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Speaker 1: Hey, lady, is doctor dom here. If you like this

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Speaker 1: show and you want to make your own, let me

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Speaker 1: Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor dot

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Speaker 1: fm to get started.

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Speaker 2: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 3: You should never not be the leader of your birth

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Speaker 3: and in control of what happens to your body and

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Speaker 3: your baby.

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Speaker 2: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration,

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Speaker 2: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments

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Speaker 2: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a

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Speaker 2: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also,

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Speaker 2: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe

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Speaker 2: on iTunes and visit cultivatingheirspace dot com to access our

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Speaker 2: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 1: women like you.

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Speaker 2: We're your hosts.

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Speaker 1: Doctor Dominique Bussard, a college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 4: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 4: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 4: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 4: fibroids to fake friends and create a safe space where

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Speaker 4: black women can just be.

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Speaker 1: Hey, lady, it's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her

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Speaker 1: Space podcast. Are you currently a resident of the state

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Speaker 1: of California and contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so,

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Speaker 1: please reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.

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Speaker 1: That's d R D O M I n I q

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Speaker 1: U E b R O U ss ar D dot

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Speaker 1: com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation.

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Speaker 5: I look forward to hearing from.

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Speaker 2: You, lady.

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Speaker 4: Today, we have a very special guest in Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 4: Not only does she have a beautiful and contagious smile,

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Speaker 4: but she is doing powerful work that can impact generations

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Speaker 4: to come. Courtney Stalworth is a maternal newborn nurse, lactation

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Speaker 4: specialist and founder of the Equipped Mama, where she provides

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Speaker 4: women of color a clear path for retrieving trauma free

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Speaker 4: births and bonding breastfeeding experiences with their babies without having

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Speaker 4: the fear of maternal death or lactation felt. Courtney is

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Speaker 4: also a first generation home birth and breastfeeding mother too,

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Speaker 4: and through her personal and professional experiences, she has created

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Speaker 4: the Equipped to Birth and Your Breast Start to Lactation

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Speaker 4: courses along with the Melanated Milkies Club, through which she

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Speaker 4: has guided one hundred plus women of color to be

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Speaker 4: able to show up as the leader of their birth

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Speaker 4: experiences and breastfeeding journeys. Courtney, welcome to cultivating her space.

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Speaker 6: Lady, thank you. I'm so glad to be here with you.

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Speaker 2: Guys, we are so excited to have you.

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Speaker 1: Yes, we are looking forward to this conversation. And so Courtney,

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Speaker 1: we are going to start off with our quote of

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Speaker 1: the day. And these words will sound really familiar to

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Speaker 1: you because these are your own. We stop your social

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Speaker 1: media and you know, we find, we go with and

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Speaker 1: we find the things right.

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Speaker 6: So our quote of the day.

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Speaker 1: At point you have to stop prioritizing your busy day

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Speaker 1: and start prioritizing your health. And I'm gonna say that

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Speaker 1: one more time for all of us.

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Speaker 5: Because we all need to hear at some point you.

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Speaker 1: Have to stop prioritizing your busy day and start prioritizing

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Speaker 1: your health. Courtney, when you wrote that quote, what was

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Speaker 1: happening for you in your life at that moment that

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Speaker 1: inspired this particular quote.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So, one of the greatest things about what I do

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Speaker 3: is I get to interact and meet with so many

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Speaker 3: different women, and I exclusively work with women of color,

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Speaker 3: but just in that there's so many different walks of

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Speaker 3: life that we go through, right, And one of the

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Speaker 3: things that I encounter a lot of the times with

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Speaker 3: the women that you know speak with me and really

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Speaker 3: wanting to know what do I need to do to

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Speaker 3: get ready for birth, like I don't even know where

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Speaker 3: to start, or a lot of times they've played doctor

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Speaker 3: Google so much they don't know what action to take

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Speaker 3: with all the information. And I always ask them, you know,

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Speaker 3: I tell them when they are wanting to enroll in

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Speaker 3: my program, it's going to be the next six weeks,

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Speaker 3: you and I we're going to really be working out

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Speaker 3: our birth plan and our breastfeeding plan.

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Speaker 6: And I let them know it's not a large time commitment.

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Speaker 3: But I always kind of get that, well, you know,

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Speaker 3: such and such as wedding is coming up, or oh, man,

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Speaker 3: we're planning the baby shower, or man, I don't know.

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Speaker 6: It's always something to do with the schedule.

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Speaker 3: And even though the baby's on their own schedule right

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Speaker 3: I find it that so many women don't recognize the

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Speaker 3: value and the importance of really prioritizing your preparation and

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Speaker 3: prioritizing you right now, because ultimately, when that baby is

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Speaker 3: ready to home, that busy schedule ain't gonna be what's

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Speaker 3: got you prepared. It's not going to be the baby

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Speaker 3: shower that's going to have your body ready to breathe

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Speaker 3: your baby out. It's not going to be any of

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Speaker 3: those people that just cannot wait to take a picture

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Speaker 3: with your boom. There's going to be there when you're

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Speaker 3: up through the night having to breastfeed. So really prioritizing

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Speaker 3: you and taking care of you to position yourself to

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Speaker 3: have the smoothest birth and the support that you need

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Speaker 3: prior after the birth is so important. But there's just

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Speaker 3: a big lack in the prioritization of preparation. And so

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Speaker 3: that's where I was coming from when I made that post.

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Speaker 3: All of my posts come from inspirations the conversations that

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Speaker 3: I have with many of the women, whether they are

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Speaker 3: clients or their member prospects, or just people that reach

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Speaker 3: out on any of my social media platforms.

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Speaker 6: They're always inspired from those conversations.

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Speaker 4: That is a beautiful quote. I'm just taking it in

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Speaker 4: because it resonates so deeply. But that was a really

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Speaker 4: good point that you made about prioritizing preparation. And I

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Speaker 4: would love to know what is your origin story, like

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Speaker 4: what made you start on this journey in the first place.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So my background is maternal newborn nursing, summer registered

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Speaker 3: nurse by trade and lactation specialists. So I have spent

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Speaker 3: eight plus years working as a bedside nurse until last

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Speaker 3: year when I decided to take my nursing practice from

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Speaker 3: the bedside straight to the heart of the community. As

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Speaker 3: we know, twenty twenty was quite rough on us in

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Speaker 3: many different ways, and that there was no difference with

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Speaker 3: that when it came to the health outcomes of black

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Speaker 3: and brown women especially. We just were short staff. There

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Speaker 3: was social distancing, lactation personnel weren't doing hands on support.

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Speaker 3: So how do you help a woman with breastfeeding in

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Speaker 3: the hospital from the hallway, you know, especially someone that

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Speaker 3: has had no prior prenatal breastfeeding courses or information right,

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Speaker 3: and so things just.

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Speaker 6: Got really bad.

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Speaker 3: It got really bad, and it's emotionally tasking as someone

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Speaker 3: as much as I am an educator.

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Speaker 6: At heart, nurses are educators, and I just.

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Speaker 3: Got tired of coming to work every day and just

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Speaker 3: feeling like, in a sense, I just felt like I'm

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Speaker 3: failing them because by the time they get by the

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Speaker 3: time you get to the hospital and you've done no preparation,

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Speaker 3: you don't know your options, you don't know what to request,

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Speaker 3: you don't know what to require. Even the best of

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Speaker 3: the best nurse cannot make up for that time. We can't.

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Speaker 3: And so it just got draining, and I just said enough,

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Speaker 3: like I want to work with women that look like

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Speaker 3: me to have better health outcomes, to have better birds.

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Speaker 3: Because yes, some women might come out and have vaginal birds,

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Speaker 3: and that's fine, a lot of women do not, especially

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Speaker 3: black and brown women. We are the highest for the

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Speaker 3: cesarean rates, and just in general, one in three women

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Speaker 3: that come through the door in the hospital is going

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Speaker 3: to have a C section, one in three, and so

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Speaker 3: all of that comes in a lot of times is

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Speaker 3: because of preventative measures that could have been done in

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Speaker 3: the forefront, had they prepared their bodies, had they known

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Speaker 3: more of what to expect, how to handle and manage

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Speaker 3: their labor and work with their body, versus feeling as

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Speaker 3: though their body is working against them. So I wanted

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Speaker 3: to present a way for us to really get knowledgeable

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Speaker 3: and empowered, and most importantly, to ensure that we are heard.

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Speaker 3: That has been one of the biggest trends. And I'm

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Speaker 3: sure y'all have seen online several times that black women

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Speaker 3: are not being listened to. And I think that that

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Speaker 3: came from I know personally firsthand, and a lot of

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Speaker 3: the patients would be so relieved and I would walk

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Speaker 3: in because I look like them, and it's just another

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Speaker 3: level of comfort.

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Speaker 6: But I can't be.

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Speaker 3: Every black person's nurse, right, somebody's got to get another nurse,

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Speaker 3: another staff, And you got to be prepared that whoever,

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Speaker 3: regardless of who's on your team, that you are able

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Speaker 3: to lead them through your birth. You are the leader

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Speaker 3: of your birth. Nobody has that direct communication with your

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Speaker 3: body but you. No one's been with you the longest

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Speaker 3: but you. And so many times we find that women think,

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Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I don't have a doctor. I'm not

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Speaker 3: a doctor. I've never birth. No, but you've been with

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Speaker 3: you for how long? Versus that doctor and even the

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Speaker 3: doctors that you love. I get this all the time.

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Speaker 3: I love my doctor, though, how do you love them?

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Speaker 3: And you spent ten minutes with them once a month?

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Speaker 3: How does that happen? You spend more time than me

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Speaker 3: as your nerves, getting your vitals, getting you checked in,

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Speaker 3: having your set and getting all the information to do

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Speaker 3: a quick update. How do you love them? I mean,

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Speaker 3: you can love a person, don't get me wrong, but

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Speaker 3: I'm saying, like to have that level, there's always says,

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Speaker 3: oh they're great, they got me, they know everything.

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Speaker 6: You should never.

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Speaker 3: Not be the leader of your birth and in control

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Speaker 3: of what happens to your body and your baby. So

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Speaker 3: that's what I wanted to change. I wanted to present

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Speaker 3: an easy, simplified way to empower women of color with knowledge,

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Speaker 3: empower them with the communication tools that.

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Speaker 6: They need to navigate.

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Speaker 3: When we do need to pivot and shift in birth,

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Speaker 3: so that things don't just start happening fast. I hear

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Speaker 3: that so much on these stories, like it just happened

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Speaker 3: so fast. Well, let's slow it down. I'm gonna show

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Speaker 3: you how to slow it down. So that's where I

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Speaker 3: came from and wanting to start the equipped Mamas itself.

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Speaker 3: I started with one on one clientele and then I

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Speaker 3: just noticed there was such a need for the breastfeeding

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Speaker 3: mamas to connect with other black breastfeeding women.

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Speaker 6: A lot of people know.

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Speaker 3: It took me to hus in my twenties to see

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Speaker 3: a black woman breastfeeding, and then it took me even

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Speaker 3: longer to see a black woman birthing naturally at home.

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Speaker 3: I didn't even know that that was a thing. And

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Speaker 3: so when I saw it and shout outs to you

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Speaker 3: that with belief in fatherhood, and I've actually grown to

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Speaker 3: know her because she knows who she is to me,

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Speaker 3: that sparked the interest in me, like, wow, that's not

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Speaker 3: what we're trained in school for. I have never seeing

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Speaker 3: such an empowered, hands off birth.

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Speaker 6: That just happened.

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Speaker 3: It just naturally happened. She was supported, she was knowledgeable,

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Speaker 3: and she was in control of guiding her baby out safely.

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Speaker 3: And that just stuck with me and I that just

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Speaker 3: lit a fires, like everyone needs to know about this.

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Speaker 3: There's options out here, so many options for us.

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Speaker 2: That's so powerful Okay, go ahead.

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Speaker 6: With them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, listen, I don't even I have never birthed any children.

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Speaker 1: But there were a lot of things that came up

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Speaker 1: for me as I was listening to you, right, So

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Speaker 1: one of the things that really came up for me is,

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Speaker 1: I'm listening is about the empowerment piece of making sure

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Speaker 1: that we understand.

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Speaker 5: That we are the leaders of our bodies.

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Speaker 1: I love that so much, because oftentimes we are taught

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Speaker 1: or socialized to and treated as if we don't know

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Speaker 1: our bodies and as if we don't know ourselves. And

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Speaker 1: I love that that that's your focus, right, is that's

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Speaker 1: getting women.

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Speaker 5: To understand that.

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Speaker 1: Now, that doctor that you spend ten minutes with may

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Speaker 1: have like some of the book knowledge, but even that

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Speaker 1: book knowledge is faulty, and some of it is based

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Speaker 1: in white supremacy and not really understanding the experience of

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Speaker 1: women of color, particularly black women, and so so Corneias,

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Speaker 1: you are thinking about how you grew your vision and

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Speaker 1: how you have been working with so many women, would

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Speaker 1: you mind sharing with us your experience with learning to breastfeed,

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Speaker 1: and because you talked about like in the high hospital,

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Speaker 1: not knowing or not knowing previously about natural births or

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Speaker 1: home birds, and so what has been your personal experience

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Speaker 1: with this journey of breastfeeding and home birds and alternatives

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Speaker 1: to working in the hospital. And I know that was

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Speaker 1: a mouthful, so let me know if I got to

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Speaker 1: repeat anything.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely so, I think if I heard you clearly,

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Speaker 3: my experience with breastfeeding was it was beautiful, and it's

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Speaker 3: been beautiful. I'm still a breastfeeding mama. The little background,

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Speaker 3: I've had two babies in the past two years, so

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Speaker 3: my second was definitely a little surprised, love Buck, but

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Speaker 3: I have both of them right here in my home.

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Speaker 3: It was just afterwards seeing them and knowing that I

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Speaker 3: can nourish and heal and comfort my baby with my

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Speaker 3: body that got created. You can't give me a sh

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Speaker 3: stronger superpower.

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Speaker 6: And that is something that I hold.

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Speaker 3: So dearly to me and I love when I get

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Speaker 3: to see other women that always they feel like there's

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Speaker 3: this thing that no woman really wants to say, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I want.

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Speaker 6: A breastfeed for twelve plus months.

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Speaker 3: It's almost like a fear, is what I find when

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Speaker 3: I ask women, what is your goals? What would you

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Speaker 3: like me to help you reach? Because that's the very

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Speaker 3: first thing if you don't come into it with your

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Speaker 3: mindset committed. I am a huge mindset birth and breastfeeding coach.

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Speaker 3: All the women in the tribe will tell you that

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Speaker 3: I am all about the mindset because our minds are

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Speaker 3: such a powerful thing. Birth and breastfeeding are ninety percent mental,

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Speaker 3: ten percent physical. And so for me, in breastfeeding with

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Speaker 3: my children, I had very.

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Speaker 6: Uneventful but of course.

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Speaker 3: I am a lactation specialist, so I didn't really have

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Speaker 3: many hurdles or complications, you know, nothing too significant. My

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Speaker 3: daughter did end up having some oral tethered tongue tissue,

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Speaker 3: so we did have to get her tongue tied revision done. However,

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Speaker 3: that was a fantastic experience and one of the things

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Speaker 3: that I always teach the women in the course is

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Speaker 3: to have a go time ready list, and that is

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Speaker 3: your first and second string team members. A lot of

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Speaker 3: people remember the first your doctor, maybe a doula, you know,

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Speaker 3: your midwife. But the second string is so powerful and

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Speaker 3: one of those people on that list is going to

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Speaker 3: be a pediatric or duntists, like a pediatric dentist that

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Speaker 3: actually does specialize in tethered oral tissues, or maybe a

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Speaker 3: myofacial biologist, oral facial Oh my gosh, I am bleaking

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Speaker 3: right now. Oral facial myologists. There goes. They are specialized

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Speaker 3: in that as well. And you want to have these

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Speaker 3: people already picked out in your area so when the

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Speaker 3: time comes and your baby is needing that milk and

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Speaker 3: needing to get that tissue released, you're not having to

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Speaker 3: stumble and fumble and play doctor Google. But you already

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Speaker 3: have your list ready, the number ready, and you can

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Speaker 3: get right in with them so that you can get

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Speaker 3: back to breastfeeding. Because time is milk. That's my saying.

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Speaker 3: Time is milk. Either making it or you're decreasing it,

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Speaker 3: So we want to stay on the positive side. But yeah,

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Speaker 3: outside of that, I really had a just I've been

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Speaker 3: having a wonderful journey with my daughter. This is the

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Speaker 3: longest I've breastfed. I breastfed up to one year with

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Speaker 3: my son, but I was also pregnant for like five

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Speaker 3: months with him.

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Speaker 6: So I said, okay, one year, we're stopping right here.

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Speaker 3: But my daughter, I am not expecting, so she just

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Speaker 3: turned one this month and I don't know when we'll

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Speaker 3: be stopping, So we'll figure that out together. I always

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Speaker 3: say I'm going to breastfeed for at least a year,

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Speaker 3: and then we're going to see what our relationship looks like.

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Speaker 3: What are our needs And right now our needs are

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Speaker 3: being met with each other. So I don't see a

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Speaker 3: stopping sound.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's so beautiful and so amazing.

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Speaker 4: I'm so happy that we have women like you and

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Speaker 4: the world that are doing this work. I am seven

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Speaker 4: months postpart recording and so thinking about my doula and

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Speaker 4: my birth teine like that has been so crucial for

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Speaker 4: the journey. So knowing that women have someone like you

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Speaker 4: is just so it just makes me so happy. If

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Speaker 4: you had a name, like five misconceptions that women of color,

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Speaker 4: you know, and black women have about birth and breastfeeding,

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Speaker 4: what have they been based on your experience, so that

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Speaker 4: we can maybe, you know, demystify some of those misconceptions.

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Speaker 3: Now, one is that some people are just lucky and

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Speaker 3: can breastfeed and others just aren't. I think that's a

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Speaker 3: very big myth. It is very rare that it is

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Speaker 3: a physical ailment that prevents a woman from breastfeeding, and

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Speaker 3: I think that the last study that I looked at,

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Speaker 3: I think it's less than three percent and and Actually

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Speaker 3: the biggest cause is fear, and I made a post

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Speaker 3: about it.

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Speaker 6: When I saw that study, I was.

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Speaker 3: Like, Wow, the biggest leading cause of breastfeeding failure is

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Speaker 3: actually fear. Fear of not making enough, fear of not

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Speaker 3: going to be able to make enough, fear of not

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Speaker 3: doing it right, fear of missing out on an easier road,

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Speaker 3: another path of bottle or something, which we bring me

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Speaker 3: to my second myth that bottle feeding get is easier

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Speaker 3: than breastfeeding. What a lot of women don't realize is

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Speaker 3: when you breastfeed, yes, through the night, they're waking up

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Speaker 3: every about two to three hours in the beginning to nurse.

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Speaker 3: You wake up, you pop your baby on the breast,

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Speaker 3: you burk your baby, You put them back to sleep,

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Speaker 3: and you go back to sleep. When you bottle feed,

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Speaker 3: you get up. You gotta measure the formula, measure the

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Speaker 3: sterile water, warm it up, shake it up, come feed

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Speaker 3: the baby, burk them. Then you got bottles. You need

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Speaker 3: to be cleaning nipples. You gotta wash, you gotta sterilize

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Speaker 3: those bottles. You do not save more time with actually

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Speaker 3: bottle feeding over breast and oop, there goes three.

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Speaker 6: The third thing tied with that is.

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Speaker 3: The myth that formula makes babies sleep longer than breast milk.

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Speaker 3: That's actually not accurate. There is nothing that shows statistically

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Speaker 3: that giving formula over breast milk actually makes them sleep longer. Now,

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Speaker 3: what we do you know, is that dairy based cal

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Speaker 3: formula is harder for the baby's digestive system, and so

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Speaker 3: therefore it does slowly go down slower. But that's not

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Speaker 3: always linked to sleep because a lot of babies have

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Speaker 3: digestive issues, reflex issues, colic associated with actually the use

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Speaker 3: of formula. So when we really look at it, you're

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Speaker 3: not getting more sleep because of formula. That comes more

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Speaker 3: so with that number fixation that mothers like to see.

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Speaker 3: I know exactly how much my baby is getting in

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Speaker 3: the bottle. I don't know how much they're getting through

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Speaker 3: the milk through my breast because they're just on there, right,

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Speaker 3: So then you have to trust your intuition versus man

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Speaker 3: made numbers. Right, you have to trust your body. So

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Speaker 3: the next myth, let me switch over to kind of

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Speaker 3: the birth side of this. One of the birth things

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Speaker 3: I would say is the myth that labor is going

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Speaker 3: to be like in the movies. In fact, when we

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Speaker 3: see in the movies, it is always this quick, fast,

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Speaker 3: take over your body.

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Speaker 6: Woman in the bed legs up to her to her breast.

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Speaker 3: Daddy might be holding the thigh, someone's coaching her, telling

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Speaker 3: her push pushing. Let me just I'm really living it

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Speaker 3: out because you know, push push, push push, and that

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Speaker 3: this is normal birth, that's a myth. That is someone

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Speaker 3: laboring you and someone delivering you. That is not a

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Speaker 3: supported birth. And that's what a natural birth is. A

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Speaker 3: natural birth happens in ebbs and flows. It has peaks

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Speaker 3: and intensities, but periods of rest. And you don't get

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Speaker 3: that same type of experience when you have an induction

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Speaker 3: lad birth or one where you have epidural in your

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Speaker 3: communication system within your body has been disrupted, because then

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Speaker 3: you do need someone to tell you how to push

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Speaker 3: out your baby at that point. So the myth that

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Speaker 3: birth looks like in the movies, that is not a

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Speaker 3: natural birth.

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Speaker 6: That is not what it looks like.

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Speaker 3: And then the last myth, the myth that you cannot

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Speaker 3: prepare your body to not tear from front to back.

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Speaker 3: And that is my tear free birth guy that I

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Speaker 3: do talk about. That is the hashtag tear free birth

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Speaker 3: method that is something that is heavily overlooked, and I

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Speaker 3: think that most people associate. So this is really the

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Speaker 3: myth that keegels is the way you prepare your body

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Speaker 3: for birth.

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Speaker 6: That is wrong.

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Speaker 3: And if you're doing a ton of keegels out there

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Speaker 3: listening to me right now, please stop.

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Speaker 6: Because if we think.

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Speaker 3: About our pelvic floor, that is something that holds up

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Speaker 3: our intestines, in our organs, and when we're walking, just

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Speaker 3: think about gravity. Right, it's already tense and holding everything

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Speaker 3: in place because that povic floors like a hammock almost.

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Speaker 3: So you're sitting there tensing up a muscle that's already

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Speaker 3: tense majority of the day, when instead, what you really

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Speaker 3: need to be doing is exercises that relax and elongate

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Speaker 3: that muscle, not doing a ton of kegels, because guess what,

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Speaker 3: when that baby needs to come down and you need

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Speaker 3: to be able to mintle relax that muscle, you can't

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Speaker 3: because you've tensed up so much. It's like doing curls.

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Speaker 3: And then that one muscle you don'et got like, you

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Speaker 3: ain't gonna be able to put the marns down. You're

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Speaker 3: gonna be like Ben Diesel walking around. That's what you're

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Speaker 3: doing to your vagina, So we don't want that. You

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Speaker 3: need to not do away with the keegels. You want

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Speaker 3: to do the exercises nice deep, long seated spots is

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Speaker 3: one of the three things that I normally tell women

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Speaker 3: to do because that's going to open up that pelvic floor,

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Speaker 3: stretch it, relax it, and it's gonna take that pressure

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Speaker 3: off where you need it to.

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Speaker 6: So the myth.

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Speaker 3: Don't be doing a ton of keegels. I think I

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Speaker 3: hit five? Did I hit five?

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Speaker 2: Ladies? But those were amazing? Yes, so good, thank you?

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Speaker 1: Yes, that makes the one about the keegels makes perfect sense.

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Speaker 1: Like when you explain it, I'm like, huh.

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Speaker 5: Well, how did people? How are we believe in this

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Speaker 5: in the first place?

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Speaker 1: Because the way you explain it like makes so much

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00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 1: sense to me why we should not believe it? Right?

440
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:08,119
Speaker 1: So I want to go back because you mentioned that

441
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:12,119
Speaker 1: your daughter had to be and I don't remember the

442
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 1: exact word, and so that's why I wanted to go back,

443
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:16,920
Speaker 1: because I know that there's someone else out there listening

444
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:23,159
Speaker 1: who didn't understand and wants a deeper explanation around what

445
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:27,720
Speaker 1: does that mean when your daughter was having difficulties with breastfeeding.

446
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 6: Absolutely so with tongue time.

447
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 3: I think most people have heard of tongue time, but

448
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 3: they don't really know, like, well, how do you know

449
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:37,119
Speaker 3: if they have it or not?

450
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:39,680
Speaker 6: Well, your nipples are going to tell you.

451
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 3: As soon as she was born, and I put her, well,

452
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:45,160
Speaker 3: not as soon as she was born.

453
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,160
Speaker 6: She was born in the birth pull in our home.

454
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:48,879
Speaker 6: So we moved on to the bed.

455
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:50,879
Speaker 3: But when we got into bed, I got there to

456
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:54,440
Speaker 3: latching her, I noticed that I wasn't able to get

457
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:56,399
Speaker 3: as deep of a latch as I'd like, And it

458
00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 3: feels a little pinchy, and I pinch slowly started to increase,

459
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:03,959
Speaker 3: increase in intensity and become very painful fast.

460
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,720
Speaker 6: And I knew after about.

461
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 3: That second feeding, I looked in her mouth and did

462
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 3: her assessment in that tongue she couldn't lift it all

463
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:16,080
Speaker 3: the way up because her tongue, that frmulum underneath it

464
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,359
Speaker 3: was so tight, so tight. And the problem with that

465
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,680
Speaker 3: is I always like to describe it for my clients

466
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 3: as someone imagine trying to drink water and someone holding

467
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:30,159
Speaker 3: your tongue down, Like how challenging it is. That's how

468
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 3: it feels for them when their tongue is restricted and

469
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:36,800
Speaker 3: it cannot manipulate things in their mouth, especially especially your

470
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:38,960
Speaker 3: breast like they need to be able to.

471
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 6: So some people actually have tongue ties as adults.

472
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,159
Speaker 3: If you ever hear people kind of talk with a

473
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,920
Speaker 3: list a little bit because they don't have the full

474
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:50,640
Speaker 3: oral functionings in their mouth, but likely they weren't breastfit

475
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:54,119
Speaker 3: because that's usually the only babies that we know. It

476
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,640
Speaker 3: kind of like signals it earlier because we need them

477
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,359
Speaker 3: to actually use their mouth sooner. So that's how I

478
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:03,239
Speaker 3: knew that my dog, it was very uncomfortable. So I

479
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,680
Speaker 3: got her in to get assessed, and of course she

480
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,119
Speaker 3: had the tie, and so we have to get that

481
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 3: released and do the exercises.

482
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 6: Ah, that's a whole other thing.

483
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,159
Speaker 3: Please go to a specialist in this area, and not

484
00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:18,919
Speaker 3: just the pediatrician that says, yes, I can snip that

485
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:19,400
Speaker 3: for you.

486
00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 6: Just don't do it. Don't do it.

487
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:25,639
Speaker 4: You are dropping so many gems that I know. This

488
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,240
Speaker 4: is so helpful for many mamas. There's so much that

489
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:29,880
Speaker 4: we can talk about. But I want to go back

490
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 4: into the birth because I know that there may be

491
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,960
Speaker 4: other women that are listening and they're like, well, I

492
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:36,440
Speaker 4: want to have a home birth too, Like I don't

493
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,879
Speaker 4: trust these doctors, and especially with everything going on in

494
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 4: the world, I want to do this at home. What

495
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 4: resources and services and strategies and tips can you offer

496
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:48,560
Speaker 4: for that woman that is going to get birth tune

497
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,239
Speaker 4: and she wants to be at home, she wants to

498
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,920
Speaker 4: do it in her own space and be the leader

499
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 4: of her experience and be empowered.

500
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 2: What recommendations do you have for her?

501
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:01,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean absolutely, I would say, hands down, you

502
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 3: should reach out to join the Mamnated Milkie's Club. My

503
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:09,960
Speaker 3: program is designed to not only prepare you for your

504
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 3: birth and a couple weeks after your baby's here, but

505
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:16,080
Speaker 3: it actually gives each members an entire year with me

506
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:20,200
Speaker 3: to have breastfeeding and postpartum support, so that's unlimited. They

507
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,680
Speaker 3: get access to the Latch Lounge, which is my breastfeeding

508
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:26,080
Speaker 3: coaching group sessions, and afterwards that's where the women they

509
00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 3: hang out and connect because it is like none other

510
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:31,920
Speaker 3: to have a community of women of color that are

511
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 3: in the same similar season of life as you to

512
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:38,159
Speaker 3: lean on, to laugh with, to celebrate you through the

513
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 3: good times, but also to pray with you through the

514
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 3: hard So it is a Christian organization based we are

515
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:47,479
Speaker 3: it is just fantastic those women make it.

516
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,640
Speaker 6: But to let it be known. As far as the

517
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 6: birth preparation, we go hand in hand.

518
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 3: When our members join, we have a it is in

519
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,080
Speaker 3: by only community, just because we want to only make

520
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:00,680
Speaker 3: sure that women that are joining are really wanting their

521
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 3: best and holistic birth, not to mean that it has

522
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,200
Speaker 3: to be natural. Doesn't mean you got a birth at home.

523
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:08,199
Speaker 3: Because actually the way that I prepare each woman for

524
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 3: their birth and getting them eclipped is for them to

525
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:14,120
Speaker 3: be empowered regardless of where they birth, regardless of who

526
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:16,439
Speaker 3: is on their team, but that they can stand strong

527
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:19,400
Speaker 3: and in control every step of the way wherever their

528
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 3: birth journey takes them.

529
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 6: I want them to be eclipped and.

530
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 3: That's what we work on together and really them and

531
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:28,240
Speaker 3: their partners, let me say the Daddy's in the tribe

532
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 3: when they come through in the birth coaching sessions, it's

533
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:32,200
Speaker 3: a good time.

534
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:34,719
Speaker 6: I actually host workshops.

535
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,960
Speaker 3: That the members get to join in on, and one

536
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,520
Speaker 3: of them is the Daddy Dealer Prep Workshop that we

537
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:43,480
Speaker 3: do live that is hosted by me and my husband

538
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 3: and who he has been my support partner through each

539
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 3: of our home birds. And so it's so cool to

540
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 3: be able to have a man's perspective with the dads

541
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 3: that they get to tap into. But it's so important

542
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:59,080
Speaker 3: to get the dads on the same page as you.

543
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 3: I think that's should have been one of my myths.

544
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:03,200
Speaker 3: The daddies just need to hold a thigh and that's

545
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,000
Speaker 3: how they're usually treated, but not in this job. If

546
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 3: they need to be just as knowledgeable and prepared to

547
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 3: advocate for you as you because at the end of

548
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 3: the day, that's who's going to be with you from

549
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 3: the very start to end. And so they are definitely

550
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 3: taught how to manage what I call the areas of control,

551
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 3: and mama has her own areas of control, so they

552
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 3: are a powerhouse together. But that would be my resource

553
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 3: you really want to of course, also we talk about

554
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 3: the prenatal lactation, knowing the core foundations of breastfeeding before

555
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:38,840
Speaker 3: your baby is here angry and impatient, you want to

556
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 3: know how to you be the learner because there's two

557
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 3: people learning. How do you get a nice deep blatch,

558
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 3: how do you promote an abundant milk supply, and most importantly,

559
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,160
Speaker 3: how did I do the main things that I see

560
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 3: time and time again that women are doing that hinders

561
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 3: their milk on coming in. And so that's what we

562
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 3: talk about. We make a lactation roadmap so that you're

563
00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 3: knowledgeable every step of the way before your baby's even here.

564
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:04,440
Speaker 3: And that way we can build on that together because

565
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 3: we need support. Our system set up the way it

566
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 3: is here is just not enough. A couple of weeks

567
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 3: postpartum is not enough for a woman that just spent

568
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 3: a whole ten months growing this baby and then has

569
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 3: to heal after this baby and then expect it to

570
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 3: be okay after like what two to six weeks. So

571
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 3: that is the Malanated Milkies Club. Come one, come all.

572
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:27,400
Speaker 3: It is exclusive to women of color that are twenty

573
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 3: plus weeks pregnant.

574
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 4: That is incredible, all right, ladies, Wolf at the Lincoln

575
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 4: the show notes, you can get your life.

576
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 2: Go ahead.

577
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,600
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not even I don't have any kids,

578
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:43,800
Speaker 1: and I'm over here like this tribe just sounds like amazing,

579
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:45,880
Speaker 1: Like I was. You had me in when you were

580
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: like women who were in the same space as you

581
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 1: and are just lifting you up, supporting one another.

582
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:57,040
Speaker 5: I was like, yeah, yeah, let me be a part two.

583
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 1: So what I mean one of the things that often

584
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 1: comes up for new moms is and moms at any stage,

585
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 1: but it's particularly difficult for new moms. Can you talk

586
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:22,000
Speaker 1: to us about mommy guilt and mommy's shaming that sense

587
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:23,680
Speaker 1: that happen particularly around breastfeeding.

588
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:26,600
Speaker 6: The mom guilt is so real, man.

589
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:29,880
Speaker 3: I even find myself, you know, having to really renew

590
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 3: my mind and catch it once it's starting.

591
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 6: I think, you know, it always comes from a place of.

592
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 3: Deep desire wanting the best for our children, and that's

593
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 3: where the support system that you have is going to

594
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 3: be so invaluable to really hold a true mirror up

595
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 3: to you, because sometimes in motherhood, what I always kind

596
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 3: of just say is there's no grades in motherhood. You

597
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 3: don't get a report card telling you, oh, yeah you

598
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 3: got an a here home, be here with you know,

599
00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 3: keeping up with the laundry really might be lower, but

600
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 3: you're not noting like keeping your life together like all

601
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:07,040
Speaker 3: these things. Feeding your children something nutritious, making sure that

602
00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 3: they're getting out and enough socialization, making sure you're teaching

603
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:13,000
Speaker 3: them all of the fundamental milestones. It can get so

604
00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 3: easy to fall into this pitfall of feeling less than

605
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 3: or feeling as though you're not enough, and having a

606
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:22,480
Speaker 3: good support system to remind you of the truth about

607
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 3: who you are that is so invaluable. And that was

608
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 3: something that with my firstborn, and another part of where

609
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 3: I came up with the Monique Milky's Club was because

610
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:35,480
Speaker 3: I didn't have that with him. I wanted support with breastfeeding.

611
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:39,160
Speaker 3: I'm a first generation breastfeeding woman and my family. It

612
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 3: took a sharp turn from my family to get used

613
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 3: to seeing the breast out because I am an open feeder.

614
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 3: If you come to my home for sure, out and about,

615
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 3: you're probably gonna see me breastfeeding. If my child gets hungry,

616
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:54,960
Speaker 3: you know I'm feeding my child, and so you're either

617
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 3: gonna get with it or.

618
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:57,959
Speaker 6: You're gonna get with it. Those are the only two choices.

619
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 3: So you know, having through that, it would have been

620
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 3: so nice. I yearned to have other black women that

621
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:07,640
Speaker 3: understood where I was coming from. I've been in mom

622
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 3: groups around here.

623
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 6: I'm in Nashville, Tennessee.

624
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,719
Speaker 3: There are other mom groups and breastfeeding groups, but they

625
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 3: do not look like I am usually always one of

626
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:19,960
Speaker 3: maybe two out of maybe about twenty five thirty women.

627
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 3: And although you know, I love my sisters that are

628
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 3: not of melanin, but it is something to be said

629
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 3: to be able to connect with another woman that just

630
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 3: gets it.

631
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:32,320
Speaker 6: I don't have to understand.

632
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 3: I don't have to explain why it was so hard

633
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,719
Speaker 3: when someone my auntie says, you don't want to go

634
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 3: in the room. You know, I don't have to explain

635
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:44,600
Speaker 3: why it's just tiring sometimes to just feed my child.

636
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:47,840
Speaker 6: So I would say.

637
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 3: That the shaming, going back to what you asked me about,

638
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 3: you know, the shaming amongst mothers, that's a tough one.

639
00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 3: That's a tough one because I have such a I'm

640
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 3: not afraid to ask questions and the hard questions. And

641
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 3: sometimes really what I've learned is asking a person like

642
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:10,640
Speaker 3: why what makes you think that way?

643
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:14,880
Speaker 6: Like what led you to ask me that or that belief?

644
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 3: And I'm one of those who will definitely say, you know,

645
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:21,880
Speaker 3: that hurt my feelings the way that you worded that,

646
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:25,600
Speaker 3: and giving them the opportunity, I think, to kind of

647
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:27,439
Speaker 3: share where they're coming from, because a lot of times

648
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:31,760
Speaker 3: it's rooted in their own hurt, past traumas, their own

649
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 3: words that they say to themselves in their head, just

650
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 3: fewing out and so when I recognize that we are

651
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 3: all just women walking around carrying our own life lived experiences,

652
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:45,719
Speaker 3: we have to look at each other with the lens

653
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 3: of grace. So I really do think the mom shaming,

654
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:51,399
Speaker 3: I think it's always going to be there, right, We're

655
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:54,040
Speaker 3: all human. It's going to happen. I think it's the

656
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:58,080
Speaker 3: level of extension of grace afterwards and reconciling with each

657
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 3: other and really trying to mend the hurt that has

658
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 3: happened and not being afraid to address it.

659
00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 4: Thank you for touching on this. I know that comes

660
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 4: up a lot for the mamas. So you've dropped so

661
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 4: many gems. You've given us so much insight already. But now, Courtney,

662
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 4: we want to shift up the energy in the conversation.

663
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:23,439
Speaker 4: And because we recognize, appreciate, and celebrate the multi faceted woman,

664
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:27,239
Speaker 4: and we believe that it's okay to be bougie, classy

665
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:30,279
Speaker 4: and ratchet. You can still be elegant and dance to

666
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:33,880
Speaker 4: strip club music. We want to invite you too, the

667
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 4: oh you Blatchett segment, Courtney, So do you take on

668
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:37,959
Speaker 4: the challenge.

669
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:39,799
Speaker 6: Yes, let's do it.

670
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,440
Speaker 4: That's what we like to hear Okay. So now that

671
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 4: you've agreed, we're going to tell you what to expect.

672
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:48,719
Speaker 2: Okay, so we got it down. We got her. So

673
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:50,320
Speaker 2: we're going to ask you. We're going to ask you

674
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 2: three questions.

675
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,920
Speaker 4: We're going to share three sentence completions, and then we're

676
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:56,240
Speaker 4: going to close out by choosing or having you choose

677
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 4: one of three photos from your social media so that

678
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:01,319
Speaker 4: you can take a look at the photo and then

679
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,440
Speaker 4: provide a bit more context that we wouldn't know just

680
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:05,480
Speaker 4: by looking at the photo.

681
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:06,879
Speaker 2: So are you ready to go?

682
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:10,480
Speaker 6: I think so, let's do it, my girl.

683
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 4: The first question is what's the best piece of advice

684
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:16,320
Speaker 4: or wisdom you've ever received?

685
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:20,400
Speaker 3: I think you would have to be don't be afraid

686
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 3: to bet on you? And do I give more than

687
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:25,359
Speaker 3: that or do I just tell you this?

688
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 4: Yeah?

689
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 3: So that was something that I have a business coach

690
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,120
Speaker 3: and that has shared with me and said to me,

691
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:39,080
Speaker 3: don't be afraid to bet on you, because it was

692
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:43,120
Speaker 3: a hard decision to leave my secure job as a

693
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 3: bedside nurse to really bet on an area in my life,

694
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:51,920
Speaker 3: which is serving black women in preventative health. Essentially is

695
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:55,720
Speaker 3: what it is when the healthcare industry does not market,

696
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 3: They don't put it. I'm hardly in the advertisement towards

697
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:03,279
Speaker 3: black women because they deem us as not being like that.

698
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:06,440
Speaker 3: We don't care about our health until it's something wrong,

699
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,880
Speaker 3: so we don't even invest in preventative health. And so

700
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:11,759
Speaker 3: for me to take the leap and say, you know what,

701
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,480
Speaker 3: I'm going to build my business on a community that's

702
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 3: always counted out.

703
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:19,000
Speaker 6: On it as black women, it took me. You know,

704
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:20,719
Speaker 6: I had to really be a man. Am I doing this?

705
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:21,919
Speaker 6: Am I really leaving my job?

706
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,000
Speaker 3: And when she told me to don't be afraid to

707
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:28,399
Speaker 3: bet on you, it was like, I.

708
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:30,120
Speaker 6: Don't know, it was just something that clicked to me.

709
00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:33,440
Speaker 3: Is that what I'm doing, Like I'm doubting myself, Like

710
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:36,400
Speaker 3: I'm doubting my abilities, and I know how hard I go.

711
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:38,839
Speaker 3: I know what I have to offer this world, and

712
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 3: I know the heart that I have to serve in

713
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:44,240
Speaker 3: this capacity with women.

714
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 6: So yeah, don't be afraid to bet on you, Courtney.

715
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:49,719
Speaker 4: Really quick, I just wanted to say when we were

716
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:52,400
Speaker 4: looking at your profile and everything I saw, one of

717
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 4: your first Instagram photos was like twenty twenty, and I

718
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 4: was like, I feel like, based on the way your brand,

719
00:37:57,719 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 4: Like your brand is so established that I thought that

720
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:02,440
Speaker 4: you've had this brand for years and I was like, wait,

721
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 4: this is our first photo in twenty twenty, so you

722
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 4: betting on you?

723
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:07,680
Speaker 2: It's amazing like you're doing it.

724
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:11,400
Speaker 3: Man, I can't even tell you how much I appreciate

725
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:14,920
Speaker 3: you telling me that and that feedback that definitely.

726
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:17,000
Speaker 6: You know, you don't get you don't get anyone telling

727
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:19,719
Speaker 6: you like how you're doing in your business realm.

728
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 3: Right, So to hear that from you, like you guys

729
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:25,719
Speaker 3: have an amazing Hello, top notch podcast out here on

730
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:29,320
Speaker 3: the internet streets. Okay, I take that to heart deeply

731
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 3: and I appreciate it.

732
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 5: Well, Courtney.

733
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 1: While we're out here celebrating you, you know, we like

734
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:40,319
Speaker 1: to celebrate. We like to get a little dancing. So

735
00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 1: are you gonna twerk or you gonna two step?

736
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:47,960
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I'm a two stepper. I'm a two stepper,

737
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:49,839
Speaker 3: but I get a little dip with it. Okay, so

738
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:51,160
Speaker 3: a little dip.

739
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 4: It's not just it's not just a two step it

740
00:38:57,680 --> 00:38:59,040
Speaker 4: is okay, Okay.

741
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 3: We're going to add a little exprinkle on top.

742
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:09,600
Speaker 4: Next question for you is what's the sexiest item you own?

743
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 3: Ooh, the sexiest. I just got what I call pretty panties.

744
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:17,399
Speaker 3: This is something I do when my children hit one,

745
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:21,279
Speaker 3: because it's like I'm throwing away all my panties from postpartum,

746
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:23,160
Speaker 3: all the panties I went through while pregnant.

747
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,520
Speaker 6: Because if you be pregnant or not, like you.

748
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:30,400
Speaker 3: Know, you know what your what your lingerie compilation looks like.

749
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:33,920
Speaker 3: And so it's a big celebration I do with my

750
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,400
Speaker 3: children at their birthday. I get a whole new pretty

751
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 3: panty set for two weeks, Yes, the whole two weeks.

752
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,920
Speaker 3: And so that has to be the sexiest thing, is

753
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 3: my new lingerie sets. But I'm gonna say panties because

754
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:47,600
Speaker 3: they're just fun.

755
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:48,239
Speaker 6: They're fun.

756
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:51,280
Speaker 4: We'll say I love it.

757
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:56,160
Speaker 1: That's giving me ideas for like gifts from my mom friends,

758
00:39:56,200 --> 00:40:00,040
Speaker 1: like okay, yes we're yes, we're celebrating the baby, but

759
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:01,799
Speaker 1: you know you need a little something too.

760
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:02,799
Speaker 5: I like that.

761
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:06,200
Speaker 6: Okay, on the quarter, these birthday parties will never be

762
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 6: the same.

763
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:09,200
Speaker 5: You rights starting a trend.

764
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:14,760
Speaker 1: So our next part of this segment is our sentence completion.

765
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 1: One question or topic you wish people asked you about

766
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:20,719
Speaker 1: more often is.

767
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:28,440
Speaker 3: Wow, Okay, I think it would have to be about marriage.

768
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:31,280
Speaker 3: I think it's something I don't really have a space

769
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:36,920
Speaker 3: necessarily to talk about. But really navigating adding babies into

770
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 3: your life, your marriage, and especially when you have multiple children,

771
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:45,760
Speaker 3: how the dynamic changes and kind of navigating that newness

772
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 3: in that space and really but finding ways to keep

773
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:53,360
Speaker 3: that solid foundation, and that's something that requiets work. But

774
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:55,720
Speaker 3: I don't feel like a lot of people talk about

775
00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:58,560
Speaker 3: that as much when it comes to the maternal space

776
00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:00,960
Speaker 3: and birth space. So I would definite they say that's

777
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,200
Speaker 3: a conversation I would love to actually tap into.

778
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:12,399
Speaker 1: Well, since you put it out there, accord me, tell

779
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:17,480
Speaker 1: us about navigating marriage and your relationship in this maternal

780
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 1: space when you are postpartum.

781
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, and during the pregnancy mm hmmm.

782
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:26,440
Speaker 6: I would say.

783
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:28,799
Speaker 3: And this is something I feel like a coach a

784
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:32,120
Speaker 3: lot on is when you're pregnant with your first you

785
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:35,799
Speaker 3: are so excited to meet them, and I know from me,

786
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 3: I was like, I just can't wait to see what

787
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:37,880
Speaker 3: they look like.

788
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:39,880
Speaker 6: Do they look like me? Do they look like you?

789
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:42,120
Speaker 6: Was like, what is this person gonna look like?

790
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 3: And you get so excited about the next thing and

791
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 3: them being here, you forget about really absorbing the right

792
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:54,280
Speaker 3: now with your partner. And that's something that sinds having

793
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:56,279
Speaker 3: my own children. So I know the women they're gonna

794
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 3: listen to this and be like, yes, she does always

795
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 3: like did you go? Did y'all have date moment? I

796
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:03,400
Speaker 3: don't call them date nights or date outs because it could.

797
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:05,279
Speaker 6: Be a date moment. You could be at home, you

798
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:07,440
Speaker 6: could choose. I love this card game.

799
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 3: I think it's called d and or something like that,

800
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:12,400
Speaker 3: but it is a question game. And me and my

801
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 3: husband every single night we do two cards a night

802
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:19,960
Speaker 3: just as a conversation sparker, to keep us laughing, to

803
00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 3: keep us thinking because some of them are thought joggers,

804
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:25,560
Speaker 3: like for real, for real, and just keeping that connection

805
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:29,200
Speaker 3: because there's a level of intimacy with that. And so

806
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:31,719
Speaker 3: for me, what it's looks like with me and my

807
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:35,560
Speaker 3: husband is a lot of intentionality because it's hard to

808
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 3: get in the lone.

809
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:37,800
Speaker 6: Moments when you have children.

810
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:40,560
Speaker 3: We do not have a full time nanny on hand,

811
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:43,840
Speaker 3: so it is us tag teaming with the kids and

812
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:44,480
Speaker 3: making it work.

813
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 6: We're both entrepreneurs, so.

814
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:51,840
Speaker 3: You know, it's just being intentional about making space, protecting

815
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 3: that space and keeping our foundation strong and COMMUNI communication

816
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 3: even stronger.

817
00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:58,320
Speaker 2: That is amazing.

818
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:00,879
Speaker 4: And I'm so going to use that date moment because

819
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:02,399
Speaker 4: I haven't had a date night in a while later,

820
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:03,839
Speaker 4: but we've had some date moments.

821
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:06,400
Speaker 2: So I love that being made that distinction because that's powerful.

822
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 2: It's about the time, right, go ahead, go ahead, Courtney,

823
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:11,280
Speaker 2: all right, our last sentence completion.

824
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:18,200
Speaker 4: Here is what I love most about myself is.

825
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:18,400
Speaker 6: The woman I continue to become.

826
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 3: And I think that from every single day that I

827
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 3: wake up and rise up above the challenges, the pressures,

828
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:33,120
Speaker 3: especially with being a business owner and one that's expanding,

829
00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:35,000
Speaker 3: and also keeping my.

830
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 6: Mom hat on, my wife hat on.

831
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:40,920
Speaker 3: It's just you know, sometimes I really I journal a

832
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:44,080
Speaker 3: lot and so but now it's video journaling.

833
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 6: I used to write. Now it's video, but I do

834
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:48,919
Speaker 6: the journal now video.

835
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:52,360
Speaker 3: Style and just watching back sometimes and seeing where I

836
00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:54,319
Speaker 3: was versus where I am now, and just seeing the

837
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:57,319
Speaker 3: growth and the growth and just my the way I

838
00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:59,280
Speaker 3: think about things and my mindset.

839
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:01,759
Speaker 6: That's how the be That has to be the biggest.

840
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:04,400
Speaker 3: Growth I've had in the last year is really the

841
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:07,960
Speaker 3: abundance mindset and belief in myself.

842
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:10,040
Speaker 6: So yeah, it's just a woman.

843
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 3: I'm becoming in this journey, and I'm just so thankful.

844
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:15,240
Speaker 3: I've been very blessed for sure.

845
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:17,680
Speaker 2: We love to see it. We love to see it.

846
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 4: All Right, we're moving on to the last second year,

847
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:24,400
Speaker 4: and so we have pulled three photos from your Instagram,

848
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:26,560
Speaker 4: and what we want you to do is choose the

849
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 4: number between one and three, and we're just going to

850
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:30,839
Speaker 4: show you that picture on screen, and then you can

851
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:33,719
Speaker 4: give us more context on what are we looking at, what.

852
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 2: Happened before you took the picture, what happened after all

853
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:36,320
Speaker 2: that good stuff.

854
00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:37,839
Speaker 6: I'm definitely going with three.

855
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 2: Oh nice, okay, cool, we are all in the picture.

856
00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:43,360
Speaker 2: We're on picture three right now.

857
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:47,120
Speaker 4: I already had to pull it up, so here we go.

858
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:51,879
Speaker 3: Yes, okay, so I am gonna do it yourselfer. I

859
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 3: love the crafting, I love projects, I love refurbishing stuff.

860
00:44:55,800 --> 00:45:00,319
Speaker 3: So I'm constantly rearranging my home and decorating. What you're

861
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 3: seeing right here is in my daughter's nursery. This is literally,

862
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:08,680
Speaker 3: I want to say, she has to have been only

863
00:45:08,719 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 3: maybe like three months old. She's very little because actually

864
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 3: in this photo my husband's holding her while I'm like

865
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:16,440
Speaker 3: take my picture, because I want her to remember that

866
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 3: I decorated her room all.

867
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:21,440
Speaker 6: So this was me.

868
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 3: I love like I just love hanging pictures. I love

869
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:28,279
Speaker 3: just making a space feel different, just by.

870
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:29,440
Speaker 6: Subtle small things.

871
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:32,279
Speaker 3: So that's definitely what you're saying in this picture is

872
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 3: me in the infamous rap.

873
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:38,320
Speaker 6: He love yes, changing up my daughter's nursery.

874
00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:39,799
Speaker 2: We love it.

875
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 5: We love it, so courtant me.

876
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 1: Can you tell all of our listeners out there how

877
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:48,160
Speaker 1: they can keep in touch with you and if they

878
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 1: are interested in that invite only Melanated Milkie's Club, how

879
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 1: can they find you?

880
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Speaker 3: You can find me heavily on Instagram, the Equipped Mama,

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00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 3: but also on Facebook or if you alike, you can

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00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:07,640
Speaker 3: always go to the Equipped Mama That is m A

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00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:12,160
Speaker 3: m A Theequo Tomama dot com. But yeah, come connect

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00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 3: with me on Instagram. If you're wanting to join the

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00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:17,800
Speaker 3: Melanated Milki's Club, all you have to do is schedule

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00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:21,320
Speaker 3: an enrollment exploration call for us to chat about your goals,

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00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,400
Speaker 3: your concerns, and to see how it can best serve you.

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Speaker 2: Amazing, Courtney, you are awesome.

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Speaker 4: We're so grateful for you and what you're doing for

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00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:31,319
Speaker 4: the community and ladies, make sure you show Courtney's love,

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00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:33,400
Speaker 4: go follow her pages and roll on her programs and

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00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 4: all that good stuff, and we'll see you next time.

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00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:40,280
Speaker 6: Yes, thank you, ladies.

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Speaker 7: Hey lady, it's Terry here from the Cultivating her Space podcast.

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Speaker 7: I'm hosting a free podcasting masterclass where I'm going to

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00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 7: teach you how to create your impactful podcast and how

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00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:53,720
Speaker 7: you can generate multiple streams of income. You can visit

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00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:57,640
Speaker 7: podcast with Terry dot com to register for free. I

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00:46:57,680 --> 00:46:58,479
Speaker 7: hope to see you there.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us today. Please note that our show

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00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:10,680
Speaker 1: may contain conversations about self help, advice, self empowerment, and

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00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:13,920
Speaker 1: mental health, but is by no means meant to be

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00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:18,240
Speaker 1: a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship with a trained

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00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:22,319
Speaker 1: mental health provider. If you are someone you know is

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00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:25,680
Speaker 1: in need of mental health care, please visit a Therapy

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00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:31,600
Speaker 1: for Black Girls directory Psychology today or contact your insurance provider.

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00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 4: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

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00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:38,799
Speaker 4: the conversation going, visit our website cultivatinghirspace dot com and

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00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:41,440
Speaker 4: be sure to click the Patreon tab to get access

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00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:46,359
Speaker 4: to video content, bonuses, and our weekly after show. And

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00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:50,480
Speaker 4: before we meet again, repeat after me. Greatness is my birthright.

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Speaker 4: So I no longer ask for permission,