1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,360
Speaker 1: Bugle up, hold on tight, we got it for you here.

2
00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:06,760
Speaker 1: It is a strawberry letter subject to shock or not

3
00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:09,799
Speaker 1: to shock. I am twenty five years old and just

4
00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:12,479
Speaker 1: graduated from college. Just started my career in August with

5
00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:15,280
Speaker 1: a great company. I've only been with a company for

6
00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:17,599
Speaker 1: five months and just found out that I'm pregnant. My

7
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:20,400
Speaker 1: boyfriend of three years is currently living out of state,

8
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,520
Speaker 1: but is just accepted in a position with an equally

9
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:26,960
Speaker 1: great company near me. We have already been discussing him

10
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,640
Speaker 1: moving up here and us getting married in the future,

11
00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:32,080
Speaker 1: but now that I'm pregnant, we decided to move the

12
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:35,360
Speaker 1: wedding date up to next year. Now here's the issue.

13
00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:38,040
Speaker 1: He wants me to move in with him since I'm pregnant.

14
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:40,640
Speaker 1: He is very adamant about having his family all under

15
00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:44,400
Speaker 1: one roof. My family is telling me not to move

16
00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:47,240
Speaker 1: in with him because we are not yet married. His family,

17
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,199
Speaker 1: on the other hand, is saying we should move in

18
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:52,680
Speaker 1: together because we are going to be a family now.

19
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,200
Speaker 1: I do not doubt for a minute that he is

20
00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,360
Speaker 1: going to marry me. I have known him for four

21
00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,600
Speaker 1: years now, and I know him to be a man

22
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,320
Speaker 1: of his word. He said to me if I'm asking

23
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:04,399
Speaker 1: you to move in with me, it's because I am

24
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,160
Speaker 1: ready to make that next step, and I truly believe

25
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:09,320
Speaker 1: that he is. But we have still decided to wait

26
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,640
Speaker 1: until next year to make that next step. Some of

27
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,720
Speaker 1: my family said that we should go to the courthouse,

28
00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:16,760
Speaker 1: we should just go to the courthouse, but I feel

29
00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,560
Speaker 1: like we will be doing that just so I can

30
00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:21,840
Speaker 1: move in with him, and we already decided to wait

31
00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:24,600
Speaker 1: until next year. We have a place set up, and

32
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,080
Speaker 1: we have been looking at rings and discussing our budget

33
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,880
Speaker 1: for everything. Also, I do not want to rush to

34
00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:33,080
Speaker 1: do everything at once. He's starting a new job, moving

35
00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:35,520
Speaker 1: to a new area, and we're having a baby, then

36
00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,200
Speaker 1: adding getting married and moving in together all at the

37
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:41,280
Speaker 1: same time. I know we're already I know we already

38
00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:43,640
Speaker 1: have three out of five going on, but I am

39
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:47,480
Speaker 1: afraid of adding more stress because we really do not

40
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,120
Speaker 1: know what we're getting into. We're only twenty five years old.

41
00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,680
Speaker 1: I'm stuck at a cross roads because no matter what

42
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:59,160
Speaker 1: decision I make, I will be disappointing someone. I know

43
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,480
Speaker 1: it's my life and I have to make my own decisions.

44
00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:04,000
Speaker 1: But all my life I have been the good one

45
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,560
Speaker 1: I've always done what what I was told, always strove

46
00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:11,440
Speaker 1: to make everyone around me happy with my actions and decisions.

47
00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:14,480
Speaker 1: I do not want to begin feeling like me getting

48
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:17,920
Speaker 1: pregnant is destroying everyone else's life. This is truly a blessing,

49
00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:21,800
Speaker 1: even though it was not done the traditional way. I

50
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:24,359
Speaker 1: know he still plans on marrying me either way, but

51
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,799
Speaker 1: I will cause a lot of strain, but it will

52
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:28,640
Speaker 1: cause a lot of strain in our relationship if I

53
00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:31,440
Speaker 1: do not move in and thinking about our future. I

54
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:34,000
Speaker 1: do not want to cause any extra stress on a relationship.

55
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,160
Speaker 1: I think we have enough as it is right now

56
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,359
Speaker 1: with distant pregnancy, marriage, and soon a baby. So my

57
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:41,760
Speaker 1: question is should I move in with him and upset

58
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,200
Speaker 1: my family or not move in with him and upset

59
00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:47,840
Speaker 1: my soon to be family. Okay, you know here's my answer.

60
00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:50,640
Speaker 1: Just like this. You are twenty five, You're a grown woman.

61
00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:52,799
Speaker 1: You only have to answer to yourself and God. As

62
00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,520
Speaker 1: far as I'm concerned, I think your family and his

63
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:58,600
Speaker 1: family are way too into the business. You guys do

64
00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:01,280
Speaker 1: have a lot going on. The pregnant see distance, uh,

65
00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:03,840
Speaker 1: new careers, etcetera. You say you know he's a man

66
00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:06,440
Speaker 1: of his word. He says he wants all his family

67
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,079
Speaker 1: under one roof. He's ready to make the next step.

68
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,079
Speaker 1: Under other circumstances, you know, I would say, yeah, wait

69
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:14,399
Speaker 1: for a ring and a proposal, but this is this

70
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,359
Speaker 1: is different. You know you didn't do it the traditional way.

71
00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:21,120
Speaker 1: You are making wedding plans, baby plans, and career plans.

72
00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:25,440
Speaker 1: Life is moving fast for you. Stop worrying about disappointing anyone.

73
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:27,680
Speaker 1: You have to do what's right for you and your

74
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,600
Speaker 1: family now. So if you guys love each other and

75
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,480
Speaker 1: are committed, then I say move with him, get married,

76
00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:41,480
Speaker 1: and start your lives together the end. Steve. Yeah, I

77
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,680
Speaker 1: see a little bit different here. I know you do

78
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,560
Speaker 1: my whole answer. When I come back, I see it

79
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,760
Speaker 1: totally different. I see I see what Shirley is seeing

80
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:55,160
Speaker 1: in it, and she's right, I see something else. Well, yeah,

81
00:03:56,840 --> 00:04:02,360
Speaker 1: is O own t After that? All right, we'll have

82
00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,000
Speaker 1: part two of Steve's response coming up. All right, Steve,

83
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,280
Speaker 1: come on, let's get to part two of your response

84
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:11,800
Speaker 1: to today's Strawberry letter. Just really kind of a seat

85
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,160
Speaker 1: through for me, y'all of y'alld to y'ada y'all a

86
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:16,400
Speaker 1: lot of Let me just tell you what I think.

87
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,640
Speaker 1: Let me just get to this. This whole thing is

88
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:23,960
Speaker 1: a mess system. What do you want in all of

89
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,400
Speaker 1: this mess? What do you want? You know you simplify

90
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,279
Speaker 1: all of this with what you want. It don't sound

91
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,400
Speaker 1: to me like you know what even you want, because

92
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,040
Speaker 1: you've admitted you've lived your whole life according to other

93
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:39,839
Speaker 1: people's whims and wishes, and now I don't hear nothing

94
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:43,000
Speaker 1: in here about what you want. It sounded to me

95
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:47,320
Speaker 1: like you're scared to getting married. You if if you're pregnant. Look,

96
00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,800
Speaker 1: you got this new position, You've only been there five months.

97
00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:53,599
Speaker 1: Now you know you're pregnant. Now, let me just throw

98
00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:58,039
Speaker 1: this at you, as what they say politically correct, as

99
00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,120
Speaker 1: this world tries to be. You on a brand new

100
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,120
Speaker 1: job with a great company, all of a sudden you're

101
00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:10,320
Speaker 1: pregnant and ain't married. The old fogy population frowns on

102
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:15,599
Speaker 1: that even today. Uh. Now, your man move into the area,

103
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:18,040
Speaker 1: wants you to move in with him. You're fighting that

104
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:21,400
Speaker 1: because you don't want to add no stress to the relationship. Then,

105
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,679
Speaker 1: on top of all of this, you say, we only

106
00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:26,119
Speaker 1: twenty five, we don't even know what we're getting into.

107
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:30,880
Speaker 1: This whole letter is one confusing statement after the next.

108
00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:34,560
Speaker 1: What you need to do, young lady's find out for

109
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:38,440
Speaker 1: yourself what it is you want? Why are you delaying

110
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,359
Speaker 1: a marriage and you already five months pregnant? Do you

111
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:45,520
Speaker 1: not get it yet? Life is not ever going to

112
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:49,839
Speaker 1: be perfect. There's no perfect time, no perfect situation. See

113
00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:52,200
Speaker 1: what life do is? Life? Just keep dealing them cars.

114
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,560
Speaker 1: Life don't care if you tie to getting them. Life

115
00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:58,000
Speaker 1: don't care if you don't get all aces. You're just

116
00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:01,599
Speaker 1: gonna get your cards. It's your turn. Life just deals

117
00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,440
Speaker 1: the card, and when it comes around your turn, you

118
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,960
Speaker 1: get your next card. Ready or not? Here come to card?

119
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:10,280
Speaker 1: Ready to get married or not here? Comes to the proposal?

120
00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:13,240
Speaker 1: Ready for the baby or not here? You are pregnant,

121
00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:15,839
Speaker 1: ready to be in be with this man? Or not

122
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,800
Speaker 1: he moved into a city up there near you? All

123
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,960
Speaker 1: it is your family? Don't want it to happen me?

124
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:25,560
Speaker 1: His family? Do want to? Hell with everybody? What do

125
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,400
Speaker 1: you want? Do you know that you are the most

126
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,600
Speaker 1: important card in this wheel right now? Do you know

127
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,200
Speaker 1: that you are the one that is pregnant right now?

128
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:36,320
Speaker 1: Do you know that you are the one that is

129
00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:38,560
Speaker 1: going to have to carry the baby? Do you know

130
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,520
Speaker 1: that you are the one that's gonna have to suffer

131
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:43,159
Speaker 1: any ridicule from anybody on your job wondering how you

132
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,560
Speaker 1: got pregnant without being married. See you since you in

133
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:49,360
Speaker 1: such a good company, because good company full of good

134
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,760
Speaker 1: people that think they better than most people who think

135
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:54,680
Speaker 1: they were righteous. So now get ready for the ridicule,

136
00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:57,880
Speaker 1: because guess what that's coming to now? As if fair? No,

137
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:01,480
Speaker 1: but that's just the way human beings. How she set

138
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,640
Speaker 1: up here and got herselves pregnant, just got this job

139
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:06,279
Speaker 1: five months, got all this education, ain't got enough sense

140
00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:08,760
Speaker 1: to protect ourselves? Who is this man? The people that

141
00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:11,960
Speaker 1: the company ain't met your boyfriend, because guess what, y'all

142
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,480
Speaker 1: live in a in a far away place. So not

143
00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:17,880
Speaker 1: they're gonna pass judgment on you, whether you want them

144
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,880
Speaker 1: to or not. That Oh, I'm gonna get mad he

145
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,360
Speaker 1: loved me? Who is he? Now? All they're gonna be

146
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,960
Speaker 1: saying at the company party, this Christ? Where he at?

147
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:28,760
Speaker 1: Who is he? If the man want to marry you

148
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,320
Speaker 1: and move in, let's let me say it's good enough

149
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,200
Speaker 1: to move in with you. Good enough to man, you

150
00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:36,360
Speaker 1: might as well just going to get with it. Baby.

151
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:40,920
Speaker 1: Welcome to adulthood. They are not gidiot, all right, Steve,

152
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,800
Speaker 1: we gotta get out of here. You can email us

153
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:46,080
Speaker 1: or Instagram what's your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter at

154
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,720
Speaker 1: my Girls Shirley and please please please join me this

155
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:53,200
Speaker 1: Thursday for we are back with the after show Strawberry

156
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,520
Speaker 1: Letter live on Facebook at one thirty pm Eastern Time.

157
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,720
Speaker 1: You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show