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Speaker 1: Thanks personally.

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Speaker 2: With Morgan fuels Man, I'm bringing back the Amesgarden Residence series.

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Speaker 2: This week you're going to hear from Margaret. She's ninety

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Speaker 2: three years old and has so much life and wisdom

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Speaker 2: to share. And the next week you're going to hear

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Speaker 2: from Backsei. You guys love this series last time, so

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Speaker 2: we brought it back for another round and hopefully many

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Speaker 2: more in the future. So for now, let's get to it. Everybody,

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Speaker 2: meet Margaret. I'm really excited to be joined by Margaret

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Speaker 2: this week. Hey Margaret, Hey, how are you.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing well.

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Speaker 2: I hear what we pulled you from your favorite game ever,

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Speaker 2: Majong to do this interview.

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Speaker 1: That's exactly right, and I head almost I liked one towel.

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Speaker 2: Oh, so you're not happy with me right now? Are you?

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Speaker 1: Now? Someone else Majon before I did? Okay, and that

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Speaker 1: can happen.

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Speaker 2: And so I hear you were in a league once

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Speaker 2: upon a time? Is that true?

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Speaker 1: That's true?

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Speaker 2: What were you just like this great Majong player?

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Speaker 1: Not exactly, but I was better than I am.

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Speaker 2: Now okay, how did you get into to Majong? Where

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Speaker 2: did that love for Majeong start?

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Speaker 1: Probably in the late fifties.

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Speaker 2: Okay, somebody introduced it to you, that's right. Was it

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Speaker 2: a family member or no, it.

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Speaker 1: Was a friend. She was having a class on Majen

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Speaker 1: and asked me if I would like to join, and

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Speaker 1: I said yes. And there was four of us that

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Speaker 1: had never played before, and she was teaching us how

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Speaker 1: to play.

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Speaker 2: Wow, and now you still play to this day.

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Speaker 1: That's right.

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Speaker 2: And if you don't mind me asking, how old are you? Margaret?

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Speaker 1: I'm ninety three? What in June? I was ninety three?

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Speaker 1: This next June? If I still kicking? Yeah, I am

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Speaker 1: ninety four.

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Speaker 2: Do you see you? You look amazing?

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Speaker 1: Thank you?

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Speaker 2: I need the secret you're ninety three years old?

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Speaker 1: I'm ninety three?

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Speaker 2: How like? What do you do?

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Speaker 1: I just forget that I'm living?

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Speaker 2: What exactly does forget that you're living? Mean?

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Speaker 1: I just go on and don't think about it.

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Speaker 2: Okay, we just live. You just do what you're gonna do,

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Speaker 2: regardless's right.

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Speaker 1: I just get up and start.

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Speaker 2: Okay. And what does that normal day look like for

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Speaker 2: you now?

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Speaker 1: Well, since I retired the third time, I just get

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Speaker 1: up and sometimes I read the paper and have a

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Speaker 1: cup of coffee before I get dressed. And then I

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Speaker 1: go get dressed and off with whatever comes in front

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Speaker 1: of me.

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Speaker 2: Well, Margaret, we're gonna walk this way back. Okay, I

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Speaker 2: want to hear your life story. If you were to

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Speaker 2: make your story into a movie or a book, what

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Speaker 2: would you be telling. What would that story look like?

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Speaker 1: Well, I grew up in the country on a farm.

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Speaker 1: We had no electricity. There was no running water except

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Speaker 1: in the river that ran down the hill from us,

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Speaker 1: so we had lamps for light at night, so most

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Speaker 1: everybody went to bed early as soon as the sun

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Speaker 1: went down because there was not enough light to do

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Speaker 1: anything from a lamp. There was no roads, only the

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Speaker 1: wagon roads that went through, and most of the way

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Speaker 1: we traveled was on foot in a path we cut

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Speaker 1: through everybody's property.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you were very country living to get to where

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Speaker 2: we were going quickly.

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Speaker 1: When I was five years old, my grandmother, my mother's mother,

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Speaker 1: had a stroke and we moved in with her to

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Speaker 1: take care of her because she was paralyzed from her

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Speaker 1: neck down, and my other grandmother lived by herself and

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Speaker 1: my sister that's just older than me. She used to

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Speaker 1: come and get us to cut her wood for her

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Speaker 1: to burn through the winter because we didn't have electric

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Speaker 1: heat or anything. We burnt wood for heat and we

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Speaker 1: cooked with wood. We had a wooden stove that my

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Speaker 1: mother cooked on. And she didn't have anybody to cut

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Speaker 1: her wood for her, so she would come. She would

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Speaker 1: walk over to our house to get us to come

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Speaker 1: to her house to cut her wood for her for

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Speaker 1: the winter. And she had me to help her saw.

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Speaker 1: It was a long saw with a handle on each end,

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Speaker 1: and she had my sister to sit on the log

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Speaker 1: to hold it because they had a rack like this

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Speaker 1: that they put the log through so it wouldn't roll.

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Speaker 1: Because my sister didn't pull her weight on the saw,

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Speaker 1: so my grandmother said it wore her out pulling my

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Speaker 1: sister across the saw when she was sawing the wood.

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Speaker 1: So she had me because I pulled a saw.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So what age were you when you started to

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Speaker 2: have running, you know, electricity and water in the hull?

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Speaker 2: When did that happen in your life?

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Speaker 1: I had already left home. I was fourteen.

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Speaker 2: You left home at fourteen? Is there was there a

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Speaker 2: particular reason?

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Speaker 1: Well, there was ten children and that was one less

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Speaker 1: mouth to feed. So I got a job. My sister

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Speaker 1: took me to this ice cream place called kat Nanny's

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Speaker 1: ice Cream cat Nannies. It was on Third and Gay Street,

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Speaker 1: and they hired me and I went to work that day. Wow,

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Speaker 1: and I had been working there. I went to work

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Speaker 1: in May, and it was about July. I heard this

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Speaker 1: woman in the ice cream department. My job was sacking popsicles.

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Speaker 1: You had these little sacks paper thing and you opened

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Speaker 1: it with your finger and you put the popsicle in there,

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Speaker 1: and you picked them up and put the popsicle in there.

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Speaker 1: They brought the popsicles out of the freezer where they

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Speaker 1: had gotten solid, and they opened this thing up and

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Speaker 1: all these popsicles came out. So there was about six

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Speaker 1: of us around the table that sacked the popsicles. So

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Speaker 1: I heard this lady telling this guy that they closed.

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Speaker 1: They were going to close the plant in about a month,

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Speaker 1: and by the time school started at that time. The

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Speaker 1: school here started on Tuesday, after Labor Day. So I thought, uh, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to have a job, so I need

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Speaker 1: to find another job. So I went in the office

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Speaker 1: and I told the guy that owned the place that

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Speaker 1: my grandmother was coming in from Washington, d c. And

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Speaker 1: she was coming into the train station at that time,

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Speaker 1: we had trains that come through Nashville and passenger trains,

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Speaker 1: and that I had to meet her and take her

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Speaker 1: to the bus station so she could go home. Of

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Speaker 1: course that wasn't true, so he said, okay, So I

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Speaker 1: left and I went up on Fifth Avenue and there

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Speaker 1: was three dime stores. There was what Woolworth, McClellan's, and Cressey's.

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Speaker 2: In Dame store meaning what's a dime store?

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Speaker 1: Dime store meant that you could get things for a

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Speaker 1: nickel or dime. Okay, you know, they had things that

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Speaker 1: was more expensive, but it was called a dime store

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Speaker 1: because they had certain items that was ten cents.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so kind of like we have dollar stores today.

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Speaker 1: Okay, right, And so I went in and I interviewed

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Speaker 1: with this lady and she told me I could start

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Speaker 1: to work next day. Well, being young and never having

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Speaker 1: a job before, I didn't know that I needed to

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Speaker 1: let them know I wasn't coming back in.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, you're proteen.

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Speaker 1: So I go home that night and I get up

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Speaker 1: and I go to my new job the next morning

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Speaker 1: and I work there until I worked behind the launch counter,

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Speaker 1: and they moved me during Christmas down to the toy department.

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Speaker 1: And I think everyone sometime in their life should work

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Speaker 1: in the toy department.

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Speaker 2: Okay, was it a very stressful situation?

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Speaker 1: Well, people came in with their children and turned them

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Speaker 1: a loose in the toy department, and you had to

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Speaker 1: pick these toys up everywhere all over the store that

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Speaker 1: they had taken and played with. And anyway, somebody came

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Speaker 1: through and they saw me. Came through from my hometown,

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Speaker 1: and they saw me, and they knew that I wasn't

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Speaker 1: sixteen at the time. You had to be sixteen. They

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Speaker 1: kept moving the date you had to be sixteen at

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Speaker 1: the time to work. So the lady that had hired

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Speaker 1: me came around and told me that someone had come

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Speaker 1: through and saw me working and knew I was in sixteen.

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Speaker 1: She says, when will you six be sixteen? And I

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Speaker 1: said next.

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Speaker 2: Week you weren't.

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Speaker 1: So she said, well, you go ahead and take the

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Speaker 1: rest of the day off and come back next week

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Speaker 1: and start from there. So I said, okay, So I

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Speaker 1: got my purse and I left and I went down

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Speaker 1: the street to Cressy's and I applied for a job.

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Speaker 2: You're a working woman, and.

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Speaker 1: They were getting ready to open the lunch counter, and

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Speaker 1: they wanted me to work in the lunch counter, so

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Speaker 1: I told them that I would, and they had a

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Speaker 1: week's training. So I went in the next week for

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Speaker 1: my week's training. They trained us on the cash register

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Speaker 1: and different things and let us work in the store

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Speaker 1: for a week before the lunch counter opened. And the

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Speaker 1: lunch counter was only open for lunch. And anyway, I

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Speaker 1: was working behind the lunch counter. So somebody came through

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Speaker 1: that saw me working and knew I was in sixteen,

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Speaker 1: so I had worked about almost two years, and so

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Speaker 1: they made me go back to school. So this was

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Speaker 1: like in the end of March. School was out first

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Speaker 1: to my I don't know why they didn't leave me alone.

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Speaker 2: You're like, I just want to work. Why is this

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Speaker 2: so hard? Where were you living at the time and

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Speaker 2: all this because you had left home.

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Speaker 1: Well, they used to have boarding houses and you would rent.

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Speaker 2: A room, okay, and that's where you were renting from.

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Speaker 1: I moved from boarding house to boarding house, just like

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Speaker 1: I moved from job to chop.

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Speaker 2: How okay, by the time you were twenty one, how

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Speaker 2: many jobs had you had had?

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Speaker 1: Oh, by the time I was twenty one, I had

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Speaker 1: worked at cat nannies. I had worked at Woolworth, I

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Speaker 1: had worked at Crasses and then I went to work

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Speaker 1: for Worthing Industries.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so you went back to school. Did you end

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Speaker 2: up graduating high school?

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Speaker 1: I did?

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Speaker 2: Did you go?

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Speaker 1: Because they wouldn't let me go to high school until

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Speaker 1: I was eighteen.

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Speaker 2: You couldn't go to high school until you're eighteen.

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Speaker 1: That's right, because it was an adult high school and

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Speaker 1: if you were under eighteen you needed to be in

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Speaker 1: regular school. I needed to work.

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Speaker 2: And did you ever do college? Was college?

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Speaker 1: I went to night college?

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Speaker 2: Okay? And when did you finish?

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Speaker 1: TEA had a Nashville branch like Chattanooga Brants or UT

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Speaker 1: from UT and it's now Tennessee State.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So you go to night school? When did you

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Speaker 2: finish night school? Night college?

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Speaker 1: I didn't finish. I had thirty some than credits and

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Speaker 1: I got married, so I didn't get to finish.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So you did you meet your husband in night school? Okay?

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Speaker 2: In night school?

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Speaker 1: Tell me I was going to night school as well.

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Speaker 2: And tell me about this husband. Are you guys still together?

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Speaker 2: What's the situation we are?

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Speaker 1: Okay, we're still married, but he has dementia and he's

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Speaker 1: in the Veteran's Administration in Manchester, not Manchester Murphy's Bar.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So when did you guys, cause you're here at Apecarten. Now,

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Speaker 2: when did you guys go into different places? When did

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Speaker 2: that happen? Were you guys?

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Speaker 1: He was there two years the sixteenth of September. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So so resale and broke his help and had to

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Speaker 1: go into rehab.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that recently happened to my grandma, and I know

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Speaker 2: how difficult that is, especially recovery wise. So you guys

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Speaker 2: have been married then, for gosh, if you met in

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Speaker 2: night school? How many years have you been married?

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Speaker 1: Sixty five?

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Speaker 2: Wow? What's the key to that? You're hanging out with

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Speaker 2: a boy for sixty five years? How did you do that?

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Speaker 1: Well? I just liked him a little bit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, just a little bit. Was it positively love at

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Speaker 2: first sight at night school? No?

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Speaker 1: Not really, not really. He was in one of my

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Speaker 1: classes and I don't know, I was late for class

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Speaker 1: one night and the only seat that was available was

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Speaker 1: next to him. So I set out and I started

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Speaker 1: talking to him.

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Speaker 2: And so, how fast was your guys's first date? After

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Speaker 2: that meeting?

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Speaker 1: We probably didn't have a date for two or three months.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so just kind of friendly.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we just was friends.

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Speaker 2: And then it just kind of morphed into more.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: All right. Did you guys end up having any cares

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Speaker 2: or anything like your sons? Were you a stay at

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Speaker 2: home mom or did you work?

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Speaker 1: I was when I left Worthing Industries. My husband was

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Speaker 1: working for Cave Jewelers and they moved him to Columbus. O'hiwe.

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Speaker 1: So I had to leave my job, and I was pregnant.

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Speaker 1: I had to leave when I was six months pregnant. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: So I moved to Columbus, ohiwe and both of the

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Speaker 1: boys was born in Columbusa, howe. And then they moved

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Speaker 1: him to Huntington, West Virginia. They used him as when

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Speaker 1: they were having problems at a store he was he

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Speaker 1: would go and straighten out what was going on.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So because he worked at CA Jewelers, do you

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Speaker 2: have a very extensive jewelry collection now?

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Speaker 1: Not anymore. I gave it to the grandchildren and the

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Speaker 1: daughter in laws.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well that's a cool thing to pass down. Would

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Speaker 2: he just come home from work and just have a

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Speaker 2: new saying for you? Often?

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Speaker 1: Sometimes sometimes?

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Speaker 2: Or was it when he owed you an apology and

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Speaker 2: you bring one.

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Speaker 1: How that happened to.

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Speaker 2: Like, this is my apology bracelet. I got apology ear rings.

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Speaker 2: That's cool. What was your favorite thing that he gifted you?

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Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be from kas, but if that's

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Speaker 2: one of them.

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Speaker 1: No, I don't know that I have anything from K's.

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Speaker 1: It was most most of everything was after he purchased

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Speaker 1: the store. He owned a store in an arcade.

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Speaker 2: Wow, a jewelry store.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's cool. And then he opened up another store

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Speaker 1: in Brentwood.

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Speaker 2: Wow. Okay, So yeah, you were rolling in the jewelry, right.

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Speaker 1: I had a few nice pieces.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but now I see you and you don't. You

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Speaker 2: really don't have much on not anymore. No.

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Speaker 1: I have arthritis in my hands and it causes my

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Speaker 1: fingers to each the weight of it.

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Speaker 2: So the joy of getting older.

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Speaker 1: That's part of your golden years.

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Speaker 2: No more wearing golden things, right, that's what it is. Okay?

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Speaker 2: So wait, that's marriage, And did you learn anything about yourself?

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Speaker 2: And in this long years of marriage, did you learn

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Speaker 2: anything about marriage? Maybe marriage advice you could give us

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Speaker 2: young people that aren't married yet.

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Speaker 1: Well, everything's supposed to be fifty to fifty, but it's

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Speaker 1: not okay, it's more like nine e ten Okay most

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Speaker 1: of the time. I don't know. You just can't take

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Speaker 1: too much.

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Speaker 2: Seriously, did you guys have a lot of laughter?

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Speaker 1: We had a lot of laughter and a lot of

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Speaker 1: tough times too.

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Speaker 2: You look at your life now and you look at

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Speaker 2: those tough moments that you guys went through, how did

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Speaker 2: you find your way through it? Like, what was your

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Speaker 2: experience like that? Maybe if somebody is going to be

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Speaker 2: facing that, because they inevitably will, how would you tell

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Speaker 2: them to manage and get through those situations.

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Speaker 1: Well, my husband, when he got angry about something, he

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Speaker 1: wouldn't talk to you. That was his way of punishing you.

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Speaker 1: To me, that was a great moment of silence.

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Speaker 2: So he thought he was punishing you. You took it.

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Speaker 1: As a gift, yes, yes, So you just have to

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Speaker 1: take the gifts when you get them.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's a good one. What about as a mom,

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Speaker 2: what did you learn about yourself as being a mom?

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Speaker 1: Well? I tried to be a good mom a lot

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Speaker 1: of times. Whenever you have small children and there's a

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Speaker 1: lot to be done, sometimes you get stressed out. So

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Speaker 1: I probably did some things that I shouldn't have done,

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Speaker 1: or not that I shouldn't have done, but maybe I

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Speaker 1: should have done it in a different way. So I

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Speaker 1: learned how to do that because at that time, everybody thought,

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Speaker 1: you know, spanking was what you were supposed to do.

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Speaker 1: But I learned that you could talk to someone and

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Speaker 1: get the same results.

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Speaker 2: That's good advice. And were there a lot of things

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Speaker 2: that you look back on now and realize it was

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Speaker 2: just what you were being taught how to handle things,

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Speaker 2: or you were being this is what everybody was doing,

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Speaker 2: So this is what you did.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and there's no book on what you're supposed to do.

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Speaker 1: It's all learn learn as you go.

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Speaker 2: I often say whenever I have conversations with my mom

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Speaker 2: or I look back on like our life and me

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Speaker 2: growing up, as I see my mom now as someone

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Speaker 2: who is it's also her first time living too. She's

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Speaker 2: trying to figure it out just as much as I am. Yes,

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Speaker 2: even though you know we often call the adults in

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Speaker 2: our lives, I call my mom a premium adult. I'm

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Speaker 2: an adult, but she's a premium an adult because she's

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Speaker 2: had more experience, she has the more wisdom. But still

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Speaker 2: it's both of our first time living right, and it's

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Speaker 2: each age is the first time you're going to be

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Speaker 2: there that's right. So you don't know how to handle

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Speaker 2: it right until it's there, And so very much of

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Speaker 2: what you're saying aligns with that. Did you have any

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Speaker 2: regrets over like you you look at this point, I mean,

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Speaker 2: you are, gosh, you've lived ninety three incredible years. Is

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Speaker 2: there anything you look back in your life and you

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Speaker 2: regret or you wish did it happen or anything along

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Speaker 2: those lines.

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Speaker 1: Oh? Sure there are things that you know, I would

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Speaker 1: have liked to been different, but I wouldn't have been

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Speaker 1: who I am if it had been different.

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Speaker 2: Is that Does it help when you look at things

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Speaker 2: now and you feel that way, to have that perspective

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Speaker 2: that you're glad it worked out how it needed to

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Speaker 2: work out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, you know, you can't change you can't

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Speaker 1: change anything that's happened. And at the time what you

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Speaker 1: did you thought was right. But you look back on

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Speaker 1: it and you think, you know, I could have handled

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Speaker 1: this differently, or I could have done something differently, But

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Speaker 1: you can't go back and redo it. It's a one

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Speaker 1: time thing that you go life is a one time

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Speaker 1: thing you go through. So it's not something that I

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Speaker 1: dwell on because I know I can't change anything. So

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Speaker 1: I do think about things from time to time, but

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Speaker 1: I can't change it, so I just have to go on.

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Speaker 2: Is there stuff that do you ever ride a bucket

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Speaker 2: list or do you have a bucket list or things

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Speaker 2: that you've wanted to do now?

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Speaker 1: Well, not now, but I did, and most everything was

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Speaker 1: done that I really wanted to do. Uh, there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of things that was not on my bucket list

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Speaker 1: that I had that happened.

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Speaker 2: Okay, what are some of those things that were not

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Speaker 2: on there that did happen?

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Speaker 1: Well, when I fell and hurt my back. Oh, we're

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Speaker 1: talking niggai if that was not on my bucket list,

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Speaker 1: and so there's a few things that wasn't on my

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Speaker 1: bucket list but I had to go through.

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Speaker 2: You were telling me a story about how you had

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Speaker 2: fallen and you had to go to the hospital. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: can you tell me that story a little bit again.

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Speaker 1: Well, when I fell, I was on concrete and I

389
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Speaker 1: was putting some stuff in the recycle bin and I

390
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 1: forgot that it was empty. So I had this big

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Speaker 1: box of stuff that I was going to put in

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Speaker 1: the recycle bin. So I put the the box, the

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Speaker 1: other end of the box on the recycle bin, and

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Speaker 1: I was gonna dump it over in there, and the

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00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 1: recycle bin moved with me, and the stuff that I

396
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:04,480
Speaker 1: was gonna dump come back on me, and I lost

397
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Speaker 1: my balance and fell, and I had my glasses on,

398
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Speaker 1: so my glasses was embedded up under my eyebone and

399
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Speaker 1: cut all the way across my eyelid.

400
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 2: Gosh, you can't tell now.

401
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,879
Speaker 1: No, she did a great job. And I wish she

402
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 1: had a done a.

403
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 2: Tuck trying to show everything away.

404
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean if she just, you know, pulled up

405
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Speaker 1: some stuff and cut it off and stitched it up,

406
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,640
Speaker 1: it would have been the same thing. I still had

407
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 1: black and blue all over my face. And I asked

408
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:48,120
Speaker 1: her when she was gonna do the stitching if she couldn't,

409
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:52,160
Speaker 1: you know, do some little tucks here and there, and

410
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Speaker 1: she said she wasn't qualified.

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Speaker 2: You tried, though, I did. You're like, I'm gonna be

412
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Speaker 2: stuck here, Please make it worth it.

413
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:03,600
Speaker 1: That's right. I might as well get as much as

414
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 1: I can out of it.

415
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 2: This is not what I asked for, but dang it,

416
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,119
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get something out of it.

417
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I needed my insurance to pay for it. No,

418
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Speaker 1: we all.

419
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Speaker 2: Oh man, you have gotten older. So what is the

420
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:21,240
Speaker 2: moments in your life when you look at you're like, dang,

421
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Speaker 2: what's the best part about getting older and what's the

422
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 2: worst part about getting older?

423
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Speaker 1: Well, the best part about getting older, I guess is

424
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 1: just racking up the age. The worst part about getting

425
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 1: older is everything goes and everything meaning well your body

426
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 1: just gravity pulls it towards the crown.

427
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Speaker 2: And this is where you were talking about that you've

428
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 2: lost inches in your height.

429
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Speaker 1: Yes, and I feel like my shoulders is on my waist.

430
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Speaker 1: I mean I feel like I looked like SpongeBob here.

431
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:03,800
Speaker 2: That's never not gonna be funny. You don't look like

432
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Speaker 2: SpongeBob by.

433
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:08,920
Speaker 1: The way, Well, I feel like I'm look like SpongeBob.

434
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 1: I feel like a square blob.

435
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 2: You don't look it. You look amazing. But it's something

436
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,480
Speaker 2: you probably aren't prepared for either. As it starts to happen,

437
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:21,080
Speaker 2: your body starts to change and things are happening, you're like,

438
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:21,880
Speaker 2: what's going on?

439
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 1: That's right?

440
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 2: And then you're just there and now there's nothing you

441
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 2: can do about it.

442
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:30,920
Speaker 1: I mean, like all your muscles go like under my arms.

443
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 1: I just tell everybody I'm growing my wings.

444
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,200
Speaker 2: Because you're an angel.

445
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,080
Speaker 1: That's right, I'm working on it.

446
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:45,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh my goodness. Talking just about your life and

447
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 2: all the things that you've learned. What are some lessons

448
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:52,520
Speaker 2: you've learned over the course of your life.

449
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 1: I guess the best lesson that I learned was not

450
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:02,640
Speaker 1: to gives half away. When somebody says something, just ignore it.

451
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 1: Or if somebody says something negative, just leave that with them.

452
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 1: It's not on you. Just don't give them your spirit

453
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 1: or whatever.

454
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 2: It's not worth the time.

455
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 1: No, no, because it doesn't change anything about you. But

456
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:26,800
Speaker 1: whatever somebody else thinks about you, it doesn't change anything.

457
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 1: So you know, whatever they think is their thinking, not

458
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:32,200
Speaker 1: your thinking.

459
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 2: And Margaret, you strike me as someone who is quite

460
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,160
Speaker 2: sassy when you were younger. Would that be correct?

461
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 1: Probably? But I didn't think.

462
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 2: That I hear this beginning of your life story. What

463
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 2: about looking at the world today. You came from a

464
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:52,520
Speaker 2: family of ten kids. You guys didn't have running water,

465
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:56,000
Speaker 2: you didn't have electricity to now and now we got

466
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,720
Speaker 2: these like little crazy phones that have everything in them.

467
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,880
Speaker 2: We've got all kinds of camera technology and stuff like

468
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,480
Speaker 2: what is your perspective on the world as you look

469
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,480
Speaker 2: at it and everything that you've seen and all the

470
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 2: changes that have happened.

471
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 1: I just move when the time moves. I want to

472
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:16,920
Speaker 1: know all of the stuff that's going on. I mean,

473
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 1: when I was at Vanderbilt, I was the first one

474
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 1: to get a computer. I didn't know how to use

475
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 1: the computer, but you better believe I was in there

476
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,280
Speaker 1: trying to learn if that was going to be what

477
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:31,000
Speaker 1: the world was going to be, I had to join it.

478
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people that were afraid to

479
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:41,480
Speaker 1: try things, but I figure, if you don't try, you fail.

480
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 1: Before anything happens, you've already failed. So I'm going to

481
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 1: get in there and give it a try.

482
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:53,280
Speaker 2: So you were always very much changing with what was happening.

483
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:57,200
Speaker 1: You have to you have to just think of what

484
00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 1: we're on the edge of I and just think what

485
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 1: the world is going to change with its artificial intelligence.

486
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 1: And of course probably the kids now that's growing up

487
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 1: will be a part of that. But for my age,

488
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 1: I don't know if I will live long enough to

489
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 1: understand that much about it or be able to learn

490
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 1: that much from it. But if I am, I want

491
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:32,360
Speaker 1: to be in there learning about it, just like everybody else,

492
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 1: because otherwise you stand still, you don't grow.

493
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 2: It's a very cool perspective to hear from you, because

494
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 2: there's a lot of people that are very afraid of change. Yeah,

495
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 2: and the world is constantly changing, especially now.

496
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 1: Yes, we have.

497
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:54,520
Speaker 2: Technology of all kinds. As someone who has seen it all,

498
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 2: and you've what we often call the good old days

499
00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 2: before all of this, do you often feel well that way?

500
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:04,240
Speaker 2: Are you like, Wow, it's really cool. What's happening. What's

501
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 2: your kind of perspective on that?

502
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 1: Well, I think it's cool that the stuff is happening.

503
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 1: I mean, just think of the people that's going to

504
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 1: outer space and they say that they're going to have

505
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:25,200
Speaker 1: people living on Mars. If I had been younger, I'd say,

506
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 1: I want to be the first one up there.

507
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:28,959
Speaker 2: Send me to Mars.

508
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 1: That's right.

509
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 2: You'd have been fourteen when you were supposed to be eighteen,

510
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 2: and they would have said, okay, well we're gonna send

511
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:36,560
Speaker 2: you too late to send you back.

512
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:36,960
Speaker 1: Right.

513
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 2: What about your other like these different phases of your life,

514
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:47,680
Speaker 2: one where you were a young kid and you were

515
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 2: working to then being you know, in your twenties and

516
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 2: you get married, and then you have kids, and you

517
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:57,960
Speaker 2: have all these different phases of your life. Is there

518
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 2: anything in those phases that you wish you would have

519
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 2: done differently? Or are you happy with the things that

520
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 2: you chose?

521
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 1: I could have done some of the things different, but

522
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 1: as I said, you can't change. I mean, even though

523
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 1: if you look back and say you wish you had

524
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 1: done something, it doesn't make it any different.

525
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:20,200
Speaker 2: Because you hear a lot of people talk about how

526
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 2: if I took this route, then this would have been

527
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,160
Speaker 2: my life, or if I did this, then this is

528
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 2: what would have turned out. And I think you have

529
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 2: a lot of people who just live with this idea

530
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 2: of what if.

531
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:35,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you can't because you can't live in the past.

532
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:39,959
Speaker 1: You gotta live for tomorrow. You gotta figure out what

533
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do tomorrow rather than what did that do yesterday?

534
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:46,240
Speaker 1: Because yesterday's gone?

535
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 2: Yeah it is. You got to live very much in

536
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 2: the present moment. What's happening now? And what about you today?

537
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:58,360
Speaker 2: We've learned about young Margaret in your twenties and you're working.

538
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 2: What about you now? What is the things that you're

539
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 2: doing in your life now? As a ninety three year

540
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:08,600
Speaker 2: old woman that maybe look different or maybe can showcase

541
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,479
Speaker 2: what life can look like as you get older.

542
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 1: Well, I try to live each day and do something it.

543
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 1: I mean, life doesn't start because you get ninety three.

544
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 1: You wake up tomorrow and you try to make the best.

545
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 2: Of it, which includes mahjong, includes majon.

546
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 1: We have meetings, we have the goodies new sale, and

547
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:41,800
Speaker 1: I've been making fruitcakes for the sale, and you just

548
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 1: try to do something productive.

549
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 2: If we could leave anybody with something, it can be

550
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 2: a piece of advice, It could be motivation, It can

551
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 2: be a story maybe that we didn't get too that

552
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 2: you really want to share. What's something you would want

553
00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 2: people to know that are listening to this.

554
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 1: Well, to get old, you lose a lot of your

555
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 1: ability to make decisions. It gets very hard to make

556
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:25,320
Speaker 1: decisions because you know that you don't have many years

557
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 1: to change anything that you've made a decision for, so

558
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:35,360
Speaker 1: you want to make the right decision, and it's difficult

559
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 1: to decide that this is this and that's that you

560
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 1: lose your a lot of your patients. Things that used

561
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:49,960
Speaker 1: to never bother me. I never give it two thoughts.

562
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:55,720
Speaker 1: You just don't have the ability to blow things off

563
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 1: like you did when you were younger. It gets to you.

564
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 1: I mean, it gets harder to take care of things,

565
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:08,680
Speaker 1: take care of your own business. I still do all

566
00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:12,840
Speaker 1: of my check writing and paying bills and all of that,

567
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 1: and it gets harder to do all of that. As

568
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:20,839
Speaker 1: you get older, you don't move as fast, you don't

569
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:25,719
Speaker 1: get as much done. And a lot of times at night,

570
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:28,960
Speaker 1: I think back what I did during the day, and

571
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:32,560
Speaker 1: I didn't accomplish all the things I wanted to do.

572
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:35,719
Speaker 1: A lot of times I make a list of what

573
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:38,400
Speaker 1: I want to do during the day, and I mark

574
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:42,240
Speaker 1: them off so that I feel that I have accomplished something.

575
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,680
Speaker 2: Nothing feels as good as checking something off a list.

576
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:50,720
Speaker 1: Yes, you're absolutely right, and I don't have any difficulty

577
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 1: in doing that.

578
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 2: That part's easier. I wish I could just do that.

579
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 2: Do I have to do the task? No, just let

580
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,600
Speaker 2: me mark it off. That's what I would like to

581
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 2: do every day.

582
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 1: Yep.

583
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,640
Speaker 2: Okay, Well that was a really good thing. And what

584
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:08,120
Speaker 2: about a piece of advice for anybody who's listening. Maybe

585
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:11,240
Speaker 2: they're my age, maybe they're your age, maybe they're anywhere

586
00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:13,960
Speaker 2: in between. Something that you just think would be important

587
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:14,719
Speaker 2: for them to hear.

588
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:23,960
Speaker 1: Well, what I learned was that most people worry about

589
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:29,880
Speaker 1: the wrong thing. They let things. That is, you worry

590
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 1: about things that may happen, could happen. You have to

591
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:38,920
Speaker 1: let that go. If it happens, it happens, and you

592
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 1: deal with it when it happens. You can't worry about

593
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 1: it before because you're losing a lot of time and

594
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 1: a lot of effort that you could be spending somewhere else.

595
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,360
Speaker 1: We get bogged down with a lot of things that

596
00:35:55,960 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 1: is not that important. At the time, it seems important,

597
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:04,239
Speaker 1: but later you realize it was not important. The most

598
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:09,080
Speaker 1: important thing is spending time with your family and friends

599
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 1: and doing good things for people that need help, and

600
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:16,680
Speaker 1: that sort of thing, because there's always someone that's not

601
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:17,839
Speaker 1: as well off as you.

602
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:22,680
Speaker 2: Those are very meaningful things and things I think we

603
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 2: all know, but is always a good reminder to have. Yeah,

604
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,360
Speaker 2: and I don't want to leave this without asking you to,

605
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:32,840
Speaker 2: because you had mentioned now that you and your husband

606
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:36,400
Speaker 2: are in separate places. What's that been like for you?

607
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:40,960
Speaker 1: Well, it was very difficult, and at times I have

608
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:47,000
Speaker 1: it's difficult to try to go visit him because he

609
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:54,320
Speaker 1: doesn't remember anything except sometimes he remembers things that happened

610
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:59,279
Speaker 1: when he was a child. At times he doesn't remember me.

611
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:07,759
Speaker 1: He remembers Margaret, but sometimes he doesn't realize I'm Margaret.

612
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 1: He knows he was married to Margaret, but he sometimes

613
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 1: doesn't fit all of that in and he has a

614
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:19,319
Speaker 1: hard time with finding words that you know, that he

615
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 1: wants to use, and sometimes his words are just jumble.

616
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:30,600
Speaker 1: And it's really cruel what the disease does to people.

617
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:35,279
Speaker 1: I mean, like I still have my memories of the

618
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:39,240
Speaker 1: children when they were kids and growing up. I still

619
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:45,000
Speaker 1: have memories of my childhood, but he doesn't have that,

620
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 1: so it's hard.

621
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:00,879
Speaker 2: Well, I just want to give you a big hug

622
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 2: right now, because I can only imagine that separation of

623
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 2: somebody that you've been with your entire life, and you

624
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 2: shared a very full life with him, and it's one

625
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 2: you hope that they can always remember.

626
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:21,840
Speaker 1: Well, it hurts. I mean, he may not know that

627
00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:24,839
Speaker 1: he's going through it, but I know.

628
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:29,280
Speaker 2: And to witness and to see it is a different

629
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:33,440
Speaker 2: pain all in itself. Yeah, it's different types of grief

630
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 2: and it's you know, I never want people to have

631
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:40,279
Speaker 2: to talk about it. But it is something that it's

632
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:43,759
Speaker 2: just so common that I wish more people would see

633
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:46,000
Speaker 2: that other people are going through it, and it makes

634
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 2: it maybe easier for you guys who are having to

635
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:52,719
Speaker 2: face that reality. It's something I wish didn't exist. That's

636
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:53,719
Speaker 2: the reality for me.

637
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 1: Well, I think at this point it's harder on me

638
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:01,160
Speaker 1: than it is on him. Yeah.

639
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, again, you're the witness, right, and you can't do anything.

640
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:07,400
Speaker 2: You just have to be there and love them and

641
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 2: show up however you can.

642
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 1: Right, And I tried to be wherever he is when

643
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,359
Speaker 1: we visit. I tried to you know, that's what we

644
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:18,920
Speaker 1: talk about and that's what we do.

645
00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:24,880
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, Margaret, you are a beautiful human being. You

646
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:29,080
Speaker 2: don't look a day over fifty. I'm not sure how

647
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:32,120
Speaker 2: the heck you're ninety three years old and you shared

648
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 2: so much wisdom and vulnerability with us, And I'm internally

649
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:38,720
Speaker 2: grateful for that because I know your message, your story

650
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:43,480
Speaker 2: is important, and I just love all that you've embodied

651
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 2: in your life and I appreciate you taking us through it.

652
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 1: Thank you.

653
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:50,240
Speaker 2: Abes Garden Community is a local treasure here in Nashville,

654
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:53,640
Speaker 2: doing amazing work caring for and engaging people living with

655
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,800
Speaker 2: memory loss. Much like you just heard Margaret talking about

656
00:39:56,920 --> 00:40:00,080
Speaker 2: not just her husband Balsa for herself. They're expanding to

657
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,359
Speaker 2: help even more families and they rely on support from

658
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 2: people like us. We all have aging brains, so supporting

659
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:07,440
Speaker 2: Abe's Garden benefits us all. And if you're interested in

660
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 2: learning more on how to help, you can do so

661
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:12,239
Speaker 2: at Abesgarden dot org. That wraps for this week, and

662
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 2: I'm excited to bring you guys Backsey's story next week,

663
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:18,400
Speaker 2: so make sure you subscribe so you do not miss it,

664
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:21,600
Speaker 2: and of course follow the podcast on Instagram at take

665
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:23,919
Speaker 2: this Personally, I'm so happy that you're here. I'll talk

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00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:25,240
Speaker 2: to you guys next week. Bye,