WEBVTT - La Luz Del Mundo: Finding The Force Within 0:00:03.400 --> 0:00:05.760 Before we jump in, we must warn you this episode 0:00:05.800 --> 0:00:09.760 contains explicit content, such as sexual abuse that may be 0:00:09.880 --> 0:00:26.360 disturbing to some people. Listener discretion is advised. Elisa Flores 0:00:26.440 --> 0:00:30.320 inherited Lalus del Mundo from her parents, as from many others. 0:00:30.520 --> 0:00:35.360 The church was her backbone, her compass, her everything. When 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:38.080 she finally left, she had no idea how to live 0:00:38.200 --> 0:00:42.239 in a world without the cult. For Elisa, even the 0:00:42.280 --> 0:00:45.920 simplest things like choosing an outfit in the morning turned 0:00:45.960 --> 0:00:46.760 into a struggle. 0:00:48.240 --> 0:00:51.600 In the colts, you wore long skirts every day and 0:00:51.920 --> 0:00:55.680 my whole life that's basically all I wore. And I 0:00:55.720 --> 0:00:58.680 went to the grocery store for the first time wearing pants, 0:00:58.720 --> 0:01:01.040 and I was like so uncomfort I felt like everybody's 0:01:01.080 --> 0:01:01.480 watching me. 0:01:02.520 --> 0:01:05.360 The everyday experiences people like Elisa go through can be 0:01:05.440 --> 0:01:08.640 totally incomprehensible to those who have never been inside a 0:01:08.720 --> 0:01:13.120 high control group or cult, because the shackles these organizations 0:01:13.160 --> 0:01:15.840 impose on their members are invisible to the rest of 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:19.920 the world, turning the most mundane actions like what to wear, 0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:28.120 into life altering experiences charged with terrifying meanings. My interest 0:01:28.120 --> 0:01:31.120 in Le luzel Mundo is not only professional I was 0:01:31.200 --> 0:01:33.800 raised in Mexico in a high control Catholic group that 0:01:33.920 --> 0:01:37.120 required the surrender of all free thought and will at 0:01:37.160 --> 0:01:39.040 the service of a guy that liked to be called 0:01:39.080 --> 0:01:43.480 Mustro Pardi. Our father, and what a father. He was 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:48.120 a clean cut and strictly frocked priests that preached purity, devotion, 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:52.559 and sacrifice. He raped over seventy seminarians under his care 0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:56.560 were twelve or thirteen year olds. He was a painkiller addict, 0:01:57.040 --> 0:01:59.240 liked his cars to be Mercedes and his jets to 0:01:59.280 --> 0:02:02.360 be private, and kept at least two women who fathered 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:05.960 his own children, whom he also raped. His name was 0:02:06.000 --> 0:02:08.280 marcell Moziel, and there are many people I used to 0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:11.200 be close with who still consider him a holy man. 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:16.160 In places where Morsiel established his order, if you spoke 0:02:16.240 --> 0:02:19.960 of him or his organization in unflattering terms, or if 0:02:20.000 --> 0:02:23.000 you deviated from his approved norms and behaviors, you could 0:02:23.040 --> 0:02:26.560 get fired, ostracized, even end up going broke or losing 0:02:26.600 --> 0:02:30.400 your business. Defying Mosiel and his organization, as it is 0:02:30.440 --> 0:02:32.440 with any other call to leader with an army of 0:02:32.520 --> 0:02:36.520 zealots at its finger tips, was no joke. He had 0:02:36.560 --> 0:02:39.560 the backing of the country's politicians, media company owners, and 0:02:39.600 --> 0:02:43.000 millionaires whose wives adored him and entrusted him with their 0:02:43.080 --> 0:02:47.040 children to teach them true Christian values. He married after 0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:51.760 daughters and baptized their grandchildren. His photos adorned all their mantlepieces. 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:55.679 In their eyes, he could do no wrong. He was treasured. 0:02:56.080 --> 0:02:59.919 He had to be protected at all costs. So familiar, 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:05.520 I understand what Elisa felt after confronting the sick truth 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:08.320 about someone you and your whole universe looked up to 0:03:08.360 --> 0:03:11.640 as a saint throughout your life. When Alisa saw the 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:16.040 video evidence from Nason's trial, she couldn't ignore the truth anymore. 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:22.400 All of the things that I had seen and been through, 0:03:22.560 --> 0:03:25.440 they all started coming back to me. It's like I 0:03:25.480 --> 0:03:28.760 had blocked all of it and I excused it because 0:03:28.800 --> 0:03:33.320 he was my God and he didn't know wrong. I 0:03:33.320 --> 0:03:35.680 couldn't believe that he was, as an apostle of God 0:03:35.760 --> 0:03:37.800 still doing those things. 0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:42.400 The problem is, even though your own blinders may be falling, 0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:47.520 almost everyone around you, everyone you care for still sees 0:03:47.560 --> 0:03:50.760 this person as holy instead of the perverted, cheets and 0:03:50.800 --> 0:03:51.960 frauds that they are. 0:03:54.320 --> 0:03:59.200 I had like a little mini breakdown. My church was 0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:06.360 my life and my life was a lie. My whole life, 0:04:06.440 --> 0:04:10.680 my whole being, everything was a lie. 0:04:11.600 --> 0:04:14.640 But finding out everything you believed and strived for is 0:04:14.680 --> 0:04:17.400 a con is barely the first step in the arduous 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:21.080 process of untangling yourself from it. You can't stop to 0:04:21.120 --> 0:04:23.800 mourn or lead your wounds because maybe there's rent to pay, 0:04:24.120 --> 0:04:27.240 children to feed, or a job to keep. So you 0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:30.120 pick up the pieces and re engage with the free world, 0:04:30.440 --> 0:04:32.880 where you have to think and decide on your own, 0:04:33.240 --> 0:04:37.159 with no manuals, no priests, no gurus or elders round 0:04:37.240 --> 0:04:39.080 to tell you what's true and what's false. 0:04:40.120 --> 0:04:43.719 It's like going through a divorce. You go through the disbelief, 0:04:44.040 --> 0:04:46.760 you go through, the anger, you go through oh my god, 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:50.680 it can't be true. And it's every single emotion that 0:04:50.760 --> 0:04:54.120 you go through when you're having a breakup. 0:04:56.160 --> 0:04:59.640 From major life decisions to the most irrelevant choices like 0:04:59.680 --> 0:05:02.200 what to do, eat or how to dress. After you 0:05:02.279 --> 0:05:05.920 leave a cult, your values and beliefs are stripped from you. 0:05:05.920 --> 0:05:09.679 You've become a blank slate and you have to rewrite 0:05:09.680 --> 0:05:13.560 it all alone, unsupported because most of your family and 0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:17.640 close friends have probably chosen to stay. They have chosen 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:20.760 the cult over you. 0:05:20.800 --> 0:05:24.479 Oh I heard that somebody is talking bad about the apostle. 0:05:25.000 --> 0:05:28.240 Don't even eat with him, all with her, because he's 0:05:28.279 --> 0:05:33.159 like ebola, you know, are like a virus. Suddenly you 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:36.120 don't have cousins, you not have brothers, you have uncles. 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:41.120 You're alone because you dare to talk bad about the apostle. 0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:46.440 Juel Silva explains the experience to a tea. Life after 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:50.000 a cult is incredibly lonely because you're basically living in exile, 0:05:50.520 --> 0:05:55.320 no matter how close you physically remain. So now, leaving 0:05:55.360 --> 0:05:57.960 a high control group isn't as simple as walking out 0:05:57.960 --> 0:06:00.919 to the front door and flipping everyone the finger, because 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:04.520 a cult is not circumscribed to a physical occasion. It's 0:06:04.560 --> 0:06:10.000 an entire lifestyle, belief system, community instead of mind. The 0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:12.440 conditioning of a high control group can take years to 0:06:12.480 --> 0:06:16.040 shake off, always leaving the newly minted Aposta with three 0:06:16.320 --> 0:06:21.279 precious parting gifts, fear, shame, and guilt. But the good 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:23.800 news is there is life after a cult, and it 0:06:23.839 --> 0:06:36.440 can be wonderful. I'm Roberta Garza and this is our 0:06:36.520 --> 0:06:41.400 last episode of Sacred Scandal SEASM two, Episode twelve, Finding 0:06:41.440 --> 0:07:02.240 the Force Within? Is it really possible to know if 0:07:02.279 --> 0:07:06.120 the preacher, the fitness class teacher, the yoga guru, the 0:07:06.160 --> 0:07:09.200 beloved politician, or the self help maiben you or a 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:13.120 loved one are so taken with, is really a narcissistic 0:07:13.200 --> 0:07:19.800 psychopath cult leader in disguise. Maybe there are certainly a 0:07:19.880 --> 0:07:23.000 number of signs or giveaways that can effectively act as 0:07:23.080 --> 0:07:27.160 red flags. The very first thing to SEUs out is 0:07:27.200 --> 0:07:29.440 how much the group is actually about what they claim 0:07:29.480 --> 0:07:34.320 to be, let's say, about fitness or spirituality or professional success, 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:39.120 instead of about the founder or leader. Diane ben Scotch, 0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:42.559 the cult expert we've met in previous episodes, explains it better. 0:07:43.600 --> 0:07:47.720 There's usually like a mystique around a leader that they 0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:51.800 seem like they are of God, and if other people 0:07:51.920 --> 0:07:57.000 start repeating that and looking to them for sacred truth, 0:07:57.640 --> 0:08:01.440 then there becomes an environment where you feel like if 0:08:01.520 --> 0:08:04.640 you're not experiencing that there's something wrong with you, you're 0:08:04.640 --> 0:08:08.760 not looking hard enough within yourself. Their followers think of 0:08:08.800 --> 0:08:13.600 them as having the answers, as having the truth, as 0:08:13.640 --> 0:08:17.640 being connected to God, and so I think oftentimes they 0:08:17.680 --> 0:08:22.240 begin to believe that about themselves. They start thinking of 0:08:22.280 --> 0:08:26.960 themselves as godlike, and they don't want to be questioned 0:08:27.040 --> 0:08:31.160 by anyone, because they really like to think of themselves 0:08:31.720 --> 0:08:35.600 as being the answer to all of life's questions. 0:08:37.080 --> 0:08:40.240 This is called the cult of personality. Most groups will 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:43.480 lack knowledge or educate their followers on their founders or 0:08:43.520 --> 0:08:47.120 whomever devise their techniques and methods, and that is perfectly normal. 0:08:48.040 --> 0:08:51.040 But if every class gathering or session you attend, you're 0:08:51.040 --> 0:08:54.600 reminded of the greatness of the fearless leader, of how special, 0:08:54.840 --> 0:08:57.760 how much better than the normal human he or she is, 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:01.040 if there are more tributes and rights around that figure 0:09:01.120 --> 0:09:04.880 than actual skill set development, or if your mates claim 0:09:05.000 --> 0:09:08.840 here or she has supernatural abilities, then you might be 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:13.680 swerving in the cultish territory. Be really concerned if whenever 0:09:13.760 --> 0:09:16.640 he or she shows up, people so soon giggle or 0:09:16.720 --> 0:09:21.600 show otherwise heightened states of nervousness, anxiety, or euphoria, because 0:09:21.640 --> 0:09:25.199 that is designed to be contagious, like teenagers fainting in 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:29.000 unison at a rock concert. The main intention is to 0:09:29.040 --> 0:09:31.760 convince you that the group and its leader are greater, 0:09:32.080 --> 0:09:34.439 more important than anything or anyone else. 0:09:35.960 --> 0:09:38.720 What happens when you join a high control group later 0:09:38.760 --> 0:09:44.080 in life, you're recruited. That means that you have a 0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:48.040 loss of your family of origin. This becomes your new family, 0:09:48.600 --> 0:09:51.120 and there's a grieving that goes on, but you feel 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:53.120 like you've met your true family. Now. 0:09:55.720 --> 0:09:58.360 Remember how Suchil Martin's aunt used to make her kiss 0:09:58.400 --> 0:10:02.480 the Apostles photo every night, how church members display the 0:10:02.520 --> 0:10:07.720 Apostles portraits prominently in their living spaces. In my school, 0:10:07.920 --> 0:10:12.280 Masiel's mystical gaze adorned every room, right over the blackboard, 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:15.680 bigger than the Christ on the cross next to him. 0:10:15.840 --> 0:10:18.360 And that's how easy it is for a swindler to 0:10:18.440 --> 0:10:22.720 become a saint. High control groups, at least for a time, 0:10:22.960 --> 0:10:27.120 are very good at hiding their toxicity. They present themselves 0:10:27.200 --> 0:10:31.280 as the opposite of harmful. They are loving, purposeful, and 0:10:31.360 --> 0:10:34.959 embrace new members with warmth and joy, making them feel 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:39.120 special and wanted. This is exactly what happened when Elissa's 0:10:39.120 --> 0:10:41.880 family found the support they needed to break away from 0:10:41.880 --> 0:10:45.640 her father's alcoholism. It was in l DM that the 0:10:45.679 --> 0:10:48.480 floor is found sobriety through a loving community and a 0:10:48.520 --> 0:10:51.040 clear road to heaven, or so they thought. 0:10:52.160 --> 0:10:56.320 You feel like this was the only place that was 0:10:56.360 --> 0:10:59.240 going to take you to heaven, only through believing the 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:01.200 Apostle of God, Can you go to Heaven? 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:07.000 Elisa's experience is not exceptional. No sane person just wakes 0:11:07.080 --> 0:11:09.280 up one morning and says, Hey, I think I'm going 0:11:09.320 --> 0:11:12.160 to join a cult. That's why it's so difficult for 0:11:12.200 --> 0:11:15.000 the average change and Joe's to understand how or why 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:18.240 anyone would fall for this life. Are cult members too 0:11:18.280 --> 0:11:21.960 ignorant to know better? No, it has nothing to do 0:11:22.040 --> 0:11:25.720 with knowledge or intelligence. People get into these groups because 0:11:25.760 --> 0:11:29.520 of emotional vulnerabilities, you know, the ones we all have. 0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:34.280 Joiners are just longing to be better, more spiritual, happier, 0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:38.720 to be part of something meaningful and relevant, because that's 0:11:38.760 --> 0:11:42.640 what cults usually offer. Yes, it's all lies, but at 0:11:42.679 --> 0:11:47.559 the very start it's not exactly obvious. Instead, it sounds comforting, 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:52.160 self assured, and convincing. Sochel Martin knows this pattern. 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:57.839 Well, that's where the dangers are. Any organization that says 0:11:57.840 --> 0:12:00.440 they have all the answers and they tell you how 0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:03.360 to live your life, those are red flags. 0:12:04.400 --> 0:12:08.559 Diane ben Scotter further explains how cults manipulate people's fragilities 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:09.840 to prey on them. 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:12.600 They're usually people that really care about the world, that 0:12:12.720 --> 0:12:15.400 care about wanting to make a difference in the world, 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:18.680 that want to be the best person that they can be. 0:12:19.040 --> 0:12:23.160 So there are some cults that are personal growth cults, 0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:28.120 like Scientology or nxiom or there's a variety of those 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:31.200 kind of cults that attract people who are looking for 0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:35.280 personal growth. And then there's people that feel like they 0:12:35.320 --> 0:12:37.200 want to be closer to God, they want to be 0:12:37.360 --> 0:12:41.679 more holy, they want a more sacred lifestyle. There's people 0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:45.280 who are idealistic and just really want peace on earth 0:12:45.360 --> 0:12:48.320 and really want to find people who are trying to 0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:50.760 create peace on earth. All you have to do is 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:53.680 believe in the leader, and that's such a relief. 0:12:56.760 --> 0:12:59.600 As you can see, joiners cannot simply be labeled as 0:12:59.679 --> 0:13:03.520 dumb or gullible. Oftentimes they're good, loving people who are 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:06.440 hurting or missing something in their lives that they can't 0:13:06.520 --> 0:13:10.679 quite find elsewhere. That's why all the encompassing sense of 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:14.560 warmth and community calls often showcase in the recruiting acts 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:15.720 works so well. 0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:22.480 I would say that when you grow up in a 0:13:22.520 --> 0:13:25.800 broken family, if you find a place or you land 0:13:25.800 --> 0:13:30.199 in a place somehow through destiny of life where they 0:13:30.240 --> 0:13:33.920 say they give you all the answers and they say 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:36.560 you're they're your only family, or imagine even being born 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:39.559 into that society, that community. 0:13:39.720 --> 0:13:43.400 Soon that belief system becomes foundational to your sense of self. 0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:48.280 What happens is that it becomes more than just a 0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:54.079 belief system. It becomes your identity. You start to think 0:13:54.160 --> 0:13:57.120 that you have found the most meaningful thing in the world, 0:13:57.640 --> 0:14:00.680 and that your life has a normal value. 0:14:00.760 --> 0:14:05.720 Now that that's not just talking theory. In the eighties, 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:08.079 she escaped a high control group as a young woman 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:11.160 and has dedicated herself to helping people break free from 0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:12.320 them ever since. 0:14:13.720 --> 0:14:18.520 I was seventeen years old when I met the Moonies, 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:23.360 and I was idealistic. I was really against the war, 0:14:23.920 --> 0:14:28.400 and I had kind of quit school and was worrying 0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:33.960 my family sick. And then suddenly I met this group, 0:14:33.960 --> 0:14:36.160 and I thought that the Messiah was on the earth, 0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:38.680 and that God had been preparing me to be a 0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:43.200 follower of Christ, and that all of that feeling of 0:14:43.400 --> 0:14:48.360 disconnectedness and loss and confusion about who I was was 0:14:48.440 --> 0:14:54.480 traded in for absolute right, self righteousness, for feeling like 0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:57.600 I was chosen by God to follow the Messiah. 0:15:01.960 --> 0:15:05.640 The group that enjoined was called the Unification Church, but 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:09.480 nicknamed the Moonies because of their founder's name, Sun Young Moon. 0:15:10.240 --> 0:15:13.680 They gained widespread popularity in the US in the nineteen seventies, 0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:16.520 partially because of their anti war stunts. 0:15:17.880 --> 0:15:19.800 You don't want to give that up. Plus, you have 0:15:19.880 --> 0:15:24.600 this community like minded people that are constantly reinforcing the 0:15:24.640 --> 0:15:27.520 belief system, and no one wants to give that up 0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:33.080 because it feels so good. And so when there's things 0:15:33.120 --> 0:15:38.360 that are contradictory to that, it's easy to rationalize because 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:41.120 they're telling you, well, no one else understands. They don't 0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:44.400 understand God's will, they don't understand God's way. 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:47.800 So it should be clear by now that a commentarating 0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:51.080 people who get tangled and sticky Culty spider webs is 0:15:51.080 --> 0:15:55.000 that they are vulnerable. They are in crisis, sometimes in 0:15:55.040 --> 0:15:55.880 desperate need of. 0:15:55.800 --> 0:16:01.080 Help, whether they're seeking comfort in a way that they 0:16:02.360 --> 0:16:05.240 feel confused about the world around them, or they feel 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:07.880 a loss of community or a loss of purpose in 0:16:07.920 --> 0:16:12.640 their life, or they're depressed for whatever reason, or just 0:16:12.920 --> 0:16:15.600 looking to use their life in a more valuable way. 0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:21.400 Those are just human characteristics. But for a predator who 0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:25.400 is looking to control people, they can take advantage of 0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:30.720 those characteristics by offering them easy answers to life's hard questions, 0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:34.160 a community to offer them a way to feel better 0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:35.200 about themselves. 0:16:36.720 --> 0:16:39.680 Once the kool aid has been fully swallowed, the process 0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:43.720 of isolation begins, and that's when the honeymoon ends, because 0:16:43.760 --> 0:16:47.800 the demands of occult and it's narcissistic overpowering leaders are intense. 0:16:49.120 --> 0:16:52.320 Little by little, the unconditional love and acceptance from before 0:16:52.880 --> 0:16:57.560 may now require you to follow certain rules, change some behaviors, 0:16:57.680 --> 0:17:01.920 or make some sacrifices without questioning any of it, or 0:17:02.280 --> 0:17:06.200 you might lose it all. Is your faith not strong enough? 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:09.919 Are you not ready? Is your love for the teacher 0:17:10.040 --> 0:17:13.480 or pastor fake? That's what they will start saying to 0:17:13.560 --> 0:17:18.600 you because high control groups only accepts full surrender, and 0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:21.879 that requires you to be completely torn from your previous life, 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:25.919 to cut all other attachments so that your only allegiance 0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:30.440 remains to the group and especially to its leader. There 0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:35.520 are no rather flags than that. One more on that 0:17:35.680 --> 0:17:49.280 after the break. At this stage, the game of OS 0:17:49.400 --> 0:17:53.600 versus them starts slowly and stealthily. It is not unusual 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:56.520 that loved ones begin asking why you're spending so much 0:17:56.560 --> 0:17:59.440 time with your new friends, why you have stopped coming 0:17:59.440 --> 0:18:02.679 around or quit your good job, why you have changed 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:05.680 the way you dress, or any of the other small 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:08.320 things the cult will gradually ask you to give up 0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:12.400 on their behalf to someone who's starting to grow into 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:16.760 occult mentality, these concerned questions will often feel like direct 0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:21.080 attacks or accusations, because that's what you would have been 0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:24.320 fed that those people, the others, what do you call 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:28.520 your friends and family, don't understand your talents, your missions, 0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:31.800 your gifts, that they are dragging you, that you must 0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:34.520 get rid of them in order to reach your full potential. 0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:38.480 Over and over, they would stress that the only people 0:18:38.480 --> 0:18:41.919 who truly understand you are your leaders and brothers in 0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:45.520 the cult, and that's when the abuse starts in earnest, 0:18:46.000 --> 0:18:50.000 because by then you have nowhere left to run. 0:18:51.080 --> 0:18:54.639 Isolation is oftentimes a part of a high control group, 0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:58.840 and when that happens, you can have absolute control over people. 0:18:58.880 --> 0:19:01.719 You control what they eat, control how much they sleep, 0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:05.680 how they pray, and they begin to control their own 0:19:05.720 --> 0:19:09.680 thoughts and emotions. In this environment, there's us and there's them, 0:19:10.200 --> 0:19:14.000 and so you begin to feel like if you go 0:19:14.119 --> 0:19:17.640 outside of the group, you don't fit in anymore. There's 0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:21.960 like a cognitive dissonance that happens outside of the group 0:19:22.080 --> 0:19:26.560 because it becomes so much your entire world, so much 0:19:26.680 --> 0:19:31.560 so that it feels when you go home to family 0:19:31.560 --> 0:19:34.320 members that aren't part of the group, you feel like 0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:36.840 you don't fit in. You have to get back to 0:19:36.920 --> 0:19:39.680 the group where your comfort zone is as soon as possible. 0:19:42.200 --> 0:19:44.680 I remember when I was a younger of fourteen, I 0:19:44.720 --> 0:19:47.359 was convinced by Matielle to leave home and join full 0:19:47.400 --> 0:19:51.800 time what the Order called their consecrated women. Think of 0:19:51.840 --> 0:19:54.119 those as nuns, but their vows were not made to 0:19:54.160 --> 0:19:56.960 the Vatican, or to the Pope or to Masielle's Order alone. 0:19:57.920 --> 0:20:00.640 I felt ecstatic to be chosen directly by this most 0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:03.840 Holy Man, but there was a problem. I had to 0:20:03.880 --> 0:20:06.720 wait until I was an adult, so my parents couldn't 0:20:06.760 --> 0:20:09.919 object to losing another child to his group. So he 0:20:10.000 --> 0:20:12.080 asked me not to tell my family any of it 0:20:12.440 --> 0:20:16.359 because they wouldn't understand God's will as he married a virgin, 0:20:16.400 --> 0:20:20.400 and I did. He ended by instructing me that while 0:20:20.400 --> 0:20:23.320 I waited to turn eighteen, I should dress more modestly, 0:20:23.880 --> 0:20:27.320 stop going out to parties, and to avoid all TV magazines. 0:20:27.359 --> 0:20:32.080 And movies. But it was nineteen eighty and The Empire 0:20:32.119 --> 0:20:35.240 Strikes Back had just been released, So I did the math. 0:20:35.640 --> 0:20:38.480 The next episode of the saga, the Return of the Jedi, 0:20:38.880 --> 0:20:41.120 wouldn't see the light of day until three or four 0:20:41.200 --> 0:20:44.480 years later. And what if it was too late? What 0:20:44.600 --> 0:20:47.719 if by then I had already surrendered myself, as one 0:20:47.800 --> 0:20:50.119 of my sisters had done before me, to one of 0:20:50.119 --> 0:20:53.720 the communal houses. Masille's women entered, never again to leave 0:20:53.840 --> 0:20:59.280 unattended or unshackled. Elisa recalls a similar moment as a 0:20:59.359 --> 0:21:00.000 child in Sand. 0:21:00.480 --> 0:21:06.280 Then, when I was young, probably about ten years old, 0:21:06.400 --> 0:21:08.400 I was in school and all of the girls had 0:21:08.400 --> 0:21:10.480 their earspears and I didn't. And I went to my 0:21:10.600 --> 0:21:12.719 dad and I said, I want to get my earspeers. 0:21:12.760 --> 0:21:14.879 And he's like, no, mehow we don't do those things. 0:21:15.080 --> 0:21:18.320 It's against God. And I'm like, what why? And so 0:21:18.400 --> 0:21:19.800 he took me to the minister. 0:21:20.640 --> 0:21:23.600 The minister was not on Alisa's side. 0:21:23.720 --> 0:21:26.280 The minister looks down at me and it's like, are 0:21:26.359 --> 0:21:29.160 you a slave? He doesn't come down to my level. 0:21:29.200 --> 0:21:31.600 He looks down at me, So I'm already feeling threatened. 0:21:31.640 --> 0:21:34.680 Then he goes because in the old days. That's how 0:21:34.680 --> 0:21:38.160 they identified their slaves. So are you a slave, I'm 0:21:38.160 --> 0:21:42.159 like no. Are you an animal? I'm like no? And 0:21:42.160 --> 0:21:46.480 he goes because they pierced the animal's ears and put 0:21:46.520 --> 0:21:48.639 a number on them, so they know who owns that 0:21:48.720 --> 0:21:51.440 particular animal. So if you're not a slave, and you're 0:21:51.480 --> 0:21:54.719 not an animal, then you don't get your earspeers. You 0:21:54.760 --> 0:21:57.440 see all of these people that have their earspeers, their 0:21:57.480 --> 0:21:58.719 slaves to the devil. 0:22:00.560 --> 0:22:04.399 The minister's words rang deep and stayed with Elisa for 0:22:04.560 --> 0:22:05.240 years to come. 0:22:06.280 --> 0:22:08.480 It scared me so much, and so din I was 0:22:08.520 --> 0:22:10.840 going to school looking at my friends, thinking, oh, she's 0:22:10.840 --> 0:22:13.679 the slave of the devil. She's a slave of the devil. 0:22:15.240 --> 0:22:18.160 Elisa headed to school every day, where she was surrounded 0:22:18.200 --> 0:22:22.120 by those satanized by her pastors and parents. Ell DM 0:22:22.200 --> 0:22:24.800 made sure the cute ear rings on her favorite teachers 0:22:24.840 --> 0:22:28.440 and on her little friends. Reminded Elisa how everyone outside 0:22:28.480 --> 0:22:32.480 her community was so sinful and corrupt, and how lucky 0:22:32.520 --> 0:22:37.240 she was to be among the apostle's flock. This inflexible 0:22:37.280 --> 0:22:41.240 barrier between us and them, between the so called chosen 0:22:41.280 --> 0:22:44.840 ones and the leftovers out there being presented as a 0:22:44.840 --> 0:22:47.440 blessing or a privilege, and not as a mental lockdown 0:22:48.119 --> 0:22:52.119 is a telltale sign of a cult's manipulation. It was 0:22:52.240 --> 0:22:54.760 very much a part of Mosille's stick when he asked 0:22:54.760 --> 0:22:57.119 me to join his group of women, but in my 0:22:57.240 --> 0:22:59.960 case it involved something much more powerful than a plain 0:23:00.119 --> 0:23:03.800 pair of hearings. I did not obey when the teachers 0:23:03.840 --> 0:23:06.760 at Mozille's school informed me and my classmates that the 0:23:06.800 --> 0:23:09.920 Star Wars movies were new age and thus satanic, and 0:23:09.920 --> 0:23:13.080 that we should not watch them. But I knew that 0:23:13.119 --> 0:23:16.119 if I became one of Nostropaldi's consecrated women, if I 0:23:16.320 --> 0:23:19.640 entered one of those very restricted communities, I would never 0:23:19.720 --> 0:23:22.040 ever be able to catch up on Hans's solo and 0:23:22.160 --> 0:23:25.639 Princess Leiah's next adventure, and that was too much for 0:23:25.800 --> 0:23:32.080 my teenage soul to bear. Earrings. Movies, pants, make up, 0:23:32.119 --> 0:23:36.280 and music may sound like frivolous, unimportant affairs, yet high 0:23:36.320 --> 0:23:38.920 control groups see them as threats to their very survival, 0:23:39.080 --> 0:23:44.840 as they do anything that sparks imagination, self expression, individuality, joy, 0:23:45.080 --> 0:23:50.280 or creativity. Months later, I bailed out of Mosile's plans 0:23:50.320 --> 0:23:54.520 for my salvation. He wasn't happy and accused me of 0:23:54.520 --> 0:23:58.040 being rebellious and selfish. I guess he found my lack 0:23:58.080 --> 0:24:03.400 of faith disturbing. Thirty five years or so later, Star 0:24:03.440 --> 0:24:06.320 Wars creator George Lucas happened to be staying at the 0:24:06.359 --> 0:24:09.640 same small hotel I checked into, in a lovely corner 0:24:09.680 --> 0:24:13.160 of Iceland. I regret not having the courage to tell 0:24:13.240 --> 0:24:16.359 him this story, or to thank him for ultimately saving 0:24:16.400 --> 0:24:22.600 my life. I hope it's clear by now that people 0:24:22.640 --> 0:24:25.679 don't simply enter high control groups because they lack smart 0:24:25.960 --> 0:24:29.680 or cunning. Drinking the kool aid is not a rational decision, 0:24:29.960 --> 0:24:35.320 but an emotional one, rounded in vulnerability, urgency, and crisis. 0:24:36.160 --> 0:24:38.840 And once the cult works their dark magic and people 0:24:38.880 --> 0:24:42.760 are separated from those they love, alienated from their past lives, 0:24:43.000 --> 0:24:46.520 first through seduction and then through fear, guilt, and abuse, 0:24:46.960 --> 0:24:51.000 they have nowhere else to go. Yet, against all odds, 0:24:51.200 --> 0:24:54.600 some people do muster the courage to leave. Once they do, 0:24:55.000 --> 0:24:57.199 one of the first things survivors have to work on 0:24:57.400 --> 0:25:01.639 is recalibrating their minds, fogged by years of neglect, suppression, 0:25:01.800 --> 0:25:04.840 and denial. They might be the ones telling the truth, 0:25:05.160 --> 0:25:07.240 but they will be called liars by the members who 0:25:07.280 --> 0:25:11.360 stay behind. They might want to stop the cult leader's perversion, 0:25:12.080 --> 0:25:14.000 but they are the ones who will be called slots 0:25:14.040 --> 0:25:17.520 and whores by their community for the first time in years. 0:25:17.560 --> 0:25:20.760 They might see clearly, but people will accuse them of 0:25:20.800 --> 0:25:25.639 being crazy, of exaggerating or distorting the facts. That was 0:25:25.680 --> 0:25:27.719 the case for Elisa when she tried to help her 0:25:27.720 --> 0:25:30.399 family see the truth behind el a DM's version of 0:25:30.480 --> 0:25:31.800 naissance crimes. 0:25:32.800 --> 0:25:36.679 I didn't say anything to my other siblings for a while, 0:25:37.280 --> 0:25:39.520 and then I said, I don't believe in the Apostle 0:25:39.560 --> 0:25:42.280