1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:02,440 Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea. 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,400 Speaker 2: What are we doing on YouTube now, Catherine? Airing are 3 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:07,040 Speaker 2: full episodes or yeps? 4 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:10,720 Speaker 3: We have full episodes available on YouTube as well as 5 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:14,239 Speaker 3: some older episodes that we're putting out now. So check 6 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,400 Speaker 3: for the weekly episode. They go up on Thursdays, just 7 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:19,640 Speaker 3: like the podcast, and you know we throw in an 8 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 3: extra old episode for funzies. 9 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:23,200 Speaker 4: Great well, great, okay, yes. 10 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 2: People ask all the time where they can watch the podcast, 11 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,160 Speaker 2: so now you can watch it and it's the full episodes, 12 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,080 Speaker 2: right Catherine. 13 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:30,920 Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, oh great, this is awesome. 14 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:32,199 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna love it. 15 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:32,839 Speaker 4: Chelsea. 16 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:35,720 Speaker 3: I know you're here prepping for the Critics' Choice Awards 17 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:36,560 Speaker 3: and you've got. 18 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,159 Speaker 1: Your new book coming out if people want to pre 19 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:38,559 Speaker 1: order it. 20 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,520 Speaker 2: I have a book coming out. I'll have what she's 21 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:43,680 Speaker 2: having ready for pre order. Comes out of my fiftieth birthday, everybody, 22 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:44,680 Speaker 2: February twenty fifth. 23 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,280 Speaker 3: Well Tofer Grace is here to talk about his new movie, 24 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,760 Speaker 3: Flight Risk. So let's just get into it, shall we. 25 00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:52,559 Speaker 4: To for It's so nice to see you. Congratulations on 26 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 4: your new movie. 27 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,440 Speaker 2: First of all, I want to congratulate you on making 28 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,680 Speaker 2: such a transition for but you have so many hats 29 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,640 Speaker 2: that you can play comedian. 30 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 4: Now you're an action star. 31 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 2: Well you started out as a comedy actor, but you've 32 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 2: done a lot more serious stuff since then, So I 33 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 2: wanted to congratulate you on that full spectrum of work. 34 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:11,680 Speaker 5: Thank you. 35 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 6: I don't think anyone thinks I'm an action star, Chelsea. 36 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 6: But it was interesting when I got the call for 37 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:19,679 Speaker 6: this because I thought, oh my god, I'm actually gonna 38 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 6: be in one of these. 39 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 5: And then I remember. 40 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:25,520 Speaker 6: Thinking, I'm gonna listen to like the Mission Impossible theme 41 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 6: song on the way to work, and I'm gonna like 42 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 6: I tried going to the gym a little bit more, 43 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:31,520 Speaker 6: and then like day one, I was like, oh, I'm 44 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:33,640 Speaker 6: not cut out for this, Like, but it's lucky because 45 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:34,600 Speaker 6: my character is kind of a whim. 46 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 2: Yes, first of all, a lot of interesting people are 47 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,959 Speaker 2: in the movie with you. The movie is directed by 48 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,039 Speaker 2: Mel Gibson. Is that who made who called you to 49 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:44,320 Speaker 2: offer you the role Mel Gibson? 50 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean, and he knows from action movies and also, 51 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 6: you know, kind of comedic action movies, so I think 52 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 6: he There are a lot of directors who have worked 53 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:56,440 Speaker 6: with no matter what the genre, who are a little 54 00:01:56,480 --> 00:02:00,280 Speaker 6: bit scared to You've probably had experiences like this, Chelsea 55 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 6: where it's like you want to add some humor and 56 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 6: they're like, ooh, that's not the tone, and you go, 57 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,240 Speaker 6: I've seen action movies and horror movies you know, that 58 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:09,960 Speaker 6: have great humor in it, but it really takes a 59 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,639 Speaker 6: master to know how to put something that's totally different 60 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:15,320 Speaker 6: than what would be in the trailer like in the film. 61 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,679 Speaker 5: And then basically my agents. 62 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:19,079 Speaker 6: Called and said, like, Mark Welberg is doing an action 63 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:20,760 Speaker 6: movie and there are only two other people in it, 64 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 6: and you're gonna be one of them. And I went like, finally, 65 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 6: you know, like he must be dying to do that, 66 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,120 Speaker 6: you know, like we've been talking for a long time. 67 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,720 Speaker 4: Me and Mark, I'm sure, yeah, and we finally did. 68 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 5: This is the one, you know what I mean. 69 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,240 Speaker 4: And similar physicalities as well as. 70 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,240 Speaker 6: That is our issue was are people going to be 71 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 6: able to tell who's who. 72 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 4: Who is stronger? 73 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:43,120 Speaker 5: You know what I mean? Like is it like are 74 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 5: these guys twins? Or like what's up? 75 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:48,799 Speaker 6: So we finally yeah, No, it was it was a 76 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:50,679 Speaker 6: like a real journey for me. 77 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 5: I'm sure it was like just another day at the 78 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,280 Speaker 5: office for Mark. 79 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:55,120 Speaker 2: It's nice to be on a set, I think, with 80 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:58,200 Speaker 2: a small group of people rather than having a massive set, 81 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,239 Speaker 2: because this takes place on most of the movie takes 82 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:03,920 Speaker 2: place on a smaller aircraft with a lot of mafiosa input. 83 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:06,800 Speaker 6: Well, what's like genius about the idea it was like 84 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:09,400 Speaker 6: a Blacklist script. I remember I read it actually before 85 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,919 Speaker 6: it was put together. Is that it's like life raft 86 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:15,520 Speaker 6: or lifeboat, you know that Hitchcock movie where everyone's you know, 87 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 6: it all takes place in one place, but the vistas 88 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,679 Speaker 6: are amazing, So you're like trapped in this little thing. 89 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 5: But instead of being like in a phone. 90 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:26,200 Speaker 6: Booth or like a coffin or something, you're actually up 91 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:31,400 Speaker 6: above the Alaskan wilderness and there's incredible shots. And I 92 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:33,360 Speaker 6: knew even before we did it, like, oh, this could 93 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:36,760 Speaker 6: be both like very intimate and very like cinematic. 94 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 4: Did you get banged up during that shoot? 95 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,560 Speaker 2: Shooting in a small like tiny space of an area, 96 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 2: I would imagine that you dus was awful. 97 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 5: It was awful, right right. 98 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,680 Speaker 6: I got hurt, like just like getting in the first 99 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,640 Speaker 6: day because I realized you can't even stand up in 100 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 6: that thing, which is crazy. 101 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 5: And then your three stories up on the plane itself 102 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:56,520 Speaker 5: is on a gimbal that. 103 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,920 Speaker 2: Kind of rock and then please don't use that kind 104 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 2: of language tofur What do you mean, kim You know 105 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:03,280 Speaker 2: what I mean, Kimball. 106 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 5: No, It's like. 107 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:06,840 Speaker 6: It's like a sex swing, but for a plane. So 108 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,360 Speaker 6: you've backs, well, they let's it rock back and forth 109 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 6: and do it, and then like not only that, it's 110 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,840 Speaker 6: surrounded by this thing called the volume, which is you know, 111 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,960 Speaker 6: it was created for the Mandalorian, which is like a 112 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:22,120 Speaker 6: almost one hundred and eighty degree screen that the camera 113 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:26,840 Speaker 6: sees is being real. And they've shot footage already of 114 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:30,920 Speaker 6: this plane's journey over Alaska. So it's like and they 115 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:32,840 Speaker 6: shot it. You know, you'd think if you're going over Alaska, 116 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 6: you'd shoot like four cameras northeast, south and west. It's 117 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:40,160 Speaker 6: like they did eight cameras turn on their side, if 118 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 6: that makes sense, so it had more information so you 119 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 6: could actually the plane could fully dive, it could fully 120 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,279 Speaker 6: like rise up towards the sun. And like I remember 121 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 6: day one, I was like, oh, I'm totally plainsick. This 122 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,560 Speaker 6: is awful, and this is the first day of like 123 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:55,919 Speaker 6: three months. I mean, it fully feels like you're in 124 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 6: a plane because the plane's bumping along, and then you're 125 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:01,000 Speaker 6: watching the mountains go past you. And the good thing 126 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 6: about that is it was very little acting required. You 127 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:06,280 Speaker 6: just kind of you know, yeah, you just feel like 128 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:06,840 Speaker 6: it's happening. 129 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:07,680 Speaker 5: Yeah. 130 00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 4: Yeah. 131 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,479 Speaker 2: How do you feel like about when you think about 132 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 2: your career and all the kind of different moves that 133 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 2: you've made since the very beginning. I know that you 134 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 2: got that seventy show like on your first audition, right, Yeah, 135 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:19,760 Speaker 2: it was just. 136 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,400 Speaker 6: It happened in my first audition because they saw me 137 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 6: in a high school play and told me to come audish. 138 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:26,120 Speaker 5: The short version of the. 139 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:29,479 Speaker 6: Story is I was in a high school play that 140 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 6: was bad, but I it was so bad that we 141 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:33,360 Speaker 6: improvised a lot. 142 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,840 Speaker 5: And I think this girl who did the sets, her parents. 143 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 6: Were these big TV producers and they said, when you 144 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,160 Speaker 6: go to USC next year, can we call you? And 145 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:45,160 Speaker 6: I was such a dick about it. I was like, 146 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 6: I don't know what they even meant. So I was like, yeah, 147 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,520 Speaker 6: let's go to Spago, like, have your people call my people. 148 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 5: And then they did actually. 149 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 6: Call me, and and I guess they've been through every 150 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:58,680 Speaker 6: kid in Hollywood and everyone was too cool, and they 151 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:03,920 Speaker 6: wanted a real fucking nerd, like a real like right 152 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 6: like fresh off the tree nerd. And that was my 153 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 6: reality at that time. And then also I remember I 154 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 6: knew nothing about Hollywood. They said, I mean the great 155 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,799 Speaker 6: story from that is she said, bring a head shot 156 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:16,560 Speaker 6: and a resume. And I was like, Okay, I know 157 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:18,680 Speaker 6: what a resume is because I worked at Dunkin Donuts 158 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 6: and at sun Coast Video, But what is a headshot? 159 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:25,160 Speaker 6: And she was like, it's like a picture that goes 160 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,080 Speaker 6: with your resume, that so we know who you are. 161 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:27,880 Speaker 5: And I was like, got it. 162 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,800 Speaker 6: And when I came to the audition, it was like 163 00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 6: I bought a picture of me with my friends at 164 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,160 Speaker 6: six Flags, like. 165 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:37,800 Speaker 2: Of you working at dunkin Donuts. I was like, well, 166 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 2: that sounds like it would be that would. 167 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:41,680 Speaker 5: Track my friends. 168 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:43,360 Speaker 6: It wasn't like the one on the roller coaster where 169 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:44,760 Speaker 6: you're like, you know whatever, but it was like us 170 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 6: in the parking lot and they were like, what who 171 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:47,160 Speaker 6: is this kid? 172 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,599 Speaker 5: But they were really ballsy. They catch all those kids, 173 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:49,800 Speaker 5: you know. 174 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,400 Speaker 6: I Ashton had never worked before and Laura had I 175 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 6: had never worked. We all started work on the same day. 176 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 6: It was crazy Wilmore didn't even speak. 177 00:06:56,960 --> 00:07:00,159 Speaker 2: English really really, Oh that's so fun, I mean, and 178 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 2: it's so fun to like go through that experience all 179 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,480 Speaker 2: of you together, you know, to kind of come up 180 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,640 Speaker 2: and learn all of that together, like in a class, 181 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 2: because that's essentially what it ended up being, was kind 182 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:12,800 Speaker 2: of like an acting class for a lot of you. 183 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:17,520 Speaker 6: Yes, And what's great about sitcom is you when you're bad, 184 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 6: which you know I was at the beginning, you get 185 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 6: to come back the next week and do it again. 186 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 6: And then to your point about doing things that are 187 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,600 Speaker 6: in different genres, you then you have the summer off 188 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,760 Speaker 6: and so the first thing I did was Traffic if 189 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 6: you remember that movie, which is like totally totally the opposite. 190 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 6: And then you get to still come back and do 191 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 6: the show, so you have a real home base and 192 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 6: you kind of it's like a trade school now that 193 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,560 Speaker 6: I think about it, you know, I know, it. 194 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 4: Kind of sounds like one. 195 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:48,640 Speaker 2: So when you think back and look at like all 196 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 2: of the different things you've done, like did you even 197 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:52,480 Speaker 2: want to be an actor when you were that age 198 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:54,120 Speaker 2: or did you just kind of fall into it? 199 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:57,080 Speaker 6: You know, someone just asking that question recently on this 200 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 6: press stour, and I was like, they said, when did 201 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,000 Speaker 6: you start like enjoying it? And I was like, oh, 202 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,920 Speaker 6: it certainly not at the beginning, because I was so 203 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:06,239 Speaker 6: I mean, look, I liked acting in high school. 204 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:06,960 Speaker 5: That's why I did it. 205 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,000 Speaker 6: And I was tickled that I was going to be 206 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:10,960 Speaker 6: doing it in front of like millions of people. 207 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:12,840 Speaker 5: But I was also like terrified, that's bad. 208 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,000 Speaker 6: You know, you go the scene I just did, eleven 209 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,120 Speaker 6: million people are gonna watch that, like, and I've only 210 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,200 Speaker 6: been in a high school play. 211 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,080 Speaker 5: It was crazy. 212 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,720 Speaker 6: And then I certainly did't think, which is the truth, 213 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:22,920 Speaker 6: it would still be running today. 214 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 5: I mean, it's like it was so much pressure. 215 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 6: Somewhere around the second season, I like chilled out a 216 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,079 Speaker 6: little bit and started to kind of just enjoy myself 217 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,840 Speaker 6: and not be so nervous. And but I'm still you know, 218 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:37,959 Speaker 6: when I'm whenever I finally think I'm good, then I'll 219 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:38,680 Speaker 6: like really relax. 220 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:39,480 Speaker 4: Yeah. 221 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,160 Speaker 2: Do you still get nervous when you go on sets 222 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:42,840 Speaker 2: and it's like the first couple of days are you? 223 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 4: Is that always a thing? 224 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:46,960 Speaker 5: Yeah? Don't you? I mean I think day one is 225 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 5: always tough. I think for everybody. 226 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:51,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say I would say so. I mean, 227 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:54,319 Speaker 2: if you did it, there might be something wrong with you. 228 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:55,560 Speaker 4: Like you have to care. 229 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,960 Speaker 2: You have to care right and in order being nervous 230 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 2: or being like you know, excited. 231 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:02,559 Speaker 5: So you're right, it's about caring. 232 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,880 Speaker 6: It's about carrying a lot and you want it to 233 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:06,439 Speaker 6: be great and you're not in your groove with the 234 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,320 Speaker 6: other it's really because it's a new group of people. 235 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 6: Like when I went back to do the just the 236 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 6: first episode of that nineties show and Laura Prepon, her 237 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:19,280 Speaker 6: friend was on it, and I wasn't nervous at all 238 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:20,680 Speaker 6: with her because she's like my homie. 239 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 5: I've been working with her forever. 240 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:21,840 Speaker 7: You know. 241 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,320 Speaker 4: Right, there's like two things happening. 242 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 2: A you're like trying to make friends with people like 243 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:28,400 Speaker 2: the first day of school, right, and then B you're 244 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,800 Speaker 2: trying to be professional. You have to find allies that 245 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:32,560 Speaker 2: like people who are going to back you up. Like 246 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,520 Speaker 2: whenever I'm in a new environment, I'm like, Okay, who 247 00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 2: are my people? Who are the people that I'm going 248 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:36,719 Speaker 2: to be hanging out with? 249 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 4: And then I can't. 250 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,480 Speaker 5: I can't imagine you nervous. 251 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:42,079 Speaker 6: It's like everyone who's listening right now, can I would 252 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 6: play the guy who is nervous on the first day. 253 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:47,679 Speaker 5: The idea of you being nervous, when are you nervous? 254 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:49,560 Speaker 4: Well, I mean we're all nervous. 255 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 5: I don't no, Chelsea, I'm talking about you like you 256 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 5: are such a boller. 257 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,280 Speaker 2: I have definitely been nervous. I have definitely been nervous. 258 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,040 Speaker 6: When were you the most nervous in your in your 259 00:09:59,040 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 6: professional career? 260 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:04,280 Speaker 2: Uh, I don't know, the most nervous. I mean I 261 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,160 Speaker 2: started to look at nerves as a good thing. And 262 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 2: then when I started to understand that nerves mean that 263 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,360 Speaker 2: you care, then I welcome the nerves, and then all 264 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:13,960 Speaker 2: of a sudden I never got nervous again. 265 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 4: So it's a very strange like cycle. 266 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 2: Like once you kind of acknowledge a negative feeling that 267 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:21,240 Speaker 2: you think or that you have labeled negative, I think 268 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:23,679 Speaker 2: then that can end up being a really good tool 269 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 2: for you to understand it. 270 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:25,640 Speaker 4: Right. 271 00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 2: So, but I have been nervous plenty of times where 272 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,760 Speaker 2: I was, like, you know, sweating before I had to 273 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,400 Speaker 2: walk out stage in front of thousands of. 274 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,040 Speaker 4: People, or had diarrhea, you know, because of my nerves. 275 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 2: Also a good luck I always think that's good luck too, 276 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,199 Speaker 2: when they when you start doing stand up. Everyone's like, 277 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:40,480 Speaker 2: if you have to go to the bathroom before you 278 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:42,400 Speaker 2: go on stage, that's a good sign. I'm like, what 279 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,400 Speaker 2: what do you mean, go to the bathroom like number 280 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,600 Speaker 2: one or like no, number two. I'm like, oh my god, 281 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,960 Speaker 2: this is the career that I've chosen. That's a good 282 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:49,520 Speaker 2: luck sign. 283 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,440 Speaker 6: What I feel the same way with acting. I know 284 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:53,559 Speaker 6: a take was great when I shit myself. 285 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,360 Speaker 4: You know, you know you're invested. 286 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,080 Speaker 5: I go cut and prints. You know that I and 287 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,360 Speaker 5: I have to take it one. 288 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, well you're not alone. Ten one Yeah. 289 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:04,960 Speaker 2: Ten one is code everybody for going to the bathroom 290 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,800 Speaker 2: on a professional Hollywood set or an unprofessional one. Really, 291 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:10,679 Speaker 2: they have ten one and ten two. Ten two means 292 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,080 Speaker 2: you're going to do ten one. 293 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:13,960 Speaker 4: No, it's not. I just make that. 294 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,800 Speaker 5: I mean I didn't know that, but I'm gonna start 295 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 5: using that. 296 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 2: So back to the question that I keep trying to 297 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:21,800 Speaker 2: ask you that I never really get an answer to, 298 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 2: or I'm not asking properly, is you know I talked 299 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,200 Speaker 2: to so many people, and so many people are really 300 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 2: happy with the career choices that they've made, and so 301 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:35,280 Speaker 2: many people are happily surprised by their career choices and 302 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:38,200 Speaker 2: where they end up and some people. I was talking 303 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:41,120 Speaker 2: to Brookshields recently on an episode and she said something 304 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 2: really powerful and really honest, and I haven't heard a 305 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 2: lot of people say that. So it's a question that 306 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:48,440 Speaker 2: I'm going to start asking more people. Is when you 307 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:50,560 Speaker 2: think about the what ifs, the things that you didn't 308 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,120 Speaker 2: do that maybe you wished you had, or the regrets 309 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 2: that you have, Like, do you ever see yourself in 310 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,520 Speaker 2: a different way like you would you see yourself having 311 00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:01,720 Speaker 2: a different kind of career or are you so thrilled 312 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,760 Speaker 2: and grateful about the career that you do have, as 313 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:06,360 Speaker 2: unexpected as it may have been. 314 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 6: Well, yeah, in a macro sense, I'm so glad I 315 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:13,199 Speaker 6: fell into acting because it's the coolest job ever. 316 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:15,199 Speaker 5: And I understand how, you know, I have a lot 317 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:15,720 Speaker 5: of friends. 318 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,120 Speaker 6: I went to boarding school, so I have a lot 319 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 6: of very close friends from my high school experience and 320 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:22,280 Speaker 6: their jobs don't sound as much fun to me when 321 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:26,840 Speaker 6: we talk about but within Hollywood, yeah, I can see 322 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:30,360 Speaker 6: how people are bummed sometimes with the lane that they've 323 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,080 Speaker 6: been or they feel like they're in or they've been 324 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:35,320 Speaker 6: put in, or they can't get Yeah, yeah, and I 325 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,360 Speaker 6: remember thinking I had a real luxury, not just in 326 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:41,160 Speaker 6: like hitting the lottery and like getting the first thing 327 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:43,200 Speaker 6: I auditioned for it, but then also the show was 328 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 6: you know, did so well, and it afforded me so 329 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:51,200 Speaker 6: many opportunities. I remember thinking towards the end a lot 330 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:54,200 Speaker 6: about what kind of career I wanted to have, And 331 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:59,520 Speaker 6: this is for me, exactly what I wanted to whatever 332 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:03,320 Speaker 6: chips I got from doing seventies, like, this is how 333 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:06,680 Speaker 6: I wanted to spend them. And you know, some people, 334 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,600 Speaker 6: especially some agents, might think like I made the wrong choice, 335 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,560 Speaker 6: because like the smartest thing to do, I think, if 336 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,000 Speaker 6: you want to make money in this career is kind 337 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,920 Speaker 6: of do the same thing over and over again because 338 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 6: it becomes monetizable. But for me, what I wanted so 339 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,959 Speaker 6: badly once I got so especially because you wind up 340 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,720 Speaker 6: playing the same character for seven years straight. And there 341 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:30,400 Speaker 6: is something kind of great about that, but also something 342 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:33,920 Speaker 6: a little redundant about it is I wanted to be 343 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:40,320 Speaker 6: in big blockbusters and tiny, you know, shoestring independent budget films, 344 00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:44,080 Speaker 6: and I wanted to play good guys, and I really 345 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 6: wanted to play bad guys and be in comedies and 346 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:51,240 Speaker 6: being dramas. I want to have a passport to everywhere 347 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:56,080 Speaker 6: because I wanted to still be interested. Literally the age 348 00:13:56,120 --> 00:14:00,400 Speaker 6: I am now like still really hungry and interested. I 349 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,640 Speaker 6: don't know if you've noticed, but I feel like a 350 00:14:01,679 --> 00:14:04,280 Speaker 6: lot of people kind of around my age like start 351 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:06,800 Speaker 6: to like peel off and like not act as much 352 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,679 Speaker 6: or not enjoy it as much when they're doing it, 353 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,840 Speaker 6: or it feels like a factory to them or something. 354 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:14,040 Speaker 6: And I no one loves their career more than I do. 355 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,040 Speaker 5: I'm just so grateful. 356 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:17,120 Speaker 4: I love to hear that. 357 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,880 Speaker 5: Well, you know, this movie's the great examples. 358 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,400 Speaker 6: I think when they tested, no one knew until halfway 359 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,200 Speaker 6: through if I was a good guy or a bad guy, 360 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,240 Speaker 6: and that made me so happy that no one just 361 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:30,600 Speaker 6: assumed I was. That's literally why I was cast, because 362 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 6: no one knew who I was going to be, and 363 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:32,880 Speaker 6: that made me thrill. 364 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:33,440 Speaker 4: Yeah. 365 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,320 Speaker 2: Well, I mean, you played the ultimate bad guy in 366 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,440 Speaker 2: Black Clansmen, and so you played David Duke, so that 367 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,680 Speaker 2: was very surprising to a lot of people because nobody 368 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,240 Speaker 2: expected that from you. And I think what you're saying 369 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,040 Speaker 2: is really true about like this movie, which is called 370 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:45,480 Speaker 2: Flight Risk. 371 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 4: By the way, I don't think we've been mentioned the 372 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:48,200 Speaker 4: name of the movie. 373 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,840 Speaker 2: I think you allow yourself a lot more opportunities when 374 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,520 Speaker 2: you're creatively conscious about the decisions you're making. And I 375 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,880 Speaker 2: think what you said about being on that seventies show 376 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 2: for seven years, you know, seven years is a true 377 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:02,160 Speaker 2: itch Moment's why it's called the seven Years. I did 378 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,640 Speaker 2: Chelsea Lately for seven years, and I had to itch 379 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,280 Speaker 2: my way out. I was like, I can't take this 380 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,960 Speaker 2: again for another year. And seven years is like the 381 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,240 Speaker 2: amount of time I think Trevor Noah did the Daily Show. 382 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,280 Speaker 2: I think seven years is a very seminal kind of 383 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:17,280 Speaker 2: framework of time where you are kind of like, okay, 384 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 2: I've got this. 385 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,160 Speaker 5: I actually did the math. 386 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,080 Speaker 6: I think if you this is a while ago, so 387 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,720 Speaker 6: I'm a little fuzzy on it, but I think that 388 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:24,040 Speaker 6: is ten thousand hours. 389 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,960 Speaker 4: Oh really, really seven years is ten thousand hours? 390 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, of like a workday of like. 391 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:30,480 Speaker 6: Oh, if you do work days and you do it, 392 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:31,800 Speaker 6: I was like really trying to do with a friend 393 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:32,040 Speaker 6: of mine. 394 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 5: I was like, oh, I think that's why that itch happens. 395 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,640 Speaker 6: It's not just like you're also I think there's some back, 396 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,080 Speaker 6: like after seven years all your cells except for a couple, 397 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:43,640 Speaker 6: like stem cells have regenerated and you're literally an entirely 398 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,040 Speaker 6: different human. But I also think maybe you've kind of 399 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:50,840 Speaker 6: mastered something and it's like you rite more of it. 400 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:52,960 Speaker 5: But it's like, to. 401 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:55,240 Speaker 6: Me, the thing that keeps like, I'm more interested in 402 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:59,640 Speaker 6: acting now and like techniques and trying things than I 403 00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:02,960 Speaker 6: was when I started. And I think the only reason 404 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,760 Speaker 6: that's true is because the next project I did after this. 405 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:10,040 Speaker 5: It's this Glenn Powell movie. But I'm like, I'm insane 406 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:10,320 Speaker 5: in it. 407 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,640 Speaker 2: You play his lover, you play Glenn Powell's lovers. 408 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:18,200 Speaker 6: He wishes, he wishes no, i mean, you know, words 409 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:18,600 Speaker 6: out on him. 410 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:19,320 Speaker 5: But he's really great. 411 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,280 Speaker 6: But then the next thing, I'm a total good guy 412 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,600 Speaker 6: and I'm totally earnest. It's just it's just different muscles 413 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,920 Speaker 6: each time, and I just I'm still in love with it. 414 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:31,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, and you're normal, You're not eccentric. 415 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,320 Speaker 2: You're not like a weirdo or somebody who takes themselves 416 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:35,120 Speaker 2: really seriously. 417 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,440 Speaker 4: I mean I mean that as a compliment. 418 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,760 Speaker 2: It makes you much more attractive when you know actors 419 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,080 Speaker 2: who take themselves very seriously. 420 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:40,960 Speaker 4: It's a little bit of a. 421 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 2: Hard pill to swallow for someone, you know, for someone 422 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,680 Speaker 2: like me. I shouldn't speak for all women, but I 423 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:46,000 Speaker 2: find it. 424 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:49,920 Speaker 5: I think the Academy feels differently about that, but I agree, 425 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:51,120 Speaker 5: right exactly. 426 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:54,680 Speaker 4: And you've managed to have a normal, healthy marriage and children. 427 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:55,520 Speaker 4: How many children do you have? 428 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:55,760 Speaker 2: Two? 429 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:56,320 Speaker 4: Or three? 430 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 5: Three? 431 00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:58,800 Speaker 4: Three? What are their ages? 432 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:01,280 Speaker 5: We got a two year old, we got a four 433 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,160 Speaker 5: year old, and we got a seven year old. And 434 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 5: it's a it's a lot. 435 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, that is a lot at those ages. Good for 436 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,720 Speaker 2: you and good for your wife. I'm sure that she. 437 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,360 Speaker 5: Is doing most of it. Yes, you're right, I'm sure. 438 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:16,240 Speaker 2: That she's doing all of it. It is it's so 439 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,840 Speaker 2: crazy to think about people who have children to raise, 440 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,960 Speaker 2: you know, especially as a single woman. Like when I 441 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,280 Speaker 2: think when I hear about people having three children, I'm 442 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:26,480 Speaker 2: just like, how is that fucking possible? And I talk 443 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,840 Speaker 2: about this all the time because I cannot wrap my 444 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,360 Speaker 2: head around how you can take care of so many 445 00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:33,200 Speaker 2: people's lives every day. 446 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,120 Speaker 5: Well, I'm sure we're screwing it all up every day. 447 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:39,439 Speaker 6: But you know, she truly, I know this is the 448 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 6: part where everyone gets corny talking about their partner. 449 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 5: But like my wife's amazing. 450 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:48,560 Speaker 6: And once or twice I've had dreams where she's like 451 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:51,960 Speaker 6: died or something, and the nightmare is not just that 452 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:55,760 Speaker 6: she died, but like my kids would be like and. 453 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:56,280 Speaker 5: Who are you? 454 00:17:56,400 --> 00:18:00,320 Speaker 6: Like, like you terrible? Like your wife's you know, like 455 00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:02,600 Speaker 6: a mom was great, Like you're just awful. So we 456 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:03,840 Speaker 6: just got to she got to hang in there for 457 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:04,800 Speaker 6: another couple of years. 458 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:06,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, just a couple. 459 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,120 Speaker 1: But your wife actually, like is so cool. 460 00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:12,560 Speaker 3: When we were researching this episode, She's a social justice warrior. 461 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:15,520 Speaker 3: She's outspoken, and I mean like she's a very cool woman. 462 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:20,440 Speaker 6: She is a professor of child development and a child 463 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 6: abuse neglect and and she yes, she is very involved politically, 464 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:29,280 Speaker 6: and she's like I hesitate to talk about her so 465 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,520 Speaker 6: much on these because I feel like I start getting 466 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:34,720 Speaker 6: into like my wedding vows and then like I'm like, 467 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,080 Speaker 6: how much is too much? But I'm really amazed by 468 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,959 Speaker 6: her all the time, and like you know that thing 469 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,399 Speaker 6: where you don't want to be the smartest person in 470 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,440 Speaker 6: the room, you know, you go, this is probably bad 471 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:45,960 Speaker 6: because I'm like the smartest person here. 472 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,320 Speaker 5: I never have that problem. 473 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,000 Speaker 4: Do you feel like you're delivering? 474 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:51,600 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm sure you're going to make a joke 475 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:53,720 Speaker 2: about not delivering as a father or a husband, But 476 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,240 Speaker 2: how do you judge yourself in a totally serious way 477 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,879 Speaker 2: about your parenting and your husband? 478 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:03,359 Speaker 4: I wanted to husbandry, but that's not accurate about your 479 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,240 Speaker 4: husbanding your husbanding. 480 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:08,119 Speaker 6: Yes, well, of course you'd have to ask my kids 481 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,800 Speaker 6: or my wife. But I would say perfect husband in 482 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,520 Speaker 6: every way and perfect dad. 483 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:15,680 Speaker 5: Yeah I didn't. 484 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:16,840 Speaker 4: Wow, that's ten out of ten. 485 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,840 Speaker 5: Look, yeah, I can't believe. I thought about it and 486 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:19,800 Speaker 5: I went yeaheah. 487 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:24,320 Speaker 6: No, It's like I now realize, like all the cliches 488 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,919 Speaker 6: are true, but the act of being a dad and 489 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,600 Speaker 6: a husband, you know, being in a family and all 490 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:32,280 Speaker 6: the craziness, is like you're going to fail. It's almost 491 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,800 Speaker 6: like you're talking about being nervous the first day of work. 492 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,480 Speaker 6: It's like you care so much about something that you're 493 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:41,159 Speaker 6: going to mess up and you just have to keep going, 494 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:44,520 Speaker 6: even if you're not the best at it, because I 495 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:45,960 Speaker 6: don't think anyone's like the best. 496 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 4: No, I mean, how could you be. I mean it's 497 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:49,159 Speaker 4: like you're not. 498 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:50,960 Speaker 2: You don't know what you're doing unless you have like 499 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,000 Speaker 2: fifteen children, and by that point you can't be killing 500 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,600 Speaker 2: it anyway, because that's really fucking exhausted and old. 501 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:56,160 Speaker 5: That's right. 502 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,360 Speaker 6: If you have fifteen kids and you send your kids 503 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:01,280 Speaker 6: to boarding school at five and then like by the 504 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,320 Speaker 6: fifth kid, you'd be like, Okay, I got this. 505 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,440 Speaker 5: But it's just you're learning and trying. 506 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:10,200 Speaker 6: And you know, my folks were amazing and they're still together. 507 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,439 Speaker 5: They live out here, and I'm like, wow, that's cool. 508 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,240 Speaker 6: Yeah, we just went to their fiftieth wedding anniversary and 509 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,119 Speaker 6: I like, I can't complain. 510 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,320 Speaker 5: They were unbelievable. 511 00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:21,280 Speaker 6: But even places where they might feel like they weren't great, 512 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,359 Speaker 6: you go as long as you care a lot and 513 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:24,480 Speaker 6: you're trying your hardest. 514 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:25,919 Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, I think you can see that. 515 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true. Okay, I not. Now, we're going to 516 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 4: take a break and we'll be right back with Choe 517 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:37,040 Speaker 4: for Grace. And we're back with Choe for Grace. 518 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:38,800 Speaker 5: We are back. 519 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,200 Speaker 1: We have some good questions for you today. I think 520 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:42,600 Speaker 1: I think this is gonna be a fun time. 521 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:45,160 Speaker 3: We'll start with a caller. Actually, we got to get her. 522 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,600 Speaker 3: She's stepped out of class, so she's gonna be here 523 00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:47,960 Speaker 3: with us. 524 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:49,160 Speaker 4: Is it a step class? 525 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:49,760 Speaker 8: Okay? 526 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:51,960 Speaker 1: So this is Anna. She's thirty two. 527 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:57,399 Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea, please help me be sexy again. My husband 528 00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,760 Speaker 3: and I have been married for five years and together 529 00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:03,680 Speaker 3: for nine. We've always had great raw sex. In fact, 530 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,040 Speaker 3: the first time we ever hooked up, I was supposed 531 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:07,080 Speaker 3: to be a one night stand. 532 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,800 Speaker 1: But here we are all these years. 533 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,320 Speaker 4: Later, because you were so good in bed, look at 534 00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:12,480 Speaker 4: you now and. 535 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,080 Speaker 1: So smart continuing education. 536 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,040 Speaker 3: Currently, we have a healthy sex life around once or 537 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:19,560 Speaker 3: twice a week. I also give a courtesy thanks for 538 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,760 Speaker 3: paying the rent blow job at least once every month, 539 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:22,879 Speaker 3: since I don't contribute. 540 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:24,679 Speaker 1: Here's the issue. 541 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,280 Speaker 5: There's no issue already. 542 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,359 Speaker 3: Here's the issue. I've become so casual with my partner 543 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:34,720 Speaker 3: during sex. I sometimes get sidetracked while mid Deed and 544 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,240 Speaker 3: I say dumb jokes, talk about things in our day, 545 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,399 Speaker 3: or when I try to be sexy, I straight up 546 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:42,400 Speaker 3: cannot take myself seriously and end up laughing hysterically. 547 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 1: My husband knows I'm goofy and weird. 548 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,399 Speaker 3: However, he has mentioned to me multiple times after sex 549 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:50,359 Speaker 3: that although he thinks I'm adorable and awkward, that he 550 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,080 Speaker 3: wishes I would be a little sexier sometimes. For this, 551 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:55,560 Speaker 3: I can't blame him. I find that if I'm buzzed, 552 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,159 Speaker 3: I'm able to get out of my head and be 553 00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,680 Speaker 3: more present. If I'm sober, I get super awkward and 554 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,159 Speaker 3: cannot shut the hell up. Do you have any helpful 555 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,320 Speaker 3: advice for me to be a little more sexy and 556 00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:06,879 Speaker 3: a little less awkward. I'm annoying myself with all the 557 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,200 Speaker 3: terrible jokes and things I say in bed. Will take 558 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:10,280 Speaker 3: any help I can get. 559 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:14,760 Speaker 4: Anna, Hi, Anna, Hi, how are you hi? 560 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,840 Speaker 2: We have sex therapist jo for Grace here today to 561 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:18,280 Speaker 2: help you with all of your problems. 562 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:20,720 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, thank you so much. 563 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,040 Speaker 8: I hope you can fix everything. 564 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:24,840 Speaker 7: I don't know if I need a gig or something. 565 00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,840 Speaker 2: I mean, I think you just need I just think 566 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,840 Speaker 2: you've probably been with the same person for a long 567 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 2: time and you're kind of like really comfortable with him, 568 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,320 Speaker 2: and you probably just need to kind of take a 569 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:38,199 Speaker 2: couple steps back and actually get to know your body, 570 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,480 Speaker 2: and not in that corny, gross way, actually like get 571 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:41,200 Speaker 2: to know your body. 572 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:41,840 Speaker 4: You've changed. 573 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,280 Speaker 2: We were just talking about how you change every seven years, 574 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,479 Speaker 2: and that's true. You get a seven year itch, your 575 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:49,120 Speaker 2: body changes your all yourselves pretty much die after seven 576 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,080 Speaker 2: years and you have a regrowth, so like that warrants 577 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:54,239 Speaker 2: a regrowth in all areas of your life. And if 578 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,800 Speaker 2: you're feeling kind of like nervous or silly around the 579 00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:58,679 Speaker 2: person that loves you the most or then and that 580 00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:00,280 Speaker 2: you love the most and that you do want to 581 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,760 Speaker 2: have sex with, that just sounds like you're kind of 582 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,280 Speaker 2: in a little bit of a rut and that you 583 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:07,640 Speaker 2: can easily get yourself out of with some like positive 584 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:10,280 Speaker 2: self talk, some a little bit more like, you know, 585 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:15,360 Speaker 2: sexiness that's natural and not forced, because that is awkward. 586 00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:17,639 Speaker 4: Who wants to be like forced into sexiness? 587 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:19,520 Speaker 2: Like I think the sexiest thing is when two people 588 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,720 Speaker 2: can be just completely natural together and no one has 589 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:22,960 Speaker 2: to act sexy at all. 590 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,000 Speaker 4: You just kind of happens, you know what I mean? 591 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:27,840 Speaker 2: You have natural chemistry that just kind of sounds like 592 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,720 Speaker 2: it needs to be reignited. 593 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,359 Speaker 4: How long have you guys been together? 594 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:33,680 Speaker 8: Almost ten years? Actually? 595 00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:36,439 Speaker 2: Okay, well there you go. That's exactly right. This has 596 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,439 Speaker 2: probably been going on for exactly three years. 597 00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:43,120 Speaker 9: Yeah, And I typically like we have a lot of 598 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:46,360 Speaker 9: mourning sex because I at nighttime, I am a lossul 599 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,200 Speaker 9: like I'm tired, I do not feel like moving, so 600 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:52,080 Speaker 9: I'm very much a morning person sex person, and I 601 00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:54,560 Speaker 9: think that a lot of the times too, Like I'm 602 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,479 Speaker 9: going through a checklist of like what I'm doing in 603 00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:00,600 Speaker 9: the day, and I like, yeah, like I'm in my 604 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 9: thirties now, I just don't feel like my young self 605 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:05,920 Speaker 9: like when we first met, like we had a lot 606 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:09,560 Speaker 9: of yeah, like spontaneous sex like you're saying, so now 607 00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:13,000 Speaker 9: it's like scheduled sex, and it's like, okay, Like my 608 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,119 Speaker 9: husband works twenty four hour shifts, so we like have 609 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,240 Speaker 9: really off schedules. So I'm like, Okay, I'm going to 610 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 9: see you in this window, so like let's try to 611 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:24,639 Speaker 9: do it then. And I think that as an adult, 612 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,680 Speaker 9: it just doesn't get very it's not really fun anymore, 613 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,159 Speaker 9: Like it's I don't know, Yeah, we don't have a 614 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,400 Speaker 9: lot of yeah, spontaneity anymore. 615 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:33,359 Speaker 4: I think I don't. 616 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 2: I don't wantn't worry so much about the spontaneity as 617 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,639 Speaker 2: I would worry about being present. Like you just need 618 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,600 Speaker 2: to work on being present while you're having sex with 619 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,680 Speaker 2: your husband and that will yield its own like benefits. Yeah, 620 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:46,000 Speaker 2: that's you know, you're in your head, you're thinking about 621 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:47,280 Speaker 2: your day and there's nothing wrong with that. 622 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,200 Speaker 4: That's what lots of people are doing during sex. 623 00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:52,199 Speaker 2: But you just have to like refocus your energy, like 624 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:55,080 Speaker 2: take some time every day to either write down, like 625 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:58,360 Speaker 2: you know, stuff in a journal, either meditate something that's 626 00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,639 Speaker 2: just gonna force you to be pressed for five to 627 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:03,560 Speaker 2: ten minutes each day and then habituate that and like 628 00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:05,879 Speaker 2: that becomes your habit and that way you can kind 629 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,800 Speaker 2: of connect more during sex, you. 630 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:11,040 Speaker 4: Know what I mean. Like, this isn't a huge terrible issue. 631 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:12,919 Speaker 2: It's just like a little bump in the road, and 632 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,280 Speaker 2: once you get past it, you're gonna be like, oh, wow, 633 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:15,880 Speaker 2: this is cool. 634 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:17,080 Speaker 4: Like what else can I tackle? 635 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:17,840 Speaker 5: Yeah? 636 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:19,040 Speaker 8: No, definitely agree. 637 00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:21,040 Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't know if this will help. You know, 638 00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:22,520 Speaker 6: I've been married. I've been with my wife almost the 639 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,520 Speaker 6: same amount of time. But and this is just coming 640 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,280 Speaker 6: from an actor, right, So don't take this from a 641 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:28,760 Speaker 6: sexual icon. 642 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:30,240 Speaker 5: This is yah from an actor. 643 00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:33,280 Speaker 6: But I one time I was on the set of 644 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:36,720 Speaker 6: a film, okay, and I had to start yelling in 645 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,080 Speaker 6: the middle of this scene. And I'm not really a 646 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:42,240 Speaker 6: yeller in real life. I just don't like yelling at people, 647 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:46,879 Speaker 6: and it felt a little stupid to just start screaming, 648 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:48,280 Speaker 6: and I was like, I don't want to just like 649 00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:51,720 Speaker 6: start yelling. And the guy was like, just just yell 650 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,399 Speaker 6: at that part. And I was like, but I you know, 651 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,479 Speaker 6: why would I start yelling? And he told me this 652 00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:00,399 Speaker 6: great quote which he said, this is the director, but 653 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,200 Speaker 6: he said, as an actor, I'm a Catholic. 654 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:03,160 Speaker 5: What does that mean? 655 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:07,080 Speaker 6: He said, I just believe one hundred percent no matter what. 656 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:11,520 Speaker 6: And what he meant was start yelling first, and then 657 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:15,280 Speaker 6: you'll be yelling, and then you'll you'll be yelling and 658 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:17,240 Speaker 6: you'll start it'll start to feel real, and it's right, 659 00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:19,679 Speaker 6: He's right. I just started yelling. It felt like really 660 00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:22,720 Speaker 6: stupid and fake. And then the next take I was 661 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:25,080 Speaker 6: like it just it just felt more, you know, like 662 00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:27,000 Speaker 6: I was more into it. So I don't know if 663 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,560 Speaker 6: that helps, but it's. 664 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,919 Speaker 9: Like till I make it, Yeah, you. 665 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,760 Speaker 6: Take it a little bit, you know, to get into 666 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:36,040 Speaker 6: the role sometimes, and I guess some of it, I mean, 667 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:37,440 Speaker 6: it shouldn't all be acting. 668 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:38,960 Speaker 5: But some of it is a little bit of a 669 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:40,240 Speaker 5: you're playing a role, you know. 670 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:41,800 Speaker 8: No, I agree, Okay. 671 00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:45,640 Speaker 3: I read a while back that like some people are 672 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,960 Speaker 3: when they're in like a sexual mode, they go into 673 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:52,320 Speaker 3: sort of this non verbal part of their brain. And 674 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:55,199 Speaker 3: some people like don't like talking, they don't want to 675 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:56,960 Speaker 3: be talk to. Some people want to talk a lot, 676 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,480 Speaker 3: and I think, you know, you got to have fun sometimes. 677 00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:02,720 Speaker 3: But some thing that this article said to try was 678 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:06,760 Speaker 3: like try daring yourself to like not talk the whole time, 679 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:08,560 Speaker 3: or like not talk once you get into like the 680 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:12,080 Speaker 3: steamy part and like just focus on the sensations in 681 00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:14,520 Speaker 3: your body. And it's like kind of revolutionary, Like you 682 00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:16,000 Speaker 3: don't have to do that every time, but if you're 683 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:19,480 Speaker 3: like I'm gonna be sexy today, you know, maybe that's 684 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:20,200 Speaker 3: something to try. 685 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:22,720 Speaker 5: And try maybe singing singing the whole time. 686 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:30,240 Speaker 4: I mean, no talking thought, But I think that's a good. 687 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,720 Speaker 2: That's a good, like just don't say anything, you know 688 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:35,360 Speaker 2: what I mean, really just try to just zip it 689 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,480 Speaker 2: and see what comes out of that. That might be 690 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,720 Speaker 2: a much more enjoyable experience for yourself. 691 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:40,680 Speaker 4: As well, I think. 692 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:40,800 Speaker 8: So. 693 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,879 Speaker 9: I think that's a lot of it is that I 694 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:45,000 Speaker 9: just can't shut up. 695 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:48,479 Speaker 2: So and I think women also want men to know, Okay, 696 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:50,720 Speaker 2: yes we like this, you're doing a good job. 697 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:51,000 Speaker 6: You know. 698 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,960 Speaker 2: It's kind of like ego stroking that that the whole 699 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:56,800 Speaker 2: kind of talking in bed a lot is to kind 700 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,679 Speaker 2: of keep them going and like let them know. But 701 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,200 Speaker 2: it's also nice to not do any of that, Like 702 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:03,800 Speaker 2: you don't have to do that. You don't have to 703 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:07,640 Speaker 2: perform for him. You're already having like sex together, so 704 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:09,560 Speaker 2: you don't have to like put on a show. So yeah, 705 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,320 Speaker 2: I would try to be silent for a few times 706 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:13,440 Speaker 2: and see how that makes you feel afterward. 707 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,040 Speaker 9: I like that ideao a lot because I do think 708 00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:19,239 Speaker 9: it is performative and like, as a female, you're right, 709 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:22,159 Speaker 9: like you just really want to validate your partner, and 710 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,560 Speaker 9: that's part of trying to get them come along like 711 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:28,040 Speaker 9: that they're that you're making sure they're enjoying it. But yeah, 712 00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,120 Speaker 9: especially with someone that I've been with for so long, 713 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:32,640 Speaker 9: like he knows that I'm with him, Like there's nothing 714 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:34,160 Speaker 9: more I can really do at this point. 715 00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:39,080 Speaker 7: So I think I think being quiet is a good thing, actually. 716 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 3: Quiet and mindful, like really like focus why and present. 717 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,000 Speaker 4: Let's those two things first. 718 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:44,960 Speaker 8: Okay, I like that. 719 00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:47,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, I remember. 720 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:48,760 Speaker 2: What's having sex with a guy? And I looked up 721 00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,560 Speaker 2: what was I doing to him? Maybe I was going 722 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:53,520 Speaker 2: down on him, but that doesn't really sound like me. Anyway, 723 00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:55,240 Speaker 2: I looked up and he was taking a sip of 724 00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:58,080 Speaker 2: a beer and I remember going, well, excuse me, what 725 00:28:58,160 --> 00:28:58,840 Speaker 2: are you doing? 726 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:00,840 Speaker 4: And he's like, oh my god, I can't believe you 727 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:01,240 Speaker 4: caught that. 728 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,520 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I was going down on him because obviously, 729 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:06,240 Speaker 2: and he and I'm like, I was just about to 730 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:07,360 Speaker 2: give you the greatest blow job. 731 00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,200 Speaker 4: He's like, I know, that's why I took a sip 732 00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:10,920 Speaker 4: of the beer. This was gonna be so exciting. 733 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,200 Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, but you ruined it. Can't just be 734 00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:16,640 Speaker 2: fucking drinking beer while I'm blowing you. Anyway, that was 735 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:18,640 Speaker 2: the last time I gave a blowjob. But it sounds 736 00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:20,000 Speaker 2: like you're pretty consistent. 737 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:20,280 Speaker 4: With those two. 738 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:21,160 Speaker 8: Yeah. 739 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:22,440 Speaker 4: I think that's why he married me. 740 00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:26,280 Speaker 1: So okay, doing a great job on uh yeah. 741 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, Well thanks for calling in on a good luck 742 00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:29,280 Speaker 2: with everything, and. 743 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:30,480 Speaker 4: I'm sure you'll be fine. 744 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:35,120 Speaker 9: Okay, thank you so much, report back, Okay, we'll do bye. 745 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,360 Speaker 4: I Well, that was uplifting, guys. 746 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:38,040 Speaker 5: Yeah. 747 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:40,160 Speaker 4: I like when people have I like when people. 748 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:42,240 Speaker 2: Have minor problems, you know what I mean that are 749 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:46,080 Speaker 2: easily fixable, so fensible, yeah, easily tended to Yes. 750 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:51,360 Speaker 3: Okay, Well, our next question. This is just an email. 751 00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:54,440 Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea. I'm a divorced mom to an eight year 752 00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:56,680 Speaker 3: old boy and a four year old girl. The kid's 753 00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:58,720 Speaker 3: dad is still in the picture and has them every 754 00:29:58,720 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 3: other weekend, but I'm the price. 755 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,080 Speaker 1: I'm very parent and breadwinter. 756 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:03,600 Speaker 3: I'm also an older mom, and I had my youngest 757 00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:06,520 Speaker 3: at forty one, so I'm forty five now. I love 758 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:08,400 Speaker 3: being a mom, and my divorce is the best thing 759 00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:10,840 Speaker 3: my ex and I ever did for our kids. My 760 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:15,000 Speaker 3: biggest problem is major anxiety about dying and leaving my kids, 761 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:18,040 Speaker 3: especially when they're still so young. At least a few 762 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,560 Speaker 3: times a year, I find something physical to freak out 763 00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:22,800 Speaker 3: about and go down the path of seeing doctors and 764 00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:25,760 Speaker 3: getting tested for all sorts of things. So far, I've 765 00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:28,040 Speaker 3: been cleared, but I'm recently having some pain and I 766 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:30,600 Speaker 3: comment by an X raytech has me reeling that I 767 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:32,800 Speaker 3: might have bone cancer and I'll be dead while they 768 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,640 Speaker 3: still need me. Again, I don't have a diagnosis, and 769 00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,760 Speaker 3: that one is extremely rare. Hearing stories about others losing 770 00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:41,280 Speaker 3: their moms makes my fear even greater. It seems like 771 00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:44,560 Speaker 3: such an intense trauma that follows people throughout their lives. Ideally, 772 00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:46,440 Speaker 3: I'd love someone to tell me I'm not going to 773 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,120 Speaker 3: die until they're much older. But really what I want 774 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:50,880 Speaker 3: to know is that they will be okay if I do. 775 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:53,840 Speaker 3: I have general anxiety and I'm being treated by a 776 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,560 Speaker 3: doctor and see a therapist, so I'm not in danger, 777 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,520 Speaker 3: but these thoughts are all consuming anytime something comes up 778 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:00,000 Speaker 3: with my health. 779 00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:02,680 Speaker 1: Thanks be God. 780 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,760 Speaker 5: Wow, I'm kind of regretting bringing up that whole thing 781 00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:06,720 Speaker 5: about my wife. 782 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:10,480 Speaker 2: Well your wife, well, actually, yeah, yeah, exactly the right 783 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:11,120 Speaker 2: question there. 784 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:14,240 Speaker 6: I meant it a little more lighthearted, So sorry, what's 785 00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:15,959 Speaker 6: the what's the. 786 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,040 Speaker 1: B as the as the person? 787 00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:20,200 Speaker 2: I think you actually just have to make a decision 788 00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:22,440 Speaker 2: in life whether or you are going to live in 789 00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:26,120 Speaker 2: fear or you are going to be present. And when 790 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:29,320 Speaker 2: you're living in fear, and then any single thing can 791 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:33,040 Speaker 2: trigger you, and it's not the easiest place to arrive at, 792 00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:36,640 Speaker 2: per se if you are a fearful person, to become 793 00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:40,400 Speaker 2: unfearful and to start to trust the universe, to trust 794 00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,800 Speaker 2: your health, to trust the world that everything's going to 795 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:45,560 Speaker 2: work out in your favor, because that's kind of an 796 00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:49,760 Speaker 2: empty thought too. But not once you get on that train. 797 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:52,120 Speaker 2: Once you get on that train, you're like, Okay, what 798 00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:54,760 Speaker 2: if I do have this, what are the steps that 799 00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:56,720 Speaker 2: I will have to take with this? Like, you're not 800 00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:59,200 Speaker 2: even there yet. You're starting to think about things before 801 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:02,640 Speaker 2: they happen, which I think can actually bring negativity into 802 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,200 Speaker 2: your life. Rather than pushing it out of your life 803 00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:06,960 Speaker 2: and keeping it out of your life, you want to 804 00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,360 Speaker 2: bring in positivity. So you have to get up every 805 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,040 Speaker 2: morning and start like giving some affirmations like to yourself 806 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:14,840 Speaker 2: that you're healthy, that you're a great mother, that you're 807 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:16,800 Speaker 2: taking care of your children, that you're safe, that your 808 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:19,959 Speaker 2: family is safe, and keep reinforcing that kind of stuff 809 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:23,720 Speaker 2: every morning into your psyche so that you can go 810 00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:26,680 Speaker 2: throughout your day living in the moment that you're in 811 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,480 Speaker 2: without being paranoid about. 812 00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:30,440 Speaker 4: What or might could or could not happen. 813 00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:33,520 Speaker 2: Because we could all choose to do that, But what 814 00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:35,520 Speaker 2: are you going to get out of that in your life? 815 00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:37,400 Speaker 4: You're not going to have the life that you need. 816 00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:39,959 Speaker 2: And I know it's not something that you can just light, 817 00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:41,840 Speaker 2: that you can turn an on and off, but there 818 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:45,160 Speaker 2: is work that you can do with positive affirmations, with 819 00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:48,200 Speaker 2: reading about books like letting Go or let Them with 820 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,800 Speaker 2: Mel Robbins reading things that are going to make you 821 00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:54,239 Speaker 2: understand that it is more powerful to be positive and 822 00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:57,440 Speaker 2: that you attract more positive energy when you're in that 823 00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:02,040 Speaker 2: headspace rather than living in a fearful head space. Because Okay, 824 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:05,240 Speaker 2: so you pass away, that's the worst possible case scenario. 825 00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,080 Speaker 2: Your your kids are going to survive and they're going 826 00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:10,440 Speaker 2: to be raised and they're going to live. 827 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,440 Speaker 4: So then what so you play that all out. 828 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:16,480 Speaker 2: They'll be devastated, they'll be sad that their mom is gone, 829 00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:18,800 Speaker 2: and they'll grow up and then they'll have their families 830 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:21,240 Speaker 2: of their own. So it does there's no payoff to 831 00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:24,960 Speaker 2: you being so fearful. There's no great payoff. It's only 832 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,200 Speaker 2: taking away from your life. So I would really just 833 00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:30,600 Speaker 2: start talking to yourself in a different way. 834 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:34,120 Speaker 3: And Tifer, is this like a fear that every parent has? 835 00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,680 Speaker 3: Like I feel like that's something that I hear and 836 00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:37,400 Speaker 3: I wonder if. 837 00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,760 Speaker 6: That's Yeah, my wife, I think she would if she 838 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:44,600 Speaker 6: was here, agree with me that since she's had kids. 839 00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,080 Speaker 6: You know, it's like she makes me check the locks 840 00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:49,160 Speaker 6: on the doors more at night, and she makes me 841 00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:50,360 Speaker 6: go in and check on the kids. You know, some 842 00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:54,720 Speaker 6: of it's like I think she would say even not rational, 843 00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,440 Speaker 6: but it's like I would tell be maybe that's a 844 00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,200 Speaker 6: really great sign that she's a great mom because she 845 00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:05,560 Speaker 6: cares so much about her kids and about their experience. 846 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:07,840 Speaker 5: And my agree with everything you just said, Chelsea. 847 00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:10,439 Speaker 6: It's kind of maybe she should sit in a place 848 00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:12,920 Speaker 6: of a little more gratitude. You know, it's almost like 849 00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 6: going against gratitude to worry about it too, where it's 850 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,839 Speaker 6: taking away from your relationship with your kids. But I 851 00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:21,480 Speaker 6: do think it's a natural instinct to once you have kids, 852 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:26,799 Speaker 6: be like irrationally caring about what their experience is going 853 00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:27,040 Speaker 6: to be. 854 00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:29,439 Speaker 5: So it's ultimately, I think a good thing. 855 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:30,440 Speaker 8: Yeah. 856 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,480 Speaker 3: And to go back to what Chelsea was saying, it's 857 00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:35,719 Speaker 3: like what you focus on expands. So if you can 858 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:37,640 Speaker 3: take these thoughts that are going to come up, like 859 00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:39,200 Speaker 3: oh my gosh, what if I get sick? Oh my gosh, 860 00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:41,160 Speaker 3: what if I die, and you tell yourself, like, you 861 00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:43,360 Speaker 3: know what, I'm going to focus on the positive version 862 00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:46,000 Speaker 3: of that, like what if I stay healthy? What if 863 00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,319 Speaker 3: I'm ninety five and I have great grand kids when 864 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,680 Speaker 3: I die? Then giving yourself some affirmations of like I'm 865 00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:54,720 Speaker 3: living healthily I'm going to do great, like flip the switch, 866 00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:57,080 Speaker 3: because our brains are plastic, and if you start doing that, 867 00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:58,480 Speaker 3: it'll start to become automatic. 868 00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:01,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, for every negative thought, there's an opposing opposite thought 869 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,320 Speaker 2: that you can implant into your head and say, Okay, 870 00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,200 Speaker 2: I'm worried about dying. I'm actually going to live until 871 00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,960 Speaker 2: I'm ninety five. Just like Captain said, like match the 872 00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:12,759 Speaker 2: opposite thought to every negative thought you have and start 873 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,799 Speaker 2: repeating those thoughts in your head, and I guarantee you 874 00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:18,280 Speaker 2: you'll feel a difference right away, probably in days. 875 00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,120 Speaker 4: But it's a practice you have to keep doing. 876 00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:21,960 Speaker 2: And I think what happens to many of us is 877 00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:25,919 Speaker 2: when we start to improve our lives with spiritually or 878 00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,520 Speaker 2: we want to be more connected and more present and 879 00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,560 Speaker 2: with everything we do, when things are going well, we 880 00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:34,280 Speaker 2: forget to practice all the stuff that made us. 881 00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:36,160 Speaker 4: You know, kind of wake up in the first place. 882 00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:39,120 Speaker 2: So the important thing is when things are going well, 883 00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:42,640 Speaker 2: to continue to give yourself these affirmations every morning, to 884 00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:46,080 Speaker 2: continue to do meditation or counseling or whatever work is 885 00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:49,920 Speaker 2: going to bring you towards being the best version of yourself, 886 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,919 Speaker 2: and doing that work even when things are going really well. 887 00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:56,840 Speaker 3: Well, our next question, and this actually is from Laura. 888 00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:59,960 Speaker 4: Laura prepond perfect. We both are. We're just talking about her. 889 00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:04,879 Speaker 3: Damn different Laura, But she says, Dear Chelsea, my mom 890 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,640 Speaker 3: and dad are retired and they've gotten into the luxury 891 00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,680 Speaker 3: travel game. Over the past couple of years, they've taken 892 00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:13,880 Speaker 3: some super long lux trips, including a whole month in 893 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,239 Speaker 3: Africa that included multiple safaris. 894 00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:18,440 Speaker 4: Sounds like somebody's jealous. 895 00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:23,080 Speaker 3: My dad texts me starting when they leave for the 896 00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:27,560 Speaker 3: airport and sends constant photos and daily recaps, exhaustive ones 897 00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:31,000 Speaker 3: of their excursions. He copies and pastes these messages to 898 00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:34,480 Speaker 3: his brothers, friends and others. It is, to put it mildly, 899 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:38,240 Speaker 3: a bit much. These texts never ask how I'm doing, 900 00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:40,600 Speaker 3: if I'm okay, or what my family's up to. 901 00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:42,719 Speaker 1: I literally never respond. 902 00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:46,040 Speaker 3: The last time they were away, he said he was 903 00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:47,960 Speaker 3: waiting for the rental car to go home, and then 904 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,120 Speaker 3: he never bothered to tell me they got back safely, 905 00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:52,520 Speaker 3: and I was worried. Is there a way to tell 906 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:55,799 Speaker 3: him to knock it off? I'm exasperated, especially because he 907 00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:58,359 Speaker 3: cannot read the room and doesn't bother to consider whether 908 00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:01,719 Speaker 3: I even want these excessive updates. I don't text every 909 00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,480 Speaker 3: day when we're in the same country, and his behavior 910 00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:05,600 Speaker 3: just really bothers me. 911 00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:09,520 Speaker 4: Thanks, Laura, that's really funny, Laura. I totally feel you. 912 00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:13,040 Speaker 2: There's nothing more annoying than a long update all the 913 00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,480 Speaker 2: time about something you don't give a shit about. You're like, 914 00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,480 Speaker 2: you should just you should send him the definition of 915 00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,239 Speaker 2: a narcissist, or send him the definition of what it's 916 00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:23,720 Speaker 2: like when someone constantly talks about themselves and never asks 917 00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:25,799 Speaker 2: you questions about you and be like, does this sound 918 00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:28,120 Speaker 2: like anyone you know? I would do something like that 919 00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:31,160 Speaker 2: to someone when they are that clueless, But it won't 920 00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,560 Speaker 2: make a difference because he's an older guy and he's 921 00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:35,640 Speaker 2: stuck in his ways, and he probably thinks, you know, 922 00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:39,040 Speaker 2: he's sharing all of this wonderful magic with everybody. You know, 923 00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:42,600 Speaker 2: He's like, oh, look, but I'm totally with you. 924 00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:43,760 Speaker 4: It's fucking annoying. 925 00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:50,719 Speaker 5: It's boomers. It's boomers, Laura. What that generation imagine being 926 00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:51,440 Speaker 5: in that generation? 927 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:51,759 Speaker 8: You? 928 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:53,040 Speaker 5: I mean, of course they're spoiled. 929 00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:55,160 Speaker 6: They got to have Christmas Morning as a kid in 930 00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,880 Speaker 6: the fifties, right then they got to have their teenage 931 00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,640 Speaker 6: years in the sixties, he's just like Woodstock. 932 00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:04,480 Speaker 5: And like, you know, like the whole you know, question everything. 933 00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:07,880 Speaker 6: Then they got to like be like having like mating 934 00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,960 Speaker 6: and having kids in the eighties and it's like, you know, 935 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,359 Speaker 6: like it's everyone's getting the best Christmas, but their kids 936 00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:15,440 Speaker 6: are getting the best Christmas presents because the you know, 937 00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:19,120 Speaker 6: it's like a boom for our country. And then right 938 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:21,359 Speaker 6: at the end, now they're like, oh, sorry, we used 939 00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,200 Speaker 6: up every natural resource peace. 940 00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:25,120 Speaker 5: Crowd. 941 00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:28,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, actually none of the. 942 00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:30,520 Speaker 6: Yeah exactly, We're gonna go to Africa and shoot the 943 00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:31,480 Speaker 6: last couple. 944 00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:33,480 Speaker 5: Of you know, these species, and then we're gonna and 945 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:34,600 Speaker 5: then I'm gonna die. 946 00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:35,560 Speaker 6: Yeah. 947 00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:38,080 Speaker 3: You can't even leave the group chat because he's like 948 00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:40,400 Speaker 3: individually sending these to everybody. 949 00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:46,080 Speaker 7: Right, I've thought I almost responded with just the word unsubscribe. 950 00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:46,480 Speaker 9: But I didn't. 951 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:47,680 Speaker 8: I didn't have the nerve. 952 00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:50,200 Speaker 7: I really I typed it out once and I was like, 953 00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:51,120 Speaker 7: this would be a problem. 954 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,000 Speaker 2: Have you and you've never said anything to him or 955 00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:56,800 Speaker 2: your mother? Have you said anything to your mom? 956 00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:58,520 Speaker 8: So they share a cell phone? 957 00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:01,360 Speaker 4: Oh that's how that's are they want to Oh. 958 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:02,000 Speaker 8: It's so annoying. 959 00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:05,040 Speaker 7: I never know who's texting me. I don't even know 960 00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:07,799 Speaker 7: how much that bothers me. Sometimes they'll sign it like 961 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,280 Speaker 7: love your dad, but other times they don't. 962 00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:12,120 Speaker 8: It's really weird. 963 00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:16,840 Speaker 3: I feel like this might be a moment to like 964 00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:21,160 Speaker 3: introduce your parents to the joys and curses of social media. 965 00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:23,760 Speaker 1: Like here's where you can put all your updates and people. 966 00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:26,080 Speaker 5: Can their social media. 967 00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:28,080 Speaker 4: That's not I know. 968 00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:32,319 Speaker 7: The thing is they they seem to treat it like Facebook. 969 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:35,479 Speaker 7: And then my dad after they get home, he will 970 00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:38,239 Speaker 7: put all the same stuff that he texts me up 971 00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:40,920 Speaker 7: on Facebook. And I've had like my best friend from childhood. 972 00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:42,960 Speaker 7: It's like, I love it that your dad does that. 973 00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,239 Speaker 7: And I'm like, oh my god, you're the one who 974 00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:45,719 Speaker 7: reads it. 975 00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:48,480 Speaker 4: But that's a perfect example. 976 00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,400 Speaker 2: You can say, Dad, are you you're texting me the 977 00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:52,080 Speaker 2: same stuff that you put on Facebook? 978 00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:53,560 Speaker 4: Like I can just see it on Facebook. 979 00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,239 Speaker 2: You don't have to waste your time texting everybody. 980 00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:59,319 Speaker 4: Everybody's looking. I mean, that's a nicer way to say. 981 00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:00,000 Speaker 4: It's true. 982 00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:02,279 Speaker 2: I mean, if you want to be nice about it, 983 00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:04,640 Speaker 2: I would just immediately I would. I would be very 984 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,399 Speaker 2: honest about it, because I find it completely intolerable when 985 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:09,960 Speaker 2: people act like that you know, especially when you're his 986 00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,000 Speaker 2: kid and he's not even fucking asking about you. 987 00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:14,240 Speaker 4: It's like, hello, I have a family. 988 00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:16,040 Speaker 8: It's so ostentatious. 989 00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:19,239 Speaker 7: I just I've muted the thread, I've done all the 990 00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,719 Speaker 7: things I try to like not even look at it. 991 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,440 Speaker 7: But the last time, when when I didn't even know 992 00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:26,520 Speaker 7: they were home from Africa, I kind of lost. 993 00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:29,520 Speaker 3: It's like, why am I even looking at this, like 994 00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:31,439 Speaker 3: with yeah, they don't even care. 995 00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:35,040 Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I don't know if there's anything to 996 00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:36,520 Speaker 2: do for that, Like I don't even know what the 997 00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,640 Speaker 2: point is because they can't hear you. You know, people 998 00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:41,120 Speaker 2: that age are like so ingrained in what they think 999 00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:43,839 Speaker 2: is appropriate, and that the gifts they're bestowing on all 1000 00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:47,239 Speaker 2: of us by sharing their travels and and. 1001 00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:49,480 Speaker 4: So I don't know, and you seem nice. 1002 00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:53,640 Speaker 2: So it's going to be like a difficult, a difficult interaction, 1003 00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:54,920 Speaker 2: but there are do I. 1004 00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,400 Speaker 6: Got to do yourself favorite spend you know, play the 1005 00:40:57,440 --> 00:41:00,160 Speaker 6: long game and spend your inheritance on a one your 1006 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:03,480 Speaker 6: full trip to Africa. 1007 00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,120 Speaker 2: Or you can tell them that they've they've posted so 1008 00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:09,080 Speaker 2: much about Africa that they've actually turned you off of Africa. 1009 00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:11,400 Speaker 8: Yeah, now, I don't even have to go. 1010 00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:15,120 Speaker 4: That's right, that's right, we solved it. Yeah, do you 1011 00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:15,799 Speaker 4: have siblings? 1012 00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:17,400 Speaker 8: Yeah, I have a sister. 1013 00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:19,680 Speaker 4: Oh so do you guys commiserate together about it? 1014 00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:20,440 Speaker 5: No? 1015 00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:23,439 Speaker 7: I asked her once if the sharing a cell phone 1016 00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:26,120 Speaker 7: thing bothered her, and it didn't. 1017 00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:30,320 Speaker 2: Just sounds like you need to get a new family 1018 00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:31,960 Speaker 2: or rent a family. 1019 00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:36,480 Speaker 8: I kind of do. Yeah. Do you know any nice parents? 1020 00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:37,000 Speaker 7: Yeah? 1021 00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:37,399 Speaker 5: I do. 1022 00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:39,839 Speaker 4: Actually, I know. I love old people, so I love 1023 00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:40,279 Speaker 4: a lot. 1024 00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:42,719 Speaker 2: I'm friends with a lot of my friend's parents, and 1025 00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:44,120 Speaker 2: I will be on the lookout for you. 1026 00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:44,839 Speaker 4: Absolutely. 1027 00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:46,680 Speaker 8: You can shoot number yeah. 1028 00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:47,760 Speaker 4: Yeah. Are you married? 1029 00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:49,960 Speaker 8: Yeah? Okay, Well attacks are great. 1030 00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,239 Speaker 4: Great, great, go with them, go with God. 1031 00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:53,600 Speaker 8: Yeah. 1032 00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:55,799 Speaker 3: Like, if you are going to say anything like just 1033 00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:57,759 Speaker 3: take a teasing tony, be like, oh my god, mom 1034 00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:59,920 Speaker 3: and dad, like you gotta stop doing this. It's so 1035 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:02,480 Speaker 3: but like tease them about it. Like I had to 1036 00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,359 Speaker 3: have a whole conversation with my mom about like you 1037 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:07,360 Speaker 3: can't just text me call me period because then I 1038 00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:10,640 Speaker 3: think someone is dead, And took to tell her like 1039 00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:12,839 Speaker 3: ten times, but she finally got it. 1040 00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:16,600 Speaker 1: Now she says, call me period. Nothing bad. So it's 1041 00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:18,560 Speaker 1: an improvement. 1042 00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:20,040 Speaker 8: That's phenomenal. 1043 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,160 Speaker 2: I also think you should focus on the fact that 1044 00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:23,600 Speaker 2: you have a great set of in laws. 1045 00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:24,080 Speaker 4: You just said. 1046 00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:26,760 Speaker 2: Not many people can say that you can't have awesome 1047 00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:30,160 Speaker 2: parents and awesome in laws like so, I think you 1048 00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:33,239 Speaker 2: should just count your blessings and focus on where the 1049 00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:34,560 Speaker 2: gratitude should come in. 1050 00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:37,440 Speaker 8: You know what. That's fantastic advice. 1051 00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:39,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, and if they end, if you do want to 1052 00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:40,680 Speaker 2: bring it up to your parents, you could be like, 1053 00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:42,680 Speaker 2: just so you know, you're pushing me closer to my 1054 00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:43,240 Speaker 2: in laws. 1055 00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:46,560 Speaker 4: That'll get them to stop. 1056 00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:49,080 Speaker 8: Oh it would, it would for sure. 1057 00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:52,000 Speaker 4: But anyway, thanks for calling in. 1058 00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:54,200 Speaker 8: Thank you so much. 1059 00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,520 Speaker 2: Bye, bye, Okay, well, I'll be right back with Chuff 1060 00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:04,440 Speaker 2: for Grace. We're back with Hope for We're back with 1061 00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:05,120 Speaker 2: Toprah Grace. 1062 00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:08,160 Speaker 4: We're back with Toe for Grace. 1063 00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:09,040 Speaker 5: Tell for Grace. 1064 00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:10,719 Speaker 4: I could say it three times. 1065 00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:13,440 Speaker 2: Who is promoting his movie Flight Risk? You guys, I 1066 00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:14,839 Speaker 2: just want to make sure that we get that name 1067 00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:17,560 Speaker 2: out there. Where can people watch Flight Risk tofer. 1068 00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:19,360 Speaker 5: In the movie theaters. It's one of those ones that 1069 00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:20,520 Speaker 5: went to the movie theaters. 1070 00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:22,959 Speaker 4: Back to the movie theaters, all these theaters, movies and theaters. Again, 1071 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:24,600 Speaker 4: it's very exciting time to be alive. 1072 00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:27,160 Speaker 1: It definitely is. Yeah, well do we have time for 1073 00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:28,480 Speaker 1: a quickie? Like a two minute? 1074 00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:30,360 Speaker 4: Sure? In our way out? 1075 00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:31,200 Speaker 1: All right? 1076 00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:34,360 Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea, My lovely boyfriend of two years is on 1077 00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:36,759 Speaker 3: Tinder from time to time, and he says he's not 1078 00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:39,920 Speaker 3: doing much on there, not meeting anyone. We are together 1079 00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:42,120 Speaker 3: all the time at his place. He cooks for me, 1080 00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:44,480 Speaker 3: he fixed the roof, clean my gutters. My friends think 1081 00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:47,480 Speaker 3: he's great. We get on really well. We're both divorced 1082 00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,120 Speaker 3: with kids. I've never met his ten year old son. 1083 00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:53,600 Speaker 3: Our sex life is great. Why is he sabotaging things? 1084 00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:55,600 Speaker 3: He has no friends at all, and he's a bit 1085 00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:57,880 Speaker 3: of a loner who watches a lot of TV, scrolling, 1086 00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:00,960 Speaker 3: et cetera. He has a screen problem. Am I minimizing 1087 00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,799 Speaker 3: what he's doing. I found he's on there twice now, 1088 00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:05,160 Speaker 3: and one time he told me he was a bit 1089 00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:07,360 Speaker 3: drunk and looked on it. I can't talk to friends 1090 00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:09,520 Speaker 3: about it, really because the two male friends I have 1091 00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:11,719 Speaker 3: told have said dump him straight away. 1092 00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:13,080 Speaker 1: No one's perfect. 1093 00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:15,239 Speaker 3: But now I'm finding myself wondering if he's on there 1094 00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:17,959 Speaker 3: behind my back either I forgive him after he said 1095 00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,719 Speaker 3: sorry and move on done this three times now, or 1096 00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:22,759 Speaker 3: I go on there myself and find someone new. 1097 00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:23,680 Speaker 1: I really like him. 1098 00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:28,200 Speaker 3: Though he's really hot, he's just a bit introverted, right, Teresa. 1099 00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:31,120 Speaker 2: Teresa Sofer, can you just handle this as from a 1100 00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:32,280 Speaker 2: male perspective please? 1101 00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:34,080 Speaker 6: Yeah, I feel bad because she said she talked to 1102 00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:36,400 Speaker 6: two guys and they said, immediately dump. I mean, like, 1103 00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:39,480 Speaker 6: I'm gonna have the same reaction. It's your boyfriend, she said. 1104 00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:42,160 Speaker 3: Of two years Yeah, two ten year old child ship 1105 00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:43,719 Speaker 3: has never met all right. 1106 00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:46,120 Speaker 2: When you can't tell people things because they're going to 1107 00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:48,080 Speaker 2: tell you to dump your boyfriend, your answer is to 1108 00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:51,480 Speaker 2: dump your boyfriend. When you start withholding information because the 1109 00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:53,800 Speaker 2: advice that you're going to get is to dump your boyfriend, 1110 00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:55,480 Speaker 2: then it is time to dump your boyfriend. 1111 00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:58,879 Speaker 6: I when I first got with my wife, she had 1112 00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:01,319 Speaker 6: like a lot of friends, but she had two or 1113 00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:04,880 Speaker 6: three friends who were in these relationships. And yeah, that 1114 00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:07,759 Speaker 6: became my job too. I mean it was a self 1115 00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:09,840 Speaker 6: appointed job. My wife didn't ask me to do this, 1116 00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:10,680 Speaker 6: but I was like, what. 1117 00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:11,080 Speaker 5: Are you doing? 1118 00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:13,319 Speaker 6: Like he's like, I don't know, he threw a lamp 1119 00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:15,319 Speaker 6: in my head. But also he's like the nicest guy 1120 00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:17,439 Speaker 6: and I was like, whoaa whoa, Like, you got it, 1121 00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:18,120 Speaker 6: it's over. 1122 00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:20,840 Speaker 5: And one of them I did. 1123 00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:23,719 Speaker 6: I was so harsh with I think she caught me 1124 00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:26,000 Speaker 6: in like a bad mood or something, and I was like, look, 1125 00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:27,879 Speaker 6: you're an idiot, like you decide how you want your 1126 00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:30,400 Speaker 6: life to go. I was so harsh about it, but 1127 00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:31,560 Speaker 6: I was like, to stay with him, it'snna be a 1128 00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:32,040 Speaker 6: bad life. 1129 00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:34,840 Speaker 5: Dump him, you'll meet someone else, it'll be a good life. Whatever. 1130 00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:38,759 Speaker 5: And I just left the room. But she did. 1131 00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:40,439 Speaker 6: She dumped the guy, and like you know, three weeks 1132 00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:42,040 Speaker 6: later she met her husband there together now they have 1133 00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:42,920 Speaker 6: the most amazing life. 1134 00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:44,319 Speaker 5: But I get it. 1135 00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:46,360 Speaker 6: It can be so tough to get out of something 1136 00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:48,920 Speaker 6: for fear of like you know, no one's gonna like me. 1137 00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:50,560 Speaker 6: You know, this is the only person who like whatever 1138 00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:53,800 Speaker 6: the fear is. But I think better better to be alone. 1139 00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:56,040 Speaker 6: And the odds are you're gonna meet someone, they're. 1140 00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:58,280 Speaker 4: Kind of meet somebody. You're going to be another person. 1141 00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:01,200 Speaker 4: Don't make excuses like he's nice, fixes my drains or 1142 00:46:01,239 --> 00:46:03,399 Speaker 4: whatever the fuck he does. Who gives a shit? 1143 00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:07,120 Speaker 2: Go you decide, like what standards you are going to 1144 00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:09,600 Speaker 2: adhere to and what standards people need to meet to 1145 00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:12,200 Speaker 2: be in your life, and you are lowering them by 1146 00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:15,000 Speaker 2: allowing some guy who's on fucking Tinder while he's in 1147 00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:18,480 Speaker 2: a two year relationship. I mean, that doesn't make any sense. 1148 00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:20,160 Speaker 2: So you're lowering your standards for him. 1149 00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:22,840 Speaker 5: Wait, your standards should be Riah at the very least. 1150 00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:26,440 Speaker 2: Exactly On that note, we're gonna go because I think 1151 00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:27,440 Speaker 2: that's where we leave it. 1152 00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:29,960 Speaker 4: Thank you for actually Thank you Toper. 1153 00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:33,280 Speaker 5: For actually tender. I mean that should tell you everything, right. 1154 00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:36,279 Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, seriously, gosh, I mean, some people just 1155 00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:39,480 Speaker 2: stay with people because they have nothing. It's like we 1156 00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:40,840 Speaker 2: need a self esteem injection. 1157 00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:41,920 Speaker 4: People. Let's go. 1158 00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:45,200 Speaker 2: Okay, So if it was a pleasure speaking with you, 1159 00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:47,279 Speaker 2: you're so charming, I'm very excited for you. 1160 00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:50,040 Speaker 5: ID to say, I just think you're the best. 1161 00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:52,000 Speaker 6: I didn't want to do this up top so that 1162 00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:54,239 Speaker 6: only the people who listen the whole episode will listen 1163 00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:58,839 Speaker 6: to this. But I've been in Hollywood for a while now, there, 1164 00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:00,799 Speaker 6: I mean, you know as well as I do. There's 1165 00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:04,839 Speaker 6: so few authentic cool people, and you've always been one 1166 00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:06,279 Speaker 6: of them. I've known you for a while now. You've 1167 00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:08,200 Speaker 6: always been so cool, and I just I think you're 1168 00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:08,600 Speaker 6: the best. 1169 00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:11,000 Speaker 2: Oh, thank you. That's such a nice compliment. I really 1170 00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:14,640 Speaker 2: I appreciate hearing that so much to fer likewise, but you. 1171 00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:15,759 Speaker 5: Don't have to give it back to me. But I 1172 00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:16,759 Speaker 5: truly I feel well. 1173 00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:18,920 Speaker 4: That was the polite thing to do, so I did right. 1174 00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:23,239 Speaker 6: So now you're undoing the authentic copy. No, I'm saying 1175 00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:25,200 Speaker 6: that I'm cool, which I know is I. 1176 00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:27,239 Speaker 4: Meant it and then I said it and now I 1177 00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:27,839 Speaker 4: regret it. 1178 00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:30,160 Speaker 5: Well, anyway, it's good. I hope to see you more. 1179 00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:31,880 Speaker 4: Okay, I hope so too. I hope I buy a 1180 00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:35,760 Speaker 4: bitch to you soon. Take care, see you guys. Thanks, okay, bye. Thanks. 1181 00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:39,720 Speaker 3: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email 1182 00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:42,600 Speaker 3: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be 1183 00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:45,680 Speaker 3: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited 1184 00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:49,319 Speaker 3: and engineered by Brad dickerd executive producer Catherine Law and 1185 00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:51,839 Speaker 3: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot 1186 00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:53,960 Speaker 3: com