.080 --> 0:06:11.479 woman and they are in a sexual a monogamous relationship. 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:14.440 And it is fascinating to see how love takes so 0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:18.080 many different forms, and actually so many of the couples 0:06:18.120 --> 0:06:21.240 we interviewed DJ just so happened, did not plan this 0:06:21.400 --> 0:06:24.400 that way where the woman is older than the man. 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:27.640 And these are all successful, not just. 0:06:27.560 --> 0:06:29.680 Based on how many years they've been together, but just 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:32.400 happy couples, and that's what we were focused on. We 0:06:32.480 --> 0:06:36.200 wanted to interview happy couples, joyful couples. 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:38.360 And so we're going to drop a new episode, like 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:41.640 Rope says, every day leading up to Valentine's Day. Valentine's 0:06:41.680 --> 0:06:44.760 Day Up, First, we have Trista and Ryan Sutter. Trista, 0:06:44.760 --> 0:06:48.880 of course, is the OG of dating reality show. She 0:06:48.960 --> 0:06:50.840 was the first ever bachelorette that was back in two 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:53.320 thousand and three, and she is she and Ryan. I 0:06:53.320 --> 0:06:56.200 guess Robes, I don't think you could find a bigger 0:06:56.240 --> 0:06:58.600 success story when it comes to reality dating shows than 0:06:58.640 --> 0:06:59.920 those two, and certainly not back. 0:07:00.480 --> 0:07:04.200 Yeah, and you know, I watched this season of Trista 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:07.840 and Ryan from start to finish, so I have been invested, 0:07:07.880 --> 0:07:10.560 as so many of you are, in their relationship and 0:07:10.600 --> 0:07:13.360 we are so happy to report. Look, they have been 0:07:13.360 --> 0:07:15.640 through the ups and downs. They've been in the ups 0:07:15.640 --> 0:07:18.280 and downs in a very public way, but they haven't 0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:23.200 talked that much about the details in their relationship. So 0:07:23.560 --> 0:07:26.680 without further ado, we're so excited to bring you Trista 0:07:27.040 --> 0:07:27.560 and Ryan. 0:07:28.320 --> 0:07:30.120 Welcome. How are y'all doing good? 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:32.760 Thank you we're good. How are you, guys? 0:07:33.080 --> 0:07:35.520 We're doing great and we're so happy to hear from 0:07:35.560 --> 0:07:37.560 you and to see you all. I mean, you are 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:41.600 one of the big success stories from the Bachelor franchise. 0:07:41.760 --> 0:07:44.800 It doesn't mean that your marriage or your relationship is perfect, 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:47.840 but you're still here and that's something to applied. 0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:48.240 Right. 0:07:50.600 --> 0:07:54.440 Yes, we're good, we're happy. You know, we just celebrated 0:07:54.480 --> 0:07:58.280 twenty one years and who would have thought through a 0:07:58.320 --> 0:07:59.400 reality show. You know. 0:08:00.480 --> 0:08:03.160 Well, we've all been rooting for you from afar and 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:05.920 we want to know a little bit more about your relationship. 0:08:06.000 --> 0:08:08.080 So I'll launch into the first one. You guys, hopefully 0:08:08.120 --> 0:08:11.600 can each answer this. Give us three words to describe 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:13.280 your relationship right now. 0:08:13.480 --> 0:08:27.160 Trista ooh, oh my gosh. Solid. I would say scheduled, 0:08:30.360 --> 0:08:36.920 just because we're really busy and lasting. 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:38.280 I like that. 0:08:38.320 --> 0:08:39.320 All right, Ryan, how about you? 0:08:40.200 --> 0:08:41.600 I'm going with best it's been. 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:51.439 Ah No, that's done. That's well done. Next question though, 0:08:51.440 --> 0:08:53.920 and some people might remember this. I was trying to 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:57.920 remember the season. But was their immediate chemistry when you 0:08:57.960 --> 0:08:58.440 first met? 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:04.560 Oh yeah, I would say for me, there definitely was. 0:09:05.880 --> 0:09:09.520 I think for Trista it was different because she obviously 0:09:09.559 --> 0:09:13.720 couldn't just throw herself at one person. She could have, 0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:16.000 but she didn't. 0:09:18.440 --> 0:09:20.360 She was playing by the rules. She was playing by 0:09:20.360 --> 0:09:20.680 the rule. 0:09:20.800 --> 0:09:23.960 Yeah, I think so right away. I think, you know, 0:09:24.040 --> 0:09:26.800 right as I first got out of the limousine and 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:30.920 saw her and spoke with her briefly, I think from 0:09:30.960 --> 0:09:35.080 that very instant I knew that there was something there, 0:09:35.120 --> 0:09:37.440 or could potentially be something there. So yeah, I think 0:09:37.640 --> 0:09:41.240 I think it was pretty immediate with me anyway, me. 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:45.000 Too, Yeah, I mean, he's a good looking, tall drink 0:09:45.040 --> 0:09:49.920 of water, and he got out of the limo and 0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:52.560 didn't even say his name. He was I was like, 0:09:52.679 --> 0:09:58.120 what's your name again, and called me ravishing, So you know, 0:09:58.400 --> 0:10:05.920 when a guy calls you ravishing, your first moments. 0:10:03.600 --> 0:10:06.920 It's done. I don't think I've ever used the term 0:10:07.160 --> 0:10:10.200 prior to or since, I don't know where it came from. 0:10:10.240 --> 0:10:13.600 But yeah, that is very cool. All right. 0:10:13.960 --> 0:10:16.400 It's a little interesting because, of course, you guys recording 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:20.319 on television while Trista was also dating I. 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:21.600 Don't even know how many other men. 0:10:21.679 --> 0:10:24.760 But I'll still ask our next question, who made the 0:10:24.760 --> 0:10:25.280 first move? 0:10:27.160 --> 0:10:34.000 Uh? I would say it was me because I had 0:10:34.040 --> 0:10:37.520 written Trista a poem prior to even going on the show, 0:10:37.559 --> 0:10:42.800 because you know that you're going to be competition. Seems 0:10:42.800 --> 0:10:45.960 like the wrong word, but it's competition, And so you 0:10:46.080 --> 0:10:49.000 wanted to do something to stand out. And so I 0:10:49.040 --> 0:10:51.319 had written her a quick poem based on a little 0:10:51.320 --> 0:10:55.560 bit of information I knew about her through the news basically, 0:10:55.800 --> 0:11:00.280 so and I gave her that poem on the first night, 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:02.640 just so that she would be able there would be 0:11:02.679 --> 0:11:04.880 something that might make me stand out a little bit, 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:06.720 so that I can at least get on make it 0:11:06.720 --> 0:11:07.600 through the first night. 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:11.959 Twest to that sound about right? That was the first move. 0:11:12.600 --> 0:11:14.280 Yeah, And then and. 0:11:14.240 --> 0:11:19.240 Then he wrote me another poem when we went on 0:11:19.240 --> 0:11:26.480 our one on one to see world And and then 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:29.640 he wrote me like little notes like under the table 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:32.360 kind of you know that I could read while the 0:11:32.400 --> 0:11:38.960 cameras weren't filming, and like those just little moments really 0:11:39.040 --> 0:11:40.520 like stood out to me. 0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:43.240 Next question, I don't know if this took place on 0:11:43.280 --> 0:11:44.760 the show. Who said I love you first? 0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:47.559 Well me for. 0:11:47.520 --> 0:11:52.000 Sure, Oh, he definitely did. In Actually in the little 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:55.280 letter that he wrote me, he handed me a note 0:11:55.840 --> 0:11:58.120 when we were just getting back from our one on one, 0:11:58.400 --> 0:12:02.040 right or just leaving for our one on one and no, 0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:05.360 it was in Veil. It was in Veil on his 0:12:05.679 --> 0:12:10.360 like hometown. And he handed me a note in the 0:12:10.400 --> 0:12:13.120 car and I read it and he had told me 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:14.199 that he left me in. 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:17.640 The letter and she did not see it. 0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:21.480 She said thank you, thank you so much. 0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:24.440 So she did not say it back. 0:12:25.440 --> 0:12:27.480 You know, how long Ryan before you got the I 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:28.080 love you too? 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:34.280 Not till the very end, and she was pretty adamant. 0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:36.920 I guess based on her prior experience on the other show. 0:12:36.960 --> 0:12:40.679 She had lots of excuses, but she was pretty adamant 0:12:40.720 --> 0:12:45.000 about not telling me until the very end, despite the 0:12:45.040 --> 0:12:48.040 fact that I would. We had moments where there was 0:12:48.400 --> 0:12:51.160 no one else around and I would be like, you know, hey, 0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:52.600 there's no one else around. 0:12:52.320 --> 0:12:53.560 Like you could just you can tell me. 0:12:53.720 --> 0:12:56.280 I mean, you're not going to be spilling the beans. 0:12:56.320 --> 0:12:58.520 But she wouldn't do it, so I had to wait 0:12:58.600 --> 0:12:59.959 till the till the last moment. 0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:02.320 Didn't you tell he's harboring something. 0:13:03.760 --> 0:13:06.040 He's still not over it. It's funny. 0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:09.240 Our next question is l for both of you all 0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:14.400 because I was. We asked how long before you got engaged? 0:13:14.440 --> 0:13:17.000 While you were dating? We saw it was on television, 0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:19.920 So you got engaged at the end of the Bachelorette. 0:13:20.080 --> 0:13:23.040 But how long were you engaged before you actually got married? 0:13:24.080 --> 0:13:24.440 A year? 0:13:26.400 --> 0:13:27.120 Not even a year? 0:13:27.360 --> 0:13:29.520 Well, no, we got engaged in November and then we 0:13:29.559 --> 0:13:30.800 got married in December. 0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:34.560 Oh true, we got engaged in real life in November, 0:13:34.600 --> 0:13:37.960 but this show didn't air until February. So as far 0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:40.640 as the world was concerned, we were engaged for Yeah, 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:43.319 however long that was. But but yeah, a little less 0:13:43.360 --> 0:13:45.559 than a year. I think we were officially engaged. 0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:48.600 No, a little more than a year, a little more 0:13:48.600 --> 0:13:50.520 than He's really good at math usually. 0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:56.199 But this is great. See, this is an experienced couple. 0:13:56.240 --> 0:13:58.160 They know each other well and it's coming through this 0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:00.600 next question. We could kind of on in some of 0:14:00.600 --> 0:14:03.679 the earlier answers you gave, but still, if your believers 0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:06.880 in there being a one out there for each of you, 0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:09.640 did you all know or how long did it take 0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:12.439 before you came around to the idea that you had 0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:14.440 found the one in each other? 0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:20.920 I mean, I when we went to Seattle on our 0:14:21.040 --> 0:14:27.400 like fantasy suite weekend or you know date, That's when 0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:31.080 I knew that I was thinking, I was thinking more 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:34.960 about him than I was the other guys during the 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:37.720 whole fantasy suite thing, like, even with the other guys, 0:14:37.760 --> 0:14:42.080 I was thinking about him. So and yes, I said, 0:14:42.120 --> 0:14:45.640 we went to Seattle for our fantasy, not to Bora, 0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:47.880 Bora or Australia or. 0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:50.080 Seattle. 0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:58.760 Anyway, that's when I thought, and that was probably a 0:14:58.880 --> 0:15:03.600 month in. But I think if you're the lead of 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:07.520 the show, you have to believe unless you have other intentions. 0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:11.400 But if you're there for the right reasons, then you 0:15:11.560 --> 0:15:15.480 have to believe that there is the one out there. 0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:17.840 You know, that's why you're That's why you're doing it, 0:15:17.840 --> 0:15:18.880 That's why I was doing it. 0:15:19.520 --> 0:15:20.280 How about you, Ryan? 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:24.200 I think there's two phases, Like I thought that she 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:27.280 was the one during the show, but do you you 0:15:27.360 --> 0:15:30.680 come to realize that the show is is such a 0:15:30.720 --> 0:15:35.400 microcosm and you're so focused on each other that it's 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:39.040 hard not to think that you're almost driven in that direction. 0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:43.080 And then the show ends and we had to be 0:15:43.120 --> 0:15:45.720 separated for somewhere around three months. You'll have to ask 0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:49.040 her exactly how long. I don't know, apparently can't keep 0:15:49.120 --> 0:15:54.560 back of time. But there's there's this separation that you 0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:59.360 have like real life comes back into play. She's the 0:15:59.400 --> 0:16:02.240 bachelorette and so everyone she's doing all sorts of fun things, 0:16:02.320 --> 0:16:05.280 going to Super Bowl parties, and I'm back at work 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:08.920 at the firehouse. Like so at that point, all we 0:16:08.960 --> 0:16:10.240 could do is talk on the phone and have a 0:16:10.280 --> 0:16:12.560 few little meetings. And I think at that point is 0:16:12.600 --> 0:16:17.560 when I really realized, Okay, she's despite she's the fact 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:20.600 that she's become really famous and doing all these really 0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:23.440 fun things and getting to hang out with like Bradley 0:16:23.480 --> 0:16:26.360 Cooper and all sorts of people who I would I 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:30.440 would easily leave me for, and she's not. So I 0:16:30.480 --> 0:16:32.760 think at that point I thought, you know, because you're 0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:35.240 for so long you're competing for her heart, but you 0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:38.920 don't ever feel like she's has to do anything to 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:42.280 compete for you, Like she's just sort of taking in 0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:46.640 and all of these different proposals from all these different 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:49.200 people and choosing one at the end, and then you're 0:16:49.280 --> 0:16:52.080 left with this like, well, I wonder, you know, like 0:16:52.920 --> 0:16:55.880 if she really like she didn't have to sell herself 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:58.280 to me, really, I just had to sell myself to her. 0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:03.400 And then through that process of her and how she 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:06.760 dealt with the ramifications of the show, and then when 0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:09.640 we were able to get together, how well she protected 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:11.359 I'm not good at this type of stuff, and so 0:17:11.400 --> 0:17:14.600 she did a great job of protecting me from it, 0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:18.760 shielded me from a lot of the things that I 0:17:18.800 --> 0:17:20.800 didn't want to have to deal to deal with, or 0:17:20.800 --> 0:17:22.280 a lot of the places I didn't want to have 0:17:22.320 --> 0:17:26.439 to go. And so I just she it became obvious 0:17:26.480 --> 0:17:29.399 that she was really on my side, and that she 0:17:29.680 --> 0:17:34.560 chose me, she chose me for a reason, and that 0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:36.760 she didn't really have to sell herself to me at 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:38.680 that point. And so this is a really long winded 0:17:38.680 --> 0:17:43.120 answer to your question, but I think that's that's kind 0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:45.640 of when I knew is is when real life came 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:46.840 in and she was still there. 0:17:49.200 --> 0:17:49.840 I love that. 0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:50.560 Now. 0:17:50.680 --> 0:17:52.840 Is there an age difference between the two of you. 0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:55.119 And she's way older? 0:17:56.800 --> 0:18:00.320 How much I'm not way older? Two years? 0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:01.480 Okay? Two years? 0:18:01.560 --> 0:18:04.440 What did that have any impact at all on your relationship? 0:18:04.440 --> 0:18:06.720 Do you think did it make you think any differently 0:18:06.760 --> 0:18:09.160 about being two years older than your guy? 0:18:10.520 --> 0:18:12.320 No, he's mature enough. 0:18:15.000 --> 0:18:17.760 Okay, we knew you weren't way older when he made 0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:19.399 a joke about you being way older. 0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:24.880 You can make that joke, because he likes to make 0:18:24.960 --> 0:18:30.119 jokes all the time. Like, she's fine, four and a half, 0:18:30.400 --> 0:18:31.760 four and a half exactly. 0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:34.600 She was in college. I was still in junior high school. 0:18:34.600 --> 0:18:36.680 It's just the truth of the matter is what he does. 0:18:36.720 --> 0:18:41.400 It's fine. This is about justin Ryan. Next question here now, 0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:43.720 of course, just so, you went on the show because 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:45.720 you wanted to get married, and Ryan, you were on 0:18:45.760 --> 0:18:47.520 the show because you were looking for a relationship and 0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:50.480 to get married. But why that step? And I guess 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:53.240 I'm asking is different difficult because of how you all met, 0:18:53.280 --> 0:18:56.239 But how would your relationship be different if you had 0:18:56.280 --> 0:18:59.439 gotten together and been dating but not taking that extra 0:18:59.520 --> 0:19:03.560 step of getting married. Why it was marriage so important? 0:19:04.160 --> 0:19:06.720 I mean, I think that it's just your way to 0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:11.159 show your commitment. You know, in my mind, I'm pretty 0:19:11.200 --> 0:19:15.919 traditional when it comes to that kind of stuff, and 0:19:16.040 --> 0:19:18.720 that's how I always That's what I grew up thinking. 0:19:18.920 --> 0:19:22.520 You know, I wanted to find a man, get engaged, 0:19:22.520 --> 0:19:25.320 get married, have babies, you know, probably in that order, 0:19:26.280 --> 0:19:30.320 and that's what happened, thankfully. But yeah, I feel like 0:19:30.359 --> 0:19:34.119 it's just a way to tell the world that you 0:19:34.359 --> 0:19:37.679 are committing to each other for forever. 0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:43.760 Yeah, And I mean I think Trista was thirty on 0:19:43.800 --> 0:19:46.119 the show. I was twenty eight on the show. And 0:19:46.200 --> 0:19:50.159 so you're at that point where you're both of us 0:19:50.200 --> 0:19:52.359 had lived quite a bit of life, and we sort 0:19:52.359 --> 0:19:54.679 of had been through relationships and we knew what we 0:19:54.680 --> 0:19:57.760 were looking for and what we weren't. Again, the show 0:19:57.920 --> 0:20:01.679 like really condenses things, so really you get swept up 0:20:01.720 --> 0:20:05.320 in it. I think normally you wouldn't ask someone to 0:20:05.359 --> 0:20:07.640 marry you after six weeks or whatever it was and 0:20:08.280 --> 0:20:12.920 a handful of dates, but but it really is this 0:20:13.040 --> 0:20:16.280 intense time and all you're focused on is that one person, 0:20:16.320 --> 0:20:20.199 so you just you get sort of, I don't know, 0:20:20.240 --> 0:20:24.400 brainwashed a little bit. And then once we got engaged, 0:20:24.480 --> 0:20:26.880 I mean, obviously you can lots of people call that off, 0:20:26.960 --> 0:20:29.400 but like I said, after that point, when we really 0:20:29.400 --> 0:20:32.320 got to know each other, it became clear to both 0:20:32.359 --> 0:20:35.360 of us that we didn't want to waste any time 0:20:35.400 --> 0:20:40.480 with it. We may as well just get officially married 0:20:40.480 --> 0:20:43.240 and move on as quickly as possible. 0:20:43.600 --> 0:20:47.000 He actually has said that if they had had somebody 0:20:47.040 --> 0:20:50.480 there to marry us that day, like he would have 0:20:50.480 --> 0:20:55.840 gotten married when we got engaged instead, because he didn't 0:20:55.960 --> 0:21:00.919