Speaker 1: The folks. In this episode, Robes and I adopt a
Speaker 1: new morning routine. Too bad it involves her sleeping alone
Speaker 1: for the last two hours of the morning. Also, are
Speaker 1: we the only ones out there who've been binging season
Speaker 1: one of House of the Dragon like crazy people in
Speaker 1: the past few days? And what did you get your
Speaker 1: dad for Father's Day? Survey says it was probably alcohol.
Speaker 1: Plus minutes ago, Robes and I both got off the
Speaker 1: phone with our dads and we asked them the advice
Speaker 1: they'd want us to pass along to you all and
Speaker 1: all dads in this episode. And with that, Welcome to
Speaker 1: this episode of Amy and TJ. Robes sitting across a
Speaker 1: table from me this time and not in studio. We
Speaker 1: were recording on Father's Day at our dining room table.
Speaker 1: So a little different today.
Speaker 2: That's right, And Happy Father's Day, TJ Ah, thank you
Speaker 2: for that.
Speaker 1: Weird I say it's a weird day because it's just
Speaker 1: I don't feel like there's anything else extra that needs
Speaker 1: to be done.
Speaker 3: Well, no, I think that's very humble and sweet of you,
Speaker 3: But it always does feel like that when you're you
Speaker 3: don't want to set expectations, but you're also appreciative of anything,
Speaker 3: or really just I don't know. Do you what do
Speaker 3: you think of Father's Day? Do you think it's warranted?
Speaker 3: Do you think it's needed?
Speaker 1: I don't, I don't know. I'm not a It is weird.
Speaker 1: We're going to get into it at the to close
Speaker 1: it out when we talk about advice from our dads.
Speaker 1: But it feels so different from Mother's Day. Like Father's Day,
Speaker 1: they both feel like duties. But you feel like if
Speaker 1: you don't fulfill your duty on Father's Day, he's not
Speaker 1: gonna mind.
Speaker 2: Right, there's a higher expectation set around moms. You gotta
Speaker 2: you gotta take care of mom. There's no question, there's
Speaker 2: no question.
Speaker 3: And honestly, the sad thing is, or I don't know,
Speaker 3: just the reality of it is. The financials back that
Speaker 3: up because we were looking. It's very apparent and not
Speaker 3: even up for debate. Americans spend billions of dollars more
Speaker 3: on their moms than they do on their dads every year,
Speaker 3: and we're spending more and more each year, but the
Speaker 3: ratio remains the same. Moms just get about almost one
Speaker 3: hundred dollars more in gifts or whatever per person when
Speaker 3: you're whatever you're allotting towards these days, moms get the
Speaker 3: lion's share for sure, without question.
Speaker 1: I don't know, what'd you get your dad for a
Speaker 1: father's name?
Speaker 3: Well, this was pretty funny, so I know the full proof. No,
Speaker 3: like it's always going to land as if I get
Speaker 3: my dad alcohol. So he loves wine, he loves fine wine,
Speaker 3: he loves champagne.
Speaker 2: So this year I got champagne.
Speaker 3: I got a rose, and I got a brute, and
Speaker 3: I got a really pretty champagne bucket to go along
Speaker 3: with it. And sure enough, I already got a picture
Speaker 3: saying thank you.
Speaker 2: But then I looked.
Speaker 3: Online and apparently we are twice as like to send
Speaker 3: our father's alcohol as we are our mother. So that
Speaker 3: is one of the big gifts, apparently that we give
Speaker 3: our dads because we know it'll get used and it
Speaker 3: will be enjoyed.
Speaker 1: For the most part, it's easy, you know, right, Just
Speaker 1: guys don't get the same don't get the same attention.
Speaker 1: That's okay, Yeah, I think that's completely warranted. But just
Speaker 1: wait as fall as they comes along, and what do
Speaker 1: you want to do? And you guys do that. No,
Speaker 1: I'm doing the same thing we always do I'm hanging
Speaker 1: with my girls on Sunday, but I always do. I'm
Speaker 1: always with you. Me and Sabine run around somewhere, were
Speaker 1: going to lunch outside. It's the same. The day is
Speaker 1: not different in the least bit. It doesn't feel different.
Speaker 1: And maybe that is a good sign.
Speaker 3: So well, oh, I know, but you should feel special though,
Speaker 3: I think, Yeah, it's nice to feel the love.
Speaker 2: Sabine's coming over.
Speaker 1: She's on her way to make me feel special tomorrow.
Speaker 2: I want to make you feel special every day.
Speaker 1: Okay, then today's not a biggie. I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: feel if somebody nobody said to me, be Father's Day
Speaker 1: and it didn't acknowledge.
Speaker 2: Really, I don't even know if I would notice. Oh,
Speaker 2: it would bother me.
Speaker 3: It would bother me if no one said happy mothers.
Speaker 1: Would it only bother you?
Speaker 2: If the girl, oh yeah, I don't need anyone else
Speaker 2: to say it.
Speaker 3: Yes, but I would hope that at the very least
Speaker 3: you'd get a hey, happy Mother's Day.
Speaker 2: I appreciate you, thank you for all that you do for.
Speaker 1: Me morning and yeah, so me and actually she was.
Speaker 1: She sent a text after midnight like why are you
Speaker 1: why are you in your room texting. She wanted to
Speaker 1: make sure she was.
Speaker 2: That's really sweet.
Speaker 3: Can I laugh though, because remember on Mother's Day I
Speaker 3: got annoyed that you were saying whatever you want, it's
Speaker 3: what do you want to do? And I was like,
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't want to make it up. I
Speaker 3: don't want to have to I don't want the pressure
Speaker 3: of that. So today I was just joking a couple
Speaker 3: of times. Today's your day.
Speaker 2: I said that. I texted that scene, and what did
Speaker 2: you expect to me?
Speaker 1: Look it up?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you had a very strong response to me, saying,
Speaker 3: I said, today is your day, whatever you want to do.
Speaker 3: And I believe you said if you say that to
Speaker 3: me one more explitive time.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm are.
Speaker 2: You looking it up?
Speaker 3: Maybe let's yeah, let's get the actual verbatim of what
Speaker 3: you sent back to me.
Speaker 1: It's your day, you can do what. Okay, I'm just reading.
Speaker 1: I'm just going to read this filter. Okay, you said
Speaker 1: to me it's your day, you can do whatever you
Speaker 1: want walking out from my place at eleven something. Okay,
Speaker 1: that was actually something else, So okay, there it is.
Speaker 1: You said, it's your day, you can do whatever you want.
Speaker 1: My response was say, that shit one more time and
Speaker 1: you'll be sorry.
Speaker 3: Okay, little insight, you can do. Yes, we have a
Speaker 3: very playful relationship.
Speaker 1: But you know, the funny thing is that text exchange
Speaker 1: was at six twenty a film.
Speaker 2: And how long have you already been up? I was gone,
Speaker 2: you were gone two hours. We spent the night.
Speaker 3: We spend pretty much every night together. It's a rare
Speaker 3: thing if we don't. But yes, you're already out of
Speaker 3: the apartment and doing your thing where we have to
Speaker 3: text each other back and forth at six twenty in
Speaker 3: the morning.
Speaker 2: Welcome to my life.
Speaker 1: Okay, this this has changed a little bit. I mentioned
Speaker 1: our morning routine, but it's only changed because of the weather.
Speaker 1: And it's changed because the weather is just glorious in
Speaker 1: New York right now in mornings and nights are absolutely stunning.
Speaker 1: We're talking mid sixties or even warmer at low six
Speaker 1: in the morning and then at seven, eight, nine o'clock
Speaker 1: at night. And for me that's a big deal because
Speaker 1: I ride my bike through the well.
Speaker 3: You say a bike, motorcycle, not a city bike. You
Speaker 3: won't be caught dead on a city bike. Let's just
Speaker 3: make that really clear. You want a bike actually sounds funny.
Speaker 1: Blue isn't my color. That's why I don't ride city
Speaker 1: bikes anyway. Right, But now that this is the case,
Speaker 1: I like to get up and ride, take a ride
Speaker 1: on the motorcycle in the morning or at night. And
Speaker 1: morning is great because you get the city to yourself. Anybody,
Speaker 1: if you live here, if I say to you you're
Speaker 1: going to go from the Financial District to Central Park,
Speaker 1: you start thinking, Okay, which train don't need to take?
Speaker 1: Take the cars going to take me forty five minutes?
Speaker 1: It really does. In the morning when there's no traffic
Speaker 1: out when I'm out riding, it takes me twelve to
Speaker 1: fifteen minutes to get from Lower Manhattan to Central Park,
Speaker 1: straight shot, no traffic. And I love it.
Speaker 2: That's remarkable. I know, I love it.
Speaker 3: And now you're having so much fun coming back down
Speaker 3: through Times Square. So now you're riding the motorcycle times
Speaker 3: Square and you've got the whole place to yourself.
Speaker 1: So if anybody yet, if you're in Times Square at
Speaker 1: you know, six ish, and you see a streak going
Speaker 1: through a white bike, leather jacket, white black helmet, that's me.
Speaker 2: And you said you got every green light. That's so again,
Speaker 2: something that's remarkable.
Speaker 1: I went from Times Square to Lower Manhattan without missing
Speaker 1: a light.
Speaker 2: That never happens.
Speaker 1: It just doesn't happen. So anyway, that's our new morning.
Speaker 1: But I've come been coming back to your place and
Speaker 1: I message you and say, hey, can you make me tea?
Speaker 1: And the first couple of times I did that, You're like,
Speaker 1: what the hell is going on?
Speaker 2: There's me tea? I was like, what right? And now
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 3: I jumped up, got your tea, my coffee. We sit
Speaker 3: out on my balcony and you've got your motorcycle gear.
Speaker 3: But yeah, it's kind of like a part two to
Speaker 3: the morning because you leave. I mean you leave as
Speaker 3: early as five fifteen sometimes and you're up since four
Speaker 3: waiting for me to wake up, which does not happen.
Speaker 3: But I've enjoyed it too, because while you're off experiencing
Speaker 3: the city on your own, I get an extra hour
Speaker 3: of sleep, and I'm grateful for that because no, I mean,
Speaker 3: like I think I'm a six thirty seven am kind
Speaker 3: of gal, You're just a four am kind of guy.
Speaker 3: So yeah, that's a great way to spend the time
Speaker 3: where I would be sleeping and you'd be anxious, like
Speaker 3: when is you waking up?
Speaker 2: Now you get to ride your bikes.
Speaker 1: It's fun. And then I get it's stun I can
Speaker 1: see you. But the funniest one was the morning I
Speaker 1: messaged and said, can you make me tea? And I
Speaker 1: think you wanted to have it. You were trying to
Speaker 1: fool me, maybe into thinking you were already up moving around,
Speaker 1: and you weren't. So I have a key, I will
Speaker 1: come into the place. You apparently had just seen the message. Yes,
Speaker 1: and I'm not kidding. I walk in. You don't know
Speaker 1: I'm in the play. I walk in. I'm coming to
Speaker 1: the back. You had seen the message. I didn't know.
Speaker 1: But I walk in and you are doing You are
Speaker 1: jumping up and down, trying to get tights on.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, my leggings, my run. I think we were
Speaker 2: going to go running later, so I trying to get
Speaker 2: my run. You're on.
Speaker 1: You were trying to get dressed to get the teenage.
Speaker 1: So I come in. I just see naked white cheeks
Speaker 1: jumping you.
Speaker 3: You gave me no lead time to get the tea ready,
Speaker 3: I was like. And then there was the other morning,
Speaker 3: plenty of time. There was the other morning where I
Speaker 3: didn't get the text because I was sleeping and you were.
Speaker 2: You stood over the bed, and funny enough, I didn't
Speaker 2: even freak out. I was like, oh hey, but you
Speaker 2: would think someone would scream, but nope.
Speaker 1: I'm enjoying our new morning routine.
Speaker 2: It's been great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, our afternoon routine and kind of we haven't gotten
Speaker 1: this yet, but we can't be the only ones. Isn't
Speaker 1: everybody doing this? If you loved House of the Dragon
Speaker 1: or HBO the first season, which is now seems like
Speaker 1: it was what twenty eight, it.
Speaker 2: Was two years ago, two years ago.
Speaker 1: So the new season's coming dropping on Father's Day and
Speaker 1: we are trying to get caught up.
Speaker 3: Yes, and it's very you know, it's complicated. It's like
Speaker 3: Game of Thrones, and that's part of what I think
Speaker 3: the love of it is that if you're in it,
Speaker 3: you're in it.
Speaker 2: You know all the details.
Speaker 3: You know that, you know all of the different houses
Speaker 3: and the fighting factions, but then you forget because it
Speaker 3: is so complicated. So we're trying to refresh our memory
Speaker 3: leading up to because you know what, there aren't many
Speaker 3: things where you actually get excited about watching something live.
Speaker 3: Game of Thrones was like that for me. House the
Speaker 3: Dragon was like that for us because we did watch
Speaker 3: it two years ago. I think it was our first
Speaker 3: show we watched together, right, were we watching it? Like
Speaker 3: we had moments where we got to watch show together.
Speaker 1: Really might be the first show we watched together.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so we were actually getting to watch that, and
Speaker 3: now we get to see the second season, which is
Speaker 3: super exciting. But yes, there is some catching up to do.
Speaker 3: We're not there yet. It's nine o'clock tonight, Eastern time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you know it's weird on this because I mean,
Speaker 1: anybody's familiar with the game with their ownes world, Like,
Speaker 1: there's some pretty harsh, violent and I mean even dark
Speaker 1: themes and if you're trying to binge that. I said yesterday,
Speaker 1: we need a break, right, you know we were.
Speaker 3: I was like ready for the second, you know, we
Speaker 3: started watching and he was like, it's really it's a
Speaker 3: beautiful day outside. It's like eighty one degrees and sunny.
Speaker 3: This feels really heavy and dark, and you weren't wrong.
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, it is one of those things
Speaker 3: where it might be more fun to watch on a
Speaker 3: winter's night or you know, a stormy evening on an
Speaker 3: eighty one sunny glorious day in Manhattan. It feels wrong
Speaker 3: to be watching How the Dragon but trying really hard
Speaker 3: to catch up for tonight.
Speaker 1: We'll get there, we will. But this is again we're
Speaker 1: recording on on Father's Day here and we, like I said,
Speaker 1: we just got off the phone with our dads. But
Speaker 1: it's I did. I'll ask you what you guys your
Speaker 1: dad for Father's Day. I didn't get my dad anything.
Speaker 1: I couldn't tell you the last year that I did.
Speaker 1: But I make sure mama gets flowers. Right? Why are
Speaker 1: we do that right? Why do we feel that kind
Speaker 1: of that difference between that affection or that there's just
Speaker 1: something sweeter about the relationship almost with the with the
Speaker 1: mom that boys and girls feel like you need to shower.
Speaker 2: It was interesting.
Speaker 3: You looked up just to be like, it was just
Speaker 3: a fascinating thing to see what reservations we could get
Speaker 3: for brunch for Father's Day. And apparently we can go
Speaker 3: anywhere at any time because the reservations are wide open.
Speaker 3: And we laughed, because anyone everyone knows Mother's Day.
Speaker 2: Quite the opposite.
Speaker 3: If you haven't planned ahead of time to get brunch
Speaker 3: at your favorite spot, you will not be attending it.
Speaker 3: Just isn't gonna happen, because that's the first thing everyone
Speaker 3: goes and does.
Speaker 2: But you made a good point.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you read it or you thought
Speaker 3: about it, but I think most families. Everyone's different, obviously,
Speaker 3: but most families there is the role of the mother,
Speaker 3: and the mother is the one who's cooking and cleaning
Speaker 3: and doing a lot of the nurturing. So yes, to
Speaker 3: take her out where she doesn't have to cook, she
Speaker 3: doesn't have to clean. That makes a lot of sense,
Speaker 3: whereas most people don't think of fathers in that way.
Speaker 3: But you are an exception. You you cook ninety eight
Speaker 3: percent of our meals, and I imagine that's been the case,
Speaker 3: maybe ninety nine percent.
Speaker 2: Okay, I cooked a meal on Friday night. I get say.
Speaker 2: The thing is, you're look have been.
Speaker 3: I have been cooking meals for my family for the
Speaker 3: last two decades and they didn't have another choice. So
Speaker 3: I always felt like I was a pretty decent cook.
Speaker 3: But you're you're amazing, and so now I'm intimidated. I've
Speaker 3: said this like, oh, yours is better than mine, But
Speaker 3: every now and then I'll step up and it's okay,
Speaker 3: it's good, it's good.
Speaker 1: You're not. We talked about this enough, but I hope
Speaker 1: nobody's getting the impression that you are a bad suggestion.
Speaker 3: But you're just You're exceptional. Like your eggs. You learn
Speaker 3: from Gordon Ramsay, so like I've never tasted better eggs.
Speaker 3: Like we've yet to taste eggs better than the ones
Speaker 3: you cook. And you learned from the best.
Speaker 1: And we should say I didn't read his cookbook, I
Speaker 1: didn't look up anything online. I was in his house
Speaker 1: in La and he showed me how to make these eggs.
Speaker 1: And it's been out there. People know his his egg
Speaker 1: but I have done it for years and years now
Speaker 1: to where I we won't say what restaurant, but it
Speaker 1: was a restaurant that.
Speaker 2: Had fabulous scrambled eggs.
Speaker 1: I hope we don't give them away because that is
Speaker 1: the exact name of the item on their menu. They
Speaker 1: were not fabulous. That was tough.
Speaker 3: And then you said, if we were to ever open
Speaker 3: a restaurant, what you would name your scrambled egg dish
Speaker 3: on our menu?
Speaker 1: They would be called I learned these from Gordon Ramsey
Speaker 1: Eggs to being honest about it, get it.
Speaker 3: Credit needs to be given where it's due. And yes
Speaker 3: it involves crumb fresh. We'll just say that. It's I
Speaker 3: never imagine because I always put cheese in my eggs
Speaker 3: and like, and you don't need anything other than salt, pepper.
Speaker 2: Pem fresh and butter. Butter. You do need butter and
Speaker 2: then the scallions on the.
Speaker 1: If anybody out there you make scrambled eggs, if your
Speaker 1: eggs are ready in less than a minute, you're not
Speaker 1: doing it right. And that's how I grew up seeing
Speaker 1: scrambled eggs being made. You just throw them, suckles in there,
Speaker 1: whip it up, and you're good to go. These these
Speaker 1: take time, They take effort, and they take a lot
Speaker 1: of stirring on and off the aisle. And again it's
Speaker 1: out there. This is not some secret he I think
Speaker 1: there's an instructional video out there about it.
Speaker 2: But they are so good.
Speaker 1: How do we get on this? We were talking about, well, we.
Speaker 2: Were talking about so the brunch reservations.
Speaker 3: We were talking so now like today it's why where
Speaker 3: every and we were just like, why is that? And
Speaker 3: I think just traditionally more women, but you deserve a
Speaker 3: lovely brunch. But we're going to the movies, which is
Speaker 3: actually funny enough what I.
Speaker 2: Did on Mother's Day? You came to a rom com.
Speaker 1: Yeah, loved it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was an action And do you want to
Speaker 3: reveal the movie that you were going to?
Speaker 1: No, we're going to or the one going Yeah this
Speaker 1: is okay, this is a this is a Sabine thing.
Speaker 1: This is a Sabine. Yes, this is a Sabine. Was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we gotta go. It was one because you and I
Speaker 1: any movie. We were talking about the Ryan Gosling and
Speaker 1: we want a fall Guy fall Gout, but we just
Speaker 1: don't go to the theater unless it's a horror movie.
Speaker 1: So if anybody suggests to me they want to go
Speaker 1: to the theater and see anything other than I'm like,
Speaker 1: not really, I'm not interested, And so I wouldn't have
Speaker 1: gone to see any of this. But now this is
Speaker 1: one Sabine and I gotta do our thing.
Speaker 3: Okay, That's why I'm excited. A lot of dads in there,
Speaker 3: didn't you say funny enough? It seemed like there were
Speaker 3: a lot of people going to the movies because that
Speaker 3: might be something that you're comfortable going to your dad with,
Speaker 3: just sitting in a dark theater and not talking.
Speaker 1: But that's say that and that is kind of and
Speaker 1: I get it. We just have different relationships. Sabine was
Speaker 1: even messaging me and she said, yeah, there's this is
Speaker 1: gonna be a lot of dudes sitting on the couch
Speaker 1: and enjoying that liquor that they were bought for a
Speaker 1: Father's Day. I think that mindset, but it's just I
Speaker 1: don't know that the day doesn't feel different. But yes,
Speaker 1: dads are incredibly important. We just talked to our dads
Speaker 1: and we talked about the money spent, right, you gave
Speaker 1: that number already for the difference and the money we spend.
Speaker 1: There's a difference in the amount of revenue. Almost doubles
Speaker 1: in terms of the amount of revenue increase on Mother's
Speaker 1: Day for restaurants versus Father's Day. And it is remarkable
Speaker 1: to go on to Rezi or open table and party
Speaker 1: of three for today. We got any anywhere you wanted.
Speaker 3: It was crazy like probably maybe even more so than
Speaker 3: any other random Sunday.
Speaker 2: I don't know what.
Speaker 3: What would be a perfect Father's Day for you? If
Speaker 3: you could from start to finish, what would it be.
Speaker 1: It would be one that the day in June that
Speaker 1: feels just like a day in September. Or one in March,
Speaker 1: or one that your child doesn't feel like something special
Speaker 1: is taking place in the relationship today because this is
Speaker 1: just my dad all the time. If you want to
Speaker 1: say thank you and hand me a card, that's on
Speaker 1: the day. But I just with there there is nothing
Speaker 1: today like wow, we have to do something super duper
Speaker 1: special to honor the relationship with Sabine today. Sabine is
Speaker 1: you see me jump through hoops and do all kinds
Speaker 1: of stuff on any day for Sabine. So I think
Speaker 1: that's the greatest compliment here. Maybe it's just that we're
Speaker 1: just it's a continuation of what we do all year.
Speaker 3: I love that, and I do like the idea of
Speaker 3: not having it feel obligatory, that it is just how
Speaker 3: we act and what we say and what we do.
Speaker 2: But it is a reminder. I do like this, you know.
Speaker 3: I think we do take the people who do the
Speaker 3: most for us the grant for granted oftentimes. So it's
Speaker 3: just a reminder to say thank you. I think that's
Speaker 3: the biggest thing. I love you and thank you, and
Speaker 3: it never hurts, it's never a it's ever a bad
Speaker 3: thing to hear that from, especially from your child.
Speaker 1: What was the so we I was surprised we've gotten
Speaker 1: to this habit now, you and I we talk to
Speaker 1: our family members. You don't speaker, we hear everything. So
Speaker 1: you heard this entire conversation I just had with myne
Speaker 1: with my dad, telling him Happy Father's Day. But it
Speaker 1: was it was interesting to hear him give advice, say,
Speaker 1: we're abut to a corps. Well, what advice would you
Speaker 1: give to dads out there in this episode? And I
Speaker 1: was surprised at pretty much his A answer is now
Speaker 1: my answer. I'm like, we always just no matter what
Speaker 1: we're going to become, our parents are we.
Speaker 3: Yep, that's that's pretty much where we're all headed. And
Speaker 3: you learn that the more the older you get, the
Speaker 3: more you realize like, damn, can't do anything about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So my dad seventy six, it's five prostate cancer,
Speaker 1: one mini heart attack he always calls it, but not
Speaker 1: a major issue. He's had knee replacements, he's he's lost
Speaker 1: one of his siblings here in recent years. Well, I'm
Speaker 1: saying all this to say the dude has been through life,
Speaker 1: has been through a lot, been married for fifty what
Speaker 1: years now? Just the dude has seen a lot and
Speaker 1: of course none of us get it all right, but
Speaker 1: his advice. So this is why I asked him other
Speaker 1: advice you wanted to pass along. This is what he
Speaker 1: wanted to you all to know. He started with money.
Speaker 1: Money just isn't important. You want to be able to
Speaker 1: take care of yourself, you want to be able to provide,
Speaker 1: but money is not important. And you have to recognize
Speaker 1: once important. And we spend so much time chasing and
Speaker 1: trying to do this, trying to do that and trying
Speaker 1: to provide, but it does not matter. You cannot take
Speaker 1: it with you. And this is the part where we
Speaker 1: was like, wow, I'm my dad now. He said, it's
Speaker 1: just time, is just spending time, and that's what's important.
Speaker 1: And so this is what I've come around to lately,
Speaker 1: is that the most important thing is just it really
Speaker 1: is showing up. That's it. And if you can't show up,
Speaker 1: if you're just available, right, if your kid texts you
Speaker 1: and you text in thirty seconds, even that sends a
Speaker 1: signal and a feeling that this person is available, will
Speaker 1: stop what they're doing. And so that certainly is where
Speaker 1: I am now, and I recognize more than anything, it's
Speaker 1: not buying something. It's not. Sometimes it can be memories
Speaker 1: providing experiences. But that recital, that concert that you know,
Speaker 1: even that injury kid nick themselves and you make sure
Speaker 1: you are there to provide a band aid or just
Speaker 1: those little things I recognize them, or so anything is
Speaker 1: the advice I would give the dads. It ain't what
Speaker 1: you can buy. It's just a matter of time, the
Speaker 1: time you can give.
Speaker 3: Do you have a favorite memory or a memory that
Speaker 3: stands out to you about your dad, like that moment
Speaker 3: you're like, wow, my dad, my dad showed up, my
Speaker 3: dad gave me this advice. My dad he was your
Speaker 3: high school principal. So that's I love that dynamic to
Speaker 3: begin with.
Speaker 2: But do you have it?
Speaker 1: Did?
Speaker 3: Yeah? No, no, I mean it wouldn't be any child's
Speaker 3: dream to have their father be the principal. But do
Speaker 3: you have a memory that stands out at all over
Speaker 3: the years.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna Yeah, I didn't. And you said about
Speaker 1: House high school that jumps out at me all. Yes,
Speaker 1: he was my high school principal, and high school was
Speaker 1: tenth to eleven to twelfth grade, so that was three years,
Speaker 1: and my sister was in school with me for one
Speaker 1: of those years. So he was our principal. And I
Speaker 1: always people say, oh, you poor guy, but no, I
Speaker 1: always say I loved it because I knew the system
Speaker 1: well and I knew how to manipulate it. I saw everything.
Speaker 1: I saw everything my dad did, and I knew how
Speaker 1: I worked. But I had two types of teachers. One
Speaker 1: that wanted to maybe kiss my ass because they wanted
Speaker 1: to make sure they made a good impression for the principal,
Speaker 1: their boss, and the other were the teachers who wanted
Speaker 1: to make an example out of me, to say, oh, oh,
Speaker 1: you ain't getting away with anything because you're the principal son.
Speaker 1: My dad understood that dynamic I was. I'm not a
Speaker 1: bad kid. I wasn't trying to get away with anything.
Speaker 1: I was never that. So if any teacher picked on me,
Speaker 1: he recognized. And I can remember, I have not thought
Speaker 1: about this ever, and you just made me think about it.
Speaker 1: To see him defend me when he saw what was happening,
Speaker 1: and it was pretty majority like white teachers who were
Speaker 1: often doing this. But to watch him take up for me,
Speaker 1: that was never a question he gave, like, son, have
Speaker 1: you been doing this? They said that. It was never
Speaker 1: that he automatically knew and he was one hundred percent
Speaker 1: right that I was being picked on that I don't
Speaker 1: know why that memory just plopped up in my head.
Speaker 3: That was weird, but it matters at those moments when
Speaker 3: you want, you need somebody to stand up for you.
Speaker 2: And your dad did. I love that. I love that.
Speaker 1: But you I just heard your dad here give advice
Speaker 1: and he was your dad's a very thoughtful guy, and
Speaker 1: it looked like he wanted to give this, like yeah, like, baby,
Speaker 1: I need more time than you're giving me, but this
Speaker 1: is what I got.
Speaker 2: I didn't give him a lot of time. I put
Speaker 2: him on the spot.
Speaker 3: He and my mom were getting ready to go to church,
Speaker 3: and I was like, da, I'm not trying to just
Speaker 3: put this on you, but I'm going to do that.
Speaker 3: He actually said a few things to me, and then
Speaker 3: he texted me more later, which I thought was cute,
Speaker 3: like maybe on the.
Speaker 2: Way to church, right, I want to get this right.
Speaker 3: But the first thing that came out of his mouth
Speaker 3: in terms of advice on fatherhood was to be of service.
Speaker 3: That too often we're all focused on what we need,
Speaker 3: what we want, and he said his role as a
Speaker 3: father and as a man was to be of service
Speaker 3: to other people and to do that through example, that
Speaker 3: you're teaching your children that thinking outside of your needs
Speaker 3: is really the path to happiness and peace, and it's
Speaker 3: underrated and people don't talk about it very often. But
Speaker 3: that is what he felt like was a really important
Speaker 3: role as a father to show that, to be of service.
Speaker 3: And my dad was always the guy like, oh, my goodness,
Speaker 3: if I needed something, if my mom needed something, if
Speaker 3: my brother, he would be the guy, no matter what time.
Speaker 3: If it was two o'clock in the morning and we
Speaker 3: needed something from the drug store, he would get up
Speaker 3: and he would go. And he was always that.
Speaker 2: Guy who.
Speaker 3: Was of service to my entire family. And that is
Speaker 3: one hundred percent true no matter where he was in
Speaker 3: the world. I felt like, I remember moments when I
Speaker 3: had a gymnastics meet and he would literally be in
Speaker 3: Russia or China and would be coming straight from the
Speaker 3: airport to sit on a bench for five hours and
Speaker 3: watch little girls, you know.
Speaker 2: Do what they do on the beam and the floor.
Speaker 3: Right. But you know, I just but he showed up
Speaker 3: to your point, like, just showing up is such a
Speaker 3: huge part of it. But he added the text he
Speaker 3: wrote to me, he said, one more thing. It's not
Speaker 3: so much what you say, but more about what you do.
Speaker 3: And so his he is a man of few words.
Speaker 3: He and I I was just a joke. He's you know,
Speaker 3: he's what is he ninety seven percent German according to
Speaker 3: twenty three and me.
Speaker 2: He's a scientist.
Speaker 3: He's a microbiologist, so a German scientist coming from a
Speaker 3: family My grandpa was also a German scientist, so you know,
Speaker 3: feelings and emotions not a big part of I know
Speaker 3: that sounds stereotypical, but it just kind of is culturally
Speaker 3: the way it is.
Speaker 2: And he's very left brained, right, that's what it is.
Speaker 2: Or is it right brain?
Speaker 3: See, I'm not.
Speaker 2: It's one of the two.
Speaker 3: He's the scientific side of the brain, so you know,
Speaker 3: being a motive and all of that wasn't necessarily how
Speaker 3: he showed up. But he showed up by being there,
Speaker 3: by being present, by being strong, by being of service,
Speaker 3: and being He had a very and has always had
Speaker 3: an extremely strong moral compass, and that's been a huge
Speaker 3: part of his life and including his faith. So he
Speaker 3: passed that along to me what I love about for
Speaker 3: me at least, and I hear it in your dad's
Speaker 3: voice too, because I know he was a strong authoritarian
Speaker 3: as well. My dad absolutely was as well. But as
Speaker 3: they get older, they just soften so sweetly. And I see,
Speaker 3: like I've hugged my dad more as an adult than
Speaker 3: I probably ever did as a child. And I see
Speaker 3: him with my daughters and it's just it's beautiful.
Speaker 2: It's amazing.
Speaker 1: He is so great with your daughter. Yeah, you could
Speaker 1: see how much. You know what, the cutest part is
Speaker 1: not him, it's them. How they gravitate towards him.
Speaker 3: They will crawl on his lap and hold his hand.
Speaker 3: And he's tough. He's still tough. He oh, he will go,
Speaker 3: like you know, toe to toe on from hot topics
Speaker 3: and current events to just you know, how we live
Speaker 3: our lives.
Speaker 2: My dad doesn't back down.
Speaker 3: He's always been strong in his beliefs, which I appreciate,
Speaker 3: and but there's always healthy debate, and I love and
Speaker 3: my oh my.
Speaker 2: God, my daughters respect the hell out of him.
Speaker 3: That's also you know, when you certainly you've lived enough
Speaker 3: life and you've seen enough things in the world to
Speaker 3: know that there's just a wisdom that we at least
Speaker 3: need to acknowledge in the men in our lives. There
Speaker 3: is a wisdom and a lot to learn.
Speaker 1: Whoa just walked in door speaking of the dell? Yes,
Speaker 1: well time, so he was just creeping in the door,
Speaker 1: the little one here that we were speaking of. And
Speaker 1: you know what, that's a perfect, perfect segue to us
Speaker 1: wrapping up this episode, because Sabine was the one giving
Speaker 1: us a really hard So this was the scene a
Speaker 1: little earlier. I was texting with Sabine as we were
Speaker 1: getting ready to record. And as I'm texting with Sabine
Speaker 1: trying to get the plan for the day, Robox starts
Speaker 1: giving me dad jokes. Yes, so I start typing all
Speaker 1: these dad jokes to Sabine and she loves dad jokes.
Speaker 1: She loves them more than anything in the world. Don't
Speaker 1: you bury it?
Speaker 3: You live?
Speaker 1: Good dad joke? So do you remember? I don't know
Speaker 1: if you remember the answers to you? I got four
Speaker 1: or five here, Okay. What did Spartacus say when a
Speaker 1: lion ate his wife?
Speaker 2: I'm gladiator?
Speaker 1: That was my favorite one scene. That's funny smiling. What
Speaker 1: did the beach say when the tide came in?
Speaker 2: How is it see you later?
Speaker 1: What was it? Long time no sea?
Speaker 2: A long time no sea? What do you give to
Speaker 2: the dentist of the year a little plaque.
Speaker 1: This is.
Speaker 2: She's still not laughing. See that's what dad jokes are
Speaker 2: supposed to be.
Speaker 1: You roll your eyes. She is doing the full row eyes. Okay,
Speaker 1: the old Do you remember this one?
Speaker 2: What do you call a happy cowboy, a jolly rancher?
Speaker 1: Nothing?
Speaker 2: Get some fast blinks?
Speaker 1: Okay, this is a good one. I want to hear
Speaker 1: a joke about construction. I'm still working on it.
Speaker 3: Okay, she's nodding her head.
Speaker 1: No, okay. Last two, Where does double O seven invest
Speaker 1: his money in.
Speaker 2: The market.
Speaker 1: To me? Come on? Wrong? Okay? Last one? Okay, this
Speaker 1: one is? This went too far? This is okay, this
Speaker 1: is a little cheesy. Why did the picture go to jail?
Speaker 2: He was framed a snarl.
Speaker 1: She's just not even trying to participate now, But jokes.
Speaker 1: We hope you all had a good one. We're gonna
Speaker 1: see you planning again. We can't thank you all enough.
Speaker 1: We're getting a lot of getting a lot of really
Speaker 1: really and robes. You were the one that said it.
Speaker 1: And I don't look at a lot of stuff. I
Speaker 1: don't look at social media, I don't look at articles
Speaker 1: and things. But you were you were kind of over
Speaker 1: the moon and found some of the response to our
Speaker 1: last few episodes very hard.
Speaker 3: Felt well, I don't know if you remember when you
Speaker 3: were over I guess right before Analyice left yesterday, she
Speaker 3: kind of yelled out from a room because we were
Speaker 3: talking about a podcast. She's like, you guys are getting
Speaker 3: really positive comments. So I was like, wow, so I
Speaker 3: read them sometimes that apparently my daughters are reading the
Speaker 3: comments constantly, so that's a little unnerving, but it's no.
Speaker 3: It was she was like, they were like, yay, they
Speaker 3: were rooting for us. They were excited that it seemed
Speaker 3: like there was a lot of real positive response, not
Speaker 3: just to you know, the last few episodes, but I
Speaker 3: think just you know, it's just it feels good. And
Speaker 3: we appreciate positive comments. We appreciate people just saying that
Speaker 3: they enjoyed this or that, and so thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2: Keep keep those coming. We appreciate it.
Speaker 1: And folks, you can always find us. Official Instagram page
Speaker 1: for the show is at Amy and TJ Podcast. We
Speaker 1: are both on our individual accounts on Instagram and TikTok
Speaker 1: and Twitter as well. Forgive us for not being as
Speaker 1: active in some of those places. But again thank you
Speaker 1: for listening. That's only