Speaker 1: Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.
Speaker 1: She couldn't She cleaned and cared for her children and
Speaker 1: the man of the house, and of course she didn't
Speaker 1: talk back. She was both obedient and soft by nature.
Speaker 1: She was a good woman who always made good choices.
Speaker 2: We're good mom's bad choices.
Speaker 3: Who's single mom who said fuck the patriarchy? Shared all
Speaker 3: their bad choices and sound out they were so bad.
Speaker 3: After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties.
Speaker 2: Sit back and enjoy the ride.
Speaker 3: I can do it. Welcome back to good Mom's bad Choices.
Speaker 3: I'm America, and I'm Nila, your little titty committee leader,
Speaker 3: and I'm here to tell you don't need big titties
Speaker 3: to thrive. You can have sch medium or extra larger petite,
Speaker 3: which you're like mine a small bee. Don't you dare
Speaker 3: say triple A because they're not. And you can thrive
Speaker 3: with these big old titties anywhere in a bathing suit
Speaker 3: in the snow at Disneyland and your while riding. One
Speaker 3: of the things I used to have problems accepting is
Speaker 3: when I was on top and I go like this,
Speaker 3: it kind of looks like utters like a cat, so
Speaker 3: I don't really remind myself not to do that, but
Speaker 3: not anymore. Oh like you has always got a art
Speaker 3: your back. Well, you just can't do this, okay, because
Speaker 3: I don't look good like that. But that's not the point.
Speaker 3: I love them and always I don't think.
Speaker 2: I think all the men, all the men that have
Speaker 2: seen your titties in that position, have not had that thought.
Speaker 2: I think women generally are were in our heads. We're
Speaker 2: not busy because your pussy's wrapped around their peace and
Speaker 2: thinking about, oh my god, her tits look like utters.
Speaker 3: You just gotta squeeze your life away and then they
Speaker 3: won't remember shit. Yep, exactly.
Speaker 2: Just key distract them, squeeze the life out of their
Speaker 2: deck stores.
Speaker 3: Wherever you're at right now, if you're listening to this
Speaker 3: and your headphones at work or in the car, let's
Speaker 3: just take a collective good mom's squeeze of the person.
Speaker 3: Squeeze gay squeeze, squeeze, geeze, squeez squeeze, squeze, squeeze, squeeze
Speaker 3: an exhil, don't say good moms never did anything for you. Yes,
Speaker 3: you're welcome, husband and boyfriend and digmatized nigga that you
Speaker 3: found last week.
Speaker 2: I had someone in my DM's yesterday asking about how
Speaker 2: big my boobs were because she's getting a breast reduction
Speaker 2: and she was curious what size I had, and she
Speaker 2: has a J and I was like, god, damn, I.
Speaker 3: Wasn't really a J though, because Victoria be lying.
Speaker 2: I got to ae F.
Speaker 3: But they but that's not an F, so they'd be
Speaker 3: lying like Victoria's secret. No, but that was no.
Speaker 2: I was an F like not Victoria's secret. Not this
Speaker 2: when I had When I got frien, I was and
Speaker 2: I was breastfeeding, my tits were added.
Speaker 3: Really, yeah, I do want to need to see footage? Yeah,
Speaker 3: I show you actually when if you see my tits
Speaker 3: when I was breastfeeding, that's actually the book. That's actually
Speaker 3: the picture I'm going to present the doctor because they
Speaker 3: looked great and they were probably like a large seat.
Speaker 3: In fact, I'm going to scroll through my photos just
Speaker 3: so I can insert it here because it's very important
Speaker 3: to me. It's actually my best boob life is when
Speaker 3: I was breastfeeding. Unfortunately, there's milk coming out, so it
Speaker 3: wasn't like thriving like I would want it to if
Speaker 3: they were real, fake, fake, real, but yeah, god, that's
Speaker 3: like my one motivation to get pregnant again. Like, hey, Landa,
Speaker 3: look at these You never seen this before.
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 2: But the only thing about it is when they're that size,
Speaker 2: like they're being used so much. Yeah, actually it's like
Speaker 2: get the fuck away. It's like you're in like the
Speaker 2: best hit, got the best hits of your life, and
Speaker 2: they're doing neckless doing that.
Speaker 3: I mean they're I mean they're doing they're doing that
Speaker 3: fun for you. Really, that's true. And have you ever
Speaker 3: when you're breastfeeding, were you ever like riding and then
Speaker 3: like you're also like full and then they start to
Speaker 3: go like like you could squirt. I didn't. I didn't
Speaker 3: breastfeed long enough for that to happen. They would like
Speaker 3: simultaneously just be especially in the shower.
Speaker 2: I don't think I was having sex too. I was like,
Speaker 2: get the fun. I literally was. That was pretty much
Speaker 2: my whole pregnancy up until maybe one year after I
Speaker 2: had Iri.
Speaker 3: I didn't really I didn't. I wasn't really second.
Speaker 2: I don't even remember. I actually I don't remember any
Speaker 2: I don't really don't remember. I actually can't even remember.
Speaker 2: There's like a big part of I think the early
Speaker 2: days of motherhood that I literally don't have a don't
Speaker 2: have recklee. Maybe it'll come back later. Maybe if I
Speaker 2: do AMDR.
Speaker 3: Let me tell you why. Why Because it was traumatized.
Speaker 3: I know, because you were traumat I know that's why
Speaker 3: I don't remember either.
Speaker 2: Maybe I could do AMDR and then it'll come back.
Speaker 2: You don't want to, I mean, there's gotta be there's
Speaker 2: some good ship that happened, for sure.
Speaker 3: I think I blocked out, like all of my pregnancy.
Speaker 3: I can't remember, like really shit except I think I
Speaker 3: found my baby daddy and bumble and amongst other things.
Speaker 2: I remember my pregnancy. It's after the pregnancy that I
Speaker 2: don't remember anything.
Speaker 3: I remember after a little bit, but like that full
Speaker 3: two years, like the pregnancy in that first year were
Speaker 3: a little bit like a blur because I was probably
Speaker 3: like very miserable and said.
Speaker 2: There's a lot going on. You're literally walking into like
Speaker 2: a rite of passage that no one can there's nothing
Speaker 2: that can prepare you.
Speaker 3: Literally, I don't care.
Speaker 2: You've got mom, friends, lots of sisters, siblings, whatever the
Speaker 2: fuck you thought you knew, you don't until you go
Speaker 2: through this. Because your hormones also you're like literally not
Speaker 2: in control anymore. You're out of control your bache, you're crazy.
Speaker 3: You're basically like a host takes over your body. It's
Speaker 3: like a zombie apocalypse because like your hormones take over.
Speaker 3: It's not even you anymore. Good luck.
Speaker 2: So for those that are thinking about having a baby, congratulation.
Speaker 3: It's actually truly like a zombie because the baby, you
Speaker 3: are a host. You're like your hormones stake over your personality.
Speaker 3: The baby takes over your actual nutrients in your body,
Speaker 3: and you like go elsewhere that we don't really know
Speaker 3: yet where you go. But maybe this.
Speaker 2: Maybe we're like stuck in another dimension, like.
Speaker 3: We're like resting. Maybe we're resting to rest because we
Speaker 3: know it's like we want to have to stay up
Speaker 3: along a lot of hours. Do you hear that this
Speaker 3: is your only way to rest. You won't remember and
Speaker 3: you won't feel rested at all, But it'll be great.
Speaker 3: Maybe in our second pregnancies it will be different and
Speaker 3: we'll have a memory.
Speaker 2: Well, because we're more self aware now, but also we forgot.
Speaker 3: I'm kind of scared because I know more, and because
Speaker 3: I know more, you know more.
Speaker 2: But also we forgot.
Speaker 3: I forgot, But then, like I know so much information.
Speaker 2: Our bodies are different. What if we have a totally
Speaker 2: different reaction our bodies like some other wild shit.
Speaker 3: That's my biggest fear. It's ten years later, Like I'm
Speaker 3: primarily concerned about chin hair growth.
Speaker 2: I already have that problem.
Speaker 3: I do.
Speaker 2: That's why I'm already have that problem with Actually I
Speaker 2: forgot to pluck that chin hair this morning that I
Speaker 2: saw on the.
Speaker 3: Like triples, and then I'll die. Maybe, So that's not.
Speaker 2: Gonna die die. I guess to another dimension.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get electrolysis.
Speaker 2: I got electrons.
Speaker 3: Did it work? Though?
Speaker 2: I got electrolysis while I was pregnant. I don't know
Speaker 2: if I was supposed to do that, but I did it.
Speaker 2: Not well, it worked, yeah, because I was getting I
Speaker 2: told you I grew a beard on my neck, a
Speaker 2: little patch, a little circa may right here, like between
Speaker 2: ten and fifteen. Really it was substantial, really.
Speaker 3: Like enough that I was like, were you visibly pregnant?
Speaker 3: Did the lady know you're pregnant?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Oh okay, oh okay, I mean I respine, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: she's fine.
Speaker 2: I was supposed to shave it.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I don't know what you're suppsed to do.
Speaker 3: I would do the same thing. I would risk it all.
Speaker 2: I mean, we've done it. People have done worse things.
Speaker 2: People smoke crack.
Speaker 3: I just got electrolysis. I fun fact, fun bag.
Speaker 2: If we're really gonna like way the go on the
Speaker 2: spectrum of irresponsible good mom, good mom's bad choices, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna lean more towards the good mom.
Speaker 3: I once watch the documentary about the crack era, and
Speaker 3: what I collected from the whole thing was scientists were
Speaker 3: really surprised that after the crack epidemic that a lot
Speaker 3: of the babies that were products of like crack moms,
Speaker 3: they were affected, but not as affected as they thought
Speaker 3: they were going to be. So if you're crack, but
Speaker 3: you're fine, razzle dazzle all extra sprinkle like like quite
Speaker 3: literally and it might be genius, You're welcome. And in
Speaker 3: the sixties they were telling women to drink martinis and
Speaker 3: smoke cigarettes while they were pregnant. So the point is
Speaker 3: we don't really know electrolysis is problem.
Speaker 2: A lot of people from the sixties are fucked up.
Speaker 3: It's not because they are drinking.
Speaker 2: All the people that are in power now around that time.
Speaker 3: Because he's fifties. Those guys are a little it's because
Speaker 3: their moms didn't hug them. That's the real issue. It's
Speaker 3: not the martinis and the hug marbles, the hugs. The hugs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta hug your kids important.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm glad that sorry, we just will. I'm glad
Speaker 3: that we we've recovered that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that we've we got hugs and we're giving
Speaker 2: our children hugs. And then I did not smoke crack
Speaker 2: while I was pregnant.
Speaker 3: I did not electrolysis, which was I lady did some
Speaker 3: other things before I knew I was pregnant. It wasn't
Speaker 3: smoking crack, though, but there was some other things that
Speaker 3: Luda's fine. She was great. She's wonderful, intelligent, funny. The
Speaker 3: other things might have made gave her a sense of humor.
Speaker 3: We makes. It gives you the giggles. It will give
Speaker 3: your baby the giggles too. Oh God, don't endorse anything
Speaker 3: that we say, because we are not all for entertainment purposes.
Speaker 3: I didn't do any of these things. We were twenty six.
Speaker 3: What we're supposed to do, who knows?
Speaker 2: Like we're children, We were children having children.
Speaker 3: You know, you couldn't tell me I wasn't grown though.
Speaker 2: Oh no, not at all.
Speaker 3: It's like, I'm a grown woman. I am twenty six
Speaker 3: years old, mom, and I'm gonna have this baby, you know.
Speaker 2: I was sitting with my mom yesterday and I was
Speaker 2: telling her, like, some some stuff that's going on with
Speaker 2: my little sister who's nineteen.
Speaker 3: Did you ever respond to that text message?
Speaker 2: I did after I calmed down, and it went, well,
Speaker 2: I'm glad that I was able to be a big sister.
Speaker 3: Not a bitch. That's good for you, because I was thinking, wow, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: It took me an hour but and a few rewrites
Speaker 2: of the text message. But I was telling my mom
Speaker 2: about what was happening, and when I left her, I
Speaker 2: was thinking because I was like, she's a child, like
Speaker 2: she's a child, and my Mom's like, well, she's not
Speaker 2: really a child, like she's nineteen, she's a teenager. And
Speaker 2: then I was thinking about my mom listening to her
Speaker 2: daughter tell her this, and I'm obviously I'm not nineteen,
Speaker 2: but I'm still a child in my mom's eyes, and
Speaker 2: just like her thinking.
Speaker 3: The crazy part is will always be children.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 2: And then I was but I was just thinking about
Speaker 2: I retelling me this, and I was just like, Wow,
Speaker 2: it just keeps going.
Speaker 3: Huh.
Speaker 2: I just like we always think we're grown. We just
Speaker 2: always think we're grown.
Speaker 3: And we're not. Let's just accept the fact that we'll
Speaker 3: never be grown, We'll never be fully grown, We're always
Speaker 3: we're always growing. I talked to my mom this morning,
Speaker 3: and we literally speak different languages. I don't know if
Speaker 3: my communication language is just off from the world, but
Speaker 3: like we're like having the same conversation but like clashing
Speaker 3: it not. And I'm like agreeing, but we're still arguing,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, what the fuck is happening right now?
Speaker 3: She's like, I listened to your episode for the one
Speaker 3: episode for the first time ever. I was like, oh really, really,
Speaker 3: which one was the Moms Heal the World? Oh? God,
Speaker 3: of course, okay, And I was like, I don't think
Speaker 3: that was too bad, but yeah, my mom has not
Speaker 3: listened to my entire podcast in seven and a half years,
Speaker 3: nor has she read my book. And then she told
Speaker 3: me she to end to dive into the book this weekend.
Speaker 3: She's like, what she been saying about me over yet?
Speaker 2: Now that I did you say anything? Did you say
Speaker 2: anything on the episode about her.
Speaker 3: No, I don't. I mean I think I said some things,
Speaker 3: but I don't think. I think I actually said she's
Speaker 3: been doing a lot better, and yeah you did. Yeah,
Speaker 3: So that's probably why she's like, let me read the
Speaker 3: book now. But today she was like, she'd asked me
Speaker 3: to take her to her colonoscopy and I said yes,
Speaker 3: and then I was like, what time is it, Like
Speaker 3: where is it at and she's like, yeah, well if
Speaker 3: you take me, yeah, well you need to remember, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, I, okay, yes, I wrote it down. It's
Speaker 3: in my calendar. Okay. Yes. She's like, why are you
Speaker 3: talking to me like that. I was like, because I
Speaker 3: feel like I keep saying okay, yes, I'm doing it,
Speaker 3: and there's still She's like, I just feel like I
Speaker 3: was just like I just had to let it go.
Speaker 3: And I was just like, uh huh, yeah, I took
Speaker 3: Lenda to school today.
Speaker 2: Moms, mom's moms and moms moms. We just want our point,
Speaker 2: We need to get our point out. We need to
Speaker 2: make sure that you know all the details. Twelve times
Speaker 2: we're all because we're still in mom mode. And also
Speaker 2: maybe she's nervous too, so she's just like saying stuff
Speaker 2: to say stuff and wants you to be in the
Speaker 2: know of everything that's going on because this is a
Speaker 2: medical procedure.
Speaker 3: Then she's like, I could just drive myself home. I'm like,
Speaker 3: I think the point is that I drive you home.
Speaker 3: She's like, you just have to show up and tell
Speaker 3: them that you're taking me home. I've done it before.
Speaker 3: I was like, over, the point is that, That's what
Speaker 3: I said? Why would I go all the way there
Speaker 3: to do that? I said, you wait.
Speaker 2: Thirty minutes, go get a couple of coffee and come
Speaker 2: bring your drug ass home.
Speaker 3: That's what I said. I said, just uber and I'll
Speaker 3: be there to pick you up. Well, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I know anyway, moms never get less stressful or frustra.
Speaker 2: It's because she wanted you to take her and the
Speaker 2: fact that she had to uber there was a disruption
Speaker 2: and the flow of how she envisioned it going. Because
Speaker 2: that's also a mom thing too, like if it's not
Speaker 2: going exactly how they envisioned it going.
Speaker 3: Apparently she envisioned it me just showing up and saying
Speaker 3: hi and leaving and getting back in my own car
Speaker 3: and letting her drive off, fucking off amnesia or whatever
Speaker 3: the fuck. I don't fucking know what she envisioned.
Speaker 2: Not amnesia, amnesia, all theses fetitious. Yeah, you know, like
Speaker 2: much like we said on last week's episode, you know,
Speaker 2: mothers us our mothers.
Speaker 3: We're just girls. We're just the girls, you know. And
Speaker 3: sometimes you don't get the girl that you would necessarily
Speaker 3: like hang out with. Yeah you in fact, sometimes you
Speaker 3: get the girl you wouldn't hang out. So then you
Speaker 3: have to really figure it out. I'm really trying to, like, Okay,
Speaker 3: let's figure this out, to figure out this communications.
Speaker 2: So you're in this lifelong relationship with someone, so there's
Speaker 2: gonna be a lot of phases in which, like you
Speaker 2: guys are not on the same page in your personalities.
Speaker 2: And then like later on and lift, I just like
Speaker 2: see how like my relationship with my mom has evolved
Speaker 2: over the years, and how like we had so much
Speaker 2: turmoil at one point in my life, and then like
Speaker 2: how motherhood birthed us into another version of our relationship
Speaker 2: and our personalities and her life, her life changing as
Speaker 2: she's aging, you know what I mean, And like now
Speaker 2: we're in a different season of our relationship where like
Speaker 2: I do appreciate my mom more than I did before.
Speaker 2: I also see like the girl in her, you know.
Speaker 2: So it's like it's just never ending. The longest relationship ever.
Speaker 2: It's a fucking longest relationship ever. It's longer than the
Speaker 2: one you'll have with your kid. Maybe maybe around the
Speaker 2: same time actually, but like because she's no, maybe it's
Speaker 2: longer than you'll have with your kid, right, yeah, she's right,
Speaker 2: because I don't know, I'm just thinking, like how long
Speaker 2: how I don't know, it turns on when you have
Speaker 2: your kid, if you're a teen mom or something, but
Speaker 2: it's it's the longest relationship and it's your first relationship,
Speaker 2: and so it's like, I don't know, I think the
Speaker 2: we the hope is that you're like always in in
Speaker 2: this symbiotic relationship with your mother. But that's just not
Speaker 2: the fucking truth. And that's just not the that's not
Speaker 2: the reality of relationships in general, whether that's with your
Speaker 2: partner that you're in love with, whether that's your child,
Speaker 2: whether that's your mother, it's just not you.
Speaker 3: Know, relationships might just very well just like be the
Speaker 3: obstacle that like relationships are the obstacle that will eventually
Speaker 3: catapult you constantly to the next level because you're never
Speaker 3: gonna be triggered unless you are in relation with other humans,
Speaker 3: because you can't really be triggered by yourself. I mean
Speaker 3: you can, but you're gonna likely oh so much you can, yeah, so,
Speaker 3: And like even if you're a loner, if you isolate,
Speaker 3: you're gonna be triggered by the bitch at the restaurant
Speaker 3: or the motherfucker at the gas station, because God's gonna
Speaker 3: be like, oh, bitch, you think you got it away
Speaker 3: from this. No, all close relationships, especially I'm realizing now,
Speaker 3: like in a relationship where I live with my partner,
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, this is the like this is the
Speaker 3: outside of my parents and like roommates that I've had.
Speaker 3: This is the only motherfucker that I have to live
Speaker 3: this closely with. And it's like it's it brings up
Speaker 3: a lot of shit because we haven't I haven't been
Speaker 3: lived in the house with someone in so long since childhood,
Speaker 3: and now I'm here as an adult and I'm like,
Speaker 3: you're getting out of my nerves and I there's nowhere
Speaker 3: to go. I have to deal with it. So I
Speaker 3: realized that, like, yeah, relationships are literally like God's hoops
Speaker 3: that you have to jump through in life so that
Speaker 3: you can get to the next dimension hopefully.
Speaker 2: Maybe Yeah, they're mirrors for sure. I like I've been
Speaker 2: thinking about like how long I've lived alone by myself,
Speaker 2: which has been over seven years. And you know, me
Speaker 2: and shakem have you know, talked about moving in together
Speaker 2: on and off like throughout our relationship.
Speaker 3: Early on, very.
Speaker 2: Early, like I had this like extreme want for him
Speaker 2: to move We're on mushrooms and I was like, you
Speaker 2: need to move in. I know, I I know, I
Speaker 2: know you're not talking.
Speaker 3: I know it. And he was like, you know, of course.
Speaker 2: He's a reasonable smart person in relationship. But but lately
Speaker 2: I've been like just thinking about like what that dynamic
Speaker 2: it like would feel like for me to not be
Speaker 2: able to like escape and and like but like knowing
Speaker 2: that at some point like that's the goal, that's the goal,
Speaker 2: you know, but like also feeling my like fear and
Speaker 2: like sometimes it's not present at all, and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: let's do it, fuck it, and other times I'm like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, like what And so I was I
Speaker 2: was thinking about you, and I was just thinking about
Speaker 2: like all of us, all of our friends that have
Speaker 2: been in relationships where like they're living with their partners
Speaker 2: or like people are in seasons of separation and divorces,
Speaker 2: and like I'm feeling what that feels like too, like
Speaker 2: the emptiness of what that feels and like like the
Speaker 2: scariness of what that feels like. And then you graduate
Speaker 2: into like the empowerment in that place and just just
Speaker 2: how that is such an important decision, both sides of it,
Speaker 2: and like how living with someone is like I don't know,
Speaker 2: it's like an initiation, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's an initiation. And also like there's a mourning.
Speaker 3: Like Orlando just recently went back to like the workforce,
Speaker 3: like the real workforce, and I've been like, you know,
Speaker 3: home alone more and like I'm like, oh yeah, like
Speaker 3: this is what it feels like to be alone and like, oh, like, oh,
Speaker 3: like getting back into that groove and there's a morning
Speaker 3: of that. Like there was a time where when Luna
Speaker 3: would leave, I'd just be alone, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: And then there was a time where and prior to that,
Speaker 3: I was with her dad and that was fucking miserable,
Speaker 3: and you know, like just and then it was just
Speaker 3: me and Luna, and like there's always going to be
Speaker 3: like a mourning of what used to be, because even
Speaker 3: if it right now, Like I know a lot of
Speaker 3: times people feel alone and they're like, I really want
Speaker 3: a partner to like to support, and that's great too,
Speaker 3: but then there's times when you're in it and you're like,
Speaker 3: I just want to be around my own motherfucking energy,
Speaker 3: and so there's fear around it. But yeah, like luckily
Speaker 3: for me, Orlando just kind of squeezed his way into
Speaker 3: my house, into my state, my city, and my house
Speaker 3: without like I approved, but not really, but that's kind
Speaker 3: of what I needed because I probably wasn't gonna be like, yes,
Speaker 3: it's like move in together. He just left a bag
Speaker 3: and then said I'm next time I come, I'm bringing
Speaker 3: the rest of my stuff, and I said, okay. But
Speaker 3: I don't think that we really sit in these decisions
Speaker 3: that we make, especially as women, because women are just
Speaker 3: like hand fed this tale that you're supposed to get
Speaker 3: married and have babies and move in together and everything's
Speaker 3: going to be happy and beautiful, and like, I think
Speaker 3: men are actually more like aware because they are not
Speaker 3: given that same like protocol and called like normalcy. They
Speaker 3: can be players and have a bachelor pad forever. Whereas women,
Speaker 3: it's like even when we're all we're like, I want
Speaker 3: a partner and I want a husband, you know, like,
Speaker 3: and I feel that it's been a process and I
Speaker 3: love it. I love I love being in partnership, and
Speaker 3: I love like Orlando, and we have a really fun
Speaker 3: household because we have fun together and we joke and
Speaker 3: we play and you know, but sometimes it gets real.
Speaker 3: It's like you already have a responsibility of caring for
Speaker 3: your child, and then another human comes in and then
Speaker 3: like even right now, like I as he's gone back
Speaker 3: to the work force, I feel like an immense amount
Speaker 3: of pressure to perform for what like dinner cleaning?
Speaker 2: Why you have you're you're in the workforce too.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 6: The patriarchy, it's who's patriarching you though You're like you're
Speaker 6: you're you're feeling like you're falling back into like having
Speaker 6: this Is it because you want to do it or
Speaker 6: maybe it's something that you actually like and want.
Speaker 2: To do because you did have big dreams of being
Speaker 2: a housewife at one point in your life, so that
Speaker 2: that feeling obviously exists within you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I just want to win you want
Speaker 3: to win what I don't know the best, like I
Speaker 3: could be the best wife, yeah, yeah, yeah, but then
Speaker 3: I want that's where that feeling came from. Back now,
Speaker 3: I don't yeah, I think so. And like even now,
Speaker 3: no one said any of these things to me. In fact,
Speaker 3: Orlando was like fucking with me, joking the other day
Speaker 3: about like you don't know how to be a wife,
Speaker 3: and I got super offended and I was like that
Speaker 3: was very rude. And then I stayed up late and
Speaker 3: prepare lunch for the next day for five am. And
Speaker 3: then you know, there's just like these like I don't know,
Speaker 3: my mind switches like, oh well, he's bringing home bacon now,
Speaker 3: so I gotta cook it and I gotta clean and
Speaker 3: I got to like and even as a child, I
Speaker 3: think it also stems from like I would sit around
Speaker 3: all day until I knew my parents were coming home,
Speaker 3: and then in the last like twenty minutes of their return,
Speaker 3: I would just clean up the whole house because that
Speaker 3: was what I was. I was responsible for like a
Speaker 3: lot of responsibilities as a young woman. And like I
Speaker 3: see that come up in me now, like if someone
Speaker 3: leaves and comes back, I think I'm so to clean
Speaker 3: the whole house. But I just I feel like I
Speaker 3: don't know, I can kind of see where men get
Speaker 3: it from. Like before, when I was feeling like more
Speaker 3: of the how do you say, the head of household
Speaker 3: that I had more leverage.
Speaker 2: To kind of like to be like I don't want
Speaker 2: to clean it.
Speaker 3: Yeah whatever, I'm like, I don't want to need to cook.
Speaker 3: And now I'm like.
Speaker 2: Well, now you're called to be an equals in ways.
Speaker 3: She doesn't like that. I was like, god, do I
Speaker 3: kind of like being the boss of everything and everybody?
Speaker 3: I do a little bit, but shut up, Orlando. Now
Speaker 3: I have to, yeah, find a balance in like all
Speaker 3: the things like not trying to overdo so much but
Speaker 3: also trying for somebody else.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, this is what relationships are about. It's
Speaker 2: about like he's this new dynamic is asking for you
Speaker 2: to expand in some way because you can't run from
Speaker 2: it because this person lives with you now and you
Speaker 2: guys are engaged in building a life together and b like,
Speaker 2: this is how he's shown up for you, like over
Speaker 2: these last you know what, however, long then you know
Speaker 2: this dynamic, this other id dynamic existed and he did
Speaker 2: he has I've seen it, and now that you know,
Speaker 2: there's like this new element coming in where he's you know,
Speaker 2: in the workforce, Like, yeah, there's like a balance and
Speaker 2: that's what you don't like. Okay, I got it. You
Speaker 2: should see you most and that's she's like, and shut
Speaker 2: the fuck up.
Speaker 3: And I also feel like the patriarchy coming out of
Speaker 3: his purse ever since you got a job. I just
Speaker 3: think it just like something switches in men. And then
Speaker 3: he's like, he got my shoes, bitch. He didn't say that,
Speaker 3: but in my mind, that's what he's saying. And then
Speaker 3: I'm like, I gotta go to the gym. I gotta
Speaker 3: get my butt right. And then I'm like, I gotta
Speaker 3: cook dinner too, and I gotta clean it up and
Speaker 3: I gotta forget the child. What the fuck? And then
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my god, is this like single motherhead again?
Speaker 3: It is? Damn Yeah, it's kind of intense, but as
Speaker 3: you can see, I'm working through it with ease.
Speaker 2: What were you like as a like what we like
Speaker 2: in other dynamics when you lived with men where you
Speaker 2: wasn't because you were younger, so it was different. Do
Speaker 2: you guys like, did you guys have like that my
Speaker 2: baby daddy because I'm thinking about myself, and I was like,
Speaker 2: did I like step into like that housewife mode ever
Speaker 2: even in my last long ass relationship, And I'm.
Speaker 3: Gonna say no, My my my baby daddy didn't really
Speaker 3: step into like the provider role at all. So I
Speaker 3: didn't really feel the pressure. I didn't feel supported that much.
Speaker 3: Like in some ways, yes, but I really viewed him
Speaker 3: and and I realize this now because God, bless his heart.
Speaker 3: You know, we knew each other for so long, and
Speaker 3: like as high school sweethearts, I feel like I got
Speaker 3: like maybe the worst of him. I ate because we
Speaker 3: were young, but b because I knew him so well,
Speaker 3: Like I was thinking that, like is he ever going
Speaker 3: to find someone? Like is he gonna move on and
Speaker 3: like have someone? And I was like maybe, because that
Speaker 3: person will never know him as much as I know him.
Speaker 3: And will I mean never, I don't know, but like
Speaker 3: or knew him or like or knew him, like he
Speaker 3: was so comfortable with me that he would literally show
Speaker 3: his ass like there was no you know, like when
Speaker 3: you get to know someone, you're like presenting the best
Speaker 3: parts of yourself. And I kind of feel bad like
Speaker 3: he he felt like he could wile out in the
Speaker 3: most extreme ways because we were so close. We were
Speaker 3: literally there was times I felt like we were like
Speaker 3: siblings close, like I knew him. I've known him for
Speaker 3: like twenty five years at this point, So there is that.
Speaker 3: But I didn't feel like he showed up in that way.
Speaker 3: So there wasn't like a huge need for me to
Speaker 3: show up that way. And I still did. But I
Speaker 3: feel like in this relationship, like you said, Orlando has
Speaker 3: supported me and us and our Luna and like a major,
Speaker 3: major ways. That's very clear and obvious. And so now
Speaker 3: they're like the pressure's on. It's like, oh bitch, now
Speaker 3: it's your turn. Can you do it? And I'm like, ooh, well,
Speaker 3: what what parts of it do you actually enjoy?
Speaker 2: Like maybe just you don't have to be good at everything,
Speaker 2: Like maybe like what part of being in sort of
Speaker 2: any sort of service or balance in that dynamic to Orlando,
Speaker 2: do you enjoy Like do you like cooking? Second dick, Okay,
Speaker 2: there's that. I do, like you were doing that anyway though.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like cooking. I do like cooking. I don't
Speaker 3: like cleaning that much. And I feel like I'm like, obviously,
Speaker 3: because if you live in a house with anyone else,
Speaker 3: you're always cleaning. But soon I'm making a cleaner.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, yeah, so you just need to
Speaker 2: get a house keeper. You're gonna call the housekeeper in.
Speaker 2: But maybe and then maybe you can cook, and then
Speaker 2: you would enjoy that because you do like cooking.
Speaker 3: I do. Yeah, yeah, bitch, So.
Speaker 2: I think that I think you're putting on I'm not
Speaker 2: think like enjoying this a little bit more than you.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe just don't put so much pressure on yourself
Speaker 2: to fucking have to do everything that a wife does,
Speaker 2: Like what is a wife? What is a wife's responsibility
Speaker 2: in your patriarchal programming and.
Speaker 3: My patriochal programming, is that like everything like like everything
Speaker 3: else to support the family, which is like cooking, which
Speaker 3: is cleaning, which is I realize that, like I'm not
Speaker 3: good at planning ahead. So if one thing, if I like,
Speaker 3: do one thing lazy, then everything else is messed up.
Speaker 3: If I like, if I you know, like if I
Speaker 3: don't clean the house and it's hard for me to cook,
Speaker 3: and then it's like everything's a disaster. Then it's late
Speaker 3: and then I didn't wake up early enough to make
Speaker 3: the lunch, and then everything's fucked up. Snowball it's just snowballing. Ef,
Speaker 3: It's all bad. It's late here, fucking don't do anything.
Speaker 3: Order pizza. I mean kind of sometimes. I mean, just
Speaker 3: like we were.
Speaker 2: Talking about again in last week's episode, around like surrendering
Speaker 2: to the mess of like motherhood too, and like sometimes
Speaker 2: you're not gonna like fucking hit all the mom marks,
Speaker 2: Like sometimes you gotta like do the shortcut wife mark too.
Speaker 3: Keep in mind, I'm only on day fifteen.
Speaker 2: Okay, guess it's a new muscle you're flexing. Yeah, you
Speaker 2: know it's a little flat that, Yeah.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: I never like when I think about wife wifing, cleaning
Speaker 2: is not in the I mean I clean anyway, but
Speaker 2: like it being a part of my duty as your
Speaker 2: wife is not party.
Speaker 3: You have a cleaner, you don't even think about it,
Speaker 3: Like you just come home and it's cleaning and thinking
Speaker 3: about your mind is clear.
Speaker 2: My house gets dirty in one day, maybe every house,
Speaker 2: even though you have a cleaner like your My house
Speaker 2: is dirty within twenty four hours. Again. But I like,
Speaker 2: I will say, like the cooking aspect, because there's parts
Speaker 2: of like I never cooked really for Freddy at all,
Speaker 2: and like cleaned except that fried chicken, except for that
Speaker 2: fight chicken. And there was a reason. But maybe that's
Speaker 2: why I didn't work out. I like tod know, wife duties,
Speaker 2: like none of them.
Speaker 3: Was he expecting that from me? No, I don't think so.
Speaker 3: And the crazy part is my mom was not that
Speaker 3: type of wife at all. I don't know where I
Speaker 3: collected these ideas from, Like my dad was. I'm marrying
Speaker 3: someone who in some ways really does a mirror my dad,
Speaker 3: Like my dad was the primary cook in my household.
Speaker 3: My dad really was like like my mama took us
Speaker 3: to like appointments and make sure we got our fucking
Speaker 3: teeth to the dentist and she like that. But my
Speaker 3: dad really was like hands on. So I don't know
Speaker 3: where I'd adopted these Well, that's probably Latina house Latina
Speaker 3: culture of my housewife, because I literally I think it's
Speaker 3: because I didn't see it in my household.
Speaker 2: I was to say, because you didn't see it's probably
Speaker 2: why you have resistance for it.
Speaker 3: And also I kind of like like admired that, like
Speaker 3: I wanted to be pretty but like big cakes and
Speaker 3: stuff like that. But yeah, but I honestly I aspired
Speaker 3: to be a rich housewife, kind of like that lady
Speaker 3: that I we know on the line that I sent
Speaker 3: you the other day that I said, it's kind of
Speaker 3: getting on my nerves, probably because I'm kind of jealous.
Speaker 2: I'm not jealous.
Speaker 3: She's like, look at what my cook made me, look
Speaker 3: at my chef, And I'm like, that's how I could
Speaker 3: be a housewife if I have a chef, a maid,
Speaker 3: and the chauffeur.
Speaker 2: I mean that sounds like my kind of housewife. And honestly,
Speaker 2: like I don't. I think I haven't. I haven't somewhat patriarchal.
Speaker 2: I don't even gonna call it that, just traditional traditional
Speaker 2: trad wife things that come up in my relationships, Like
Speaker 2: I do enjoy cooking, But do I want to cook
Speaker 2: every night?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: Like and cooking is like a new thing that I
Speaker 2: enjoy in my relationship. Do I enjoy cleaning? I like
Speaker 2: to have a clean house. I will clean if I'm
Speaker 2: annoyed and I'm like, fuck it, we just need to
Speaker 2: clean the shit up. But like, do I have that
Speaker 2: part of my duties? No, that's like a shared responsibility, Like.
Speaker 3: Do I washing clothes?
Speaker 2: I fucking hate washing clothes. I fucking hate folding clothes,
Speaker 2: putting them away. I will put them in the machine,
Speaker 2: but the.
Speaker 3: Last those last two steps, you can.
Speaker 2: Count me out. Like I don't need that. So I
Speaker 2: think that like for me to be really true, really
Speaker 2: happy and as a wife in the relationship dynamic like
Speaker 2: a there needs to be a fifty to fifty element.
Speaker 3: The way I got it.
Speaker 2: Fucked up though, was the fifty to fifty like paying element,
Speaker 2: because I did that in relationships where like I went
Speaker 2: fifty to fifty with my baby daddy on a lot
Speaker 2: of shit, and I should have never done.
Speaker 3: I should have never did that, Like I don't know
Speaker 3: why the fuck I did that. This bitch is stupid. Yeah,
Speaker 3: he's like, okay, all right, you might pay half the right.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think it's like I think it's like
Speaker 2: my own like hyperindependence trauma around like money and people
Speaker 2: thinking like feeling like I owe anybody anything.
Speaker 3: Also like just liking my it's not even hyper deefents.
Speaker 2: I just like feeling like independent and I've done I'm
Speaker 2: doing something for me, you know. But sometimes at my
Speaker 2: own detriment, like where I'm like fucking at my lost
Speaker 2: last dollar. Don't don't know how I'm gonna like it,
Speaker 2: and I'm not gonna say anything like that's stupid as hell,
Speaker 2: But the fifty fifty dynamic doesn't doesn't I need that
Speaker 2: dynamic aside from that in my household. But for the
Speaker 2: most part, like, yeah, I want I want service in
Speaker 2: the home. I think that that's going to help. I
Speaker 2: think that if I think that will help my relationship.
Speaker 2: And I know, I know that's like yes, that's like okay, bitch, well,
Speaker 2: but yeah, like in my ideal world, if we're talking
Speaker 2: ideally and the life that I'm calling in that I'm
Speaker 2: working really hard for, that is what's going to happen.
Speaker 2: It's what's going to need to happen.
Speaker 3: Because I want to go to lunch with my friends.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't want to stay home.
Speaker 3: I want to go to my gym and then come
Speaker 3: home and like dinner's already prepared and I just like
Speaker 3: put in the oven. I think that, you know what
Speaker 3: I realized in this like as I'm preparing to uh
Speaker 3: literally walk down the aisle and like expand my family
Speaker 3: and like I'm getting older even though I've been an
Speaker 3: adult for a very long time, I realized that like
Speaker 3: the vowels or like the role of a wife isn't
Speaker 3: something I've had to really deeply like sit with and
Speaker 3: understand and like vow like vow to because it's been
Speaker 3: a concept for so long that yes, I want to
Speaker 3: be married, But I think that these niggas have so
Speaker 3: generally on a mass level, comes so below the bar
Speaker 3: that I haven't really it's only been a concept. It's
Speaker 3: never been something I've actually had to put into play
Speaker 3: because most of the men that I've dated have not
Speaker 3: shown up in a way that I've had to like
Speaker 3: really be like, Wow, I feel so supportive, such a
Speaker 3: great man. What do I need to do next? So
Speaker 3: now that I'm in that space, I'm like, oh, ship,
Speaker 3: your turn. I got to read a book or something.
Speaker 3: What pages this on? Fuss? I want to chat because
Speaker 3: they know everything. Chat. I think Chatchibut is a she,
Speaker 3: a he, or a they. It's anyone you want, you
Speaker 3: can you can assign it. You can assign its gender. Yeah,
Speaker 3: did your talk to you? I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't do that. I don't even know how to
Speaker 2: do that. How do I make him talk to me?
Speaker 3: But I don't know, I don't, I don't like I
Speaker 3: robot in my foot in house?
Speaker 2: How do you become a wife?
Speaker 3: How do you know? Not become? How do you be away?
Speaker 3: How do you be? How? What are wife duties?
Speaker 7: Be a wife?
Speaker 2: Tragbt Thanks a big and meaningful question, and a good
Speaker 2: one to ask. If you're thinking about marriage, are newly
Speaker 2: wet or just trying to grow in your role?
Speaker 3: That's me you start with.
Speaker 2: You know yourself, your values, goals, boundaries, and identity matter
Speaker 2: just as much in marriage as it does before. So
Speaker 2: kind of like when you're become a parent. Don't lose
Speaker 2: your identity. Stay grounded, Okay, don't lose your sense of
Speaker 2: self in your role.
Speaker 3: Tell us myself say it again, tullless myself, don't us myself,
Speaker 3: tell us myself.
Speaker 2: A healthy marriage includes two whole people, not one person
Speaker 2: disappearing into another. Yeah that fifty to fifty or one one,
Speaker 2: not fifty to fifty's together one plus plus two three
Speaker 2: because third, h I got it. Listen, look at me, nye,
Speaker 2: keep looking at me.
Speaker 3: You got it? Got it? One three plus one equals
Speaker 3: two plus one is three.
Speaker 2: Don't forget that, Okay, communicate honestly speak your needs clearly
Speaker 2: and listen to your partners' needs. Listen, listen, practice empathy.
Speaker 3: I care, but what you're saying you don't always have
Speaker 3: to agree.
Speaker 2: But it helps to meet in the middle.
Speaker 3: I genuinely care.
Speaker 2: You have to be in the middle all the time.
Speaker 3: I don't care.
Speaker 2: That's where the fun. The fun is where you don't
Speaker 2: meet in the middle. Don't bottle things up. Resentment grows
Speaker 2: in silence.
Speaker 3: That's true. That's the hardest one. Though.
Speaker 2: Build and rebuild intimacy. This includes emotional closeness, physical affection, vulnerability,
Speaker 2: and fun. Stay curious about your partner. Don't assume you
Speaker 2: know everything about them just because you're married. This is
Speaker 2: this is very ethical.
Speaker 3: Okay, chatchy, she's been reading the internet. Live live.
Speaker 2: The commitment marriage is as a choice you make daily,
Speaker 2: not just a status. It's not just a concept, bitch.
Speaker 2: It's a real thing.
Speaker 3: Okay, not just the ring and the dress.
Speaker 2: Got it? Keep growing? Know what a light? Know what
Speaker 2: a wife isn't?
Speaker 3: What is a wife isn't?
Speaker 2: A wife is not a servant.
Speaker 3: Oh see write that down, Orlando.
Speaker 2: She is not a doormat or an emotional dumping ground
Speaker 2: or a robot.
Speaker 3: Ai, you are.
Speaker 2: Not responsible for managing everything. You can't manage everything, all
Speaker 2: the all the things, all of this. You can't even
Speaker 2: manage all of his emotions. I can't even manage my
Speaker 2: own his responsibilities or his mistakes, you can't manage them.
Speaker 2: He has to deal with that shit himself. Sometimes I
Speaker 2: get a therapist if something feels deeply wrong. Trust your
Speaker 2: instincts and seek help.
Speaker 3: Therapist. I'm calling eve this.
Speaker 2: A final thought that chatchybt Haspepe. Being a wife is
Speaker 2: ultimately about being a partner. It's about mutual respect, care,
Speaker 2: growth and teamwork, not outdated stereotypes or losing yourself. I'll
Speaker 2: do it, stereott it okay. If you want to talk
Speaker 2: about this in terms of your culture, religion, or personal situation,
Speaker 2: I can tailor the advice to fit that too. Put
Speaker 2: for blacks, would you like a version of this in
Speaker 2: checklist or journal prompt form? And that's where we're done,
Speaker 2: chatty Chi, that's where the sense to your journal.
Speaker 3: Orlando has been at work for six zero point seven
Speaker 3: hours and I don't know what to do. Should I
Speaker 3: start with the dishes or the laundry? Today I did
Speaker 3: clean the kitchen, and I did the dishes and I
Speaker 3: put it on stories.
Speaker 2: So I saw it looks great.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to be accountable online. If if I do
Speaker 3: it online, then I'll do it. It's true, it's kind
Speaker 3: of fucked up. It's the why I take my vitamins
Speaker 3: every morning.
Speaker 2: It's the line.
Speaker 3: It's the only way the Internet's working for.
Speaker 2: Me, the only way if I don't take my vitamins
Speaker 2: on Instagram stories, did I take that?
Speaker 3: I do it? Am I even a wife? Did you
Speaker 3: see my ring? Did you see me get proposed to?
Speaker 3: Like now I'm cleaning death? Yeah? No, wife?
Speaker 2: The wife role is crazy. I was telling Mila before
Speaker 2: we started recording that I've been taking care of my
Speaker 2: boyfriend because he was sick over the last two weeks
Speaker 2: and just thinking about like through the vows of marriage,
Speaker 2: through sickness and health and how like I was like,
Speaker 2: can I do this? Am I? Like one day he's
Speaker 2: going to get old, Like like like my dog Shaka
Speaker 2: that I was annoyed the fuck with when she got old.
Speaker 3: That was a dog, babe, I know, but I loved
Speaker 3: her at one point.
Speaker 2: Agent I'm just saying, like I had to really ask myself,
Speaker 2: can I care for someone's health long term, like if
Speaker 2: you are if you sign up to a healthy person
Speaker 2: right and you don't even consider the fact that they
Speaker 2: might potentially fall ill, get sick. And I'm thinking of
Speaker 2: like all the people whose partners like have cancer, like
Speaker 2: all these different things that you just you didn't sign
Speaker 2: up for. Well, you did sign up for when you said,
Speaker 2: I guess when you've said that vow, but you didn't
Speaker 2: know you signed up for until you were there, and
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, I gotta wipe this nigga's ass. I
Speaker 2: did not what my man's ass for the record, but I'm.
Speaker 3: Saying, would you look, yeah, I would.
Speaker 2: I'm glad we're not there yet. But like, I would
Speaker 2: do a lot of things for the people that I love.
Speaker 2: I know that about myself. And that's what this situation
Speaker 2: also showed me is that iye, I would do a
Speaker 2: lot for the people that I love. But it does
Speaker 2: require and pull something out of you that sometimes you
Speaker 2: have to go looking for. You have to go search
Speaker 2: for it. It's not just there by nature, like you know,
Speaker 2: as women, we're always talking about like we're nurturers by nature,
Speaker 2: and it's like nurture is by nature to who.
Speaker 3: But everyone liked our kids because it came out of
Speaker 3: our body and like that reaction.
Speaker 2: Nurture to our partners, but like to what ex stent
Speaker 2: to how far? Like I think that there's everyone has
Speaker 2: their their limits and their spectrums in that and it's
Speaker 2: not just like one hundred percent all the time. And
Speaker 2: that was surprising for me because I was like, of
Speaker 2: course I would just step into this role. Of course,
Speaker 2: it's easy, of course. And then I was like ooh, okay,
Speaker 2: and you know, I'm like it was just it was
Speaker 2: just interesting because I was really thinking about like, yeah,
Speaker 2: like the vows that you take when you marry someone
Speaker 2: and you say those things through sickness and health, and
Speaker 2: how often those things happen and it destroys relationships because
Speaker 2: you weren't really prepared for what that looked like and
Speaker 2: or or you're in it right now and you're like
Speaker 2: rising to the occasion and actually like damn, I didn't
Speaker 2: even know I had this in me.
Speaker 3: Fuck the preparation. Yeah, the preparation. And a lot of us,
Speaker 3: I mean most of us are there's like no just
Speaker 3: like there's no mommy handbook outside of a good mom's
Speaker 3: gude to making bad choices. But there's no guide necessarily
Speaker 3: to how to be, you know, a supportive nurturing wife,
Speaker 3: and there are I'm.
Speaker 2: Sure the Trachy has a guy.
Speaker 3: I've chattypt has everything, but like to embody it and
Speaker 3: to like just show up that way is not like
Speaker 3: and I unpopular opinion, like all women are not nurturing
Speaker 3: and most of us are not. Because if you didn't
Speaker 3: see your mom be nurturing, then how the fuck are
Speaker 3: you supposed to like actualize something that you've never witnessed
Speaker 3: or experienced. Even that time, if you look in our
Speaker 3: our archives that time that I was dating a gentleman
Speaker 3: named adventure Bae, I mean went to Palm Springs and
Speaker 3: this motherfucker out passed out, fainted, and my first instinct was, oh,
Speaker 3: hell n hell to the no. I don't even know
Speaker 3: you'd like that. I was like, I was pretending to
Speaker 3: be nurturing, but in my head, I was like counting
Speaker 3: your day, days are numbered, niggas. I was like, he's
Speaker 3: too old, he faints in the heat. I was like very,
Speaker 3: I was showing up real nurturing. I was petting him,
Speaker 3: I was looking into his eyes, but inside I was panicking,
Speaker 3: like this nigga has got to go, and that was
Speaker 3: the first time I was like, oh no, I don't
Speaker 3: like you enough for this. There is a level of
Speaker 3: love that you get to that then you, I think,
Speaker 3: can can catapult you to a nurturing space where you're like, oh,
Speaker 3: I love you a lot because I can show up
Speaker 3: this way. But in that moment especially, I guess at
Speaker 3: that time it was five years ago. Fuck wow, uh,
Speaker 3: Luna was like five, and I was like, I already
Speaker 3: have a human outside of me that I have to
Speaker 3: care for and nurture and that's like not a liability.
Speaker 2: That can be a mother's excuse for a whole lifetime.
Speaker 2: Though I don't know is at any point you are
Speaker 2: like I don't You're always I'll always feel that way
Speaker 2: about my daughter, you know what I mean, Like even
Speaker 2: if she goes off into the world and obviously the
Speaker 2: relationship changes. But I'm like, I.
Speaker 3: Can't handle if anything happens to you five or fifteen
Speaker 3: shit like, but that's the thing, like you, I couldn't.
Speaker 3: I couldn't handle it if anything severe happened to my child,
Speaker 3: I would like show up it all all the way.
Speaker 3: But like you have, and that's someone who has come
Speaker 3: out of my body, Like physically, I saw you come
Speaker 3: out of my kuchi. So this other nigga that came
Speaker 3: out of somebody who else is kuchi? I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't know if it's like.
Speaker 2: Not my kuchie, not my problem problem.
Speaker 3: You came out of it. But you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 3: come out of it. You know you might go in
Speaker 3: there sometimes, you know, So it is like you really
Speaker 3: have to really examine. And I will admit, like I'm
Speaker 3: in a space where I'm opened that I don't necessarily
Speaker 3: come with these tools and tricks and I have to
Speaker 3: like kind of be in a place where I am
Speaker 3: empathetic and supportive and showing up for my family in
Speaker 3: a way that like I haven't really Like I feel
Speaker 3: like it's just getting real right now, Like shit's getting real.
Speaker 3: Like I got the ring, got bitch, he got a job.
Speaker 3: Now what you're gonna do? You gotta really show up.
Speaker 3: But I'm not gonna put so much pressure on myself.
Speaker 3: But I do feel like even in like the Kenya
Speaker 3: ste Caven's Kenya k Stevens class that we took on,
Speaker 3: like the marital pre marital stuff was helpful, but I'm
Speaker 3: like I need to read books or like at least
Speaker 3: make a make a make pillars for myself so that
Speaker 3: I can like actively be working on showing up in
Speaker 3: this role better. Just like if I was going to
Speaker 3: show up at Good Moms and we did a retreat,
Speaker 3: now I got to show up in that way. And
Speaker 3: we do merch, so now I got to show up
Speaker 3: in that way. Like just like any other job or partnership,
Speaker 3: or like in school, if I want to learn something,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go to class and figure it out. Like
Speaker 3: I recognize that that's the only way you get better
Speaker 3: if you like ask other wives or you read a
Speaker 3: book or the Divine just downloads wife things to.
Speaker 2: You or you and just do it and like get on,
Speaker 2: get be okay with the discomfort of it. I think,
Speaker 2: like even thinking about like you're taking that marital course
Speaker 2: with Kenya, and just all the and just the tools
Speaker 2: in general that like we've acquired over the course of
Speaker 2: our careers in life, Like sometimes it's still hard to
Speaker 2: put those things in practice when you're in an argument,
Speaker 2: when you're like when you're when you're default at coming
Speaker 2: up and you're like, I don't give a fuck, get
Speaker 2: the fuck out of my face. I don't want to
Speaker 2: do animal anime whatever the fuck. But you're like, but
Speaker 2: you know, it requires one person to at least be
Speaker 2: able to bring you back to that space, because both
Speaker 2: of you are not always gonna meet there and be
Speaker 2: ready to do the work together at the same time.
Speaker 2: And like it does require like the someone to be
Speaker 2: in it.
Speaker 3: Well the other person isn't. You can't learn the tools,
Speaker 3: but like actually utilizing them in a high fucking emotional
Speaker 3: place is a whole different thing. I can know to meditate,
Speaker 3: I know the fucking water element, bitch. But am I
Speaker 3: gonna get angry and go I'll be back. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: go meditate and then we'll come back and talk about this. Yeah,
Speaker 3: probably the fuck not yeah, because the Philly in me
Speaker 3: is too clear and too like rembunct Like you have
Speaker 3: to constantly be sharpening that tool. And like even in
Speaker 3: our relationship, even as a mom, I'm like, I can
Speaker 3: know what to do put your fucking phone down, bitch,
Speaker 3: and sometimes you just don't do it. And it's like
Speaker 3: and you can like attack yourself and be disappointed and
Speaker 3: be yourself, but also gently starting over and doing it
Speaker 3: again and giving yourself the opportunity to do it again
Speaker 3: and again to like to eventually be better. You're going
Speaker 3: to fail before you actually actualize it. But maybe this, like,
Speaker 3: especially in a world where everybody's in open relationships, and
Speaker 3: I feel like marriage is like not a priority as much.
Speaker 3: We're not even like coming up in a socially in
Speaker 3: a place where like long term partnership is prioritized or
Speaker 3: talked about positively, So we really have to like try.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it's true, because, like I mean, I've I guess,
Speaker 2: I guess I've had an example of long term partnership
Speaker 2: with my mom and that I guess I have, but it.
Speaker 3: Still feels foreign to me.
Speaker 2: It still feels foreign to me, I think, because the
Speaker 2: dynamic that my mom and my stepfather have is like beautiful,
Speaker 2: and but it's not like necessarily like what I'm aspiring for,
Speaker 2: do you know what I mean? And I don't mean
Speaker 2: that in an offensive way. I just mean, like, I know,
Speaker 2: like what my soul's path and love is supposed to
Speaker 2: look like is not the What.
Speaker 3: Does it look like outside of the main and the
Speaker 3: driver and the cook like mine, Like outside.
Speaker 2: Of that passion passion, it looks like passion. It looks
Speaker 2: like deep, deep communication. It looks like spontaneity. It looks
Speaker 2: like collaboration, it looks like working together, it looks like space,
Speaker 2: it looks like.
Speaker 3: Individualism.
Speaker 2: It looks like like I invited. I am inviting in
Speaker 2: the discomfort. Like even yesterday me and him sat and
Speaker 2: like yab yum, and like I was not. I didn't
Speaker 2: give a I didn't really want to. And that's what
Speaker 2: I was thinking about, Like knowing you have these tools
Speaker 2: and you do them and it didn't go how I want.
Speaker 2: It didn't go how we hope it goes. But we
Speaker 2: did it, do you know what I mean? And like
Speaker 2: it's just like but I'm okay. I woke up this morning.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm okay with that because I'm still in
Speaker 2: the work with it. I'm still doing the work. It's
Speaker 2: just like sometimes the work there's no progress when you
Speaker 2: show up, Like sometimes you sit on a call. Sometimes
Speaker 2: we'll sit on a call and be like did we
Speaker 2: get anything done?
Speaker 3: I don't know, But what we showed up literally yesterday,
Speaker 3: but we showed up. What do you think? I don't know,
Speaker 3: I don't fucking know, But like what we showed up?
Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean? So it eventually eventually
Speaker 3: the answers will be answered.
Speaker 2: But I think that that's like also like what I'm
Speaker 2: realizing relationships are like too. It's like sometimes there's no progress,
Speaker 2: you know, but you're showing up, so.
Speaker 3: There is, there's always a process.
Speaker 2: It's like the consistency of showing up even when like
Speaker 2: no decision has been made, no choices have been resolved,
Speaker 2: like things haven't been resolved, but you're there, you know.
Speaker 2: So I want to be in relationship with my partner,
Speaker 2: and I am in relationship with my partner where we're
Speaker 2: both committed to showing up at least at the very least,
Speaker 2: we're going to show.
Speaker 3: It, like we agreed to be here, So let's do
Speaker 3: our best, let's put our best fit forward, Let's grow
Speaker 3: in the process and agree that it might not always
Speaker 3: look like this, it might not always be easy, but
Speaker 3: we're here to see out the process whatever that is. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: and I agree. Like the passion, I think that that's
Speaker 3: always been really big for me, Like romanticism and passion,
Speaker 3: and like I even as a like a rebel with thought,
Speaker 3: a rebel hoe without a cause, I was very clear
Speaker 3: that like I wanted a relationship that was like juicy
Speaker 3: and fun and like intimate and like there's chemistry, and
Speaker 3: like I think a lot of times we look at
Speaker 3: movies and like people try to say, like I mean,
Speaker 3: and obviously I've only been in a relationship five years
Speaker 3: or four or five years, but I think that there's
Speaker 3: space for it to be passionate and to be all
Speaker 3: those things and to like still be attracted to your partner,
Speaker 3: Like is it gonna be on ten forever? Maybe not,
Speaker 3: but I do think, like the move the movie theater
Speaker 3: version we see of love, like that high arows, like
Speaker 3: I think that that is is obtainable, and I think
Speaker 3: they tell you like, oh, sex is gonna die, Like
Speaker 3: they give you all these things that to expect, and
Speaker 3: I just like I refuse to accept that, and I
Speaker 3: and I and like, thankfully in my relationship, I'm continuously
Speaker 3: every day proving that wrong, because there's attraction, there's love,
Speaker 3: there's there's sex, you know what I mean, There's spontaneity,
Speaker 3: and I feel like people underestimate like the passion peace
Speaker 3: in relationships and and like long term marriages. Even the
Speaker 3: other day, I was doing like ask a sexologist on
Speaker 3: my stories, and somebody asked, like, I feel like I
Speaker 3: can't be as sexually open as I used to be,
Speaker 3: And I was like, that's because a lot of times,
Speaker 3: like the resentment gets so high, so there's like you
Speaker 3: feel like the other person's constantly judging you, whereas before
Speaker 3: you're like, oh, anything you want to do, baby, you know,
Speaker 3: and then when things happen and things happen and things happen,
Speaker 3: then you're building up judgments and ideas about the other
Speaker 3: person that don't allow you to like just let them. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but I like that is one of the things that's high, high,
Speaker 3: high on my list, Like I want you to be
Speaker 3: smacking my ass and us to be making out and
Speaker 3: like doing fun shit and like having that desire for
Speaker 3: one another forever or else we're roommates.
Speaker 2: I think that, yes, And I think that there's probably
Speaker 2: people listening that have like maybe, like you said, like
Speaker 2: experience that in their relationship early on or maybe for
Speaker 2: a long time, and then there's a break in the
Speaker 2: in the dynamic and it's like maybe it's just changed,
Speaker 2: like maybe it's over. Maybe we can't get it back.
Speaker 2: And that's where like the showing up part is, that's
Speaker 2: where the work shows up, because their relationships do go
Speaker 2: through seasons like I pray that you and Orlando never
Speaker 2: go through a season like that. But if you do,
Speaker 2: knowing that like there, you can always get back to
Speaker 2: that place, you know, like, but there is a requirement
Speaker 2: for you to at least show up.
Speaker 3: And both be willing.
Speaker 2: I don't even say open, because sometimes one person might
Speaker 2: not really be open in that moment, but you're but
Speaker 2: you're still there, you know, to be able to pull
Speaker 2: the other, roll the other one out yeaeah. And that's
Speaker 2: what I hear a lot about, like in marriages too,
Speaker 2: It's like not everyone's always all the way in the
Speaker 2: whole time. It's it's like the beauty the longest relationships
Speaker 2: are like we just were on this. We were our
Speaker 2: our our entity, our whatever we created was on the
Speaker 2: different level at each at each moment, and.
Speaker 3: You weren't when I was at fun. Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: And it's like and and that's and that's how you
Speaker 2: know you're supposed to be with that person, you know, Like,
Speaker 2: this is not you saying be miserable in your relationship.
Speaker 3: Hell, don't be miserable, but also do something about it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's why I told the gentleman who was in my damns.
Speaker 3: I was like, well, then do it. Then like, it's
Speaker 3: not it's it's not rocket science. Don't over don't overthink it,
Speaker 3: just do it. And I was like, go to the tribe.
Speaker 3: You know, it's my favorite thing in the world. Go
Speaker 3: to the drive in movie and finger Banger in the trunk.
Speaker 2: Just take ecstasy and you know, you know what Jamila's
Speaker 2: cure for everything is you need Molly therapy.
Speaker 3: I didn't say for everything at first. I said the
Speaker 3: drive in bait, which is very PG and then I
Speaker 3: said sometimes I will never forget or like our you're
Speaker 3: one of our podcasts.
Speaker 2: She's like, I'm going, oh, I'm going to New York
Speaker 2: to go do Molly therapy with Young Bey because this
Speaker 2: is how we're going to heal our relationship. And I
Speaker 2: was like, is that right?
Speaker 3: Did I do it? I don't think it worked.
Speaker 2: Thank god it didn't work.
Speaker 3: Oh my good God. I think you did do it.
Speaker 3: But God, thank God for getting out of relationships when
Speaker 3: it's time to get out of them. Because Young Bay
Speaker 3: was not it. Neither was it Venture Bay or any
Speaker 3: of the other bays that were on the list of bays.
Speaker 3: But I mean it's and you know what, and like
Speaker 3: shut out to us for trying and for you know,
Speaker 3: allowing ourselves to grow and to figure out exactly what
Speaker 3: it was that we needed, because without all the taste tests,
Speaker 3: you don't really know what kind of cake you want.
Speaker 7: That's true.
Speaker 3: Gotta taste the flavors, taste the flavors to be like, no,
Speaker 3: we don't need the peanut and this cake now, No, no,
Speaker 3: don't that frosting doesn't go in that cake. No, that
Speaker 3: muslim frosting is not gonna work.
Speaker 2: No sprinkles please.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Wow, what a blessing to one day have the
Speaker 3: like have the ability to like go push play on
Speaker 3: eight years of our lives, bitch, eight years of our
Speaker 3: dating life. Because I'm pretty sure we're talking way too
Speaker 3: honestly about whatever the fuck we were doing. But yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm really grateful for that, to like hear the growth
Speaker 3: in real time. Not that I've ever I have gone
Speaker 3: back really except for that one time we did, like
Speaker 3: the first year or two.
Speaker 2: But yeah, and thank you guys for fucking listening. Sorry
Speaker 2: in advance, if you were really frustrated with us for
Speaker 2: a while, or you know, or you were like riding
Speaker 2: like gabbitch, I feel you. Yeah, it's been a it's
Speaker 2: continued to be a beautiful ride. And one day I
Speaker 2: will go back and listen to all of our episodes,
Speaker 2: hopefully before my child ever does.
Speaker 3: And if you're new here, and maybe you're in your
Speaker 3: you know, late twenties, early twenties, early thirties, and you
Speaker 3: know some of this other shit we're talking, doesn't it
Speaker 3: resonate with you. Just go to the beginning. Just go back,
Speaker 3: just go to.
Speaker 2: The We weren't always you know, engaged in things of
Speaker 2: emotionally mature.
Speaker 3: We weren't. We weren't and like.
Speaker 2: Very immature, very think we were mature. I mean, I'm
Speaker 2: just kidding. I mean there was some emotional immaturity for sure,
Speaker 2: for sure, but at least we were self aware.
Speaker 3: We were self aware, you know, we were like, we're
Speaker 3: being stupid and it's so fun, woo wow, good old days.
Speaker 3: But yeah, if you are just joining us, so you
Speaker 3: started in the middle, I really do highly recommend that
Speaker 3: you go back to the beginning. There are a lot
Speaker 3: of gems there. We went through a lot of shit.
Speaker 3: We and you know, we didn't just show up here
Speaker 3: at good good media looking this good way to go
Speaker 3: through some hoops jump through some fire, date some frogs
Speaker 3: before we got here. Okay, my tits were smaller in
Speaker 3: the beginning, for only like six months. You got those
Speaker 3: tits very early. Look at my old tits. You're gonna
Speaker 3: really have to look.
Speaker 7: Is it terrort time?
Speaker 3: It's terot time.
Speaker 2: Before we do terror, let's just let's just take a moment,
Speaker 2: just reset the energy. Do a few deep breaths. Wherever
Speaker 2: you're at. You're driving, please don't crash your car. Keep
Speaker 2: your eyes open, keep your eyes open, just you know,
Speaker 2: try to take a few breaths.
Speaker 4: In through your nose, out your mouth, Relax your.
Speaker 3: Jaw, am exhale was sound, Do a little moan because
Speaker 3: life is sweet and everything is good. Ah mm hmm.
Speaker 7: Okay, now it's territyed.
Speaker 3: Just a little reset.
Speaker 2: Do you want to pull my dear?
Speaker 3: Sure? Okay, she pulled the tower and I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 3: It looks kind of chaotic. There's people jumping out of
Speaker 3: a tower that's on fire and maybe bleeding water at
Speaker 3: the automn It's okay, I think, so, okay, it's okay.
Speaker 2: The Tower card usually signifies sudden change, upheaval, chaos, revelation,
Speaker 2: awakening when the Tower card appears in a tear reading.
Speaker 2: Expect the unexpected, massive change, upheaval, destruction, and chaos. It
Speaker 2: may be divorced death or a love of a loved one,
Speaker 2: financial failure, health problems, natural disaster, job loss, or an
Speaker 2: event that shakes you to your court, affecting your spirituality, mentalit, mentally,
Speaker 2: and physically. There's no escaping it. Change is here to
Speaker 2: tear things up, create chaos, and destroy everything in its path.
Speaker 3: I know I shouldn't picked this card. You did. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I was like, I shouldn't pick that one, and I
Speaker 3: picked anyway? Do you want to pick another one? Yep? Okay,
Speaker 3: okays for somebody else's driving.
Speaker 2: After Tower experience, you will grow stronger, wiser, and more
Speaker 2: resilient as you developed a new perspective on life you
Speaker 2: did not even know existed. These moments are necessary for
Speaker 2: your spiritual growth and enlightenment, and truth and honesty will
Speaker 2: bring about a positive change, even if the experience, even
Speaker 2: if you experience pain and anxiety throughout the process. Thankfully,
Speaker 2: the Tower doesn't always associate with pain and turmoil. If
Speaker 2: you are a highly aware and in tune with your
Speaker 2: inner guidance system, then this tarot card can indicate a
Speaker 2: spiritual wakening or revelation. You may be able to see
Speaker 2: the cracks forming and take action before the whole structure
Speaker 2: comes tumbling down. You may create a massive transformation before
Speaker 2: you reach the point where change is your only option. Okay,
Speaker 2: with this other card you pulled, my dear, This one
Speaker 2: looks a little eight of swords, which also is Look,
Speaker 2: this is the one where she's able to or like
Speaker 2: she feels like she's in a bind, but she's actually not.
Speaker 2: She just has to turn around.
Speaker 3: What is this nine sorts? Yeah, she's blindfolded, she has
Speaker 3: her hands behind her back, and yeah, I know this one.
Speaker 2: Actually negative thoughts, self imposed restriction, victim mentality. The aid
Speaker 2: of swords reveals that you are trapped and restricted by
Speaker 2: your circumstances. You believe your options are limited with no
Speaker 2: clear path out. You might be in an unfulfilling job,
Speaker 2: an abusive relationship, a significant amount of debt, or a
Speaker 2: situation way out of alignment with your inner being. You
Speaker 2: are now trapped between a rock and a hard place
Speaker 2: with no resolution available. However, take note that the woman
Speaker 2: in the card is not entirely imprisoned by the eight
Speaker 2: swords around her. And if she wanted to escape, she could.
Speaker 2: She merely needs to remove the blindfold and free herself
Speaker 2: from the self imposed bindings that hold her back. The
Speaker 2: aid of swords is often associated with a victim mentality.
Speaker 2: You surrendered your power to an external entity, allowing yourself
Speaker 2: to become trapped and limited in some way. At times,
Speaker 2: the eight of Swords indicates that you are confused about
Speaker 2: whether you should stay or go, particularly if you are
Speaker 2: in a challenging situation. It is not as clear cut
Speaker 2: as you would like it, making the decision very difficult.
Speaker 2: You have one foot in hoping things can work out,
Speaker 2: but your other foot is out the door, ready to
Speaker 2: leave again. This card is asking you to get out
Speaker 2: of your head and drop down into your gut and
Speaker 2: your intuition so you can hear your inner guidance. Your
Speaker 2: thoughts are not serving you right now. Your intuition is
Speaker 2: trust yourself.
Speaker 3: Hmmm, interesting pair that we pulled here. Hope that resonates
Speaker 3: with the collective. Do you have affirmation for us today?
Speaker 7: M You are naughty by nature.
Speaker 3: You're naughty by nature. You are naughty by nature. You
Speaker 3: are naughty by nature.
Speaker 7: You may not be a nurture by nature.
Speaker 3: But you will, you are, you are not by nature.
Speaker 3: We're inviting you to step into your naughtiness. It's today,
Speaker 3: it's Friday, as we're recording, whatever day it is. When
Speaker 3: you listen to this Wednesday, hump Day, Tuesday, titty day,
Speaker 3: whatever day, step into your naughtiness.
Speaker 2: Be naughty by nature, bad me meaning like.
Speaker 3: Sexually not just don't be just naughty. Don't be a bitch,
Speaker 3: nasty bitch like Tanash. I've been a nasty girl.
Speaker 2: God that I took over the internet first, I think
Speaker 2: I've been a nasty girl. Somebody gonna match my you
Speaker 2: know what, she wouldn't be coming up with.
Speaker 3: She got a lot of hits.
Speaker 2: She's like low key that person that one day we're
Speaker 2: gonna go to one of her shows, and I'd be like, God,
Speaker 2: it's like jay Loo. When I went to see fucking
Speaker 2: j Loo. I was not even like a big j
Speaker 2: Loo fan, but I went and saw her in Vegas
Speaker 2: by chance you and I was like this writch has
Speaker 2: so many goddamn hits.
Speaker 3: That came on yeshay in the car right after I
Speaker 3: left parent teacher night and I gave you all my tress.
Speaker 3: Would you come for me and call me banks. Oh,
Speaker 3: but some of those notes that she hits song, But
Speaker 3: that's why I love them, because I can hit everyone,
Speaker 3: and I give you that one. Got this comedy is.
Speaker 2: She hits some really what is that line? It's like
Speaker 2: really bad. She really tries to.
Speaker 3: Go for it. She shouldn't have.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I'm talking. But that's like towards
Speaker 2: the end of the song.
Speaker 3: No, there's a there's a whole Oh my god, she.
Speaker 2: Has a breakdown or breaks it down and dance moves.
Speaker 3: Oh there's that's also.
Speaker 2: It's a not the one that Christina million.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like Christina got paid in that DJ playing my son,
Speaker 3: because turn it up and turn it on, play play.
Speaker 2: She didn't write if you had My love Christina.
Speaker 3: Yeah, probably I don't any of that ship.
Speaker 2: That's true. She probably got.
Speaker 3: Anyway, I was having deep nostalgia, so I was leaving
Speaker 3: sad from the parent teacher night because Luna is going
Speaker 3: to be eleven soon, she's going to be her last
Speaker 3: year in elementary school. And then that same song came
Speaker 3: on and I'm pretty sure it came out when I
Speaker 3: was in sixth grade, and I was just like got
Speaker 3: her to speak to me via j Low Oh my god,
Speaker 3: me like a right back to elementary school.
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 3: Anyway, God, some mom shites going fast. Be present, be present,
Speaker 3: and be naughty by nature.
Speaker 7: Be naughty by nature.
Speaker 3: Thank you for joining us. If you haven't joined our
Speaker 3: newsletter at good Momsbad Choices dot com, follow our personal
Speaker 3: pages and our Instagram Good Mom's Bad Choices, Good Mom's Underscareboard,
Speaker 3: Underscore Bad Choices.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, that's it.
Speaker 3: The Good Vibe re treat to be about to release
Speaker 3: our twenty twenty six retreats and we are going places. Okay,
Speaker 3: we going places, places and spaces and you can follow
Speaker 3: me at Mila underscore map with two p's.
Speaker 2: Are you going to change that?
Speaker 3: Soon?
Speaker 2: Is going to feel like underscore?
Speaker 3: Roy?
Speaker 2: What are you gonna do that?
Speaker 3: I'm gonna hyphenate.
Speaker 2: Mila Underscore Map Roy.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I'm changing my Instagram bitch, Oh,
Speaker 3: you can keep it the same. I did never I
Speaker 3: think so I didn't think about my Instagram. I think
Speaker 3: about my the.
Speaker 2: Things you haven't thought about. Wife, got to think about
Speaker 2: these things my on my Amazon packages, all these cons here?
Speaker 3: Are you like? What are we doing with Instagram?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 3: I already had a deep conversation with my husband that
Speaker 3: I'm a famous author, so I can't really do too
Speaker 3: much with that. I can't change my full name. It's
Speaker 3: my it's my stage name, it's my author name, Jamila
Speaker 3: mapp But I could. I didn't put it.
Speaker 2: You could put Jamiala mapproy.
Speaker 3: I offered him the roy. I don't know if I
Speaker 3: will take that on as an author in my like
Speaker 3: future endeavor books.
Speaker 2: But the good thing he's only written one book, so
Speaker 2: there's still there's still it's a best seller.
Speaker 3: So it's really it's it's it's basically it could be
Speaker 3: basically ten. So the point of the matter is I'm
Speaker 3: already semi famous with Mela map so I could just
Speaker 3: having a hard time. That's the wife thing, aren't you.
Speaker 3: I don't think this. I don't think this is This
Speaker 3: is the part I'm having a hard time with. This
Speaker 3: is where I'm really clear actually following Amazon, Mela Mapparo.
Speaker 3: I've been putting roy on my last name on my
Speaker 3: packages for a long time on Instagram. I don't know
Speaker 3: that seems a little ser Okay, okay, okay, already have
Speaker 3: barely have a couple.
Speaker 2: Anyway, follow her for now at Nila Underscore map.
Speaker 3: You can also followed follow Huccie mom.
Speaker 2: And dad, Hoochie mom and Daed. You can follow me
Speaker 2: at Watch Erica and yeah, be well, take care of
Speaker 2: yourself and we love you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm living so good? Can't you tell?
Speaker 5: I went through a drought. That's until I found out. Well,
Speaker 5: madem have been known art. I used to be broken tail,
Speaker 5: now got the blues. Dancer might Beyonce Jisell throat shot
Speaker 5: with pop and his cow wearing our voices. Patriarchy kept
Speaker 5: it in the box to exploit its women put the
Speaker 5: p and powers.
Speaker 3: So what's pointing that they want me to be good?
Speaker 3: So I made bad choices.
Speaker 5: Bad mom not a bad mom, but a bad mom.
Speaker 5: Gitter's in on, put cannabis.
Speaker 3: In her bath.
Speaker 5: Bomb walked in bosses cap and I blew his cat
Speaker 5: boss dog. Now I'm immune to the cat called Herbie
Speaker 5: in the waisted straight to it like a dollar.
Speaker 3: Sign, mother, rent the lover when too what?
Speaker 5: It's like a water sign where you're rent the winter
Speaker 5: essential will when the summertime?
Speaker 3: I do what doll ain't no one that needs to
Speaker 3: run it by