Speaker 1: The nick A Gliser Podcast.
Speaker 2: Niki Glaser pos Nikki. Hello here, I am welcome to
Speaker 2: the show. It's Nicky Glazer Podcast. Man, I sound a
Speaker 2: little loud, but I kind of like it. Maybe they'll
Speaker 2: make me talks softer.
Speaker 3: You think it'll balance balance out low Mike, Brian, Yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Mean Brian Franjie's coming back from his honeymoon with a
Speaker 2: little mic. But he's getting on the right supplements and
Speaker 2: we're all going to support him emotionally and he's got
Speaker 2: doctors monitoring it.
Speaker 4: Brian Franjie's back.
Speaker 5: Everyone. Oh, man, I missed the pod, and you know what,
Speaker 5: I listened to three out of four of the episode
Speaker 5: so far that I was not on. And I have
Speaker 5: so many comments, so many moments where it's like I
Speaker 5: want to say something here and I can't say anything.
Speaker 2: I know, And isn't that a because you used to
Speaker 2: listen as a listener and you couldn't say anything and
Speaker 2: that was just your lock life.
Speaker 1: But now you you have an.
Speaker 2: Entitlement now that is warranted because you're a part of
Speaker 2: the show.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you had to have the user experience.
Speaker 5: Yes, that's awful. I feel bad for all the listeners
Speaker 5: out there who can't contantly chime in.
Speaker 2: I feel that way. Often I listen to Chris's show.
Speaker 2: If I wake up early enough, I listen to it live.
Speaker 2: It's from six to ten or if I usually listen
Speaker 2: to it on the podcast and at like two times
Speaker 2: the speed. But when I get to hear it live,
Speaker 2: it's so awesome because he'll get like there'll something will
Speaker 2: be of debate in the room of like how old
Speaker 2: is she? Or like did she actually Usually it's something
Speaker 2: where they're like, or we'll bring.
Speaker 5: Up a guy.
Speaker 3: We'll be like, oh, yeah, I think this guy is
Speaker 3: a really good guy and rape.
Speaker 4: Seven women in nineteen eighty one.
Speaker 3: Go look at them, just like, do your own research.
Speaker 2: I really do. Every time there's like I'm like, he
Speaker 2: once kicked a dog in nineteen ninety something.
Speaker 3: Well, for Brimley, I think is pretty clean. He's a
Speaker 3: great person.
Speaker 2: Problematic diabetes, PROBLEMATICUS. No, he seems like a good guy.
Speaker 2: But okay, so we have so much to get to today.
Speaker 2: Let me just set up the room. Okay, Brian Franngie
Speaker 2: is back. Or you're in California. It looks like you're
Speaker 2: home right, all right, I'm in California.
Speaker 4: Yeah, back home, all right?
Speaker 2: And then okay, yeah it's.
Speaker 4: And then Anya is in New York.
Speaker 2: What Anya's has her parents in New York with her
Speaker 2: right now? If we want to set the scene, they
Speaker 2: were staying with her all the week all the weekend.
Speaker 4: This is all the weekend.
Speaker 1: This is one of seven pills I've found. This is
Speaker 1: what happens when eighty year olds stay with you. There's
Speaker 1: just stray medication everywhere, Like a.
Speaker 3: Weekend with Nikki. I'm like, what is this?
Speaker 2: I don't so many because I don't I will never
Speaker 2: take a pill and just be like, well, I wonder
Speaker 2: what's this experience going to be?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 2: There are a lot that I don't know. And then
Speaker 2: I just, you know, throw them into a creek.
Speaker 1: One side you grow dollar and the other side will
Speaker 1: make you grow smaller. Do you know that movie Beauty?
Speaker 1: This is.
Speaker 2: Seventies.
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, you know how you're supposed to dispose of
Speaker 5: pills because if you put them in the toilet or something,
Speaker 5: they're bad for the environment.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's what was my joke about putting in I.
Speaker 2: Don't know how I forgot remember, Well there's one I know, Courtney,
Speaker 2: This corny show doesn't add for a place called what's
Speaker 2: it called.
Speaker 4: I hate the name of it so much.
Speaker 2: It's rough prevent prevented.
Speaker 3: Prevented, prevented. Oh yeah, and we're like, what.
Speaker 5: Did ed do?
Speaker 2: Like I as time and I was like, Corney, I
Speaker 2: think it's supposed to be prevented dot com, but they
Speaker 2: like did it wrong? But then I looked it up
Speaker 2: and I was like, well, I didn't say that because
Speaker 2: it literally is prevent ed dot com and you can
Speaker 2: send in your medication and they mix it or they
Speaker 2: send you a mixture to put in with your medication
Speaker 2: that makes it neutralized.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, and then you can dump it. I thought
Speaker 4: it was prevent a rectile dysfunction.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 2: I think that's what a lot of people are. They're
Speaker 2: swallowing that goo they said them, and then.
Speaker 3: Get hard.
Speaker 4: That's a good point.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, my dad almost killed Matt over the weekend.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 1: This is another thing eighty year olds do is they
Speaker 1: don't they don't look at what is in front of them.
Speaker 1: They're just haphazard, or at least it's just my dad.
Speaker 1: So I had a bowl of cherries.
Speaker 5: All starts with cherries.
Speaker 2: It does. Then there's like a crime scene exhibit, a
Speaker 2: kind of thing, something that only happened one hundred years ago,
Speaker 2: when people were like, life is but a bowl of cherries.
Speaker 3: Nobody's got a bowl of cherries anymore. That was an
Speaker 3: old time say what is a bowl? When did you
Speaker 3: get cherries?
Speaker 1: And why do you have They had the I guess
Speaker 1: it's like cherries.
Speaker 4: Your mom brings like vegetables and fruit.
Speaker 6: It is.
Speaker 1: The wildest thing at the store. They have them there.
Speaker 4: It's you said, you're you.
Speaker 2: It was the season, so your mom picked them from
Speaker 2: a tree in her Your mom brought me a bag
Speaker 2: of lemons one time to like a show that she
Speaker 2: came to visit.
Speaker 4: See, yeah, I'm like that.
Speaker 1: We're in San Francisco. Nikki lives in Missouri. She's flying
Speaker 1: home tomorrow. She's like, but I have this from my
Speaker 1: tree for Nikki.
Speaker 4: It was really sweet. But that's why I thought she
Speaker 4: brought the other cherries.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, she just likes fruit, so I brought her
Speaker 1: some fruit. I'm trying to get her acclimated here in
Speaker 1: Hudson Valley anyway. I have a large glass bowl of cherries,
Speaker 1: and then I have two small bowls that are white
Speaker 1: and ceramic one has trail mix in it. It's like
Speaker 1: medium size, and then there's a tiny white bowl for
Speaker 1: cherry pip pits because if dogs eat cherry.
Speaker 2: Shitty part of the trail mix like the peanut exactly.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, whatever part you don't like, getting.
Speaker 1: Nikki, what does a peanut look like a cherry pit? Right?
Speaker 1: So my dad's just willy nilly eating all the cherries
Speaker 1: and cherry pits are toxic to dogs, by the way,
Speaker 1: and people, which I didn't know. Also, apple seeds, Brian.
Speaker 5: Apple seeds contain a small amount of arsenic in them,
Speaker 5: so if you eat too many apple seeds you will
Speaker 5: get arsenic poisoning. It's it's a cheese.
Speaker 1: I ate apples like whole for like a season. I
Speaker 1: remember just thinking like I'm just gonna eat the whole
Speaker 1: apple and be cool. Never bought, never had an issue,
Speaker 1: but I did. I've eaten many apples entirely ate the
Speaker 1: whole Why. I don't know. I could just got into
Speaker 1: it once and was like, why are we throwing this
Speaker 1: part away? It's like kind of probably.
Speaker 4: Like really gross stuff up in it. It has like
Speaker 4: spider webs, and.
Speaker 3: I don't know if this is allowed either like for
Speaker 3: my cousin, I don't know whether he was tricking me.
Speaker 3: When I was young, he started like eating peanuts with
Speaker 3: the shell and he was like, hey, you can just
Speaker 3: eat the whole, and so I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'll do that too, and then I was doing that
Speaker 3: for a while, and then at one point I was like,
Speaker 3: did he just do this twice to trick me into
Speaker 3: doing this for the rest of.
Speaker 4: Those lies you see only the peanuts shell?
Speaker 6: What?
Speaker 2: Yeah, even as a kid, it wasn't like I was
Speaker 2: like trying to avoid calories, even though it was calorie conscious.
Speaker 4: As a kid, I would say.
Speaker 2: Throw out the I was I was sick because it's
Speaker 2: salty on the outside and you like almost choke to
Speaker 2: death every single time, and it's like you're living, You're
Speaker 2: just this is.
Speaker 3: My going out submarine.
Speaker 2: And yeah, I was like getting kind of horny about it.
Speaker 2: You went there, Chris, You you gave me the man.
Speaker 4: I was not even headed in that direction, and you.
Speaker 2: Go, hey, you know, a nice trail to take would
Speaker 2: be this one and in that direction.
Speaker 3: And then I get then, okay, all right, you're going
Speaker 3: to give it back to me on this podcast. There
Speaker 3: will be I.
Speaker 4: Will get you.
Speaker 2: I will, I will take you somewhere where you'll go
Speaker 2: and you'll want it taken out, but we're gonna leave it,
Speaker 2: all right.
Speaker 1: So okay, So that trail brings us back to trail mix,
Speaker 1: which my dad is eating by the fistful and also
Speaker 1: doing the cherries double dose. Of course, at one point
Speaker 1: he just throws a cherry pit into the trail mix,
Speaker 1: which nobody knows about until Matt takes a handful of
Speaker 1: trail mix. And then I see him go and he's
Speaker 1: like choking and he's like, oh, my tooth, and then
Speaker 1: he's like spits something out and then he rushes to
Speaker 1: the bathroom and I'm like, I already know what this is.
Speaker 1: And then he comes out and he looks furious. So
Speaker 1: Matt has broken open a cherry pit thinking it's a
Speaker 1: peanut and swallowed it. No, no, by the way, disgusting, Yes,
Speaker 1: So he looks like grossed out.
Speaker 2: I'm just played And I wondered if Noah played it?
Speaker 2: What the did I that was weird, like it, but
Speaker 2: it was perfectly on time. What if my brain is
Speaker 2: putting those sounds in it's so weird? Did anyone else
Speaker 2: who's listening to the podcast, hear it, because.
Speaker 1: This is how people here goes like. Sometimes I'll hear
Speaker 1: like yeah, and I know it didn't happen in real life,
Speaker 1: but I'll hear don't do that, But I'll hear like voices.
Speaker 2: No, that's good, that's really good because that's your inner voice.
Speaker 2: Because I all these books I'm reading, you were hearing
Speaker 2: like voices. If you listen, if you're really plugged in
Speaker 2: with your body and you're like mind, your subconscious is
Speaker 2: telling you ship all the time. So you're plugged into
Speaker 2: that inner voice. Whereas my inner voice is me. So
Speaker 2: I would never hear if I go like, ew, that
Speaker 2: shirt's ugly, I would never think it was someone else.
Speaker 2: It's like Dave Matthew said on stage that blew my mind.
Speaker 2: He was like, I read somewhere.
Speaker 4: The his guitar way up, he goes you know what.
Speaker 2: Sometimes no, But when he said that, he goes someone
Speaker 2: he's he had like a revelation and he shared it
Speaker 2: with us, and I already said this, but it bears
Speaker 2: repeating that. Uh. The he was like, someone told me
Speaker 2: that the voices in my head, I'm just an audience
Speaker 2: for them. They're not me, Like I'm just listening to them,
Speaker 2: they're not me and that, like he separated and then
Speaker 2: he started going into and he was like going into
Speaker 2: some of the voices and they were like, you're not
Speaker 2: as talented as you think you are. Everyone doesn't like you.
Speaker 2: Like it was all the voices that I have, And
Speaker 2: I was like, you're fucking Dave Matthew with like, who
Speaker 2: is one of the biggest grossing artists of not the grossest.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean, he went through a.
Speaker 4: Couple of years, but he's back. He is.
Speaker 5: All right.
Speaker 3: Rob Thomas v Dave Matthews right.
Speaker 4: Now, Okay, Dave Matthews.
Speaker 2: Because it's just grained in me as a child, like,
Speaker 2: as literally a seventeen year old. I guess we could
Speaker 2: count that as a child to be like attracted him.
Speaker 2: But Rob Thomas is more like your friend that you
Speaker 2: like are like you acknowledge he's cute, but he's like
Speaker 2: he's just the Rob Thomas.
Speaker 4: I can't get over it. He's the best person. I wish.
Speaker 4: I can't wait for you to meet him.
Speaker 2: I looked at his tour schedule so we could go
Speaker 2: hang out with him, because he's gonna love you. You
Speaker 2: guys are gonna be best buds, it's gonna be wild.
Speaker 2: We're gonna go, We're gonna go like on tour with him.
Speaker 4: I'm obsessed.
Speaker 3: Every story I've heard about him has been great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, from other people, because she's stalked him like four
Speaker 2: times over the years working in radio, and he's always
Speaker 2: been kind, he's always been hilarious. She had like specific
Speaker 2: stories to tell about him, and like, you just can't
Speaker 2: find a bad story about old Rtie, And.
Speaker 1: I think he's a monster.
Speaker 3: Oh god, the show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I text you on him, like, actually, you keep
Speaker 2: your mouth fucking got about that.
Speaker 1: I can't believe Artie got friend zoned so fast, My
Speaker 1: good old Glad.
Speaker 3: Don't know what happened.
Speaker 2: He doesn't want any of this, and I don't want
Speaker 2: our relationship. I'm not gonna be friends with Dave Matthews.
Speaker 2: So I could say, like, oh, he's so hot or whatever,
Speaker 2: But if I want to be friends with someone, I'm
Speaker 2: also not going to sexualize them either, and I would
Speaker 2: not want him to do that to me.
Speaker 3: You've got boundaries. You and Taylor both commented, and he
Speaker 3: was a good looking guy.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm commenting on he looks exactly the same as
Speaker 2: he did in the nineties and that that.
Speaker 4: But he is a good looking guy. There's no but
Speaker 4: it's not I'm.
Speaker 2: Not like, let's get back, let's get back to being
Speaker 2: furious to say he didn't almost kill Matt. Matt just
Speaker 2: almost broke a tooth, which is terrible. But you don't
Speaker 2: you the cherry seat is never going to choke you
Speaker 2: to death.
Speaker 1: It's not that I was shocked to learn, like, cherry
Speaker 1: pits have our cyan I in them. If chewed, you
Speaker 1: could like release some cyanide, and and there's conflicting reports.
Speaker 1: I immediately was like, maybe.
Speaker 4: You're going to be hind them all over the place.
Speaker 2: I know instantly if kids could get their hands on them,
Speaker 2: we would kids would be dying back.
Speaker 1: Seven chew it. If you open the pit, it does
Speaker 1: it's much worse than just swallowing it whole, because there's
Speaker 1: cyanide in there. And Matt evidently did that. I was like,
Speaker 1: you're going to be fine, and he was. I think
Speaker 1: he was just like, I've fucking had it. At this point.
Speaker 1: It had been a long weekend. Let's just say, and
Speaker 1: you know, sucking on somebody else's cherry pit, there's.
Speaker 3: No disgusting cherry pits okay, I.
Speaker 5: Have some information, so they do have they have cyanide
Speaker 5: in them. Hardstone in the center of cherries is full
Speaker 5: of prussic acid, also known as cyanide, which is poisonous.
Speaker 5: But don't freak out because if you accidentally swallow one,
Speaker 5: it'll just pass through your system. But if you do
Speaker 5: what Matt did and you crunched down on it, eating
Speaker 5: just three eat a four pits of the Morello cherry
Speaker 5: or seven pits of red or black cherries will lead
Speaker 5: to cyanide toxicity.
Speaker 2: And doesn't mean or death.
Speaker 1: No, a guy died, a man died, A grown man
Speaker 1: died after eating three cherry pits, which, of course Matt
Speaker 1: finds that article. I'm like, let's put the Internet away
Speaker 1: and just like, sit.
Speaker 2: Did he eat it?
Speaker 6: Though?
Speaker 2: He spit it out?
Speaker 1: Though? Right?
Speaker 5: He ate it?
Speaker 1: He like, He's like, I think I swallowed half of
Speaker 1: it and half of it I spit out. I'm not sure.
Speaker 1: I think at that point he is just done and
Speaker 1: I had to leave him alone.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be like one of these wives someday that
Speaker 2: like once you you okay, so you know how the
Speaker 2: wives kill their husbands and they like, here's this tea. Honey,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be like, it's a new cherry pit tea
Speaker 2: I found. We'll see cherry pit tea.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I'm gonna be like, here's.
Speaker 4: I think I've heard about this before.
Speaker 2: I'm like, we did a pans about it. You fucking
Speaker 2: dumb fuck.
Speaker 3: That's what you said the last time I was on,
Speaker 3: you were like, how dumb is this guy for marrying
Speaker 3: a girl that wants to kill him?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're gonna be that, but you're gonna be senile.
Speaker 2: It's not your fault, Okay, Like you're smart now and
Speaker 2: you don't And I'm fucking crazy right now. I would
Speaker 2: never kill you. But no one knows what's going to
Speaker 2: happen in thirty to four.
Speaker 3: We don't know what voices are in your head or
Speaker 3: what sound effects are going to.
Speaker 5: Lead you to kill all of a sudden.
Speaker 3: That's gonna be a.
Speaker 2: It's jaws.
Speaker 3: And while she's waiting for me to die, what's the
Speaker 3: sound effect while she's waiting for me to die?
Speaker 4: That's great?
Speaker 3: Love your your it's so crazy.
Speaker 2: We can try. Your mom can do the whistle? Oh
Speaker 2: her whistles whistle?
Speaker 4: Can anyone do that?
Speaker 2: One don't do it.
Speaker 1: I wanted to do that.
Speaker 2: It is you can you kind of do it? Chris?
Speaker 3: It sounds terrib I mean.
Speaker 2: Kill yourself with two guns like you're doing Like that
Speaker 2: was a horrible conversation. How do you do the trick
Speaker 2: to doing act?
Speaker 1: You fold your tongue right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you fold your tongue back. I mean yeah, you
Speaker 3: fold your tongue back. My mom could do it with
Speaker 3: like one hand, one hand. I have to do it
Speaker 3: with two.
Speaker 2: Badass?
Speaker 1: What is the cool part of your badass? I remember
Speaker 1: seeing kids do this that's flip. Yeah, And when I
Speaker 1: was a child, I was like that was so cool,
Speaker 1: just this like the shape of it where the fingers
Speaker 1: were done. I'm just showing you something that is almost
Speaker 1: as cool as a one handed whistle. But when I
Speaker 1: was a kid, I would have to like hold my
Speaker 1: fingers down. Look how lame this?
Speaker 2: I get it, Like when you're a kid in your hand.
Speaker 2: I saw a kid the other day that was so
Speaker 2: cy was like a baby and you just learned how
Speaker 2: to do thumbs up and he had done something. They
Speaker 2: were like yay, and he like looked at his hands
Speaker 2: and he was just really focused and he was just
Speaker 2: like slowly his thumbs went up and he was like.
Speaker 4: Yeah, every figure. It's almost like, yeah, it was so
Speaker 4: cute when I learned the bird.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we were skydiving, me and my sister. I think
Speaker 3: I gave it to her for her.
Speaker 2: Eighteenth birthday skydove, Yeah, with my sister.
Speaker 3: And on the way down she I think she tried.
Speaker 3: She's not this kind of person like she doesn't do like,
Speaker 3: but I think on the way down she tried to
Speaker 3: flip me off as like just to be funny with me,
Speaker 3: but instead she she held up all the fingers except
Speaker 3: for her middle finger.
Speaker 5: Doesn't do it just like.
Speaker 1: That is so hard.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's hard to do.
Speaker 5: She did it.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 2: I get so nervous whenever people to post her pictures
Speaker 2: and they're like.
Speaker 4: Let's do the heavy metal rock.
Speaker 2: I'm always like, I'm going to do some Nazi symbol
Speaker 2: I know, because I don't know which one is.
Speaker 3: You should do the opposite because like Taylor Swift is
Speaker 3: and then it becomes like the Dane Cook superfinger.
Speaker 4: Oh yes, Swift gives the horns.
Speaker 2: I saw it with my own eyes. What do you
Speaker 2: mean she went like this like this, Oh she does yeah,
Speaker 2: Oh yeah she can.
Speaker 4: I mean she can do everything.
Speaker 2: I don't know why I'm putting that like this simple
Speaker 2: land movement as like God, she's so fucking amazing, and
Speaker 2: she can sing, she can dance, she writes her own music.
Speaker 2: She's a fucking near billionaire, and she can do the
Speaker 2: devil hornto her hand like without thinking.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: As of today, she's number two on the Lady Musician List.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she did it without the use of slave
Speaker 2: labor to make her products like Rihanna did. I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: Rihanna's number one, and it's totally on the backs of
Speaker 2: slave labor making all of her fenty stuff.
Speaker 5: So money like total money earned.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, well Taylor's never Taylor has her merch but
Speaker 2: Taylor's never been We were talking about this in the
Speaker 2: kitchen just before this is a little private action, little
Speaker 2: purview into Chris and ized life. We were talking about this,
Speaker 2: and yeah, Taylor Swift never doesn't take any money to
Speaker 2: perform and Dubai. She's never done a private party ever.
Speaker 2: She doesn't do any like I'm not gonna say ever,
Speaker 2: but she doesn't do any private events where they pay
Speaker 2: them millions of dollars. So this bitch is about to
Speaker 2: make a billion dollars with just her music and her merchandise,
Speaker 2: which needs some help.
Speaker 3: Time ago.
Speaker 2: If true, I mean, yeah, but we'll still buy it. Okay,
Speaker 2: we gotta go to break. We have a lot to
Speaker 2: talk about. Brian's marriage. Noah went to Taylor Swift this weekend.
Speaker 2: We did I don't know what my dad performed with
Speaker 2: me in California, and Anya had her parents in town.
Speaker 2: So we'll talk about all of that and more and
Speaker 2: maybe not even all.
Speaker 4: Of it, mostly not all of it. We got too
Speaker 4: much to get to, so we'll be back right after this.
Speaker 4: All right, we're back.
Speaker 2: Let's start off with Frangie's wedding, because we've talked about
Speaker 2: it a little bit. What a time I'm I'm almost
Speaker 2: wanting to start with Noah because what no experienced this
Speaker 2: weekend is almost the same as like a marriage, because
Speaker 2: is it something you only get to do once or
Speaker 2: eight times in a summer in your life. It was transformational.
Speaker 2: But uh no, let's start with Brian's.
Speaker 3: Which relationship do you think is going to last longer?
Speaker 3: Noah's with Taylor Swift or Brian's with his wife.
Speaker 2: I think they're both going to go the full. I
Speaker 2: think there's no going back for knowing very good. There's
Speaker 2: no like, nothing could happen that will make noe not
Speaker 2: a swiftye.
Speaker 4: Okay, Brian, how are you feeling now?
Speaker 2: Almost? Is it like almost two weeks out of being married?
Speaker 2: What's been like?
Speaker 5: It's been great. I was very I had a lot
Speaker 5: of anxiety leading up to a peak anxiety. I couldn't
Speaker 5: sleep the night before. I didn't sleep for a single
Speaker 5: second the night before. I had to cancel my morning
Speaker 5: brunch that's supposed to have with my boys or whatever.
Speaker 3: That was a good call, though, Yeah, definitely those guys.
Speaker 5: Laid in bed just not sleeping for hours.
Speaker 3: I thought maybe lane and bread was like one of
Speaker 3: those things you researched and like, help somebody anxiety.
Speaker 5: I got a of warm bread and I laid in
Speaker 5: it and it didn't even help.
Speaker 3: And what was the anxiety? If you don't mind me asking?
Speaker 5: Was it?
Speaker 3: Was it like a hundred different things, seeing all the family?
Speaker 3: Was it doing your vows and not.
Speaker 4: Best man's speech?
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Here's what they don't tell you about weddings is that
Speaker 5: everyone puts an incredible amount of pressure on you. Everyone
Speaker 5: puts an incredible amount of pressure on you to have
Speaker 5: the best day of your life, and if you're not
Speaker 5: having the best day of your life, you're a piece
Speaker 5: of shit. You make everybody sec God, you're right, And
Speaker 5: that's why I had anxiety, because I frequently feel like shit.
Speaker 5: I have chronic pain and all these types of problems,
Speaker 5: and I was worried that I was gonna feel like
Speaker 5: shit on my wedding day, and then, on top of that,
Speaker 5: disappoint everybody who's all trying so hard to.
Speaker 4: Make like just saying that you had the best day
Speaker 4: or you know, like if you didn't like.
Speaker 5: I also want to have a good time, you know,
Speaker 5: I think that.
Speaker 2: You you were you want you wanted to have the
Speaker 2: best time. I understand the pressure that other people put
Speaker 2: on you, like this better be the best day, but
Speaker 2: I think deep down you wanted to have the best
Speaker 2: day possible. And I also hear that a lot from
Speaker 2: Anya about her anxiety is like I want to make
Speaker 2: sure that I absorb this day and I remember it
Speaker 2: and I have memories from this day and that it
Speaker 2: is the most special day of my life. But it's
Speaker 2: just a day, and it's a party, and.
Speaker 1: It's wait before you can I share a funny stuff
Speaker 1: I was freaking out having an anxiety spiral at like
Speaker 1: midnight or one. I can't it felt like one in
Speaker 1: the morning. And Nikki's caught, you know, as always like
Speaker 1: talking me off the ledge, and She's like, play out
Speaker 1: your fears. I'm like that I won't be present, that
Speaker 1: I'll miss it, that I'm gonna fuck something up, I'll
Speaker 1: forget something.
Speaker 2: Can you read your exact thing? Because it was very interesting,
Speaker 2: I can have it.
Speaker 1: I can't have it, okay, but and then she can.
Speaker 1: I just read in your tone what you said to
Speaker 1: me because it made me laugh so fucking hard. I'm
Speaker 1: I'm on imagine me in bed in the dark, just
Speaker 1: like all on the verge of tears. And I won't
Speaker 1: be present, and I well, either I want to have
Speaker 1: a nice day and be present, but I'm already lamenting it,
Speaker 1: lamenting it being over and me missing it because I
Speaker 1: wasn't really allowing myself to have fun.
Speaker 2: I'm not even making sense. Thanks for listening to this.
Speaker 2: I'd feel better just writing it out.
Speaker 1: And that she goes, Babe, no offense, No one cares
Speaker 1: at all.
Speaker 2: She goes.
Speaker 1: She goes, literally, everyone will forget everything about this day.
Speaker 2: And at the moment it's over. I go, No one, Uh,
Speaker 2: there's a way, did I said?
Speaker 4: What did I say?
Speaker 1: There was something else that made me laugh, So it
Speaker 1: was like a combination of over and over, like Babe,
Speaker 1: no one cares, yes, and it doesn't matter at all,
Speaker 1: which just made me laugh so hard at the anxiety passed.
Speaker 2: Yes, I go, it's just like every person, Oh this
Speaker 2: is it's just a party. And much like every person
Speaker 2: I know who throws parties, you're riddled with anxiety. I
Speaker 2: don't and I said, I don't get why people do them.
Speaker 2: And I said, oh God, where is it. I want
Speaker 2: to get it right because no one is going to
Speaker 2: cut you out of their life because you didn't respond
Speaker 2: to an email in person. Okay, this is another thing.
Speaker 2: You were like, people are emailing me back. But there
Speaker 2: was a worry about kombucha.
Speaker 4: This was the big worry.
Speaker 5: She goes, she's worried it has cyanide in it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, shes okay.
Speaker 1: I want.
Speaker 2: I can't sleep because it's so many decisions to be
Speaker 2: made and so much many things to do, overwhelming to
Speaker 2: the point of pep paralysis. Eventually, I'll get to it,
Speaker 2: but it's all exhausting, so true. Too many dumb things
Speaker 2: like whether I have to decide on whether I want
Speaker 2: to serve kombucha in a big conator or just let
Speaker 2: people serve themselves. And I can't even bring myself to
Speaker 2: reply to an email. I said, big container there done,
Speaker 2: and she's like, I mean, I'm doing my own hair
Speaker 2: and makeup. But I'm like, is this the dumb decision?
Speaker 2: Which I totally get too, because I you know, I
Speaker 2: did a whole podcast about I did my own hair
Speaker 2: and makeup for ted Lasso event, and I like was
Speaker 2: crying all day long. Yes, I said, do you your
Speaker 2: own hair and makeup? You know what you like because
Speaker 2: I know you, and like, you don't like any big
Speaker 2: eyelashes and like crazy winged thing, like you don't want
Speaker 2: to you don't need to contour. You know what you
Speaker 2: look like pretty? And then I said, I said, Babe,
Speaker 2: this will be a bunch of picks on Instagram for
Speaker 2: one day and those picks will only be revisited by
Speaker 2: you and Matt after that, and that I know that's harsh,
Speaker 2: but it's true.
Speaker 1: Now, It's true.
Speaker 2: How you look does not need to be like you're
Speaker 2: going to the oscars, Like it's not going to be.
Speaker 2: I said, weddings are forgettable. They all are. You don't
Speaker 2: have to ut And I go and about like she's worried. Well,
Speaker 2: this is the thing about weddings that I worry about.
Speaker 2: And I talked to Chris, like, if we have a wedding,
Speaker 2: I feel like I'll never see Chris because he will
Speaker 2: have to like spend individual time with everyone because they
Speaker 2: like made the effort to be there, and you want
Speaker 2: to have a moment with everyone. And I said, you
Speaker 2: don't have to hang with them. It's their choice to come.
Speaker 2: Let them be mad at you. Would you be mad
Speaker 2: at them in the same circumstance. And then I said,
Speaker 2: and it's New York City, Like if they flew in,
Speaker 2: they can find things to do. Get on a fucking
Speaker 2: double deck or bus, take a door, go to a
Speaker 2: Broadway show, to it down the street, walk on the
Speaker 2: high Line. But yeah, my mom gets mad at me
Speaker 2: too when she's like getting dressed and I go and
Speaker 2: she's like, should I wear this with this?
Speaker 1: And I go, no one is looking at you.
Speaker 2: And that soothes me because I had the revelation at
Speaker 2: a young age in the gym in La where everyone
Speaker 2: was so fit and perfect, and I was going through
Speaker 2: like a chubby phase in my life, and I didn't
Speaker 2: want to go to the gym. And I went there
Speaker 2: and I realized, no one is looking at me. Everyone's
Speaker 2: looking at themselves. And it's the same as I gave
Speaker 2: the same advice to Noah for Taylor Swift because she
Speaker 2: was worried about should I wear this sparkly dress or
Speaker 2: should I wear this red dress. It's a little more subdued,
Speaker 2: like I don't want to be going over and I
Speaker 2: go no offense, like no one is gonna look at
Speaker 2: you because no one. Everyone's so obsessed with their own outfit.
Speaker 2: They are just like or people can looking at me,
Speaker 2: and so no one looks at you.
Speaker 5: No one gives a shit about what anyone does at
Speaker 5: any time unless.
Speaker 2: Yes, and weddings are great and like, but just think
Speaker 2: about the weddings you've been to in your life that, yes,
Speaker 2: they have you have fond memories of them, but you're
Speaker 2: not remembering every detail of them. You're not revisiting. You're
Speaker 2: not like flipping through photos and going, wow, that wedding
Speaker 2: I went to four years ago, Like it's important to
Speaker 2: the people who have it, so don't worry about other
Speaker 2: people's experience as much. Was my point not to be like,
Speaker 2: no one cares, because we do care. We're going, but
Speaker 2: take a little bit of that off.
Speaker 3: I'll be looking at you the whole time, judging the
Speaker 3: whole every second I'm there, I'm gonna be like, I
Speaker 3: can't believe she made that decision dress.
Speaker 4: Getting married.
Speaker 3: But I remember a lot of good things about Brian's wedding,
Speaker 3: and it was two weeks ago, but those are the
Speaker 3: thing the highlights that you remember. Like I remember thinking,
Speaker 3: oh man, it's going to rain on this wedding. We're
Speaker 3: in trouble. And then the hails started coming down and
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, this wedding is screwed, Like I don't
Speaker 3: know what I mean, Brian's going to be devastated. And
Speaker 3: then everything cleared up.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, as soon as it starts. So it was
Speaker 5: the day of the wedding, and we knew that there
Speaker 5: was a likelihood of various storms in the mountains. That
Speaker 5: always changes, and it started drizzling in the morning and
Speaker 5: I was very worried then that it was going to
Speaker 5: rain all day. As soon as it started hailing, it
Speaker 5: was hailing buckets of like.
Speaker 3: Buckets of white on the ground. Yes, it looked like
Speaker 3: it was snowed.
Speaker 5: Yes.
Speaker 4: One of the rocks that concert everyone.
Speaker 5: One of the bridesmaids fell down the stairs because it
Speaker 5: was too slippery and she sprained her hand. Aubrey Aubrey Aubrey,
Speaker 5: who is a bestie by.
Speaker 4: The Bustye Aubrey, hope your ankles better man the way.
Speaker 5: There's many besties in Grand Lake. I didn't even know this,
Speaker 5: but the the executive chef of the Lodge restaurant.
Speaker 4: I met her. Yeah, that was cool.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she she listened to the podcast.
Speaker 2: She delivered my beyond Burger patty and mushrooms in for breakfast,
Speaker 2: and she was like, and I'm a really huge fan.
Speaker 2: I don't want to bother you by like literally even
Speaker 2: like look in her face and I was stuffing it
Speaker 2: down my face.
Speaker 3: And then she comes up and she's like, I tell
Speaker 3: everybody not to ever do this to guests, but I'm
Speaker 3: asking you for a pictures.
Speaker 2: So she's like, don't ever do this to people, but
Speaker 2: she's like, I'm doing it.
Speaker 5: Her names Caroline Schwartz. I met her at the dinner.
Speaker 5: I had dinner at the Lodge after the wedding, and
Speaker 5: she came up to our table and was like, thank
Speaker 5: you for inviting Nikki Clazier to your wedding. It was
Speaker 5: the best day of my life.
Speaker 2: She was so nice.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, that.
Speaker 2: Was really that was It was just a cool like
Speaker 2: it was a cool weekend altogether. Chris and I got
Speaker 2: there on Thursday and the wedding was Saturday, and it
Speaker 2: was like, it was the smallest place I've stayed in
Speaker 2: in my whole career since I was like traveling in
Speaker 2: Illinois as a one night or comedian doing like shitty
Speaker 2: real glindside.
Speaker 5: Small room.
Speaker 2: I'd say, like the smallest hotel room I will ever
Speaker 2: stay in the rest of my life. There's no way,
Speaker 2: there's no way we'll ever get smaller than that. And
Speaker 2: it really brought me back to like when I would
Speaker 2: drive to Carbondale to perform at a holiday inn like
Speaker 2: bar and grill, and no one would be listening to
Speaker 2: me and I just check into like a you know,
Speaker 2: a motel essentially. But it we got in, I was like,
Speaker 2: this is but that's what it was. And it was
Speaker 2: not bad at all because you.
Speaker 4: Don't even spend time in your room, you just sleep there.
Speaker 4: I don't need a lot of space.
Speaker 2: It was it was great and its cleans and it
Speaker 2: was nicely decorated. It wasn't like it wasn't like a
Speaker 2: motel grungy. It was like just small. It was nice though.
Speaker 3: I loved it. I think the whole point of those
Speaker 3: tiny rooms is to get you to hang out at
Speaker 3: the love I want everybody to be like Kellerman's and
Speaker 3: dirty dancing and hang out in one space.
Speaker 5: Definitely like a summer camp vibe.
Speaker 6: There was.
Speaker 5: There was moments when Nicky had great I was very gracious,
Speaker 5: and one of them was the small roofs. But the
Speaker 5: other one was when the DJ started playing a terrible
Speaker 5: The DJ was amazing in the world, but he did
Speaker 5: play a remix of a Taylor Swift song that was.
Speaker 2: Like, this is the story this is that's so funny,
Speaker 2: So he is. He was a great DJ. He was
Speaker 2: very into it, very professional. Every song he would he
Speaker 2: would play like the perfect amount of chorus and verse,
Speaker 2: and then you would transition out of the song and
Speaker 2: you would almost hear like a new song coming in
Speaker 2: and you'd go like, what the fuck is this? I
Speaker 2: know it, but I don't know what it's going to be.
Speaker 2: And we were about Chris how long into the night were.
Speaker 3: We I was saying. I was saying, Nicki is like,
Speaker 3: is one of the most intuitive people.
Speaker 4: It's the nicest thing you've ever said.
Speaker 3: I can't tell you how many times NICKI will will
Speaker 3: be watching TV or be somewhere and nick will like
Speaker 3: pause TV and be like, say something.
Speaker 4: We were listening to podcast recently?
Speaker 3: Was it?
Speaker 2: It was, uh, my dad or my dad wrote a porno? So,
Speaker 2: which is a great podcast that Chris and I have
Speaker 2: always been talking about starting. But on this road trip
Speaker 2: back from Colorado to the airport, we were like, let's
Speaker 2: start it, and we're listening to it and this girl's dad,
Speaker 2: this guy's dad wrote a porno and they're all making
Speaker 2: fun of it the whole time, which is the you know,
Speaker 2: the that's the idea is.
Speaker 4: Just to mock it.
Speaker 2: But I was kind of getting a little bit turned
Speaker 2: on by the writing because it was like a little
Speaker 2: bit like they were making fun of it, being like
Speaker 2: they were making fun of the fetish in it, which
Speaker 2: was kind of like this girl's like just like an
Speaker 2: object and like the people are just like using her,
Speaker 2: and they're like and then I stopped it and I go, I.
Speaker 4: Don't think these people watch porn. I like, pause it.
Speaker 2: I go, I they're making fun of it in a way,
Speaker 2: like I get making fun of the writing and the
Speaker 2: word choice, but like this is actually something people are
Speaker 2: very into, and this dad is kind of nailing it.
Speaker 2: And then we press play again and this girl goes,
Speaker 2: I just want to say, I don't watch porn. I
Speaker 2: was like, and Chris was like, how did you know?
Speaker 2: Because I was like, that was the point where it
Speaker 2: was like cause she has to address that she's not
Speaker 2: getting this.
Speaker 3: And the night before Nikki turned to me and she's like,
Speaker 3: it has been an hour and a half and this
Speaker 3: DJ hasn't played one single Taylor Swift song. The song
Speaker 3: ends like thirty seconds later, and then the Taylor Swift
Speaker 3: song comes home.
Speaker 4: And Chris goes, are there?
Speaker 2: This was another thing. He goes, are there Taylor Swift
Speaker 2: songs that are appropriate for a wedding? And there aren't many,
Speaker 2: to be honest with you, like when you're really wanting
Speaker 2: to dance, But we've got shake it off, We've got
Speaker 2: We're never getting back together, and there's a couple other ones,
Speaker 2: but those are the two main ones. So shake it
Speaker 2: Off begins.
Speaker 5: I would dance to your being too, loud too, you're
Speaker 5: being too loud.
Speaker 2: Yeah, calm down, Yeah, that'd be a good one. Waiting
Speaker 2: with me, but shake it off.
Speaker 3: He he is playing so every song the normal one,
Speaker 3: like you were saying he was. He would manipulate the
Speaker 3: bpms a little bit for some songs. So we songs.
Speaker 4: Yes, but every crank up to like what they were
Speaker 4: every other song.
Speaker 3: So this song starts, and I'm telling you he slowed
Speaker 3: it down by thirty percent at least.
Speaker 4: I stay out to the late, got nothing in my brain.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's like Taylor Swift one.
Speaker 2: And Brian came up to me about a minute in
Speaker 2: because we were keeping like waiting for the beat to
Speaker 2: drop where it would be like shake it off, and
Speaker 2: it just wasn't and you could tell it wasn't ever
Speaker 2: going to.
Speaker 4: And Brian came up and he goes, is this acceptable?
Speaker 5: I said, is this offensive?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 7: Yes?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 4: Is this offensive to you?
Speaker 2: And I go absolutely, and he and I go, but
Speaker 2: it's funny because it's it's funnier than if you played
Speaker 2: it normal. I got more joy out of like this song,
Speaker 2: never reaching any kind of apex where you could let
Speaker 2: loose anyway you.
Speaker 3: Would rather him just never even you. I would rather
Speaker 3: be like, oh, this guy just doesn't know that Taylor
Speaker 3: Swift has a few good songs at a.
Speaker 2: Wedding, right, And instead it was like bastardizing. Yes, but
Speaker 2: that was that was but I enjoyed it. But the
Speaker 2: rest of the songs were so oh.
Speaker 5: My god, I do want to him. He was the
Speaker 5: best DJ. He We danced the entire night. The dance
Speaker 5: floor was on fire the whole night, and he he
Speaker 5: was responsible for that. He he knew the right songs
Speaker 5: to play, so fun. He was amazing and so gracious
Speaker 5: and great the whole time. He lent us a speaker
Speaker 5: for the day before. He is amazing. If you're in
Speaker 5: the Colorado RIDI DJ Perry, he's booked until twenty twenty five.
Speaker 5: You can't get him, but he is.
Speaker 3: Can't even get you can't get even get him. Goodluck
Speaker 3: married ten years book DJ P.
Speaker 2: We're dancing right away and it was still light outside.
Speaker 2: And that was a surprising to me that as soon
Speaker 2: as the speech is wrapped up and dinner was like
Speaker 2: already eaten, everyone ran to the dance floor and it
Speaker 2: was it was packed the whole time.
Speaker 1: One thing having anxiety right now? Why because I don't
Speaker 1: have dancing at my wedding. My wedding is like a
Speaker 1: lunch garden park.
Speaker 4: That's fine, That's what it is.
Speaker 3: That's what it is.
Speaker 4: You're getting married during the.
Speaker 2: Day, in the in the afternoon, and I told you
Speaker 2: should have dancing, and you said, I don't want it.
Speaker 4: So like you.
Speaker 3: Chose that the best DJ in Denver. This was a choice.
Speaker 4: But no, one no, Like one thing I did is
Speaker 4: I were to dance at.
Speaker 3: Cyane's Crew was great. It kind of reminded me of
Speaker 3: like friends because most of the guys that were there
Speaker 3: were high school friends, yes, and they were taking shots
Speaker 3: at Brian all weekend. The wives were taking shots. I
Speaker 3: didn't you made me feel like a home.
Speaker 2: Yeah. We were in the hot tub and like people
Speaker 2: would just get in and they were all they all
Speaker 2: knew Brian from high school. There's like Brian has like
Speaker 2: ten friends from high school and all their wives were there.
Speaker 3: And they've got a guy's chat. I think it's like
Speaker 3: fifteen people.
Speaker 2: A girl chat.
Speaker 1: We have nine.
Speaker 2: I asked what they talked about in the guy's chat
Speaker 2: because your buddy Steinman, he was telling who I love
Speaker 2: so much, which, by the way, everyone was shit talking
Speaker 2: Steinman all weekend and being like.
Speaker 4: Ah, you don't even want to run into this guy.
Speaker 3: Character.
Speaker 4: I didn't hear what I heard. You were going to
Speaker 4: get towels.
Speaker 2: These girls were like, I go, is Steinmann married because
Speaker 2: they're all like all of our husbands, and I go,
Speaker 2: which one of you is married to the guy who's
Speaker 2: giving the speech that I've heard about, who's like so
Speaker 2: crazy and so wild. And they're like, oh, no one
Speaker 2: could love Steinman. He'll never find anyone. I'm like, he's awesome.
Speaker 2: He he's the best speech he gave. He fucking killed
Speaker 2: the speech. And he was like a normal guy, Like
Speaker 2: who is this guy? I pictured like a Chris Farley character,
Speaker 2: being like just out, unhinted, drunk, stumbling everywhere, kind of
Speaker 2: like a chaotic man.
Speaker 3: He was such a reliable, good hanging at the end
Speaker 3: of the night and one of the best best speeches
Speaker 3: I've ever heard of my life.
Speaker 4: Yes, oh truely.
Speaker 3: Do you have any highlights from that?
Speaker 2: My favorite was that he was like Brian the last
Speaker 2: the last line he had he said he didn't he
Speaker 2: wrote that joke that this morning, but he's closed it
Speaker 2: and he goes and Brian is on strike from a job.
Speaker 3: He doesn't even have so funny your favorite line? That
Speaker 3: was probably it? But had he had a few great
Speaker 3: I mean probably what were some of your favorites?
Speaker 5: Oh god, it's all blur. I couldn't. I don't remember anything.
Speaker 5: I have a out of the speech, but I uh,
Speaker 5: I don't remember any specifics.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, his vows were opening line for his wedding
Speaker 2: vows was the one that killed me.
Speaker 4: That's one I've been telling people.
Speaker 1: John, did you prepare et cetera the vows well before
Speaker 1: we go to the vows.
Speaker 5: I don't want to finish the hail thing because it
Speaker 5: was drizzling during the day and I was afraid that
Speaker 5: it was going to rain all day. But then as
Speaker 5: soon as it started hailing, I said to the wedding coordinator,
Speaker 5: who was also the best I said this, the ceremony
Speaker 5: is gonna be outside as soon as it started hailing,
Speaker 5: because I knew that in the mountains, if it hails
Speaker 5: that much, it's gonna stop pretty soon. Maybe we would
Speaker 5: have had to have delayed the ceremony by twenty to
Speaker 5: thirty minutes, but there's just not that much water in
Speaker 5: the air to allow.
Speaker 4: It's never hailed for days.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so as soon as I started hailing, everyone was like,
Speaker 5: oh no, we're to do it inside. And I was like,
Speaker 5: make sure we wipe down the benches, make sure the
Speaker 5: staircase is swept, because we're doing this outside. And it
Speaker 5: was I.
Speaker 4: Cleared up beautiful.
Speaker 2: It was like sunny and gorgeous and it wasn't like
Speaker 2: sopping wet everywhere. It was like a perfect ceremony. I
Speaker 2: cried instantly when you started walking, when you were walking
Speaker 2: towards the.
Speaker 4: Really whatever, Yeah, instantly, why because I just.
Speaker 5: Knew we were like he's disgusting.
Speaker 2: No, you looked so handsome, so handsome, but you just
Speaker 2: it was just like I saw the importance on your face,
Speaker 2: like I saw a little bit of nerves. I saw
Speaker 2: like how special this was to you, like on your face,
Speaker 2: and I just like couldn't handle it, and I started
Speaker 2: like welling up like instantly, because it was just like
Speaker 2: I just saw all the love you have for Ali,
Speaker 2: like everything was just on your face.
Speaker 4: I don't know why, you know, And your cute little dog.
Speaker 5: Was yeah, Jack was there. Nikki, you are an extreme EmPATH.
Speaker 5: I have frequently said things to you about like my
Speaker 5: pains or whatever, and I can see you feeling my pain,
Speaker 5: and I think that's an incredible uh personality traits.
Speaker 2: So I think I will never say that I'm an
Speaker 2: EmPATH because I hate people that do, and they're usually
Speaker 2: not because it's just a way to be. Like, there's
Speaker 2: a lot of people on f Boy Island. Let me
Speaker 2: just say that. It always like and because I'm an EmPATH, Like,
Speaker 2: I like, get what you're saying about your school.
Speaker 5: You can't say that about My name is Jack.
Speaker 2: Well and I used to have a therapist who told
Speaker 2: me I had no empathy. But I think I'm brimming
Speaker 2: with it.
Speaker 5: I think, well, that's why you felt I really felt it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and it was just so yeah, that was
Speaker 2: a and then just you know, every let's get to
Speaker 2: your vows. Though. Annie wants to know how when you
Speaker 2: started preparing and how long it took you six years.
Speaker 5: Ago on you before you even met Ali. I started right, No,
Speaker 5: I I took about about a month prior. I wrote
Speaker 5: a first draft and then just like mold it over,
Speaker 5: just like was mulling it over. I just did notes
Speaker 5: in my phone and then like I'd say, I looked
Speaker 5: it over like four more times, stressing out. The biggest
Speaker 5: time I looked it over was that the night before
Speaker 5: when I wrote it down in my little book, and
Speaker 5: the day before that we were in Veil. I did
Speaker 5: a I did a pass on it, but it normally
Speaker 5: I only spend like I did my brother's best man speech.
Speaker 5: I did Rob Stern's best man speech, and I wrote
Speaker 5: those the day of. Normally I do it the.
Speaker 1: Best man's speeches. You know, I kind of want to
Speaker 1: do that, control everyone's speech.
Speaker 5: But I knew that there was going to be a
Speaker 5: certain expectation, especially amongst the my high school friends and
Speaker 5: stuff that did you say? Especially expectations were from No.
Speaker 2: It's especially especially No, especially.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna Brian, you are too smart to be saying.
Speaker 5: Especially. It was especially I think for my high school
Speaker 5: friends and my family, especially to prove it to my family,
Speaker 5: like I'm a good writer, I'm funny. You know. I
Speaker 5: needed this to be good. Is everybody that I ever
Speaker 5: cared about or loved is sitting there in these seats,
Speaker 5: And it's not just that I care about love them,
Speaker 5: but also I have something to prove to some of
Speaker 5: these people. Some of Ali's family never even met me,
Speaker 5: and I'm like I'm going to show you who I
Speaker 5: am in my writing.
Speaker 2: Well, it wasn't even like you did. You did that,
Speaker 2: and you weren't trying to be too funny, because first
Speaker 2: of all, you just are funny, and so you be.
Speaker 2: You trying to be sincere even became really fun. You
Speaker 2: like being as sincere as possible with hilarious. Can we
Speaker 2: just go?
Speaker 4: Can you walk us through your vows? Can I just
Speaker 4: hear it?
Speaker 3: I laughed so hard.
Speaker 4: I think the besties deserve to hear the whole thing.
Speaker 5: It's pretty long, so I want the whole thing, but
Speaker 5: I can.
Speaker 4: Oh, there are some moments that really got me.
Speaker 3: There was one moment where Salmon Runner.
Speaker 4: The Salmon Runner was great.
Speaker 5: There was one moment where, no matter how many times
Speaker 5: I read it to myself, I couldn't not cry. And
Speaker 5: I was like, I'm not.
Speaker 4: Gonna cry stop the whole time.
Speaker 6: Brian.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I just want to say that it was a
Speaker 5: miracle because I feel like shit probably nine out of
Speaker 5: ten days of the week, and I didn't sleep a
Speaker 5: single second before this day, and the entire day I
Speaker 5: felt a solid eighty five percent, which is like the
Speaker 5: best I felt.
Speaker 4: I think it proves that's great that it's in your head.
Speaker 2: I know that you know everything.
Speaker 5: I know that I was, that I was a solid
Speaker 5: eighty five percent. It was a miracle, and honestly, I
Speaker 5: felt so glad.
Speaker 4: I was so worried about that.
Speaker 5: All that anxiety. But when I was with my groomsmen
Speaker 5: in the getting ready room, I said to them, you
Speaker 5: know I made I said a line. Rob was there,
Speaker 5: and he laughed out loud. I didn't even realized it
Speaker 5: was funny, I said. I didn't sleep at all last night,
Speaker 5: not a single second. But if I do sleep, I
Speaker 5: know I would have ground and clacked my teeth. So
Speaker 5: I guess it's better to be tired than in pain. Yes, yes, yeah.
Speaker 2: I agree, Like you would have had some like crazy
Speaker 2: nightmares and stress dreams that would have added to the
Speaker 2: overall stress.
Speaker 5: So you were just tired, but not in pain. And
Speaker 5: so that's how I felt going into the up to this.
Speaker 5: But once I got there, all that anxiety and the
Speaker 5: pressure of my friends and family wanting me to have
Speaker 5: the best time of my life turned into incredible feelings
Speaker 5: of love and support, and I felt amazing. And I
Speaker 5: can honestly say this. I know it's cliche, but this
Speaker 5: was the best day of my life, best day of
Speaker 5: my life. I had the best time. I married the
Speaker 5: love of my life and I have no regrets and
Speaker 5: the whole day was amazing, and this anxiety was lifted
Speaker 5: off of me, and I think during the you know,
Speaker 5: during the dancing and stuff, it was truly like being
Speaker 5: on drugs. It was cathartic. We were so happy, not
Speaker 5: just that we got married, but that it was over
Speaker 5: all of it's over now. Multiple times Ali and I
Speaker 5: raised our hands in the air and said.
Speaker 3: It's fucking over. We're done. Shit. That felt the highlight
Speaker 3: of my night, despite all the laughs and your stuff
Speaker 3: and like all the joy with her values, how I
Speaker 3: looked and how pretty Nikki made me say she looked
Speaker 3: was when I went, I talked, I got like I
Speaker 3: got like two minutes with Ali in the middle of
Speaker 3: the dancing, and the first thing she said was this
Speaker 3: is this is the greatest day of my life. And
Speaker 3: I was just like, I was overcome with joy because
Speaker 3: I knew she meant it like.
Speaker 2: She loves top like thousand Honestly, it was filled with joy.
Speaker 4: It was it was It was truly like a perfect wedding.
Speaker 2: If I could just like have that be every my wedding,
Speaker 2: like it seemed like the best.
Speaker 3: And Allie looks like she knows. She's like she's you know,
Speaker 3: she's beautiful when you're going on a hike, and she's
Speaker 3: beautiful when like, you know, she's hanging out and all
Speaker 3: that fun stuff. But she was born like it looked
Speaker 3: like she was born to be a bride. A bride.
Speaker 2: She looked stunning and her dress was perfect. But she
Speaker 2: and she also got down on the dance floor. I've
Speaker 2: never if you think, I do you see me dance
Speaker 2: like a Swift concert and you're kind of like, wow,
Speaker 2: take it easy, Nikki.
Speaker 4: You don't know what dancing is until you see this girl.
Speaker 3: What was beauty like?
Speaker 4: She was bopping around, you know.
Speaker 3: So do you remember what song it was? I would have.
Speaker 3: It would take me a little bit.
Speaker 2: But they remember there's a song that's something like it
Speaker 2: up hot Wires.
Speaker 3: All the girls, like all of her friends must have
Speaker 3: like done the US. Was it Space? No, it was
Speaker 3: it was after Space. Jam was one of them.
Speaker 4: But oh yeah there was one Space. I remember it was.
Speaker 3: They were like and then they One of my favorite
Speaker 3: things is those beautiful moments were like every single friend.
Speaker 3: If they hear it, it's like a beacon that they
Speaker 3: all have to gather together. And there was a few
Speaker 3: of those songs where like all of her girlfriends.
Speaker 2: Knew, we've got to get to.
Speaker 3: The dance floor.
Speaker 5: For me, it was Hymca that was my yeah.
Speaker 2: But here's this as it's playing, I was saying to Chris,
Speaker 2: this is the gayest song imaginable.
Speaker 4: I can't believe the lyrics, how gay that song is.
Speaker 5: You can hang with all the boys, you can hang.
Speaker 2: Out with all the boys, you can do whatever you please,
Speaker 2: you can have a good like and then it's about
Speaker 2: like getting homeless.
Speaker 4: Boys off the street, which is a nice thing.
Speaker 2: And it's like you can come in, you can get clean,
Speaker 2: you can have a good meal, and then you can
Speaker 2: fucking do.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And if that's what you feel.
Speaker 2: So gay and it's so your body just knows why.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you don't even have to think about it.
Speaker 2: It's like it's like.
Speaker 5: You can dance to Ymca that the beginning eat is
Speaker 5: so danceable.
Speaker 2: But in the seventies, to people like were accepting of
Speaker 2: gay people, like they we're in the seventies where people
Speaker 2: like this song's fucking gay. And like they're like, you
Speaker 2: don't know people.
Speaker 5: I don't even realize because like I think in republics,
Speaker 5: I think McDonald Trump wanted that to be his like
Speaker 5: theme song, and they said no, Like there was some
Speaker 5: Republican who was like, I wanted to be my team song.
Speaker 2: But themc now is like you can have you can
Speaker 2: come in and get your picture taken and then pay
Speaker 2: thirty dollars.
Speaker 4: You can go on the slide in the Lazy River.
Speaker 2: It's like you can run into a bunch of families.
Speaker 2: You can not go past this gate because you can't
Speaker 2: scan your car.
Speaker 3: Rule.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not the same, but it used to be
Speaker 2: like a fucking gay bathhouse fun.
Speaker 3: You can wrote on the sidelines of a pickup basketball
Speaker 3: game and feel really nervous about getting in.
Speaker 5: With real athletes.
Speaker 4: You can go on a treadmill that a fact I
Speaker 4: didn't wipe down.
Speaker 2: You can deal with him. You can watch Fox News
Speaker 2: on the screens. It's like that's what's going on at
Speaker 2: wess Now, Okay, anyway, I.
Speaker 5: Wanted to show you this picture. This is like a
Speaker 5: preview picture from that the that the photographer sent me.
Speaker 2: My god, yeah, that was Ali's just bouncy and.
Speaker 5: In the background.
Speaker 3: So who's basically like, I didn't know my son was
Speaker 3: such a stud. Yeah, your dad was so proud of you.
Speaker 3: It was sweet than you to make sure.
Speaker 5: Oh sorry, I want to hear that. But I sent
Speaker 5: that picture to Darien Hip Hop hnting and I said, yeah,
Speaker 5: that's a great one. I said, I just got married
Speaker 5: and you weren't there in person, but you were definitely
Speaker 5: there in my hips and knees, and I couldn't have
Speaker 5: done it without youp Ho. Truly, he is the reason
Speaker 5: I was able to.
Speaker 2: Dance coach for every everyone once a week for Oh
Speaker 2: my god, Yeah it did payoff. You looked so fluid
Speaker 2: and comfortable and you're casual dancing.
Speaker 5: Thank you.
Speaker 2: Can we just can I just hear the first couple
Speaker 2: of lines of your vows because that's what it really
Speaker 2: got me.
Speaker 5: Okay, so Ali's It worked out that Ali's vow was
Speaker 5: a was Ali's vows were amazing, but we were so
Speaker 5: funny too, And they were funny, they were amazing, heartfelt.
Speaker 5: I loved them, and they also worked as a setup
Speaker 5: for my first line, which wound up being a punch line.
Speaker 5: It wouldn't have gotten a laugh if Ali didn't do her.
Speaker 1: Vows, did you plant that way?
Speaker 5: No, I didn't expect the first line to get a line.
Speaker 4: I don't hear each other's vows.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Matt wants to like go over our vows before
Speaker 1: the wedding.
Speaker 3: Would that's the point of it? Yeah, he said, I wouldn't.
Speaker 5: I wouldn't go over the vaws. I mean it was
Speaker 5: I mean we got lucky in that we didn't cover
Speaker 5: the same ground in our vows, but I think it
Speaker 5: was so nice hearing them from the heart.
Speaker 1: Insupposed to go first.
Speaker 5: It doesn't matter wherever you.
Speaker 2: Think should Why don't we take a break and come
Speaker 2: back and listen Tor's vows because we got we got
Speaker 2: to do that, and we're not going to get nothing
Speaker 2: before we go. So we'll be right back and you're
Speaker 2: gonna want to hear it Bryan's vows after this, all right,
Speaker 2: dearly beloved, we are gathered here, Brian, will you read
Speaker 2: some of your vows?
Speaker 5: Yes? So Ali did her vows, and then my first line.
Speaker 2: Was hers were amazing. By the way, I don't want
Speaker 2: to breeze past that. I'm not just saying like, oh,
Speaker 2: they were cute, lovely, they they made me cry so much,
Speaker 2: and and they were the you're right, the perfect setup
Speaker 2: to yours.
Speaker 5: Because Allie's vows were funny and heartfelt, but they were
Speaker 5: all so more normal. And then because my my first line,
Speaker 5: because she's normal, because she's like, I love you, And
Speaker 5: then it swelled to a loving thing. And and then
Speaker 5: I say, before I met you, I was very lonely.
Speaker 2: That was the first line.
Speaker 3: Was at lunch true because everyone there knew that, everyone
Speaker 3: there knew Brian. He wanted to find somebody. It wasn't
Speaker 3: working out. It was a miracle that he found out.
Speaker 7: My god, the line that made me cry. It's even
Speaker 7: thinking about it. I can't even can you do the line?
Speaker 7: The well, just take us through. But you gotta do
Speaker 7: the line. I don't want to tease it at all.
Speaker 2: Just keep going in.
Speaker 4: If you don't do it, I'll tell you.
Speaker 5: I start telling the story about I had been single
Speaker 5: and searching for someone for a long time. I lost
Speaker 5: hope I would find anyone. My expectations were very low,
Speaker 5: which also got to laugh. I didn't expect that.
Speaker 4: Yes, it's hilarious.
Speaker 5: I used to say, I want someone who will ask
Speaker 5: me what I want for dinner. Tonight, which I've said
Speaker 5: to you Nikki before. Uh that that's when I was
Speaker 5: searching for someone. I'd always say, I just want someone
Speaker 5: that will ask me what I want for dinner tonight,
Speaker 5: because that's like the symbol of just like where a partnership.
Speaker 2: Mom, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah sure?
Speaker 1: And then I three, can I get clarification on that?
Speaker 1: Like is that open to like uber eats or are
Speaker 1: we talking like what do you want me to cook
Speaker 1: for you tonight?
Speaker 5: Well, that's that was my joke.
Speaker 1: I said, I'm sorry.
Speaker 5: Something I realized now I could get from like a McDonald's.
Speaker 2: No, I don't want.
Speaker 4: I fixed in the person day.
Speaker 1: It was so funny but honest question, like in your dreams,
Speaker 1: were you looking for someone who was cooking for you
Speaker 1: or you just wanted them to caere.
Speaker 5: I wanted somebody. When you're when you're single and alone,
Speaker 5: no one gives a shit what you do at any time.
Speaker 5: You don't have to clear anything with anybody. But when
Speaker 5: you're with somebody, a very normal thing in a relationship
Speaker 5: is for you to say, hey, what are we doing
Speaker 5: for dinner tonight? And that's what I wanted. I wanted cooking. Yeah,
Speaker 5: I wanted that like sort of routine and that expectation
Speaker 5: that someone else is like interested and on board with
Speaker 5: whatever it is that we're doing together for dinner.
Speaker 2: It's a really good team, beautiful, simplistic, poetic way of
Speaker 2: you know, highlighting what relationships are about is about someone
Speaker 2: caring about the mundane, your mundane need.
Speaker 1: Your designers. Yeah, would you like?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 4: And I always when Chris says it, I always say
Speaker 4: your dick.
Speaker 2: So it's like.
Speaker 3: She did it?
Speaker 2: Did It'll say what your.
Speaker 5: For dinner?
Speaker 3: Take it out?
Speaker 2: Uber eats, what you're gonna do? Okay, all right, so
Speaker 2: keep going.
Speaker 1: On the vows.
Speaker 5: So then I started talking about dating. So when I
Speaker 5: first saw a picture of you on that dating app
Speaker 5: dressed like a pirate, only one thought crossed my mind.
Speaker 5: There's absolutely no way someone that beautiful will ever talk
Speaker 5: to me, which is truly what I felt. Yeah, but
Speaker 5: I said, you know.
Speaker 3: What we all felt.
Speaker 5: Yes, No, it's really crazy. I really do think that
Speaker 5: she's lady. Yeah she is. But I said, you know what,
Speaker 5: I'm just gonna message her because I'm just messaging a
Speaker 5: lot of people right now. It's a numbers game.
Speaker 2: That was so funny. That was one of my favoriteized you,
Speaker 2: but you know what, I'm going to message her because
Speaker 2: I'm just messaging a lot of people right now.
Speaker 4: I remember that.
Speaker 2: Got a huge usual.
Speaker 4: But you know what, because we thought you were gonna say,
Speaker 4: I'm going to message her because you know, on the
Speaker 4: off chance this girl.
Speaker 3: Or we respond or like I feel some magic.
Speaker 2: Something, you know, usually I would pass up on this.
Speaker 2: But there was something about the way her smile, you know,
Speaker 2: tilted into the side. But he was just like, because
Speaker 2: I was just messing goo.
Speaker 5: That was one of the biggest laughs I've ever heard.
Speaker 2: Okay, go on.
Speaker 5: So the fact that you not only responded but also
Speaker 5: greet to go on a date was quite frankly shocking.
Speaker 5: I was certain you would cancel or maybe you were.
Speaker 5: This was this was one of my actual punchlines I start.
Speaker 5: I sort of regretted having actual punchlines in there, because
Speaker 5: I was like, everyone knows you're trying to get a laugh.
Speaker 2: Well no, no, no, I don't think so you got it.
Speaker 2: That's who you are anyway, Like you try to get
Speaker 2: laughs in your own life.
Speaker 5: I was trying to get some laughs. So I was
Speaker 5: certain you would cancel or maybe you were an actual
Speaker 5: pirate who was about to ask me for money. So
Speaker 5: that was an actual Okay.
Speaker 4: Well I regret that for you as well.
Speaker 2: Let's skip over that one. No, no, no, it was good.
Speaker 5: The last thing I expected was the actual girl from
Speaker 5: that picture to walk through the doors of that weird
Speaker 5: airport theme bar. I stupidly suggested, and then I closed yes,
Speaker 5: and then I when people laughed at that, then I
Speaker 5: said it went out of business three months later because
Speaker 5: people to tell people don't want to spend more time
Speaker 5: in an airport. I was off the cuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah that was really good.
Speaker 5: Yeah, now I'm riffing. I'm doing crowd work and work.
Speaker 3: My mom.
Speaker 5: When I first saw you, I thought you were the
Speaker 5: most beautiful person I'd ever seen, so beautiful. The bartender
Speaker 5: was confused at what was even happening, which is true.
Speaker 5: He probably thought it was your agent. I couldnot I
Speaker 5: cannot believe how lucky I was to be sitting across
Speaker 5: from you that night. You laughed at my weird jokes.
Speaker 5: You were smart, you were kind. I was so nervous
Speaker 5: and excited. I talked for forty five minutes about salmon.
Speaker 5: I went, this is all true. We talked about it
Speaker 5: all the time I went on and on about salmon
Speaker 5: and where to buy salmon and what temperature to cook salmon,
Speaker 5: and this is my vows.
Speaker 4: Yeah he kept salmon salmon as well.
Speaker 3: Correct.
Speaker 2: She had frontloaded the salmon thing. So it was so
Speaker 2: funny because we all knew they had not heard each
Speaker 2: other's speeches. Like it wasn't that vibe of like I
Speaker 2: would never in a million years think that they planned this,
Speaker 2: but they both It.
Speaker 4: Was lovely that they had.
Speaker 2: And that's what you'll have, Anya, too, is like you
Speaker 2: and Matt will have crossovers in yours that will be
Speaker 2: genuine and cute rather than like plant.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just gonna tell them I forbid us from
Speaker 1: doing there.
Speaker 3: You go, yeah, I love it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, good, that's what you also do. So for most girls,
Speaker 5: you got them. For most girls, a ten minute lecture
Speaker 5: about salmon on a first date would be a deal breaker.
Speaker 5: But you said, and I quote, that's cool, how much
Speaker 5: you know about salmon over and she meant it, that's
Speaker 5: why we go well together. Oh yes, And that's when
Speaker 5: I knew i'd be talking you.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I like that part where you go and
Speaker 4: she meant it like he was like, that's cool, how
Speaker 4: much you know about Salmon.
Speaker 3: She really the beauty of the relationship is that she
Speaker 3: really gets Brian, yes, like not only gets him, but
Speaker 3: appreciates Brian. And for anybody that has been getting to
Speaker 3: know Brian over this this you know since the start
Speaker 3: of the podcast, once you get it, you're all in, oh, yeah, because.
Speaker 2: I don't understand who's like there was some talk of
Speaker 2: like Brian's kind of like an interesting, different kind of guy,
Speaker 2: which you know, arguably he is.
Speaker 4: Who would not like Brian Frangie.
Speaker 2: I don't understand it because club man, you're nice as
Speaker 2: first and foremost, Like, you can't not like someone who's
Speaker 2: not nice. Sure, you get grumpy sometimes and you like
Speaker 2: have strong opinions about things, but overall, you're like a
Speaker 2: very kind person, which is like I forget. I was
Speaker 2: telling my mom like how we met, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: he was just not He was a guy in Bloomington.
Speaker 2: I was at a comedy club and he was nice,
Speaker 2: and you want those people around if you don't like
Speaker 2: Brian Frangie.
Speaker 4: That's on eight.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm just talking about being like appreciating how amazing
Speaker 3: and hilarious it is like he you know, while he
Speaker 3: was doing stand up. He was like my favorite comic.
Speaker 3: I felt like he was Larry David and Bill burd
Speaker 3: In one human man. Yes, wow, and he's not doing
Speaker 3: stand up enough anymore. But man, I just am back
Speaker 3: out there, getting back out there. So yeah, that line,
Speaker 3: that line the salmon stuff killed.
Speaker 5: I can say that I had to learn in my
Speaker 5: life the phrase just kidding, because frequently, if I'm in
Speaker 5: a conversation with somewhere or meeting new people, I'll do
Speaker 5: a joke and they will not get it at all.
Speaker 5: So I learned to say just kidding a lot in
Speaker 5: my life, Yes, exactly, Yeah, because if they don't get
Speaker 5: it and I don't say just kidding, then they're just
Speaker 5: looking at me like I'm insane. That's happened so many
Speaker 5: times and sometimes.
Speaker 2: You're not kidding though.
Speaker 3: Well that's why you have to really understand the nuance
Speaker 3: of Brian Frangie, and Ali does and you could. I mean,
Speaker 3: she's really bought into.
Speaker 4: This hilarious Frangngie story.
Speaker 2: When we were all gathered together after like we had
Speaker 2: a really fun group at the end, and then night
Speaker 2: everyone was kind of drunk, you know, and partying, and
Speaker 2: the bride was with them and all, and she was
Speaker 2: holding it down. It was so nice of her to
Speaker 2: like stay with the main party because we kind of
Speaker 2: went up to the cabin with Brian and Rob Stern
Speaker 2: and his Steinman guy and your brother who did the ceremony,
Speaker 2: and then Chris and Tim uh Tim convey and Tim
Speaker 2: was telling a story about uh oh and Rob's wife
Speaker 2: and so uh you were telling a story. He was
Speaker 2: telling a story about when he lived with Brian and
Speaker 2: they were like looking at apartments or whatever, and he
Speaker 2: was going through like there was like kind of we're
Speaker 2: just going through and Brian's just like and what about this?
Speaker 2: And like, well, this seems a little doesn't work very well.
Speaker 2: And he went up to a kitchen cabinet and like
Speaker 2: pulled on it.
Speaker 4: And was like and this doesn't even open.
Speaker 2: The landlord just goes it opens on the other side,
Speaker 2: like and what about this? Oh, so are you gonna
Speaker 2: fix this?
Speaker 3: Pre empty? So he get a good deal.
Speaker 4: Okay, back to VOWS.
Speaker 5: I just want to say it was so amazing having
Speaker 5: all you guys there. I was so happy that you
Speaker 5: guys came. So fun. It was like it made my
Speaker 5: food was so good.
Speaker 2: And that just the atmosphere and like all your friends
Speaker 2: were fun. It was like and we Chris and I
Speaker 2: just had like a great time on little like adventures
Speaker 2: that we went on together.
Speaker 3: The town was cute, and they did a bunch of
Speaker 3: thoughtful things, like for people that were vegan, they had
Speaker 3: like they made sure all the vegan people stuff and
Speaker 3: then the gift bags were really thoughtful. Yeah, they were
Speaker 3: so cute and I've never seen better place cards like
Speaker 3: to find your Table. They're big on national parks and
Speaker 3: they had your name your name on them. But then
Speaker 3: also I think they associated the closest or the national
Speaker 3: park that sort of made most sense to you. And
Speaker 3: they had the Saint Louis.
Speaker 2: Arch form the Gateway arch table yea, and yeah, and
Speaker 2: it was just it was a great group of people
Speaker 2: and the dancing was fun and it was just and
Speaker 2: it was low key and there wasn't like everyone has
Speaker 2: to look amazing. You're in Colorado, so it was kind
Speaker 2: of like a laid back and Brian wears like you know,
Speaker 2: fanny packs everywhere, so it was like the dress code.
Speaker 2: It wasn't like we need to be seen and look perfect,
Speaker 2: like I felt like it was just casual and fun
Speaker 2: and it was about having fun and.
Speaker 5: That's that was our number one goal. Was totally easy,
Speaker 5: good time.
Speaker 4: It was easy.
Speaker 3: It had the opposite of an on your wedding.
Speaker 4: She looks like a cherry pick.
Speaker 1: All I heard was food on your wedding.
Speaker 3: That's an opposite of on your wedding. Sorry, I was
Speaker 3: just kidding.
Speaker 1: I'm filled with so much anxiety, but that does sound
Speaker 1: so lovely. I don't have gift bags. I don't have it.
Speaker 2: Don't compare.
Speaker 4: I need to get back because you don't have You
Speaker 4: don't need gift bags, babe.
Speaker 1: I don't egot about coasters or name tags.
Speaker 4: There's no seat placements, babe.
Speaker 3: You don't need that person that they gave us. You
Speaker 3: don't have to do that need gift bags.
Speaker 2: This was This was an added thing for people because
Speaker 2: they were coming in and staying the whole weekend at
Speaker 2: this place like it was obviously, I would never care
Speaker 2: if there was a gift bags.
Speaker 1: Well, can I say one last thing quickly that I
Speaker 1: just remember that Nikki said to soothe me at my
Speaker 1: anxiety at two in the morning about my wedding. I
Speaker 1: go and I over invited people. I was supposed to
Speaker 1: have fifty it's in a tiny backyard and there's sixty
Speaker 1: people coming and she goes, she goes, Babe, so many
Speaker 1: people are going to get sick?
Speaker 7: I did.
Speaker 2: I said that, here you go, so many people are
Speaker 2: gonna get sick.
Speaker 1: And I just started laughing in it all.
Speaker 3: And what does that mean? It means too many cherries.
Speaker 3: I think you meant they're not going.
Speaker 1: To the wedding. But it sounded like all my friends
Speaker 1: and drugs are just going to be getting sick everywhere
Speaker 1: and canceling.
Speaker 2: And I would not say so many people are going
Speaker 2: to get sick. There's no way I would. Didn't even
Speaker 2: make sense. I can back, people can go inside.
Speaker 1: I know you said so many people are going to
Speaker 1: get sick. When I said I'm nervous, I don't do
Speaker 1: it now.
Speaker 5: It's bad radio.
Speaker 1: It's bad radio. But no, when I was stressing about
Speaker 1: too many people, yeah, it's there, but you meant like
Speaker 1: before they'll flake. But it just sounded so funny, like
Speaker 1: look forward to all your friends getting sick.
Speaker 5: If it makes you feel any better, on you. But
Speaker 5: I don't think there's anything that anybody can say or
Speaker 5: do to lower your anxiety, because I can say I
Speaker 5: had gift bags, I had a theme or whatever, and
Speaker 5: I had the most anxiety of my entire life leading
Speaker 5: up to this, Like there was nothing anyone could have
Speaker 5: said or done. There was no wedding advice I could
Speaker 5: have heard that would have lowered my anxiety at all.
Speaker 5: So I don't think there's anything you can do. You're
Speaker 5: just gonna have super high anxiety.
Speaker 1: I relate to you so much. It's on so many
Speaker 1: things like so, I just know I'll probably have a
Speaker 1: sleepless night too. And that's okay. It's all my life
Speaker 1: hearing you say it was the best night of your life.
Speaker 5: Yes, it's just worked out. And if it doesn't, then, uh,
Speaker 5: I don't know. I don't know what to tell you.
Speaker 5: If it doesn't, I don't know.
Speaker 3: It's not Brian's.
Speaker 5: It's a miracle. It's a miracle, all right.
Speaker 4: Final thought.
Speaker 3: Finally, here's my final thought. I can't wait to talk
Speaker 3: about Noah's experience with Tais would be there next episode.
Speaker 4: I know I'll have my mom, I'll be there to
Speaker 4: talk about it. I know you could come back.
Speaker 3: I'll listen to it.
Speaker 2: But I did look up. You said Kate's place is small.
Speaker 2: I'm thinking, what was I thinking inviting so many people.
Speaker 2: I said, it's hard to keep it small, and I said,
Speaker 2: people will make it work and sit inside if they
Speaker 2: have to. It's not that big of a deal. I
Speaker 2: know it feels like it is, but it's not. Everyone
Speaker 2: who's going has been to a million weddings. It's a
Speaker 2: big deal to you, and so you just make it
Speaker 2: fun for you. Everyone else it's just another event. Write
Speaker 2: them the morning of that's what I and you were
Speaker 2: worried about something else. I said, just write them the
Speaker 2: morning up. That's what I would one hundred percent do.
Speaker 2: Write them in the morning. I swear it will be fine.
Speaker 2: No one will remember them, oh the valves. Write them
Speaker 2: in the morning. No one will remember them if they
Speaker 2: are good or bad. There's no recording to revisit. I promise,
Speaker 2: Just write them in the morning, ask for time alone
Speaker 2: to do it. And that was my I never said
Speaker 2: they'll all get sick. But if you find that, I
Speaker 2: would love it. We'll put it on the Instagram.
Speaker 4: But I never said that.
Speaker 3: I just heard some sick stuff in there.
Speaker 1: I delete all my texts sadly.
Speaker 2: Well, I will go through it and and I will
Speaker 2: send you screenshots to prove that I never said that
Speaker 2: you delete all your texts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just there's incriminating stuff really sometimes yeah, thank
Speaker 1: god freely in texts, I'm like uncensored and then I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh I should delete that.
Speaker 3: Oh wows.
Speaker 5: On the other side, if you find the text, Vicky,
Speaker 5: and then you realize that it was even worse, Like
Speaker 5: you said, I hope everyone.
Speaker 1: Gets Can you search Anya and sick?
Speaker 2: I did, and it says and it's me saying, you know, well,
Speaker 2: we were talking it's so funny about the last time
Speaker 2: you guys went snowboarding.
Speaker 4: It said, because we were talking about like people who.
Speaker 2: We're watching the Ultimatum Queer edition, we're talking talking about
Speaker 2: someone who had been in a lesbian relationship and they're
Speaker 2: mainly in straight relationships, and one day in the lesbian relationship,
Speaker 2: they were.
Speaker 4: Just like, oh, I hate eating pussy. What am I
Speaker 4: even doing?
Speaker 2: And that was used as Annie was kind of saying,
Speaker 2: because that person's experience, it was kind of like proof
Speaker 2: that they were just doing that as like I want
Speaker 2: to be cool in lesbian for a while, but they
Speaker 2: really don't like pussy, or maybe it was about the
Speaker 2: person and that's what I said. I go, how many
Speaker 2: times have you been with a man and been disgusted
Speaker 2: and sick? Second by his genitalia? So that was the word.
Speaker 4: I was like, I know, it's more about the person.
Speaker 2: And then I just and then I referenced someone from
Speaker 2: a past of someone's we know, Oh god, it was
Speaker 2: a one.
Speaker 1: I just searched my message, and you know what came
Speaker 1: up me telling a friend of mine who was soothing
Speaker 1: me about marriage, how funny it was that Nikki had
Speaker 1: said to me, don't worry, babe, so many people are
Speaker 1: going to get sick. So somewhere I have this memory
Speaker 1: of something that may have never occurred, but it actually did.
Speaker 2: The only reason I don't think I would say that
Speaker 2: is not because it's not something I would. It's not
Speaker 2: because I'm like, I don't want people to think I'm
Speaker 2: rude that they're going to get sick. I just have
Speaker 2: that's not a train. You know how you know when
Speaker 2: you have not said something, Because Chris I even accused
Speaker 2: you of saying something recently and you were like, I
Speaker 2: would never say that, and I trusted that he didn't
Speaker 2: say it, because you know what you would say and
Speaker 2: wouldn't say it doesn't say it seems.
Speaker 1: Nicky because people will get sick, probably before.
Speaker 2: And I would never think that if people go to
Speaker 2: New York City. That's not even a thought that would
Speaker 2: ever occur to me, that people would get sick.
Speaker 1: No, this was not entertaining. Cut it all.
Speaker 2: I think it's entertaining.
Speaker 1: I remembered something that never occurred.
Speaker 3: A conversation, remembered something that didn't happen. What about Brian,
Speaker 3: do you want to finish the loop on those vows? Yeah?
Speaker 5: Please?
Speaker 1: Did you say the line that killed Nicky? I thought
Speaker 1: it was something else.
Speaker 2: Oh no, it's coming up.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: So I said, that's cool. How much you know about salmon?
Speaker 5: And you meant it? And that's when I knew I'd
Speaker 5: be talking you for the rest of my life about
Speaker 5: all sorts of fish, even con even cod. When the
Speaker 5: date ended and I walked back to my car, I
Speaker 5: looked up at the moon. I raised my fist and
Speaker 5: I audibly cheered, which is true. And then I did
Speaker 5: a little paragraph about the moon, and then I did
Speaker 5: my the reasons I love you part, which is pretty
Speaker 5: standard vow part, like Ali, I love the way you
Speaker 5: patiently listen to my endless rants. I love blah blah, blah,
Speaker 5: So I did all these I love.
Speaker 2: You do we want to hear those? Okay, yeah, this
Speaker 2: is like girl stuff. Okay, this swoon hard at the
Speaker 2: details that you like, the little things we don't like
Speaker 2: about ourselves or whatever.
Speaker 5: I love the way you patiently listen to my endless rants.
Speaker 5: I love the way you are unconditionally supportive of me,
Speaker 5: even though I'm an unemployed comedian. I love your kindness
Speaker 5: and your optimism, your undying loyalty, and the sincere joy
Speaker 5: with which you travel through life. I love how much
Speaker 5: time you take taking things out of bags and putting
Speaker 5: them into smaller bags.
Speaker 4: That was like an inside joke.
Speaker 5: That was cute.
Speaker 2: I don't even know what that means, what that looks like.
Speaker 5: Whenever she we're on a trip, she's like, oh, I
Speaker 5: got to move this this from this bag into another
Speaker 5: bag and then put that into a different bag. She's
Speaker 5: going to takes so much time and like, can you
Speaker 5: just leave everything in a big bag?
Speaker 4: So do you really like that about her?
Speaker 2: Because this is the thing about vows that bugs me
Speaker 2: is when people will say things like I love when
Speaker 2: you like get little like some food by the side
Speaker 2: of your mouth when you chew loudly, and it's like, well,
Speaker 2: this is gonna be a reason you divorce them, and
Speaker 2: you're just trying to be cute right now. And actually
Speaker 2: you're allowed to not like things about people.
Speaker 5: When you love them. You that those little things are
Speaker 5: the things that you wind the you don't love. No,
Speaker 5: I think those little things are the for me. It's
Speaker 5: like those are those are the little things. I'm like, yes,
Speaker 5: this would be annoying if I hated you, but because
Speaker 5: I love you, those are the little things I think
Speaker 5: I would miss. Like it's it's like what you were
Speaker 5: saying about, like like, uh, there's a that joke you
Speaker 5: said on one of the previous podcast episodes in the
Speaker 5: last three weeks where it's like, oh my oh the
Speaker 5: hat thing, like at the drop of.
Speaker 2: Like, oh he wore hats.
Speaker 3: He wore hats.
Speaker 5: So it's like that with the little bags. I'd be
Speaker 5: like if I if Ali and I broke up or
Speaker 5: something and I saw someone like, oh my god, all
Speaker 5: he always did the little bags thing.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 2: It's like that if chrisal little bags, you'd be like,
Speaker 2: she has those under her eyes. It's like one of
Speaker 2: those Barney's bags. It's like medium bag yeah.
Speaker 5: And it's also he could tease each other about, like
Speaker 5: I love how you're I love how you always fill
Speaker 5: the water picture up too much and you simply refuse
Speaker 5: to admit it's filled too high, no matter how many
Speaker 5: times it spills out the top all over the counter,
Speaker 5: which is something. And you don't cook except for when
Speaker 5: you microwave eggs.
Speaker 6: And so got an audible groan from people like how
Speaker 6: could she? I was like, no, that sounds like a
Speaker 6: great idea, And so I never did get someone who'll
Speaker 6: ask me what I want for dinner. It's more like
Speaker 6: what are you making me for dinner tonight?
Speaker 5: Which is fine because I make an absolutely incredible salmon
Speaker 5: that is as good as advertised.
Speaker 1: In fact, I'm just taking notes, Yeah, I really am.
Speaker 5: The question is better because it's not about the salmon.
Speaker 5: It was never about the salmon. It's that now I
Speaker 5: finally have someone to cook for who loves me.
Speaker 1: Oh that was the line.
Speaker 4: That was the line that like fucking.
Speaker 5: Man, because I couldn't get through it. I couldn't get
Speaker 5: through that line. Now that it's over, you do at
Speaker 5: any time, but saying like I.
Speaker 2: Just you know what you were saying there is like
Speaker 2: I found someone who like loves me like that just
Speaker 2: that like someone being vulnerable enough to admit that they
Speaker 2: didn't think they would find someone because in that line,
Speaker 2: you're saying, like I thought maybe no one would ever
Speaker 2: love me, and like I found someone who loves me.
Speaker 2: And it's just it was a vulnerable thing for a
Speaker 2: guy to say that he just wants to be loved.
Speaker 4: And to be like cared about it. It was like
Speaker 4: really gay.
Speaker 5: The line before it.
Speaker 2: Was so vulnerable and like, but it's true, I mean,
Speaker 2: and that That's what I loved about it was because
Speaker 2: it was just so honest. The reason I could, oh,
Speaker 2: you actually see it?
Speaker 5: Well, the reason I couldn't get through it is because
Speaker 5: when I was writing this, that was like a revelation
Speaker 5: to me, Like why was it that on our first
Speaker 5: date I talked about cooking salmon for forty five minutes.
Speaker 5: I didn't connect that with me saying to you Nikki
Speaker 5: earlier that I just want someone who asked me what
Speaker 5: I want for dinner. I and I realized while writing this,
Speaker 5: I was like, the reason why this is so important
Speaker 5: to me is because I wasn't asked. I wasn't talking
Speaker 5: to her about this salmon because I wanted to tell
Speaker 5: brag about how I could cook salmon or something. I
Speaker 5: was doing it because subconsciously, I was like, I want
Speaker 5: to be able to cook dinner for you. I want
Speaker 5: someone to share this with. And I realized that while
Speaker 5: writing the vows, and that's why I couldn't get through
Speaker 5: without crying. And then maybe it was really got me.
Speaker 3: It was awesome. She really she really does. Yes, I
Speaker 3: mean I think she.
Speaker 2: Loves him so much. So sweet they are. I have
Speaker 2: no question that you'll be together forever and ever, like
Speaker 2: and I wouldn't. I would just say nothing because who
Speaker 2: needs to say that when people get married. But let's
Speaker 2: be honest, fifty percent of marriages and didn't divorce you.
Speaker 3: Most times you're sitting at weddings and being like, I'm
Speaker 3: in somebody's backyard in New York.
Speaker 2: These people aren't gonna make it, no way, they're not
Speaker 2: gonna be They're just so perfect. Oh you're doing audio well. Anya.
Speaker 2: I know I've known they were gonna be together forever,
Speaker 2: since forever, but yeah, it was just everyone got it there.
Speaker 2: It was so nice.
Speaker 4: And your dad and Ali's dad are the same place.
Speaker 5: Yes, Oh my god, you guys.
Speaker 2: He gave a speech, and then Ali's dad gave a speech,
Speaker 2: and then your dad gave a speech, And I go, why.
Speaker 4: Is Ally's dad back up there? Because it was they
Speaker 4: were pacing the same way. They both are lanky, tall men.
Speaker 2: Yes, and as someone with a lanky, tall dad, I
Speaker 2: get it too, And yeah, it was really and their
Speaker 2: speeches were so sweet and thoughtful about you. And then yeah,
Speaker 2: the best man speech was hilarious. And did he say
Speaker 2: anything that made you super embarrassed and you were worried
Speaker 2: about because you were pretty worried before that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I was worried. But no, nothing, Everything was great.
Speaker 5: I mean there was some yeah, there were actually Ali's
Speaker 5: dad said some things that I was like, what how
Speaker 5: did he even know that about us? That we were embarrassed?
Speaker 5: But the best man's speech and Rob's speech were so great.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Rob's speech was so good.
Speaker 5: Yeah. And then and Ali's sister did a speech too,
Speaker 5: and she actually yes, she said.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and she said some sweets.
Speaker 5: She told the story, the real story of how Ali
Speaker 5: and I got together, which I'm glad somebody mentioned it
Speaker 5: because yes, I you know, Golden scissored it out of
Speaker 5: the vows But the truth is is that Ali and
Speaker 5: I went on a first date. I thought she was
Speaker 5: the love of my life. I thought we were gonna
Speaker 5: be together forever. And then we had a second date
Speaker 5: set up, and right the day before or two days
Speaker 5: before the date, I get a text from Ali saying,
Speaker 5: I hate to do this, but I need to cancel
Speaker 5: our date. An old flame has re emerged unexpectedly and
Speaker 5: I'm going to give it a shot with him.
Speaker 4: So I've sent that text to a lot of guys.
Speaker 1: Over the years.
Speaker 5: So we didn't, well, we didn't go on that second date,
Speaker 5: and then I went insane. I was so upset, and
Speaker 5: I went on dates with like thirty to forty different
Speaker 5: women over the next three months. I went crazy. Date
Speaker 5: I was doing three dates a night, I was doing
Speaker 5: I was just trying to find someone that would be
Speaker 5: as good as Ali. And about four months passed and
Speaker 5: then I just I just had a feeling. I just
Speaker 5: had a feeling, because I had a feeling that when
Speaker 5: someone sends a text like that, an old flame re
Speaker 5: emerges from the past. I was like, that's not going
Speaker 5: to last. So I texted Alley out of the blue,
Speaker 5: and like four months later, and I said hey, because
Speaker 5: I never even responded to her cancel text. I was
Speaker 5: so sad I didn't even respond. So the text chain
Speaker 5: is just per sting that text and then four.
Speaker 2: Months Actually it is a great move because I'd be like,
Speaker 2: this guy's pissed, yeah, and like and he's so sad
Speaker 2: and like he's not being understanding of it. He doesn't
Speaker 2: want to wish me well with this guy, because a
Speaker 2: lot of times we'll go like, I just want you
Speaker 2: to be happy, and I really hope and it's like, no,
Speaker 2: you don't. You're not happy about this, be honest, Like
Speaker 2: leaving like that, that's a good move.
Speaker 5: I thought.
Speaker 1: I thought I was dumb to loose end.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I thought I was done looking and I went
Speaker 5: I looked at the moon and I fist pumped because
Speaker 5: I was like, I'm done. I don't have to do
Speaker 5: this anymore. I found her, and then the cancelation was
Speaker 5: such a blow. I almost like I was working on
Speaker 5: a show at the time and I walked into the
Speaker 5: showrunner's office. I didn't even know the guy I was
Speaker 5: I had, I had no relationship with him, and I said,
Speaker 5: can I just be in here? And he was like okay,
Speaker 5: and I just sat in his office and I poured
Speaker 5: my heart out. Greg tou gilesco it couldn't make it
Speaker 5: to the wedding, but he wanted to be there, and like,
Speaker 5: I just poured my heart out to him about how
Speaker 5: sad this was and uh, and I really was devastated,
Speaker 5: and I went crazy. I went on crazy dating mode.
Speaker 5: I went on so many dates that year it was absurd.
Speaker 5: Four months later, four I did I text. I text
Speaker 5: her out of the blue and I say, hey, I
Speaker 5: really thought I had a great time on our date.
Speaker 5: I really thought we had a connection, and I just
Speaker 5: wanted to see that if by any chance, you and
Speaker 5: your own flame didn't work out. Yeah, And she texted
Speaker 5: back and she said, as a matter of fact, it
Speaker 5: did not. And it just so happens they had officially
Speaker 5: officially broken up the week before. Oh my god. And
Speaker 5: then we went on a second date. And then I
Speaker 5: was game over for Ali, because not only was she
Speaker 5: like I had the hand because she canceled, but I
Speaker 5: had been going on all these dates. I was like
Speaker 5: I had seen the matrix of dating. I could get
Speaker 5: away with anything on dates. And so I was running
Speaker 5: circles around how are you nervous? Not nervous by the
Speaker 5: time I went out. The first time I went out Ali,
Speaker 5: I was so nervous. I talked about salmon for forty
Speaker 5: five minutes.
Speaker 3: But the second time I went out Alley, I was like,
Speaker 3: there is no groundhog Dad, Yes, yes, exactly need Ryerson.
Speaker 5: The second time I went out Ali, I was like,
Speaker 5: I am one percent in control. I am dodging bullets
Speaker 5: left and right. I am jumping through portals and I
Speaker 5: really do I can honestly say, I fucking world. Man.
Speaker 2: I feel like there are gonna be guys listening being like,
Speaker 2: what was the secret to like being so bulletproof on
Speaker 2: a date?
Speaker 4: And it's probably just a repetition.
Speaker 5: Right, It is rejection. Get rejected one hundred times in man,
Speaker 5: and then you will you will lose all fear. And
Speaker 5: I was just there. I used to say, like if
Speaker 5: if a girl, if there's a chance that a girl
Speaker 5: likes me on a date, it's up to me whether
Speaker 5: or not we're gonna make out at the end of
Speaker 5: the day, Like I'm not going to mess this up. WHOA,
Speaker 5: I'm not gonna There's nothing I'm gonna do to mess
Speaker 5: it up.
Speaker 3: If she does pick up art, if she doesn't.
Speaker 5: Like me, then she doesn't like me. There's nothing you
Speaker 5: can do about it. But if she likes me at all,
Speaker 5: then I'm not going to do anything to mess it up.
Speaker 5: I can make out with this person.
Speaker 4: Wow, it's so crazy to give up that skill.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 3: I want to sysitter with Brian one night and I
Speaker 3: made out because I didn't have a choice.
Speaker 1: Brian, he approved our theory that a man will always
Speaker 1: pursue if he's interested enough, even if it's four months later,
Speaker 1: even if we have sent them a text.
Speaker 2: Point Anya to every girl listening who's like, is he
Speaker 2: into me?
Speaker 1: Did he?
Speaker 4: If he is, he will fuck? Did he lose my number? Maybe?
Speaker 1: I do not take my own advice.
Speaker 2: No, of course not.
Speaker 5: No, I did not for at.
Speaker 1: Full speed. I have chased after.
Speaker 2: Why didn't Allie write back to you? Did you ever
Speaker 2: get like after it ended? Was she still thinking about you?
Speaker 2: Did you ever get answers on that.
Speaker 5: I didn't text her?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 5: She says she was. I think she was. She never lies, so.
Speaker 2: I wonder she's probably one of those girls like you know,
Speaker 2: lighton Measter whatever. When we were listening to where it
Speaker 2: was like she was just like we I mean, just
Speaker 2: so like I do think about you all the time,
Speaker 2: but I'm just like gonna wait, like what the fuck.
Speaker 1: She's probably still like not licking her wounds, but like
Speaker 1: processing that breakup. And then it's only been a week
Speaker 1: and she's like, well, Brian never wrote me back.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she said she was so happy. She was so
Speaker 5: happy when I texted her.
Speaker 4: Oh, cutie.
Speaker 2: I wish I had footage of her receiving that text.
Speaker 2: That's always when I want in people's lives, is those
Speaker 2: moments where they're like, like I always went the footage.
Speaker 3: I wonder if she yelled at the moon, Oh my god,
Speaker 3: American tale.
Speaker 2: The only time I've ever yelled at the moon was
Speaker 2: when Obama got elected. The night he got elected, what
Speaker 2: you say? I was, I was alone and I was
Speaker 2: going back to my apartment. I parked my car and
Speaker 2: I was walking into my apartment building across the street,
Speaker 2: and all of a sudden, and it had just been
Speaker 2: announced on NP.
Speaker 4: I was listening to the radio and it had just
Speaker 4: been announced. It was happening.
Speaker 2: Everyone else was at parties. I was like alone, I
Speaker 2: don't know why, coming back from a show. And then
Speaker 2: a gust of wind like the Santa Ana winds. It
Speaker 2: was like whsh And I just looked up, not at
Speaker 2: the moon, but at the.
Speaker 4: Sky, and I go the winds of change.
Speaker 2: And I stood in the middle of the street and
Speaker 2: paused and said the winds of change to myself. And
Speaker 2: I was like, I'll never forget saying that to myself.
Speaker 2: And I also recently we got to go, oh, yeah.
Speaker 3: It's great. I don't even know that song Wind's a change,
Speaker 3: but I did get it.
Speaker 2: There are times where I catch myself doing things alone
Speaker 2: that I'm like, this is hilarious. And I didn't do
Speaker 2: it to later tell a story about it, right, but
Speaker 2: it needs to be told because it's so funny. But
Speaker 2: I was watching The Gang recent born and the girl
Speaker 2: took so much during it. After I was done, I
Speaker 2: set down my phone and I just go, thank you
Speaker 2: for your service.
Speaker 4: I literally said that.
Speaker 2: I didn't started laughing so hard because I didn't intend
Speaker 2: to be funny at all.
Speaker 4: I really meant it, like, thank you for what you
Speaker 4: just gave me, because that was rough.
Speaker 5: Girl.
Speaker 4: She was not able to do that for another year
Speaker 4: or so. What she did that was a olypiic style. Okay,
Speaker 4: so we gotta go thank you guys.
Speaker 2: So much. Thank you for your service, thank you for
Speaker 2: listening to the show. We love you so much. Lots
Speaker 2: of tour dates coming up. You can go to Nicki
Speaker 2: Glazer dot com. I'm with David Spade this weekend in
Speaker 2: Las Vegas. If you want to plan a last minute trip,
Speaker 2: just look at flights. Come to see US Venetian and
Speaker 2: then yeah, tons of tour dates. I wish I had
Speaker 2: them all listed, but they're at nicky Glazer dot com.
Speaker 2: I love seeing you on the road. Anny's getting married
Speaker 2: next week. We'll have a new show for you tomorrow,
Speaker 2: and jumpik and just don't worry because your friends are
Speaker 2: gonna get sick.