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Speaker 1: School of humans we're recording. Isn't that crazy? It is crazy.

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Speaker 2: It's been so long, It has.

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Speaker 1: Been so long. Who the fuck are you guys? I

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Speaker 1: don't even know what I am.

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Speaker 3: An ancient being because being ancient is not bad. Okay,

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Speaker 3: well apparently I'm an old lady now, all.

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Speaker 1: Right, Nika is ancient. You're an old lady, and I'm

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Speaker 1: just so much has changed, Haggard, so much has changed.

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Speaker 1: But I guess we could remind people who we I'm Gabby.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm Nica.

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Speaker 4: I'm Taylor, and.

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Speaker 1: We also have two cats here. We got Jimmy and Patsy.

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Speaker 1: I have a new cat, which that's a crazy thing.

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Speaker 2: Welcome, Katty has a new cat. I have a new dog.

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Speaker 2: Nica fostered cats, I did.

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Speaker 3: I fostered four kittens, which, my god, never becoming a mother.

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Speaker 3: I'm literally getting my tubestied very soon. Anyway, Do you

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Speaker 3: think you'd have kittens?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: If I were to get pregnant right now by a human,

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Speaker 3: I would birth kittens because that's just.

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Speaker 5: Who I am as a person.

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Speaker 1: Yeah that makes sense. Yeah, so freaky. It's sin maybe

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Speaker 1: has been on a whole journey.

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Speaker 3: She doesn't half cat now all the furry jokes guys

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Speaker 3: were true.

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Speaker 2: Did you see that guy that There's some.

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Speaker 4: Guy that actually got like a lot of surgery to

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Speaker 4: turn into a dog and he went for his first

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Speaker 4: walk out in the world as a dog.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, what.

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Speaker 1: If he did his first walk and he was like,

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Speaker 1: I actually I don't think this was worth it. Actually

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Speaker 1: have a good time.

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Speaker 2: Think sure?

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Speaker 4: For me, there's like a picture of him like looking

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Speaker 4: at a real dog and the real dog is like,

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Speaker 4: what the actual fuck?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like when I walk my cat Gigi, that's kind

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Speaker 3: of how they that's how the cats look at and

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Speaker 3: then that's how the dogs are with the.

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Speaker 5: Cat like we're looking dog. It's like, yeah, well.

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Speaker 1: Dogs are so racist, that's crazy. Okay.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, lots has transpired, lots has changed, but we're all

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Speaker 3: still the hot group that everyone knows and love.

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Speaker 1: You're still a hot power trio. Who this is the

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Speaker 1: first time we've hung out since No No.

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Speaker 6: A couple of times.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the law is, yeah, we're still a power trio. Yes.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I came into Gabby's new apartment and threw myself on

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Speaker 3: the couch immediately, and apparently this is the couch of

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Speaker 3: her dead grandma.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, my grandma died. But I feel like, what

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Speaker 1: it's been like two a year and a half since

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Speaker 1: the end of Kids, and that's wild. There's probably a

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Speaker 1: lot of other people who died in the interim, so

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Speaker 1: they should be happy that we don't do the show anymore.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, he'd be talking about you the Height

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Speaker 4: of Death whilst Cavergals was happening.

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Speaker 1: I e.

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Speaker 2: COVID yea, yeah, the peak of COVID.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I know we did this kind of at

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Speaker 1: the the last episode, but again, I want to shout

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Speaker 1: out to everyone apologies that we made the show during COVID,

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Speaker 1: but you know, we had a contract and we had

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Speaker 1: to fulfill it, so but sorry.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think they are happy just because we're not

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Speaker 3: bullying them anymore and making up facts about them, yis.

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Speaker 4: But also for those that existed, thank you so that

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Speaker 4: we could have something to do.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks to the guy who got eaten by like

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Speaker 3: his own porno like when he they like seeped through

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Speaker 3: him and one of the.

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Speaker 2: First ones that we recorded.

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Speaker 5: It stuck with me for the rest of my life.

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Speaker 4: Okay.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, still rat stuff, rat torture.

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Speaker 3: That's always gonna be part of us that if to

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Speaker 3: that one.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, drowning and excrement, the horse fucking I think about

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Speaker 4: it all the time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you really do.

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Speaker 6: I bring it up like people it's like did you know?

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Speaker 2: And they're like, okay, why are you telling me this?

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Speaker 5: Why are you telling me this?

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Speaker 3: Like you know this, Like I just came over for

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Speaker 3: some fun and now you're sitting down telling me about

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Speaker 3: this horrible horse fucking death.

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Speaker 1: See that's the thing.

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Speaker 3: Without the podcast, I'm just like talking about this on

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Speaker 3: dates and.

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Speaker 6: It's not going I mean, actually it's going great. To

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Speaker 6: be honest, I think I could say anything. I don'

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Speaker 6: think I could say anything and no one would care.

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Speaker 1: All right. Yeah. Well, also the one that I always

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Speaker 1: think about is the cow dogs are more likely to

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Speaker 1: eat you, and then cats will eat you after you die,

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Speaker 1: after we all die in our apartments alone.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, well, to be fair, I have a house, so sorry.

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Speaker 1: You brought out houses. My bad. When you guys die

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Speaker 1: in your house is alone?

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Speaker 4: Real tweet dogs to eat me, so for one stay

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Speaker 4: he stays in that crate, so he might unless he's

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Speaker 4: out and about when I die, which I guess is

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Speaker 4: very possible.

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Speaker 2: He's a giant puppy.

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Speaker 1: He is giant.

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Speaker 2: I think it could be the one that murders me.

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Speaker 5: I think he's a man instead of a dog suit

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Speaker 5: is what I think it is.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, is that the furry guy that we're

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Speaker 1: just talking about is your dog?

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Speaker 2: Taylor is actually talking about the story.

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Speaker 4: How traumatic would that be though, to like have acquired

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Speaker 4: a dog and not realizing that it was really a human.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say it's traumatic and then also very

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Speaker 1: there would be something wrong with you be like you

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Speaker 1: didn't notice.

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Speaker 5: It would be like Lelo and Stitch, but like the

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Speaker 5: cursed version.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I'd like to think that I'm smarter than that.

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Speaker 1: Coming soon from Marvel Cursed Gabby.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay podcast.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I gathered us here today so that you

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Speaker 1: guys could sit in traffic mostly and just really bother you.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, we're hopping on the Cadaverous Feed for the

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Speaker 1: to the cadaver Pals. Tell you guys about a new

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Speaker 1: show that I'm doing. I'm trying to promote it, and

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Speaker 1: that is what I'm doing. I know, I'm being very self.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to promote a new podcast because I do

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Speaker 1: there is somebody who like when we said, it's our

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Speaker 1: last episode. I remember someone like commented, which one of

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Speaker 1: you guys are like doing your own thing? Now, who's

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Speaker 1: going so sorry, it's me, You're the toxic one. Yes, yeah, oh,

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Speaker 1: thank you.

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Speaker 4: We should have we should have done like a vote

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Speaker 4: or we should I guess we still can do a

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Speaker 4: vote on who they think is the most toxic of

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Speaker 4: the three of us on the social media.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll do one post and we will ask who's

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Speaker 1: the most toxic?

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Speaker 5: Got me immediately, immediately, Thank you.

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Speaker 1: I love to be remembered. But yeah, so I'm talking

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Speaker 1: to a podcast. It's called American Filth. Okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: I'm just like react to the title, and basically I

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Speaker 1: don't know what basically what it is. It's going to

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Speaker 1: be a weekly show and every day I tell a

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Speaker 1: story from American history that's filthy, a filthy story. And

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Speaker 1: the reason I did it is because remember the one

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Speaker 1: episode with Governor Morris, who is one of the founding

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Speaker 1: fathers who then yeah, he died by because he used

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Speaker 1: his wife's uh courset as a catheter and then he

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Speaker 1: got an infection in his wien.

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Speaker 6: Are you and the wheel bones? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I remember, Gosh, Taylor she's so old that she has Alzheimer's.

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Speaker 6: Let's joke about Alzheimer's.

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Speaker 1: We got to give the people what they want. But anyway,

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Speaker 1: so I'm doing so because of that. I really did

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Speaker 1: some more research about him, and I really I thought

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Speaker 1: his life was pretty interesting. So I want to do

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Speaker 1: a show just about him. But then they're like, actually, instead,

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Speaker 1: could you just do a show every week about different people?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, fine, so fine, I.

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Speaker 6: Will do my own every week for me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it was. They literally threatened me. It was

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Speaker 1: so thanks, iHeart. Look what I'm doing now? God, So

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Speaker 1: now I'm doing this show and so there's gonna be

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Speaker 1: episodes every week and it's just basically me narrating a story.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of like a stupid Wikipedia page, but with

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Speaker 1: really stupid sound design as well, and so that's what

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Speaker 1: the show is. Yeah, it's gonna be everything. I hate it.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to promote the podcast. I can't have you

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Speaker 1: being like, no, don't listen to it. That's not how

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Speaker 1: promotion works.

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Speaker 5: I just know that you understand the F A R

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Speaker 5: T jokes.

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Speaker 1: Yep, there probably is, but it is every time we

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Speaker 1: say something about a Wiener, I just put a boying sound.

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Speaker 5: Okay, I find that's good.

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Speaker 2: That's good morning talk show.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just me being like, okay, guys today we're

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Speaker 1: talking about what. Yeah, it's me alone, how I always

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Speaker 1: wanted to be, uh.

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Speaker 6: Okay, going on a walk.

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Speaker 3: It'll be Monday morning and then I'll be like, time

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Speaker 3: to listen to my filthy story. And Gabby's sonorous voice

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Speaker 3: will appear.

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Speaker 1: Should we read the reviews, My boring voice will be, yeah,

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Speaker 1: hear the reviews?

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Speaker 3: No you have.

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Speaker 4: You will have to throw some things in there, for

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Speaker 4: for the cadaver owls.

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Speaker 1: Throw some.

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Speaker 4: Stories.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we got death stories like actually, I'm hijacking

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Speaker 1: a lot of the cadaver galas content.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, oh goody our.

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Speaker 4: Year and a half, two years of work.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just stealing to this. For example, I'm stealing

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Speaker 1: the doctor doctor Willard Bliss story. This one that's a

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Speaker 1: good one. So I'm doing more about that one. And

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Speaker 1: then also there was the one that I did that

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Speaker 1: was about like in where they thought people were vampires

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Speaker 1: and they would dig them up. And then like I

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Speaker 1: was literally going to bring up vampires. Do more about vampires,

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Speaker 1: and we love vampires, we do.

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Speaker 5: We really do.

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Speaker 3: And apparently aliens are real now, so you're gonna have

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Speaker 3: a lot to go off of. Yeah, congratulations, Yeah, so

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Speaker 3: much to change, guys. Aliens exist, well.

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Speaker 4: They have been existing, but weird. We just they just

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Speaker 4: decided to tell us, you know, they were like things

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Speaker 4: got a little too calm. Yeah, let's let's throw some aliens.

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Speaker 5: The thing is, no one really gives a fuck.

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Speaker 2: They really don't.

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Speaker 1: Well, I mean, actually, I wanted to gather you guys

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Speaker 1: here today because I wanted to tell you a real secret,

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Speaker 1: which is I am a lizard person. God.

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Speaker 3: You know, I always knew there was something that attracted

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Speaker 3: me about Gabby.

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Speaker 5: That's what.

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Speaker 1: Okay, you a furry or you a scaly? Like a like,

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Speaker 1: when are we doing?

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Speaker 3: Fair?

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Speaker 1: All right, guys, But so I just want to tell

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Speaker 1: you about the podcast and then the people could hear

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Speaker 1: our beautiful voices. And uh, I'm actually gonna attach at

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Speaker 1: the end of this an episode that you guys.

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Speaker 2: Can just listen to tell me when it launches.

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Speaker 1: So it's coming out September sixth nine six aka the

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Speaker 1: opposite of sixty nine.

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Speaker 6: Okay, that is so so on purpose the lizard Brain.

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you ten out of ten so it's coming out,

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Speaker 1: and by the time that this comes out, probably have

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Speaker 1: a few episodes out, and so they're gonna come out

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Speaker 1: every week on Wednesdays.

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Speaker 5: How many do you have bank Wednesdays days?

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Speaker 1: Exactly? How many do I have banked? Technically, I'll supposedly

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Speaker 1: I'll have ten by the time it comes out. Suppose

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Speaker 1: it's good?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Good.

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's pretty good. We were always like,

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Speaker 1: we gotta make an episode.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it comes up tomorrow.

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Speaker 4: And now our listeners understand and why it was the

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Speaker 4: way that it was.

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Speaker 3: Okay, maybe could aver pals. I think you you know

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Speaker 3: what to do, right. We are what's the word forcing you?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 5: We are telling no, I want something forceful.

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Speaker 6: I'm plaring no threatening, threatening.

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Speaker 3: We are threatening you to listen to this podcast because

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Speaker 3: y'all are nasty.

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Speaker 5: So I feel like you would love it.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Taylor. Now you do an endorsement of my

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Speaker 1: podcast you haven't heard.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. Look, anything that Gabby's gonna do is

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Speaker 4: gonna be absolutely amazing. She obviously was the best one

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Speaker 4: true besides me and Nika.

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Speaker 1: That's actually a pretty good point.

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Speaker 4: I'm kidding. I am so excited to listen to your

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Speaker 4: new podcast and listen to all of the filth everyone, all.

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Speaker 2: Of you could have pals, all five of you. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because here's that together.

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Speaker 3: And there is nothing better than like being in an

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Speaker 3: adult dinner party and then just having a story where

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Speaker 3: people are like, where the fuck did.

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Speaker 2: You hear that?

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Speaker 3: You sound smart, you sound cool, and you sound a

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Speaker 3: little bit dirty, which is exactly how you attract an

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Speaker 3: ideal mate in this in this environment.

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Speaker 1: Or Nika and her Freaky Mates that's actually new podcast

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Speaker 1: that's coming out and.

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Speaker 2: Her Freaky Mates links not e Niqus.

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Speaker 5: That was always the way.

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Speaker 1: That was always the Taylor, what's your podcast? It's going

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Speaker 1: to come out one day?

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, it's probably just like a podcast about

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Speaker 4: all of my traumas.

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Speaker 1: Taylor's Carousel of Traumas, Taylor's Trauma Trauma Taylor, we do this.

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Speaker 4: Thing at work where we talk about like somebody will

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Speaker 4: highlight what they have on their desk, and all of

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Speaker 4: they do is go show them how like all of

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Speaker 4: their fancy houses and where they live.

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Speaker 5: Oh, you're you're talking active shit.

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Speaker 4: You are doing okay, But no, this is actually funny

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Speaker 4: because Nica goes.

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Speaker 6: Taylor would be like, do not add me into this,

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Speaker 6: it goes, Oh, Taylor, would just.

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Speaker 4: Be I talk about I think about how I'm going

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Speaker 4: to quit my job every single day and then go

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Speaker 4: do something else.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, literally, yeah, God bless.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, I'm just thinking about what I'm editing out this conversation. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I guess Actually, lastly, we should, Taylor, have you seen

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Speaker 1: any good horses recently?

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Speaker 4: Okay, No, I haven't because here's why. So y'all knew

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Speaker 4: about Maverick. Right, Maverick was in my life during Cadaver goals.

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Speaker 1: Right, I don't remember Maverick.

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Speaker 2: Maverick's my horse.

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Speaker 4: I like, I have a horse buddy now, and his

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Speaker 4: name is Maverick. Anyway, I haven't seen him in a

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Speaker 4: while because I broke my foot and so I can't.

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Speaker 4: I can't ride until horses online.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just scrolling looking at horses.

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Speaker 2: I do, though, she does the.

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Speaker 4: Thing I do. Have you not seen how cute baby

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Speaker 4: horses are?

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Speaker 1: So cy I have seen them before. They're pretty cute.

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Speaker 4: They're so cute.

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Speaker 1: So clumsy though, they're so clumsy, so cute, embarrassing. When

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Speaker 1: I was a baby, I just fell out and was

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Speaker 1: just this is what I looked.

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Speaker 2: Like I'll start to walk.

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Speaker 5: I was never a.

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Speaker 2: Baby, you were like a giraffe.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm actually Benjamin Button.

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Speaker 5: You've got the face for it.

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Speaker 1: I'm getting so young. I'm so young, so fresh. Okay, anyway, guys,

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Speaker 1: listen to my new podcast. It's called American Filth, and

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Speaker 1: I'm going to drop the episode actually about Governor Morris

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Speaker 1: right after this, so please listen, like, subscribe, leave a

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Speaker 1: review that's bad, Why not leave good reviews? Leave good ones.

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Speaker 4: So that Gabby can keep doing it and just be.

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Speaker 2: So Gabby can just be do that for her job.

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Speaker 4: American Filth will just be her job, just like I

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Speaker 4: wanted for Cadaver Girls.

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Speaker 2: But alas for the last I have to actually do

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Speaker 2: work now.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's terrible. Well, I have to do like two

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Speaker 1: other shows two unfortunately at the same time.

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Speaker 4: If he becomes so, if everybody likes and says all

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Speaker 4: of the good things and gives you all good reviews,

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Speaker 4: then you'll be too busy on all of your tours

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Speaker 4: and everything to do other work.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so exactly, Well, do you have any ideas of like,

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Speaker 1: because I was thinking of telling people like filth heads

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Speaker 1: or something. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: No, No, I've only recorded like six episodes where I

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Speaker 3: say that, but it's fine.

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Speaker 1: No, no, it's bad.

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Speaker 2: I mean it's not bad. I just I think we

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Speaker 2: can do better.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Filters, I'm filters.

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Speaker 2: Filthy.

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Speaker 1: Filters organically come about with me talking to myself in

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Speaker 1: the studio, which is that closet right.

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Speaker 2: There, Kappy, are you not going to miss us?

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Speaker 1: I do miss you every day with every fiber of

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Speaker 1: my being. Okay, that's why I force you to drive

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Speaker 1: over here.

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Speaker 3: Okay, everyone listened to American Filth, Get Filthy.

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Speaker 1: Get Filthy, Get and here's the episode. Thank you, bye

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Speaker 1: bye bye. Okay, guy, this is American Filth. But we're

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Speaker 1: actually going to be starting not in America today. We're

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Speaker 1: going to go across the water over to another continent.

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Speaker 1: So we're going to Gay Perry, Paris, France. Let's go

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Speaker 1: over to the Louver. At the time, it's like seventeen ninety,

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Speaker 1: so it's not a museum but a palace. And in

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Speaker 1: that palace, in one of the wings, there's a young

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Speaker 1: woman playing the harpsichord. She's the niece of the man

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Speaker 1: who lives in these apartments where these apartments have been

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Speaker 1: bequeathed to him. Because he works for the king and

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Speaker 1: they are expecting company. Meanwhile, his wife is in the foyer,

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Speaker 1: you know, a great place to perhaps greet the guests

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Speaker 1: who are about to arrive. But instead of doing that,

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Speaker 1: she is actually having sex with a one legged American.

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Speaker 1: And he isn't just any one legged American. No, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: he is a man who wrote this little thing that

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Speaker 1: you might know might recognize. It goes like this, we

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Speaker 1: the people at the United States, in order to form

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Speaker 1: a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide

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Speaker 1: for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure

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Speaker 1: the blessing the liberty to ourselves in our posterity, do

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Speaker 1: ordain and establish this Constitution of the United States of America. Guests. Indeed,

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Speaker 1: this dude fucking in the foyer wrote the preamble to

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Speaker 1: the Constitution of the United States of America, Because really,

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Speaker 1: what is a more perfect union? What ensures more domestic

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Speaker 1: tranquility than public sex? The fouling fathers you know him, right,

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Speaker 1: Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, Alexander Hamilton, etc. But there is

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Speaker 1: one founding father in particular who a lot of people

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Speaker 1: don't know about. His name is a Governor Morris. It's

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Speaker 1: a French spelling. Some historians have said gouveneir gouveneur, But

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Speaker 1: I like Governor the best, and a lot of historians

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Speaker 1: have said this in a much more intelligent way. But

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Speaker 1: they have sugested of the reason that a lot of

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Speaker 1: us don't know about Governor Morris is because he had

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Speaker 1: a filthy personal life. Like I'm not saying he was

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Speaker 1: our sluttiest founding father, because a lot of them were.

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Speaker 1: I think he was just the founding father who was

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Speaker 1: most in love with the idea of being in love.

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Speaker 1: One of his I guess like affirmations that he lived

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Speaker 1: by was to enjoy is to obey, which is basically

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Speaker 1: the Yolo of the late eighteenth century. He was a

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Speaker 1: public servant to America, but he was also there for

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Speaker 1: a good time. He lived by his wiener, and actually

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Speaker 1: he died by it too. This is the story of

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Speaker 1: Governor Morris. Here on American Filth. Here's the theme song.

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Speaker 1: This is American Filth, and I'm your host, Gabby Watts.

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Speaker 1: Every week I bring you a different filthy story from

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Speaker 1: American history. Today's episode Living and Dying by the Wiener.

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Speaker 1: Oh why don't we just start at the beginning. Why not?

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Speaker 1: Governor was born in seventeen fifty two at a place

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Speaker 1: called morris Sania, his family's estate and New Amsterdam, which

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Speaker 1: would become New York City. But then, you know, he

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Speaker 1: was before it was the big Apple. At the time,

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00:18:41,845 --> 00:18:45,405
Speaker 1: they called it the crab Apple. His dad was very rich,

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Speaker 1: a landowner and a judge, and the family itself it

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00:18:48,285 --> 00:18:52,725
Speaker 1: was just big aristocratic vibes. His dad died when he

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Speaker 1: was young, but not before he told Governor and his

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Speaker 1: older half brothers that Governor was his favorite and smartest son.

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Speaker 1: Dad's always know the right thing to do, like pit

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Speaker 1: your children against each other. Governor's mom was a huge

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Speaker 1: not dissent. She and Governor would have plenty of differences

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Speaker 1: along the way. For example, during the War of Independence,

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Speaker 1: she was a loyalist. She actually let the British use

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Speaker 1: Morisania as a military base. But before all of that,

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Speaker 1: one unfortunate thing that happened to Governor when he was

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Speaker 1: a kid, just when he was fourteen, it was pretty

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00:19:25,845 --> 00:19:27,325
Speaker 1: clear that he was a bit of a clumsy boy,

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00:19:27,565 --> 00:19:30,525
Speaker 1: and he dropped a kettle of boiling water on his

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Speaker 1: right arm. Someone later described it that it looked like

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Speaker 1: all the flesh who had been taken off, But he

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Speaker 1: thrived in spite of his injury. He was mad educated

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Speaker 1: and before ye old Declaration of Independence Governor he was

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Speaker 1: working as a lawyer. He was elected to the New

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Speaker 1: York Provincial Congress in seventeen seventy five, starts advocating for

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Speaker 1: independence from Britain. When war breaks out, he gets involved.

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Speaker 1: He's appointed to the Continental Congress in seventeen seventy eight,

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Speaker 1: was in charge of military reforms, and he became the

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Speaker 1: youngest signer of the Articles of Confederation. And yeah, he

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Speaker 1: had a lot of opinions on various founding fathers. He's

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Speaker 1: a huge semp for George Washington. He loves George Washington.

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Speaker 1: He thinks James Madison is an idiot. And he becomes

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Speaker 1: pals with Alexander Hamilton. Actually, when Alexander Hamilton's on his deathbed,

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00:20:28,165 --> 00:20:30,965
Speaker 1: Governor Morris is there too, not dead, but just there

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Speaker 1: to comfort his friend who's dying. But already, as a

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Speaker 1: young man, Governor Morris is developing a bit of a

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Speaker 1: skanky reputation because he at the time he's strapping, he's charming,

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Speaker 1: he's witty, and most importantly, he's over six feet tall.

443
00:20:49,125 --> 00:20:54,045
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and historians specifically note that Governor rarely paid

444
00:20:54,085 --> 00:20:57,085
Speaker 1: for sex. Oh no, he didn't need to. He could

445
00:20:57,205 --> 00:21:00,965
Speaker 1: just get it. As Governor wrote, I like only the

446
00:21:01,045 --> 00:21:06,485
Speaker 1: yielding kiss, and that from lips I love. And lucky

447
00:21:06,485 --> 00:21:10,245
Speaker 1: for him, he seemed to love a lot of different lips.

448
00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:14,445
Speaker 1: As his pal John Jay said about him, Governor is

449
00:21:14,605 --> 00:21:20,005
Speaker 1: daily employed in making oblations to Venus. And not only

450
00:21:20,085 --> 00:21:23,445
Speaker 1: was he making oblations to Venus, he was specifically making

451
00:21:23,525 --> 00:21:26,645
Speaker 1: some of these oblations with other people's wives. And this

452
00:21:27,085 --> 00:21:37,605
Speaker 1: gets him into trouble. So let's meet up with Governor

453
00:21:37,645 --> 00:21:42,565
Speaker 1: Morris in May seventeen eighty. He's moved to Philadelphia. That's

454
00:21:42,565 --> 00:21:45,165
Speaker 1: good for his business as a lawyer and as a merchant,

455
00:21:45,445 --> 00:21:48,605
Speaker 1: but it's also good for his personal life because Philadelphians

456
00:21:48,645 --> 00:21:51,445
Speaker 1: at the time had a pretty liberal view of sexuality.

457
00:21:52,725 --> 00:21:57,165
Speaker 1: In general, the Revolution period was pretty debauchrous. People were

458
00:21:57,245 --> 00:21:59,965
Speaker 1: drinking a shit ton, like five drinks a day on average.

459
00:22:00,245 --> 00:22:04,085
Speaker 1: There were lots of you know, body houses, whorehouses. People

460
00:22:04,085 --> 00:22:07,125
Speaker 1: were banging, and not just kids like for fun, men

461
00:22:07,165 --> 00:22:10,685
Speaker 1: and women in and out of marriage and sometimes in

462
00:22:10,725 --> 00:22:15,685
Speaker 1: someone else's marriage. So the governor's there in the middle

463
00:22:15,725 --> 00:22:18,765
Speaker 1: of all that, and he's about to lose a leg

464
00:22:18,805 --> 00:22:23,165
Speaker 1: because of it. The story goes like, this is a

465
00:22:23,245 --> 00:22:26,605
Speaker 1: nice ass day in May seventeen eighty. Governor is not

466
00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:29,325
Speaker 1: at work, He's not at home. No, he's at the

467
00:22:29,365 --> 00:22:34,765
Speaker 1: apartments of some other dude banging that dude's wife. But

468
00:22:35,125 --> 00:22:38,045
Speaker 1: in the middle of their oblations to venus, the husband

469
00:22:38,085 --> 00:22:41,005
Speaker 1: comes home early and catches them in the act. What

470
00:22:41,045 --> 00:22:45,765
Speaker 1: the hell that's my wife, dude. Oh no. Fearing for

471
00:22:45,805 --> 00:22:49,725
Speaker 1: his life, his junk and just general bodily harm, Governor

472
00:22:49,765 --> 00:22:51,845
Speaker 1: gets the hell out of there, and he does it

473
00:22:51,885 --> 00:22:56,885
Speaker 1: the quickest way possible by jumping from the balcony. But

474
00:22:56,925 --> 00:22:59,525
Speaker 1: when he landed he probably heard a series of cracks

475
00:22:59,765 --> 00:23:02,245
Speaker 1: because with that jump he had just totally fucked up

476
00:23:02,285 --> 00:23:06,445
Speaker 1: his ankle. He gets rushed to the dock and the

477
00:23:06,485 --> 00:23:09,445
Speaker 1: doctor's like, dang, this is so bad. We're gonna have

478
00:23:09,485 --> 00:23:11,845
Speaker 1: to take off the entire bottom half of your leg.

479
00:23:13,205 --> 00:23:16,445
Speaker 1: That's obviously a very stressful situation, especially because at the

480
00:23:16,445 --> 00:23:20,045
Speaker 1: time a third of people who got amputations die. But

481
00:23:20,085 --> 00:23:22,045
Speaker 1: Governor was like, do what you gotta do, and he

482
00:23:22,085 --> 00:23:32,805
Speaker 1: got his legs sawed off Wow, isn't that a topsy

483
00:23:32,845 --> 00:23:35,925
Speaker 1: turvy story. Unfortunately, we do not know if it is

484
00:23:36,005 --> 00:23:40,445
Speaker 1: completely accurate. Yeah, he lost his leg, but was it

485
00:23:40,445 --> 00:23:43,205
Speaker 1: because he was fleeing from a jealous husband. Maybe not.

486
00:23:43,685 --> 00:23:45,685
Speaker 1: That was just a rumor, but it's a really good one,

487
00:23:45,805 --> 00:23:49,765
Speaker 1: so I wanted to say it. Other people say it

488
00:23:49,805 --> 00:23:54,165
Speaker 1: was a mere phaeton folly aka and a literative way

489
00:23:54,245 --> 00:23:58,965
Speaker 1: to say carriage accident. One of Governor's associates described the

490
00:23:59,045 --> 00:24:01,925
Speaker 1: accident like this, He was riding out in a phaeton

491
00:24:02,405 --> 00:24:05,045
Speaker 1: and the horses taking a fright, ran away in the street,

492
00:24:05,525 --> 00:24:08,525
Speaker 1: struck the carriage against a post, broke it all to pieces,

493
00:24:08,805 --> 00:24:13,725
Speaker 1: and in the shock, fractured mister Morris's ankle. Wow, much

494
00:24:13,805 --> 00:24:19,685
Speaker 1: less exciting. But Governor did lose a leg. And the

495
00:24:19,725 --> 00:24:23,445
Speaker 1: real doozy of the situation was that when the amputation happened,

496
00:24:23,765 --> 00:24:27,165
Speaker 1: Governor's regular doctor was out of town, and then when

497
00:24:27,245 --> 00:24:29,805
Speaker 1: his doctor was back in town, he was like, Hey,

498
00:24:29,845 --> 00:24:32,885
Speaker 1: actually that other doctor made a really bad call. You

499
00:24:32,965 --> 00:24:37,005
Speaker 1: probably didn't need to amputate your leg. Well, shit, I

500
00:24:37,045 --> 00:24:42,365
Speaker 1: hate when you lose your leg for no reason. But

501
00:24:42,485 --> 00:24:45,565
Speaker 1: Governor he took it like a champ. One of his

502
00:24:45,605 --> 00:24:47,645
Speaker 1: friends was trying to make him feel better about it,

503
00:24:47,885 --> 00:24:51,085
Speaker 1: and Governor was like, my good sir, you argue the

504
00:24:51,125 --> 00:24:54,845
Speaker 1: matter so handsomely and point out so clearly the advantages

505
00:24:54,845 --> 00:24:57,725
Speaker 1: of being without legs that I am almost tempted to

506
00:24:57,765 --> 00:25:04,125
Speaker 1: part with the other ha isn't he funny? Governor's other

507
00:25:04,165 --> 00:25:07,925
Speaker 1: friends also ragged on him about it. John Jay threw

508
00:25:08,005 --> 00:25:10,845
Speaker 1: some serious shade when he said that it might have

509
00:25:10,885 --> 00:25:16,645
Speaker 1: been better if Governor had lost something else. Oh. For

510
00:25:16,685 --> 00:25:19,005
Speaker 1: the rest of his life, Governor wore a simple wooden

511
00:25:19,085 --> 00:25:21,325
Speaker 1: leg made from oak with a wooden knob at the

512
00:25:21,405 --> 00:25:24,485
Speaker 1: end of it, another addition to his scarred arm from

513
00:25:24,525 --> 00:25:28,365
Speaker 1: his childhood injury. But again, it didn't really slow him down.

514
00:25:28,725 --> 00:25:31,445
Speaker 1: He still went out dancing, boding, running around the town,

515
00:25:32,125 --> 00:25:37,125
Speaker 1: and he even continued his pursuit of married women whoops,

516
00:25:38,125 --> 00:25:42,565
Speaker 1: and that started right after the amputation. His recovery process

517
00:25:42,685 --> 00:25:46,045
Speaker 1: was under the supervision of an extremely hot milf with

518
00:25:46,165 --> 00:25:50,045
Speaker 1: great taste in French fashion. Her name was Elizabeth Plater,

519
00:25:50,365 --> 00:25:52,565
Speaker 1: the wife of George Plater, who would be the governor

520
00:25:52,605 --> 00:25:57,565
Speaker 1: of Maryland. Governor was completely besotted by Elizabeth. He sweet

521
00:25:57,605 --> 00:25:59,965
Speaker 1: talked her and she was like, Okay, I see what

522
00:26:00,005 --> 00:26:05,485
Speaker 1: you're doing. I'll give you some attention whatever. After his recovery,

523
00:26:05,725 --> 00:26:08,285
Speaker 1: he wrote her a letter saying, the wish is in

524
00:26:08,405 --> 00:26:10,685
Speaker 1: your own power. But I will say no more on

525
00:26:10,765 --> 00:26:13,485
Speaker 1: the subject lest I should go too far as I

526
00:26:13,525 --> 00:26:16,685
Speaker 1: have once or twice done. Only be assured that nothing

527
00:26:16,725 --> 00:26:21,645
Speaker 1: would give me so much pleasure once or twice? Is

528
00:26:21,685 --> 00:26:25,845
Speaker 1: he flirting or is he referencing something else they did together? Hmm,

529
00:26:28,285 --> 00:26:30,845
Speaker 1: But every smart milf knows that there's a time to

530
00:26:30,965 --> 00:26:35,005
Speaker 1: stop fooling around with these foolish young men. So she

531
00:26:35,125 --> 00:26:39,325
Speaker 1: was like, hey, sorry, you need to move on. The

532
00:26:39,325 --> 00:26:45,285
Speaker 1: governor was quite sad about it, but blah blah, blah,

533
00:26:45,285 --> 00:26:47,205
Speaker 1: blah blah. You know, the revolution is still going on,

534
00:26:47,765 --> 00:26:50,405
Speaker 1: lots of people are dying. And then the British eventually

535
00:26:50,445 --> 00:26:53,405
Speaker 1: signed the peace Articles in November seventeen eighty two. Blah

536
00:26:53,405 --> 00:26:56,805
Speaker 1: blah Blahla la la. The Articles of Confederation aren't working,

537
00:26:56,845 --> 00:26:59,125
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah. Delegates can be in Philadelphia and

538
00:26:59,165 --> 00:27:01,805
Speaker 1: May seventeen eighty seven or the Constitial Convention La la

539
00:27:01,885 --> 00:27:04,805
Speaker 1: la la la. Governor Morris was one of the delegates

540
00:27:04,805 --> 00:27:08,885
Speaker 1: from Pennsylvania, and he was ready to talk over the

541
00:27:08,925 --> 00:27:11,485
Speaker 1: course of the Convention. He spoke one hundred and seventy

542
00:27:11,525 --> 00:27:15,405
Speaker 1: three times, which was loads more than anyone else. And

543
00:27:15,445 --> 00:27:18,045
Speaker 1: Governor he had interesting beliefs, you know. He he was

544
00:27:18,165 --> 00:27:21,245
Speaker 1: very anti slavery, but he also thought that poor people

545
00:27:21,245 --> 00:27:26,685
Speaker 1: shouldn't vote. So I'm confusing. And then he drafted up

546
00:27:26,685 --> 00:27:30,085
Speaker 1: the Preamble to the Constitution and wrote those famous lines

547
00:27:30,245 --> 00:27:34,085
Speaker 1: we the people, and well, that's all, well and good.

548
00:27:34,245 --> 00:27:37,885
Speaker 1: Let's get back to the filth because Governor's life starts

549
00:27:37,885 --> 00:27:41,045
Speaker 1: getting a little bit filthier. Well, juice heer once he

550
00:27:41,125 --> 00:27:58,085
Speaker 1: goes to Gabe Harry. Governor Morris moved to France in

551
00:27:58,165 --> 00:28:02,125
Speaker 1: seventeen eighty nine, originally as a businessman, and then he

552
00:28:02,205 --> 00:28:08,245
Speaker 1: eventually became the American Minister to France in seventeen So

553
00:28:08,365 --> 00:28:11,085
Speaker 1: while he's in France, it's in the throes of revolution

554
00:28:11,285 --> 00:28:17,045
Speaker 1: and its aftermath. But again, despite a revolution happening all

555
00:28:17,045 --> 00:28:22,965
Speaker 1: around him, Governor finds plenty of time for leisure. When

556
00:28:23,005 --> 00:28:26,045
Speaker 1: he arrived in France, he developed a terrific reputation with

557
00:28:26,085 --> 00:28:29,925
Speaker 1: the ladies. He was invited to their salons where women

558
00:28:29,925 --> 00:28:32,805
Speaker 1: would talk wittily about books and romance and go t

559
00:28:32,925 --> 00:28:37,685
Speaker 1: he and ha ha ha aren't we clever? One French

560
00:28:37,685 --> 00:28:43,405
Speaker 1: woman of the Salon culture said, his imagination inclines to pleasantry.

561
00:28:43,525 --> 00:28:48,365
Speaker 1: It is impossible not to be delighted. Another woman said,

562
00:28:48,685 --> 00:28:53,285
Speaker 1: Governor Morris kept us in continual smile, and let's just

563
00:28:53,325 --> 00:28:59,125
Speaker 1: say those were the only lips he kept smiling. When

564
00:28:59,165 --> 00:29:02,525
Speaker 1: he's in France, Governor keeps a vivid diary of everything

565
00:29:02,565 --> 00:29:05,405
Speaker 1: that's happening. And the diary is filled with his script

566
00:29:05,805 --> 00:29:08,845
Speaker 1: of the War of Revolution, of the politics, but is

567
00:29:09,005 --> 00:29:13,565
Speaker 1: also filled with innuendos about sex. Here are some of

568
00:29:13,605 --> 00:29:17,965
Speaker 1: the things he would call sex, the act, the operation, communicate,

569
00:29:18,005 --> 00:29:23,325
Speaker 1: the joy, the usual amusement, loves, disport, highmenial rights, joining

570
00:29:23,365 --> 00:29:29,645
Speaker 1: in fervent admiration to the Cyprian queen, celebrating. And one

571
00:29:29,645 --> 00:29:32,125
Speaker 1: thing I like about him is that he says mutual

572
00:29:32,245 --> 00:29:37,845
Speaker 1: pleasure and we embrace him mutual satisfaction, which, through great

573
00:29:38,005 --> 00:29:41,045
Speaker 1: historical analysis that I'm making right now, I'm pretty sure

574
00:29:41,085 --> 00:29:43,365
Speaker 1: that means that he would make the ladies come. What

575
00:29:43,485 --> 00:29:47,885
Speaker 1: a good sport. Oh yeah, And in France he not

576
00:29:47,925 --> 00:29:50,645
Speaker 1: only banged, but it also appears that he liked to

577
00:29:50,725 --> 00:29:56,845
Speaker 1: bang in public. Like one time he wrote, immediately I

578
00:29:56,925 --> 00:29:59,925
Speaker 1: take Madame on my lap and at the imminent risk

579
00:29:59,965 --> 00:30:05,845
Speaker 1: of discovery by two doors in one window, perform the act. Now.

580
00:30:05,925 --> 00:30:08,885
Speaker 1: Governor had many sex capades, more than we can know

581
00:30:09,205 --> 00:30:13,205
Speaker 1: because there aren't records about all of them, obviously, but

582
00:30:13,285 --> 00:30:15,805
Speaker 1: the ones he records in his diary, a lot of

583
00:30:15,805 --> 00:30:18,725
Speaker 1: them are with one special lady that he met in France.

584
00:30:19,285 --> 00:30:23,445
Speaker 1: Her name was Adelaide Filieu conteste Flaut. Most people just

585
00:30:23,485 --> 00:30:26,645
Speaker 1: called her Adele. She was a very chic lady, would

586
00:30:26,685 --> 00:30:30,645
Speaker 1: host trey sheikh salons. Governor and Adele met in seventeen

587
00:30:30,685 --> 00:30:32,925
Speaker 1: eighty nine. At the time, she was twenty eight and

588
00:30:32,965 --> 00:30:35,685
Speaker 1: he was thirty seven, and when they met, Morris wrote

589
00:30:35,685 --> 00:30:45,725
Speaker 1: about her that she was a most pleasing woman. Unfortunately

590
00:30:45,725 --> 00:30:48,285
Speaker 1: for him, she was married to the sixty three year

591
00:30:48,325 --> 00:30:51,605
Speaker 1: old keeper of the King's garden. But that dude wasn't

592
00:30:51,645 --> 00:30:54,845
Speaker 1: really an issue. The real issue was Adele's other lover,

593
00:30:55,285 --> 00:30:59,725
Speaker 1: the Bishop Chaoles Maris de Dadi conte Rigaux. Most peoples

594
00:30:59,765 --> 00:31:04,325
Speaker 1: called him tally Rand. Governor didn't like him. He said

595
00:31:04,365 --> 00:31:07,525
Speaker 1: he was sly, cool, cunning and ambitious. He was smart,

596
00:31:07,565 --> 00:31:09,445
Speaker 1: but he also gambled and was a little bit lazy,

597
00:31:10,165 --> 00:31:12,525
Speaker 1: and he also had a disability. He had a childhood

598
00:31:12,565 --> 00:31:15,485
Speaker 1: injury that had crumpled his right foot, so he had

599
00:31:15,525 --> 00:31:17,725
Speaker 1: to wear this round shoe with a middle rod up it.

600
00:31:18,685 --> 00:31:20,565
Speaker 1: And it was rumored that the bishop was actually the

601
00:31:20,605 --> 00:31:24,445
Speaker 1: father of Adele's son. And yeah, so governors really did

602
00:31:24,525 --> 00:31:27,965
Speaker 1: not like him, he wrote, I know not why conclusions

603
00:31:28,045 --> 00:31:30,805
Speaker 1: so disadvantageous to him are formed in my mind, but

604
00:31:31,005 --> 00:31:34,645
Speaker 1: so it is basically IDK, I don't like him, but

605
00:31:34,645 --> 00:31:43,845
Speaker 1: I don't but despite the bishop, despite the husband, Adele

606
00:31:43,925 --> 00:31:46,285
Speaker 1: and Governor banged for the first time on July twenty seventh,

607
00:31:46,325 --> 00:31:50,685
Speaker 1: seventeen eighty nine. And they banged everywhere. They banged an

608
00:31:50,685 --> 00:31:53,565
Speaker 1: Adele's former convent, in a carriage and her apartments while

609
00:31:53,605 --> 00:31:57,205
Speaker 1: her niece was reading in the window seat. She was

610
00:31:57,245 --> 00:31:59,405
Speaker 1: a lady. He was banging the foyer when all the

611
00:31:59,445 --> 00:32:03,085
Speaker 1: guests were about to arrive. And as their relationship developed,

612
00:32:03,445 --> 00:32:05,885
Speaker 1: it became clear that Governor was more into to Adele

613
00:32:05,965 --> 00:32:09,765
Speaker 1: then Adele was into him. She had told him that

614
00:32:09,845 --> 00:32:12,325
Speaker 1: she had stopped seeing the bishop, but Governor would still

615
00:32:12,365 --> 00:32:14,925
Speaker 1: try to play hard to get because, as he wrote,

616
00:32:15,245 --> 00:32:19,525
Speaker 1: anxiety may keep her passion alive. Playing some fuck boy

617
00:32:19,605 --> 00:32:23,245
Speaker 1: games right here. But you know. To be fair, Adele

618
00:32:23,405 --> 00:32:25,805
Speaker 1: might have just seen him as a security blanket. He

619
00:32:26,005 --> 00:32:30,085
Speaker 1: was a rich, powerful American and unstable France, and if

620
00:32:30,125 --> 00:32:32,645
Speaker 1: she needed to flee at some point, he probably could

621
00:32:32,645 --> 00:32:36,325
Speaker 1: help pay her way out of France to safety. So yeah,

622
00:32:36,605 --> 00:32:40,405
Speaker 1: his relationship it's a little toxic. But he also had

623
00:32:40,445 --> 00:32:43,005
Speaker 1: plenty of ways to distract himself with his business affairs

624
00:32:43,045 --> 00:32:49,965
Speaker 1: and with the politics of France at the time. And

625
00:32:50,045 --> 00:32:53,085
Speaker 1: even though Governor was a founding father of America the

626
00:32:53,205 --> 00:32:55,885
Speaker 1: Land of Independence, he was a big old scent for

627
00:32:56,005 --> 00:32:59,445
Speaker 1: the French nobility. He thought that the masses wouldn't know

628
00:32:59,445 --> 00:33:02,165
Speaker 1: how to govern France. He thought that the French were

629
00:33:02,245 --> 00:33:05,085
Speaker 1: very disorderly and said it would be impossible for such

630
00:33:05,125 --> 00:33:07,845
Speaker 1: a mob to govern the country. And he thought that

631
00:33:07,885 --> 00:33:11,565
Speaker 1: the French intellectuals were out of touch with reality and

632
00:33:11,765 --> 00:33:15,845
Speaker 1: called the people supremely depraved and devilish and wicked. You know,

633
00:33:16,045 --> 00:33:18,685
Speaker 1: unlike the Americans drinking five shots a day and going

634
00:33:18,725 --> 00:33:27,725
Speaker 1: to the brothels, those American degenerates were different. In seventeen ninety,

635
00:33:27,885 --> 00:33:30,365
Speaker 1: Governor had to go on a trip to London. At

636
00:33:30,405 --> 00:33:32,925
Speaker 1: first he postponed it because he thought Adele might be

637
00:33:33,005 --> 00:33:36,245
Speaker 1: pregnant and he was like, wahaha, that means she might

638
00:33:36,365 --> 00:33:38,365
Speaker 1: like me more. But alas that was not the case.

639
00:33:38,445 --> 00:33:41,685
Speaker 1: She was not pregnant. So away he went to do

640
00:33:41,805 --> 00:33:44,205
Speaker 1: his business, to do his political affairs, la ba la la.

641
00:33:46,165 --> 00:33:48,125
Speaker 1: And when he got back eight months later to France,

642
00:33:48,445 --> 00:33:52,525
Speaker 1: he went to Adele's departments and there he found yet

643
00:33:52,605 --> 00:33:56,965
Speaker 1: another man, a dude named Lord Henry Wycombe, who was

644
00:33:57,005 --> 00:34:00,365
Speaker 1: also very rich, and Adele was like, Governor, I think

645
00:34:00,405 --> 00:34:03,885
Speaker 1: I just want to be friends, and Governor was devastated.

646
00:34:04,765 --> 00:34:07,325
Speaker 1: He was like, my is torn with anxiety, and I

647
00:34:07,485 --> 00:34:09,525
Speaker 1: find in my left arm as well as in my

648
00:34:09,725 --> 00:34:13,885
Speaker 1: left breast a physical sense of grief. He also assumed

649
00:34:13,885 --> 00:34:15,725
Speaker 1: at that point that she was also still seeing the

650
00:34:15,845 --> 00:34:23,685
Speaker 1: nasty bishop, but you know, a lover's heart is fickle.

651
00:34:25,165 --> 00:34:27,245
Speaker 1: And when Governor was in France, he discovered that one

652
00:34:27,285 --> 00:34:30,325
Speaker 1: of his associates in London had stolen fifteen thousand pounds

653
00:34:30,365 --> 00:34:32,525
Speaker 1: from him, and he had to return to London to

654
00:34:32,605 --> 00:34:35,405
Speaker 1: sort it out, and Adele felt so bad for him.

655
00:34:35,525 --> 00:34:37,245
Speaker 1: She was like, I'll give you all my money. I'm

656
00:34:37,325 --> 00:34:40,325
Speaker 1: so sorry this happened to you. And then when he

657
00:34:40,365 --> 00:34:43,485
Speaker 1: got back from London again, they banged, even though they

658
00:34:43,525 --> 00:34:46,325
Speaker 1: got interrupted by someone who came in quote so abruptly

659
00:34:46,445 --> 00:34:52,165
Speaker 1: as to derange our closing moment talk about edging. But

660
00:34:52,285 --> 00:34:55,085
Speaker 1: after that point Governor decided to be more emotionally distant

661
00:34:55,125 --> 00:34:58,165
Speaker 1: with her and decided to see some other people to

662
00:34:58,285 --> 00:35:01,645
Speaker 1: assuage his pain. In the words of Scizza, I fuck

663
00:35:01,685 --> 00:35:06,925
Speaker 1: him because I miss you. Governor became the American Minister

664
00:35:07,045 --> 00:35:09,965
Speaker 1: to France in seventeen ninety two, which you know, a

665
00:35:10,045 --> 00:35:12,925
Speaker 1: lot of Americans opposed because he was a nobility simp.

666
00:35:13,965 --> 00:35:17,885
Speaker 1: Thomas Jefferson called him a high flying monarchy man. Which

667
00:35:17,965 --> 00:35:19,965
Speaker 1: it is true that Governor spent the first few months

668
00:35:20,005 --> 00:35:22,565
Speaker 1: of his position trying to get Louis sixteen out of France.

669
00:35:23,885 --> 00:35:26,165
Speaker 1: And you know, Governor's opinions of the masses really didn't

670
00:35:26,165 --> 00:35:28,325
Speaker 1: get any better during the Reign of Terror, which you

671
00:35:28,365 --> 00:35:30,765
Speaker 1: know basically started in seventeen ninety three. But there was

672
00:35:30,765 --> 00:35:35,165
Speaker 1: already fuck shit happening. In his perspective, the French masses

673
00:35:35,205 --> 00:35:37,685
Speaker 1: were going a little crazy. They were digging up the

674
00:35:37,765 --> 00:35:42,245
Speaker 1: bodies of old monarchs, executing rich people, marching around Perry

675
00:35:42,485 --> 00:35:47,085
Speaker 1: with heads on spikes. Governor was even asked by a

676
00:35:47,165 --> 00:35:49,485
Speaker 1: French quarry owner one time to see if the French

677
00:35:49,605 --> 00:35:52,165
Speaker 1: legislator could get him some money because his quarry had

678
00:35:52,205 --> 00:36:00,685
Speaker 1: become too filled with people's heads. At this point where

679
00:36:00,845 --> 00:36:04,485
Speaker 1: Governor's slutty life kind of takes a turn and instead

680
00:36:04,925 --> 00:36:08,965
Speaker 1: turns to great heartache, he was probably feeling pretty low,

681
00:36:09,085 --> 00:36:11,925
Speaker 1: not only with a terror, but because Adele had been

682
00:36:11,965 --> 00:36:14,285
Speaker 1: able to obtain a passport for her and her son

683
00:36:14,405 --> 00:36:17,965
Speaker 1: to flee France to London. The bishop was also able

684
00:36:18,045 --> 00:36:21,685
Speaker 1: to flee, but her husband, well, he was one of

685
00:36:21,805 --> 00:36:25,405
Speaker 1: the many people to get executed, and you know, once

686
00:36:25,485 --> 00:36:27,965
Speaker 1: the terror was raging, you know, Louis sixteen, he was

687
00:36:28,005 --> 00:36:31,525
Speaker 1: executed at January seventeen ninety three. Governor was having a

688
00:36:31,565 --> 00:36:33,845
Speaker 1: harder and hard time getting Americans and other friends out

689
00:36:33,885 --> 00:36:37,205
Speaker 1: of France. Also, the Americans back home, they started seeing

690
00:36:37,245 --> 00:36:39,445
Speaker 1: him as a failure because he was not able to

691
00:36:39,485 --> 00:36:43,085
Speaker 1: rescue Lafayette, who had been exiled from France and wasn't

692
00:36:43,085 --> 00:36:46,205
Speaker 1: in Austrian prison because oh yeah, France is also at

693
00:36:46,245 --> 00:36:49,125
Speaker 1: war with Austria at this point, Like truly, the French

694
00:36:49,205 --> 00:36:54,845
Speaker 1: Revolution a clusterfuck, just do one thing at once. Also,

695
00:36:54,965 --> 00:36:57,405
Speaker 1: Thomas Paine was in prison and Governor couldn't get him

696
00:36:57,405 --> 00:37:03,765
Speaker 1: out either, So in August seventeen ninety four, a new

697
00:37:03,885 --> 00:37:07,565
Speaker 1: minister to France is appointed and Governor skid daddles out

698
00:37:07,605 --> 00:37:10,285
Speaker 1: of there, but not before taking some of the king's

699
00:37:10,285 --> 00:37:13,365
Speaker 1: furniture with him. In particular, he took this one chair

700
00:37:13,445 --> 00:37:15,525
Speaker 1: that Louis sixteen would set him whenever he would visit

701
00:37:15,645 --> 00:37:18,365
Speaker 1: Marie Antoinette in her apartments. And then he also took

702
00:37:18,445 --> 00:37:26,685
Speaker 1: several bottles of Marie Antoinette's wine. So, yeah, Governor's getting

703
00:37:26,725 --> 00:37:30,605
Speaker 1: out of France. He's not feeling too good. He's seen

704
00:37:30,645 --> 00:37:32,805
Speaker 1: a lot of heads on spikes. That's got to make

705
00:37:32,845 --> 00:37:36,685
Speaker 1: you feel pretty bad. But before going home, he travels

706
00:37:36,725 --> 00:37:39,725
Speaker 1: around Europe for a couple more years for his business affairs,

707
00:37:40,405 --> 00:37:43,005
Speaker 1: and one time, when he's in Germany, he wrote another

708
00:37:43,125 --> 00:37:45,605
Speaker 1: year is added to the mini which have been lost

709
00:37:45,685 --> 00:37:50,885
Speaker 1: in the Abyss of Eternal duration Emma as Hell. He

710
00:37:50,965 --> 00:37:54,005
Speaker 1: saw a Dell again in seventeen ninety five, after two

711
00:37:54,045 --> 00:37:57,525
Speaker 1: and a half years of not seeing her. Dell had

712
00:37:57,565 --> 00:38:00,725
Speaker 1: been girl bossing as a romance novelist in London, but

713
00:38:00,845 --> 00:38:03,805
Speaker 1: it's likely that Governor had also been her sugar daddy

714
00:38:04,285 --> 00:38:08,845
Speaker 1: during this time. Anyway, she moved to Hamburg, where Governor was,

715
00:38:09,205 --> 00:38:10,925
Speaker 1: and lived in a house that he leased for her,

716
00:38:12,445 --> 00:38:14,125
Speaker 1: and then he had to go back to London for

717
00:38:14,245 --> 00:38:17,285
Speaker 1: some business stuff, and while he was there, he heard

718
00:38:17,325 --> 00:38:20,205
Speaker 1: that she had become engaged to a Portuguese ambassador and

719
00:38:20,405 --> 00:38:24,045
Speaker 1: was like the fuck. So he went back to Hamburg

720
00:38:24,085 --> 00:38:25,805
Speaker 1: and it was like, what the hell are you doing?

721
00:38:25,885 --> 00:38:28,445
Speaker 1: I pay for your whole lifestyle. Well, we actually have

722
00:38:28,525 --> 00:38:30,685
Speaker 1: no idea what they talked about, but I'd be a

723
00:38:30,725 --> 00:38:34,245
Speaker 1: little pissed. Then at that point, she didn't actually marry

724
00:38:34,285 --> 00:38:38,645
Speaker 1: a Portuguese ambassador, but also she and Governor were really together,

725
00:38:39,525 --> 00:38:41,165
Speaker 1: and she didn't really seem to want to be with him.

726
00:38:42,085 --> 00:38:43,725
Speaker 1: What she really wanted was she wanted to move back

727
00:38:43,765 --> 00:38:47,405
Speaker 1: to France. So a couple years later, in seventeen ninety seven,

728
00:38:48,525 --> 00:38:58,285
Speaker 1: she moved back and Governor never saw her again. So, yeah, Governor,

729
00:38:58,405 --> 00:39:01,565
Speaker 1: it's getting kind of sad for him. He's feeling a

730
00:39:01,565 --> 00:39:05,685
Speaker 1: little burnt down. I imagine. In seventeen ninety eight, he

731
00:39:05,765 --> 00:39:08,125
Speaker 1: comes back to the United States and he remains a

732
00:39:08,165 --> 00:39:11,645
Speaker 1: bachelor for ten more years. He spent some time rebuilding

733
00:39:11,685 --> 00:39:15,325
Speaker 1: his house Morrisania. He becomes a senator, but then he

734
00:39:15,405 --> 00:39:18,645
Speaker 1: didn't get re elected, but you know, he still hadn't

735
00:39:18,685 --> 00:39:21,805
Speaker 1: lost his charm. He had some other affairs, one with

736
00:39:21,885 --> 00:39:26,445
Speaker 1: a poet who was classic married to another man. But

737
00:39:26,565 --> 00:39:28,845
Speaker 1: something else was getting him down too. And I don't

738
00:39:28,885 --> 00:39:35,165
Speaker 1: mean emotionally, I mean penaisley. Since seventeen ninety four, he

739
00:39:35,365 --> 00:39:39,085
Speaker 1: had been experiencing a weird pain in his wiener own

740
00:39:40,125 --> 00:39:42,125
Speaker 1: Like basically what was happening. His wiener just had a

741
00:39:42,325 --> 00:39:46,805
Speaker 1: disposition to get clogged, like his urethra would get blocked

742
00:39:46,805 --> 00:39:51,525
Speaker 1: and he couldn't urinate, maybe just like a major uti

743
00:39:51,805 --> 00:39:56,525
Speaker 1: or basically what i'll call clogged wiener syndrome. And back

744
00:39:56,565 --> 00:39:59,885
Speaker 1: in his day, like they did have catheters. Benjamin Franklin

745
00:40:00,005 --> 00:40:02,645
Speaker 1: had even innovated a new type of catheter for his brother.

746
00:40:03,845 --> 00:40:07,365
Speaker 1: But Governor Morris developed his own methods for unclogging his pain,

747
00:40:08,125 --> 00:40:09,685
Speaker 1: and I wouldn't say they were great.

748
00:40:10,285 --> 00:40:10,405
Speaker 4: Uh.

749
00:40:10,565 --> 00:40:13,685
Speaker 1: For example, one of Governor's friends wrote that one time

750
00:40:13,885 --> 00:40:17,005
Speaker 1: Governor's wiener had unclogged and that he had used a

751
00:40:17,205 --> 00:40:22,845
Speaker 1: flexible piece of hickory to unclog it. And the thing

752
00:40:22,965 --> 00:40:26,045
Speaker 1: is this DIY approached healthcare, it would lead to his demise.

753
00:40:27,405 --> 00:40:30,605
Speaker 1: So let's pass forward back to eighteen oh nine. He's

754
00:40:30,645 --> 00:40:34,085
Speaker 1: fifty seven, and on Christmas Day, much to the surprise

755
00:40:34,165 --> 00:40:38,245
Speaker 1: of his family, he marries his thirty four year old housekeeper, Nancy,

756
00:40:38,685 --> 00:40:46,525
Speaker 1: just right there at Christmas Supper. The thing about Nancy

757
00:40:46,805 --> 00:40:50,765
Speaker 1: is she was actually a gentle lady from the Virginia aristocracy,

758
00:40:51,685 --> 00:40:54,845
Speaker 1: came from a wealthy family called the Randolphs. But this

759
00:40:55,045 --> 00:40:58,085
Speaker 1: surprise wedding is pretty spicy. And it's also spicy because

760
00:40:58,165 --> 00:41:01,565
Speaker 1: before Nancy had married Governor, she was accused of having

761
00:41:01,565 --> 00:41:04,805
Speaker 1: a baby with another man who happened to be her

762
00:41:04,845 --> 00:41:10,125
Speaker 1: sister's husban. And then the baby mysteriously died, and then

763
00:41:10,805 --> 00:41:15,765
Speaker 1: the sister's husband mysteriously died. No, but Nancy Governer, they

764
00:41:15,765 --> 00:41:17,445
Speaker 1: seem to have a good life together. They have a

765
00:41:17,565 --> 00:41:22,925
Speaker 1: child named Governor Junior. You know, he's helping build plans

766
00:41:23,005 --> 00:41:26,045
Speaker 1: for New York City, the building of the Erie Canal,

767
00:41:27,285 --> 00:41:30,805
Speaker 1: And then, confusingly, during the War of eighteen twelve, Governor

768
00:41:30,925 --> 00:41:33,725
Speaker 1: is like, I think the Constitution is garbage. We should

769
00:41:33,725 --> 00:41:38,045
Speaker 1: tear it up and break up the nation. But this

770
00:41:38,125 --> 00:41:40,445
Speaker 1: whole time, Governor's wiener is giving him lots of pain,

771
00:41:40,805 --> 00:41:45,765
Speaker 1: and he's also inherited some zesty gout. It's eighteen sixteen,

772
00:41:46,085 --> 00:41:50,125
Speaker 1: he's sixty four, and one fatal day, he gets another blockage,

773
00:41:50,565 --> 00:41:55,165
Speaker 1: and he decided to yet again unclog his wiener DIY style. Granted,

774
00:41:55,245 --> 00:41:58,125
Speaker 1: he had tried a variety of homeopathic methods to get

775
00:41:58,165 --> 00:42:00,765
Speaker 1: his wi wi unlocked, none of which had helped him.

776
00:42:01,765 --> 00:42:05,525
Speaker 1: So this time, instead of hickory, he decides to he

777
00:42:05,605 --> 00:42:08,125
Speaker 1: was a piece of whalebone, and some people think he

778
00:42:08,205 --> 00:42:12,125
Speaker 1: got the whalebone from his wife, Nancy's corset. And again

779
00:42:12,245 --> 00:42:15,005
Speaker 1: he took his DIY catheter like he had done before,

780
00:42:15,125 --> 00:42:18,845
Speaker 1: to unclog his pen but unfortunately, this time it appears

781
00:42:18,885 --> 00:42:21,525
Speaker 1: to have only made the problem worse and gave him

782
00:42:21,725 --> 00:42:27,405
Speaker 1: an infection. And governknew this wasn't good. In hissiary, he

783
00:42:27,525 --> 00:42:30,925
Speaker 1: wrote he was descending with hottering steps to the bottom

784
00:42:31,205 --> 00:42:35,605
Speaker 1: of life's hill, and indeed he died on November sixth,

785
00:42:36,005 --> 00:42:38,285
Speaker 1: eighteen sixteen, at the age of sixty four from the infection.

786
00:42:45,405 --> 00:42:48,125
Speaker 1: Some people think that his blockages could have come from

787
00:42:48,165 --> 00:42:50,725
Speaker 1: the fact that he might have had prostate cancer, but

788
00:42:51,005 --> 00:42:54,165
Speaker 1: we'll never know for sure. But I like to think

789
00:42:54,725 --> 00:42:56,765
Speaker 1: the Governor had banged so much in his life that

790
00:42:56,845 --> 00:42:59,605
Speaker 1: his penis just gave out. So to all the slutty

791
00:42:59,645 --> 00:43:03,925
Speaker 1: fellows out there, just watch out. Learn a lesson from Governor. Also,

792
00:43:04,965 --> 00:43:06,965
Speaker 1: if you want to get with women, maybe lose a leg.

793
00:43:07,445 --> 00:43:12,925
Speaker 1: This is American Filth. American Filth is a production of

794
00:43:12,965 --> 00:43:15,845
Speaker 1: School of Humans and iHeart Podcasts. It's hosted by me,

795
00:43:16,125 --> 00:43:18,525
Speaker 1: Gabby Watts. I wrote this episode. I sound designed it.

796
00:43:18,965 --> 00:43:21,045
Speaker 1: That's why it sounds so amazing. Thank you so much.

797
00:43:21,925 --> 00:43:24,725
Speaker 1: The theme song was by me and Jesse Niswanger. The

798
00:43:24,845 --> 00:43:28,685
Speaker 1: executive producers are Virginia Prescott, Elsie Crowley, and Brandon Barr.

799
00:43:29,245 --> 00:43:31,205
Speaker 1: You can follow along with the show at American Filth

800
00:43:31,245 --> 00:43:35,605
Speaker 1: pod on Instagram. Please follow, like, subscribe, leave a review

801
00:43:35,685 --> 00:43:38,325
Speaker 1: about the pod. I would really appreciate it, even if

802
00:43:38,325 --> 00:43:40,365
Speaker 1: it's a terrible review. But if it's a terrible review,

803
00:43:41,045 --> 00:43:43,765
Speaker 1: just try and make it really funny. Okay, So guys,

804
00:43:44,485 --> 00:43:45,885
Speaker 1: Christian next time, Bang Young