1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,360 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,760 Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcast and we have. 3 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:08,039 Speaker 2: Some foundational stories coming up for you. 4 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,959 Speaker 1: But the thing is, this foundation needs a little support 5 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll 6 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:15,480 Speaker 1: get into the episode. 7 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,959 Speaker 3: I am a divorce lawyer and I accidentally dated my 8 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:20,320 Speaker 3: client's wife. 9 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 4: Oops. This happened a couple months back. 10 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:26,799 Speaker 3: For context, I'm a divorce attorney, been practicing for about 11 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 3: eight years now. Mostly family low stuff, generally pretty routine work. 12 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 3: People want to untangle their lives. I help them do 13 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,720 Speaker 3: it legally. Everyone moves on. By the way this comes from, 14 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:38,159 Speaker 3: may not be a lawyer for long. And if you 15 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:39,760 Speaker 3: want to submit your own stories, go to the our 16 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,440 Speaker 3: slash Okay Storytime subreddit. 17 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 4: And I'm Angie, I'm Dakota. 18 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:47,919 Speaker 3: I'm Sophia, and we're here to give good advice goofully, 19 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:49,880 Speaker 3: But we don't have all the answers. We're just gonna 20 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:51,599 Speaker 3: guess what we would do in this situation. Let us 21 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 3: know what you do down below. Oh piece says, let's 22 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,960 Speaker 3: flash back to last March. I took on what seemed 23 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:01,960 Speaker 3: like a straightforward dissolusion case client. I'll call Dave. Nice 24 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:04,319 Speaker 3: enough guy, been separated from his wife for over a year. 25 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:07,720 Speaker 3: Just wanted to make it official, nothing complicated, decent retainer. 26 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 3: Figured we'd have it wrapped up in a few months. 27 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 3: Dave seemed reasonable, not one of those vindictive types trying 28 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:16,399 Speaker 3: to burn everything down out of spite. Around the same time, 29 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:18,919 Speaker 3: i'd been seeing this woman, Sarah for a couple of months. 30 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 3: Met her at a coffee shop near my office. Really 31 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:23,679 Speaker 3: hit it off. She mentioned going through a divorce, but 32 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,440 Speaker 3: I didn't cry, not exactly first date conversation. You know, 33 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:29,119 Speaker 3: she had a different last name from what was in 34 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 3: my client files, so when I ran my conflicts checks, 35 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:33,399 Speaker 3: nothing flagged. 36 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:36,040 Speaker 4: Everything was going great with Sarah, really great. 37 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,480 Speaker 3: Actually, we were taking things slow, but it was heading 38 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 3: in a good direction until we scheduled the first four 39 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 3: way settlement meeting. 40 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 2: Oh no oh no, oh no oh no. 41 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 3: I walk into the conference room with Dave, chatting about 42 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 3: keeping things amicable, and there's Sarah sitting across the table 43 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 3: with her attorney. 44 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,960 Speaker 4: I literally just stopped mid sentence. 45 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,600 Speaker 3: My briefcase slipped right out of my hands and hit 46 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:03,600 Speaker 3: the floor with this loud thudd, And. 47 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 2: Then all your papers spilled out of it. And then 48 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,280 Speaker 2: and then also the building lit on fire, and then you. 49 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:10,119 Speaker 3: Peed your pants. 50 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:13,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, and then yeah, and then a bunch of little 51 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:17,959 Speaker 5: one inch men ran in and said, and they stole 52 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 5: your papers. 53 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,720 Speaker 4: Yeah. Sarah went completely white. 54 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 3: Dave looked back and forth between us for what felt 55 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 3: like an eternity, and I could see the exact moment 56 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:30,400 Speaker 3: it clicked for him. Are you effing serious right now? 57 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:34,440 Speaker 3: He says, not shouting, but definitely not pleased. Sarah started 58 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 3: tearing up. Her lawyer looked like he wanted to crawl 59 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:40,160 Speaker 3: under the table. I'm standing there feeling like the biggest 60 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:41,960 Speaker 3: moron in legal history. 61 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 4: I had to immediately excuse myself with Dave. 62 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:50,639 Speaker 3: Guy was understandably pissed, started grilling me. How long had 63 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:52,919 Speaker 3: this been going on? Did I know who she was? 64 00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:55,400 Speaker 3: Was this some kind of setup to screw him over? Oh? 65 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,720 Speaker 6: Come on, guy, did it feel like a shut up 66 00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:58,519 Speaker 6: to screw you over? 67 00:02:58,919 --> 00:02:59,399 Speaker 4: Yeah? 68 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 2: He went Hey, Olan dropped his briefcase. 69 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,359 Speaker 3: Clearly shocked. I was so shocked that I went into 70 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 3: movie mode, went into romcom movie mode. I'm trying to 71 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,320 Speaker 3: explain that I had been dating his wife for a 72 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:13,000 Speaker 3: couple of months without having any clue who she was. 73 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,799 Speaker 3: He didn't buy it at first. What kind of lawyer 74 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 3: doesn't ask basic questions? He keeps saying, I had to 75 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 3: pull out my intake notes to prove the name thing, 76 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,680 Speaker 3: show him how the conflict check works, Basically convince an 77 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 3: angry client that I am competent rather than malicious. It 78 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 3: took about twenty minutes before he finally believed it was 79 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:34,840 Speaker 3: just spectacularly bad luck. Even then, he's shaking his head, 80 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 3: muttering about how effed up this whole situation is. I 81 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:41,000 Speaker 3: explained I'd have to withdraw from his case and help 82 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 3: him find new counsel. There's no getting around it. I've 83 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:47,320 Speaker 3: got a personal relationship with the opposing party, which makes 84 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 3: it impossible for me to represent him properly. By the end, 85 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 3: he'd calmed down enough to say, this is the weirdest, 86 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 3: gosh dang thing that's ever happened to me. Still wasn't 87 00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 3: happy about starting over with the new lawyer, but he 88 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 3: understood why it had to happened. The paperwork was a nightmare. 89 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 3: I had to file a motion to withdraw since we 90 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:08,960 Speaker 3: were already in litigation, transfer all his files deal with 91 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,680 Speaker 3: refunding unused fees. Sarah and I didn't speak for two 92 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:16,360 Speaker 3: weeks after that meeting. We were both mortified. Her attorney 93 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:19,440 Speaker 3: is spent forever trying to convince himself that this wasn't 94 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 3: some elaborate scheme. Even though nobody intended for this to happen, 95 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,520 Speaker 3: it was still my screw up. I should have had 96 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:27,479 Speaker 3: better procedures to catch conflicts like this. You mess up 97 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:30,480 Speaker 3: the conflict check, you deal with the consequences. Dave texted 98 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,479 Speaker 3: me a few weeks later, but it wasn't friendly. It 99 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 3: was more like, hope you realize this completely left up 100 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 3: my timeline and I can't say I blame him. 101 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 2: Well, e though, brothers. Sometimes it's just the way it is. 102 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, complicated, will believe, isn't it? And just to add 103 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:50,600 Speaker 3: insult to injury, my malpractice insurance premium went up when 104 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:52,160 Speaker 3: I had to report the conflict. 105 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 5: Well, the only solution to this is that you never 106 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 5: date anyone ever again. 107 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,279 Speaker 6: That's you never did anyone. 108 00:04:57,320 --> 00:05:01,240 Speaker 5: You get a federally mandated wife, sure you just this 109 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:03,599 Speaker 5: is your wife, lottery, You pick a name, she's your 110 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:06,600 Speaker 5: wife now, yep, and don't worry about it. You'll never 111 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 5: have a conflict of interest again. Exactly, and that and 112 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,159 Speaker 5: that's and there and there we go. 113 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:11,800 Speaker 3: There you go. 114 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 2: Problem solved, Problem solved. 115 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 4: There are some comments put me in charge. 116 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,840 Speaker 3: Chief Challenge says, I mean you did waste a lot 117 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 3: of his money on whatever time you spent that the 118 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,920 Speaker 3: new lawyer would have to redo. Did you and Sarah 119 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 3: at least continue dating afterwards? Opie said, Sarah used another 120 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:31,840 Speaker 3: name socially that Dave had not disclosed her file had 121 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:34,279 Speaker 3: her legal name. Our check didn't catch it, and I 122 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:37,120 Speaker 3: didn't connect the dots. Her and I's relationship was less 123 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 3: emotionally involved. To keep it brief, I've been overworked and 124 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 3: dealing with more than a full caseload. Yes, I could 125 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,240 Speaker 3: have done better at preventing this from happening. This was 126 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:49,000 Speaker 3: a major f up on her end. I don't think 127 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,280 Speaker 3: she knew based on her reaction, as well as her 128 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:55,160 Speaker 3: being a workaholic too. Pretty much all communication had been 129 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,880 Speaker 3: directly between me and her counsel. No, her and I 130 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:02,360 Speaker 3: did not continue seeing each other for obvious reasons. Also, 131 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,039 Speaker 3: this is not a butt. I made a throwaway specifically 132 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 3: so this would not be traced back to me or 133 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:10,040 Speaker 3: my firm. Gray Pod says, can you explain how you 134 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 3: could have done better to keep this from happening. The 135 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,760 Speaker 3: only thing I could think of is that you would 136 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:17,040 Speaker 3: have to You would have asked her out right if 137 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:20,120 Speaker 3: your client was the man she was currently divorcing when 138 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,200 Speaker 3: she let you know about it. But that would just 139 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:24,920 Speaker 3: be weird and not something that anyone would think to ask, 140 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 3: except as a joke. Another commentarort says, if I'm a 141 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,600 Speaker 3: divorce lawyer and I'm on a date with a woman 142 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:32,240 Speaker 3: going through divorce, I one hundred percent going to make 143 00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 3: sure there's no conflicts, even if it's asking who her 144 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,159 Speaker 3: lawyer is, to make sure that you can double check 145 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:40,080 Speaker 3: on any cases with that. McDonald douglas says, if I 146 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,720 Speaker 3: was a divorce lawyer, my conflict of interests forms would 147 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,039 Speaker 3: have include maiden names and aliases. 148 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,160 Speaker 4: Why aren't you guys also smart? 149 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:47,599 Speaker 7: Yeah? 150 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 5: Yeah, wouldn't that be convenient if you were the lawyer 151 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 5: who had done that. 152 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:57,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, we got an update, But those coments definitely felt like, oh, well, well. 153 00:06:57,760 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 2: If I was a lawyer, I wouldn't be so stupid. 154 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 3: But it's like you probably wouldn't have You probably wouldn't 155 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 3: have thought about that unless you just read this. 156 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 6: Story captain hindsight. Yeah he's always right. 157 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 4: Yeah it's too late, so silly comments. 158 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 2: Always right when it doesn't matter anymore. 159 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. 160 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,800 Speaker 3: Okay, this is two months later now, So it's been 161 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 3: about seven months. Oh what since the conference room incident? 162 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,360 Speaker 3: So not two months later? 163 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:22,679 Speaker 1: Cool? 164 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 3: And people have been asking what happened? Short answer, it's 165 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 3: been a mess. About three weeks after I withdrew from 166 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:31,920 Speaker 3: Dave's case, I got called into a meeting with the 167 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 3: senior partners. Three partners are firm's general counsel and a 168 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 3: rep from our malpractice carrier. On the video call, the 169 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 3: managing partner slides a folder across the table. Opposing council 170 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 3: reported a conflict of interest issue to the state bar 171 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,040 Speaker 3: under rule eight point three. We've been notified of a 172 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,400 Speaker 3: disciplinary inquiry if Dave's new attorney bout the reports. 173 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 4: They don't get to decide what happens. 174 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,960 Speaker 3: They just report potential violations and the bar takes it 175 00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:01,760 Speaker 3: from there. I have to explain every how I met Sarah, 176 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,240 Speaker 3: how we'd been casually dating for a couple of months, 177 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,880 Speaker 3: how she used a different name socially, how my conflicts 178 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,160 Speaker 3: check on her legal name didn't flag anything because I 179 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 3: never connected the dots. The General Council is taking notes. 180 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:15,600 Speaker 3: Walk me through your conflict check process. I explained the 181 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,720 Speaker 3: intake procedures, how the system works, how Sarah's legal surname 182 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:21,239 Speaker 3: didn't match what she had told me. It sounds worse 183 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:22,600 Speaker 3: when I say it out loud. 184 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 4: This is a clear and. 185 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 3: Model Rule one point seven a two issue marital limitation conflict. 186 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 3: The General Council says you were correct to withdraw under 187 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:33,280 Speaker 3: Rule one point sixteen, but we need to understand how 188 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:37,520 Speaker 3: this wasn't caught earlier. The malpractice carrier rep unmutes will 189 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,840 Speaker 3: need to document this as a circumstance that could lead 190 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 3: to a claim. 191 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,559 Speaker 4: It'll be noted when your policy comes up for renewal. 192 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:46,680 Speaker 3: Great, how did I not know who she was? 193 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,720 Speaker 2: Because your name is like Cassandra and she was going 194 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 2: by Fiona. And then you know, what do you want 195 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:54,560 Speaker 2: from me? 196 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,479 Speaker 4: There's a lot of Sarah's in the world, all right. 197 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 2: He should have shown me a picture of her, maybe 198 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 2: Lady Sarah's. 199 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,760 Speaker 4: Okay, we didn't know each other, anyone ask about her divorce. 200 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,920 Speaker 5: From now on, I'll ask my clients show me a 201 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 5: picture of your ex wife, Shall I know I'm not. 202 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 3: Banging her exactly. The firm mandates that I complete an 203 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:19,840 Speaker 3: eight hour clee on conflicts of interest before taking any 204 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:23,640 Speaker 3: new client intakes. They've already registered me for a seminar 205 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,120 Speaker 3: that Saturday. 206 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:25,240 Speaker 4: Eight am. 207 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:28,080 Speaker 3: Of course, I show up at a hotel conference room 208 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 3: with about twenty other attorneys. One of the instructors is Patricia, 209 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:35,359 Speaker 3: a divorce attorney I've opposed a few times. She definitely 210 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 3: knows why I'm there, based on the look she gave me. 211 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 3: What do you think that look was? Yeah? I think 212 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,160 Speaker 3: so that's Patricia. 213 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:42,280 Speaker 6: Somebody's back again. 214 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 8: I see. 215 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:46,680 Speaker 3: Most of the morning is standard material rules, case law procedures. 216 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,840 Speaker 3: Then we get to case studies and Patricia brings up 217 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:54,280 Speaker 3: the inn. Ray Johnson, a twenty nineteen disciplinary matter attorney 218 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:57,520 Speaker 3: representing a divorce client, starts dating someone turns out to 219 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:00,439 Speaker 3: be the opposing party. Discovers it at a settlement conference. 220 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,360 Speaker 3: Same exact situation as mine from six years ago in 221 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,599 Speaker 3: a different state, and I wanted to sync. 222 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:06,120 Speaker 4: Through the floor. 223 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 3: Well, at least you're not alone, but at least it's 224 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:10,600 Speaker 3: in the first time this has happened. 225 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:13,920 Speaker 6: It ain't the first time, in it won't be the liast. No, 226 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:16,120 Speaker 6: it will not, It won't be the liast. 227 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 2: Let me tell you, let me you. 228 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,920 Speaker 3: At lunch, another attorney mentions he heard about something similar 229 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:24,200 Speaker 3: happening at a firm in town recently. 230 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:27,920 Speaker 2: Ah, I wonder who that could be. 231 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:30,719 Speaker 4: He doesn't know it's me, but clearly the story is 232 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:31,439 Speaker 4: getting around. 233 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:34,480 Speaker 3: I finished the seminar, pass the exam, bring the certificate 234 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,560 Speaker 3: back to the firm. A few weeks later, the bar 235 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,480 Speaker 3: sends a letter. The inquiry is closed with a private caution, 236 00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:43,320 Speaker 3: basically awarding that stays in their finals, but isn't public 237 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,520 Speaker 3: discipline could have been worse. My malpractice premium went up 238 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,760 Speaker 3: about fifteen percent when it renewed in September. The carrier 239 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 3: cited the reported disciplinary circumstance In the renewal letter. The 240 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:57,480 Speaker 3: firm implemented some new procedures for me. Specifically, for the 241 00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 3: next six months, I have to get conflicts pre by 242 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 3: the general counsel before taking on any new client. It 243 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 3: also added mandatory aka slash nickname fields to our intake 244 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:10,240 Speaker 3: forms and conflicts check system. 245 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 4: That's very smart, honestly, just in general, it's very smart. 246 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,480 Speaker 2: It's smart to check the system. 247 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:18,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, the worst part isn't the official stuff, though, it's 248 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,760 Speaker 3: that people know. Not everyone, but enough. I've been called 249 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:26,400 Speaker 3: the coffee shop lawyer twice. At bar events last month, 250 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,280 Speaker 3: opposing counsel asked if I'd met the other party before 251 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,800 Speaker 3: with this look on her face? What's the look? Yeah, 252 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,000 Speaker 3: that's it, that's the look. 253 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:34,720 Speaker 6: Have you met the other party before? 254 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:39,280 Speaker 3: Yeah? The story's definitely circulating. Some versions have me engaged 255 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:42,560 Speaker 3: to Sarah. One has me not finding out until trial. 256 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:45,720 Speaker 3: It's becoming one of those cautionary tales people tell each other. 257 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:49,000 Speaker 4: I haven't dated anyone since March. I deleted the apps 258 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:49,680 Speaker 4: before I did. 259 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,120 Speaker 3: I matched with someone who mentioned her divorce, and I 260 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:55,360 Speaker 3: immediately asked who her lawyer was. She unmatched pretty quick. 261 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,559 Speaker 3: I can't really blame her, Dave, if you see this, Sorry, man. 262 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:01,520 Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Oh Man, Sorry man. 263 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,400 Speaker 3: I hope things worked out okay for you, Sarah. 264 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:07,679 Speaker 4: Hope you're doing well. Everyone else, just ask the basic. 265 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:10,800 Speaker 3: Questions, run proper conflict checks, verify. 266 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,440 Speaker 4: Akas it's not worth it. 267 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 3: And we do have some comments from. 268 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:16,200 Speaker 2: The bow the Brew. 269 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,160 Speaker 3: Don't know what that is. 270 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 2: On boost updates, I'm the. 271 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:24,120 Speaker 4: Coming number one. 272 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,360 Speaker 3: My cousin is going through court with her ex and 273 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:28,760 Speaker 3: every time a new name appears on the paperwork, she 274 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,920 Speaker 3: calls me and the two of us hit up social 275 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:33,920 Speaker 3: media and Google, like with the FBI. I cannot imagine 276 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,280 Speaker 3: not doing that in this date and age, even just 277 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,120 Speaker 3: to get an idea of who they're up against. And 278 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 3: that's the end of that story. 279 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:43,560 Speaker 9: My coworker demanded I stop washing my hands because she's 280 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:44,840 Speaker 9: sensitive to the smell. 281 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 4: Well, do you like the smell of my dirty hands? 282 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,880 Speaker 9: I have this coworker who always says she's sensitive to smells. 283 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 9: No one's allowed to wear deodorant, let alone perfume in 284 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,520 Speaker 9: the office because she throws a mini tantrum if she 285 00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 9: smells anything except clean undiluted oxy. 286 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:01,880 Speaker 2: What does that even mean? 287 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:05,559 Speaker 3: Looking very specific and unreasonable to ask, is. 288 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,400 Speaker 2: She a bubble girl? She has to be living in 289 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 2: a bubble. 290 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:11,120 Speaker 9: Usually she just complains to the boss. Then everyone gets 291 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:15,520 Speaker 9: a generic company wide emails saying we're a sence free zone. 292 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,720 Speaker 9: Blah blah blah. I roll everyone back to work. By 293 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,120 Speaker 9: the way, this comes from educational Jello forty six. And 294 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 9: if you want to speak your own stories, go to 295 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:26,520 Speaker 9: the r slash okay stories. I'm Subreddit I'm Riley, I'm Angie. 296 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:29,000 Speaker 2: I'm Kean, and we're here to give good advice coofully. 297 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,160 Speaker 9: But we don't have all the answers. We only know 298 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 9: what we do, So let us know what you would 299 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,400 Speaker 9: do in the comments down below. As Opie says, now, 300 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,600 Speaker 9: she's been extra annoying these last few weeks. She keeps 301 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:42,040 Speaker 9: saying she smells perfume. No one will admit to wearing it. 302 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:45,679 Speaker 9: We get emails about office smells almost daily now and 303 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 9: nothing changes. 304 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:49,000 Speaker 10: So she's decided to take the law. 305 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,199 Speaker 9: Into her own hands, so to speak. Like two to 306 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,559 Speaker 9: three times a week, she starts walking up and down 307 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,560 Speaker 9: the aisles, sticks her head into each person's desks, and 308 00:13:56,640 --> 00:14:00,920 Speaker 9: takes a big and moves to the next day, all 309 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,120 Speaker 9: trying to find the culprit. 310 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:03,240 Speaker 10: You know what I'll buy those. 311 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,680 Speaker 9: I think she likes to smell things and this is 312 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,439 Speaker 9: just her way to getting around of smelling people's armpits. 313 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:12,280 Speaker 3: It's like, get me out of your funny business. It's woman. 314 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,160 Speaker 3: Do we have her name? What's her woman name? 315 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:14,680 Speaker 10: Smell? 316 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:15,480 Speaker 3: Smelly? 317 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:19,880 Speaker 10: Her name smelling smell? I don't know. Smellyana Shelley, smelly. 318 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:23,000 Speaker 8: Smelly Shelley Shelley Smelly, Shelley Smelly. 319 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:25,320 Speaker 9: On Friday, she did this again. I had just come 320 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 9: back from the bathroom when she got to my desk. 321 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,720 Speaker 9: She did her smell test on me and immediately lost it. 322 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:34,160 Speaker 9: Apparently the perfume she's been smelling the last few weeks 323 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,320 Speaker 9: was coming off of me. After she made a scene 324 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,440 Speaker 9: in front of everyone, we determined what she was smelling 325 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,920 Speaker 9: was hand soap I used in the bathroom. She had 326 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:44,640 Speaker 9: wasted enough of my time by this point, so I 327 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,520 Speaker 9: professionally told her to f off and that I'm not 328 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:51,600 Speaker 9: going to stop washing my hands because she is a hypochondriact. 329 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:55,040 Speaker 9: The way I phrase it was hand washing with soap 330 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:58,600 Speaker 9: is a non negotiable hygiene practice and I will not 331 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 9: stop doing it. I can't reasonably accept me to avoid that. 332 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:05,120 Speaker 9: This was Friday, and now I'm dreading being back tomorrow. 333 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,880 Speaker 9: Our boss was off Friday as well, so I expect 334 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,280 Speaker 9: I'm going to get pulled into a meeting. Am I 335 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,520 Speaker 9: the a hole or these just the Sunday's scaries. We 336 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:16,240 Speaker 9: have some comments Kean Angie. 337 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,960 Speaker 8: The fact that you're being clean, yeah yeah, and it's 338 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,720 Speaker 8: still like too bad for her? 339 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:21,280 Speaker 2: What? 340 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,640 Speaker 3: And it's the soap that's in the company bathroom too, 341 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 3: So it's like, okay, we'll take it up with the janitors. 342 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:32,040 Speaker 8: If one person, like if everyone's complaining about someone's hygiene 343 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,000 Speaker 8: or they smell, that's one thing, but this is one 344 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:39,160 Speaker 8: person's like vendetta. Yeah, like everything must go my way 345 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:39,720 Speaker 8: or else. 346 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:42,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, it was something so small like this. 347 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,720 Speaker 3: It's like be a remote worker at this point, go home, 348 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,520 Speaker 3: Go home and do your work there. Because I'm washed 349 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:48,280 Speaker 3: my hands after I. 350 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:51,400 Speaker 8: Peed be like, come in a hazmat soon, you know, yea. 351 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,080 Speaker 10: Honestly, come one, not the a hole. 352 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:56,120 Speaker 9: If there's an issue with the scent of the soap, 353 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,840 Speaker 9: whomever stocks it will have to get unsenseded soap. 354 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:00,440 Speaker 10: Although at this time, I'd. 355 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:05,360 Speaker 9: Say your workplace is justified in requiring medical documentation. Otherwise 356 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 9: it's time for you and your coworkers to file a 357 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:12,160 Speaker 9: complaint of intimidation and her creating a hostile workplace. Reply 358 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 9: she actually had a problem with the soap, wouldn't she 359 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,920 Speaker 9: have smelled it in herself when she washed her own 360 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:20,400 Speaker 9: hands after using the restroom. Both of you to assume 361 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:21,960 Speaker 9: she washes her hands pray can. 362 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,040 Speaker 3: Like, that's not even something that you could fix easily 363 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 3: because they probably the building, not even the company, but 364 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:29,520 Speaker 3: the building is probably in charge of hiring the cleaners 365 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,920 Speaker 3: that come in, and the cleaners probably have their whole 366 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:35,000 Speaker 3: thing about getting the soap from somewhere like that's not 367 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,320 Speaker 3: an easy request to make. 368 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,720 Speaker 10: That's crazy comment for not the a hole. 369 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:40,600 Speaker 9: You need to go to hr and amand that she 370 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 9: provide medical documentation about her sensitivity to smell. If she 371 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,160 Speaker 9: can't provide that, then she needs to keep her mouth 372 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,640 Speaker 9: shut or buy a small fan for her desk to 373 00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,400 Speaker 9: blow smells away from her. It's almost impossible to get 374 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:54,880 Speaker 9: documentation for better than average sense of smell. It is 375 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 9: not even considered how miserable or difficult it is to 376 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,720 Speaker 9: live with. That said, unless she never uses the washroom, 377 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,640 Speaker 9: she would have to have known what the issue was. 378 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,560 Speaker 9: She would have smelled it every time she went in there, 379 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:09,240 Speaker 9: possibly when she walked past the door. Even if she 380 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,120 Speaker 9: didn't use soap, which you she would have smelled it. 381 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,400 Speaker 10: There are ways to go about. 382 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:18,359 Speaker 9: This, and she's not doing anyone with these issues any 383 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,840 Speaker 9: favors and hope, he replies, your comment just made me 384 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,000 Speaker 9: realize she probably doesn't wash her hands with soap. 385 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:25,879 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'd tell her the next time she complains 386 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:26,399 Speaker 3: about you. 387 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,119 Speaker 2: So also, this woman has a gift. 388 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:32,560 Speaker 9: She has a gift, and she honestly probably should work 389 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:33,440 Speaker 9: somewhere else. 390 00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:34,720 Speaker 8: Like for the FBI or something. 391 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:41,560 Speaker 3: She should work in airports sniffing people's luckage. 392 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:45,200 Speaker 9: I was taking, like food companies or something where they 393 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,040 Speaker 9: smell things. 394 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,080 Speaker 8: I don't know, forensics, I don't know. 395 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:51,280 Speaker 9: Okay, so updates. I saw a few people asking for updates, 396 00:17:51,359 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 9: So here it is. It's not too exciting though, loll 397 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,480 Speaker 9: as I suspected. I got called into a meeting with 398 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:57,760 Speaker 9: my boss and the coworker. 399 00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:58,080 Speaker 3: Today. 400 00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,840 Speaker 9: I work at a small company, so we don't have 401 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:03,440 Speaker 9: the dedicated HR department, and our boss handles these kinds 402 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,960 Speaker 9: of issues. We ended up figuring out what happened. The 403 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,600 Speaker 9: maintenance guy for the building put new soap in the 404 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,040 Speaker 9: bathroom a couple of weeks ago. That lines up with 405 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,800 Speaker 9: when the coworker started smelling perfume in the office, So 406 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:18,000 Speaker 9: every time someone used the bathroom and washed their hands, 407 00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:21,240 Speaker 9: she thought the smell was perfume. Probably by this time 408 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,920 Speaker 9: she noticed the smell and did her investigation, the smell 409 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,960 Speaker 9: would mostly be gone. It's only hand soap and honestly 410 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:31,399 Speaker 9: doesn't smell strong, so she could never pinpoint the source. 411 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:33,960 Speaker 9: On Friday, she happened to do her smell test on 412 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,720 Speaker 9: me right as I came back from the bathroom, so 413 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,159 Speaker 9: it just happened that the smell was still strong. My 414 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:43,040 Speaker 9: boss just ended up buying new hands I think two 415 00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 9: smooth things over and placed the bottles in the bathrooms. 416 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:49,520 Speaker 9: He asked everyone to please use the new uncensored soaps 417 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,720 Speaker 9: until they can get the new ones in the bathroom changed. 418 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,640 Speaker 9: The coworker was making a bit of a scene during 419 00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,080 Speaker 9: the meeting. She kept thrusting her finger at me and 420 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,960 Speaker 9: saying things like, you don't respect me, you don't take 421 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:03,360 Speaker 9: my issue seriously, which is honestly true. I don't take 422 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:07,040 Speaker 9: her issues seriously. There are times she smells something no 423 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,760 Speaker 9: one else can smell, and she'll get angry at people using. 424 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,959 Speaker 9: Since then, I've seen her walk in the bathroom right 425 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,640 Speaker 9: after someone's spray perfume and not notice anything. Last year, 426 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 9: she also demanded everyone to stop using scented detergents at home. 427 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:23,160 Speaker 9: Oh my god, no one I talked to has stopped, 428 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 9: including myself, but she thinks everyone has and doesn't smell 429 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:32,359 Speaker 9: scented detergent anymore. Coincidentally, anyway, I'm a professional at work, 430 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:35,440 Speaker 9: so while I don't actually take her seriously, I don't 431 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:38,600 Speaker 9: express that. I feel like she was just projecting her 432 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:42,040 Speaker 9: issues with other coworkers onto me. We're not friends, but 433 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,960 Speaker 9: I don't treat her any differently. I don't even join 434 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,439 Speaker 9: when people are talking crap about her, which is a 435 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,320 Speaker 9: lot loo The only reason I sent near her is 436 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,560 Speaker 9: because everyone else has asked to move within a few 437 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:57,719 Speaker 9: weeks because she's so difficult. I can tolerate her, so 438 00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:01,200 Speaker 9: it's been my desk for a while. I asked her 439 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,399 Speaker 9: to explain what I did that makes her feel like 440 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,399 Speaker 9: I don't respect her. She couldn't come up with an 441 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:08,639 Speaker 9: answer because there isn't one, and kind of just stumbled 442 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,600 Speaker 9: on her words. Then I asked when I can expect 443 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,760 Speaker 9: an apology for embarrassing me on Friday and accusing me 444 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:18,400 Speaker 9: of not respecting her today. She ended up just walking out, 445 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,359 Speaker 9: and when I got back to my desk, her purse 446 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:22,879 Speaker 9: was gone, so I guess she just left for the day. Also, 447 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,560 Speaker 9: the Senate click until I was reading some comments on 448 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,160 Speaker 9: my original post, but I guess this whole situation means 449 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:31,720 Speaker 9: she doesn't wash her hands. Otherwise she would have smelled 450 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:34,320 Speaker 9: the soap right away. I'm glad I never had any 451 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,000 Speaker 9: of her stuff at the potlucks. 452 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 10: That's the update. 453 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:41,639 Speaker 9: And Nope, he doesn't reply to any of these comments. Nope, 454 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,359 Speaker 9: my boy behind the screen, is there an up? Like 455 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:45,320 Speaker 9: another update? 456 00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:47,240 Speaker 10: Perhaps? I feel like there might be a little bit 457 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:47,840 Speaker 10: more here. 458 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,280 Speaker 8: Let me do that for you, Riley. 459 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 9: Thanks, dude, I'm gonna get the next one up. That 460 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:53,240 Speaker 9: is absolutely insane. 461 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,200 Speaker 3: Someone said, viola complaint for her not washing her hands. 462 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,160 Speaker 3: You put up one of those like little signs. It's 463 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:01,600 Speaker 3: like all employees must wash her hands. It's usually in restaurants. 464 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:04,639 Speaker 9: But like whatever, Yeah, And honestly, this chick is probably 465 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,760 Speaker 9: such a pain in the boss's butt and for some 466 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,879 Speaker 9: reason he can't replace her, so he's just gonna do 467 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,719 Speaker 9: whatever she needs because he needs her there and she 468 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:19,040 Speaker 9: entertainment probably and then like she can leave whenever she wants, 469 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:20,640 Speaker 9: She can do whatever she wants. She can like call 470 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,280 Speaker 9: out people, imagine yelling at people at work and saying 471 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,960 Speaker 9: you don't respect me, you ye, and getting letting that 472 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:28,080 Speaker 9: just roll off. 473 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:28,440 Speaker 3: Yeah. 474 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:32,160 Speaker 8: Literally, So no update, no update. This was posted ten 475 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:32,760 Speaker 8: days ago. 476 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:40,359 Speaker 9: No, bro, we should DM pm her and be like, Yo, 477 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:41,280 Speaker 9: we need to talk. 478 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:42,800 Speaker 10: Can you please up on the pod. 479 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,920 Speaker 9: That'll be so funny if you if you'd like, like, hey, 480 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,000 Speaker 9: we just read your story. Would love to learn more 481 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,040 Speaker 9: about this. Yeah, she probably won't answer, but. 482 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:52,560 Speaker 3: Would love just at least just tell us if she's 483 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:54,000 Speaker 3: fired or if they're boy king. 484 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,639 Speaker 4: That's the two things very least I need to know. 485 00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 10: And that's the end of the story. We're gonna read 486 00:21:58,840 --> 00:21:59,479 Speaker 10: the next one. 487 00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:03,880 Speaker 3: My new management messed with our vacation and it ended 488 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,320 Speaker 3: up costing them. 489 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,720 Speaker 2: A million, make it two million. 490 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:12,240 Speaker 3: I worked at a company that gave our exorbient amounts 491 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:15,120 Speaker 3: of vacation. Anyone who works there for twenty five plus 492 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,679 Speaker 3: years received eight weeks of vacation and two weeks of 493 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,120 Speaker 3: personal time. What day. 494 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:19,680 Speaker 5: Damn. 495 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:23,000 Speaker 3: This was a family owned company, but rather large. We 496 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:26,639 Speaker 3: ran three shifts totally two hundred and fifty plus people. 497 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,080 Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Rustic Whiskey And if 498 00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:30,520 Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the 499 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,560 Speaker 3: r slash Okay Storytime. Separddits and I'm Angie. 500 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,000 Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, I'm Riley. 501 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,119 Speaker 4: And we're here to give good advice. 502 00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,280 Speaker 3: Goofiy, But we don't have all the answers, so we're 503 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:39,760 Speaker 3: just gonna guess what we would do in the situation. 504 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:41,240 Speaker 3: Let us know what you would do in the comments. 505 00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:43,879 Speaker 4: Yeah, Opie, says enter Jimmy. 506 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,040 Speaker 3: Jimmy was a grizzled old man who started at the 507 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,560 Speaker 3: company when he was just twenty old. 508 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,160 Speaker 2: Jimbo good old Jimbo. 509 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 3: Now he is sixty three and gave absolutely zero craps. 510 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,280 Speaker 3: Jimmy also knew how to make a specific part for 511 00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:02,320 Speaker 3: our product. Him and one other higher up in the office. 512 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:05,040 Speaker 3: One day, the plant owner came out and announced that 513 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,879 Speaker 3: he was selling to a corporation. He was older and 514 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,040 Speaker 3: ready to retire. He promised that there would be very 515 00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,600 Speaker 3: little change and wished us all well. The new company 516 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,520 Speaker 3: came in and immediately went after many of the great 517 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:17,440 Speaker 3: benefits we had. 518 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,919 Speaker 4: Of course, they did got really great benefits. 519 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,159 Speaker 3: The first thing they did was cut everyone's max vacation 520 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,520 Speaker 3: down to four weeks and completely did away with personal time. 521 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,560 Speaker 3: Anyone who was maxed out had until December thirty first 522 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,280 Speaker 3: of that year to use it up, and. 523 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:33,440 Speaker 4: They wouldn't pay it out. 524 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:36,800 Speaker 3: They then went into the office and cleaned house firing 525 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:40,920 Speaker 3: anyone who was close to retirement, including Jimmy's backup. 526 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:41,960 Speaker 4: That's illegal. 527 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:42,880 Speaker 2: I don't know. 528 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:44,639 Speaker 4: I feel like that's agism. 529 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,119 Speaker 3: Yes, right, you know. 530 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:47,840 Speaker 6: Corporations are scum. 531 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,040 Speaker 3: I guess you could fire him for like different reasons, 532 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:51,320 Speaker 3: but not smart. 533 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,760 Speaker 2: Got fi hi because it makes my bottom line. Say 534 00:23:54,000 --> 00:24:00,080 Speaker 2: ooh oohoo, yummy, yummy. 535 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:08,320 Speaker 3: Sure, happli. But they also did away with one very 536 00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:12,359 Speaker 3: important rule. You no longer had to get vacation approved. 537 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,439 Speaker 3: You could just call in and take it. Jimmy was 538 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:19,280 Speaker 3: pissed and they knew it. They realized he was the 539 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:21,400 Speaker 3: only one in the building who could do his job now, 540 00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:23,720 Speaker 3: so they hired a new kid for him to train, 541 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:27,399 Speaker 3: most likely to permanently replace Jimmy. So Jimmy did what 542 00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,720 Speaker 3: anyone would do. He called in on the first training 543 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:31,679 Speaker 3: day for the new hire and let us know that 544 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,600 Speaker 3: he was going to use all of his PTO at once. 545 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:38,520 Speaker 3: He promptly took ten weeks off. We had a backstock 546 00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,680 Speaker 3: of parts that he had made, so it wasn't too unnerving. 547 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,760 Speaker 3: But for ten weeks Jimmy went and applied to other jobs, 548 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:48,520 Speaker 3: found one and started working there. Fast forward ten weeks. 549 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,240 Speaker 3: It was the day Jimmy was supposed to return. He 550 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:53,600 Speaker 3: didn't for two days. They tried calling him and even 551 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,800 Speaker 3: went to his house. He was nowhere to be found. Finally, 552 00:24:56,920 --> 00:25:00,879 Speaker 3: on day three he called and resigned, and they lost 553 00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:02,240 Speaker 3: their crap. 554 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:06,480 Speaker 2: Dude, you Jimmy make sweat Jimmy. 555 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,600 Speaker 3: Honestly, yeah, because I'm thinking it's like, okay, well, the 556 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,520 Speaker 3: fact that he could do that is honestly pretty insane, 557 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:15,240 Speaker 3: and that does make me think that like maybe the 558 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:19,280 Speaker 3: like vacation like process that they had set up was 559 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,800 Speaker 3: like not the best because someone could do that. But 560 00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:24,199 Speaker 3: if it was like a family owned thing, even though 561 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:27,160 Speaker 3: it was like a bigger, successful company, it's like it's 562 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,080 Speaker 3: if it's a family thing, it's probably like, oh, no, 563 00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:31,080 Speaker 3: we're hiring people that we trust and that we like, 564 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,320 Speaker 3: and I want to give them this time off. 565 00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:35,520 Speaker 6: You know, Jimmy did that for the people, for the 566 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,440 Speaker 6: people who were fired. 567 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,679 Speaker 3: The parts he made were specialized and patented by the 568 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 3: original founder. You couldn't just hire someone off the street 569 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,080 Speaker 3: to make them. What eventually happened was they had to 570 00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:48,800 Speaker 3: contract the original owner to come in and teach some 571 00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,400 Speaker 3: new hires how to make them. When he found out. 572 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:53,440 Speaker 4: What they had done, it pissed him up. 573 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:57,480 Speaker 3: Last I heard he charged them a seven figure contract 574 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,640 Speaker 3: to teach them how to produce the part, and they 575 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:08,240 Speaker 3: had to pony up or closed out. Why, oh my gosh, 576 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:09,800 Speaker 3: that's crazy, And. 577 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:13,720 Speaker 6: That's what you gave for being a bloodsucking bag corporation. 578 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:15,560 Speaker 3: That is so crazy. 579 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:19,119 Speaker 6: Yeah, all of them are like that. This one certainly was. 580 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:22,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, oh my god. Moral of the story, don't mess 581 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:25,240 Speaker 3: with people's vacation time. And there is an edit here. 582 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:29,080 Speaker 3: Jimmy made an electronic control module that was sealed and 583 00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:32,240 Speaker 3: fixed in a pored unit made of a two part 584 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:36,359 Speaker 3: epoxy Edit number two. Jimmy didn't exactly miss out on 585 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:39,680 Speaker 3: a seven figure contract and had zero chance to take one. 586 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:43,080 Speaker 3: He left, said f and moved on. When they contacted 587 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,879 Speaker 3: the previous owner and explained the situation, it was basically 588 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,959 Speaker 3: a union in my houp, it'll cost one million dollars 589 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:53,200 Speaker 3: type of conversation some of Opie's comments. One commentary says, 590 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,879 Speaker 3: so they never tried to contact the backup and re 591 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,920 Speaker 3: hire him, Opie said, Honestly, I never asked, nor was 592 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,680 Speaker 3: I informed. He was like sixty five and had also 593 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:04,040 Speaker 3: been there for forty plus years, so I'm sure they did. 594 00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:06,040 Speaker 3: Why he didn't come back, I'm not sure. 595 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:08,760 Speaker 5: I'm he didn't come back because you probably heard about 596 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:10,720 Speaker 5: all this stuff they did. 597 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:11,760 Speaker 2: I'm not gonna do that. 598 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,240 Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, they fired him. 599 00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,960 Speaker 5: That was you want me to work for the Legion 600 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,840 Speaker 5: of Evil? No, right, get out of here. 601 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:21,800 Speaker 3: My guess is he was bitter and doing just fine 602 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:25,359 Speaker 3: in early retirement. Another commenturer says, Jimmy is my spirit animal. 603 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:26,439 Speaker 2: You wish. 604 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,480 Speaker 3: Opie says. Our factory was next to another factory. In 605 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,560 Speaker 3: between them was a giant gravel lot owned by the city, 606 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,560 Speaker 3: and they let both factories use it for excess parking. 607 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,639 Speaker 3: One time, Jimmy was walking out of the building and 608 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,800 Speaker 3: a coworker told him that their boss was coming to 609 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,080 Speaker 3: find him or to let him know that he needed 610 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,400 Speaker 3: to clock back in and stay over to finish some work, 611 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,040 Speaker 3: which was about two to three hours. Jimmy hustled out 612 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,680 Speaker 3: to his truck and waited. When the boss walked up, 613 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:53,480 Speaker 3: Jimmy looked him in the face, pulled a forty out 614 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:55,639 Speaker 3: of a cooler in the bed of his truck, and 615 00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,399 Speaker 3: slammed it. Now, I didn't get to see this. I 616 00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,560 Speaker 3: was just told about it. Rumor has it that they 617 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,720 Speaker 3: just stood and stared at each other for a minute 618 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,280 Speaker 3: before the boss shook his head and walked back in. 619 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:07,320 Speaker 3: Since he was in the gravel lot and not on 620 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:10,480 Speaker 3: company property, there wasn't anything that they could do. Jimmy 621 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:15,639 Speaker 3: was hard, but another commenter says, I'm cool with not 622 00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,200 Speaker 3: being taken advantage of, but Jimmy was being a wiener 623 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,120 Speaker 3: in this instance, or worked out of place that he 624 00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:23,520 Speaker 3: didn't like respect and probably should have quit a long 625 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:23,880 Speaker 3: time ago. 626 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:26,440 Speaker 2: G did you even read the story, nincompoopish? 627 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:28,680 Speaker 3: No, he did it. No, he did it. The nincompoopis 628 00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:30,200 Speaker 3: didn't even read this story. 629 00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:33,240 Speaker 2: Head nincompoop Nincumpoop Universities. I bet he. 630 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:36,240 Speaker 3: Doesn't even know how to read this nincompoop because after this, 631 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:39,600 Speaker 3: Jimmy shouldn't be driving himself home. Hey, if your company 632 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,440 Speaker 3: f's you around, I get it, But if they're halfway decent, 633 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,520 Speaker 3: you could return the favor the rest of us who 634 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,800 Speaker 3: want decent places to work, who don't hate the world 635 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:47,959 Speaker 3: every morning we wake up. 636 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,040 Speaker 4: Ope response, I have no idea. 637 00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:52,200 Speaker 3: If he drove, his wife worked across the street, and 638 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:54,959 Speaker 3: his brother worked there with him, so I honestly couldn't 639 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:56,680 Speaker 3: say he did leave his truck there at the end 640 00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:58,920 Speaker 3: of the week a lot and ride with others to 641 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,000 Speaker 3: the bar or a river, So I couldn't tell you. 642 00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,200 Speaker 3: I never saw him drink and drive, but that doesn't 643 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,360 Speaker 3: mean he didn't. On the other hand, I completely agree 644 00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:07,520 Speaker 3: with how he handled it. He was already clocked out 645 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:10,040 Speaker 3: for the weekend and halfway to his truck when they 646 00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,520 Speaker 3: decided to make him stay over time. He could have 647 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 3: said no, but he made a statement instead. The company 648 00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:19,360 Speaker 3: was bad about alerting you to overtime. They'd come out 649 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:22,160 Speaker 3: while you were waiting in line at the time clock 650 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:25,040 Speaker 3: and pull you for a double and this was before 651 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:25,600 Speaker 3: the takeover. 652 00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:26,320 Speaker 4: Out of all the. 653 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,760 Speaker 3: Good reasons to work there, that was one of the 654 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:32,320 Speaker 3: few bad things. Another commentary says firing everyone at retirement 655 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:36,920 Speaker 3: age is majorly illegal in the US. Age discrimination Ope says, well, 656 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,480 Speaker 3: here's the thing. I live in an at will state. 657 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:41,920 Speaker 3: They can come in and fire you at any time 658 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,920 Speaker 3: and are required to give zero reasoning. They usually give 659 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:48,120 Speaker 3: you bs reasons, though, such as we've eliminated this position, 660 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:50,440 Speaker 3: or the company is going in a different direction. They 661 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 3: never say you're too old to cover their own butt. 662 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,280 Speaker 3: Granted you could take it to court, but you would 663 00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,560 Speaker 3: probably lose. It's sad and unfair edits. I should have 664 00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:00,719 Speaker 3: stated this earlier, but I didn't think think it was relevant. 665 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:03,360 Speaker 3: I fired other people as well, probably ten to fifteen 666 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:06,040 Speaker 3: people who had worked there for over like ten years. 667 00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:08,959 Speaker 3: But the thing is, they hired people to replace almost 668 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,120 Speaker 3: everyone that they fired, who were of all ages. It 669 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,880 Speaker 3: was more to cut costs than to discriminate against age. 670 00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:18,240 Speaker 3: People who had been there for multiple years had received raises, 671 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,960 Speaker 3: and we're talking dollars, not cents like most American companies. 672 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,760 Speaker 3: So they hired new people at the starting wage and 673 00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:28,040 Speaker 3: saved a buck. Oh I see. So they were giving 674 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:30,479 Speaker 3: some people that they kept raises and they didn't want 675 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:31,440 Speaker 3: to get everyone a raise. 676 00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:33,960 Speaker 5: They fired all the people who had earned raises by 677 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,240 Speaker 5: being good at their jobs and replaced them with people 678 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:37,520 Speaker 5: who were worse at their jobs. 679 00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:39,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, they could pay them less. 680 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:40,880 Speaker 10: That's because that's Chris. 681 00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:43,560 Speaker 5: All about that bottom line. Oh my god, you're looking 682 00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:45,640 Speaker 5: for a fat bottom line. 683 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,880 Speaker 9: That money, money, money, All about that money, money, money, 684 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:51,160 Speaker 9: got to make that money money money. 685 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:55,239 Speaker 5: Bottom line, money, money, the bottom line. 686 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:02,440 Speaker 3: That man over there on my own open am shoe. 687 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,800 Speaker 3: We I guess the case could have still been made 688 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:07,280 Speaker 3: against him, though another commentary says, as an old guy 689 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:10,080 Speaker 3: who has been a tech exec at dozens of companies, 690 00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:14,000 Speaker 3: including being brought in on takeovers, let me confirm that 691 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:17,600 Speaker 3: this is so real, not as bad as entitled next 692 00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:21,680 Speaker 3: generation owner whelps who haven't a clue about running anything 693 00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:24,240 Speaker 3: and then go firing key people in a hissy fit, 694 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,400 Speaker 3: crippling the company. Both outsiders and next gen owners have 695 00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:30,560 Speaker 3: rarely a clue about the secret sauce that made the 696 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:34,040 Speaker 3: original owner so successful. Better than average vacation or share 697 00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:38,480 Speaker 3: options make for far better employees. Alter that at your peril, 698 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,160 Speaker 3: Opie says, I agree one hundred percent. 699 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,920 Speaker 4: This guy started this company in his basement in his. 700 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:48,120 Speaker 3: Late fifties and made it a five hundred million dollar company. 701 00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:49,880 Speaker 3: Oh my god, this guy has. 702 00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:53,160 Speaker 2: To be working in defense. There's no way this guy's guy. 703 00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:55,640 Speaker 6: Contracts. 704 00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:59,720 Speaker 3: We had great benefits, great employees, slash employer relations, and 705 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:03,360 Speaker 3: the lowest turnover rate I've ever seen. The new corporation 706 00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:06,080 Speaker 3: made it one of the worst places to work in 707 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:08,520 Speaker 3: the area. I still have friends that work there, and 708 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:12,480 Speaker 3: they just tried and failed to unionize that's a still 709 00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:15,600 Speaker 3: developing story for another day. Though apparently they crossed some 710 00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:17,520 Speaker 3: lines and possibly broke some laws. 711 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,840 Speaker 4: Maybe karmobiles strike again and more. 712 00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,080 Speaker 3: On the part that Jimmy made, It was a control 713 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:25,600 Speaker 3: module that was handmade and had to be sealed to 714 00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:29,600 Speaker 3: be dropped into a two part epoxy. They honestly probably 715 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:32,200 Speaker 3: could have reverse engineered it, but my guess is they 716 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,400 Speaker 3: were crunched for time. I know we had a lot 717 00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:37,800 Speaker 3: of backed up orders in multiple departments, and we do. 718 00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:40,840 Speaker 4: Have an update for over four years later. 719 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:42,400 Speaker 2: Yeah. 720 00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,840 Speaker 3: I hope they go under or they like get new, 721 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,080 Speaker 3: better management or something. 722 00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:50,320 Speaker 2: I just want to know what's up with Jimmy. Oh Jimmy. 723 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, if he's still willing to work, I hope he's 724 00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:52,760 Speaker 4: owning the. 725 00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:55,040 Speaker 10: Place now he owns He owns his own place. 726 00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:56,760 Speaker 6: Now, he started a different place. 727 00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,120 Speaker 2: He owns that place. He waited the new place owns 728 00:32:59,120 --> 00:32:59,840 Speaker 2: that place. 729 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:03,280 Speaker 3: All right. Updates four years later. Over four years later, 730 00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:06,600 Speaker 3: Jimmy is still around here. I see him from time 731 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,080 Speaker 3: to time, especially at the local watering hole. 732 00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:12,640 Speaker 2: Ooh year, that's classic Jimmy. 733 00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:15,920 Speaker 4: He's still and is still his old self. 734 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:19,120 Speaker 3: The company we worked for had a major restructuring about 735 00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,440 Speaker 3: two years ago, and things have gotten better there, so 736 00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:24,520 Speaker 3: Jimmy went back. I myself have moved on to bigger 737 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:27,840 Speaker 3: and better things, but after constant contact from their new 738 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:30,960 Speaker 3: HR and talent recruitment program asking me to come back, 739 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:33,200 Speaker 3: I've decided to at least have a sit down with them. 740 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:35,400 Speaker 3: I showed Jimmy this post one night, and his reaction 741 00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:39,400 Speaker 3: was comical in itself. He said, those f tards didn't 742 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,440 Speaker 3: know who they were resting with. They sure is Heck no. 743 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,520 Speaker 4: Now, yeah, that's right. 744 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:46,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, man, that's Jimmy. You tell him. 745 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:47,360 Speaker 4: Jimmy. 746 00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,840 Speaker 3: Take in mind, he was probably two buckets in at 747 00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:52,520 Speaker 3: this point, and there is a little bit more to 748 00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:54,400 Speaker 3: the story of Toy. Of any final thoughts either of 749 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:55,360 Speaker 3: you before we go on. 750 00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:58,840 Speaker 2: Go Jimbo, Go Jombo, Go Jomba. Le's go Jimbo. 751 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:01,959 Speaker 3: At the time of his re employment, they were shaking 752 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,320 Speaker 3: things up due to a scare that the employees had 753 00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:07,440 Speaker 3: brought a union in and we're gearing up to vote 754 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:10,319 Speaker 3: on the matter. Part of his stipulations for going back 755 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:13,400 Speaker 3: were the reinstatement of all the benefits he had lost 756 00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:16,319 Speaker 3: and the dealing with two of the problem higher ups 757 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:19,040 Speaker 3: an issue that had been brought up by several other 758 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,879 Speaker 3: employees at the time. Two weeks after he started back, 759 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,400 Speaker 3: both were walked out of the building and told not 760 00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:25,240 Speaker 3: to return. 761 00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:29,920 Speaker 5: That's right, that's right, Jimbo said, you gotta go on 762 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:31,080 Speaker 5: your butts, Jimbo. 763 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,839 Speaker 2: Jimbo's here now. Jimbo was running the ship. Mm hmm, 764 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:35,320 Speaker 2: you gotta go, Sonny. 765 00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:38,359 Speaker 3: I can imagine the smile on his face as he 766 00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:41,520 Speaker 3: waved goodbye to both of them. I'll be working by 767 00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:43,719 Speaker 3: his side in the near future. If things go well, 768 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:47,000 Speaker 3: maybe I'll even ask for more vacation time. And that's 769 00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:49,240 Speaker 3: the end of that story. That was a good one. 770 00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:51,839 Speaker 2: Hey y'all, it's John og Host here. We're gonna get 771 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:53,359 Speaker 2: back to the stories. But here's a quick three minute 772 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:54,640 Speaker 2: break from as for more sponsors. 773 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,719 Speaker 7: My boyfriend secretly catfished my stalker to toy. 774 00:34:58,560 --> 00:34:59,440 Speaker 4: With his feelings. 775 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:00,960 Speaker 10: Fire with Fire. 776 00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:04,120 Speaker 7: I twenty eight female broke up with my ex twenty 777 00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:07,280 Speaker 7: eight male ten months ago, but he will not get 778 00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,160 Speaker 7: over it. Despite me wishing to no longer interact with 779 00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:13,000 Speaker 7: my ex and even though I'm dating someone new Cole 780 00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:15,680 Speaker 7: twenty nine mail, my ex has been trying to whip 781 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:18,200 Speaker 7: me back by doing over the top things like sending 782 00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:23,239 Speaker 7: me gift baskets, love letters, chocolates, et cetera, even though 783 00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:26,480 Speaker 7: I've blocked his number, blocked him on all social media, 784 00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:29,880 Speaker 7: and always ignore his attempts to woo me with his gifts. 785 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:32,359 Speaker 7: By the way, this comes from deceased Caterpillar. And if 786 00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:33,840 Speaker 7: you want to submit your own stories, go to the 787 00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:35,600 Speaker 7: r slash Okay storytime separate it. 788 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:39,160 Speaker 4: I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, I'm Keon, and we're here. 789 00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:41,040 Speaker 7: To give good advice Goofley, but we don't have all 790 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:43,080 Speaker 7: the answers. We only know what we'd do, So let 791 00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:45,399 Speaker 7: us know what you would do in the comments. Oh, 792 00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:49,319 Speaker 7: he says he never actually interacts with me directly, never 793 00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:51,799 Speaker 7: waits for me outside or tries to talk to me. 794 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,759 Speaker 7: He just leaves gifts at our doorstep and runs away. 795 00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:58,400 Speaker 7: It's creepy and makes me super uncomfortable. Cole, who I 796 00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,680 Speaker 7: live with, doesn't actually see an issue with this and 797 00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:04,319 Speaker 7: says he feels bad for my ex and doesn't want 798 00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:06,880 Speaker 7: me to waste my ex's money or efforts. So I 799 00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:10,320 Speaker 7: reluctantly just let Cole eat the chocolates and other stuff 800 00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:13,080 Speaker 7: since he insists I don't throw them out. He even 801 00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:15,359 Speaker 7: likes reading the love letters, even though I tell him 802 00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:17,480 Speaker 7: I don't want to. I don't understand why he's so 803 00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:20,439 Speaker 7: chill about this because my ex and Coal aren't even 804 00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:23,680 Speaker 7: friends and have never interacted, So it makes no sense 805 00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:26,920 Speaker 7: why he's okay with my ex doing these dumb gestures 806 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:30,480 Speaker 7: that he knows make me uncomfortable and creeped out. If anything, 807 00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:33,160 Speaker 7: Cole should be pissed off that someone is trying to 808 00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:36,839 Speaker 7: steal his girlfriend. Right anyway, all of this finally came 809 00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:39,359 Speaker 7: to a head on my birthday. After work, I came 810 00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:44,000 Speaker 7: home to our apartment decorated with balloons, chocolates, and flowers. 811 00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,719 Speaker 7: I was immediately touched, thinking all of this was the 812 00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:50,520 Speaker 7: surprise from Coal. Nope, apparently my ex actually came over 813 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,960 Speaker 7: with all this stuff, buzzed our apartment doorbell, and Coal 814 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:56,839 Speaker 7: let him in. Then my ex left before I got home. 815 00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:00,799 Speaker 7: Cole apparently saw no issue with this. You literally let 816 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,319 Speaker 7: my ex into our apartment like it was no big 817 00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:05,520 Speaker 7: deal because my ex came all the way with all 818 00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:08,680 Speaker 7: these gifts, which was such a thoughtful gesture. Now I 819 00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:11,680 Speaker 7: feel totally unsafe. What if my ex secretly left a 820 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:14,960 Speaker 7: hidden camera or something. I have no idea why Coal 821 00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:17,000 Speaker 7: is so fine with all of this. I've talked to 822 00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,680 Speaker 7: him over and over and he won't understand why I 823 00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:22,760 Speaker 7: would want to reject free stuff from someone who clearly 824 00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:25,239 Speaker 7: creeps me out. I love Cole, but the fact that 825 00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:28,400 Speaker 7: he actually let my ex into our apartment was a 826 00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:31,040 Speaker 7: huge breach of my trust, and I have no clue 827 00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:35,000 Speaker 7: how to deal with this. Is this relationship just unsalvagable 828 00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:36,600 Speaker 7: or is there a way I can get it through 829 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:39,920 Speaker 7: Cole's head that none of this is okay? Could Cole 830 00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:43,120 Speaker 7: have ulterior motives by letting my ex do all these things? 831 00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:45,680 Speaker 7: Any advice is welcome. I just have no clue how 832 00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:50,080 Speaker 7: to handle this absurd situation. Thanks, and there is an edit. 833 00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,520 Speaker 7: I don't have the money to do everything that was recommended, 834 00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:55,160 Speaker 7: but I am going to do some investigating into Coal 835 00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,239 Speaker 7: in my ex possibly being in cahoots with each other, 836 00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:02,680 Speaker 7: and confront Col this weekend, likely to end this cluster 837 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:06,880 Speaker 7: of a relationship. The consensus is, don't even try to 838 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:11,080 Speaker 7: save the relationship and stay safe. Comments by op why 839 00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:14,000 Speaker 7: she's already living with Coal? Cost of living mostly I 840 00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:16,360 Speaker 7: live in a very expensive city, so I was living 841 00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:19,000 Speaker 7: month to month on my own. He basically offered to 842 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,040 Speaker 7: be my roommate so that we can go half and 843 00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:24,440 Speaker 7: half on the rent internet utilities and it would relieve 844 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,319 Speaker 7: my financial stress, which it has a lot. It might 845 00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:30,200 Speaker 7: have been stupid to jump the pew pew at us 846 00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:32,920 Speaker 7: moving in so quickly, but he had only shown green 847 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,640 Speaker 7: flags until now. I can technically punt him out and 848 00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:38,600 Speaker 7: try to look for a different roommate if things are 849 00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,680 Speaker 7: totally done for, since most of the stuff in our 850 00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:44,759 Speaker 7: apartment is mine I mentioned above, It was mostly to 851 00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,040 Speaker 7: do with the cost of living in an expensive city 852 00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,319 Speaker 7: that we moved in quickly. I've known Coal for a 853 00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:52,200 Speaker 7: couple of years as a friendly coworker and gaming buddy, 854 00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:55,000 Speaker 7: and then started dating him eight months ago. I thought 855 00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:57,920 Speaker 7: I knew him well enough, but apparently not. I meant 856 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:02,120 Speaker 7: he only showed green flag before we started properly dating 857 00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:05,080 Speaker 7: and we moved in together before this whole stocker mess. 858 00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:09,000 Speaker 7: He was, or at least pretended to be thoughtful, funny, helpful, 859 00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:11,319 Speaker 7: and sweet, the type who if you told him you 860 00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:13,520 Speaker 7: had a hard day, he'd offer a shoulder massage and 861 00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:16,080 Speaker 7: let you vent to him. It wasn't until this stocker 862 00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:18,560 Speaker 7: x stuff that he showed such a disregard for my 863 00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:21,799 Speaker 7: safety and comfort. I've been with Cole for almost eight months. 864 00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:24,520 Speaker 7: At this point, I have no idea how the two 865 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:27,280 Speaker 7: of them could have met, since they don't share any friends, 866 00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:31,200 Speaker 7: went to different schools, work totally different jobs, and have 867 00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:35,000 Speaker 7: completely different interests unless they secretly became friends while my 868 00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:37,880 Speaker 7: ex has been stalking me and he's hidden that from me, 869 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:41,319 Speaker 7: which would just be absolutely ridiculous because who would want 870 00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,439 Speaker 7: to be friends with the guy who's stalking and trying 871 00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:44,799 Speaker 7: to steal your girlfriend? 872 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,080 Speaker 4: But at this point, I have no idea anymore. 873 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,640 Speaker 7: Another commoner asks if Opie is sure her ex was 874 00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,120 Speaker 7: in the apartment, and Opie responds, I mean all of 875 00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:56,360 Speaker 7: the love letters and signed tags are in my ex's handwriting, 876 00:39:56,840 --> 00:39:59,399 Speaker 7: so unless someone has copied his handwriting down to. 877 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:01,440 Speaker 4: A tee that I I'm pretty sure it's my ex. 878 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:03,759 Speaker 7: Cole has been the one eating all the edibles and 879 00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:07,000 Speaker 7: interacting with the gifts. I do not even touch them. Well, 880 00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:09,480 Speaker 7: my initial thought is maybe he wanted to keep my 881 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,399 Speaker 7: ex'es gifts around so he could get free chocolates eat. 882 00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:15,560 Speaker 7: At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he's actually 883 00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:18,680 Speaker 7: that careless. His friends already know about all this and 884 00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:20,759 Speaker 7: seem to think it's funny that my ex is such 885 00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:23,600 Speaker 7: a try hard. His family lives across the country, but 886 00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:26,160 Speaker 7: I could try texting them. My ex was easy to 887 00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:28,480 Speaker 7: break up with because I had only been dating him 888 00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:32,600 Speaker 7: two months before he pulled some absolutely dumb crap that 889 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,759 Speaker 7: pissed me off so much I felt no remorse in 890 00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:38,040 Speaker 7: dumping him instantly. I'm sure you were only did in this, Yeah, 891 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:38,800 Speaker 7: for two months. 892 00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:40,480 Speaker 10: This makes no sense. 893 00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:44,200 Speaker 4: Now two months and he is stalking you ten months later. 894 00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:46,520 Speaker 10: There's something underneath happening. 895 00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:47,760 Speaker 3: This is scary. 896 00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:51,560 Speaker 10: Do you think Cole and your ex are cousins? 897 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:52,800 Speaker 3: Maybe? 898 00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:53,440 Speaker 5: I don't know. 899 00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:56,000 Speaker 3: There's just throw out. Let's throw out all of those theories. 900 00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:58,600 Speaker 9: Yeah, there's like there's just a bigger picture we're just 901 00:40:58,719 --> 00:40:59,960 Speaker 9: not seeing right. 902 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:01,160 Speaker 10: Something else is going on. 903 00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:04,600 Speaker 7: Yeah, with Cole, it's a bit different since I've known 904 00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:06,799 Speaker 7: him years before dating and thought he was a really 905 00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:10,399 Speaker 7: great guy until now. He's genuinely sweet and every other 906 00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:14,759 Speaker 7: way except this one thing. But this one thing is 907 00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:18,360 Speaker 7: definitely bad enough to outweigh the good things. It just sucks, 908 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:20,400 Speaker 7: But I have to think about my safety. 909 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:20,760 Speaker 3: First. 910 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:24,280 Speaker 7: My boyfriend is work from home, so there's a chance 911 00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:26,520 Speaker 7: he caught my ex while he was dropping things off 912 00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:29,279 Speaker 7: and they talked. He denies that, but I'm becoming more 913 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:32,560 Speaker 7: and more paranoid now, and I'm definitely going to see 914 00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:35,440 Speaker 7: what I can do to end this relationship in case 915 00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:38,279 Speaker 7: they are secretly in good I'm becoming more and more 916 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:41,080 Speaker 7: paranoid that they have somehow come into contact. If Cole 917 00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:44,560 Speaker 7: caught my ex while he was dropping stuff off previously 918 00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:47,799 Speaker 7: and then became buddies, it makes no sense in my head. 919 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:50,320 Speaker 7: But neither does any of this crap. It's all so 920 00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:53,640 Speaker 7: nonsensical that I could believe anything. At this point, I 921 00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:55,640 Speaker 7: don't have the money to break my lease, but I 922 00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,399 Speaker 7: can punt Coal out since he's not on the lease. 923 00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:04,000 Speaker 7: And there is an update three days later, but definitely, 924 00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:07,359 Speaker 7: I think definitely punt Cole out. He's not on the least, 925 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:09,239 Speaker 7: get him out of there, get him out, you're the 926 00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,400 Speaker 7: only one in the least, and then you can There's 927 00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:13,960 Speaker 7: like so many people that are always looking for a 928 00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:14,640 Speaker 7: place to live. 929 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,560 Speaker 9: Especially you said you're in an expensive city, so that's 930 00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:18,280 Speaker 9: very popular. 931 00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:20,000 Speaker 10: Oh yeah, Facebook groups. 932 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,200 Speaker 7: I don't think it will be that hard to find, 933 00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:25,480 Speaker 7: you know, someone to share your place, but you know, 934 00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:28,800 Speaker 7: maybe do a little do a little check in on them, 935 00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:31,719 Speaker 7: see if maybe friend of a friend if you can. 936 00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:35,560 Speaker 9: Yeah, I'm just confused. 937 00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:38,120 Speaker 10: How you get a stalker after two months? 938 00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:38,439 Speaker 2: Yeah? 939 00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:41,279 Speaker 10: And your boyfriend of eight months should just let him 940 00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:44,719 Speaker 10: do whatever? Yeah, Hella did. They has been the whole 941 00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:47,240 Speaker 10: ten months that he's been doing this crab. It seems 942 00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:49,080 Speaker 10: so okay. I wasn't sure if it picked up within 943 00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:53,399 Speaker 10: the Yeah, maybe I'm not sure. Yeah, I'm just at 944 00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:56,360 Speaker 10: a loss. Hopefully this update clears up some things. 945 00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,120 Speaker 7: I hope you get your break up with this X 946 00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:02,759 Speaker 7: and he doesn't. I hope you don't have two stockers. 947 00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:07,120 Speaker 7: Update three days later. When I got back home on Friday, 948 00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,040 Speaker 7: I tried to come up with a good plan to 949 00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:12,360 Speaker 7: keep myself safe while I confronted Coal. A lot of 950 00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:14,400 Speaker 7: people put the fear of God into me in the 951 00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:18,120 Speaker 7: comments of my last post. I invited my very tall 952 00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:21,120 Speaker 7: and intimidating younger brother over to be there while I 953 00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,960 Speaker 7: talked to Cole. My brother couldn't come over until Sunday, 954 00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:26,400 Speaker 7: so I spent a day and half awkwardly trying to 955 00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:29,799 Speaker 7: pretend everything was fine, but Cole kept asking me what 956 00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:33,200 Speaker 7: was wrong and love bombing me. Eventually, Sunday came around, 957 00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:36,319 Speaker 7: my brother showed up and we grilled Coal about why 958 00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:39,359 Speaker 7: the heck he's been so fine with my ex, coming 959 00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:42,320 Speaker 7: around with gifts and even letting him in to decorate 960 00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:43,920 Speaker 7: our apartment for my birthday. 961 00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:46,120 Speaker 4: I was not ready. 962 00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,200 Speaker 7: All of you had a lot of theories, one of 963 00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:52,239 Speaker 7: which was that the two knew each other and or 964 00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:55,399 Speaker 7: were working together. If anything, I would have rather been 965 00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:59,840 Speaker 7: the case because the truth is so much more messed up. Basically, 966 00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:03,440 Speaker 7: Cole has been fixated on my ex, which is what 967 00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:06,239 Speaker 7: you said you were like, he's into those love letters, man, 968 00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:09,680 Speaker 7: but why love letters have been working just not on 969 00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:16,440 Speaker 7: op He has essentially been stalking my stalker. Cole admitted 970 00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:20,360 Speaker 7: that he made fake social media accounts, yes multiple, to 971 00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:23,880 Speaker 7: follow my ex and has been stalking his Instagram and Facebook. 972 00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:24,319 Speaker 5: Why. 973 00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:26,839 Speaker 7: Apparently my ex has been making a lot of vent 974 00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:28,920 Speaker 7: posts about me and how hurt he is that I'm 975 00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,920 Speaker 7: not returning his feelings, and Cole has been egging him 976 00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,400 Speaker 7: on with his alt accounts to get my ex to 977 00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:37,640 Speaker 7: keep trying the reason my ex is still stalking me 978 00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,279 Speaker 7: is because Cole has literally been telling him to on 979 00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:43,880 Speaker 7: his fake accounts. It's obvious my ex is unstable if 980 00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:47,240 Speaker 7: he's listening to random strangers telling him to keep trying, 981 00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:51,000 Speaker 7: and Cole is taking advantage of his instability by planting 982 00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:54,200 Speaker 7: thoughts into his head. My ex has no idea that 983 00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:58,120 Speaker 7: Cole has been encouraging him to keep pursuing me. So 984 00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:01,799 Speaker 7: why was Cole doing all of this? That is exactly 985 00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:04,640 Speaker 7: what my brother and I asked. His answer to give 986 00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:09,040 Speaker 7: my ex false hope. Anytime my ex posted on social 987 00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:12,680 Speaker 7: media about me, Cole got some sick satisfaction out of 988 00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:15,720 Speaker 7: watching his misery. He wanted to string my ex along 989 00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:18,839 Speaker 7: to keep trying, just to watch him fail over and over. 990 00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:21,520 Speaker 7: Cole found it hilarious that my ex was wasting so 991 00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:23,840 Speaker 7: much money on gifts for me, and that it was 992 00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:27,200 Speaker 7: him who ate the chocolates and read the desperate love 993 00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:29,000 Speaker 7: letters while I avoided them like. 994 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:30,239 Speaker 3: They were radioactive. 995 00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:32,680 Speaker 7: This has all been some sick game to see how 996 00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:35,000 Speaker 7: long he could get my ex to keep pining for me. 997 00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:37,640 Speaker 7: I've been living in fear for months because Cole thought 998 00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:40,480 Speaker 7: it was funny to manipulate my ex and watch him 999 00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:44,600 Speaker 7: be heartbroken. I cannot articulate how sick all of this is. 1000 00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:47,439 Speaker 7: He said he makes sure not to go too far 1001 00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:51,000 Speaker 7: by discouraging my ex from making direct contact with me. 1002 00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:54,120 Speaker 7: But I can't believe anything anymore. I've read so many 1003 00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:56,759 Speaker 7: stories of people who were dating someone who seemed so 1004 00:45:56,920 --> 00:46:00,680 Speaker 7: sweet initially but turned out to be unhinged. But I 1005 00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:03,759 Speaker 7: never thought that could be me. I was careless and 1006 00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:06,520 Speaker 7: naive because I clung to someone who finally treated me 1007 00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:09,360 Speaker 7: with kindness. But he is a twisted man who turned 1008 00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:12,520 Speaker 7: my ex into a monster by feeding his delusions. I 1009 00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:14,960 Speaker 7: think if he hadn't done all this, my ex probably 1010 00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:17,680 Speaker 7: wouldn't still be stalking me in the first place. My 1011 00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:21,920 Speaker 7: constant fear and discomfort have just been an unfortunate byproduct 1012 00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:25,120 Speaker 7: of his little game of puppetry. I'm so shaken up. 1013 00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:27,600 Speaker 7: I feel like I'm spiraling. I'm living with my brother 1014 00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:30,480 Speaker 7: and his girlfriend while Cole gets the heck out. I 1015 00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:32,480 Speaker 7: told him he needs to move out within the week 1016 00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:35,440 Speaker 7: or I'm getting the cops involved. He didn't make a fuss. 1017 00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,800 Speaker 7: He just looked at the floor like a kicked puppy. 1018 00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:38,600 Speaker 3: Good. 1019 00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:41,360 Speaker 7: He hasn't even tried to call or text me. But 1020 00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:43,839 Speaker 7: I blocked him just in case. I'm gonna see if 1021 00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:46,080 Speaker 7: my landlord can let me break the lease early with 1022 00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:48,640 Speaker 7: no extra cost. But if I can't, my brother is 1023 00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:51,279 Speaker 7: going to cover the extra cost. In the meantime, I'll 1024 00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:53,600 Speaker 7: stay with him and his girlfriend until I can find 1025 00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:57,960 Speaker 7: somewhere else. My brother is seriously a godsend. I'm definitely 1026 00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:00,319 Speaker 7: going to go back to therapy as soon as possible 1027 00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:04,160 Speaker 7: because this whole situation has me unable to sleep at night, 1028 00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:08,120 Speaker 7: trust anyone, and I really need a better understanding of 1029 00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:12,279 Speaker 7: what red flags are in relationships. So many of you 1030 00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:14,680 Speaker 7: told me I was a pushover, and y'all are right. 1031 00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:17,640 Speaker 7: It shouldn't have taken this long for me to call 1032 00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:20,920 Speaker 7: this relationship with Cole off. This is so messed up, 1033 00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:23,120 Speaker 7: but I'm safe for now. I don't know what I 1034 00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:25,960 Speaker 7: do without my brother and his girlfriend. Thanks to everyone 1035 00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:29,160 Speaker 7: who told me to get out of this relationship, because 1036 00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:32,480 Speaker 7: Cole was way more twisted than I ever could have thought. 1037 00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:37,080 Speaker 4: I'm out, gone, never looking back, and there isn't ed it. 1038 00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:38,960 Speaker 10: Dude, Dad is insane. 1039 00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:42,760 Speaker 9: What I appreciate about updated stories is the first story 1040 00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:46,000 Speaker 9: they're looking for help. They don't know what's going on. 1041 00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:48,480 Speaker 9: Everything's going a heck. They seem crazy. 1042 00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:48,960 Speaker 3: Yeah. 1043 00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:50,680 Speaker 10: The second update, if they don't get their. 1044 00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:53,200 Speaker 9: Craft together after reading all the comments that people have 1045 00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:54,759 Speaker 9: been posting, then they're lost. 1046 00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:55,000 Speaker 11: Hope. 1047 00:47:55,000 --> 00:48:00,080 Speaker 3: But here hero, He's like, thank you. This is for you, guys, this. 1048 00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:04,200 Speaker 10: Is i ope. Yeah. Wow, dude, how do you how 1049 00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:07,120 Speaker 10: do you even find a person like Cole? Yeah? 1050 00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:10,200 Speaker 7: That's pretty insane, But there's a little bit left. I 1051 00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:13,600 Speaker 7: called the non emergency police line to file a report 1052 00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:16,040 Speaker 7: about all of this. It wasn't super helpful other than 1053 00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:18,400 Speaker 7: just making a record, So I'll do a follow up 1054 00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:20,840 Speaker 7: with them once I have safe access to my apartment 1055 00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:25,160 Speaker 7: and can collect evidence. I unblocked Cole for now to 1056 00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:28,360 Speaker 7: gather any text evidence, as some of you suggested, but 1057 00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:30,960 Speaker 7: he's been pretty quiet. He sent a photo of a 1058 00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:33,880 Speaker 7: couple of garbage bags full of his stuff and asked 1059 00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:35,640 Speaker 7: if he could have a day to say goodbye to 1060 00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:37,719 Speaker 7: my cat. I have her with me currently at my 1061 00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:40,160 Speaker 7: brother's place. No way am I letting her near him. 1062 00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:42,840 Speaker 7: There is a little bit left do this story. Do 1063 00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:43,960 Speaker 7: you have any final thoughts? 1064 00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,440 Speaker 10: Top ten most shocking stories ever? 1065 00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:51,040 Speaker 7: Really like of all of the freaking reasonings that we 1066 00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:54,520 Speaker 7: had and theories. I was not expecting he was just 1067 00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:58,520 Speaker 7: trying to torture Op's X. That's pretty wild. There's a 1068 00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:02,719 Speaker 7: little bit left. I haven't replied yet. I turn read 1069 00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:06,360 Speaker 7: receipts off. I haven't contacted X one yet, still figuring 1070 00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:08,560 Speaker 7: out the best way to do that. Tomorrow is a 1071 00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:11,120 Speaker 7: stat holiday where I live, so my brother and his 1072 00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:14,000 Speaker 7: girlfriend will be home from work. We are working together 1073 00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:16,840 Speaker 7: to figure all of this outs. Definitely moving out of 1074 00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:19,520 Speaker 7: my current place as soon as I can. Sorry, I 1075 00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:21,960 Speaker 7: can't reply to all the comments. I'm still pretty overwhelmed 1076 00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:24,239 Speaker 7: and anxious, but I'm trying to read most of them, 1077 00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:26,799 Speaker 7: and I appreciate every one of you. Oh he says, 1078 00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:28,759 Speaker 7: I took the week off from work because I need 1079 00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:30,960 Speaker 7: to just figure all this crap out. I am so 1080 00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:33,759 Speaker 7: full of anxiety, but my brother's trying to distract me 1081 00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:36,600 Speaker 7: by talking about competitive Pokemon. 1082 00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:37,280 Speaker 3: Bless his heart. 1083 00:49:37,719 --> 00:49:40,279 Speaker 7: Several comments say to have somebody tell her X that 1084 00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:43,600 Speaker 7: he's being stalked and cyberbullied. Was so caught up in 1085 00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:46,880 Speaker 7: escaping that I never considered this. You're right, Thank you 1086 00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:49,359 Speaker 7: for reminding me. My head is such a mess right now. 1087 00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:51,480 Speaker 7: On need to brainstorm the best way to let my 1088 00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:54,239 Speaker 7: ex know. I hate to know how he'll react to that, though, 1089 00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:56,200 Speaker 7: I'm gonna find a way to get someone to tell him. 1090 00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:58,120 Speaker 7: He might be a creep, but he deserves to know 1091 00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:01,640 Speaker 7: he's being manipulated. Oh, I am definitely not going to 1092 00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:04,879 Speaker 7: contact my stocker x myself. I'll probably get my brother 1093 00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:07,000 Speaker 7: to do it, since he at least met my ex 1094 00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:09,759 Speaker 7: a few times while I was dating. My dumb self 1095 00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:13,480 Speaker 7: didn't think to record Cole's confession, so we don't have 1096 00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:16,799 Speaker 7: hard proof of his cyber intimidation towards my ex. Just 1097 00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:20,120 Speaker 7: gotta hope he believes us and stops interacting with Cole's 1098 00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:22,400 Speaker 7: all to counts, though I don't know the name of 1099 00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:25,960 Speaker 7: Cole's alts, just that he has them, which is also complicated. 1100 00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:28,640 Speaker 7: He was sending me gifts before I started dating Coal, 1101 00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:32,320 Speaker 7: but it definitely ramped up after I started dating Coal. 1102 00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:34,400 Speaker 7: And that is the end of that story. 1103 00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:34,920 Speaker 10: Folks. 1104 00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:37,120 Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories. 1105 00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:39,320 Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors. 1106 00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:42,719 Speaker 11: I saw my boyfriend wasted for the first time and 1107 00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:44,319 Speaker 11: it's not what I expected. 1108 00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:45,279 Speaker 3: Never a good look. 1109 00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:48,280 Speaker 11: I twenty five female have been dating my boyfriend twenty 1110 00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:51,800 Speaker 11: six mail for a little over a year. Now important 1111 00:50:51,800 --> 00:50:55,120 Speaker 11: to note for later. He was married at eighteen and 1112 00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:58,319 Speaker 11: divorced at twenty one to a woman who had a 1113 00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:02,279 Speaker 11: child at sixteen with a different person. Her son was 1114 00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:04,840 Speaker 11: not his son, and he knew that, but for a 1115 00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:08,400 Speaker 11: few years he was a step dad until his ex 1116 00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:11,760 Speaker 11: divorced him. The divorce was ugly and she went fully 1117 00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:15,200 Speaker 11: no contact after and didn't allow visitation with her son. 1118 00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:18,600 Speaker 11: He had no legal claim, so he just didn't see 1119 00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:22,480 Speaker 11: her or her son again. She moved to another city 1120 00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:25,400 Speaker 11: with her kiddo. By the way, this comes from Intelligent 1121 00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:28,520 Speaker 11: Pies sixty two ninety two and if you want to 1122 00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:30,400 Speaker 11: make your own stories, go to the r slash Okay 1123 00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:31,320 Speaker 11: storytime subreddit. 1124 00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:33,240 Speaker 4: I'm Carly, I'm Sophia. 1125 00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:37,000 Speaker 8: And I'm Thorny from Super Troopers or Boom from Twisters 1126 00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:39,880 Speaker 8: and Cake aka. 1127 00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:42,719 Speaker 11: Keon and we're here to give good advice goofully, but 1128 00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:45,040 Speaker 11: we don't have all the answers. We only know what 1129 00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:46,960 Speaker 11: we do, so let us know what you would do 1130 00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:51,080 Speaker 11: in the comments. And Opie says also important to know 1131 00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:55,120 Speaker 11: up until this point, he has never drank in front 1132 00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:57,680 Speaker 11: of me. He never said why, But even when we 1133 00:51:57,760 --> 00:52:00,839 Speaker 11: went out, he never drank booze at all. I don't 1134 00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:03,560 Speaker 11: mind this because my mom has a problem with booze 1135 00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:06,600 Speaker 11: and I usually have one or two drinks at most. Also, 1136 00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:09,040 Speaker 11: last week, we had some mutual friends over to my 1137 00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:12,360 Speaker 11: apartment and he started doing some small quick drinks and 1138 00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:17,520 Speaker 11: quick succession, quick succession, and got really messed up really fast. 1139 00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:21,319 Speaker 11: We had five friends over. Two were not drinking with 1140 00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:24,640 Speaker 11: me on my patio and the other three were inside 1141 00:52:24,640 --> 00:52:28,080 Speaker 11: with my boyfriend. I saw he was really having small 1142 00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:31,680 Speaker 11: quick drinks, but I didn't really care, because why not 1143 00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:35,600 Speaker 11: have a little now and then? Just because he hasn't before, 1144 00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:38,359 Speaker 11: it doesn't mean he can't. Then, what felt like out 1145 00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:41,200 Speaker 11: of nowhere, one of the people who had been inside 1146 00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:44,400 Speaker 11: with my boyfriend came out to tell me my boyfriend 1147 00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:47,520 Speaker 11: had had a little too much and I needed. 1148 00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:48,000 Speaker 12: To check on him. 1149 00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:51,880 Speaker 11: I was confused because everything seemed totally fine, like thirty 1150 00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:56,000 Speaker 11: minutes before this. Then I heard him yelling something incoherent. 1151 00:52:56,239 --> 00:52:59,120 Speaker 11: When I went into the kitchen where they were hanging out, 1152 00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:03,320 Speaker 11: I saw that the whole brand new bottle of vodka 1153 00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:08,280 Speaker 11: friends bought was gone, and there were adult soda cans 1154 00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:11,280 Speaker 11: from a twelve pack that only had a couple left. 1155 00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:15,400 Speaker 11: Four people were drinking, including him. He was in the 1156 00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:19,120 Speaker 11: bathroom throwing up and not making any sense, and then 1157 00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:22,239 Speaker 11: he fully passed out mid sentence sang not in a 1158 00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:25,480 Speaker 11: funny way, but in like an immediately choking on his 1159 00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:27,840 Speaker 11: throw up kind of way. He leaned back against the 1160 00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:31,920 Speaker 11: tub and was asleep, and then started vomiting again while 1161 00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,840 Speaker 11: still sitting up with his head back. We were all panicking, 1162 00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:37,719 Speaker 11: and one of my friends called emergency while me and 1163 00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:39,720 Speaker 11: another laid him on his side. 1164 00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:41,680 Speaker 2: Got God, I just. 1165 00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:45,560 Speaker 12: That you guys knew what to do in any way. 1166 00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:49,000 Speaker 11: He finally started to come to when the ambulance got there. 1167 00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:52,080 Speaker 11: On the way to the hospital, he was coherent, but 1168 00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:55,319 Speaker 11: didn't know where he was or who I was. He 1169 00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:59,440 Speaker 11: kept calling me his ex wife's name and asking for 1170 00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:02,879 Speaker 11: her son and asking me why I was keeping his. 1171 00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:03,719 Speaker 12: Boy from him. 1172 00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,480 Speaker 11: He said it a few times, so I know I 1173 00:54:06,560 --> 00:54:10,640 Speaker 11: didn't misunderstand. He also started like he was going to 1174 00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:14,319 Speaker 11: swing at the EMT, and I think he would have 1175 00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:16,879 Speaker 11: if he had any control of himself at all. 1176 00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:18,919 Speaker 12: He is fine now, or. 1177 00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:19,360 Speaker 4: He will be. 1178 00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:22,600 Speaker 11: He got booze poisoning and was in the hospital for 1179 00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:26,319 Speaker 11: a little over two days, but he's out and recovering now. 1180 00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:29,959 Speaker 11: He doesn't remember the things he said or did at all. 1181 00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:35,320 Speaker 11: He doesn't remember past his first few quick drinks. According 1182 00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:38,839 Speaker 11: to our friends, he just started straight drinking from the 1183 00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:43,120 Speaker 11: bottle after the first few small quick drinks and they 1184 00:54:43,160 --> 00:54:46,040 Speaker 11: were trying to get him to stop. He was just 1185 00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:49,720 Speaker 11: being a belligerent knucklehead to them. They ended up fighting 1186 00:54:49,880 --> 00:54:53,120 Speaker 11: over the bottle and then he chugged like most of 1187 00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:56,640 Speaker 11: it during or after the fight. Shortly after that, the 1188 00:54:56,760 --> 00:55:00,359 Speaker 11: throw up started, and then everything went downhill fast. He's 1189 00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:03,800 Speaker 11: apologized for all of it. He said, he's really sorry 1190 00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:06,480 Speaker 11: and this is why he doesn't drink, which I guess 1191 00:55:06,560 --> 00:55:09,239 Speaker 11: is good to know. Would have been good to know 1192 00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:12,800 Speaker 11: before all this happened. Our friends are making jokes about 1193 00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:16,040 Speaker 11: it with him, and everyone seems super keen to move 1194 00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:19,319 Speaker 11: on and forgive and forget, but I can't. He said, 1195 00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:22,640 Speaker 11: he's sorry so many times, but I just can't unsee 1196 00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:25,640 Speaker 11: it now, so I ended things with him. Some of 1197 00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:28,920 Speaker 11: my friends said I'm overreacting and he's never done it before, 1198 00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:32,160 Speaker 11: but after him calling me her name all night, whether 1199 00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:33,480 Speaker 11: he remembers it, or not. 1200 00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:35,120 Speaker 12: I can't forget it. 1201 00:55:35,280 --> 00:55:37,520 Speaker 11: This hasn't been easy, but I felt like my skin 1202 00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:40,160 Speaker 11: was crawling when he touched me, and I don't think 1203 00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:41,360 Speaker 11: there was coming. 1204 00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:42,000 Speaker 12: Back from it for me. 1205 00:55:42,239 --> 00:55:45,400 Speaker 11: His behavior that whole night reminded me of my childhood 1206 00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:48,439 Speaker 11: and I want to be far away from that now, 1207 00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:52,600 Speaker 11: especially because he knows my history and he never told 1208 00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:56,000 Speaker 11: me he gets like this before. Only after I saw 1209 00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:59,120 Speaker 11: it in person. He said it so normally too, just 1210 00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:01,759 Speaker 11: I get like that when I'm drinking. When I ended it, 1211 00:56:01,800 --> 00:56:04,120 Speaker 11: he tried to change my mind at first, but he 1212 00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:07,440 Speaker 11: accepted it after a while. He has been respecting my 1213 00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:11,040 Speaker 11: request not to contact me after the breakup, but a 1214 00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:13,400 Speaker 11: couple of my friends are really upset with me for 1215 00:56:13,560 --> 00:56:15,760 Speaker 11: ending things over some bad judgment. 1216 00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:17,640 Speaker 12: We have enough date Well, it's. 1217 00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:20,920 Speaker 11: Been a weird couple of days. Shortly after my last post, 1218 00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:24,120 Speaker 11: my ex started texting me and asked me to just 1219 00:56:24,160 --> 00:56:26,759 Speaker 11: talk to him. Honestly, there's a lot I needed to 1220 00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:30,040 Speaker 11: understand and questions I needed to ask. So we set 1221 00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:32,239 Speaker 11: up a time the next day at a park near me, 1222 00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:35,480 Speaker 11: maybe to get closure, maybe to try one last time. 1223 00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:36,120 Speaker 12: I don't know. 1224 00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:39,520 Speaker 11: I wanted to at least try to talk one last time. 1225 00:56:39,719 --> 00:56:42,399 Speaker 11: That night, one of our other mutual friends we will 1226 00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:45,799 Speaker 11: call Hannah, also texted me and asked if we could 1227 00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:49,080 Speaker 11: meet up. I was super hesitant at first because I 1228 00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:49,880 Speaker 11: don't really. 1229 00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:50,960 Speaker 12: Know Hannah all that well. 1230 00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:53,680 Speaker 11: She was really insistent she needed to talk to me 1231 00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:57,520 Speaker 11: and promised she wouldn't pressure me about anything. She asked 1232 00:56:57,520 --> 00:56:59,600 Speaker 11: if I could come by that night for tea, and 1233 00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:02,640 Speaker 11: I greed. I'm glad we did meet up because she 1234 00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:05,840 Speaker 11: told me a lot of stuff I didn't know. Hannah 1235 00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:08,520 Speaker 11: has been friends with my ex since high school and 1236 00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:11,000 Speaker 11: knew him and his ex wife when. 1237 00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:13,399 Speaker 12: They were married. She told me they got a divorce. 1238 00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:16,600 Speaker 11: Because he had a serious drinking issue when they were married, 1239 00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:20,680 Speaker 11: got two DUI's wow, one when he wasn't even of 1240 00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:25,720 Speaker 11: legal drinking age and a disorderly His ex wife's final 1241 00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:29,640 Speaker 11: straw was him arriving home wasted when her son was 1242 00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:31,160 Speaker 11: in the car with him. 1243 00:57:31,160 --> 00:57:33,800 Speaker 3: Clearly unacceptable, No, the unacceptable. 1244 00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:39,760 Speaker 7: Yeah, this is the guy clearly needs help, and you 1245 00:57:39,800 --> 00:57:41,880 Speaker 7: know you're not a professional PEDI. You don't have to 1246 00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:43,800 Speaker 7: provide that help, especially when you didn't know what you 1247 00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:47,040 Speaker 7: were getting into. There was an honesty upfront, and also 1248 00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:48,400 Speaker 7: you're also very young. 1249 00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:49,919 Speaker 12: Yeah, they're both so young. 1250 00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:53,439 Speaker 11: After that, she packed up and went no contact as 1251 00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:55,320 Speaker 11: soon as the divorce was finalized. 1252 00:57:55,720 --> 00:57:57,240 Speaker 12: I didn't know any of that. 1253 00:57:57,840 --> 00:58:01,720 Speaker 11: He was also in active recovery. When we met regularly 1254 00:58:01,760 --> 00:58:05,520 Speaker 11: attending meetings. He kept it all from me, Hannah told me. 1255 00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:09,040 Speaker 11: He also did something really similar in May when they 1256 00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:11,760 Speaker 11: went to a music festival as a group. I didn't 1257 00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:14,640 Speaker 11: go because I was working that weekend. I knew he 1258 00:58:14,760 --> 00:58:16,920 Speaker 11: was weird. When he got back and I asked him 1259 00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:19,880 Speaker 11: about it, he just said he and a few others. 1260 00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:22,040 Speaker 12: Had gotten into a bit and he didn't want to. 1261 00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:22,640 Speaker 4: Talk about it. 1262 00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:26,400 Speaker 11: According to Hannah, he got blackout at the festival on 1263 00:58:26,560 --> 00:58:29,760 Speaker 11: the first night and spent it vomiting in the medical tent, 1264 00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:32,800 Speaker 11: sobered up, and then repeated it the next day. 1265 00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:34,240 Speaker 2: That's crazy. 1266 00:58:34,680 --> 00:58:37,600 Speaker 8: The fact that he did it literally the next day night, 1267 00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:40,480 Speaker 8: that's not even twenty four hours like that. That's wild 1268 00:58:40,520 --> 00:58:40,720 Speaker 8: to me. 1269 00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:41,400 Speaker 3: Uh. 1270 00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:44,240 Speaker 11: His friends were upset with him that time, but he 1271 00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:46,680 Speaker 11: begged them not to say anything to me, and no 1272 00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:49,800 Speaker 11: one did. Hannah said she felt really awful keeping it 1273 00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:52,200 Speaker 11: from me, But we really didn't know each other all 1274 00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:55,480 Speaker 11: that well, so all those times they fell silent when 1275 00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:58,880 Speaker 11: I walked up, or that I misunderstood some private joke 1276 00:58:59,440 --> 00:59:02,400 Speaker 11: now make a lot more sense. Hannah and I talked 1277 00:59:02,440 --> 00:59:05,880 Speaker 11: for hours, and she was really kind and empathetic and 1278 00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:08,400 Speaker 11: really helped me sort out my feelings. She also said, 1279 00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:10,160 Speaker 11: I'm more than welcome to tell him who told me, 1280 00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:13,520 Speaker 11: as she's told him before. If he wasn't honest with me, 1281 00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:17,200 Speaker 11: soon she would be I'm forever going to be grateful 1282 00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:19,800 Speaker 11: that we had our meeting before I sat down with 1283 00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:22,680 Speaker 11: my ex. My ex and I went to talk yesterday 1284 00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:26,320 Speaker 11: and it was messy. I really was hoping he would 1285 00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:29,280 Speaker 11: tell me all of that himself, and when he got there, 1286 00:59:29,400 --> 00:59:31,880 Speaker 11: I opened the floor and asked him to help me 1287 00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:35,280 Speaker 11: understand what happened that night. I didn't tell him right 1288 00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:38,440 Speaker 11: away that Hannah and I had talked because I wanted 1289 00:59:38,480 --> 00:59:40,800 Speaker 11: to see if he would tell me the truth or 1290 00:59:40,920 --> 00:59:43,600 Speaker 11: keep it from me. Still, maybe that was shady or 1291 00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:46,440 Speaker 11: some kind of messed up mind game, like he claimed, 1292 00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:49,360 Speaker 11: but it made sense to me at the time. He 1293 00:59:49,560 --> 00:59:53,040 Speaker 11: didn't tell me, though, He still just kept apologizing and 1294 00:59:53,200 --> 00:59:56,000 Speaker 11: asking if we could move on. He said he loves 1295 00:59:56,040 --> 00:59:59,040 Speaker 11: me and wants to be with me, and just wants to. 1296 00:59:58,960 --> 01:00:01,640 Speaker 12: Go back to how it was before this happened. 1297 01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:04,840 Speaker 11: I told him that he almost passed away. We couldn't 1298 01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:08,800 Speaker 11: pretend this just didn't happen. He said, fine, we could 1299 01:00:08,800 --> 01:00:11,400 Speaker 11: just move on then, and I said I couldn't move 1300 01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:14,680 Speaker 11: on if we couldn't talk about it, because I'm angry 1301 01:00:14,760 --> 01:00:17,760 Speaker 11: and hurt. If there's any chance at all, I need 1302 01:00:17,840 --> 01:00:19,640 Speaker 11: him to be able to talk to me about this 1303 01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:22,600 Speaker 11: and not just try to glaze over it with apologies. 1304 01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:24,800 Speaker 4: Well, it's like it's not I don't know. 1305 01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:26,520 Speaker 7: He's trying to say like, oh, we can just move on, 1306 01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:28,440 Speaker 7: we can just move on, but you haven't actually addressed 1307 01:00:28,480 --> 01:00:29,040 Speaker 7: the problem. 1308 01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:31,000 Speaker 12: He's denying that he has one. 1309 01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:33,200 Speaker 7: He has one, So there's no way to move on 1310 01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:35,640 Speaker 7: when you're still in the same place. 1311 01:00:35,680 --> 01:00:38,280 Speaker 8: Yeah, and in reality, Yeah, for anyone out there with 1312 01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:40,160 Speaker 8: you know, hearing this and you're like, oh, that sounds 1313 01:00:40,240 --> 01:00:42,560 Speaker 8: kind of familiar, or I have a friend that's somewhere 1314 01:00:42,560 --> 01:00:45,040 Speaker 8: in the you know, along those lines. With anything they 1315 01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:48,280 Speaker 8: and they're denying it or they're not taking accountability, they 1316 01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:50,160 Speaker 8: should know that, hey, this is going to be not 1317 01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:54,160 Speaker 8: only affecting them, but everyone around them, their relationships, their 1318 01:00:54,200 --> 01:00:57,320 Speaker 8: loved ones, everyone it could get to a problem again. 1319 01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:00,480 Speaker 8: If not for themselves, it might hurt somebody else. 1320 01:01:01,040 --> 01:01:03,480 Speaker 11: Yeah, I hope that they can get him back into 1321 01:01:03,520 --> 01:01:06,680 Speaker 11: another sort of program for that or something. He said 1322 01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:09,360 Speaker 11: he would try and asked me what I wanted to know. 1323 01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:12,720 Speaker 11: So I asked why he decided to drink, and he 1324 01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:15,560 Speaker 11: said he didn't know. I asked at what point he 1325 01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:19,600 Speaker 11: stopped remembering, and he said sometime after he took the 1326 01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:22,760 Speaker 11: bottle after the fight with his other friend. I asked 1327 01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:25,680 Speaker 11: why he did that if he wasn't blackout at the time, 1328 01:01:25,960 --> 01:01:29,160 Speaker 11: what made him decide to chug the bottle. He said 1329 01:01:29,160 --> 01:01:31,720 Speaker 11: that his friends were telling him he needed to slow down, 1330 01:01:32,360 --> 01:01:35,320 Speaker 11: and it pissed him off because it felt like a challenge. 1331 01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:37,240 Speaker 12: Then I asked him. 1332 01:01:37,160 --> 01:01:39,880 Speaker 11: Why he thought he called me his ex wife's name 1333 01:01:40,120 --> 01:01:43,880 Speaker 11: while blacked out. He tried to shut down the conversation again, 1334 01:01:43,920 --> 01:01:46,120 Speaker 11: and I said I really needed him to talk to 1335 01:01:46,160 --> 01:01:49,720 Speaker 11: me about this. After going in circles, I finally just 1336 01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:52,960 Speaker 11: told him that Hannah and I had talked and I 1337 01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:56,080 Speaker 11: know about his duys and drinking with the kid in 1338 01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:58,720 Speaker 11: the car. I also told him I knew about the 1339 01:01:58,840 --> 01:01:59,840 Speaker 11: music festival in. 1340 01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:02,040 Speaker 12: Me and he lost it. 1341 01:02:02,280 --> 01:02:05,000 Speaker 11: He didn't deny any of it, just got angry that 1342 01:02:05,080 --> 01:02:09,400 Speaker 11: I knew. Not just angry, he fully blew up at me, 1343 01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:13,080 Speaker 11: started screaming about how cruel it was to keep it 1344 01:02:13,120 --> 01:02:15,360 Speaker 11: from him, that I knew all that and just let 1345 01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:17,600 Speaker 11: him look like an idiot and just let him lie, 1346 01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:20,560 Speaker 11: and that I was just playing messed up mind games. 1347 01:02:20,920 --> 01:02:24,080 Speaker 11: So I started yelling back that he was a liar 1348 01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:27,080 Speaker 11: and the mind games were all on him, and then 1349 01:02:27,080 --> 01:02:29,960 Speaker 11: it blew up into a mess, neither one of us 1350 01:02:30,040 --> 01:02:33,560 Speaker 11: listening or communicating well at all. He kept saying he 1351 01:02:33,640 --> 01:02:36,360 Speaker 11: just wanted to move on from it, and I kept saying, 1352 01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:39,200 Speaker 11: he clearly hasn't moved on from it if he won't 1353 01:02:39,240 --> 01:02:41,720 Speaker 11: even tell me about it, and I have to learn 1354 01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:45,040 Speaker 11: from his friends. He then said it was my fault 1355 01:02:45,280 --> 01:02:48,520 Speaker 11: because I was so adamant about not being around a 1356 01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:51,920 Speaker 11: regular user that he had to lie to me or 1357 01:02:51,960 --> 01:02:53,080 Speaker 11: I would have left him. 1358 01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:54,560 Speaker 4: So, oh, p, I don't know. 1359 01:02:54,760 --> 01:02:57,280 Speaker 7: Did we know that before that OPI specifically had brought 1360 01:02:57,360 --> 01:02:58,760 Speaker 7: up It seems like she brought up. 1361 01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:01,880 Speaker 11: Oh, weren't for sure that they had talked about it, 1362 01:03:01,880 --> 01:03:03,640 Speaker 11: but we were sure that Opie was around us? 1363 01:03:03,720 --> 01:03:06,480 Speaker 7: Yes, yes, yeah, but it seems like Op's telling us 1364 01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:09,720 Speaker 7: that she's specifically stated and he knew now that this. 1365 01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:13,120 Speaker 8: Was Yeah, Yeah, he knew, and he I was like, oh, wait, 1366 01:03:13,360 --> 01:03:16,760 Speaker 8: I shouldn't tell her my history or my my addiction 1367 01:03:17,320 --> 01:03:19,160 Speaker 8: because she'll break up with me. Yeah. 1368 01:03:19,680 --> 01:03:23,120 Speaker 11: No, I think the breakup was the thing to do, yes, 1369 01:03:23,400 --> 01:03:25,840 Speaker 11: And he had to stop going to treatment because he 1370 01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:29,479 Speaker 11: was scared I would find out after that. It got 1371 01:03:29,600 --> 01:03:33,479 Speaker 11: ugly with name calling on both sides. We both left 1372 01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:36,200 Speaker 11: angry and still broken up, and I haven't heard from 1373 01:03:36,280 --> 01:03:38,920 Speaker 11: him at all yet. I'm kind of hoping this is 1374 01:03:38,960 --> 01:03:41,960 Speaker 11: the end for now. Everything that has happened the last 1375 01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:44,680 Speaker 11: week and a half has made me really examine our 1376 01:03:44,720 --> 01:03:47,960 Speaker 11: past year together more closely, and now I see the 1377 01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:51,400 Speaker 11: flaws a lot more clearly. I think because we were 1378 01:03:51,440 --> 01:03:54,360 Speaker 11: compatible in a lot of ways, laughed together, like the 1379 01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:58,240 Speaker 11: same TV shows and movies, had similar interests in humor, 1380 01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:01,000 Speaker 11: We had a lot of fun together. I didn't really 1381 01:04:01,120 --> 01:04:04,880 Speaker 11: notice how often he would fully shut down conversations about 1382 01:04:04,880 --> 01:04:07,720 Speaker 11: his past. All of our biggest fights were around him 1383 01:04:07,720 --> 01:04:11,080 Speaker 11: being cold and distant for weeks at a time and 1384 01:04:11,360 --> 01:04:14,680 Speaker 11: not communicating what was going on, so I was left 1385 01:04:14,840 --> 01:04:18,280 Speaker 11: constantly wondering if I had done something wrong, and then 1386 01:04:18,320 --> 01:04:20,560 Speaker 11: he would go back to normal, and I would be 1387 01:04:20,680 --> 01:04:23,480 Speaker 11: so relieved that he wasn't being like that anymore. 1388 01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:24,800 Speaker 12: I would just drop it. 1389 01:04:25,120 --> 01:04:27,600 Speaker 11: I feel like he hid too much for me, lied 1390 01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:30,400 Speaker 11: too much, and made his friends lie to me too. 1391 01:04:31,160 --> 01:04:33,400 Speaker 11: I thought I had found my circle and I was 1392 01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:36,000 Speaker 11: finally getting to the good part of life, and this 1393 01:04:36,080 --> 01:04:39,600 Speaker 11: whole thing made that delusion come crumbling down. 1394 01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:41,880 Speaker 4: Ah. 1395 01:04:41,920 --> 01:04:44,240 Speaker 3: I think you made the right decision. I'm glad that 1396 01:04:44,320 --> 01:04:45,600 Speaker 3: you saw those red flags. 1397 01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:48,640 Speaker 7: Yeah, and I hope that he gets the help that 1398 01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:49,160 Speaker 7: he needs. 1399 01:04:49,360 --> 01:04:52,720 Speaker 4: I hope so too, because he's clearly, like very stuck 1400 01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:53,040 Speaker 4: in it. 1401 01:04:53,400 --> 01:04:54,800 Speaker 3: Yeah. 1402 01:04:54,840 --> 01:04:57,600 Speaker 7: And you know, when you're stuck in that, you lash 1403 01:04:57,600 --> 01:04:59,080 Speaker 7: out at everyone and everything. 1404 01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:01,960 Speaker 4: It's hard to see that light at the end of 1405 01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:03,240 Speaker 4: the tunnel, but it is there. 1406 01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:03,920 Speaker 3: Yeah. 1407 01:05:04,120 --> 01:05:07,680 Speaker 12: Hopefully his friends, Yeah, bring them out of it. 1408 01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:10,600 Speaker 11: Some of it is my fault too. I moved to 1409 01:05:10,640 --> 01:05:13,200 Speaker 11: the city for a job and didn't know anyone here, 1410 01:05:13,520 --> 01:05:15,640 Speaker 11: so when I met him, I just sort of clung 1411 01:05:15,720 --> 01:05:19,360 Speaker 11: to his life. His friends became my friends, his favorite 1412 01:05:19,360 --> 01:05:23,320 Speaker 11: places became my favorite places. I didn't spend any time 1413 01:05:23,320 --> 01:05:25,760 Speaker 11: building a life of my own here. I spent it 1414 01:05:25,840 --> 01:05:29,040 Speaker 11: fitting myself into his, So that's the first thing I'm 1415 01:05:29,080 --> 01:05:31,840 Speaker 11: going to work on fixing, figuring out who I am, 1416 01:05:32,280 --> 01:05:35,160 Speaker 11: and finding my own life and people outside of him 1417 01:05:35,200 --> 01:05:37,960 Speaker 11: and his. I also got on the books with my 1418 01:05:38,040 --> 01:05:41,680 Speaker 11: old therapist, though not for another nine weeks, so I'll 1419 01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:43,880 Speaker 11: have to wait for that. For now, I'm going to 1420 01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:47,880 Speaker 11: focus on work and myself and figuring out what happens next. 1421 01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:50,160 Speaker 12: And that's the end of that story, at the end 1422 01:05:50,160 --> 01:05:50,200 Speaker 12: of