1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,640 Speaker 1: Welcome to How the Money. I'm Joel and I and 2 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:05,480 Speaker 1: Matt and today we're talking about the power of knowing 3 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 1: yourself with Rachel Cruz. Our guest today hardly needs an introduction, 4 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,960 Speaker 1: but we're gonna do it anyway. Rachel Cruise is a 5 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:36,040 Speaker 1: two time number one national best selling author, financial expert, 6 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,839 Speaker 1: and host of The Rachel Cruise Show. Since twenty ten, 7 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:42,160 Speaker 1: Rachel has served at Ramsey Solutions, where she teaches folks 8 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,960 Speaker 1: to avoid debt, save money, UH, and how to win 9 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: with money at any stage in life. She's authored three 10 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 1: best selling books, and her latest book, Know Yourself, Know 11 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 1: Your Money, is set to release in early January. UH. 12 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 1: Here on the show, we often talk about the why 13 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:01,200 Speaker 1: behind our money, and that is what this book is 14 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:04,840 Speaker 1: all about. It's all about self awareness and we're happy 15 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 1: to have Rachel with us today to talk about it. So, Rachel, 16 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,880 Speaker 1: thank you for joining us today on the podcast. Absolutely, guys, 17 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:13,560 Speaker 1: thanks for having me on. Rachel, We're so glad to 18 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,640 Speaker 1: have you on, and Matt and I every episode we 19 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,559 Speaker 1: like to have a craft beer while we're talking about 20 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,320 Speaker 1: personal finances. It's kind of our splurge what we spend 21 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:24,240 Speaker 1: money on now. While we're also saving and investing well 22 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:26,679 Speaker 1: for the future. So our first question, every guest, our 23 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:30,360 Speaker 1: first question to you is what is your craft beer equivalent? 24 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,480 Speaker 1: What do you like to spend money on right now 25 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:35,320 Speaker 1: while you're also doing an awesome job saving oh Man, 26 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:40,240 Speaker 1: alcohol is a great answer. Um, yeah, I think my 27 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:44,560 Speaker 1: splurge gosh is it probably is Cable. I love cable. 28 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,680 Speaker 1: I love TV and I know my husband WinCE and 29 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 1: he always is like, can we just be normal millennials 30 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:53,080 Speaker 1: and just stream everything? And I'm like, I know, but 31 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:55,640 Speaker 1: I just love the option cable. I don't know why. 32 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,440 Speaker 1: I think I'm like a six year old at heart, 33 00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 1: but that that that's probably my blurs that we spend 34 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 1: money on every month. That's kind of cringe worthy, but 35 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 1: we still do it. No. If hey, if that's what 36 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: brings you joy, then by all means, is there a 37 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 1: particular genre or style of show that you like that 38 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:12,720 Speaker 1: you like to watch or is it just the ability 39 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaker 1: to have anything at your fingertips? It's that to me. 40 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:17,919 Speaker 1: It's like, because I I love news, so I love 41 00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 1: any cable news on both sides of the spectrum. I'll 42 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:23,240 Speaker 1: watch the Fox News is, I'll watch the CNNs I mean, 43 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 1: I like all cable news, especially during election time. I'm 44 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,799 Speaker 1: like hooked. Um, yeah, all the network stuff. I mean 45 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,040 Speaker 1: the fact that we have sports available for Winston, and 46 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 1: then I have h G t V and Bravo and 47 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:35,960 Speaker 1: you know all the I don't know, I just like 48 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,800 Speaker 1: all the options. Nice. Let's let's talk about your book, Rachel. 49 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,840 Speaker 1: You know, so the new book, it's it's a little 50 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 1: bit of money and a lot of self discovery. So 51 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 1: why did you go in that direction with this book? Yeah? 52 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,280 Speaker 1: For me, Um gosh, it's just like this whole new 53 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,360 Speaker 1: way of looking at money. And about three years ago, 54 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:57,120 Speaker 1: I kind of went on this own, my own personal journey, 55 00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 1: if you will, of just discovering more about myself. I 56 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: feel I took the Angiograham, which is this personality type tests, um, 57 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 1: different person I tests. I read the book birth Order 58 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: um and just wondering, like, Okay, how do my birth 59 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 1: order affect me? I was in some counseling and and 60 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,799 Speaker 1: no big event caused me to do this. It just 61 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:15,200 Speaker 1: kind of was one thing after the other, and I 62 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,920 Speaker 1: just found it also intriguing to really discover why I 63 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,120 Speaker 1: do the things I do, and out of that I 64 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,399 Speaker 1: really became a healthier person. I mean emotionally, I feel 65 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,840 Speaker 1: like I was such a better wife and mom and friend, 66 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: and I was just aware of so much in my life. 67 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: And I thought, man, how would this affect my money 68 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,920 Speaker 1: if I take all these same principles I've been learning 69 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: and these questions, what happens if I apply it to 70 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 1: my money? And it was like this black hole of 71 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 1: like endless content and endless discovery. I thought, Oh, my gosh, 72 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:47,520 Speaker 1: why have I never done that? Because for ten years 73 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 1: of me teaching about money, you know, I talked to 74 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,360 Speaker 1: people all the time about how to budget and how 75 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 1: to get out of debt, and how to invest, and 76 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 1: how to give and how to build wealth and how 77 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: to refinance it, how to and knowing that that all 78 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 1: is so important. But I also teach that personal finances 79 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 1: behavior it's only head knowledge. So the head knowledge, we know, 80 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: it's such a small part to winning with money. Your 81 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 1: behavior has to change and that's what causes you to win. 82 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,599 Speaker 1: But I never really done large under the foundation of well, 83 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 1: why do we have the behaviors we have? And so 84 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 1: that's what this book is. It's just really discovering who 85 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:23,240 Speaker 1: you are, why you are, the way you are with 86 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,039 Speaker 1: money and then things you can do to change those 87 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,919 Speaker 1: habits into better ones. So you mentioned the indiogram, and 88 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 1: that's definitely like an interesting tool to help us understand ourselves, 89 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:36,640 Speaker 1: help us become a little more intimate with our own personalities. Um. 90 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 1: Are there any other tools that you found really really 91 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:42,440 Speaker 1: helpful when you're kind of going down this process of 92 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 1: self discovery and anything? Um, any of these tools that 93 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 1: you would recommend people looking into if they want to 94 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 1: kind of understand themselves at a deeper level. Yeah, I 95 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,839 Speaker 1: mean I went down you know, the whole Myers briggs 96 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:57,520 Speaker 1: Way disk angiogram. Um. Again, I've read that book for 97 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:01,240 Speaker 1: birth order, which was just fascinating. And then I mean 98 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,640 Speaker 1: I always recommend no matter who you are, what stage 99 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,520 Speaker 1: a life or whatever is, I would have a therapist 100 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 1: or a counselor, but someone that has the education to 101 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 1: be able to pull things out of you that, like 102 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 1: you had no idea was in there. I mean, all 103 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:15,840 Speaker 1: of that together for me was really helpful. But yeah, 104 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 1: I would say those I mean, just like if you 105 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,480 Speaker 1: were to google something. I think the angiogram was probably 106 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,320 Speaker 1: the best for me tool that I use of of 107 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,920 Speaker 1: understanding myself nice well. So on the note, so Joel 108 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:29,040 Speaker 1: and I, both of our wives are really into the intiagram. 109 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:34,600 Speaker 1: They have labeled us, you know, I mean I know 110 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:36,440 Speaker 1: it a little bit. But Joel is pretty sure that 111 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:39,040 Speaker 1: he's a seven based on what Emily has told him. Okay, 112 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,719 Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure I'm a five based on what my 113 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,600 Speaker 1: wife has told me. I keep going between a one 114 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 1: and a five. So I'm not nice. So I think 115 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 1: my wife is. She she's not sure if she's a 116 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,279 Speaker 1: one or a three. Okay, okay, so I love I 117 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 1: know so little about it that I can't tell you. 118 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:59,400 Speaker 1: I think maybe she's a four. I mean she's the individualistic, artistic. 119 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:05,279 Speaker 1: Yes the are yes, yeah, Rachel, what's your number? I'm 120 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 1: a three? Three, yes, But I really feel a three 121 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:14,080 Speaker 1: is the performer, the achiever. So I'm very motivated um 122 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 1: sadly sometimes by by what other people think, but also 123 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:23,200 Speaker 1: the achievement and being effective is like really big in 124 00:06:23,279 --> 00:06:26,280 Speaker 1: my personality. I just want to be effective. And yeah, 125 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:29,479 Speaker 1: our biggest fear as a three is being worthless, which 126 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,279 Speaker 1: I totally feel that. I feel that not only in 127 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 1: my work, but it's so crazy even like as a 128 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:35,760 Speaker 1: mom or a wife. Like, if someone sees me as 129 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 1: like not being everything they thought I was, it's like, oh, 130 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,599 Speaker 1: I don't know, which is very can be very unhealthy, 131 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,839 Speaker 1: but also you can use it in a healthy way too. Yeah, 132 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:48,160 Speaker 1: but I will say the seven I rank really high 133 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,920 Speaker 1: up there too, so I can I can turn into 134 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:54,039 Speaker 1: a seven pretty quick. Yeah, that's right, that's right, that's right. 135 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:59,000 Speaker 1: Language that it's impressive. I hear it talked about so much, 136 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,479 Speaker 1: it's it's started to rub offers right. Well, not to 137 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,360 Speaker 1: correct you, Matt, but I will say the wing is 138 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:05,960 Speaker 1: is the number before after your number. So I'm technically 139 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,120 Speaker 1: not a wing seven, so it's three. But you know 140 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 1: the fact you even said wing. I was really proud 141 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:17,000 Speaker 1: you go to a seven in stress? How about that, Rachel. 142 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,400 Speaker 1: At one point in the book, you say, when you 143 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,880 Speaker 1: know your motives, you're able to reach your goals faster. 144 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,720 Speaker 1: And I think you know, knowing a little bit more 145 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,080 Speaker 1: about yourself, in particular through the indiogramm or or what 146 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,040 Speaker 1: some of those some of those methods that you mentioned 147 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,640 Speaker 1: could be sober helpful. But what did you mean by 148 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:31,480 Speaker 1: that that when you know your motives you can reach 149 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 1: your goals faster? Well, you know why you're doing the 150 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 1: things you're doing. So, whether it's futuristic goals that you're 151 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 1: looking at saying, Okay, in the next five years, I 152 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:41,000 Speaker 1: want X, Y, and Z to be accomplished, or whether 153 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,720 Speaker 1: why what's your motivation for buying the thing you're buying. 154 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 1: I mean, any of those, any of those questions you're 155 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: asking yourself of why am I doing these things? Um? 156 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 1: It does it helps you realize, oh wow, that is 157 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,240 Speaker 1: why I value certain things, um in my life. This 158 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:57,080 Speaker 1: is why I'm spending money the way I'm spending it. 159 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,560 Speaker 1: I mean, just again, asking those why questions and getting 160 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,880 Speaker 1: underneath that foundation is is a big part of understanding Okay, 161 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 1: this is why um, I handle money the way I do, 162 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 1: and what I can do to change things I need 163 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:10,520 Speaker 1: to change. Yeah, all that impacts how it is that 164 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,360 Speaker 1: we handle our money, and so does our family. You 165 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,680 Speaker 1: have a unique family history with money, as you point 166 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:17,360 Speaker 1: out in chapter one. You know, you were born into 167 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,800 Speaker 1: a household that handles money, maybe a little bit differently 168 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:24,560 Speaker 1: than most folks. What did you discover, you know, during 169 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,640 Speaker 1: the writing of this book, even about your actual upbringing 170 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 1: and how that impacts your relationship with money today. Yeah, 171 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:34,319 Speaker 1: your upbringing is is such a huge piece of your story, 172 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 1: and like you said, why you handle money the way 173 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,280 Speaker 1: you do today, And so looking back is think it's 174 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,720 Speaker 1: so important for people to do that. Uh. Some people 175 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:42,840 Speaker 1: are like, no, I don't want to go back to 176 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,200 Speaker 1: my shildhood, don't take me back there. Um, but it 177 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,360 Speaker 1: is it's crucial to realize, Okay, this is how money 178 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 1: was communicated and our family emotionally or verbally. Um, here 179 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,280 Speaker 1: are the things that my parents did well that I 180 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,440 Speaker 1: want to emulate. Here are things that gosh, I wish 181 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,719 Speaker 1: I could unlearned from my parents because we all have that. 182 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,680 Speaker 1: But personally, I mean, I was born the year my 183 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 1: parents filed for bankruptcy and so um, the first few 184 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,440 Speaker 1: years of my life, I obviously have no memory of that. 185 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 1: But when my memories kind of start coming back, I'm like, Okay, 186 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 1: I now can understand the decisions my parents made, why 187 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 1: they made them, and even going back and talking to 188 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 1: them through through some of this book, because it's just 189 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:21,320 Speaker 1: it's fascinating what my perception was during that time versus 190 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 1: what they were seeing, what they were feeling. Yeah. So yeah, 191 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:28,280 Speaker 1: it's interesting when when you wrote that, Um, just I 192 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:31,360 Speaker 1: it brought me back to my money past, um in 193 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:34,079 Speaker 1: in my childhood and so my parents actually went through 194 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,200 Speaker 1: bankruptcy when I was a teenager, when I was like 195 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,760 Speaker 1: twelve or thirteen, and my sister, my sister's one was younger, 196 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,280 Speaker 1: one was older, and they both had a completely different 197 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 1: experience with that than I did. But for me, obviously 198 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 1: I'm co hosting a personal finance podcast, it had a 199 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:50,840 Speaker 1: big impact on me, and so I think that can 200 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:53,280 Speaker 1: be so powerful. I still have to go back to 201 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,839 Speaker 1: that and learn lessons because it's shaped so much of 202 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,040 Speaker 1: who I am. I have to go back, go back 203 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:02,280 Speaker 1: and see, well, am I going in a healthy direction 204 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:05,160 Speaker 1: based on what I experienced in childhood or am I 205 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 1: just reacting to it? And so it's something that um, 206 00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 1: I feel like I have to go back to over 207 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:12,120 Speaker 1: and over. Um. In your opinion, Rachel, what what do 208 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:14,000 Speaker 1: you think we need to come to grips with in 209 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:17,319 Speaker 1: our money history that can help us not just maybe 210 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,199 Speaker 1: fixate on an event in the past, but then actually 211 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,840 Speaker 1: move forward from it in a healthy way. Yeah. I 212 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:24,720 Speaker 1: think pinpointing where you came from as important. I write 213 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:27,920 Speaker 1: about these four money classrooms in the book, and you know, 214 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,520 Speaker 1: again like I said earlier. But the way money is 215 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:32,480 Speaker 1: communicated to either verbally, so either had open communication or 216 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,559 Speaker 1: closed communication, and emotionally it was either stressed or it 217 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,920 Speaker 1: was calm. And so when I was writing the manuscript, 218 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,920 Speaker 1: I was like, oh my gosh, this creates a quadrant, 219 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,120 Speaker 1: like Jesus gave me a graph and I'm just so 220 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:45,240 Speaker 1: happy about it. But like there was and so yeah, 221 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,400 Speaker 1: if you grew up in classroom one, that's the anxious 222 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,720 Speaker 1: money classroom, and so this tended to be high stress 223 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: level on the emotional scale and verbally closed. So you 224 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,040 Speaker 1: knew money was a stressful subject, but you couldn't really 225 00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:01,240 Speaker 1: pinpoint why. Class number two is the unstable money classroom, 226 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,520 Speaker 1: and this is when it's verbally open. So you heard 227 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:05,679 Speaker 1: about money talked about, but it was high stress, so 228 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 1: probably lots of conflicts, lots of attention, lots of fighting. 229 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,600 Speaker 1: You may hurt, your parents have the same money fight 230 00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:13,000 Speaker 1: over and over again. They may have even fought with 231 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:16,080 Speaker 1: extended family members about money, but it was heard um. 232 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 1: And then classroo number three is the unaware of money classroom, 233 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:22,640 Speaker 1: and this is where it's emotionally calm but verbally closed. 234 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,280 Speaker 1: So you kind of had your head in the sand 235 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:26,679 Speaker 1: a little bit. When it comes to money, if you 236 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,320 Speaker 1: were in this classroom, you just didn't really think about 237 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,880 Speaker 1: it much. It just wasn't a thing because your parents 238 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 1: didn't make it a thing. And then the fourth money 239 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:36,120 Speaker 1: classroom is the healthiest, and this is the stable money 240 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 1: club that I'm sorry, the secure money classroom. And this 241 00:11:38,679 --> 00:11:42,920 Speaker 1: is where it's emotionally calm and verbally open. And in 242 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,320 Speaker 1: this classroom, you don't have to have a ton of 243 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,040 Speaker 1: money to be in this. Some people think, oh, if 244 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,240 Speaker 1: I was just wealthier, you know, I would be in 245 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,360 Speaker 1: classroo number four, and that's not the case. You could 246 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,520 Speaker 1: have ten dollars but manage it really well with open communication, 247 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:56,440 Speaker 1: or you could have ten million, and so so PenPoint, Okay, 248 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:57,960 Speaker 1: this is kind of how I grew up, one of 249 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:01,640 Speaker 1: the four. And each classroom has its weaknesses. So classroom 250 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,199 Speaker 1: number one I find a lot of people. Again, money 251 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:07,000 Speaker 1: was was a point of tension and no communication, and 252 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,400 Speaker 1: so even being able to talk about money and having 253 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:12,920 Speaker 1: language around it can be really difficult, especially if you're 254 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,160 Speaker 1: married and you know you have a significant other. That's 255 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,600 Speaker 1: part of this whole equation with your finances. Um So 256 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 1: diving in and talking about it just from the get 257 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,480 Speaker 1: go is really difficult. And then classroom number two, that 258 00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:27,000 Speaker 1: unstable money classroom. Again, the communication part is really hard 259 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,400 Speaker 1: because a lot of people just feel like, gosh, it's 260 00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:32,160 Speaker 1: if I talk about money, it's automatically going to be negative, 261 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,280 Speaker 1: Like there's automatically going to be this instability that I'm feeling. 262 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,160 Speaker 1: And so sometimes it's just better if I just do 263 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,720 Speaker 1: my own thing. Classroom number three, you have to be 264 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,520 Speaker 1: very careful in the unaware money classroom that that ignorance 265 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,080 Speaker 1: is not bliss. And so in this I find, you know, 266 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:48,360 Speaker 1: sometimes a spouse um that was raised in this classroom, 267 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,640 Speaker 1: if the other spouse is really money driven, they'll just 268 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,400 Speaker 1: let the spouse do it. They're like, okay, yeah, yeah, 269 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,280 Speaker 1: you just take care of the money. I don't really 270 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:56,840 Speaker 1: have to worry about it, because that's how you grew up. 271 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,240 Speaker 1: You didn't worry about it. And that feels good and 272 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:00,199 Speaker 1: that feels comfortable. But I would say push it and 273 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,120 Speaker 1: and still, gosh, be on the same team and and 274 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:06,360 Speaker 1: push into those conversations. And then that fourth money classroom, 275 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,120 Speaker 1: even though that's the healthiest, I would say that there 276 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,520 Speaker 1: can be a level of entitlement, and a little bit 277 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:14,240 Speaker 1: of a level of not understanding the amount of sacrifice 278 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:16,719 Speaker 1: it takes to create that level four. So if you 279 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 1: came out of that environment, you may think, oh, well, 280 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,560 Speaker 1: it's gonna be easy and I'm going to be smart 281 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,560 Speaker 1: with money because my parents were good with it. I 282 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:26,120 Speaker 1: have no worries. And that's not the case. You have 283 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,960 Speaker 1: your own life and your own stories. You still have 284 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,720 Speaker 1: to engage and and you'll probably experience some of the 285 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:33,720 Speaker 1: sacrifices and hard work your parents took on to create 286 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,920 Speaker 1: that classroom for you. Right. So, then, on that note, 287 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 1: how it's not guaranteed that you're automatically going to fall 288 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,320 Speaker 1: into the class the money classroom that maybe you grew 289 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,640 Speaker 1: up in, right in, particularly if you have a spouse 290 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:49,080 Speaker 1: or a partner who maybe it came from somewhere completely different. 291 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:52,400 Speaker 1: What does it actually look like to move from one 292 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 1: of these classrooms to another to where you're able to 293 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,160 Speaker 1: maybe communicate about it a little better, or it's it's 294 00:13:57,160 --> 00:14:00,400 Speaker 1: you know, a less emotional conversation. Yes, yeah, well, well, 295 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:04,240 Speaker 1: pushing to that that number four classroom, that secure money classroom, 296 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:06,280 Speaker 1: is something I challenge the readers to do in the book, 297 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,320 Speaker 1: that no matter how you grew up, you can always 298 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,680 Speaker 1: move to that fourth classroom. And so what it takes, 299 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:12,520 Speaker 1: It takes a level of control with your money to 300 00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:16,400 Speaker 1: create that that emotionally calm household when it comes to money. 301 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,079 Speaker 1: And there's a tactical side to that, right, like when 302 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:20,560 Speaker 1: you're on a budget, when you don't have debt, when 303 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,240 Speaker 1: you when you're saving for the future and you have 304 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 1: an emergency fund. I mean, there's tactical things you can 305 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:28,800 Speaker 1: put in place that create this level of of calm 306 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:32,680 Speaker 1: and peacefulness if you will, about the subject that can 307 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,720 Speaker 1: be so insane. And I think that the insanity of 308 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:39,000 Speaker 1: this emotionally when it comes to money happens when things 309 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,480 Speaker 1: are unstable and you know, you if you re furloughed 310 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,680 Speaker 1: or you lose a job and you don't have um 311 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:46,000 Speaker 1: an emergency funds and you have bills to pay, I mean, 312 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,680 Speaker 1: that's going to create stress. But if you lost a 313 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:51,760 Speaker 1: job and you have no bills and you have money 314 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,640 Speaker 1: in the bank, there, yeah, there's still a little there's 315 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,640 Speaker 1: a percentage of fear of like Okay, I need to 316 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 1: get money coming in. Yes, but you're in a totally 317 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:02,000 Speaker 1: different emotional a position than someone else. So there's tactical 318 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,960 Speaker 1: things you can do to help the emotional side, and 319 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 1: then I would say the verbal side that communication. It 320 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:08,480 Speaker 1: takes a lot of practice because it can be really 321 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:11,360 Speaker 1: awkward at first. It's a very vulnerable subject, especially if 322 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,880 Speaker 1: you're married, um, within a family, or even to your 323 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,600 Speaker 1: kids to start that, but I would say it make it. 324 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,920 Speaker 1: It's a non shameful topic, like your money does not 325 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:21,720 Speaker 1: define you. And I feel like our our self worth 326 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,240 Speaker 1: has become our net worth in today's world, and that's 327 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:27,000 Speaker 1: not the case. This number that is attached to our 328 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:29,960 Speaker 1: financial world, it's not who you are. And to say, 329 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,320 Speaker 1: you know what I can, I can kind of put 330 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:33,600 Speaker 1: this distance between me and my money. But to look 331 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:35,720 Speaker 1: at my money as a tool and say, okay, what 332 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 1: can I do um to help this tool make my 333 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:41,760 Speaker 1: life better instead of more stressful. And so just talking 334 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 1: about your goals and your dreams and your fears and 335 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:46,600 Speaker 1: just having conversations around the bigger picture of money is 336 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,880 Speaker 1: where you can start out. Well, you just touched on 337 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,680 Speaker 1: some good stuff there, Rachel. We want to ask you 338 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,640 Speaker 1: more about that stuff. In particular, we want to get 339 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,640 Speaker 1: into the role of fear in handling our money. And 340 00:15:55,680 --> 00:16:07,920 Speaker 1: we'll ask you some questions about that right after this break. Alright, 341 00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,520 Speaker 1: we're back from the break talking with Rachel Cruz. We're 342 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,360 Speaker 1: talking through her books Some Know Yourself, Know Your Money 343 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,880 Speaker 1: and Rachel. Before the break, you know, we were talking 344 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:18,400 Speaker 1: about how so much of the way we view our 345 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:21,200 Speaker 1: money it's because of our childhood experiences. At the same time, 346 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 1: you know, you talk about our unique money tendencies in 347 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:27,160 Speaker 1: the book, you offer seven different ones to think about. 348 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,400 Speaker 1: How does thinking about our money tendencies? How does that 349 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:33,320 Speaker 1: help us to understand money in a deeper way? What 350 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 1: helps us? It reveals what we value in life. So 351 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,120 Speaker 1: one of the tendencies is when you spend money, do 352 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,280 Speaker 1: you tend to spend it on experiences or things? And 353 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:45,320 Speaker 1: I love experiences and like I all day we'll go 354 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:47,920 Speaker 1: out to a nice dinner, or go on a great vacation, 355 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 1: or take my kids to the zoo, like I will 356 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,640 Speaker 1: do an experience. Where my husband values things, He's like, 357 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:54,840 Speaker 1: you know what, I if I work hard, I want 358 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,320 Speaker 1: to be able to use something over and over again, 359 00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,120 Speaker 1: because that's where my hard work has been and I 360 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,880 Speaker 1: want to be able to use it. And so gosh, 361 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,159 Speaker 1: the first probably even a year and a half of 362 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:06,320 Speaker 1: our marriage. We got married young, and I remember even 363 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,160 Speaker 1: just going out to dinner and he would never buy 364 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,199 Speaker 1: a drink, like he would always get water. And I 365 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,399 Speaker 1: was like, Winston, have a glass of wine with me, 366 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:14,840 Speaker 1: or like get a coke, like I don't care, like 367 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:17,639 Speaker 1: like something, and he's like no, like I don't know, 368 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:19,359 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna waste you know, ten dollars on a 369 00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:21,119 Speaker 1: glass of wine when I could buy a whole bottle 370 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,919 Speaker 1: and you know, at the store down the street, And 371 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,000 Speaker 1: like for the budget, we're on a type budget and 372 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,879 Speaker 1: he's like, it makes no sense. And I wish I 373 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,280 Speaker 1: had this verbage because I'm like, you know what it's 374 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:31,560 Speaker 1: It's not because he's a saver and it's not anything 375 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:34,360 Speaker 1: like that. It's just he just genuinely does not value 376 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:37,920 Speaker 1: experience as the way I do. And so again having 377 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:39,560 Speaker 1: that verbage, like, man, I wish I had that, and 378 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,560 Speaker 1: that frustration probably wouldn't be there as much early on 379 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,840 Speaker 1: a marriage. But yeah, I think it's it's that kind 380 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,840 Speaker 1: of things when you go through the seven tendencies, neither 381 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,720 Speaker 1: one is right or wrong. There's not like a moral 382 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,520 Speaker 1: compass that this one's better or that one's better. It 383 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:54,520 Speaker 1: really is just your natural instinct with money, what comes 384 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:57,960 Speaker 1: to mind when of your personality, um and how you 385 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,920 Speaker 1: relate to it. And so that just helps kind of 386 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,600 Speaker 1: put verbiage and again these words too, Okay, this is 387 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,800 Speaker 1: what I value and here's where I lean and it's 388 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 1: not right or wrong, but just knowing it helps you. 389 00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:10,600 Speaker 1: So one of the other tendencies you had in there 390 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,879 Speaker 1: was the difference between a nerd and the free spirit. 391 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:14,920 Speaker 1: And a lot of times folks will be like, man, 392 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,840 Speaker 1: Matt and Jewel are are so similar when it comes 393 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,600 Speaker 1: to how they talk about money. But I feel like 394 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 1: that that's one instance where Joel's one of free spirit. 395 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:23,760 Speaker 1: I am totally the nerd. I'm the one that I 396 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:26,359 Speaker 1: mean every month, you know, I've got a zero some budget. 397 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:28,520 Speaker 1: I know where every single penny goes. If you intend 398 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:31,040 Speaker 1: to never look at an extel spirit from my whole life, 399 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:33,560 Speaker 1: but you like love them. Man, Joel's like, Everything's gonna 400 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,399 Speaker 1: be fine, you know, like is we just do the 401 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,000 Speaker 1: right things and everything's gonna fall into place. But yeah, 402 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,159 Speaker 1: can you can you either talk to that example or 403 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,120 Speaker 1: is another example that you can mention for our listeners. Yeah? Yeah, 404 00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:45,120 Speaker 1: the nerd and free spirit. It's definitely when it comes 405 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,800 Speaker 1: to money management. But I like specifically the budget. So yeah, 406 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:49,600 Speaker 1: do you just like you're saying, I mean, do you 407 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:52,840 Speaker 1: just thrive and excel and you thrive like the control 408 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,200 Speaker 1: of knowing that this is exactly what's happening, the planning, 409 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,119 Speaker 1: the predictability, it's all there and oh there's it just 410 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,440 Speaker 1: feels so good. Right. So that that's the nerd. That's 411 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,840 Speaker 1: my husband. He loves it all. Where I'm more the 412 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,679 Speaker 1: free spirit. Which is funny that I'm the one that 413 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,399 Speaker 1: talks about money day in and day out, but I 414 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,880 Speaker 1: am I'm like, I yeah, what was it Joel or Matt? 415 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:11,159 Speaker 1: Who's the free spirit? I'm more the free spirit. I 416 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:14,199 Speaker 1: could literally get by without a budget, as you know, 417 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,159 Speaker 1: I don't really need a budget because I'm I'm so 418 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:19,720 Speaker 1: focused on on saving and so yeah, but I feel 419 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,399 Speaker 1: like after that, and now that I've got the savings handled, like, 420 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 1: I mean, really, do I need to be enslaved to 421 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,600 Speaker 1: a budget? I know? I know, Yeah, I mean that's 422 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,879 Speaker 1: where I leaned for sure. I'm like, oh the details. 423 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,120 Speaker 1: I mean, at the end of the day, it's gonna 424 00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:33,399 Speaker 1: be fine. Like if I go to Chick fil A 425 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,399 Speaker 1: one more time. I think we're gonna be okay, Like 426 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:38,240 Speaker 1: it's fine, Like I yeah, that's totally where I tend 427 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:42,359 Speaker 1: to lead lean And there's another tendency as well, spender 428 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,400 Speaker 1: versus saver. And what's funny is a lot of people 429 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,679 Speaker 1: think that a nerd is automatically the saver and the 430 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:50,000 Speaker 1: free spirit's automatically the spender, where that's not always the case. 431 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,880 Speaker 1: My parents are a great example of this. My mom 432 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,880 Speaker 1: is a free spirit, but she is a saver. My 433 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,959 Speaker 1: dad is a nerd, but he's the spender. So so 434 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:00,720 Speaker 1: like that one can change too, just like you guys 435 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,000 Speaker 1: are saying, but yeah, just knowing, Okay, I am a 436 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:06,200 Speaker 1: I'm a spender at heart. I love I love spending money. 437 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,800 Speaker 1: I guess that's Why'm okay it's spending money on cable 438 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,600 Speaker 1: because I'm like, you know, that doesn't matter, it's fine, um, 439 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:13,440 Speaker 1: but yeah, I love I love spending money. Where Winston 440 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:16,840 Speaker 1: would be so content, so content just saving our whole 441 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,879 Speaker 1: paycheck and like we I laugh all the times, and 442 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,080 Speaker 1: like he is like the most low maintenance man I've 443 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,760 Speaker 1: ever met. I'm like he can walk into our pantry 444 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:26,479 Speaker 1: and making dinner out of anything. He'll like put peanut 445 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:30,000 Speaker 1: butter and flower together or something. I'm like, what's And 446 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:31,800 Speaker 1: I'm like, just let's just buy dinner. And it's like 447 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,400 Speaker 1: I'm good. I'm like, man, you're such a saver. All 448 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,840 Speaker 1: the classic peanut butter flower ball. I know, I know, 449 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,520 Speaker 1: so low maintenance. All right, let's talk about fear for 450 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,360 Speaker 1: a minute, Rachel, the role of fear in our financial lives. 451 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,399 Speaker 1: It's just it's like a really interesting thing and you 452 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,280 Speaker 1: tackled it really well. And most people, when we think 453 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,199 Speaker 1: about fear, it strikes us as a bad thing, but 454 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,560 Speaker 1: you talk about the positive effects that fear can have 455 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,480 Speaker 1: on how we handle our money. So like, when, in 456 00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:00,960 Speaker 1: your estimation is fear good? And why is it good? Yes? 457 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 1: I interviewed Dr chip Dot about this subject because I 458 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:06,240 Speaker 1: love his work on fear and he talks about how 459 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,480 Speaker 1: fear is a gift and really fear is you're not 460 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,439 Speaker 1: your body's natural reaction that you are in need, that 461 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,640 Speaker 1: you are in need of something. So when a fear 462 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:17,040 Speaker 1: rises up, it's just your body saying, oh gosh, I 463 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:20,080 Speaker 1: need help, whether it's a bear you know, running at you, 464 00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:22,639 Speaker 1: and you know, fear comes through you have to do something, 465 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,840 Speaker 1: you need help in that moment, or it's a money fear. 466 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,800 Speaker 1: And I love that because anxiety that that's in the 467 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:30,720 Speaker 1: unhealthy realm. I don't want us to get to a 468 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,720 Speaker 1: point where it's we're anxious and we have anxiety towards money, 469 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,920 Speaker 1: but just just a level of fear though to say okay, 470 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,800 Speaker 1: be able to name it and put things in place 471 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:43,160 Speaker 1: to help mitigate it. So one of the top financial 472 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,879 Speaker 1: fears for women actually um that in the survey done 473 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:51,040 Speaker 1: was the lack of security. So the question is you know, 474 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,120 Speaker 1: if something happens, am I going to be okay? Are 475 00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:55,359 Speaker 1: we going to be okay? That's the number one fear 476 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,600 Speaker 1: a woman has. And so putting these safeguards in place, 477 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,160 Speaker 1: just like what we were saying, but an emergency fund 478 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:02,760 Speaker 1: and getting out of debt, I mean, those kind of 479 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,760 Speaker 1: things set you up well where you're like, okay, yeah, 480 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:07,600 Speaker 1: if something happens, we are going to be okay because 481 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,560 Speaker 1: we've worked a plan where we're healthier financially and this 482 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,000 Speaker 1: feels good, but but it can still be there. I 483 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,560 Speaker 1: mean Onceton and I we've been doing this stuff for 484 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:18,560 Speaker 1: a decade now, we've been married, eleven years, and so 485 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,600 Speaker 1: we are we are on you know the baby steps. 486 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,080 Speaker 1: You know, we're on baby step seven. We're on the 487 00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:25,199 Speaker 1: last baby step. Like we we have no debt, we 488 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,399 Speaker 1: have savings, were funding our retirement, like we are on paper, 489 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:32,840 Speaker 1: in a great spot over ten years. But during the pandemic, 490 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:36,200 Speaker 1: I mean, gosh, I would say for sure April, even 491 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,280 Speaker 1: into early May. I mean I had so many nights 492 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,200 Speaker 1: I went to bed and I was like, babe, are 493 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 1: we gonna be okay? Like what is happening in our world? 494 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:46,239 Speaker 1: And on paper, I shouldn't have that fear, but I 495 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,480 Speaker 1: did because there was such uncertainty. But just to be 496 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:50,480 Speaker 1: able to name it and to say, okay, no, Rachel, 497 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,560 Speaker 1: don't focus on fear. You have to focus on the facts. 498 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:54,920 Speaker 1: And here are the facts of what's going on, and 499 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,119 Speaker 1: God forbid, just say everything went to hell in a handbasket. 500 00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,440 Speaker 1: You know. Winston's always like, baby, I will landscape yards 501 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:05,239 Speaker 1: like we well we exactly yet no matter what, like 502 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:07,919 Speaker 1: we are gonna be okay. And so yeah, focusing on 503 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,479 Speaker 1: the facts is a really important one during fear. And 504 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:12,639 Speaker 1: so for that, for that fear of am I going 505 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:15,120 Speaker 1: to be okay? Some people's answer though to that, sadly 506 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,080 Speaker 1: is no, we wouldn't be okay. I mean, if I 507 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:19,480 Speaker 1: lose a job where I'm furloughed during the pandemic, we 508 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,760 Speaker 1: have bills and we don't have savings. For Americans couldn't 509 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:25,720 Speaker 1: cover a four hundred dollar emergency in cash. So a 510 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:28,160 Speaker 1: fear in that in that instance is a really good 511 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,320 Speaker 1: thing because what that is saying is your body is 512 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,679 Speaker 1: saying I need help, I need to do something different. 513 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:34,840 Speaker 1: If I live like this, I'm going to continue to 514 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,120 Speaker 1: be in this constant fear. So then you can say, 515 00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:39,120 Speaker 1: you know what, no matter what, I'm gonna put safeguards 516 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,359 Speaker 1: in and change. So I'm handling my money so that 517 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,520 Speaker 1: this fear doesn't rise up to the level that it 518 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,320 Speaker 1: is right now. So you can see it as a gift. 519 00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:47,760 Speaker 1: And so whether it's a fear of I don't want 520 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,959 Speaker 1: to end up like my parents, that's that's a lot 521 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,320 Speaker 1: of people's fear. And to see your parents story and 522 00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:55,880 Speaker 1: what they did and make different decisions than what they did. Uh. 523 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,080 Speaker 1: Some people, it's a fear that external forces are going 524 00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:00,080 Speaker 1: to cause me not to win. So like whoever's in 525 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,040 Speaker 1: the White House or Corporate America or tax, like all 526 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,399 Speaker 1: these things I can't control, it's going to cause me 527 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:06,800 Speaker 1: not to win with money. Okay, well, let's look at 528 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:08,919 Speaker 1: the things we can control. So, so being able to 529 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,400 Speaker 1: name the fear and then focus on the facts of 530 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,679 Speaker 1: that fear is are the steps to really kind of 531 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:16,320 Speaker 1: push it down and to not let it take over 532 00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,280 Speaker 1: your life? Right? Yeah, well, so many of those fears 533 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,439 Speaker 1: are related to right. I mean, you started talking about 534 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,480 Speaker 1: the like the fear of security or insecurity, and then 535 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:24,800 Speaker 1: you just touched on one of the other ones that 536 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,959 Speaker 1: you mentioned there, which was the external factors and how 537 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 1: many individuals have seen those two collide when it came 538 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,320 Speaker 1: to the pandemic. Right, Let's let's keep talking about fear. 539 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,480 Speaker 1: In your book, Rachel, you know you also talk about, 540 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,640 Speaker 1: you know, not just a money fear, but this fear 541 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:41,440 Speaker 1: of man in the context of how we spend our money. Right, 542 00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,159 Speaker 1: that's one of those unhealthy sides of fear. And so 543 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:47,040 Speaker 1: tell us how that fear of man can you know, 544 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:50,200 Speaker 1: overcome us and can harm our ability to make smarter 545 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,960 Speaker 1: money decisions. Yeah, the fear of man is simply that 546 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,360 Speaker 1: you are you're you're going to purchase things, you're gonna 547 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,040 Speaker 1: do things with your money because of what other people think. 548 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,359 Speaker 1: And that's a really strong one in our world today. 549 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,399 Speaker 1: I mean, man, whether it's on social media or just 550 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,439 Speaker 1: comparing yourself to someone else at work or within your family, 551 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:10,919 Speaker 1: I mean, it's a it's a big one. And so 552 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,160 Speaker 1: to say to get to this point where you don't 553 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,000 Speaker 1: have a fear of what man is saying and just 554 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,199 Speaker 1: for your own family to do things that a lot 555 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,200 Speaker 1: of people maybe make fun of you for. I think 556 00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:23,480 Speaker 1: you're strange. You're actually probably living the right way because 557 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,240 Speaker 1: I look at like, you know, the Joneses are broke 558 00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:27,200 Speaker 1: and we're just trying to keep up with broke people. 559 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,399 Speaker 1: We're gonna end up broke. So what are things that 560 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,919 Speaker 1: we can do? And the level of sacrifice that we 561 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:33,399 Speaker 1: talk about, you know, to get out of debt and 562 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,040 Speaker 1: to do these things. It takes a level to say, I, 563 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,159 Speaker 1: I just don't care what you think of me, Like 564 00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:39,720 Speaker 1: I don't care what you think. And I get that 565 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:41,720 Speaker 1: a lot of my space, Like I I teach people 566 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:44,159 Speaker 1: no credit cards, and I people look at me like 567 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,080 Speaker 1: I have three eyes and they probably talk behind my 568 00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:47,920 Speaker 1: back and like she is the weirdest person. You don't 569 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,480 Speaker 1: any airline miles she's not getting because of this, like 570 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:51,760 Speaker 1: like all these things, and I'm like, you know what, 571 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,400 Speaker 1: I just don't care anymore. I don't care what people think. 572 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,320 Speaker 1: I'm going to continue to do what I'm doing. And 573 00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:58,280 Speaker 1: you have to have that level because of other people 574 00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:01,959 Speaker 1: and their opinions of you are driving your money decisions, 575 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,480 Speaker 1: You're going to probably be in a very average place 576 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,719 Speaker 1: in your life, and average financially in America is not 577 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,000 Speaker 1: a great one. So there's a level where you have 578 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,480 Speaker 1: to say, you know, I just don't care what you think. 579 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:13,919 Speaker 1: I don't care that do you think my car is crappy, 580 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:15,520 Speaker 1: because right now it is a little crappy, but I'm 581 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:17,920 Speaker 1: gonna buy a new one eventually in life. Or like, uh, 582 00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:19,640 Speaker 1: I don't care what you think. You know that we're 583 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,160 Speaker 1: not going on vacation this year, um, which I guess 584 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:23,760 Speaker 1: probably with a lot of people because of the pandemic. 585 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:25,199 Speaker 1: But like that used to be a weird thing if 586 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,280 Speaker 1: people like, what, you're not going on vacation, It's like, no, 587 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:29,800 Speaker 1: we're actually putting money away for savings, or we're getting 588 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,639 Speaker 1: out of debt or you know whatever it is. So 589 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:34,000 Speaker 1: it's just that fear, um that fear a man can 590 00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:36,680 Speaker 1: drive a lot of our unhealthy money choices. Yeah, I 591 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,280 Speaker 1: think sometimes you gotta hang out with other people who 592 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,439 Speaker 1: are trying to be weird in the same way, in 593 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,719 Speaker 1: the same positive direction to that can be so helpful. 594 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,320 Speaker 1: Right The people that are that are like pursuing the 595 00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:50,359 Speaker 1: same thing that you are, because most people are pursuing 596 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:53,800 Speaker 1: the stock lifestyle that leads them into more debt, into 597 00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:57,000 Speaker 1: having less savings, into being less secure financially. And so yeah, 598 00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:00,360 Speaker 1: if you can put yourself around other weirdos money, where 599 00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:01,760 Speaker 1: does I think it's gonna be helpful? It's a good 600 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:07,520 Speaker 1: thing unless it turns into a cult. Uh Rachel, At 601 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:10,840 Speaker 1: what point do you describe the antidote to fear as 602 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,640 Speaker 1: contentment um? And so, yeah, I want to ask you 603 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:17,000 Speaker 1: specifically for yourself, how do you how are you able 604 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,000 Speaker 1: to build more contentment into your life? And then how 605 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:21,720 Speaker 1: do you suggest other people try to find contentment? Because 606 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:25,280 Speaker 1: you're right, I mean scrolling through Instagram can instantly lead 607 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:28,280 Speaker 1: to the pangs of wanting more. How do you how 608 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,840 Speaker 1: do we build more contentment in our lives? Yes, contentment 609 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:32,760 Speaker 1: is it's such a huge subject and it's when I've 610 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:34,520 Speaker 1: I've written about in the past because it is such 611 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:37,440 Speaker 1: a big part of winning financially. I think the first 612 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,760 Speaker 1: step of contentment is just gratitude, learning to be grateful 613 00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:44,280 Speaker 1: and gosh, I mean heart filled with gratitude. There is 614 00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:47,320 Speaker 1: no room for discontentment when you are just grateful with 615 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:49,600 Speaker 1: where you are and and gratitude. You know that doesn't 616 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:51,679 Speaker 1: mean that you don't have goals or anything, but but 617 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:53,320 Speaker 1: just to say, you know what, I am going to 618 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:55,960 Speaker 1: be so thankful for where God has me in this moment. 619 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,960 Speaker 1: And added that gratitude leads to humility, and I love 620 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,760 Speaker 1: Rick Warren's quote on humility. He said, the humility is 621 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,680 Speaker 1: not thinking less of yourself, but it's thinking of yourself 622 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:09,080 Speaker 1: less and so putting other people on the forefront of 623 00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:12,240 Speaker 1: your mind. And I think giving and generosity flows out 624 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:14,399 Speaker 1: of this. But just having a humble mindset. We're like, 625 00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:16,479 Speaker 1: you know what, life's not all about me? Like we 626 00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:18,000 Speaker 1: we live in a world where we have a camera 627 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:19,800 Speaker 1: in front of our phones that looks at us to 628 00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,480 Speaker 1: take pictures of ourselves. Like I mean, it's just unbelievable, 629 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:24,439 Speaker 1: and I'm like, man, what have we just actually had 630 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,640 Speaker 1: an outward focus and say I'm gonna love and serve 631 00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,160 Speaker 1: people really well, and life's not all about me. There's 632 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:30,720 Speaker 1: a level of joy that comes out of that. And 633 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,919 Speaker 1: then out of that humility really does come contentments, but 634 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,480 Speaker 1: it starts with that gratitude, humility, and in contentment to 635 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,760 Speaker 1: it's not complacency. Um. I think it's just this peace 636 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,240 Speaker 1: in your heart with where you're at, and it's a 637 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,600 Speaker 1: it's an ongoing journey. Obviously, once you have contentment, you 638 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,320 Speaker 1: don't have it forever. I mean, I have times where 639 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,760 Speaker 1: I'm discontent and things and parts of my life, and 640 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,440 Speaker 1: so going back to that kind of formula for me 641 00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:57,160 Speaker 1: at least helps drive forward, um, that contentment. But it 642 00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:00,560 Speaker 1: is when people are content, Gosh, they live life within 643 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:04,240 Speaker 1: open hands. They're more generous, they can they save more money. 644 00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:07,200 Speaker 1: Content people are okay sacrificing their lifestyle and the short 645 00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:09,080 Speaker 1: term to get ahead in the long term. I Mean, 646 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:12,560 Speaker 1: there's so much because that the amount of stuff that 647 00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,200 Speaker 1: is told to us that we need, this level of 648 00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,560 Speaker 1: lifestyle that is told to us that we should have. Uh, 649 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:21,120 Speaker 1: it's pretty unbelievable. I'm like, God, there's just a level 650 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,840 Speaker 1: of entitlement we probably all have to a degree but 651 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:25,760 Speaker 1: we just keep thinking that stuff is going to make 652 00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:28,040 Speaker 1: us happy, and we become a rat and a wheel 653 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:32,640 Speaker 1: for our whole lives, running running, running, getting nowhere, keep buying, 654 00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:35,560 Speaker 1: and keep keep consuming bigger and better, thinking okay, well 655 00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,160 Speaker 1: maybe this thing is going to fulfill that or maybe okay, 656 00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:40,520 Speaker 1: maybe I'll be happy when I get this. And it's 657 00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:42,320 Speaker 1: a game and we play it all the time. But 658 00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:43,760 Speaker 1: I'm like, what if we just kind of cut all 659 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,040 Speaker 1: that out. I went on like a huge minimalist kick, 660 00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:49,040 Speaker 1: like two years ago. I was like, sell everything. I 661 00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,280 Speaker 1: was like, oh, I'm so done with it all because 662 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,320 Speaker 1: there it doesn't like I always say it's okay to 663 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,240 Speaker 1: have nice stuff, just at your nice stuff have you? 664 00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,719 Speaker 1: And we live in a culture where our stuff owns us. 665 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:02,920 Speaker 1: At owns us financially because we're in debt for it, 666 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 1: and it owns us because of our emotional place where 667 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,880 Speaker 1: we're at. We just consume and consume and consume, and 668 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:11,320 Speaker 1: so it puts us in a really bad spot, I think, 669 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:16,760 Speaker 1: financially and emotionally. So that contentment piece, Oh, it's huge, right, 670 00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,480 Speaker 1: I mean, it just takes having the proper perspective on it. Um. 671 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:21,160 Speaker 1: I mean, and you're saying it starts with gratitude, So 672 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,280 Speaker 1: I mean literally physically, what does that look like? You 673 00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 1: know you mentioned kind of being like holding this gratitude 674 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:28,080 Speaker 1: in your heart, but like outwardly, how do you even 675 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:29,760 Speaker 1: get to that point? Does it come with just maybe 676 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:32,520 Speaker 1: writing a few things down? Like how would you recommend 677 00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:36,600 Speaker 1: to somebody to take those first steps towards gratitude? Yes, uh, gosh, 678 00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 1: probably five years. It's been a while. Probably five years ago. 679 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:40,960 Speaker 1: I started this habit of writing down two things that 680 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,400 Speaker 1: I'm grateful for, and I did it on the notes 681 00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:45,320 Speaker 1: app on my iPhone and I would wake up because 682 00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:46,880 Speaker 1: every morning I used to wake up and like check 683 00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,640 Speaker 1: email and scroll Instagram, like all before my feet even 684 00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:51,520 Speaker 1: hit like the floor, which is so sad to say, 685 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,240 Speaker 1: but like that's where I was. And I thought, God, 686 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:56,360 Speaker 1: I'm starting my day off like this. And and so 687 00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:58,160 Speaker 1: I changed it up where I was like, I'm gonna 688 00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:59,560 Speaker 1: just think of two things I'm grateful for. It. I 689 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:02,320 Speaker 1: tried to do two different things each morning, and after 690 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:05,160 Speaker 1: years of doing it, I'm still I'm not consistent at 691 00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,239 Speaker 1: it today, I should say that, But like for for 692 00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,400 Speaker 1: years though, I did it, and I just had this 693 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:13,440 Speaker 1: running list of stuff and it was so helpful. So 694 00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:15,800 Speaker 1: I was starting there and then I would say verbalize 695 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,280 Speaker 1: it and it's a little vulnerable, but like, if there's 696 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,160 Speaker 1: people that you work with that you're just thankful for, 697 00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:23,720 Speaker 1: say it. If there if a spouse does something for you, 698 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:26,200 Speaker 1: show gratitude and be like I see that and I 699 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:29,600 Speaker 1: appreciate that. Thank you for doing that, um for your kids. 700 00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:31,480 Speaker 1: May have started doing this with my kids. They helped 701 00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:33,600 Speaker 1: so much around or the five year old does more 702 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:35,840 Speaker 1: and more, and I'm always like, I just I need 703 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:37,600 Speaker 1: to remind myself to tell her thank you. I'm like 704 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,240 Speaker 1: Mili Jane, thank you so much. Like I it's such 705 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:41,600 Speaker 1: a help to mom when you when you help me 706 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:43,520 Speaker 1: get diapers for Charles or like whatever it is. But 707 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:46,720 Speaker 1: just saying it out loud even changes your spirit and 708 00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:50,320 Speaker 1: who you are. That's awesome. I love it. And yeah, 709 00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:53,040 Speaker 1: you know, one of our best friends, when we have 710 00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:55,200 Speaker 1: dinner with them, they always do like, what's the best 711 00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:56,560 Speaker 1: thing about the day? What was the worst thing about 712 00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:58,480 Speaker 1: the day, And usually what the best thing about the 713 00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:01,280 Speaker 1: day was it's somebody in their family who who helped 714 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,720 Speaker 1: them out with something, something they did together, and it's 715 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:05,680 Speaker 1: that kind of thing. It's like, yeah, well it kind 716 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,800 Speaker 1: of got us motivated to start doing something similar at 717 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:11,200 Speaker 1: our dinner table. And I think those kind of acts 718 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,760 Speaker 1: of gratitude one, they helped build a healthy family, but 719 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:15,920 Speaker 1: they help remind you of what's important. It does, and 720 00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:17,640 Speaker 1: I think in our world today too, I'm like, we 721 00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:19,640 Speaker 1: are so I mean, I know, the word divided is 722 00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:21,640 Speaker 1: like thrown out all the time that high car country 723 00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:23,600 Speaker 1: is so divided, but it really is. I'm like, I 724 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:25,440 Speaker 1: go on social media and I'm like, I'm dying at 725 00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:27,400 Speaker 1: these comments that people make. I mean, it's just a 726 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,160 Speaker 1: it's so crazy. I feel like where we're living right 727 00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:32,440 Speaker 1: now in our world. And when you just have a 728 00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:35,200 Speaker 1: spirit of gratitude and you smile and you say thank 729 00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:37,080 Speaker 1: you and you say, hey, I'm grateful for that that 730 00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,800 Speaker 1: you just did, I mean that people don't hear that anymore. 731 00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,240 Speaker 1: It's so sad to say, but they don't. And so yeah, 732 00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:45,480 Speaker 1: stand out from the crowd, mean seriously, I mean, yeah, 733 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:47,600 Speaker 1: it's huge. So I'd like to say thank you for 734 00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:53,280 Speaker 1: having me on you guys already and I just jol 735 00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:56,120 Speaker 1: I am thankful for you. But it's a great circle 736 00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,400 Speaker 1: of thankfulness of Hey, Rachel, we do have a few 737 00:32:58,400 --> 00:32:59,800 Speaker 1: more questions we want to get you with you and 738 00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:11,320 Speaker 1: what it to those right after this break? All right, 739 00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:14,480 Speaker 1: we're back from the break and we're talking with Rachel Cruz. Rachel. 740 00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:17,560 Speaker 1: I love how you tie becoming a good saver to dreaming. 741 00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:20,200 Speaker 1: In your book, you said that not having savings is 742 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:23,280 Speaker 1: a warning sign that you've not tuned into your dreams. 743 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,280 Speaker 1: And so tell us about that and how meaningful dreams 744 00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:29,480 Speaker 1: help us to become better savers. Yeah. I never really 745 00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:32,440 Speaker 1: have attached the two before this book, because as I 746 00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:34,480 Speaker 1: was writing it, though, I was thinking, okay, asking the 747 00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:36,400 Speaker 1: question why do we save the way we save? And 748 00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:38,960 Speaker 1: I do that with giving and spending two. But on 749 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,000 Speaker 1: the saving side, I thought, well, why do we save 750 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:42,920 Speaker 1: what we save? And I thought, well, there's like the 751 00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:45,440 Speaker 1: practical side that what I teach of the emergency fund 752 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:48,440 Speaker 1: and saving fiftcent of your income to retirement all that, 753 00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:52,080 Speaker 1: but above and beyond that, why would you be saving 754 00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:53,520 Speaker 1: and what are you saving? Four? And so I just 755 00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:55,240 Speaker 1: thought back in my own life, what are things Onceton 756 00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:57,960 Speaker 1: and I have saved for over the years of marriage, 757 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,400 Speaker 1: And it's all gold and dreams that we had of 758 00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,880 Speaker 1: like whether it was a you know, our first vacation 759 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:05,160 Speaker 1: we took as a married couple after our honeymoon, or 760 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,560 Speaker 1: it was building at home, like whatever it was big 761 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,360 Speaker 1: or small, it was these things. I thought, Okay, we 762 00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,359 Speaker 1: have these dreams in life, and majority of dreams, not all, 763 00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:16,799 Speaker 1: but majority of them have a financial aspect to it 764 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:19,040 Speaker 1: that you have to fund. And so um, I know 765 00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:21,160 Speaker 1: for us though, we can gosh, we can get to 766 00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,080 Speaker 1: the end of a week and just think, did we 767 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:25,080 Speaker 1: even look up? Because I feel like you're just like 768 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,399 Speaker 1: you're waking up and doing breakfast and getting kids ready 769 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,560 Speaker 1: and going to work and coming home and doing homework 770 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:31,640 Speaker 1: and bedtime and dinner and going to bed, and then 771 00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:33,840 Speaker 1: you're exhausted and fall asleep and wake up and you 772 00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:36,600 Speaker 1: just do it again. It almost feels like groundhog Day. 773 00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,800 Speaker 1: And if you if you're not purposeful of saying okay, no, 774 00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:41,600 Speaker 1: what you know what, we're gonna just stop and look 775 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,160 Speaker 1: up and just say, Okay, what do we want in 776 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:47,279 Speaker 1: the next year, five years, ten years, and dream And 777 00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,399 Speaker 1: when you have those dreams and you get excited about 778 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:50,880 Speaker 1: them and they keep kind of rising up, then you 779 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:53,279 Speaker 1: can say, okay, this one's sticking. This is something we 780 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,760 Speaker 1: really want to do, then you can then the savings 781 00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:58,680 Speaker 1: aspect follows it because you're excited to save, or at 782 00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:01,400 Speaker 1: least for me, So them saving two can feel like 783 00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,680 Speaker 1: this black hole that I just especially in my like 784 00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:05,239 Speaker 1: four oh one K and roth ira A. I'm like, 785 00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,040 Speaker 1: I know I can see the numbers growing, but it 786 00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:10,520 Speaker 1: just feels like all this is going away for future. Yeah, 787 00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,200 Speaker 1: I mean, gosh, I'm like, oh so, but these these 788 00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,319 Speaker 1: other dreams that are so much more tangible in the 789 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:18,680 Speaker 1: moment um, they do they help you, They help you save. 790 00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:21,000 Speaker 1: And when you don't have something you're excited to save for, 791 00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:24,120 Speaker 1: that means you probably don't have a dream you're excited about. Yeah. 792 00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:26,239 Speaker 1: So so then when we do have the dream, how 793 00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:29,160 Speaker 1: do we turn the dream then into like that money 794 00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:33,040 Speaker 1: saving reality. I would say, make make small goals and 795 00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:34,920 Speaker 1: so figure out, Okay, how much is this dream going 796 00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,920 Speaker 1: to cost? Whether it's maybe moving to a different school 797 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:42,160 Speaker 1: district or starting a business or going on a vacation 798 00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,600 Speaker 1: like whatever that dream is. That you have to kind 799 00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:45,960 Speaker 1: of put it out there and say, okay, here's what 800 00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:48,040 Speaker 1: I need for it, here's the timeline, and then just 801 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,960 Speaker 1: break it down into small bite sized pieces that you 802 00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:53,120 Speaker 1: can have these goals short term goals to save up 803 00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,279 Speaker 1: for it. Um that's the tactile side. But I would 804 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:58,120 Speaker 1: also say to dig into the dream and ask those 805 00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:00,919 Speaker 1: why questions. You know, I hear a lot of people say, well, 806 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,560 Speaker 1: you know, one big goal we have is to go 807 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,560 Speaker 1: on a week long vacation to Hawaii or like whatever 808 00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:09,480 Speaker 1: the thing is, and to ask yourself, well, why do 809 00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:12,239 Speaker 1: you want to do that? It's like, well, I want 810 00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:13,919 Speaker 1: to just be with my family. Okay, So you want 811 00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:16,920 Speaker 1: quality time with your family. Why do you want that? 812 00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:18,759 Speaker 1: Because I don't feel like I have it all the 813 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:21,640 Speaker 1: time because we're so busy. Okay, So you kind of 814 00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:24,640 Speaker 1: start asking this and then find the things that it's 815 00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:26,920 Speaker 1: fueling the dream and what can you do in the 816 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:29,440 Speaker 1: short term. So if it really is quality time with 817 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:31,759 Speaker 1: family in your a way so you don't have the 818 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:35,160 Speaker 1: distractions of life, can you It sounds cheesy, but seriously, 819 00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:36,759 Speaker 1: like that weekend, can you just go to the park 820 00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:38,560 Speaker 1: with your family for three hours and get a little 821 00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:41,560 Speaker 1: glimpse of having that dream accomplished on a on a 822 00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:44,759 Speaker 1: very small end, but asking your your wise of the 823 00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:48,920 Speaker 1: dreams and finding ways to accomplish those throughout the saving process, 824 00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:51,280 Speaker 1: so you get to the big actual dream is important 825 00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:53,680 Speaker 1: to Yeah, well, and you can. I mean you've broken 826 00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:55,160 Speaker 1: them up as well. Right, So you've kind of talked 827 00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:57,360 Speaker 1: about some of these shorter term dreams, like a vacation 828 00:36:57,640 --> 00:36:59,640 Speaker 1: something like that, like longer term dreams, I guess are 829 00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:02,120 Speaker 1: you know, things more like maybe retirement, maybe stepping away 830 00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,839 Speaker 1: from a high pressure job. But you also talk about 831 00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:07,720 Speaker 1: these shared dreams, right, And that's where you dream together 832 00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:10,319 Speaker 1: with you know, your partner. You've been building your dream 833 00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:13,200 Speaker 1: house together with your husband. Congrats on that, But you know, 834 00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:15,799 Speaker 1: achieving a dream with someone you love can be more 835 00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:19,800 Speaker 1: gratifying and simultaneously more tricky. Uh. And so what tips 836 00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:22,799 Speaker 1: do you have for dreaming well with the person that 837 00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,480 Speaker 1: you love. Yeah, having a shared dream with your spouse 838 00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:27,080 Speaker 1: is really key. I think we all can have our 839 00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:30,640 Speaker 1: own individual dreams, which is fine because we all have 840 00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:33,239 Speaker 1: our own passions and hobbies and things that we all 841 00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:36,120 Speaker 1: love on an individual basis. But together as a couple, 842 00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:39,399 Speaker 1: if you're married, having something you're working towards together. Yeah, 843 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:43,080 Speaker 1: and Winston I's big one was was this house? And um, 844 00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,880 Speaker 1: we were kind of nervous about it because we heard homebuilding, 845 00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:48,799 Speaker 1: you know, people like want to be divorced after and 846 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:50,759 Speaker 1: we're like, oh, gosh, okay, should we like enter into 847 00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,279 Speaker 1: this um. But we had so much fun. And I 848 00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:55,359 Speaker 1: said it in the book, but it's true, like when 849 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:58,160 Speaker 1: we moved into that house, Honestly, the fact that we 850 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,440 Speaker 1: did it financially, in the in the goals that we 851 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:02,480 Speaker 1: wanted for it, that we actually did it, like we 852 00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:07,160 Speaker 1: accomplished it was as not as more fun than moving 853 00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:08,799 Speaker 1: into the house. I mean, we looked at each other 854 00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:10,640 Speaker 1: so many times in the process and like we are 855 00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:14,600 Speaker 1: doing this, Like we sacrificed and we put goals out 856 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:16,520 Speaker 1: there and we worked hard. I mean I took extra 857 00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:18,840 Speaker 1: speaking gigs and like we I mean we did things 858 00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:23,520 Speaker 1: around ourselves financially, um that kind of felt impossible at 859 00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:25,400 Speaker 1: the time, like can we really do this? But as 860 00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:28,480 Speaker 1: we're hitting these goals along the way, it was so fun. 861 00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:32,200 Speaker 1: And it brings you together because it forces communication, forces unity, 862 00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:34,799 Speaker 1: and when you work on the same team and you 863 00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:38,320 Speaker 1: see yourselves on the same team versus enemies through any 864 00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:40,719 Speaker 1: any part of life and marriage, like it's such a 865 00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:43,200 Speaker 1: much more enjoyable process. And I think money becomes a 866 00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:45,600 Speaker 1: wedge for a lot of people where it becomes the 867 00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:47,880 Speaker 1: thing where hey, we're so different, we're so opposite, and 868 00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:50,800 Speaker 1: so that's just gonna automatically, I mean that it's negative 869 00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:52,480 Speaker 1: and there's gonna be conflict, and it's not a thing 870 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,600 Speaker 1: of unity where if you flip it and say no, no no, no, 871 00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:56,520 Speaker 1: we are on the same team and yeah, we're different, 872 00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:58,920 Speaker 1: have different personalities, but when we can find ways to 873 00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:03,440 Speaker 1: work together and have a shared goal together, oh, there's 874 00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:06,799 Speaker 1: so there's such unity and and such excitement to it. 875 00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:10,080 Speaker 1: That's great. Yeah. And and let's talk about too about 876 00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:13,200 Speaker 1: making change stick. This is another topic that you covered 877 00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:15,040 Speaker 1: in the book. And when it comes to doing smart 878 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:17,600 Speaker 1: things with our money, you write about the difference between 879 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:21,480 Speaker 1: being involved and being committed. So how are those different 880 00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:23,120 Speaker 1: and what does that look like when it comes to 881 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:25,239 Speaker 1: our money. Yes, this was the part of the book 882 00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:26,880 Speaker 1: that I'll say, Okay, if you're ready to kind of 883 00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:30,120 Speaker 1: go on this journey of not under not only understanding 884 00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:31,440 Speaker 1: who you are and why you do the things you 885 00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:33,040 Speaker 1: do with money, but to say, you know what, I 886 00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:35,000 Speaker 1: may have to change the way I've been handling money 887 00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,799 Speaker 1: to actually get progress the progress that I want. Uh, 888 00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:39,719 Speaker 1: it may mean that you're gonna just flip everything on 889 00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:42,040 Speaker 1: its head and start this whole new path. And so 890 00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:45,279 Speaker 1: because of that, I say, you know, you can be uh, 891 00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:48,200 Speaker 1: you can be involved, which means yeah, I'll kind of 892 00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:49,759 Speaker 1: do it ish, but I'm gonna kind of do it 893 00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:52,719 Speaker 1: my way. I mean, I'll see. It's just gonna take 894 00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,120 Speaker 1: a lot longer to have progress. There's just not as 895 00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:57,560 Speaker 1: much motivation there. But when you are committed and you said, 896 00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:58,880 Speaker 1: you know what, this is the way I'm doing it. 897 00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:00,760 Speaker 1: It's a little bit more of a black and white stance. 898 00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:03,240 Speaker 1: But when you say I am going to be committed 899 00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:05,440 Speaker 1: to this and we're going to do it together, like 900 00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:08,440 Speaker 1: no bones about it, we're doing it, the progress comes 901 00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:11,200 Speaker 1: so much faster. And what happens in a married couples, 902 00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,279 Speaker 1: there's usually one or the other. There's usually one that's 903 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:16,399 Speaker 1: really committed to one that's like involved. And so yeah, 904 00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:17,759 Speaker 1: in that part of the book, I talked about when 905 00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:20,440 Speaker 1: you when you decide to change the behavior. If you 906 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:22,799 Speaker 1: are all in and you are committed, the progress you're 907 00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:25,200 Speaker 1: going to see so much faster than if you're just 908 00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:28,799 Speaker 1: involved on the sidelines. Rachel, last question, if you know 909 00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:30,439 Speaker 1: we go through with some of these steps that we've 910 00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:33,800 Speaker 1: talked about, Like obviously, hopefully at least we will understand 911 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:36,600 Speaker 1: ourselves on a deeper level a little bit better. But 912 00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:38,879 Speaker 1: then how do we take that deeper understanding and then 913 00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:42,600 Speaker 1: turn it into meaningful, lasting change, Like essentially, do you 914 00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:44,600 Speaker 1: have some tips for us to, you know, to make 915 00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:47,560 Speaker 1: sure that we are being committed? Yeah, I would say, 916 00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:49,840 Speaker 1: look at all of the behaviors that have caused you 917 00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:51,799 Speaker 1: to get to where you are. They're unhealthy. So look 918 00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:53,760 Speaker 1: back and say, Okay, yeah, I really am still taking 919 00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:56,320 Speaker 1: this childhood fear with me or the way my parents 920 00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:58,319 Speaker 1: always did things, I rebelled against it, so I'm doing 921 00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:00,640 Speaker 1: the complete opposite. So maybe I went to extreme there, 922 00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,520 Speaker 1: or my financial fears are driving a lot of my 923 00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:06,239 Speaker 1: motivations and I'm paralyzed that I'm not moving forward, Okay, 924 00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:07,919 Speaker 1: I need to. I need to recognize that. Or maybe 925 00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:10,520 Speaker 1: I'm extreme on one of the tendencies we talked about. 926 00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:13,719 Speaker 1: Maybe I'm an extreme spender and I really really don't 927 00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:15,680 Speaker 1: save money and I have to realize, well, I have 928 00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:18,080 Speaker 1: to save money to get ahead. Or maybe one of 929 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:21,200 Speaker 1: those spectrums to talk about two tendencies is status versus 930 00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:23,239 Speaker 1: safety and the why why do you want to learn 931 00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:25,360 Speaker 1: with money is and more for safetier status, and and 932 00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:27,920 Speaker 1: either extreme of those is unhealthy. And so just kind 933 00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:29,960 Speaker 1: of going through the book to realize, Okay, I'm understanding 934 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:31,560 Speaker 1: who I am and this is why I'm doing what 935 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:34,360 Speaker 1: I'm doing, and these are the unhealthy parts of me. 936 00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:37,239 Speaker 1: Just being able to understand that and name it, you 937 00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:40,319 Speaker 1: end up not having to play Wacamo mole in your life. 938 00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:41,719 Speaker 1: Like I feel like sometimes it's like, yeah, I hit 939 00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:43,920 Speaker 1: one problem down, but another pops up and uh, and 940 00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:46,680 Speaker 1: you're just going side to side when you can say, no, 941 00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:49,160 Speaker 1: I'm gonna look at me as an entirety, entire person 942 00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,000 Speaker 1: and to say, Okay, here are the things that I value. 943 00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:52,759 Speaker 1: Here the things that I'm really struggling with. Here are 944 00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,799 Speaker 1: my weaknesses. Here are ways that I can implement good 945 00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:57,600 Speaker 1: money habits. I know I need to be a little 946 00:41:57,600 --> 00:41:59,840 Speaker 1: bit more intentional with saving Okay, I know that I 947 00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:01,920 Speaker 1: have to forgive my parents for X, Y, and Z, 948 00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,440 Speaker 1: because I have bitterness towards them and it's affecting the 949 00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:06,680 Speaker 1: way I'm like spending my money almost out of rage. 950 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:09,440 Speaker 1: I mean, whatever, whatever those unhealthy things are to be 951 00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:11,840 Speaker 1: able to see it and pivot from that and change 952 00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,040 Speaker 1: from that. Are those tools you can put in your 953 00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:16,960 Speaker 1: tool belt moving forward to become healthier in the way 954 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,920 Speaker 1: you view money overall. Well, Rachel, thank you so much 955 00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:23,120 Speaker 1: for taking the time to join us on the podcast today. 956 00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:25,560 Speaker 1: We really really appreciate it, and thanks for writing this 957 00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:29,000 Speaker 1: awesome book. Um, Know Yourself, Know Your Money? So good. Yeah, 958 00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:31,440 Speaker 1: where can people find out more about this book that's 959 00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:33,279 Speaker 1: set to release in just a couple of weeks. Yes, 960 00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:35,239 Speaker 1: thank you, Matt, Thanks Joel uh if you can go 961 00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:38,000 Speaker 1: to Rachel Cruise dot com or anywhere books are sold. Well, 962 00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:40,560 Speaker 1: thank you so much. We really appreciate it. Rachel, Thanks guys, 963 00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:42,960 Speaker 1: Joel Man. What a great conversation we just had here 964 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:46,600 Speaker 1: with Rachel Cruz her new book, Know Yourself, Know Your Money. 965 00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:49,520 Speaker 1: It really is fantastic. In particular, I'm so glad that 966 00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:50,960 Speaker 1: we talked We talked about this at the beginning of 967 00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:53,319 Speaker 1: the episode, but she talked about those different quadrants, the 968 00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:55,399 Speaker 1: different you know money classrooms that we you know, where 969 00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:58,120 Speaker 1: we grew up talking about money in different ways. So 970 00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:01,960 Speaker 1: incredibly helpful. And you can easily identify your household right 971 00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:04,000 Speaker 1: as a kid when you see it and how you 972 00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,759 Speaker 1: grew up, Like the classroom you grew up in you 973 00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:10,000 Speaker 1: spent all those years, in all your formative childhood years 974 00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:13,080 Speaker 1: massively influences who you are and how you handle money today. 975 00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:14,759 Speaker 1: But at the same time, like she said, you're not 976 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,440 Speaker 1: stuck there completely, and in particular, when you have a 977 00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:19,440 Speaker 1: partner somebody else who you're working with when it comes 978 00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:22,480 Speaker 1: to your finances. Unless you were raising a very very 979 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:26,320 Speaker 1: healthy household where you talked about money really well, chances 980 00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:29,040 Speaker 1: are you're working towards improving. You're working towards progress, right 981 00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:31,360 Speaker 1: Even then, I love what she said, Like, the biggest 982 00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:35,920 Speaker 1: challenge to someone in that healthy quadrant is entitlement, is 983 00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:39,000 Speaker 1: thinking that you're gonna inherit the way your parents handled money, 984 00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:41,319 Speaker 1: and that's not always takes work. It takes work on 985 00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:43,880 Speaker 1: your own part too, exactly. Yeah, So we're not going 986 00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:48,279 Speaker 1: to rehash the entire interview. Rachel is so great, but yeah, man, 987 00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:50,680 Speaker 1: what was your big takeaway from this conversation? All right? So, 988 00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:54,040 Speaker 1: I think my biggest takeaway is that people should dream more. 989 00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:57,000 Speaker 1: I think you're it was not gonna be yours too. 990 00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:02,080 Speaker 1: I think ultimately, like your dreams um and the clarity 991 00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:06,520 Speaker 1: of those dreams is such a massive game changer in 992 00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:10,239 Speaker 1: how you handle your finances. If you have a big 993 00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:13,719 Speaker 1: share dream with a spouse, or if you have if 994 00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:16,719 Speaker 1: you live alone, whatever it is, a motivating dream can 995 00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:20,320 Speaker 1: be all the difference in getting you excited about saving 996 00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:22,440 Speaker 1: your money or paring back on your bills. Right. The 997 00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:24,680 Speaker 1: dream is often just the catalyst to get you going 998 00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:27,759 Speaker 1: and to make you happy to actually cut back on 999 00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:30,080 Speaker 1: something that you normally would spend money on. Um And 1000 00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:32,600 Speaker 1: we found out the case in in our lives, Emily 1001 00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:35,120 Speaker 1: and I and even before we were married, that dream 1002 00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:38,960 Speaker 1: of doing things when I was a solo dude was 1003 00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:42,759 Speaker 1: was so so helpful in influencing my why behind why 1004 00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:44,960 Speaker 1: I was saving more, why I was putting more money 1005 00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:47,960 Speaker 1: away for the future. And yeah, I totally resonated when 1006 00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,560 Speaker 1: when Brachel was talking about how every day can feel 1007 00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:53,359 Speaker 1: like groundhog Day. You're getting the kids dressed and fed, 1008 00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:55,040 Speaker 1: and then you know you're going off to work and 1009 00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:57,480 Speaker 1: you come home and you guys eat dinner together again 1010 00:44:57,520 --> 00:45:00,959 Speaker 1: and you put the kids. You're tired, and so yeah, 1011 00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:02,960 Speaker 1: you have to find those times. You have to carve 1012 00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:05,000 Speaker 1: out those times to talk about and think about your 1013 00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:07,680 Speaker 1: dreams in order to start working towards them. Um. And 1014 00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:10,680 Speaker 1: then that will I promise you affect the way that 1015 00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,680 Speaker 1: you save and bend today too. So yeah, I don't know, Matt, 1016 00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:15,680 Speaker 1: what was your big takeaway from this episode? Obviously it 1017 00:45:15,719 --> 00:45:16,920 Speaker 1: was going to be that one. Yeah, I'll talk a 1018 00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:19,120 Speaker 1: little bit about that though. Yeah, and that's what she said. 1019 00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:21,560 Speaker 1: She said, if you aren't excited about saving, then you 1020 00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:23,959 Speaker 1: probably have a dream that you're also not excited about 1021 00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:26,400 Speaker 1: as well. Right, So once you find that motivation that 1022 00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:29,440 Speaker 1: can fuel everything like that is the reason why it 1023 00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:30,960 Speaker 1: is that you're getting up. Obviously, you have to pay 1024 00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:33,560 Speaker 1: the bills. There's sort of like this baseline dream that 1025 00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:38,040 Speaker 1: you're basically required to pursue to not getting closed on. Yeah, exactly. 1026 00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:41,080 Speaker 1: But beyond that, finding different ways to put those dreams 1027 00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:44,000 Speaker 1: front and center is I think the trickiest thing, because 1028 00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:46,359 Speaker 1: it can be so easy to get caught up in 1029 00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,520 Speaker 1: just doing the motions of our daily lives, and when 1030 00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:50,960 Speaker 1: we lose sight of those dreams, Uh, it can be 1031 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:52,799 Speaker 1: easy to kind of, I don't know, fall off the 1032 00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:56,080 Speaker 1: wagon a little bit, not prioritize savings quite as much. Um. 1033 00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:58,040 Speaker 1: And so I guess that kind of maybe segways. So 1034 00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:00,400 Speaker 1: my runner up when it comes to by the takeaway, 1035 00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:02,919 Speaker 1: which was early on she talked about how essentially doing 1036 00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:06,040 Speaker 1: smart things with our money, it's only head knowledge, right, 1037 00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:08,600 Speaker 1: there's a certain level of instruction that we need. We 1038 00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:10,400 Speaker 1: need to know how to be able to open certain accounts, 1039 00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:12,680 Speaker 1: keep track of our money, you know, the basics. But 1040 00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:16,360 Speaker 1: beyond that, the other is all behavioral, and that's what 1041 00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:18,400 Speaker 1: this book is all about. She really speaks to behavior 1042 00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:20,880 Speaker 1: how it is that we need to be thinking about 1043 00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:23,000 Speaker 1: our money, and a lot of it starts with knowing 1044 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,480 Speaker 1: how it is that we grew up thinking about money, 1045 00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:27,840 Speaker 1: because that just influences how we handle it today. And 1046 00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:30,359 Speaker 1: so my encouragement, you know, from that takeaway is that 1047 00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:32,360 Speaker 1: if you've been listening to the show for a while, 1048 00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:34,520 Speaker 1: and if you read about personal finance here and there, 1049 00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:37,120 Speaker 1: you know, just like casually, there's a good chance you 1050 00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:40,480 Speaker 1: already know enough, right you if you've listened to maybe 1051 00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:42,480 Speaker 1: a few episodes of the show, you know that you 1052 00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:45,080 Speaker 1: have to spend less than you make. You have two 1053 00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:50,200 Speaker 1: basic principles are exactly but beyond that, well, how do 1054 00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:52,560 Speaker 1: I actually put that into practice? Well, it's your behavior 1055 00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:54,479 Speaker 1: and so I don't. I think a lot of times 1056 00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:57,480 Speaker 1: folks can use knowledge or not knowing enough, not knowing 1057 00:46:57,520 --> 00:46:59,440 Speaker 1: all the tips and tricks. Uh, they can use that 1058 00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:01,920 Speaker 1: as a cry shot excuse to not do the right 1059 00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:03,920 Speaker 1: things with their money. But today, what we're saying is 1060 00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:05,840 Speaker 1: that you probably already know enough. And to tie it 1061 00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:07,520 Speaker 1: back to your big takeaway, Jill, maybe what you need 1062 00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:10,359 Speaker 1: to do instead is the dream bigger yeah, man, for sure. 1063 00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:12,400 Speaker 1: And one of the things, Matt, that you and I 1064 00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:14,560 Speaker 1: like to do, one of the small things that we 1065 00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:16,839 Speaker 1: love that we like to keep front and center for 1066 00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:19,279 Speaker 1: us is having good beer. And today on the show, 1067 00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:21,399 Speaker 1: while we were talking with Rachel, you and I were 1068 00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:25,160 Speaker 1: enjoying a beer by Burial Brewing Company out of North Carolina. 1069 00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:29,439 Speaker 1: This one's called the Shattered Remains of Nothing then, so 1070 00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:33,600 Speaker 1: quite the nehilistic title for like a pepped up conversation, 1071 00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:36,799 Speaker 1: right yeah, so, but yeah, this was a delicious beer. Man. 1072 00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:38,960 Speaker 1: What were your thoughts on this one, dude? Like you 1073 00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:40,640 Speaker 1: mentioned this was such a good beer. This was an 1074 00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:44,160 Speaker 1: Imperial stout, uh. And I'll mention too with coconut and 1075 00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:45,759 Speaker 1: you know we poured it. This is a bottle that 1076 00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:48,640 Speaker 1: you were sharing poured real thick. I mean you could 1077 00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:50,359 Speaker 1: tell as you're pouring it that this is a thick 1078 00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:54,560 Speaker 1: bodied beer, Motor Royal style. Yeah, yeah, not grossly thick, 1079 00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:57,279 Speaker 1: but like thick enough to know that you're you're in 1080 00:47:57,320 --> 00:47:59,840 Speaker 1: for a nice, you know, soul warming beer in the 1081 00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:01,800 Speaker 1: little of winter. And the first thing I feel like 1082 00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:03,359 Speaker 1: I noticed when I took a sip is that it 1083 00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:06,920 Speaker 1: was very sweet immediately. And a lot of times what 1084 00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:08,960 Speaker 1: that means is that you kind of don't want to 1085 00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:10,320 Speaker 1: finish the beer, right. You get to the end of 1086 00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:12,040 Speaker 1: it and you're kind of like, man, I'm done with that. 1087 00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:14,080 Speaker 1: But for whatever reason, I mean, this beer has just 1088 00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:16,360 Speaker 1: such great balance, even though it is sweet on the 1089 00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:18,560 Speaker 1: friend end right with maybe some of the additional coconut. 1090 00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:20,560 Speaker 1: The more I drink this beer, the more I want 1091 00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:22,200 Speaker 1: to drink it. You know. It's not one of these 1092 00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:24,600 Speaker 1: beers where I get tired of it, where I feel 1093 00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:27,799 Speaker 1: like my palette is completely fatigued. But yeah, how about you, man, 1094 00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:30,120 Speaker 1: what were thoughts? So the two words I wrote down 1095 00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:33,000 Speaker 1: for this beer, we're thick and sweet. Thick and sweet 1096 00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:35,600 Speaker 1: and sweet. But it wasn't overly sweet like you said, Like, 1097 00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:37,719 Speaker 1: it wasn't Colin Lye sweet. I thought it was going 1098 00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:39,480 Speaker 1: to be like first seth, I was like, oh, no, 1099 00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:41,160 Speaker 1: this is maybe they kind of overdid it. But as 1100 00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:42,000 Speaker 1: we got to the end of it, I was like, 1101 00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:44,439 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, this is still really really good. It was. Yeah, 1102 00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:46,800 Speaker 1: it was delicious. It's still had like some nice roasty 1103 00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:50,080 Speaker 1: tones going on underneath it. And man, beeril just has 1104 00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:52,520 Speaker 1: not made a beer that I don't like yet. And 1105 00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:55,320 Speaker 1: and There's definitely was another great one. It's a perfect 1106 00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:56,719 Speaker 1: kind of beer to kind of curl up next to 1107 00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:59,200 Speaker 1: a fire with, you know what I'm saying good or 1108 00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:01,480 Speaker 1: curl up next to a Rachel Cruz conversation. I don't know, 1109 00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:04,440 Speaker 1: but fireside chat exactly. Yeah, but that's gonna do it 1110 00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:06,719 Speaker 1: for this episode, Matt. And for folks who want show 1111 00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:09,120 Speaker 1: notes for today's episode, a couple of links in particular 1112 00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:11,000 Speaker 1: to Rachel's new book, will have those up on our 1113 00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:13,279 Speaker 1: website at how to Money dot com. That's right, And 1114 00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:15,520 Speaker 1: if you enjoyed this conversation, If you have enjoyed our 1115 00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:17,920 Speaker 1: show How to Money and have found it not only 1116 00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,319 Speaker 1: enjoyable but helpful, we would love for you to leave 1117 00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:22,400 Speaker 1: us a review over to Apple Podcasts that helps us 1118 00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:24,080 Speaker 1: to get the word out so that other folks are 1119 00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:27,040 Speaker 1: also doing smart things with their money. So Joel, that's 1120 00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:29,280 Speaker 1: going to be at Buddy until next time. Best friends, 1121 00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:30,759 Speaker 1: best friends out