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Speaker 1: The folks. In this episode, Robes and I adopt a

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Speaker 1: new morning routine. Too bad it involves her sleeping alone

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Speaker 1: for the last two hours of the morning. Also, are

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Speaker 1: we the only ones out there who've been binging season

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Speaker 1: one of House of the Dragon like crazy people in

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Speaker 1: the past few days? And what did you get your

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Speaker 1: dad for Father's Day? Survey says it was probably alcohol.

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Speaker 1: Plus minutes ago, Robes and I both got off the

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Speaker 1: phone with our dads and we asked them the advice

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Speaker 1: they'd want us to pass along to you all and

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Speaker 1: all dads in this episode. And with that, Welcome to

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Speaker 1: this episode of Amy and TJ. Robes sitting across a

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Speaker 1: table from me this time and not in studio. We

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Speaker 1: were recording on Father's Day at our dining room table.

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Speaker 1: So a little different today.

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Speaker 2: That's right, And Happy Father's Day, TJ Ah, thank you

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Speaker 2: for that.

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Speaker 1: Weird I say it's a weird day because it's just

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Speaker 1: I don't feel like there's anything else extra that needs

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Speaker 1: to be done.

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Speaker 3: Well, no, I think that's very humble and sweet of you,

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Speaker 3: But it always does feel like that when you're you

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Speaker 3: don't want to set expectations, but you're also appreciative of anything,

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Speaker 3: or really just I don't know. Do you what do

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Speaker 3: you think of Father's Day? Do you think it's warranted?

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Speaker 3: Do you think it's needed?

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Speaker 1: I don't, I don't know. I'm not a It is weird.

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Speaker 1: We're going to get into it at the to close

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Speaker 1: it out when we talk about advice from our dads.

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Speaker 1: But it feels so different from Mother's Day. Like Father's Day,

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Speaker 1: they both feel like duties. But you feel like if

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Speaker 1: you don't fulfill your duty on Father's Day, he's not

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Speaker 1: gonna mind.

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Speaker 2: Right, there's a higher expectation set around moms. You gotta

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Speaker 2: you gotta take care of mom. There's no question, there's

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Speaker 2: no question.

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Speaker 3: And honestly, the sad thing is, or I don't know,

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Speaker 3: just the reality of it is. The financials back that

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Speaker 3: up because we were looking. It's very apparent and not

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Speaker 3: even up for debate. Americans spend billions of dollars more

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Speaker 3: on their moms than they do on their dads every year,

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Speaker 3: and we're spending more and more each year, but the

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Speaker 3: ratio remains the same. Moms just get about almost one

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Speaker 3: hundred dollars more in gifts or whatever per person when

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Speaker 3: you're whatever you're allotting towards these days, moms get the

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Speaker 3: lion's share for sure, without question.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, what'd you get your dad for a

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Speaker 1: father's name?

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Speaker 3: Well, this was pretty funny, so I know the full proof. No,

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Speaker 3: like it's always going to land as if I get

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Speaker 3: my dad alcohol. So he loves wine, he loves fine wine,

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Speaker 3: he loves champagne.

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Speaker 2: So this year I got champagne.

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Speaker 3: I got a rose, and I got a brute, and

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Speaker 3: I got a really pretty champagne bucket to go along

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Speaker 3: with it. And sure enough, I already got a picture

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Speaker 3: saying thank you.

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Speaker 2: But then I looked.

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Speaker 3: Online and apparently we are twice as like to send

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Speaker 3: our father's alcohol as we are our mother. So that

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Speaker 3: is one of the big gifts, apparently that we give

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Speaker 3: our dads because we know it'll get used and it

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Speaker 3: will be enjoyed.

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Speaker 1: For the most part, it's easy, you know, right, Just

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Speaker 1: guys don't get the same don't get the same attention.

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Speaker 1: That's okay, Yeah, I think that's completely warranted. But just

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Speaker 1: wait as fall as they comes along, and what do

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Speaker 1: you want to do? And you guys do that. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm doing the same thing we always do I'm hanging

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Speaker 1: with my girls on Sunday, but I always do. I'm

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Speaker 1: always with you. Me and Sabine run around somewhere, were

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Speaker 1: going to lunch outside. It's the same. The day is

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Speaker 1: not different in the least bit. It doesn't feel different.

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Speaker 1: And maybe that is a good sign.

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Speaker 3: So well, oh, I know, but you should feel special though,

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Speaker 3: I think, Yeah, it's nice to feel the love.

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Speaker 2: Sabine's coming over.

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Speaker 1: She's on her way to make me feel special tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: I want to make you feel special every day.

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Speaker 1: Okay, then today's not a biggie. I don't. I don't

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Speaker 1: feel if somebody nobody said to me, be Father's Day

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Speaker 1: and it didn't acknowledge.

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Speaker 2: Really, I don't even know if I would notice. Oh,

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Speaker 2: it would bother me.

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Speaker 3: It would bother me if no one said happy mothers.

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Speaker 1: Would it only bother you?

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Speaker 2: If the girl, oh yeah, I don't need anyone else

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Speaker 2: to say it.

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Speaker 3: Yes, but I would hope that at the very least

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Speaker 3: you'd get a hey, happy Mother's Day.

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Speaker 2: I appreciate you, thank you for all that you do for.

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Speaker 1: Me morning and yeah, so me and actually she was.

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Speaker 1: She sent a text after midnight like why are you

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Speaker 1: why are you in your room texting. She wanted to

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Speaker 1: make sure she was.

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Speaker 2: That's really sweet.

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Speaker 3: Can I laugh though, because remember on Mother's Day I

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Speaker 3: got annoyed that you were saying whatever you want, it's

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Speaker 3: what do you want to do? And I was like,

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Speaker 3: I don't. I don't want to make it up. I

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Speaker 3: don't want to have to I don't want the pressure

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Speaker 3: of that. So today I was just joking a couple

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Speaker 3: of times. Today's your day.

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Speaker 2: I said that. I texted that scene, and what did

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Speaker 2: you expect to me?

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Speaker 1: Look it up?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you had a very strong response to me, saying,

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Speaker 3: I said, today is your day, whatever you want to do.

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Speaker 3: And I believe you said if you say that to

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Speaker 3: me one more explitive time.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I'm are.

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Speaker 2: You looking it up?

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Speaker 3: Maybe let's yeah, let's get the actual verbatim of what

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Speaker 3: you sent back to me.

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Speaker 1: It's your day, you can do what. Okay, I'm just reading.

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Speaker 1: I'm just going to read this filter. Okay, you said

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Speaker 1: to me it's your day, you can do whatever you

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Speaker 1: want walking out from my place at eleven something. Okay,

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Speaker 1: that was actually something else, So okay, there it is.

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Speaker 1: You said, it's your day, you can do whatever you want.

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Speaker 1: My response was say, that shit one more time and

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Speaker 1: you'll be sorry.

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Speaker 3: Okay, little insight, you can do. Yes, we have a

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Speaker 3: very playful relationship.

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Speaker 1: But you know, the funny thing is that text exchange

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Speaker 1: was at six twenty a film.

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Speaker 2: And how long have you already been up? I was gone,

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Speaker 2: you were gone two hours. We spent the night.

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Speaker 3: We spend pretty much every night together. It's a rare

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Speaker 3: thing if we don't. But yes, you're already out of

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Speaker 3: the apartment and doing your thing where we have to

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Speaker 3: text each other back and forth at six twenty in

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Speaker 3: the morning.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to my life.

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Speaker 1: Okay, this this has changed a little bit. I mentioned

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Speaker 1: our morning routine, but it's only changed because of the weather.

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Speaker 1: And it's changed because the weather is just glorious in

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Speaker 1: New York right now in mornings and nights are absolutely stunning.

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Speaker 1: We're talking mid sixties or even warmer at low six

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Speaker 1: in the morning and then at seven, eight, nine o'clock

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Speaker 1: at night. And for me that's a big deal because

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Speaker 1: I ride my bike through the well.

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Speaker 3: You say a bike, motorcycle, not a city bike. You

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Speaker 3: won't be caught dead on a city bike. Let's just

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Speaker 3: make that really clear. You want a bike actually sounds funny.

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Speaker 1: Blue isn't my color. That's why I don't ride city

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Speaker 1: bikes anyway. Right, But now that this is the case,

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Speaker 1: I like to get up and ride, take a ride

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Speaker 1: on the motorcycle in the morning or at night. And

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Speaker 1: morning is great because you get the city to yourself. Anybody,

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Speaker 1: if you live here, if I say to you you're

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Speaker 1: going to go from the Financial District to Central Park,

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Speaker 1: you start thinking, Okay, which train don't need to take?

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Speaker 1: Take the cars going to take me forty five minutes?

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Speaker 1: It really does. In the morning when there's no traffic

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Speaker 1: out when I'm out riding, it takes me twelve to

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Speaker 1: fifteen minutes to get from Lower Manhattan to Central Park,

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Speaker 1: straight shot, no traffic. And I love it.

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Speaker 2: That's remarkable. I know, I love it.

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Speaker 3: And now you're having so much fun coming back down

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Speaker 3: through Times Square. So now you're riding the motorcycle times

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Speaker 3: Square and you've got the whole place to yourself.

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Speaker 1: So if anybody yet, if you're in Times Square at

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Speaker 1: you know, six ish, and you see a streak going

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Speaker 1: through a white bike, leather jacket, white black helmet, that's me.

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Speaker 2: And you said you got every green light. That's so again,

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Speaker 2: something that's remarkable.

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Speaker 1: I went from Times Square to Lower Manhattan without missing

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Speaker 1: a light.

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Speaker 2: That never happens.

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Speaker 1: It just doesn't happen. So anyway, that's our new morning.

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Speaker 1: But I've come been coming back to your place and

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Speaker 1: I message you and say, hey, can you make me tea?

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Speaker 1: And the first couple of times I did that, You're like,

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Speaker 1: what the hell is going on?

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Speaker 2: There's me tea? I was like, what right? And now

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 3: I jumped up, got your tea, my coffee. We sit

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Speaker 3: out on my balcony and you've got your motorcycle gear.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, it's kind of like a part two to

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Speaker 3: the morning because you leave. I mean you leave as

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Speaker 3: early as five fifteen sometimes and you're up since four

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Speaker 3: waiting for me to wake up, which does not happen.

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Speaker 3: But I've enjoyed it too, because while you're off experiencing

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Speaker 3: the city on your own, I get an extra hour

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Speaker 3: of sleep, and I'm grateful for that because no, I mean,

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Speaker 3: like I think I'm a six thirty seven am kind

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Speaker 3: of gal, You're just a four am kind of guy.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, that's a great way to spend the time

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Speaker 3: where I would be sleeping and you'd be anxious, like

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Speaker 3: when is you waking up?

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Speaker 2: Now you get to ride your bikes.

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Speaker 1: It's fun. And then I get it's stun I can

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Speaker 1: see you. But the funniest one was the morning I

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Speaker 1: messaged and said, can you make me tea? And I

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Speaker 1: think you wanted to have it. You were trying to

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Speaker 1: fool me, maybe into thinking you were already up moving around,

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Speaker 1: and you weren't. So I have a key, I will

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Speaker 1: come into the place. You apparently had just seen the message. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not kidding. I walk in. You don't know

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Speaker 1: I'm in the play. I walk in. I'm coming to

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Speaker 1: the back. You had seen the message. I didn't know.

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Speaker 1: But I walk in and you are doing You are

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Speaker 1: jumping up and down, trying to get tights on.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, my leggings, my run. I think we were

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Speaker 2: going to go running later, so I trying to get

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Speaker 2: my run. You're on.

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Speaker 1: You were trying to get dressed to get the teenage.

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Speaker 1: So I come in. I just see naked white cheeks

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Speaker 1: jumping you.

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Speaker 3: You gave me no lead time to get the tea ready,

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Speaker 3: I was like. And then there was the other morning,

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Speaker 3: plenty of time. There was the other morning where I

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Speaker 3: didn't get the text because I was sleeping and you were.

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Speaker 2: You stood over the bed, and funny enough, I didn't

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Speaker 2: even freak out. I was like, oh hey, but you

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Speaker 2: would think someone would scream, but nope.

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Speaker 1: I'm enjoying our new morning routine.

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Speaker 2: It's been great.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, our afternoon routine and kind of we haven't gotten

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Speaker 1: this yet, but we can't be the only ones. Isn't

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Speaker 1: everybody doing this? If you loved House of the Dragon

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Speaker 1: or HBO the first season, which is now seems like

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Speaker 1: it was what twenty eight, it.

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Speaker 2: Was two years ago, two years ago.

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Speaker 1: So the new season's coming dropping on Father's Day and

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Speaker 1: we are trying to get caught up.

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Speaker 3: Yes, and it's very you know, it's complicated. It's like

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Speaker 3: Game of Thrones, and that's part of what I think

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Speaker 3: the love of it is that if you're in it,

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Speaker 3: you're in it.

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Speaker 2: You know all the details.

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Speaker 3: You know that, you know all of the different houses

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Speaker 3: and the fighting factions, but then you forget because it

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Speaker 3: is so complicated. So we're trying to refresh our memory

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Speaker 3: leading up to because you know what, there aren't many

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Speaker 3: things where you actually get excited about watching something live.

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Speaker 3: Game of Thrones was like that for me. House the

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Speaker 3: Dragon was like that for us because we did watch

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Speaker 3: it two years ago. I think it was our first

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Speaker 3: show we watched together, right, were we watching it? Like

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Speaker 3: we had moments where we got to watch show together.

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Speaker 1: Really might be the first show we watched together.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so we were actually getting to watch that, and

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Speaker 3: now we get to see the second season, which is

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Speaker 3: super exciting. But yes, there is some catching up to do.

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Speaker 3: We're not there yet. It's nine o'clock tonight, Eastern time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but you know it's weird on this because I mean,

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Speaker 1: anybody's familiar with the game with their ownes world, Like,

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Speaker 1: there's some pretty harsh, violent and I mean even dark

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Speaker 1: themes and if you're trying to binge that. I said yesterday,

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Speaker 1: we need a break, right, you know we were.

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Speaker 3: I was like ready for the second, you know, we

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Speaker 3: started watching and he was like, it's really it's a

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Speaker 3: beautiful day outside. It's like eighty one degrees and sunny.

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Speaker 3: This feels really heavy and dark, and you weren't wrong.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you know, it is one of those things

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Speaker 3: where it might be more fun to watch on a

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Speaker 3: winter's night or you know, a stormy evening on an

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Speaker 3: eighty one sunny glorious day in Manhattan. It feels wrong

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Speaker 3: to be watching How the Dragon but trying really hard

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Speaker 3: to catch up for tonight.

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Speaker 1: We'll get there, we will. But this is again we're

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Speaker 1: recording on on Father's Day here and we, like I said,

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Speaker 1: we just got off the phone with our dads. But

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Speaker 1: it's I did. I'll ask you what you guys your

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Speaker 1: dad for Father's Day. I didn't get my dad anything.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't tell you the last year that I did.

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Speaker 1: But I make sure mama gets flowers. Right? Why are

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Speaker 1: we do that right? Why do we feel that kind

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Speaker 1: of that difference between that affection or that there's just

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Speaker 1: something sweeter about the relationship almost with the with the

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Speaker 1: mom that boys and girls feel like you need to shower.

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Speaker 2: It was interesting.

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Speaker 3: You looked up just to be like, it was just

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Speaker 3: a fascinating thing to see what reservations we could get

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Speaker 3: for brunch for Father's Day. And apparently we can go

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Speaker 3: anywhere at any time because the reservations are wide open.

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Speaker 3: And we laughed, because anyone everyone knows Mother's Day.

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Speaker 2: Quite the opposite.

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Speaker 3: If you haven't planned ahead of time to get brunch

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Speaker 3: at your favorite spot, you will not be attending it.

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Speaker 3: Just isn't gonna happen, because that's the first thing everyone

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Speaker 3: goes and does.

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Speaker 2: But you made a good point.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if you read it or you thought

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Speaker 3: about it, but I think most families. Everyone's different, obviously,

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Speaker 3: but most families there is the role of the mother,

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Speaker 3: and the mother is the one who's cooking and cleaning

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Speaker 3: and doing a lot of the nurturing. So yes, to

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Speaker 3: take her out where she doesn't have to cook, she

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Speaker 3: doesn't have to clean. That makes a lot of sense,

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Speaker 3: whereas most people don't think of fathers in that way.

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Speaker 3: But you are an exception. You you cook ninety eight

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Speaker 3: percent of our meals, and I imagine that's been the case,

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Speaker 3: maybe ninety nine percent.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I cooked a meal on Friday night. I get say.

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Speaker 2: The thing is, you're look have been.

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Speaker 3: I have been cooking meals for my family for the

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Speaker 3: last two decades and they didn't have another choice. So

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Speaker 3: I always felt like I was a pretty decent cook.

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Speaker 3: But you're you're amazing, and so now I'm intimidated. I've

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Speaker 3: said this like, oh, yours is better than mine, But

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Speaker 3: every now and then I'll step up and it's okay,

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Speaker 3: it's good, it's good.

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Speaker 1: You're not. We talked about this enough, but I hope

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Speaker 1: nobody's getting the impression that you are a bad suggestion.

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Speaker 3: But you're just You're exceptional. Like your eggs. You learn

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Speaker 3: from Gordon Ramsay, so like I've never tasted better eggs.

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Speaker 3: Like we've yet to taste eggs better than the ones

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Speaker 3: you cook. And you learned from the best.

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Speaker 1: And we should say I didn't read his cookbook, I

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Speaker 1: didn't look up anything online. I was in his house

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Speaker 1: in La and he showed me how to make these eggs.

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Speaker 1: And it's been out there. People know his his egg

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Speaker 1: but I have done it for years and years now

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Speaker 1: to where I we won't say what restaurant, but it

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Speaker 1: was a restaurant that.

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Speaker 2: Had fabulous scrambled eggs.

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Speaker 1: I hope we don't give them away because that is

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Speaker 1: the exact name of the item on their menu. They

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Speaker 1: were not fabulous. That was tough.

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Speaker 3: And then you said, if we were to ever open

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Speaker 3: a restaurant, what you would name your scrambled egg dish

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Speaker 3: on our menu?

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Speaker 1: They would be called I learned these from Gordon Ramsey

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Speaker 1: Eggs to being honest about it, get it.

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Speaker 3: Credit needs to be given where it's due. And yes

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Speaker 3: it involves crumb fresh. We'll just say that. It's I

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Speaker 3: never imagine because I always put cheese in my eggs

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Speaker 3: and like, and you don't need anything other than salt, pepper.

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Speaker 2: Pem fresh and butter. Butter. You do need butter and

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Speaker 2: then the scallions on the.

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Speaker 1: If anybody out there you make scrambled eggs, if your

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Speaker 1: eggs are ready in less than a minute, you're not

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Speaker 1: doing it right. And that's how I grew up seeing

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Speaker 1: scrambled eggs being made. You just throw them, suckles in there,

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Speaker 1: whip it up, and you're good to go. These these

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Speaker 1: take time, They take effort, and they take a lot

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Speaker 1: of stirring on and off the aisle. And again it's

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Speaker 1: out there. This is not some secret he I think

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Speaker 1: there's an instructional video out there about it.

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Speaker 2: But they are so good.

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Speaker 1: How do we get on this? We were talking about, well, we.

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Speaker 2: Were talking about so the brunch reservations.

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Speaker 3: We were talking so now like today it's why where

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Speaker 3: every and we were just like, why is that? And

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Speaker 3: I think just traditionally more women, but you deserve a

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Speaker 3: lovely brunch. But we're going to the movies, which is

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Speaker 3: actually funny enough what I.

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Speaker 2: Did on Mother's Day? You came to a rom com.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, loved it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it was an action And do you want to

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Speaker 3: reveal the movie that you were going to?

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Speaker 1: No, we're going to or the one going Yeah this

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Speaker 1: is okay, this is a this is a Sabine thing.

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Speaker 1: This is a Sabine. Yes, this is a Sabine. Was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we gotta go. It was one because you and I

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Speaker 1: any movie. We were talking about the Ryan Gosling and

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Speaker 1: we want a fall Guy fall Gout, but we just

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Speaker 1: don't go to the theater unless it's a horror movie.

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Speaker 1: So if anybody suggests to me they want to go

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Speaker 1: to the theater and see anything other than I'm like,

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Speaker 1: not really, I'm not interested, And so I wouldn't have

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Speaker 1: gone to see any of this. But now this is

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Speaker 1: one Sabine and I gotta do our thing.

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Speaker 3: Okay, That's why I'm excited. A lot of dads in there,

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Speaker 3: didn't you say funny enough? It seemed like there were

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Speaker 3: a lot of people going to the movies because that

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Speaker 3: might be something that you're comfortable going to your dad with,

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Speaker 3: just sitting in a dark theater and not talking.

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Speaker 1: But that's say that and that is kind of and

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Speaker 1: I get it. We just have different relationships. Sabine was

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Speaker 1: even messaging me and she said, yeah, there's this is

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Speaker 1: gonna be a lot of dudes sitting on the couch

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Speaker 1: and enjoying that liquor that they were bought for a

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Speaker 1: Father's Day. I think that mindset, but it's just I

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Speaker 1: don't know that the day doesn't feel different. But yes,

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Speaker 1: dads are incredibly important. We just talked to our dads

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Speaker 1: and we talked about the money spent, right, you gave

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Speaker 1: that number already for the difference and the money we spend.

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Speaker 1: There's a difference in the amount of revenue. Almost doubles

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Speaker 1: in terms of the amount of revenue increase on Mother's

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Speaker 1: Day for restaurants versus Father's Day. And it is remarkable

385
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Speaker 1: to go on to Rezi or open table and party

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Speaker 1: of three for today. We got any anywhere you wanted.

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Speaker 3: It was crazy like probably maybe even more so than

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Speaker 3: any other random Sunday.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what.

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Speaker 3: What would be a perfect Father's Day for you? If

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00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,720
Speaker 3: you could from start to finish, what would it be.

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Speaker 1: It would be one that the day in June that

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Speaker 1: feels just like a day in September. Or one in March,

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Speaker 1: or one that your child doesn't feel like something special

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Speaker 1: is taking place in the relationship today because this is

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Speaker 1: just my dad all the time. If you want to

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Speaker 1: say thank you and hand me a card, that's on

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Speaker 1: the day. But I just with there there is nothing

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Speaker 1: today like wow, we have to do something super duper

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Speaker 1: special to honor the relationship with Sabine today. Sabine is

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00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:49,520
Speaker 1: you see me jump through hoops and do all kinds

402
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Speaker 1: of stuff on any day for Sabine. So I think

403
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Speaker 1: that's the greatest compliment here. Maybe it's just that we're

404
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,440
Speaker 1: just it's a continuation of what we do all year.

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Speaker 3: I love that, and I do like the idea of

406
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:10,000
Speaker 3: not having it feel obligatory, that it is just how

407
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:12,959
Speaker 3: we act and what we say and what we do.

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Speaker 2: But it is a reminder. I do like this, you know.

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Speaker 3: I think we do take the people who do the

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00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,520
Speaker 3: most for us the grant for granted oftentimes. So it's

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Speaker 3: just a reminder to say thank you. I think that's

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00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,359
Speaker 3: the biggest thing. I love you and thank you, and

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00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:29,600
Speaker 3: it never hurts, it's never a it's ever a bad

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00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:33,400
Speaker 3: thing to hear that from, especially from your child.

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Speaker 1: What was the so we I was surprised we've gotten

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00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:40,600
Speaker 1: to this habit now, you and I we talk to

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Speaker 1: our family members. You don't speaker, we hear everything. So

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Speaker 1: you heard this entire conversation I just had with myne

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Speaker 1: with my dad, telling him Happy Father's Day. But it

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Speaker 1: was it was interesting to hear him give advice, say,

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Speaker 1: we're abut to a corps. Well, what advice would you

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00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,359
Speaker 1: give to dads out there in this episode? And I

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Speaker 1: was surprised at pretty much his A answer is now

424
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:04,119
Speaker 1: my answer. I'm like, we always just no matter what

425
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Speaker 1: we're going to become, our parents are we.

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Speaker 3: Yep, that's that's pretty much where we're all headed. And

427
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,879
Speaker 3: you learn that the more the older you get, the

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00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:15,280
Speaker 3: more you realize like, damn, can't do anything about it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So my dad seventy six, it's five prostate cancer,

430
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,960
Speaker 1: one mini heart attack he always calls it, but not

431
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:41,720
Speaker 1: a major issue. He's had knee replacements, he's he's lost

432
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,520
Speaker 1: one of his siblings here in recent years. Well, I'm

433
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,120
Speaker 1: saying all this to say the dude has been through life,

434
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Speaker 1: has been through a lot, been married for fifty what

435
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:54,199
Speaker 1: years now? Just the dude has seen a lot and

436
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,679
Speaker 1: of course none of us get it all right, but

437
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Speaker 1: his advice. So this is why I asked him other

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Speaker 1: advice you wanted to pass along. This is what he

439
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:07,480
Speaker 1: wanted to you all to know. He started with money.

440
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,560
Speaker 1: Money just isn't important. You want to be able to

441
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 1: take care of yourself, you want to be able to provide,

442
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:16,440
Speaker 1: but money is not important. And you have to recognize

443
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:21,000
Speaker 1: once important. And we spend so much time chasing and

444
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,720
Speaker 1: trying to do this, trying to do that and trying

445
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:26,520
Speaker 1: to provide, but it does not matter. You cannot take

446
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:28,320
Speaker 1: it with you. And this is the part where we

447
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:31,680
Speaker 1: was like, wow, I'm my dad now. He said, it's

448
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:36,880
Speaker 1: just time, is just spending time, and that's what's important.

449
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:39,679
Speaker 1: And so this is what I've come around to lately,

450
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:45,240
Speaker 1: is that the most important thing is just it really

451
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 1: is showing up. That's it. And if you can't show up,

452
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:52,480
Speaker 1: if you're just available, right, if your kid texts you

453
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:57,359
Speaker 1: and you text in thirty seconds, even that sends a

454
00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:00,440
Speaker 1: signal and a feeling that this person is available, will

455
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 1: stop what they're doing. And so that certainly is where

456
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,680
Speaker 1: I am now, and I recognize more than anything, it's

457
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 1: not buying something. It's not. Sometimes it can be memories

458
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 1: providing experiences. But that recital, that concert that you know,

459
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:24,480
Speaker 1: even that injury kid nick themselves and you make sure

460
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:28,159
Speaker 1: you are there to provide a band aid or just

461
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,600
Speaker 1: those little things I recognize them, or so anything is

462
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,119
Speaker 1: the advice I would give the dads. It ain't what

463
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,639
Speaker 1: you can buy. It's just a matter of time, the

464
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:37,640
Speaker 1: time you can give.

465
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:40,720
Speaker 3: Do you have a favorite memory or a memory that

466
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 3: stands out to you about your dad, like that moment

467
00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 3: you're like, wow, my dad, my dad showed up, my

468
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,919
Speaker 3: dad gave me this advice. My dad he was your

469
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 3: high school principal. So that's I love that dynamic to

470
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 3: begin with.

471
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,359
Speaker 2: But do you have it?

472
00:22:58,359 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 1: Did?

473
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,280
Speaker 3: Yeah? No, no, I mean it wouldn't be any child's

474
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 3: dream to have their father be the principal. But do

475
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 3: you have a memory that stands out at all over

476
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:06,439
Speaker 3: the years.

477
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,760
Speaker 1: You're not gonna Yeah, I didn't. And you said about

478
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 1: House high school that jumps out at me all. Yes,

479
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 1: he was my high school principal, and high school was

480
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 1: tenth to eleven to twelfth grade, so that was three years,

481
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,680
Speaker 1: and my sister was in school with me for one

482
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:26,399
Speaker 1: of those years. So he was our principal. And I

483
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 1: always people say, oh, you poor guy, but no, I

484
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,719
Speaker 1: always say I loved it because I knew the system

485
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 1: well and I knew how to manipulate it. I saw everything.

486
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:36,959
Speaker 1: I saw everything my dad did, and I knew how

487
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:41,360
Speaker 1: I worked. But I had two types of teachers. One

488
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 1: that wanted to maybe kiss my ass because they wanted

489
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 1: to make sure they made a good impression for the principal,

490
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 1: their boss, and the other were the teachers who wanted

491
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:52,360
Speaker 1: to make an example out of me, to say, oh, oh,

492
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,240
Speaker 1: you ain't getting away with anything because you're the principal son.

493
00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:00,479
Speaker 1: My dad understood that dynamic I was. I'm not a

494
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,879
Speaker 1: bad kid. I wasn't trying to get away with anything.

495
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,919
Speaker 1: I was never that. So if any teacher picked on me,

496
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 1: he recognized. And I can remember, I have not thought

497
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,880
Speaker 1: about this ever, and you just made me think about it.

498
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:19,680
Speaker 1: To see him defend me when he saw what was happening,

499
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:22,400
Speaker 1: and it was pretty majority like white teachers who were

500
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 1: often doing this. But to watch him take up for me,

501
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 1: that was never a question he gave, like, son, have

502
00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:31,440
Speaker 1: you been doing this? They said that. It was never

503
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:34,160
Speaker 1: that he automatically knew and he was one hundred percent

504
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:35,880
Speaker 1: right that I was being picked on that I don't

505
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 1: know why that memory just plopped up in my head.

506
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 3: That was weird, but it matters at those moments when

507
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:41,639
Speaker 3: you want, you need somebody to stand up for you.

508
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,679
Speaker 2: And your dad did. I love that. I love that.

509
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,439
Speaker 1: But you I just heard your dad here give advice

510
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:50,159
Speaker 1: and he was your dad's a very thoughtful guy, and

511
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: it looked like he wanted to give this, like yeah, like, baby,

512
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 1: I need more time than you're giving me, but this

513
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:54,959
Speaker 1: is what I got.

514
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:56,360
Speaker 2: I didn't give him a lot of time. I put

515
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:56,960
Speaker 2: him on the spot.

516
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:58,960
Speaker 3: He and my mom were getting ready to go to church,

517
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 3: and I was like, da, I'm not trying to just

518
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,520
Speaker 3: put this on you, but I'm going to do that.

519
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,439
Speaker 3: He actually said a few things to me, and then

520
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 3: he texted me more later, which I thought was cute,

521
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:09,359
Speaker 3: like maybe on the.

522
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:12,880
Speaker 2: Way to church, right, I want to get this right.

523
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,840
Speaker 3: But the first thing that came out of his mouth

524
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 3: in terms of advice on fatherhood was to be of service.

525
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,560
Speaker 3: That too often we're all focused on what we need,

526
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 3: what we want, and he said his role as a

527
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:28,399
Speaker 3: father and as a man was to be of service

528
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 3: to other people and to do that through example, that

529
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:36,800
Speaker 3: you're teaching your children that thinking outside of your needs

530
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:41,160
Speaker 3: is really the path to happiness and peace, and it's

531
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 3: underrated and people don't talk about it very often. But

532
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 3: that is what he felt like was a really important

533
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,880
Speaker 3: role as a father to show that, to be of service.

534
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 3: And my dad was always the guy like, oh, my goodness,

535
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 3: if I needed something, if my mom needed something, if

536
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:56,160
Speaker 3: my brother, he would be the guy, no matter what time.

537
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 3: If it was two o'clock in the morning and we

538
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,520
Speaker 3: needed something from the drug store, he would get up

539
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,160
Speaker 3: and he would go. And he was always that.

540
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:03,920
Speaker 2: Guy who.

541
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:08,359
Speaker 3: Was of service to my entire family. And that is

542
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,240
Speaker 3: one hundred percent true no matter where he was in

543
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:13,679
Speaker 3: the world. I felt like, I remember moments when I

544
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 3: had a gymnastics meet and he would literally be in

545
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,159
Speaker 3: Russia or China and would be coming straight from the

546
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:22,439
Speaker 3: airport to sit on a bench for five hours and

547
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,680
Speaker 3: watch little girls, you know.

548
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,159
Speaker 2: Do what they do on the beam and the floor.

549
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,199
Speaker 3: Right. But you know, I just but he showed up

550
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:32,440
Speaker 3: to your point, like, just showing up is such a

551
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,679
Speaker 3: huge part of it. But he added the text he

552
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,080
Speaker 3: wrote to me, he said, one more thing. It's not

553
00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:40,960
Speaker 3: so much what you say, but more about what you do.

554
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:44,919
Speaker 3: And so his he is a man of few words.

555
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 3: He and I I was just a joke. He's you know,

556
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:51,439
Speaker 3: he's what is he ninety seven percent German according to

557
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 3: twenty three and me.

558
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:53,240
Speaker 2: He's a scientist.

559
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 3: He's a microbiologist, so a German scientist coming from a

560
00:26:56,880 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 3: family My grandpa was also a German scientist, so you know,

561
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:07,760
Speaker 3: feelings and emotions not a big part of I know

562
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:10,160
Speaker 3: that sounds stereotypical, but it just kind of is culturally

563
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:10,919
Speaker 3: the way it is.

564
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,960
Speaker 2: And he's very left brained, right, that's what it is.

565
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 2: Or is it right brain?

566
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:15,359
Speaker 3: See, I'm not.

567
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:16,440
Speaker 2: It's one of the two.

568
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 3: He's the scientific side of the brain, so you know,

569
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 3: being a motive and all of that wasn't necessarily how

570
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:26,679
Speaker 3: he showed up. But he showed up by being there,

571
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 3: by being present, by being strong, by being of service,

572
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,159
Speaker 3: and being He had a very and has always had

573
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,480
Speaker 3: an extremely strong moral compass, and that's been a huge

574
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 3: part of his life and including his faith. So he

575
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,639
Speaker 3: passed that along to me what I love about for

576
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,359
Speaker 3: me at least, and I hear it in your dad's

577
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,160
Speaker 3: voice too, because I know he was a strong authoritarian

578
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:47,680
Speaker 3: as well. My dad absolutely was as well. But as

579
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 3: they get older, they just soften so sweetly. And I see,

580
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 3: like I've hugged my dad more as an adult than

581
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 3: I probably ever did as a child. And I see

582
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:01,560
Speaker 3: him with my daughters and it's just it's beautiful.

583
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 2: It's amazing.

584
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 1: He is so great with your daughter. Yeah, you could

585
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:08,199
Speaker 1: see how much. You know what, the cutest part is

586
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,680
Speaker 1: not him, it's them. How they gravitate towards him.

587
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 3: They will crawl on his lap and hold his hand.

588
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:16,640
Speaker 3: And he's tough. He's still tough. He oh, he will go,

589
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:20,400
Speaker 3: like you know, toe to toe on from hot topics

590
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 3: and current events to just you know, how we live

591
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 3: our lives.

592
00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 2: My dad doesn't back down.

593
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 3: He's always been strong in his beliefs, which I appreciate,

594
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:36,240
Speaker 3: and but there's always healthy debate, and I love and

595
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 3: my oh my.

596
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 2: God, my daughters respect the hell out of him.

597
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 3: That's also you know, when you certainly you've lived enough

598
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 3: life and you've seen enough things in the world to

599
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 3: know that there's just a wisdom that we at least

600
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:53,280
Speaker 3: need to acknowledge in the men in our lives. There

601
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 3: is a wisdom and a lot to learn.

602
00:28:56,320 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 1: Whoa just walked in door speaking of the dell? Yes,

603
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 1: well time, so he was just creeping in the door,

604
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 1: the little one here that we were speaking of. And

605
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 1: you know what, that's a perfect, perfect segue to us

606
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 1: wrapping up this episode, because Sabine was the one giving

607
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,040
Speaker 1: us a really hard So this was the scene a

608
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 1: little earlier. I was texting with Sabine as we were

609
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 1: getting ready to record. And as I'm texting with Sabine

610
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 1: trying to get the plan for the day, Robox starts

611
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 1: giving me dad jokes. Yes, so I start typing all

612
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:36,240
Speaker 1: these dad jokes to Sabine and she loves dad jokes.

613
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:41,400
Speaker 1: She loves them more than anything in the world. Don't

614
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 1: you bury it?

615
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 3: You live?

616
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 1: Good dad joke? So do you remember? I don't know

617
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 1: if you remember the answers to you? I got four

618
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:51,320
Speaker 1: or five here, Okay. What did Spartacus say when a

619
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 1: lion ate his wife?

620
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 2: I'm gladiator?

621
00:29:55,960 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 1: That was my favorite one scene. That's funny smiling. What

622
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 1: did the beach say when the tide came in?

623
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 2: How is it see you later?

624
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 1: What was it? Long time no sea?

625
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 2: A long time no sea? What do you give to

626
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 2: the dentist of the year a little plaque.

627
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:16,920
Speaker 1: This is.

628
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 2: She's still not laughing. See that's what dad jokes are

629
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 2: supposed to be.

630
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 1: You roll your eyes. She is doing the full row eyes. Okay,

631
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 1: the old Do you remember this one?

632
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 2: What do you call a happy cowboy, a jolly rancher?

633
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 1: Nothing?

634
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 2: Get some fast blinks?

635
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 1: Okay, this is a good one. I want to hear

636
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 1: a joke about construction. I'm still working on it.

637
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 3: Okay, she's nodding her head.

638
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 1: No, okay. Last two, Where does double O seven invest

639
00:30:57,680 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 1: his money in.

640
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 2: The market.

641
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 1: To me? Come on? Wrong? Okay? Last one? Okay, this

642
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 1: one is? This went too far? This is okay, this

643
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 1: is a little cheesy. Why did the picture go to jail?

644
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 2: He was framed a snarl.

645
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 1: She's just not even trying to participate now, But jokes.

646
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,080
Speaker 1: We hope you all had a good one. We're gonna

647
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 1: see you planning again. We can't thank you all enough.

648
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 1: We're getting a lot of getting a lot of really

649
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:36,160
Speaker 1: really and robes. You were the one that said it.

650
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 1: And I don't look at a lot of stuff. I

651
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 1: don't look at social media, I don't look at articles

652
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 1: and things. But you were you were kind of over

653
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 1: the moon and found some of the response to our

654
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 1: last few episodes very hard.

655
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 3: Felt well, I don't know if you remember when you

656
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 3: were over I guess right before Analyice left yesterday, she

657
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 3: kind of yelled out from a room because we were

658
00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:58,760
Speaker 3: talking about a podcast. She's like, you guys are getting

659
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 3: really positive comments. So I was like, wow, so I

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Speaker 3: read them sometimes that apparently my daughters are reading the

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00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 3: comments constantly, so that's a little unnerving, but it's no.

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Speaker 3: It was she was like, they were like, yay, they

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Speaker 3: were rooting for us. They were excited that it seemed

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Speaker 3: like there was a lot of real positive response, not

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Speaker 3: just to you know, the last few episodes, but I

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Speaker 3: think just you know, it's just it feels good. And

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Speaker 3: we appreciate positive comments. We appreciate people just saying that

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Speaker 3: they enjoyed this or that, and so thank you, thank you.

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Speaker 2: Keep keep those coming. We appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: And folks, you can always find us. Official Instagram page

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Speaker 1: for the show is at Amy and TJ Podcast. We

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Speaker 1: are both on our individual accounts on Instagram and TikTok

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Speaker 1: and Twitter as well. Forgive us for not being as

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Speaker 1: active in some of those places. But again thank you

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Speaker 1: for listening. That's only