WEBVTT - Answering The Tough Questions 0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:15.360 It's I Do Part two and I'm one of your hosts. 0:00:15.440 --> 0:00:18.040 It's Jana Kramer. And most of the time I'm on 0:00:18.120 --> 0:00:21.079 this podcast, I'm talking with celebrities or people that want 0:00:21.079 --> 0:00:24.240 to share their divorce stories. But I'm kind of excited 0:00:24.280 --> 0:00:27.840 because today my guest is none other than my husband, 0:00:27.960 --> 0:00:30.360 Alan Russell. Welcome to the podcast. 0:00:30.720 --> 0:00:31.760 Thank you for having me. 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:34.840 So today we're going to dive into some questions maybe 0:00:34.880 --> 0:00:37.640 we haven't answered before, give our listeners a little more 0:00:37.640 --> 0:00:41.159 insight to who we are as a couple. You know, 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:46.080 we share on my you know, wind down and adult 0:00:46.200 --> 0:00:50.320 education podcast that we do some things about our relationship, 0:00:50.360 --> 0:00:54.480 and I feel like we've opened up about, you know, 0:00:54.560 --> 0:00:58.920 certain things, whether it's parenting or our marriage. 0:00:59.440 --> 0:01:03.440 But we're going to get a little deeper so to give. 0:01:03.400 --> 0:01:08.600 People a little backstory that don't really know our relationship. 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:15.760 Alan is from Alabama. He's got a beautiful Southern accent, 0:01:16.720 --> 0:01:21.680 right then, I do, yeah, yeah, he's he's from Glasgow, Scotland. 0:01:22.520 --> 0:01:26.160 And we have been together all right, beib how many 0:01:26.200 --> 0:01:29.520 years have we been together for? How many long, long, 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:30.760 long years? 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:36.000 Nearly three, Yeah. 0:01:34.600 --> 0:01:39.160 So we've been almost together for three We've been married 0:01:39.280 --> 0:01:43.360 for almost a year or year anniversaries coming up on 0:01:43.440 --> 0:01:47.039 July thirteenth, and we have a nineteen month old baby. 0:01:48.040 --> 0:01:50.760 This is technically our fourth years together because we met 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:55.880 in twenty two three ago, twenty four together and there's 0:01:55.880 --> 0:01:58.960 twenty five, so we're in our fourth, fourth year of 0:01:59.080 --> 0:01:59.720 knowing each other. 0:02:00.640 --> 0:02:01.880 Can you do it like that? 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:03.320 You can do it how you funny? 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:08.600 How you make the numbers work for you, you. 0:02:06.320 --> 0:02:07.960 Know, one way if you want it to work the 0:02:07.960 --> 0:02:11.400 other way. You minus like, oh, we were just you know, 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:14.600 a few short months manpulation. 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:18.040 So when I was. 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:23.760 Single, this basically how we met, because that's one of 0:02:23.800 --> 0:02:25.960 the things that people ask us all the time. So 0:02:26.800 --> 0:02:32.920 when I was when I was single, obviously I got 0:02:32.960 --> 0:02:38.040 a d M from Alan. He slid into my DMS 0:02:38.160 --> 0:02:40.880 very respectfully. 0:02:41.080 --> 0:02:43.560 It's just you always use the world slid. 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:46.880 Well, what would you like to call it? Jump? You 0:02:46.960 --> 0:02:48.160 jumped in you. 0:02:49.240 --> 0:02:52.320 SLID's such like a creepy, horrible way of describe as 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:53.600 I've mentioned manythings. 0:02:53.760 --> 0:02:55.360 Okay, how would you like to describe it? 0:02:55.400 --> 0:02:58.320 Then? Respectfully and politely. 0:02:59.360 --> 0:03:05.800 And entered that sounds that sounds I entered the premises. 0:03:09.000 --> 0:03:12.040 Okay, yeah, I d M you Yeah, yeah. 0:03:12.600 --> 0:03:16.120 And so so that was so that was that. A 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:21.000 few thoughts starters though on this just in general about 0:03:21.280 --> 0:03:26.360 when we started dating. You know, because I have been married, 0:03:26.520 --> 0:03:29.440 so obviously you googled me. I mean you had to, 0:03:29.960 --> 0:03:30.440 that's it. 0:03:30.600 --> 0:03:33.880 I would not, but not like, not like any sort 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:36.000 of I knew you were. I knew you were an 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:39.560 actress in a single, but that was kind of that 0:03:39.720 --> 0:03:42.640 was kind of really I kind of left it that 0:03:43.240 --> 0:03:44.840 you knew I was a mom. You knew more than that, 0:03:45.120 --> 0:03:48.320 I know, mom. Yeah, I didn't. In no way did 0:03:48.360 --> 0:03:54.040 I had a deep dive into your career, your your 0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:55.960 writing career, your singing career, your past. 0:03:56.080 --> 0:03:56.800 Nothing like that. 0:03:57.400 --> 0:03:58.920 I don't know if I have a hard time believing 0:03:58.960 --> 0:04:02.720 that because just I mean, you flew from another country 0:04:02.960 --> 0:04:06.560 to meet me, and that was that's the little research 0:04:06.600 --> 0:04:06.960 you did. 0:04:07.800 --> 0:04:09.760 I'm not saying I did little research, but I didn't 0:04:09.760 --> 0:04:12.640 do a deep dive into because people's people's past as 0:04:12.680 --> 0:04:14.560 the past, isn't it. 0:04:15.400 --> 0:04:18.680 But I think your past tells a lot though about 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:19.800 who that person is. 0:04:22.279 --> 0:04:23.960 It does it? 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:27.719 Does it tells you the experiences they've had? Mm hmm, 0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:31.640 it doesn't. And I always said this to you from 0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:35.360 the very beginning. It tells me what your past was, 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:38.520 but do does not define what your future is. And 0:04:38.560 --> 0:04:42.479 I've always said that to you, right. But I didn't 0:04:42.480 --> 0:04:45.279 have to do a deep dive because I knew that 0:04:46.240 --> 0:04:49.559 you're respected in your industry. You were clearly a really 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:54.719 great mum. So it's not like there was I wasn't 0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:57.919 out there digging and searching for all things. 0:04:58.320 --> 0:04:59.640 I just wanted to get to know you. 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:02.800 I think girls definitely do a more of a deep dive, 0:05:02.800 --> 0:05:04.880 although it was a little harder to deep dive yours 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:08.360 because you had a private Instagram. Things were a little 0:05:08.360 --> 0:05:12.039 bit more tight liped on your side. Yeah, I knew 0:05:12.080 --> 0:05:15.279 you kicked the ball around because you were a professional athlete, 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:19.040 professional soccer player, sorry, football player, and then you were 0:05:19.040 --> 0:05:23.400 coaching when I met you. Yeah, so when you found 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:26.240 out because I mean obviously when then you did on 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:30.240 your search. I mean it's right there on the Google page. 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:34.200 How many times I've been married, like you have to 0:05:34.320 --> 0:05:38.920 have been? Like, uh, I would? I mean I judged 0:05:38.960 --> 0:05:42.560 my past all the time. No I used to, I 0:05:42.560 --> 0:05:48.120 don't anymore, but I mean on paper, it looks being terrible. 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:52.400 Yeah, I'm also it looks terrible but you can tell 0:05:52.480 --> 0:05:57.359 the you made chessy decisions when it wasn't because like 0:05:57.880 --> 0:06:00.680 I think like one of your monitors was like a 0:06:00.720 --> 0:06:04.560 week or somebody even though, yeah, so you can see that, Okay, 0:06:04.760 --> 0:06:08.640 it might like married four times, but when you actually 0:06:08.680 --> 0:06:10.039 look at it, it's like, Okay. 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:10.240 Well. 0:06:11.920 --> 0:06:16.280 One of them was probably a real long term profile 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:19.760 marriage and the rest of them were maybe just decisions 0:06:19.800 --> 0:06:22.000 that weren't wise when you were when you were younger, 0:06:22.040 --> 0:06:23.039 which everyone does. 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:26.240 M So it wasn't a turn off, No. 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:28.960 Not so all I've ever made you feel like it, 0:06:29.160 --> 0:06:30.240 like it was a ton of things. 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:32.080 I told you I would never judge you on your past. 0:06:32.160 --> 0:06:32.839 No, and I love that. 0:06:32.880 --> 0:06:34.680 I mean, I think one of the reasons why I 0:06:35.640 --> 0:06:38.440 it was hard and it was hard for me to 0:06:38.560 --> 0:06:40.840 date post because I'll never forget a date that I 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:43.960 was on when someone brought that up and said, my 0:06:44.080 --> 0:06:45.800 sister doesn't want me to date you because of how 0:06:45.839 --> 0:06:48.760 many times you've been married, and so immediately it was like, oh, 0:06:48.960 --> 0:06:52.680 there's a shame around that, like it's you know, this 0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:55.920 is bad, and no one will then will want to 0:06:56.000 --> 0:06:57.680 date me, And so. 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:02.600 Yeah, I think I think i've And again it goes 0:07:02.640 --> 0:07:04.440 back to things that I've always said to you, right, 0:07:04.640 --> 0:07:08.920 And I've always wanted you feel like I would never 0:07:09.000 --> 0:07:11.400 shame you because you because it's shameful things that I've 0:07:11.400 --> 0:07:14.920 done in my past. And then maybe not it's public 0:07:15.000 --> 0:07:17.200 because as things has maybe happened to you. But I 0:07:17.200 --> 0:07:21.000 would never want to be judged or shamed or that 0:07:21.080 --> 0:07:23.760 to be called out just because I've made prap decisions 0:07:24.920 --> 0:07:29.239 in my past. Everyone makes them. You've made pretty poor 0:07:29.280 --> 0:07:31.520 ones with your marriage either, but I've made pretty poor 0:07:31.560 --> 0:07:36.760 ones when in certain phases of my life through anger 0:07:36.960 --> 0:07:40.800 or or too much to drink or whatever whatever it 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:43.040 may be, that that's at that stage. And I would 0:07:43.120 --> 0:07:45.120 never want you to feel shamed, and I would never 0:07:45.200 --> 0:07:47.600 judge you, which is why I've never done that. I 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:49.640 don't think I've ever once brought up the fact that 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:53.000 you are married four times, even in an argument or. 0:07:53.640 --> 0:07:57.960 No, well, because it's so to me. I mean it's 0:07:58.040 --> 0:08:05.720 kind of I don't say, irrelevant, but it's been dealt with, right, Yeah, 0:08:05.840 --> 0:08:08.680 were you nervous about dating a woman with baggage? 0:08:09.200 --> 0:08:12.600 The fine baggage like everyone befoty years old, bit everyone's 0:08:12.640 --> 0:08:13.400 got baggage. 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:16.360 I mean, I would say with you know, you're right, 0:08:16.400 --> 0:08:18.680 like what I feel like once you once, if you're 0:08:18.800 --> 0:08:22.360 dating in your mid thirties, someone's either most likely been 0:08:22.400 --> 0:08:26.720 married or kids, got kids, or has been through something 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:29.080 in their life that has shaped them, has. 0:08:28.920 --> 0:08:31.320 Abused, has been abused, has. 0:08:31.360 --> 0:08:37.960 Those Yeah, and so I actually don't like the word baggage. 0:08:38.120 --> 0:08:43.480 No poof if you know it sounds like a damaged well. 0:08:43.480 --> 0:08:45.920 Yeah, and that's where I don't like it. It's like 0:08:46.760 --> 0:08:51.360 we've all been through things and it's kind of it's 0:08:51.520 --> 0:08:55.400 very it's a very shaming word to put on someone. 0:08:56.360 --> 0:09:01.400 Yeah, well, what's your baggage? You have kids, baggage, that's life. 0:09:01.480 --> 0:09:04.280 Yeah, that's actually beautiful. You're a mom and you're a father. 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:07.920 Previous is you have previous marriages like either therefore you 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:12.319 learn from them and you become better. I think baggage 0:09:12.480 --> 0:09:16.040 just another world for You've you've lived life a little 0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:17.480 bit and you've experienced life. 0:09:17.800 --> 0:09:20.360 Yeah, I think baggage is such just sounds so negative. 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:33.200 Okay, So I'll get a question for you. With me 0:09:33.400 --> 0:09:37.360 being a professional athlete and then being a professional coach 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:40.760 and being involved in the professional sport world, that gets 0:09:41.600 --> 0:09:45.520 that gets a certain reputation like I remember dating some 0:09:45.720 --> 0:09:48.520 people and they're like, well, my friends have told me 0:09:48.600 --> 0:09:51.319 not today because you've been a professional football and you're 0:09:51.320 --> 0:09:54.480 a professional coach. Because so there's a stigma attacks to 0:09:54.559 --> 0:10:00.920 professional athletes, some justified and some not. Yeah, was that 0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:02.600 the reason? 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:08.440 I don't think you're gonna like my answer. You're actually 0:10:08.480 --> 0:10:09.520 gonna hate my answer. 0:10:11.000 --> 0:10:12.600 Either raise the flag or it doesn't. 0:10:14.080 --> 0:10:18.600 Well, but the answer is is the I've never dated 0:10:18.880 --> 0:10:21.319 a soccer player as an athlete. 0:10:22.600 --> 0:10:25.319 Okay, I've dated all the other ones, but every day 0:10:28.920 --> 0:10:31.560 you so I didn't know about the soccer wor like 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:34.240 I know, like he's. 0:10:34.160 --> 0:10:38.360 A professional athlete. They have, they have reputations, right. 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:44.160 And you know some are some they say are worse 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:44.800 than others. 0:10:44.840 --> 0:10:46.480 Like, but I don't. 0:10:46.520 --> 0:10:48.080 I don't think it comes down to the sports that 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:51.800 they play, even though some people will say otherwise, It 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:54.200 all comes down back to the person. But yeah, of course, 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:57.240 I mean there's the stigma for a reason. There's there's 0:10:57.280 --> 0:11:02.240 the stats for a reason. Looked at the starts, Well 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:06.360 that's just there, like professional athletes cheating, Like there's you know, 0:11:06.400 --> 0:11:08.160 what's the stat and that it's a lot higher than 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:09.840 someone that's a teacher. 0:11:10.000 --> 0:11:13.840 Yeah, of course, So yeah, okay. 0:11:13.679 --> 0:11:14.160 You weren't. 0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:17.480 I think what was helpful is that you weren't an 0:11:17.520 --> 0:11:20.320 active player at the time. I think if you were 0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:26.360 a player still, it would have maybe swayed my flag 0:11:27.960 --> 0:11:31.480 to being more cautious. I think since you're out of 0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:36.560 that world, in that arena, then it didn't make me 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:44.480 feel as nervous about it. But you know the coaching aspect, 0:11:44.600 --> 0:11:47.640 there are you know, players in that too. 0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:50.520 Yeah. Absolutely, yeah. 0:11:50.559 --> 0:11:53.440 So again I think it just goes back to and 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:55.840 you could say the same thing about actresses, right, you know, 0:11:56.040 --> 0:12:01.000 with being with people and actresses and dating co stars. 0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:04.880 I mean it's that's possibly a flag somewhere thrown around 0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:06.160 in there too, But I think it just goes back 0:12:06.200 --> 0:12:09.800 to the person. I think there are some incredible, I know, 0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:13.640 some very incredible athletes that you know, are married, that 0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:16.080 are good men, that are you know, good Christian men, 0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:19.960 that are family men. So it's like it's not fair 0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:22.679 to put that stigma on every athlete that they're going 0:12:22.720 --> 0:12:25.760 to cheat for I agree, So no, I don't think 0:12:26.760 --> 0:12:28.480 I think it helped that you weren't playing though. 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:36.240 Yeah, okay when we first met, yep, were you thinking 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:39.600 marriage or was it or was it that? 0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:40.040 Even? 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:46.480 I mean for for me, I I'm not. I've never 0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:48.920 been one to like to date to just date. So 0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:51.000 it's like, all right, if I want to date it 0:12:51.480 --> 0:12:54.600 and then see if there's am I gonna What is 0:12:54.640 --> 0:12:58.160 the point of of just dating to date? I mean, 0:12:58.160 --> 0:13:00.240 actually see the point? And I did for a minute there, 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:01.439 just to see what I wanted, because I was like, 0:13:01.440 --> 0:13:03.360 I don't even know what I like because I'm always 0:13:03.360 --> 0:13:08.640 constantly asking other people do you think they're cool? Do 0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:10.720 you think they're cute? Do you think they're this? And 0:13:10.720 --> 0:13:14.600 I'm like I never and then I would maybe start 0:13:14.679 --> 0:13:16.559 stay dating with the person because I'm like, oh, well, 0:13:16.600 --> 0:13:19.520 they think he's cute or they think he's X, Y 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:22.320 and Z. Like I never went with my own opinion 0:13:22.400 --> 0:13:26.920 or gut with things. So with us at that stage 0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:29.360 in my life, especially having you know, the two kids 0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:33.760 and stuff, I was always like, yeah, I want you know, 0:13:33.800 --> 0:13:37.240 I wanted to get married again. I know it sounds crazy, 0:13:37.440 --> 0:13:41.040 but I am the like hopeless romantic with I got 0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:46.040 it wrong one two couple times, and I still believe 0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:49.680 that my the right one was out there. And I 0:13:49.720 --> 0:13:53.000 know you were too, because when we had our first 0:13:53.040 --> 0:13:57.280 few dates, which, by the way, this could this could 0:13:57.320 --> 0:14:01.640 look a little love bomby, but it wasn't because I 0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:03.920 think we're on the same page. But like you sent 0:14:04.000 --> 0:14:08.960 me when you were flying back to England, you sent 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:13.800 a picture of a ring. But like anybody else, I'd 0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:16.600 be like, oh girl, they are love bombing you run. 0:14:17.720 --> 0:14:22.080 Yeah, but it was like we just knew, yeah, absolutely. 0:14:22.120 --> 0:14:24.160 But yeah, anybody else i'd be like, that is a 0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:25.240 massive red flag. 0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:29.000 And that when it was evident to me, I. 0:14:29.000 --> 0:14:31.400 Think, and I think that's one of the things. 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:35.360 Have been married before and being through the dacing side 0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:37.960 of it and being through these experiences. Now we're in 0:14:38.040 --> 0:14:41.560 my foot as you know you don't want and you 0:14:41.600 --> 0:14:44.640 know what you want. Yeah, so therefore your decision making 0:14:44.680 --> 0:14:47.880 becomes a lot clearer, a lot easier. I say, it's 0:14:47.920 --> 0:14:51.080 always right, but you know what you want. And then 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:56.200 that comes along then like I knew straight away that 0:14:56.280 --> 0:14:57.400 we'd get married. 0:14:57.560 --> 0:14:59.840 When we had sex, Who did you tell? 0:15:01.080 --> 0:15:01.160 Hm? 0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:02.760 Who did you. 0:15:02.640 --> 0:15:03.840 Call my brother? 0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:04.840 Oh? 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:11.120 Well I didn't call him and say, oh, we had sex. 0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:14.840 We spoke the next day and he asked about what 0:15:14.960 --> 0:15:17.160 had been how things had been gone. 0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:20.360 Yeah, So what you mean then what you said? 0:15:22.000 --> 0:15:23.960 What if city on my I phone phoned my mom, 0:15:24.000 --> 0:15:24.640 I phone my dad? 0:15:24.640 --> 0:15:26.400 Well that's even grosser. But I'm just like, like, not 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:27.680 a friend. You didn't phone a friend? 0:15:28.200 --> 0:15:28.360 Oh? 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:30.400 Yes, usable like my best friend. 0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:34.240 That's true. Did you tell me? How down? Alan? 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:43.120 It's not like like my brother is like I speak 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:47.040 to him mostly like he's my uh huh okay? 0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:50.640 And but who did you tell my best friends? Almost 0:15:50.640 --> 0:15:52.920 the difference, it's just way different? 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:56.680 Is your best friends friends? 0:15:57.800 --> 0:15:58.000 Yes? 0:15:58.080 --> 0:16:01.560 Queendom. What did you say though with your brother? Because 0:16:01.560 --> 0:16:02.920 it was cute? I mean I know what you said, 0:16:02.960 --> 0:16:04.080 but you know what I said? 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:04.520 Yeah? 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:06.560 What did I say? 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:09.320 You say like I'm screwed or something? 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:09.800 Yeah? 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:10.480 Yeah? 0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:11.160 Yeah. 0:16:11.200 --> 0:16:14.680 Basically for people who are dating long distance in their 0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:18.360 chapter two or three like we did, how do you 0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:20.600 suggest people keep it spicy when they're far apart? 0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:24.280 We spens for that long. 0:16:25.200 --> 0:16:29.560 October November December January February, five months long distance. 0:16:29.600 --> 0:16:32.480 But we weren't like that. We've seen each other sexy 0:16:32.560 --> 0:16:33.120 kind of person. 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:37.880 No, it's quite cheap, but I mean there's times we've 0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:44.080 done it. Have we that sex? No? I think the 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:44.920 forre sex. 0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:46.920 I don't have we were done. 0:16:46.800 --> 0:16:51.920 That things will have been kind of played with that 0:16:51.960 --> 0:16:52.600 a little bit. 0:16:52.840 --> 0:16:54.440 But like no situation. 0:16:56.400 --> 0:16:58.480 Right, but with never no. 0:17:00.960 --> 0:17:04.000 I think the spiciest thing is just communicating how old 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:07.879 do I sound? But like sending cute picks and a 0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:10.360 little flirty picks. I think that keeps it spicy. 0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:13.280 Yeah, And I think it's also good to be honest 0:17:13.280 --> 0:17:18.280 and how much that you mess someone like yeah, like 0:17:18.480 --> 0:17:21.280 I was craving you when you were in there, I was, 0:17:21.320 --> 0:17:23.080 I really missed you, so it was important that I 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:23.600 told you that. 0:17:25.240 --> 0:17:28.880 What did family members anything they say after we met 0:17:28.920 --> 0:17:29.760 them for the first time. 0:17:31.000 --> 0:17:34.600 My mom loved you, my dad loved you, my brother 0:17:35.400 --> 0:17:39.080 loved you, my son loved you. 0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:41.720 So that was there was zero negativity. 0:17:42.560 --> 0:17:45.440 My family just couldn't understand you. But I loved you 0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:50.040 when you and I met. 0:17:50.040 --> 0:17:52.000 I already had a podcast where I talk about, you know, 0:17:52.040 --> 0:17:54.560 my relationship history. Part of you know, being in my 0:17:54.600 --> 0:17:57.280 life is also about sharing that aspect and being open. 0:17:57.840 --> 0:17:59.600 You know, what did you think about that early on? 0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:01.119 And then do you think about that today? 0:18:01.720 --> 0:18:02.480 Very good question. 0:18:03.760 --> 0:18:06.560 It wasn't something that I'm used to, like being a 0:18:06.560 --> 0:18:09.440 professional coach, I'm used to keeping things as private as 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:12.800 possible because it normally will come back and bite you 0:18:12.840 --> 0:18:17.119 in the ass in the professional world. So I remember 0:18:17.160 --> 0:18:18.639 the first time we went on the I went on 0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:23.600 the podcast and the producer I think kind of prodide 0:18:23.640 --> 0:18:27.120 a little bit, remember, and I didn't like it. 0:18:28.200 --> 0:18:30.280 So, yeah, I found that it was way out. 0:18:30.200 --> 0:18:34.880 Of my my remit and what I normally. 0:18:36.440 --> 0:18:38.800 Do on a daily basis of how I apply myself. 0:18:39.359 --> 0:18:41.160 So I found it. I found it quite tough. 0:18:41.520 --> 0:18:47.040 But I've grown I know there's listen, there's a business aspect, 0:18:47.080 --> 0:18:50.359 there's there's so many different aspects to it that it 0:18:50.400 --> 0:18:52.359 has a lot of intelligence, and there's a lot of 0:18:52.440 --> 0:18:57.119 reasons why it's good to be less private on things. 0:18:57.680 --> 0:19:02.399 So I think I've grown to I've grown to almost 0:19:02.480 --> 0:19:05.600 normalize it over the last two and a half years, 0:19:05.640 --> 0:19:09.200 three years and see the benefits. It will not always 0:19:09.200 --> 0:19:13.240 be beneficial. It will have its downfalls, it's at some points, 0:19:13.800 --> 0:19:17.280 But early on it was it was tough because I'm like, 0:19:17.280 --> 0:19:18.880 like you would ask things, I'm like, I don't want 0:19:18.880 --> 0:19:22.200 to talk about that. I don't feel that's right speak 0:19:22.200 --> 0:19:26.080 about that. That doesn't sit well with me, or and 0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:28.920 you could probably see it in my face whereas I'm 0:19:28.920 --> 0:19:32.120 probably still a little bit like that because my default 0:19:32.240 --> 0:19:35.879 was always to go private. But I think I've become 0:19:35.920 --> 0:19:40.399 better at opening up and seeing because a lot of 0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:43.200 the stuff that you do that is private stuff helps people. 0:19:43.840 --> 0:19:45.600 I'm not saying anything that comes out of my mouth 0:19:45.760 --> 0:19:50.520 is going to help anyone on that level, but yeah, 0:19:50.520 --> 0:19:54.880 I've got better at recognizing that those benefits to sharing 0:19:54.920 --> 0:19:57.480 your experiences and not keeping them locked up. 0:19:57.800 --> 0:19:58.000 Yeah. 0:19:58.080 --> 0:20:00.800 I mean, I think there was a part in our 0:20:00.840 --> 0:20:03.800 relationship early on where I would post something or say 0:20:03.800 --> 0:20:06.000 something and you'd be like, why did you say that? Yeah, 0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:08.359 And it wouldn't have even been about us. It was 0:20:08.359 --> 0:20:11.560 like my my past or my past relationships, Like why 0:20:11.560 --> 0:20:12.159 did you say that? 0:20:12.160 --> 0:20:12.320 Why? 0:20:12.359 --> 0:20:14.439 I was like, because it's this is my life, Like 0:20:14.520 --> 0:20:16.840 I I want to help other people. I want to 0:20:16.840 --> 0:20:20.440 share these things in hopes and efforts to help other 0:20:20.480 --> 0:20:24.320 people if they're going through a parenting or cheating or 0:20:24.600 --> 0:20:28.399 trauma or DV or any any of those aspects. And 0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:30.639 I think that was and I was like, please, like, 0:20:31.080 --> 0:20:34.719 don't make me feel like what I'm sharing is or 0:20:34.720 --> 0:20:36.200 that I that I need to like stop that, because 0:20:36.240 --> 0:20:37.480 I was like that that was the piece for me. 0:20:37.480 --> 0:20:40.040 I was like, this is this is my life too, 0:20:40.040 --> 0:20:42.879 and this is how I've chosen to live it. I 0:20:42.920 --> 0:20:44.399 think I went through this to them be able to 0:20:44.440 --> 0:20:46.920 share it and help people, right, And I think you've 0:20:46.920 --> 0:20:50.040 definitely gotten better with You've never you haven't said that 0:20:50.080 --> 0:20:52.159 to me in a long time about anything that I'm 0:20:52.160 --> 0:20:57.200 most say yeah, yeah, And then I know our boundaries 0:20:57.240 --> 0:20:59.919 of what we share, like on our adult education podcast, 0:21:00.119 --> 0:21:04.080 and you know all that, so I know, and it's 0:21:04.280 --> 0:21:09.120 it's important not to and it's important to respect your 0:21:09.200 --> 0:21:12.159 boundaries around it too and meet in the middle and 0:21:12.200 --> 0:21:13.920 be like, all right, I got to Instagram. This is 0:21:13.960 --> 0:21:19.600 a part of this world that I've created that I 0:21:19.640 --> 0:21:23.800 you know, I do enjoy showing my family in you 0:21:24.040 --> 0:21:26.679 and I mean people were obsessed with the stuff with 0:21:26.800 --> 0:21:29.159 you and Jolie the other day and seeing y'all's relationship, 0:21:29.280 --> 0:21:32.000 and you know, I think that's important to weave in. 0:21:32.080 --> 0:21:34.200 Like who wants to watch someone's page that's just ad 0:21:34.200 --> 0:21:36.560 ad ad ad ad. It's like no one would come 0:21:36.560 --> 0:21:39.040 to the page. It's like you have to you have 0:21:39.119 --> 0:21:42.760 to bring people in share life with them to then 0:21:43.000 --> 0:21:44.760 you know, you can't just be selling stuff. 0:21:44.760 --> 0:21:45.280 Twenty four to. 0:21:45.240 --> 0:21:47.000 Seven Absolutely not, you know. 0:21:47.320 --> 0:21:52.000 Yeah, So I'm glad you came full circle on that one. Wait, 0:21:52.040 --> 0:21:55.600 I have so many questions that we still need to 0:21:55.600 --> 0:21:57.600 to get through, and then I kind of want to know. 0:21:57.760 --> 0:21:59.920