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Speaker 1: Once upon a time there was a good old traditional housewife.

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Speaker 1: She couldn't She cleaned and cared for her children and

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Speaker 1: the man of the house, and of course she didn't

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Speaker 1: talk back. She was both obedient and soft by nature.

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Speaker 1: She was a good woman who always made good choices.

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Speaker 2: We're good mom's bad choices.

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Speaker 3: Who's single mom who said fuck the patriarchy? Shared all

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Speaker 3: their bad choices and sound out they were so bad.

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Speaker 3: After all, we're experts, overshares and your new besties.

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Speaker 2: Sit back and enjoy the ride.

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Speaker 3: I can do it. Welcome back to good Mom's bad Choices.

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Speaker 3: I'm America, and I'm Nila, your little titty committee leader,

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Speaker 3: and I'm here to tell you don't need big titties

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Speaker 3: to thrive. You can have sch medium or extra larger petite,

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Speaker 3: which you're like mine a small bee. Don't you dare

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Speaker 3: say triple A because they're not. And you can thrive

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Speaker 3: with these big old titties anywhere in a bathing suit

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Speaker 3: in the snow at Disneyland and your while riding. One

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Speaker 3: of the things I used to have problems accepting is

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Speaker 3: when I was on top and I go like this,

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Speaker 3: it kind of looks like utters like a cat, so

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Speaker 3: I don't really remind myself not to do that, but

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Speaker 3: not anymore. Oh like you has always got a art

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Speaker 3: your back. Well, you just can't do this, okay, because

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Speaker 3: I don't look good like that. But that's not the point.

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Speaker 3: I love them and always I don't think.

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Speaker 2: I think all the men, all the men that have

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Speaker 2: seen your titties in that position, have not had that thought.

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Speaker 2: I think women generally are were in our heads. We're

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Speaker 2: not busy because your pussy's wrapped around their peace and

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Speaker 2: thinking about, oh my god, her tits look like utters.

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Speaker 3: You just gotta squeeze your life away and then they

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Speaker 3: won't remember shit. Yep, exactly.

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Speaker 2: Just key distract them, squeeze the life out of their

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Speaker 2: deck stores.

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Speaker 3: Wherever you're at right now, if you're listening to this

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Speaker 3: and your headphones at work or in the car, let's

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Speaker 3: just take a collective good mom's squeeze of the person.

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Speaker 3: Squeeze gay squeeze, squeeze, geeze, squeez squeeze, squeze, squeeze, squeeze

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Speaker 3: an exhil, don't say good moms never did anything for you. Yes,

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Speaker 3: you're welcome, husband and boyfriend and digmatized nigga that you

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Speaker 3: found last week.

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Speaker 2: I had someone in my DM's yesterday asking about how

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Speaker 2: big my boobs were because she's getting a breast reduction

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Speaker 2: and she was curious what size I had, and she

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Speaker 2: has a J and I was like, god, damn, I.

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Speaker 3: Wasn't really a J though, because Victoria be lying.

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Speaker 2: I got to ae F.

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Speaker 3: But they but that's not an F, so they'd be

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Speaker 3: lying like Victoria's secret. No, but that was no.

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Speaker 2: I was an F like not Victoria's secret. Not this

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Speaker 2: when I had When I got frien, I was and

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Speaker 2: I was breastfeeding, my tits were added.

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Speaker 3: Really, yeah, I do want to need to see footage? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I show you actually when if you see my tits

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Speaker 3: when I was breastfeeding, that's actually the book. That's actually

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Speaker 3: the picture I'm going to present the doctor because they

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Speaker 3: looked great and they were probably like a large seat.

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Speaker 3: In fact, I'm going to scroll through my photos just

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Speaker 3: so I can insert it here because it's very important

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Speaker 3: to me. It's actually my best boob life is when

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Speaker 3: I was breastfeeding. Unfortunately, there's milk coming out, so it

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Speaker 3: wasn't like thriving like I would want it to if

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Speaker 3: they were real, fake, fake, real, but yeah, god, that's

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Speaker 3: like my one motivation to get pregnant again. Like, hey, Landa,

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Speaker 3: look at these You never seen this before.

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Speaker 4: I know.

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Speaker 2: But the only thing about it is when they're that size,

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Speaker 2: like they're being used so much. Yeah, actually it's like

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Speaker 2: get the fuck away. It's like you're in like the

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Speaker 2: best hit, got the best hits of your life, and

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Speaker 2: they're doing neckless doing that.

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Speaker 3: I mean they're I mean they're doing they're doing that

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Speaker 3: fun for you. Really, that's true. And have you ever

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Speaker 3: when you're breastfeeding, were you ever like riding and then

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Speaker 3: like you're also like full and then they start to

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Speaker 3: go like like you could squirt. I didn't. I didn't

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Speaker 3: breastfeed long enough for that to happen. They would like

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Speaker 3: simultaneously just be especially in the shower.

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Speaker 2: I don't think I was having sex too. I was like,

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Speaker 2: get the fun. I literally was. That was pretty much

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Speaker 2: my whole pregnancy up until maybe one year after I

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Speaker 2: had Iri.

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Speaker 3: I didn't really I didn't. I wasn't really second.

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Speaker 2: I don't even remember. I actually I don't remember any

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Speaker 2: I don't really don't remember. I actually can't even remember.

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Speaker 2: There's like a big part of I think the early

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Speaker 2: days of motherhood that I literally don't have a don't

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Speaker 2: have recklee. Maybe it'll come back later. Maybe if I

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Speaker 2: do AMDR.

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Speaker 3: Let me tell you why. Why Because it was traumatized.

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Speaker 3: I know, because you were traumat I know that's why

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Speaker 3: I don't remember either.

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Speaker 2: Maybe I could do AMDR and then it'll come back.

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Speaker 2: You don't want to, I mean, there's gotta be there's

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Speaker 2: some good ship that happened, for sure.

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Speaker 3: I think I blocked out, like all of my pregnancy.

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Speaker 3: I can't remember, like really shit except I think I

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Speaker 3: found my baby daddy and bumble and amongst other things.

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Speaker 2: I remember my pregnancy. It's after the pregnancy that I

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Speaker 2: don't remember anything.

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Speaker 3: I remember after a little bit, but like that full

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Speaker 3: two years, like the pregnancy in that first year were

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Speaker 3: a little bit like a blur because I was probably

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Speaker 3: like very miserable and said.

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Speaker 2: There's a lot going on. You're literally walking into like

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Speaker 2: a rite of passage that no one can there's nothing

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Speaker 2: that can prepare you.

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Speaker 3: Literally, I don't care.

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Speaker 2: You've got mom, friends, lots of sisters, siblings, whatever the

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Speaker 2: fuck you thought you knew, you don't until you go

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Speaker 2: through this. Because your hormones also you're like literally not

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Speaker 2: in control anymore. You're out of control your bache, you're crazy.

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Speaker 3: You're basically like a host takes over your body. It's

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Speaker 3: like a zombie apocalypse because like your hormones take over.

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Speaker 3: It's not even you anymore. Good luck.

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Speaker 2: So for those that are thinking about having a baby, congratulation.

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Speaker 3: It's actually truly like a zombie because the baby, you

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Speaker 3: are a host. You're like your hormones stake over your personality.

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Speaker 3: The baby takes over your actual nutrients in your body,

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Speaker 3: and you like go elsewhere that we don't really know

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Speaker 3: yet where you go. But maybe this.

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Speaker 2: Maybe we're like stuck in another dimension, like.

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Speaker 3: We're like resting. Maybe we're resting to rest because we

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Speaker 3: know it's like we want to have to stay up

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Speaker 3: along a lot of hours. Do you hear that this

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Speaker 3: is your only way to rest. You won't remember and

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Speaker 3: you won't feel rested at all, But it'll be great.

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Speaker 3: Maybe in our second pregnancies it will be different and

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Speaker 3: we'll have a memory.

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Speaker 2: Well, because we're more self aware now, but also we forgot.

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Speaker 3: I'm kind of scared because I know more, and because

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Speaker 3: I know more, you know more.

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Speaker 2: But also we forgot.

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Speaker 3: I forgot, But then, like I know so much information.

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Speaker 2: Our bodies are different. What if we have a totally

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Speaker 2: different reaction our bodies like some other wild shit.

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Speaker 3: That's my biggest fear. It's ten years later, Like I'm

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Speaker 3: primarily concerned about chin hair growth.

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Speaker 2: I already have that problem.

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Speaker 3: I do.

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Speaker 2: That's why I'm already have that problem with Actually I

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Speaker 2: forgot to pluck that chin hair this morning that I

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Speaker 2: saw on the.

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Speaker 3: Like triples, and then I'll die. Maybe, So that's not.

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Speaker 2: Gonna die die. I guess to another dimension.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna get electrolysis.

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Speaker 2: I got electrons.

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Speaker 3: Did it work? Though?

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Speaker 2: I got electrolysis while I was pregnant. I don't know

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Speaker 2: if I was supposed to do that, but I did it.

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Speaker 2: Not well, it worked, yeah, because I was getting I

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Speaker 2: told you I grew a beard on my neck, a

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Speaker 2: little patch, a little circa may right here, like between

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Speaker 2: ten and fifteen. Really it was substantial, really.

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Speaker 3: Like enough that I was like, were you visibly pregnant?

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Speaker 3: Did the lady know you're pregnant?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Oh okay, oh okay, I mean I respine, Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: she's fine.

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Speaker 2: I was supposed to shave it.

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Speaker 3: No, no, no, I don't know what you're suppsed to do.

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Speaker 3: I would do the same thing. I would risk it all.

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Speaker 2: I mean, we've done it. People have done worse things.

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Speaker 2: People smoke crack.

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Speaker 3: I just got electrolysis. I fun fact, fun bag.

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Speaker 2: If we're really gonna like way the go on the

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Speaker 2: spectrum of irresponsible good mom, good mom's bad choices, I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna lean more towards the good mom.

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Speaker 3: I once watch the documentary about the crack era, and

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Speaker 3: what I collected from the whole thing was scientists were

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Speaker 3: really surprised that after the crack epidemic that a lot

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Speaker 3: of the babies that were products of like crack moms,

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Speaker 3: they were affected, but not as affected as they thought

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Speaker 3: they were going to be. So if you're crack, but

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Speaker 3: you're fine, razzle dazzle all extra sprinkle like like quite

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Speaker 3: literally and it might be genius, You're welcome. And in

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Speaker 3: the sixties they were telling women to drink martinis and

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Speaker 3: smoke cigarettes while they were pregnant. So the point is

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Speaker 3: we don't really know electrolysis is problem.

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Speaker 2: A lot of people from the sixties are fucked up.

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Speaker 3: It's not because they are drinking.

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Speaker 2: All the people that are in power now around that time.

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Speaker 3: Because he's fifties. Those guys are a little it's because

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Speaker 3: their moms didn't hug them. That's the real issue. It's

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Speaker 3: not the martinis and the hug marbles, the hugs. The hugs.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta hug your kids important.

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Speaker 3: Well, I'm glad that sorry, we just will. I'm glad

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Speaker 3: that we we've recovered that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and that we've we got hugs and we're giving

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Speaker 2: our children hugs. And then I did not smoke crack

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Speaker 2: while I was pregnant.

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Speaker 3: I did not electrolysis, which was I lady did some

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Speaker 3: other things before I knew I was pregnant. It wasn't

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Speaker 3: smoking crack, though, but there was some other things that

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Speaker 3: Luda's fine. She was great. She's wonderful, intelligent, funny. The

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Speaker 3: other things might have made gave her a sense of humor.

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Speaker 3: We makes. It gives you the giggles. It will give

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Speaker 3: your baby the giggles too. Oh God, don't endorse anything

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Speaker 3: that we say, because we are not all for entertainment purposes.

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Speaker 3: I didn't do any of these things. We were twenty six.

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Speaker 3: What we're supposed to do, who knows?

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Speaker 2: Like we're children, We were children having children.

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Speaker 3: You know, you couldn't tell me I wasn't grown though.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, not at all.

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Speaker 3: It's like, I'm a grown woman. I am twenty six

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Speaker 3: years old, mom, and I'm gonna have this baby, you know.

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Speaker 2: I was sitting with my mom yesterday and I was

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Speaker 2: telling her, like, some some stuff that's going on with

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Speaker 2: my little sister who's nineteen.

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Speaker 3: Did you ever respond to that text message?

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Speaker 2: I did after I calmed down, and it went, well,

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Speaker 2: I'm glad that I was able to be a big sister.

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Speaker 3: Not a bitch. That's good for you, because I was thinking, wow, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: It took me an hour but and a few rewrites

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Speaker 2: of the text message. But I was telling my mom

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Speaker 2: about what was happening, and when I left her, I

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Speaker 2: was thinking because I was like, she's a child, like

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Speaker 2: she's a child, and my Mom's like, well, she's not

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Speaker 2: really a child, like she's nineteen, she's a teenager. And

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Speaker 2: then I was thinking about my mom listening to her

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Speaker 2: daughter tell her this, and I'm obviously I'm not nineteen,

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Speaker 2: but I'm still a child in my mom's eyes, and

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Speaker 2: just like her thinking.

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Speaker 3: The crazy part is will always be children.

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Speaker 5: I know.

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Speaker 2: And then I was but I was just thinking about

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Speaker 2: I retelling me this, and I was just like, Wow,

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Speaker 2: it just keeps going.

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Speaker 3: Huh.

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Speaker 2: I just like we always think we're grown. We just

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Speaker 2: always think we're grown.

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Speaker 3: And we're not. Let's just accept the fact that we'll

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Speaker 3: never be grown, We'll never be fully grown, We're always

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Speaker 3: we're always growing. I talked to my mom this morning,

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Speaker 3: and we literally speak different languages. I don't know if

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Speaker 3: my communication language is just off from the world, but

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Speaker 3: like we're like having the same conversation but like clashing

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Speaker 3: it not. And I'm like agreeing, but we're still arguing,

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Speaker 3: and I'm like, what the fuck is happening right now?

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Speaker 3: She's like, I listened to your episode for the one

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Speaker 3: episode for the first time ever. I was like, oh really, really,

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Speaker 3: which one was the Moms Heal the World? Oh? God,

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Speaker 3: of course, okay, And I was like, I don't think

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Speaker 3: that was too bad, but yeah, my mom has not

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Speaker 3: listened to my entire podcast in seven and a half years,

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Speaker 3: nor has she read my book. And then she told

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Speaker 3: me she to end to dive into the book this weekend.

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Speaker 3: She's like, what she been saying about me over yet?

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Speaker 2: Now that I did you say anything? Did you say

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Speaker 2: anything on the episode about her.

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Speaker 3: No, I don't. I mean I think I said some things,

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Speaker 3: but I don't think. I think I actually said she's

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Speaker 3: been doing a lot better, and yeah you did. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: So that's probably why she's like, let me read the

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Speaker 3: book now. But today she was like, she'd asked me

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Speaker 3: to take her to her colonoscopy and I said yes,

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Speaker 3: and then I was like, what time is it, Like

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Speaker 3: where is it at and she's like, yeah, well if

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Speaker 3: you take me, yeah, well you need to remember, and

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Speaker 3: I'm like, I, okay, yes, I wrote it down. It's

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Speaker 3: in my calendar. Okay. Yes. She's like, why are you

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Speaker 3: talking to me like that. I was like, because I

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Speaker 3: feel like I keep saying okay, yes, I'm doing it,

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Speaker 3: and there's still She's like, I just feel like I

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Speaker 3: was just like I just had to let it go.

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Speaker 3: And I was just like, uh huh, yeah, I took

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Speaker 3: Lenda to school today.

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Speaker 2: Moms, mom's moms and moms moms. We just want our point,

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Speaker 2: We need to get our point out. We need to

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Speaker 2: make sure that you know all the details. Twelve times

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Speaker 2: we're all because we're still in mom mode. And also

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Speaker 2: maybe she's nervous too, so she's just like saying stuff

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Speaker 2: to say stuff and wants you to be in the

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Speaker 2: know of everything that's going on because this is a

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Speaker 2: medical procedure.

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Speaker 3: Then she's like, I could just drive myself home. I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I think the point is that I drive you home.

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Speaker 3: She's like, you just have to show up and tell

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Speaker 3: them that you're taking me home. I've done it before.

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Speaker 3: I was like, over, the point is that, That's what

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Speaker 3: I said? Why would I go all the way there

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Speaker 3: to do that? I said, you wait.

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Speaker 2: Thirty minutes, go get a couple of coffee and come

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Speaker 2: bring your drug ass home.

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Speaker 3: That's what I said. I said, just uber and I'll

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Speaker 3: be there to pick you up. Well, yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I know anyway, moms never get less stressful or frustra.

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Speaker 2: It's because she wanted you to take her and the

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Speaker 2: fact that she had to uber there was a disruption

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Speaker 2: and the flow of how she envisioned it going. Because

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Speaker 2: that's also a mom thing too, like if it's not

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Speaker 2: going exactly how they envisioned it going.

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Speaker 3: Apparently she envisioned it me just showing up and saying

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Speaker 3: hi and leaving and getting back in my own car

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Speaker 3: and letting her drive off, fucking off amnesia or whatever

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Speaker 3: the fuck. I don't fucking know what she envisioned.

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Speaker 2: Not amnesia, amnesia, all theses fetitious. Yeah, you know, like

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Speaker 2: much like we said on last week's episode, you know,

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Speaker 2: mothers us our mothers.

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Speaker 3: We're just girls. We're just the girls, you know. And

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Speaker 3: sometimes you don't get the girl that you would necessarily

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Speaker 3: like hang out with. Yeah you in fact, sometimes you

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Speaker 3: get the girl you wouldn't hang out. So then you

305
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Speaker 3: have to really figure it out. I'm really trying to, like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: let's figure this out, to figure out this communications.

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Speaker 2: So you're in this lifelong relationship with someone, so there's

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Speaker 2: gonna be a lot of phases in which, like you

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Speaker 2: guys are not on the same page in your personalities.

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Speaker 2: And then like later on and lift, I just like

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Speaker 2: see how like my relationship with my mom has evolved

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Speaker 2: over the years, and how like we had so much

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Speaker 2: turmoil at one point in my life, and then like

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Speaker 2: how motherhood birthed us into another version of our relationship

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Speaker 2: and our personalities and her life, her life changing as

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Speaker 2: she's aging, you know what I mean, And like now

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Speaker 2: we're in a different season of our relationship where like

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Speaker 2: I do appreciate my mom more than I did before.

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Speaker 2: I also see like the girl in her, you know.

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Speaker 2: So it's like it's just never ending. The longest relationship ever.

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Speaker 2: It's a fucking longest relationship ever. It's longer than the

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Speaker 2: one you'll have with your kid. Maybe maybe around the

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Speaker 2: same time actually, but like because she's no, maybe it's

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Speaker 2: longer than you'll have with your kid, right, yeah, she's right,

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Speaker 2: because I don't know, I'm just thinking, like how long

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Speaker 2: how I don't know, it turns on when you have

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Speaker 2: your kid, if you're a teen mom or something, but

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Speaker 2: it's it's the longest relationship and it's your first relationship,

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Speaker 2: and so it's like, I don't know, I think the

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Speaker 2: we the hope is that you're like always in in

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Speaker 2: this symbiotic relationship with your mother. But that's just not

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Speaker 2: the fucking truth. And that's just not the that's not

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00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:09,320
Speaker 2: the reality of relationships in general, whether that's with your

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Speaker 2: partner that you're in love with, whether that's your child,

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Speaker 2: whether that's your mother, it's just not you.

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Speaker 3: Know, relationships might just very well just like be the

337
00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:27,560
Speaker 3: obstacle that like relationships are the obstacle that will eventually

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00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:32,040
Speaker 3: catapult you constantly to the next level because you're never

339
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:35,920
Speaker 3: gonna be triggered unless you are in relation with other humans,

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Speaker 3: because you can't really be triggered by yourself. I mean

341
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:42,560
Speaker 3: you can, but you're gonna likely oh so much you can, yeah, so,

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Speaker 3: And like even if you're a loner, if you isolate,

343
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Speaker 3: you're gonna be triggered by the bitch at the restaurant

344
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:49,200
Speaker 3: or the motherfucker at the gas station, because God's gonna

345
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,680
Speaker 3: be like, oh, bitch, you think you got it away

346
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Speaker 3: from this. No, all close relationships, especially I'm realizing now,

347
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Speaker 3: like in a relationship where I live with my partner,

348
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Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, this is the like this is the

349
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:05,400
Speaker 3: outside of my parents and like roommates that I've had.

350
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Speaker 3: This is the only motherfucker that I have to live

351
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Speaker 3: this closely with. And it's like it's it brings up

352
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:13,920
Speaker 3: a lot of shit because we haven't I haven't been

353
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Speaker 3: lived in the house with someone in so long since childhood,

354
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Speaker 3: and now I'm here as an adult and I'm like,

355
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,680
Speaker 3: you're getting out of my nerves and I there's nowhere

356
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,680
Speaker 3: to go. I have to deal with it. So I

357
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:30,480
Speaker 3: realized that, like, yeah, relationships are literally like God's hoops

358
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,880
Speaker 3: that you have to jump through in life so that

359
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Speaker 3: you can get to the next dimension hopefully.

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Speaker 2: Maybe Yeah, they're mirrors for sure. I like I've been

361
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,560
Speaker 2: thinking about like how long I've lived alone by myself,

362
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Speaker 2: which has been over seven years. And you know, me

363
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:53,440
Speaker 2: and shakem have you know, talked about moving in together

364
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,040
Speaker 2: on and off like throughout our relationship.

365
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Speaker 3: Early on, very.

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Speaker 2: Early, like I had this like extreme want for him

367
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Speaker 2: to move We're on mushrooms and I was like, you

368
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,560
Speaker 2: need to move in. I know, I I know, I

369
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:05,359
Speaker 2: know you're not talking.

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00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,320
Speaker 3: I know it. And he was like, you know, of course.

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Speaker 2: He's a reasonable smart person in relationship. But but lately

372
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:18,119
Speaker 2: I've been like just thinking about like what that dynamic

373
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,679
Speaker 2: it like would feel like for me to not be

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00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:25,520
Speaker 2: able to like escape and and like but like knowing

375
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:29,960
Speaker 2: that at some point like that's the goal, that's the goal,

376
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:33,000
Speaker 2: you know, but like also feeling my like fear and

377
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,560
Speaker 2: like sometimes it's not present at all, and I'm like, yeah,

378
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,399
Speaker 2: let's do it, fuck it, and other times I'm like,

379
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:42,280
Speaker 2: oh my god, like what And so I was I

380
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:43,680
Speaker 2: was thinking about you, and I was just thinking about

381
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,480
Speaker 2: like all of us, all of our friends that have

382
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,320
Speaker 2: been in relationships where like they're living with their partners

383
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Speaker 2: or like people are in seasons of separation and divorces,

384
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Speaker 2: and like I'm feeling what that feels like too, like

385
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,320
Speaker 2: the emptiness of what that feels and like like the

386
00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:58,440
Speaker 2: scariness of what that feels like. And then you graduate

387
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,560
Speaker 2: into like the empowerment in that place and just just

388
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:05,720
Speaker 2: how that is such an important decision, both sides of it,

389
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:11,679
Speaker 2: and like how living with someone is like I don't know,

390
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,120
Speaker 2: it's like an initiation, right.

391
00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:18,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's an initiation. And also like there's a mourning.

392
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:22,920
Speaker 3: Like Orlando just recently went back to like the workforce,

393
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:27,520
Speaker 3: like the real workforce, and I've been like, you know,

394
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:31,359
Speaker 3: home alone more and like I'm like, oh yeah, like

395
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:35,360
Speaker 3: this is what it feels like to be alone and like, oh, like, oh,

396
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:37,879
Speaker 3: like getting back into that groove and there's a morning

397
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,760
Speaker 3: of that. Like there was a time where when Luna

398
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,880
Speaker 3: would leave, I'd just be alone, you know what I mean.

399
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:44,760
Speaker 3: And then there was a time where and prior to that,

400
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,680
Speaker 3: I was with her dad and that was fucking miserable,

401
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,359
Speaker 3: and you know, like just and then it was just

402
00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:50,439
Speaker 3: me and Luna, and like there's always going to be

403
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:54,080
Speaker 3: like a mourning of what used to be, because even

404
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:55,440
Speaker 3: if it right now, Like I know a lot of

405
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,440
Speaker 3: times people feel alone and they're like, I really want

406
00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:00,200
Speaker 3: a partner to like to support, and that's great too,

407
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,239
Speaker 3: but then there's times when you're in it and you're like,

408
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:04,960
Speaker 3: I just want to be around my own motherfucking energy,

409
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:10,000
Speaker 3: and so there's fear around it. But yeah, like luckily

410
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:15,280
Speaker 3: for me, Orlando just kind of squeezed his way into

411
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:19,119
Speaker 3: my house, into my state, my city, and my house

412
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,199
Speaker 3: without like I approved, but not really, but that's kind

413
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,440
Speaker 3: of what I needed because I probably wasn't gonna be like, yes,

414
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,800
Speaker 3: it's like move in together. He just left a bag

415
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,280
Speaker 3: and then said I'm next time I come, I'm bringing

416
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,679
Speaker 3: the rest of my stuff, and I said, okay. But

417
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:39,200
Speaker 3: I don't think that we really sit in these decisions

418
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,600
Speaker 3: that we make, especially as women, because women are just

419
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,280
Speaker 3: like hand fed this tale that you're supposed to get

420
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,360
Speaker 3: married and have babies and move in together and everything's

421
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:48,400
Speaker 3: going to be happy and beautiful, and like, I think

422
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,320
Speaker 3: men are actually more like aware because they are not

423
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,719
Speaker 3: given that same like protocol and called like normalcy. They

424
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:58,080
Speaker 3: can be players and have a bachelor pad forever. Whereas women,

425
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 3: it's like even when we're all we're like, I want

426
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,919
Speaker 3: a partner and I want a husband, you know, like,

427
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 3: and I feel that it's been a process and I

428
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 3: love it. I love I love being in partnership, and

429
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,640
Speaker 3: I love like Orlando, and we have a really fun

430
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,080
Speaker 3: household because we have fun together and we joke and

431
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:19,440
Speaker 3: we play and you know, but sometimes it gets real.

432
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,840
Speaker 3: It's like you already have a responsibility of caring for

433
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 3: your child, and then another human comes in and then

434
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:28,800
Speaker 3: like even right now, like I as he's gone back

435
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,320
Speaker 3: to the work force, I feel like an immense amount

436
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:37,000
Speaker 3: of pressure to perform for what like dinner cleaning?

437
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,680
Speaker 2: Why you have you're you're in the workforce too.

438
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:40,520
Speaker 3: I don't know.

439
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:49,080
Speaker 6: The patriarchy, it's who's patriarching you though You're like you're

440
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,800
Speaker 6: you're you're feeling like you're falling back into like having

441
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,879
Speaker 6: this Is it because you want to do it or

442
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 6: maybe it's something that you actually like and want.

443
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,320
Speaker 2: To do because you did have big dreams of being

444
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,879
Speaker 2: a housewife at one point in your life, so that

445
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,160
Speaker 2: that feeling obviously exists within you.

446
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I just want to win you want

447
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,639
Speaker 3: to win what I don't know the best, like I

448
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,879
Speaker 3: could be the best wife, yeah, yeah, yeah, but then

449
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,359
Speaker 3: I want that's where that feeling came from. Back now,

450
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:16,920
Speaker 3: I don't yeah, I think so. And like even now,

451
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 3: no one said any of these things to me. In fact,

452
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,040
Speaker 3: Orlando was like fucking with me, joking the other day

453
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:22,480
Speaker 3: about like you don't know how to be a wife,

454
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 3: and I got super offended and I was like that

455
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:27,080
Speaker 3: was very rude. And then I stayed up late and

456
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,639
Speaker 3: prepare lunch for the next day for five am. And

457
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:33,159
Speaker 3: then you know, there's just like these like I don't know,

458
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 3: my mind switches like, oh well, he's bringing home bacon now,

459
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,199
Speaker 3: so I gotta cook it and I gotta clean and

460
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,359
Speaker 3: I got to like and even as a child, I

461
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:43,879
Speaker 3: think it also stems from like I would sit around

462
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 3: all day until I knew my parents were coming home,

463
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,439
Speaker 3: and then in the last like twenty minutes of their return,

464
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,399
Speaker 3: I would just clean up the whole house because that

465
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 3: was what I was. I was responsible for like a

466
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 3: lot of responsibilities as a young woman. And like I

467
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:58,520
Speaker 3: see that come up in me now, like if someone

468
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,320
Speaker 3: leaves and comes back, I think I'm so to clean

469
00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:05,720
Speaker 3: the whole house. But I just I feel like I

470
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,880
Speaker 3: don't know, I can kind of see where men get

471
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,639
Speaker 3: it from. Like before, when I was feeling like more

472
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 3: of the how do you say, the head of household

473
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 3: that I had more leverage.

474
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 2: To kind of like to be like I don't want

475
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 2: to clean it.

476
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,320
Speaker 3: Yeah whatever, I'm like, I don't want to need to cook.

477
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:25,320
Speaker 3: And now I'm like.

478
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:29,200
Speaker 2: Well, now you're called to be an equals in ways.

479
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 3: She doesn't like that. I was like, god, do I

480
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:37,159
Speaker 3: kind of like being the boss of everything and everybody?

481
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:42,360
Speaker 3: I do a little bit, but shut up, Orlando. Now

482
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 3: I have to, yeah, find a balance in like all

483
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,199
Speaker 3: the things like not trying to overdo so much but

484
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:52,200
Speaker 3: also trying for somebody else.

485
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:54,919
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, this is what relationships are about. It's

486
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 2: about like he's this new dynamic is asking for you

487
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,199
Speaker 2: to expand in some way because you can't run from

488
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 2: it because this person lives with you now and you

489
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:06,359
Speaker 2: guys are engaged in building a life together and b like,

490
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,960
Speaker 2: this is how he's shown up for you, like over

491
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 2: these last you know what, however, long then you know

492
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,680
Speaker 2: this dynamic, this other id dynamic existed and he did

493
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:18,440
Speaker 2: he has I've seen it, and now that you know,

494
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:22,199
Speaker 2: there's like this new element coming in where he's you know,

495
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:26,879
Speaker 2: in the workforce, Like, yeah, there's like a balance and

496
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,720
Speaker 2: that's what you don't like. Okay, I got it. You

497
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,880
Speaker 2: should see you most and that's she's like, and shut

498
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:32,440
Speaker 2: the fuck up.

499
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:35,960
Speaker 3: And I also feel like the patriarchy coming out of

500
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 3: his purse ever since you got a job. I just

501
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,000
Speaker 3: think it just like something switches in men. And then

502
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:45,719
Speaker 3: he's like, he got my shoes, bitch. He didn't say that,

503
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:50,400
Speaker 3: but in my mind, that's what he's saying. And then

504
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 3: I'm like, I gotta go to the gym. I gotta

505
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,440
Speaker 3: get my butt right. And then I'm like, I gotta

506
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,320
Speaker 3: cook dinner too, and I gotta clean it up and

507
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,959
Speaker 3: I gotta forget the child. What the fuck? And then

508
00:23:57,960 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my god, is this like single motherhead again?

509
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 3: It is? Damn Yeah, it's kind of intense, but as

510
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,399
Speaker 3: you can see, I'm working through it with ease.

511
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,440
Speaker 2: What were you like as a like what we like

512
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 2: in other dynamics when you lived with men where you

513
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 2: wasn't because you were younger, so it was different. Do

514
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,199
Speaker 2: you guys like, did you guys have like that my

515
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:23,240
Speaker 2: baby daddy because I'm thinking about myself, and I was like,

516
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:26,720
Speaker 2: did I like step into like that housewife mode ever

517
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 2: even in my last long ass relationship, And I'm.

518
00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:34,040
Speaker 3: Gonna say no, My my my baby daddy didn't really

519
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:38,359
Speaker 3: step into like the provider role at all. So I

520
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:41,880
Speaker 3: didn't really feel the pressure. I didn't feel supported that much.

521
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,160
Speaker 3: Like in some ways, yes, but I really viewed him

522
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 3: and and I realize this now because God, bless his heart.

523
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 3: You know, we knew each other for so long, and

524
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,440
Speaker 3: like as high school sweethearts, I feel like I got

525
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:56,479
Speaker 3: like maybe the worst of him. I ate because we

526
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 3: were young, but b because I knew him so well,

527
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,199
Speaker 3: Like I was thinking that, like is he ever going

528
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 3: to find someone? Like is he gonna move on and

529
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 3: like have someone? And I was like maybe, because that

530
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:10,200
Speaker 3: person will never know him as much as I know him.

531
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 3: And will I mean never, I don't know, but like

532
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 3: or knew him or like or knew him, like he

533
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 3: was so comfortable with me that he would literally show

534
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:20,240
Speaker 3: his ass like there was no you know, like when

535
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 3: you get to know someone, you're like presenting the best

536
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 3: parts of yourself. And I kind of feel bad like

537
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 3: he he felt like he could wile out in the

538
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 3: most extreme ways because we were so close. We were

539
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:31,840
Speaker 3: literally there was times I felt like we were like

540
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 3: siblings close, like I knew him. I've known him for

541
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:37,680
Speaker 3: like twenty five years at this point, So there is that.

542
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:39,920
Speaker 3: But I didn't feel like he showed up in that way.

543
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 3: So there wasn't like a huge need for me to

544
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,479
Speaker 3: show up that way. And I still did. But I

545
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,280
Speaker 3: feel like in this relationship, like you said, Orlando has

546
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 3: supported me and us and our Luna and like a major,

547
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 3: major ways. That's very clear and obvious. And so now

548
00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 3: they're like the pressure's on. It's like, oh bitch, now

549
00:25:56,240 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 3: it's your turn. Can you do it? And I'm like, ooh, well,

550
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 3: what what parts of it do you actually enjoy?

551
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:06,880
Speaker 2: Like maybe just you don't have to be good at everything,

552
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 2: Like maybe like what part of being in sort of

553
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:14,400
Speaker 2: any sort of service or balance in that dynamic to Orlando,

554
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 2: do you enjoy Like do you like cooking? Second dick, Okay,

555
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,879
Speaker 2: there's that. I do, like you were doing that anyway though.

556
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like cooking. I do like cooking. I don't

557
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 3: like cleaning that much. And I feel like I'm like, obviously,

558
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:32,360
Speaker 3: because if you live in a house with anyone else,

559
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 3: you're always cleaning. But soon I'm making a cleaner.

560
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,400
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, yeah, so you just need to

561
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 2: get a house keeper. You're gonna call the housekeeper in.

562
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 2: But maybe and then maybe you can cook, and then

563
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,199
Speaker 2: you would enjoy that because you do like cooking.

564
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 3: I do. Yeah, yeah, bitch, So.

565
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,639
Speaker 2: I think that I think you're putting on I'm not

566
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 2: think like enjoying this a little bit more than you.

567
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,399
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe just don't put so much pressure on yourself

568
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 2: to fucking have to do everything that a wife does,

569
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 2: Like what is a wife? What is a wife's responsibility

570
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:07,800
Speaker 2: in your patriarchal programming and.

571
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:13,160
Speaker 3: My patriochal programming, is that like everything like like everything

572
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:16,040
Speaker 3: else to support the family, which is like cooking, which

573
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,639
Speaker 3: is cleaning, which is I realize that, like I'm not

574
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,119
Speaker 3: good at planning ahead. So if one thing, if I like,

575
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 3: do one thing lazy, then everything else is messed up.

576
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 3: If I like, if I you know, like if I

577
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:27,400
Speaker 3: don't clean the house and it's hard for me to cook,

578
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,720
Speaker 3: and then it's like everything's a disaster. Then it's late

579
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:31,640
Speaker 3: and then I didn't wake up early enough to make

580
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:35,240
Speaker 3: the lunch, and then everything's fucked up. Snowball it's just snowballing. Ef,

581
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,719
Speaker 3: It's all bad. It's late here, fucking don't do anything.

582
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:43,199
Speaker 3: Order pizza. I mean kind of sometimes. I mean, just

583
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 3: like we were.

584
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 2: Talking about again in last week's episode, around like surrendering

585
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 2: to the mess of like motherhood too, and like sometimes

586
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:51,000
Speaker 2: you're not gonna like fucking hit all the mom marks,

587
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:53,880
Speaker 2: Like sometimes you gotta like do the shortcut wife mark too.

588
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,160
Speaker 3: Keep in mind, I'm only on day fifteen.

589
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,159
Speaker 2: Okay, guess it's a new muscle you're flexing. Yeah, you

590
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 2: know it's a little flat that, Yeah.

591
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:04,800
Speaker 3: You know.

592
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:09,800
Speaker 2: I never like when I think about wife wifing, cleaning

593
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 2: is not in the I mean I clean anyway, but

594
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:17,080
Speaker 2: like it being a part of my duty as your

595
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:18,400
Speaker 2: wife is not party.

596
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:20,200
Speaker 3: You have a cleaner, you don't even think about it,

597
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:22,160
Speaker 3: Like you just come home and it's cleaning and thinking

598
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:23,680
Speaker 3: about your mind is clear.

599
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:28,160
Speaker 2: My house gets dirty in one day, maybe every house,

600
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:30,640
Speaker 2: even though you have a cleaner like your My house

601
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 2: is dirty within twenty four hours. Again. But I like,

602
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 2: I will say, like the cooking aspect, because there's parts

603
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:40,720
Speaker 2: of like I never cooked really for Freddy at all,

604
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 2: and like cleaned except that fried chicken, except for that

605
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:48,120
Speaker 2: fight chicken. And there was a reason. But maybe that's

606
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,800
Speaker 2: why I didn't work out. I like tod know, wife duties,

607
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 2: like none of them.

608
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:54,920
Speaker 3: Was he expecting that from me? No, I don't think so.

609
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 3: And the crazy part is my mom was not that

610
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 3: type of wife at all. I don't know where I

611
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:04,800
Speaker 3: collected these ideas from, Like my dad was. I'm marrying

612
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 3: someone who in some ways really does a mirror my dad,

613
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 3: Like my dad was the primary cook in my household.

614
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 3: My dad really was like like my mama took us

615
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 3: to like appointments and make sure we got our fucking

616
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:18,080
Speaker 3: teeth to the dentist and she like that. But my

617
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:22,800
Speaker 3: dad really was like hands on. So I don't know

618
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 3: where I'd adopted these Well, that's probably Latina house Latina

619
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 3: culture of my housewife, because I literally I think it's

620
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 3: because I didn't see it in my household.

621
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 2: I was to say, because you didn't see it's probably

622
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 2: why you have resistance for it.

623
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 3: And also I kind of like like admired that, like

624
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 3: I wanted to be pretty but like big cakes and

625
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 3: stuff like that. But yeah, but I honestly I aspired

626
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 3: to be a rich housewife, kind of like that lady

627
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:51,760
Speaker 3: that I we know on the line that I sent

628
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 3: you the other day that I said, it's kind of

629
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:56,200
Speaker 3: getting on my nerves, probably because I'm kind of jealous.

630
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:57,479
Speaker 2: I'm not jealous.

631
00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 3: She's like, look at what my cook made me, look

632
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:02,200
Speaker 3: at my chef, And I'm like, that's how I could

633
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 3: be a housewife if I have a chef, a maid,

634
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 3: and the chauffeur.

635
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 2: I mean that sounds like my kind of housewife. And honestly,

636
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:16,240
Speaker 2: like I don't. I think I haven't. I haven't somewhat patriarchal.

637
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 2: I don't even gonna call it that, just traditional traditional

638
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 2: trad wife things that come up in my relationships, Like

639
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:26,720
Speaker 2: I do enjoy cooking, But do I want to cook

640
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 2: every night?

641
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 3: No?

642
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 2: Like and cooking is like a new thing that I

643
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 2: enjoy in my relationship. Do I enjoy cleaning? I like

644
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 2: to have a clean house. I will clean if I'm

645
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:35,800
Speaker 2: annoyed and I'm like, fuck it, we just need to

646
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 2: clean the shit up. But like, do I have that

647
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:41,800
Speaker 2: part of my duties? No, that's like a shared responsibility, Like.

648
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 3: Do I washing clothes?

649
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 2: I fucking hate washing clothes. I fucking hate folding clothes,

650
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:52,440
Speaker 2: putting them away. I will put them in the machine,

651
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 2: but the.

652
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:56,120
Speaker 3: Last those last two steps, you can.

653
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 2: Count me out. Like I don't need that. So I

654
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:00,320
Speaker 2: think that like for me to be really true, really

655
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 2: happy and as a wife in the relationship dynamic like

656
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 2: a there needs to be a fifty to fifty element.

657
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:06,720
Speaker 3: The way I got it.

658
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 2: Fucked up though, was the fifty to fifty like paying element,

659
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 2: because I did that in relationships where like I went

660
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:13,640
Speaker 2: fifty to fifty with my baby daddy on a lot

661
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:15,240
Speaker 2: of shit, and I should have never done.

662
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 3: I should have never did that, Like I don't know

663
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:19,560
Speaker 3: why the fuck I did that. This bitch is stupid. Yeah,

664
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 3: he's like, okay, all right, you might pay half the right.

665
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:24,240
Speaker 2: I mean, I think it's like I think it's like

666
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 2: my own like hyperindependence trauma around like money and people

667
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 2: thinking like feeling like I owe anybody anything.

668
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 3: Also like just liking my it's not even hyper deefents.

669
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:36,560
Speaker 2: I just like feeling like independent and I've done I'm

670
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 2: doing something for me, you know. But sometimes at my

671
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 2: own detriment, like where I'm like fucking at my lost

672
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 2: last dollar. Don't don't know how I'm gonna like it,

673
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 2: and I'm not gonna say anything like that's stupid as hell,

674
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:53,520
Speaker 2: But the fifty fifty dynamic doesn't doesn't I need that

675
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 2: dynamic aside from that in my household. But for the

676
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:02,040
Speaker 2: most part, like, yeah, I want I want service in

677
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 2: the home. I think that that's going to help. I

678
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 2: think that if I think that will help my relationship.

679
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 2: And I know, I know that's like yes, that's like okay, bitch, well,

680
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 2: but yeah, like in my ideal world, if we're talking

681
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 2: ideally and the life that I'm calling in that I'm

682
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 2: working really hard for, that is what's going to happen.

683
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 2: It's what's going to need to happen.

684
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 3: Because I want to go to lunch with my friends.

685
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't want to stay home.

686
00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 3: I want to go to my gym and then come

687
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 3: home and like dinner's already prepared and I just like

688
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:29,120
Speaker 3: put in the oven. I think that, you know what

689
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 3: I realized in this like as I'm preparing to uh

690
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:37,480
Speaker 3: literally walk down the aisle and like expand my family

691
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:40,080
Speaker 3: and like I'm getting older even though I've been an

692
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 3: adult for a very long time, I realized that like

693
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 3: the vowels or like the role of a wife isn't

694
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:52,120
Speaker 3: something I've had to really deeply like sit with and

695
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 3: understand and like vow like vow to because it's been

696
00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:00,080
Speaker 3: a concept for so long that yes, I want to

697
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 3: be married, But I think that these niggas have so

698
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 3: generally on a mass level, comes so below the bar

699
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 3: that I haven't really it's only been a concept. It's

700
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:16,400
Speaker 3: never been something I've actually had to put into play

701
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 3: because most of the men that I've dated have not

702
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:21,640
Speaker 3: shown up in a way that I've had to like

703
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 3: really be like, Wow, I feel so supportive, such a

704
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 3: great man. What do I need to do next? So

705
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 3: now that I'm in that space, I'm like, oh, ship,

706
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 3: your turn. I got to read a book or something.

707
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 3: What pages this on? Fuss? I want to chat because

708
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 3: they know everything. Chat. I think Chatchibut is a she,

709
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 3: a he, or a they. It's anyone you want, you

710
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 3: can you can assign it. You can assign its gender. Yeah,

711
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 3: did your talk to you? I don't.

712
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 2: I don't know.

713
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:53,560
Speaker 3: I don't know.

714
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 2: I don't do that. I don't even know how to

715
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 2: do that. How do I make him talk to me?

716
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:59,120
Speaker 3: But I don't know, I don't, I don't like I

717
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 3: robot in my foot in house?

718
00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 2: How do you become a wife?

719
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 3: How do you know? Not become? How do you be away?

720
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 3: How do you be? How? What are wife duties?

721
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 7: Be a wife?

722
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:15,640
Speaker 2: Tragbt Thanks a big and meaningful question, and a good

723
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:18,319
Speaker 2: one to ask. If you're thinking about marriage, are newly

724
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,080
Speaker 2: wet or just trying to grow in your role?

725
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,239
Speaker 3: That's me you start with.

726
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 2: You know yourself, your values, goals, boundaries, and identity matter

727
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 2: just as much in marriage as it does before. So

728
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:31,239
Speaker 2: kind of like when you're become a parent. Don't lose

729
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:35,239
Speaker 2: your identity. Stay grounded, Okay, don't lose your sense of

730
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 2: self in your role.

731
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 3: Tell us myself say it again, tullless myself, don't us myself,

732
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:41,400
Speaker 3: tell us myself.

733
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 2: A healthy marriage includes two whole people, not one person

734
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 2: disappearing into another. Yeah that fifty to fifty or one one,

735
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 2: not fifty to fifty's together one plus plus two three

736
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:03,759
Speaker 2: because third, h I got it. Listen, look at me, nye,

737
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 2: keep looking at me.

738
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 3: You got it? Got it? One three plus one equals

739
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 3: two plus one is three.

740
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:13,240
Speaker 2: Don't forget that, Okay, communicate honestly speak your needs clearly

741
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:20,840
Speaker 2: and listen to your partners' needs. Listen, listen, practice empathy.

742
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:26,360
Speaker 3: I care, but what you're saying you don't always have

743
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 3: to agree.

744
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 2: But it helps to meet in the middle.

745
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 3: I genuinely care.

746
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:32,920
Speaker 2: You have to be in the middle all the time.

747
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:33,919
Speaker 3: I don't care.

748
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 2: That's where the fun. The fun is where you don't

749
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,720
Speaker 2: meet in the middle. Don't bottle things up. Resentment grows

750
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:41,360
Speaker 2: in silence.

751
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 3: That's true. That's the hardest one. Though.

752
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:51,279
Speaker 2: Build and rebuild intimacy. This includes emotional closeness, physical affection, vulnerability,

753
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:54,279
Speaker 2: and fun. Stay curious about your partner. Don't assume you

754
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:59,840
Speaker 2: know everything about them just because you're married. This is

755
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:00,760
Speaker 2: this is very ethical.

756
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:04,399
Speaker 3: Okay, chatchy, she's been reading the internet. Live live.

757
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 2: The commitment marriage is as a choice you make daily,

758
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 2: not just a status. It's not just a concept, bitch.

759
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:14,520
Speaker 2: It's a real thing.

760
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:16,800
Speaker 3: Okay, not just the ring and the dress.

761
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:21,200
Speaker 2: Got it? Keep growing? Know what a light? Know what

762
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 2: a wife isn't?

763
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:23,560
Speaker 3: What is a wife isn't?

764
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 2: A wife is not a servant.

765
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 3: Oh see write that down, Orlando.

766
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:32,640
Speaker 2: She is not a doormat or an emotional dumping ground

767
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:33,960
Speaker 2: or a robot.

768
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:36,760
Speaker 3: Ai, you are.

769
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:40,440
Speaker 2: Not responsible for managing everything. You can't manage everything, all

770
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:43,480
Speaker 2: the all the things, all of this. You can't even

771
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:45,799
Speaker 2: manage all of his emotions. I can't even manage my

772
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 2: own his responsibilities or his mistakes, you can't manage them.

773
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 2: He has to deal with that shit himself. Sometimes I

774
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 2: get a therapist if something feels deeply wrong. Trust your

775
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:56,320
Speaker 2: instincts and seek help.

776
00:36:58,080 --> 00:36:59,879
Speaker 3: Therapist. I'm calling eve this.

777
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 2: A final thought that chatchybt Haspepe. Being a wife is

778
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:07,480
Speaker 2: ultimately about being a partner. It's about mutual respect, care,

779
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 2: growth and teamwork, not outdated stereotypes or losing yourself. I'll

780
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,200
Speaker 2: do it, stereott it okay. If you want to talk

781
00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 2: about this in terms of your culture, religion, or personal situation,

782
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:19,960
Speaker 2: I can tailor the advice to fit that too. Put

783
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:21,840
Speaker 2: for blacks, would you like a version of this in

784
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:24,839
Speaker 2: checklist or journal prompt form? And that's where we're done,

785
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 2: chatty Chi, that's where the sense to your journal.

786
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:31,720
Speaker 3: Orlando has been at work for six zero point seven

787
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,880
Speaker 3: hours and I don't know what to do. Should I

788
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 3: start with the dishes or the laundry? Today I did

789
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:41,239
Speaker 3: clean the kitchen, and I did the dishes and I

790
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 3: put it on stories.

791
00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:44,239
Speaker 2: So I saw it looks great.

792
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:46,480
Speaker 3: I'm trying to be accountable online. If if I do

793
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:48,839
Speaker 3: it online, then I'll do it. It's true, it's kind

794
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 3: of fucked up. It's the why I take my vitamins

795
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 3: every morning.

796
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:52,399
Speaker 2: It's the line.

797
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:54,439
Speaker 3: It's the only way the Internet's working for.

798
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 2: Me, the only way if I don't take my vitamins

799
00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:58,800
Speaker 2: on Instagram stories, did I take that?

800
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 3: I do it? Am I even a wife? Did you

801
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 3: see my ring? Did you see me get proposed to?

802
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:07,840
Speaker 3: Like now I'm cleaning death? Yeah? No, wife?

803
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:11,000
Speaker 2: The wife role is crazy. I was telling Mila before

804
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 2: we started recording that I've been taking care of my

805
00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:16,400
Speaker 2: boyfriend because he was sick over the last two weeks

806
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:20,240
Speaker 2: and just thinking about like through the vows of marriage,

807
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 2: through sickness and health and how like I was like,

808
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:27,839
Speaker 2: can I do this? Am I? Like one day he's

809
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 2: going to get old, Like like like my dog Shaka

810
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:34,200
Speaker 2: that I was annoyed the fuck with when she got old.

811
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 3: That was a dog, babe, I know, but I loved

812
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 3: her at one point.

813
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:44,600
Speaker 2: Agent I'm just saying, like I had to really ask myself,

814
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 2: can I care for someone's health long term, like if

815
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 2: you are if you sign up to a healthy person

816
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,880
Speaker 2: right and you don't even consider the fact that they

817
00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:00,319
Speaker 2: might potentially fall ill, get sick. And I'm thinking of

818
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 2: like all the people whose partners like have cancer, like

819
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 2: all these different things that you just you didn't sign

820
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 2: up for. Well, you did sign up for when you said,

821
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 2: I guess when you've said that vow, but you didn't

822
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:11,799
Speaker 2: know you signed up for until you were there, and

823
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:13,880
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, I gotta wipe this nigga's ass. I

824
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 2: did not what my man's ass for the record, but I'm.

825
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 3: Saying, would you look, yeah, I would.

826
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:26,239
Speaker 2: I'm glad we're not there yet. But like, I would

827
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:27,879
Speaker 2: do a lot of things for the people that I love.

828
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 2: I know that about myself. And that's what this situation

829
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 2: also showed me is that iye, I would do a

830
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:34,879
Speaker 2: lot for the people that I love. But it does

831
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 2: require and pull something out of you that sometimes you

832
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 2: have to go looking for. You have to go search

833
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,880
Speaker 2: for it. It's not just there by nature, like you know,

834
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:48,240
Speaker 2: as women, we're always talking about like we're nurturers by nature,

835
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:51,760
Speaker 2: and it's like nurture is by nature to who.

836
00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:55,480
Speaker 3: But everyone liked our kids because it came out of

837
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 3: our body and like that reaction.

838
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:00,400
Speaker 2: Nurture to our partners, but like to what ex stent

839
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:04,000
Speaker 2: to how far? Like I think that there's everyone has

840
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 2: their their limits and their spectrums in that and it's

841
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:10,680
Speaker 2: not just like one hundred percent all the time. And

842
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:13,960
Speaker 2: that was surprising for me because I was like, of

843
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:15,959
Speaker 2: course I would just step into this role. Of course,

844
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:18,880
Speaker 2: it's easy, of course. And then I was like ooh, okay,

845
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:22,840
Speaker 2: and you know, I'm like it was just it was

846
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 2: just interesting because I was really thinking about like, yeah,

847
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 2: like the vows that you take when you marry someone

848
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:31,520
Speaker 2: and you say those things through sickness and health, and

849
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:35,840
Speaker 2: how often those things happen and it destroys relationships because

850
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 2: you weren't really prepared for what that looked like and

851
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 2: or or you're in it right now and you're like

852
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 2: rising to the occasion and actually like damn, I didn't

853
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:45,759
Speaker 2: even know I had this in me.

854
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 3: Fuck the preparation. Yeah, the preparation. And a lot of us,

855
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,279
Speaker 3: I mean most of us are there's like no just

856
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 3: like there's no mommy handbook outside of a good mom's

857
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:58,319
Speaker 3: gude to making bad choices. But there's no guide necessarily

858
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:01,640
Speaker 3: to how to be, you know, a supportive nurturing wife,

859
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:03,239
Speaker 3: and there are I'm.

860
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:04,480
Speaker 2: Sure the Trachy has a guy.

861
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:08,360
Speaker 3: I've chattypt has everything, but like to embody it and

862
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:10,759
Speaker 3: to like just show up that way is not like

863
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 3: and I unpopular opinion, like all women are not nurturing

864
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:15,879
Speaker 3: and most of us are not. Because if you didn't

865
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:17,880
Speaker 3: see your mom be nurturing, then how the fuck are

866
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 3: you supposed to like actualize something that you've never witnessed

867
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 3: or experienced. Even that time, if you look in our

868
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:29,480
Speaker 3: our archives that time that I was dating a gentleman

869
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:33,320
Speaker 3: named adventure Bae, I mean went to Palm Springs and

870
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 3: this motherfucker out passed out, fainted, and my first instinct was, oh,

871
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:43,759
Speaker 3: hell n hell to the no. I don't even know

872
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 3: you'd like that. I was like, I was pretending to

873
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 3: be nurturing, but in my head, I was like counting

874
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:52,160
Speaker 3: your day, days are numbered, niggas. I was like, he's

875
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:55,399
Speaker 3: too old, he faints in the heat. I was like very,

876
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:57,759
Speaker 3: I was showing up real nurturing. I was petting him,

877
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 3: I was looking into his eyes, but inside I was panicking,

878
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:02,600
Speaker 3: like this nigga has got to go, and that was

879
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:04,319
Speaker 3: the first time I was like, oh no, I don't

880
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 3: like you enough for this. There is a level of

881
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 3: love that you get to that then you, I think,

882
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 3: can can catapult you to a nurturing space where you're like, oh,

883
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:13,719
Speaker 3: I love you a lot because I can show up

884
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 3: this way. But in that moment especially, I guess at

885
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:19,440
Speaker 3: that time it was five years ago. Fuck wow, uh,

886
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:22,360
Speaker 3: Luna was like five, and I was like, I already

887
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:24,319
Speaker 3: have a human outside of me that I have to

888
00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:27,360
Speaker 3: care for and nurture and that's like not a liability.

889
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 2: That can be a mother's excuse for a whole lifetime.

890
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:32,200
Speaker 2: Though I don't know is at any point you are

891
00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:34,879
Speaker 2: like I don't You're always I'll always feel that way

892
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:36,719
Speaker 2: about my daughter, you know what I mean, Like even

893
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:38,759
Speaker 2: if she goes off into the world and obviously the

894
00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 2: relationship changes. But I'm like, I.

895
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 3: Can't handle if anything happens to you five or fifteen

896
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:47,520
Speaker 3: shit like, but that's the thing, like you, I couldn't.

897
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:50,319
Speaker 3: I couldn't handle it if anything severe happened to my child,

898
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,360
Speaker 3: I would like show up it all all the way.

899
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 3: But like you have, and that's someone who has come

900
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:58,480
Speaker 3: out of my body, Like physically, I saw you come

901
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:01,239
Speaker 3: out of my kuchi. So this other nigga that came

902
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 3: out of somebody who else is kuchi? I don't know.

903
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:04,399
Speaker 3: I don't know if it's like.

904
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 2: Not my kuchie, not my problem problem.

905
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 3: You came out of it. But you know what I'm saying,

906
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:10,880
Speaker 3: come out of it. You know you might go in

907
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:15,400
Speaker 3: there sometimes, you know, So it is like you really

908
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:20,919
Speaker 3: have to really examine. And I will admit, like I'm

909
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:24,560
Speaker 3: in a space where I'm opened that I don't necessarily

910
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 3: come with these tools and tricks and I have to

911
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:30,839
Speaker 3: like kind of be in a place where I am

912
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:35,239
Speaker 3: empathetic and supportive and showing up for my family in

913
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:38,160
Speaker 3: a way that like I haven't really Like I feel

914
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:40,319
Speaker 3: like it's just getting real right now, Like shit's getting real.

915
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:42,560
Speaker 3: Like I got the ring, got bitch, he got a job.

916
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:44,839
Speaker 3: Now what you're gonna do? You gotta really show up.

917
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 3: But I'm not gonna put so much pressure on myself.

918
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 3: But I do feel like even in like the Kenya

919
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 3: ste Caven's Kenya k Stevens class that we took on,

920
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 3: like the marital pre marital stuff was helpful, but I'm

921
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:02,640
Speaker 3: like I need to read books or like at least

922
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 3: make a make a make pillars for myself so that

923
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 3: I can like actively be working on showing up in

924
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 3: this role better. Just like if I was going to

925
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:14,800
Speaker 3: show up at Good Moms and we did a retreat,

926
00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:16,239
Speaker 3: now I got to show up in that way. And

927
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:17,880
Speaker 3: we do merch, so now I got to show up

928
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:20,239
Speaker 3: in that way. Like just like any other job or partnership,

929
00:44:20,719 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 3: or like in school, if I want to learn something,

930
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:24,239
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go to class and figure it out. Like

931
00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:26,680
Speaker 3: I recognize that that's the only way you get better

932
00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:29,200
Speaker 3: if you like ask other wives or you read a

933
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:33,440
Speaker 3: book or the Divine just downloads wife things to.

934
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:36,840
Speaker 2: You or you and just do it and like get on,

935
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:39,439
Speaker 2: get be okay with the discomfort of it. I think,

936
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 2: like even thinking about like you're taking that marital course

937
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:47,760
Speaker 2: with Kenya, and just all the and just the tools

938
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 2: in general that like we've acquired over the course of

939
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:54,320
Speaker 2: our careers in life, Like sometimes it's still hard to

940
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:57,480
Speaker 2: put those things in practice when you're in an argument,

941
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:00,480
Speaker 2: when you're like when you're when you're default at coming

942
00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:02,279
Speaker 2: up and you're like, I don't give a fuck, get

943
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 2: the fuck out of my face. I don't want to

944
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:06,239
Speaker 2: do animal anime whatever the fuck. But you're like, but

945
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:09,200
Speaker 2: you know, it requires one person to at least be

946
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,680
Speaker 2: able to bring you back to that space, because both

947
00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:15,400
Speaker 2: of you are not always gonna meet there and be

948
00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 2: ready to do the work together at the same time.

949
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:20,759
Speaker 2: And like it does require like the someone to be

950
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:21,200
Speaker 2: in it.

951
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:24,320
Speaker 3: Well the other person isn't. You can't learn the tools,

952
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:28,480
Speaker 3: but like actually utilizing them in a high fucking emotional

953
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:31,880
Speaker 3: place is a whole different thing. I can know to meditate,

954
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:34,600
Speaker 3: I know the fucking water element, bitch. But am I

955
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 3: gonna get angry and go I'll be back. I'm gonna

956
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:40,000
Speaker 3: go meditate and then we'll come back and talk about this. Yeah,

957
00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:42,440
Speaker 3: probably the fuck not yeah, because the Philly in me

958
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:45,239
Speaker 3: is too clear and too like rembunct Like you have

959
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 3: to constantly be sharpening that tool. And like even in

960
00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:51,400
Speaker 3: our relationship, even as a mom, I'm like, I can

961
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:53,600
Speaker 3: know what to do put your fucking phone down, bitch,

962
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:56,120
Speaker 3: and sometimes you just don't do it. And it's like

963
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 3: and you can like attack yourself and be disappointed and

964
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:03,120
Speaker 3: be yourself, but also gently starting over and doing it

965
00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:04,919
Speaker 3: again and giving yourself the opportunity to do it again

966
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:07,719
Speaker 3: and again to like to eventually be better. You're going

967
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:13,719
Speaker 3: to fail before you actually actualize it. But maybe this, like,

968
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 3: especially in a world where everybody's in open relationships, and

969
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:20,120
Speaker 3: I feel like marriage is like not a priority as much.

970
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 3: We're not even like coming up in a socially in

971
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 3: a place where like long term partnership is prioritized or

972
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:32,400
Speaker 3: talked about positively, So we really have to like try.

973
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:37,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it's true, because, like I mean, I've I guess,

974
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:39,840
Speaker 2: I guess I've had an example of long term partnership

975
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:44,759
Speaker 2: with my mom and that I guess I have, but it.

976
00:46:44,719 --> 00:46:45,799
Speaker 3: Still feels foreign to me.

977
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 2: It still feels foreign to me, I think, because the

978
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:53,400
Speaker 2: dynamic that my mom and my stepfather have is like beautiful,

979
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:57,160
Speaker 2: and but it's not like necessarily like what I'm aspiring for,

980
00:46:57,320 --> 00:46:58,759
Speaker 2: do you know what I mean? And I don't mean

981
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 2: that in an offensive way. I just mean, like, I know,

982
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:05,400
Speaker 2: like what my soul's path and love is supposed to

983
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:06,480
Speaker 2: look like is not the What.

984
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:10,360
Speaker 3: Does it look like outside of the main and the

985
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:14,480
Speaker 3: driver and the cook like mine, Like outside.

986
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 2: Of that passion passion, it looks like passion. It looks

987
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:24,120
Speaker 2: like deep, deep communication. It looks like spontaneity. It looks

988
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:30,200
Speaker 2: like collaboration, it looks like working together, it looks like space,

989
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:31,959
Speaker 2: it looks like.

990
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:34,880
Speaker 3: Individualism.

991
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:40,920
Speaker 2: It looks like like I invited. I am inviting in

992
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:43,680
Speaker 2: the discomfort. Like even yesterday me and him sat and

993
00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:45,600
Speaker 2: like yab yum, and like I was not. I didn't

994
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:48,040
Speaker 2: give a I didn't really want to. And that's what

995
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:50,320
Speaker 2: I was thinking about, Like knowing you have these tools

996
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:52,239
Speaker 2: and you do them and it didn't go how I want.

997
00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:56,440
Speaker 2: It didn't go how we hope it goes. But we

998
00:47:56,480 --> 00:47:58,400
Speaker 2: did it, do you know what I mean? And like

999
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:01,359
Speaker 2: it's just like but I'm okay. I woke up this morning.

1000
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:03,440
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm okay with that because I'm still in

1001
00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:06,080
Speaker 2: the work with it. I'm still doing the work. It's

1002
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:09,799
Speaker 2: just like sometimes the work there's no progress when you

1003
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:13,320
Speaker 2: show up, Like sometimes you sit on a call. Sometimes

1004
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:14,920
Speaker 2: we'll sit on a call and be like did we

1005
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:16,000
Speaker 2: get anything done?

1006
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:19,280
Speaker 3: I don't know, But what we showed up literally yesterday,

1007
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:21,279
Speaker 3: but we showed up. What do you think? I don't know,

1008
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:24,120
Speaker 3: I don't fucking know, But like what we showed up?

1009
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:26,440
Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean? So it eventually eventually

1010
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:27,720
Speaker 3: the answers will be answered.

1011
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:29,759
Speaker 2: But I think that that's like also like what I'm

1012
00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:34,320
Speaker 2: realizing relationships are like too. It's like sometimes there's no progress,

1013
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 2: you know, but you're showing up, so.

1014
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:38,680
Speaker 3: There is, there's always a process.

1015
00:48:38,719 --> 00:48:41,400
Speaker 2: It's like the consistency of showing up even when like

1016
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:44,920
Speaker 2: no decision has been made, no choices have been resolved,

1017
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:47,400
Speaker 2: like things haven't been resolved, but you're there, you know.

1018
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:50,880
Speaker 2: So I want to be in relationship with my partner,

1019
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:52,719
Speaker 2: and I am in relationship with my partner where we're

1020
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:57,120
Speaker 2: both committed to showing up at least at the very least,

1021
00:48:57,239 --> 00:48:58,000
Speaker 2: we're going to show.

1022
00:48:57,880 --> 00:48:59,640
Speaker 3: It, like we agreed to be here, So let's do

1023
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 3: our best, let's put our best fit forward, Let's grow

1024
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:05,240
Speaker 3: in the process and agree that it might not always

1025
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:07,719
Speaker 3: look like this, it might not always be easy, but

1026
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:12,000
Speaker 3: we're here to see out the process whatever that is. Yeah, yeah,

1027
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:14,359
Speaker 3: and I agree. Like the passion, I think that that's

1028
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:17,480
Speaker 3: always been really big for me, Like romanticism and passion,

1029
00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:21,919
Speaker 3: and like I even as a like a rebel with thought,

1030
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:24,920
Speaker 3: a rebel hoe without a cause, I was very clear

1031
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:28,800
Speaker 3: that like I wanted a relationship that was like juicy

1032
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:34,359
Speaker 3: and fun and like intimate and like there's chemistry, and

1033
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:35,799
Speaker 3: like I think a lot of times we look at

1034
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:37,719
Speaker 3: movies and like people try to say, like I mean,

1035
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:40,600
Speaker 3: and obviously I've only been in a relationship five years

1036
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 3: or four or five years, but I think that there's

1037
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:46,160
Speaker 3: space for it to be passionate and to be all

1038
00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:48,840
Speaker 3: those things and to like still be attracted to your partner,

1039
00:49:48,840 --> 00:49:51,360
Speaker 3: Like is it gonna be on ten forever? Maybe not,

1040
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:54,400
Speaker 3: but I do think, like the move the movie theater

1041
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:58,600
Speaker 3: version we see of love, like that high arows, like

1042
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:02,480
Speaker 3: I think that that is is obtainable, and I think

1043
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:05,000
Speaker 3: they tell you like, oh, sex is gonna die, Like

1044
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:07,480
Speaker 3: they give you all these things that to expect, and

1045
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:10,360
Speaker 3: I just like I refuse to accept that, and I

1046
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:13,560
Speaker 3: and I and like, thankfully in my relationship, I'm continuously

1047
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:16,640
Speaker 3: every day proving that wrong, because there's attraction, there's love,

1048
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:19,600
Speaker 3: there's there's sex, you know what I mean, There's spontaneity,

1049
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:23,880
Speaker 3: and I feel like people underestimate like the passion peace

1050
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:29,000
Speaker 3: in relationships and and like long term marriages. Even the

1051
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 3: other day, I was doing like ask a sexologist on

1052
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:33,840
Speaker 3: my stories, and somebody asked, like, I feel like I

1053
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:36,040
Speaker 3: can't be as sexually open as I used to be,

1054
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:38,400
Speaker 3: And I was like, that's because a lot of times,

1055
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:41,080
Speaker 3: like the resentment gets so high, so there's like you

1056
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:44,280
Speaker 3: feel like the other person's constantly judging you, whereas before

1057
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:46,319
Speaker 3: you're like, oh, anything you want to do, baby, you know,

1058
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:48,919
Speaker 3: and then when things happen and things happen and things happen,

1059
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:51,480
Speaker 3: then you're building up judgments and ideas about the other

1060
00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:55,120
Speaker 3: person that don't allow you to like just let them. Yeah,

1061
00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:58,279
Speaker 3: but I like that is one of the things that's high, high,

1062
00:50:58,360 --> 00:51:01,239
Speaker 3: high on my list, Like I want you to be

1063
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:03,640
Speaker 3: smacking my ass and us to be making out and

1064
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:07,719
Speaker 3: like doing fun shit and like having that desire for

1065
00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:11,400
Speaker 3: one another forever or else we're roommates.

1066
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 2: I think that, yes, And I think that there's probably

1067
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 2: people listening that have like maybe, like you said, like

1068
00:51:18,040 --> 00:51:20,759
Speaker 2: experience that in their relationship early on or maybe for

1069
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 2: a long time, and then there's a break in the

1070
00:51:22,719 --> 00:51:26,680
Speaker 2: in the dynamic and it's like maybe it's just changed,

1071
00:51:26,760 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 2: like maybe it's over. Maybe we can't get it back.

1072
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 2: And that's where like the showing up part is, that's

1073
00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:34,799
Speaker 2: where the work shows up, because their relationships do go

1074
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:37,600
Speaker 2: through seasons like I pray that you and Orlando never

1075
00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:39,319
Speaker 2: go through a season like that. But if you do,

1076
00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:42,840
Speaker 2: knowing that like there, you can always get back to

1077
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:45,319
Speaker 2: that place, you know, like, but there is a requirement

1078
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:46,920
Speaker 2: for you to at least show up.

1079
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:48,880
Speaker 3: And both be willing.

1080
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:52,319
Speaker 2: I don't even say open, because sometimes one person might

1081
00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:54,480
Speaker 2: not really be open in that moment, but you're but

1082
00:51:54,520 --> 00:52:00,680
Speaker 2: you're still there, you know, to be able to pull

1083
00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:02,719
Speaker 2: the other, roll the other one out yeaeah. And that's

1084
00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 2: what I hear a lot about, like in marriages too,

1085
00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 2: It's like not everyone's always all the way in the

1086
00:52:07,520 --> 00:52:11,160
Speaker 2: whole time. It's it's like the beauty the longest relationships

1087
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:14,440
Speaker 2: are like we just were on this. We were our

1088
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 2: our our entity, our whatever we created was on the

1089
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:22,120
Speaker 2: different level at each at each moment, and.

1090
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:24,480
Speaker 3: You weren't when I was at fun. Yeah yeah, yeah.

1091
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:27,640
Speaker 2: And it's like and and that's and that's how you

1092
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:30,279
Speaker 2: know you're supposed to be with that person, you know, Like,

1093
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:33,640
Speaker 2: this is not you saying be miserable in your relationship.

1094
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:37,080
Speaker 3: Hell, don't be miserable, but also do something about it. Yeah,

1095
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:39,880
Speaker 3: that's why I told the gentleman who was in my damns.

1096
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:42,959
Speaker 3: I was like, well, then do it. Then like, it's

1097
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:49,600
Speaker 3: not it's it's not rocket science. Don't over don't overthink it,

1098
00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:52,560
Speaker 3: just do it. And I was like, go to the tribe.

1099
00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:54,239
Speaker 3: You know, it's my favorite thing in the world. Go

1100
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:57,320
Speaker 3: to the drive in movie and finger Banger in the trunk.

1101
00:52:57,560 --> 00:53:01,879
Speaker 2: Just take ecstasy and you know, you know what Jamila's

1102
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:04,320
Speaker 2: cure for everything is you need Molly therapy.

1103
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:06,200
Speaker 3: I didn't say for everything at first. I said the

1104
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:08,880
Speaker 3: drive in bait, which is very PG and then I

1105
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:12,200
Speaker 3: said sometimes I will never forget or like our you're

1106
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:13,360
Speaker 3: one of our podcasts.

1107
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:15,399
Speaker 2: She's like, I'm going, oh, I'm going to New York

1108
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:18,719
Speaker 2: to go do Molly therapy with Young Bey because this

1109
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:21,000
Speaker 2: is how we're going to heal our relationship. And I

1110
00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:22,120
Speaker 2: was like, is that right?

1111
00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:24,680
Speaker 3: Did I do it? I don't think it worked.

1112
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:26,440
Speaker 2: Thank god it didn't work.

1113
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:28,120
Speaker 3: Oh my good God. I think you did do it.

1114
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:32,799
Speaker 3: But God, thank God for getting out of relationships when

1115
00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:34,759
Speaker 3: it's time to get out of them. Because Young Bay

1116
00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:36,839
Speaker 3: was not it. Neither was it Venture Bay or any

1117
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 3: of the other bays that were on the list of bays.

1118
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:43,400
Speaker 3: But I mean it's and you know what, and like

1119
00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:47,480
Speaker 3: shut out to us for trying and for you know,

1120
00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:50,360
Speaker 3: allowing ourselves to grow and to figure out exactly what

1121
00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:53,120
Speaker 3: it was that we needed, because without all the taste tests,

1122
00:53:53,239 --> 00:53:54,719
Speaker 3: you don't really know what kind of cake you want.

1123
00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:55,360
Speaker 7: That's true.

1124
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:59,239
Speaker 3: Gotta taste the flavors, taste the flavors to be like, no,

1125
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:03,280
Speaker 3: we don't need the peanut and this cake now, No, no,

1126
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:05,600
Speaker 3: don't that frosting doesn't go in that cake. No, that

1127
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:07,080
Speaker 3: muslim frosting is not gonna work.

1128
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:09,320
Speaker 2: No sprinkles please.

1129
00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:18,080
Speaker 3: Yeah. Wow, what a blessing to one day have the

1130
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:20,799
Speaker 3: like have the ability to like go push play on

1131
00:54:20,880 --> 00:54:22,960
Speaker 3: eight years of our lives, bitch, eight years of our

1132
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:26,719
Speaker 3: dating life. Because I'm pretty sure we're talking way too

1133
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:30,520
Speaker 3: honestly about whatever the fuck we were doing. But yeah,

1134
00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:33,680
Speaker 3: I'm really grateful for that, to like hear the growth

1135
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:36,439
Speaker 3: in real time. Not that I've ever I have gone

1136
00:54:36,480 --> 00:54:38,319
Speaker 3: back really except for that one time we did, like

1137
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:39,319
Speaker 3: the first year or two.

1138
00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:46,600
Speaker 2: But yeah, and thank you guys for fucking listening. Sorry

1139
00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:50,040
Speaker 2: in advance, if you were really frustrated with us for

1140
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:53,400
Speaker 2: a while, or you know, or you were like riding

1141
00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:58,319
Speaker 2: like gabbitch, I feel you. Yeah, it's been a it's

1142
00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:02,040
Speaker 2: continued to be a beautiful ride. And one day I

1143
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:05,200
Speaker 2: will go back and listen to all of our episodes,

1144
00:55:05,280 --> 00:55:07,080
Speaker 2: hopefully before my child ever does.

1145
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:10,279
Speaker 3: And if you're new here, and maybe you're in your

1146
00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:14,160
Speaker 3: you know, late twenties, early twenties, early thirties, and you

1147
00:55:14,160 --> 00:55:15,960
Speaker 3: know some of this other shit we're talking, doesn't it

1148
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 3: resonate with you. Just go to the beginning. Just go back,

1149
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:19,920
Speaker 3: just go to.

1150
00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:23,880
Speaker 2: The We weren't always you know, engaged in things of

1151
00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:25,760
Speaker 2: emotionally mature.

1152
00:55:26,080 --> 00:55:27,680
Speaker 3: We weren't. We weren't and like.

1153
00:55:28,040 --> 00:55:31,759
Speaker 2: Very immature, very think we were mature. I mean, I'm

1154
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:35,240
Speaker 2: just kidding. I mean there was some emotional immaturity for sure,

1155
00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:37,840
Speaker 2: for sure, but at least we were self aware.

1156
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:40,440
Speaker 3: We were self aware, you know, we were like, we're

1157
00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:46,320
Speaker 3: being stupid and it's so fun, woo wow, good old days.

1158
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:49,279
Speaker 3: But yeah, if you are just joining us, so you

1159
00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:51,680
Speaker 3: started in the middle, I really do highly recommend that

1160
00:55:51,719 --> 00:55:54,319
Speaker 3: you go back to the beginning. There are a lot

1161
00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:56,040
Speaker 3: of gems there. We went through a lot of shit.

1162
00:55:56,280 --> 00:55:58,960
Speaker 3: We and you know, we didn't just show up here

1163
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:01,719
Speaker 3: at good good media looking this good way to go

1164
00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:04,440
Speaker 3: through some hoops jump through some fire, date some frogs

1165
00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:06,920
Speaker 3: before we got here. Okay, my tits were smaller in

1166
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:09,919
Speaker 3: the beginning, for only like six months. You got those

1167
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:13,280
Speaker 3: tits very early. Look at my old tits. You're gonna

1168
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:14,080
Speaker 3: really have to look.

1169
00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:18,080
Speaker 7: Is it terrort time?

1170
00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:19,239
Speaker 3: It's terot time.

1171
00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:30,040
Speaker 2: Before we do terror, let's just let's just take a moment,

1172
00:56:30,719 --> 00:56:35,400
Speaker 2: just reset the energy. Do a few deep breaths. Wherever

1173
00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:38,680
Speaker 2: you're at. You're driving, please don't crash your car. Keep

1174
00:56:38,719 --> 00:56:41,719
Speaker 2: your eyes open, keep your eyes open, just you know,

1175
00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:45,040
Speaker 2: try to take a few breaths.

1176
00:56:44,840 --> 00:57:02,120
Speaker 4: In through your nose, out your mouth, Relax your.

1177
00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:13,360
Speaker 3: Jaw, am exhale was sound, Do a little moan because

1178
00:57:13,440 --> 00:57:26,720
Speaker 3: life is sweet and everything is good. Ah mm hmm.

1179
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:33,920
Speaker 7: Okay, now it's territyed.

1180
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:35,000
Speaker 3: Just a little reset.

1181
00:57:35,360 --> 00:57:36,400
Speaker 2: Do you want to pull my dear?

1182
00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:53,040
Speaker 3: Sure? Okay, she pulled the tower and I'm not gonna lie.

1183
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:56,040
Speaker 3: It looks kind of chaotic. There's people jumping out of

1184
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:59,800
Speaker 3: a tower that's on fire and maybe bleeding water at

1185
00:57:59,840 --> 00:58:03,320
Speaker 3: the automn It's okay, I think, so, okay, it's okay.

1186
00:58:04,120 --> 00:58:12,240
Speaker 2: The Tower card usually signifies sudden change, upheaval, chaos, revelation,

1187
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:17,440
Speaker 2: awakening when the Tower card appears in a tear reading.

1188
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:23,160
Speaker 2: Expect the unexpected, massive change, upheaval, destruction, and chaos. It

1189
00:58:23,240 --> 00:58:26,480
Speaker 2: may be divorced death or a love of a loved one,

1190
00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:30,080
Speaker 2: financial failure, health problems, natural disaster, job loss, or an

1191
00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:34,400
Speaker 2: event that shakes you to your court, affecting your spirituality, mentalit, mentally,

1192
00:58:34,440 --> 00:58:37,720
Speaker 2: and physically. There's no escaping it. Change is here to

1193
00:58:37,800 --> 00:58:41,400
Speaker 2: tear things up, create chaos, and destroy everything in its path.

1194
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:44,080
Speaker 3: I know I shouldn't picked this card. You did. Yeah,

1195
00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:45,720
Speaker 3: I was like, I shouldn't pick that one, and I

1196
00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:48,000
Speaker 3: picked anyway? Do you want to pick another one? Yep? Okay,

1197
00:58:49,440 --> 00:58:51,320
Speaker 3: okays for somebody else's driving.

1198
00:58:51,440 --> 00:58:54,400
Speaker 2: After Tower experience, you will grow stronger, wiser, and more

1199
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:56,960
Speaker 2: resilient as you developed a new perspective on life you

1200
00:58:57,040 --> 00:58:59,760
Speaker 2: did not even know existed. These moments are necessary for

1201
00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:02,840
Speaker 2: your spiritual growth and enlightenment, and truth and honesty will

1202
00:59:02,840 --> 00:59:07,000
Speaker 2: bring about a positive change, even if the experience, even

1203
00:59:07,040 --> 00:59:11,360
Speaker 2: if you experience pain and anxiety throughout the process. Thankfully,

1204
00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:14,400
Speaker 2: the Tower doesn't always associate with pain and turmoil. If

1205
00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:17,000
Speaker 2: you are a highly aware and in tune with your

1206
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:20,400
Speaker 2: inner guidance system, then this tarot card can indicate a

1207
00:59:20,720 --> 00:59:24,080
Speaker 2: spiritual wakening or revelation. You may be able to see

1208
00:59:24,080 --> 00:59:27,240
Speaker 2: the cracks forming and take action before the whole structure

1209
00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:30,919
Speaker 2: comes tumbling down. You may create a massive transformation before

1210
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:37,400
Speaker 2: you reach the point where change is your only option. Okay,

1211
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:40,080
Speaker 2: with this other card you pulled, my dear, This one

1212
00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:42,680
Speaker 2: looks a little eight of swords, which also is Look,

1213
00:59:42,880 --> 00:59:44,880
Speaker 2: this is the one where she's able to or like

1214
00:59:45,200 --> 00:59:48,040
Speaker 2: she feels like she's in a bind, but she's actually not.

1215
00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:49,440
Speaker 2: She just has to turn around.

1216
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:56,080
Speaker 3: What is this nine sorts? Yeah, she's blindfolded, she has

1217
00:59:56,160 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 3: her hands behind her back, and yeah, I know this one.

1218
01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:10,000
Speaker 2: Actually negative thoughts, self imposed restriction, victim mentality. The aid

1219
01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:12,280
Speaker 2: of swords reveals that you are trapped and restricted by

1220
01:00:12,320 --> 01:00:14,920
Speaker 2: your circumstances. You believe your options are limited with no

1221
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:17,880
Speaker 2: clear path out. You might be in an unfulfilling job,

1222
01:00:17,880 --> 01:00:21,080
Speaker 2: an abusive relationship, a significant amount of debt, or a

1223
01:00:21,120 --> 01:00:23,840
Speaker 2: situation way out of alignment with your inner being. You

1224
01:00:23,920 --> 01:00:25,880
Speaker 2: are now trapped between a rock and a hard place

1225
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:29,360
Speaker 2: with no resolution available. However, take note that the woman

1226
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:31,560
Speaker 2: in the card is not entirely imprisoned by the eight

1227
01:00:32,600 --> 01:00:35,560
Speaker 2: swords around her. And if she wanted to escape, she could.

1228
01:00:35,680 --> 01:00:38,240
Speaker 2: She merely needs to remove the blindfold and free herself

1229
01:00:38,280 --> 01:00:41,080
Speaker 2: from the self imposed bindings that hold her back. The

1230
01:00:41,120 --> 01:00:44,000
Speaker 2: aid of swords is often associated with a victim mentality.

1231
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:47,160
Speaker 2: You surrendered your power to an external entity, allowing yourself

1232
01:00:47,200 --> 01:00:50,919
Speaker 2: to become trapped and limited in some way. At times,

1233
01:00:50,920 --> 01:00:52,919
Speaker 2: the eight of Swords indicates that you are confused about

1234
01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:55,720
Speaker 2: whether you should stay or go, particularly if you are

1235
01:00:55,720 --> 01:00:58,720
Speaker 2: in a challenging situation. It is not as clear cut

1236
01:00:58,760 --> 01:01:01,160
Speaker 2: as you would like it, making the decision very difficult.

1237
01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:03,760
Speaker 2: You have one foot in hoping things can work out,

1238
01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:05,640
Speaker 2: but your other foot is out the door, ready to

1239
01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:08,080
Speaker 2: leave again. This card is asking you to get out

1240
01:01:08,080 --> 01:01:11,320
Speaker 2: of your head and drop down into your gut and

1241
01:01:11,400 --> 01:01:14,160
Speaker 2: your intuition so you can hear your inner guidance. Your

1242
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:17,080
Speaker 2: thoughts are not serving you right now. Your intuition is

1243
01:01:17,160 --> 01:01:17,960
Speaker 2: trust yourself.

1244
01:01:18,560 --> 01:01:24,680
Speaker 3: Hmmm, interesting pair that we pulled here. Hope that resonates

1245
01:01:25,040 --> 01:01:50,240
Speaker 3: with the collective. Do you have affirmation for us today?

1246
01:01:33,760 --> 01:01:51,720
Speaker 7: M You are naughty by nature.

1247
01:01:53,040 --> 01:01:55,200
Speaker 3: You're naughty by nature. You are naughty by nature. You

1248
01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:56,440
Speaker 3: are naughty by nature.

1249
01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:57,960
Speaker 7: You may not be a nurture by nature.

1250
01:01:58,080 --> 01:02:00,840
Speaker 3: But you will, you are, you are not by nature.

1251
01:02:01,120 --> 01:02:04,720
Speaker 3: We're inviting you to step into your naughtiness. It's today,

1252
01:02:04,720 --> 01:02:07,080
Speaker 3: it's Friday, as we're recording, whatever day it is. When

1253
01:02:07,080 --> 01:02:10,479
Speaker 3: you listen to this Wednesday, hump Day, Tuesday, titty day,

1254
01:02:10,720 --> 01:02:13,280
Speaker 3: whatever day, step into your naughtiness.

1255
01:02:13,320 --> 01:02:15,120
Speaker 2: Be naughty by nature, bad me meaning like.

1256
01:02:15,080 --> 01:02:18,400
Speaker 3: Sexually not just don't be just naughty. Don't be a bitch,

1257
01:02:19,840 --> 01:02:25,400
Speaker 3: nasty bitch like Tanash. I've been a nasty girl.

1258
01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:27,840
Speaker 2: God that I took over the internet first, I think

1259
01:02:28,080 --> 01:02:31,480
Speaker 2: I've been a nasty girl. Somebody gonna match my you

1260
01:02:31,520 --> 01:02:32,720
Speaker 2: know what, she wouldn't be coming up with.

1261
01:02:32,760 --> 01:02:33,800
Speaker 3: She got a lot of hits.

1262
01:02:33,880 --> 01:02:36,000
Speaker 2: She's like low key that person that one day we're

1263
01:02:36,040 --> 01:02:38,520
Speaker 2: gonna go to one of her shows, and I'd be like, God,

1264
01:02:38,640 --> 01:02:40,160
Speaker 2: it's like jay Loo. When I went to see fucking

1265
01:02:40,240 --> 01:02:41,640
Speaker 2: j Loo. I was not even like a big j

1266
01:02:41,760 --> 01:02:43,200
Speaker 2: Loo fan, but I went and saw her in Vegas

1267
01:02:43,280 --> 01:02:45,640
Speaker 2: by chance you and I was like this writch has

1268
01:02:45,680 --> 01:02:47,600
Speaker 2: so many goddamn hits.

1269
01:02:47,600 --> 01:02:49,480
Speaker 3: That came on yeshay in the car right after I

1270
01:02:49,560 --> 01:02:53,200
Speaker 3: left parent teacher night and I gave you all my tress.

1271
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:57,000
Speaker 3: Would you come for me and call me banks. Oh,

1272
01:02:57,000 --> 01:02:59,320
Speaker 3: but some of those notes that she hits song, But

1273
01:02:59,320 --> 01:03:00,960
Speaker 3: that's why I love them, because I can hit everyone,

1274
01:03:02,720 --> 01:03:07,600
Speaker 3: and I give you that one. Got this comedy is.

1275
01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:12,400
Speaker 2: She hits some really what is that line? It's like

1276
01:03:12,480 --> 01:03:14,000
Speaker 2: really bad. She really tries to.

1277
01:03:14,040 --> 01:03:15,560
Speaker 3: Go for it. She shouldn't have.

1278
01:03:15,800 --> 01:03:17,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I'm talking. But that's like towards

1279
01:03:17,280 --> 01:03:17,880
Speaker 2: the end of the song.

1280
01:03:18,080 --> 01:03:21,320
Speaker 3: No, there's a there's a whole Oh my god, she.

1281
01:03:21,280 --> 01:03:24,560
Speaker 2: Has a breakdown or breaks it down and dance moves.

1282
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:25,400
Speaker 3: Oh there's that's also.

1283
01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:26,919
Speaker 2: It's a not the one that Christina million.

1284
01:03:27,040 --> 01:03:31,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, like Christina got paid in that DJ playing my son,

1285
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:35,400
Speaker 3: because turn it up and turn it on, play play.

1286
01:03:35,520 --> 01:03:38,120
Speaker 2: She didn't write if you had My love Christina.

1287
01:03:38,240 --> 01:03:40,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, probably I don't any of that ship.

1288
01:03:40,680 --> 01:03:42,040
Speaker 2: That's true. She probably got.

1289
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:45,440
Speaker 3: Anyway, I was having deep nostalgia, so I was leaving

1290
01:03:45,600 --> 01:03:48,200
Speaker 3: sad from the parent teacher night because Luna is going

1291
01:03:48,240 --> 01:03:50,200
Speaker 3: to be eleven soon, she's going to be her last

1292
01:03:50,240 --> 01:03:53,280
Speaker 3: year in elementary school. And then that same song came

1293
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:54,560
Speaker 3: on and I'm pretty sure it came out when I

1294
01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:56,840
Speaker 3: was in sixth grade, and I was just like got

1295
01:03:56,880 --> 01:03:59,840
Speaker 3: her to speak to me via j Low Oh my god,

1296
01:04:00,160 --> 01:04:01,560
Speaker 3: me like a right back to elementary school.

1297
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:02,200
Speaker 2: Wow?

1298
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:11,440
Speaker 3: Anyway, God, some mom shites going fast. Be present, be present,

1299
01:04:12,760 --> 01:04:13,920
Speaker 3: and be naughty by nature.

1300
01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:14,960
Speaker 7: Be naughty by nature.

1301
01:04:15,520 --> 01:04:19,120
Speaker 3: Thank you for joining us. If you haven't joined our

1302
01:04:19,160 --> 01:04:23,920
Speaker 3: newsletter at good Momsbad Choices dot com, follow our personal

1303
01:04:23,960 --> 01:04:28,360
Speaker 3: pages and our Instagram Good Mom's Bad Choices, Good Mom's Underscareboard,

1304
01:04:28,560 --> 01:04:29,760
Speaker 3: Underscore Bad Choices.

1305
01:04:30,720 --> 01:04:32,600
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, that's it.

1306
01:04:32,720 --> 01:04:34,560
Speaker 3: The Good Vibe re treat to be about to release

1307
01:04:34,600 --> 01:04:37,520
Speaker 3: our twenty twenty six retreats and we are going places. Okay,

1308
01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:41,880
Speaker 3: we going places, places and spaces and you can follow

1309
01:04:41,920 --> 01:04:44,880
Speaker 3: me at Mila underscore map with two p's.

1310
01:04:45,080 --> 01:04:45,920
Speaker 2: Are you going to change that?

1311
01:04:46,040 --> 01:04:46,240
Speaker 3: Soon?

1312
01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:47,920
Speaker 2: Is going to feel like underscore?

1313
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:48,240
Speaker 3: Roy?

1314
01:04:48,280 --> 01:04:49,479
Speaker 2: What are you gonna do that?

1315
01:04:50,280 --> 01:04:51,600
Speaker 3: I'm gonna hyphenate.

1316
01:04:52,160 --> 01:04:53,520
Speaker 2: Mila Underscore Map Roy.

1317
01:04:54,040 --> 01:04:56,080
Speaker 3: I don't know if I'm changing my Instagram bitch, Oh,

1318
01:04:56,080 --> 01:04:57,880
Speaker 3: you can keep it the same. I did never I

1319
01:04:57,920 --> 01:04:59,480
Speaker 3: think so I didn't think about my Instagram. I think

1320
01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:00,240
Speaker 3: about my the.

1321
01:05:00,200 --> 01:05:02,360
Speaker 2: Things you haven't thought about. Wife, got to think about

1322
01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:07,920
Speaker 2: these things my on my Amazon packages, all these cons here?

1323
01:05:08,160 --> 01:05:10,000
Speaker 3: Are you like? What are we doing with Instagram?

1324
01:05:10,040 --> 01:05:10,120
Speaker 5: Well?

1325
01:05:10,160 --> 01:05:12,960
Speaker 3: I already had a deep conversation with my husband that

1326
01:05:13,840 --> 01:05:16,840
Speaker 3: I'm a famous author, so I can't really do too

1327
01:05:16,920 --> 01:05:18,680
Speaker 3: much with that. I can't change my full name. It's

1328
01:05:18,720 --> 01:05:21,480
Speaker 3: my it's my stage name, it's my author name, Jamila

1329
01:05:21,560 --> 01:05:23,640
Speaker 3: mapp But I could. I didn't put it.

1330
01:05:23,680 --> 01:05:24,840
Speaker 2: You could put Jamiala mapproy.

1331
01:05:24,920 --> 01:05:26,640
Speaker 3: I offered him the roy. I don't know if I

1332
01:05:26,640 --> 01:05:28,360
Speaker 3: will take that on as an author in my like

1333
01:05:28,440 --> 01:05:29,960
Speaker 3: future endeavor books.

1334
01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:33,320
Speaker 2: But the good thing he's only written one book, so

1335
01:05:33,400 --> 01:05:36,440
Speaker 2: there's still there's still it's a best seller.

1336
01:05:36,320 --> 01:05:39,160
Speaker 3: So it's really it's it's it's basically it could be

1337
01:05:39,200 --> 01:05:41,720
Speaker 3: basically ten. So the point of the matter is I'm

1338
01:05:41,720 --> 01:05:46,200
Speaker 3: already semi famous with Mela map so I could just

1339
01:05:46,400 --> 01:05:48,440
Speaker 3: having a hard time. That's the wife thing, aren't you.

1340
01:05:49,520 --> 01:05:52,840
Speaker 3: I don't think this. I don't think this is This

1341
01:05:52,880 --> 01:05:54,120
Speaker 3: is the part I'm having a hard time with. This

1342
01:05:54,160 --> 01:05:59,920
Speaker 3: is where I'm really clear actually following Amazon, Mela Mapparo.

1343
01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:02,000
Speaker 3: I've been putting roy on my last name on my

1344
01:06:02,120 --> 01:06:06,280
Speaker 3: packages for a long time on Instagram. I don't know

1345
01:06:06,320 --> 01:06:11,760
Speaker 3: that seems a little ser Okay, okay, okay, already have

1346
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:13,120
Speaker 3: barely have a couple.

1347
01:06:12,960 --> 01:06:16,080
Speaker 2: Anyway, follow her for now at Nila Underscore map.

1348
01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:18,480
Speaker 3: You can also followed follow Huccie mom.

1349
01:06:18,280 --> 01:06:20,400
Speaker 2: And dad, Hoochie mom and Daed. You can follow me

1350
01:06:20,440 --> 01:06:26,040
Speaker 2: at Watch Erica and yeah, be well, take care of

1351
01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:30,680
Speaker 2: yourself and we love you.

1352
01:06:30,880 --> 01:06:33,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm living so good? Can't you tell?

1353
01:06:33,720 --> 01:06:36,040
Speaker 5: I went through a drought. That's until I found out. Well,

1354
01:06:36,160 --> 01:06:38,680
Speaker 5: madem have been known art. I used to be broken tail,

1355
01:06:38,800 --> 01:06:42,120
Speaker 5: now got the blues. Dancer might Beyonce Jisell throat shot

1356
01:06:42,200 --> 01:06:45,120
Speaker 5: with pop and his cow wearing our voices. Patriarchy kept

1357
01:06:45,200 --> 01:06:47,440
Speaker 5: it in the box to exploit its women put the

1358
01:06:47,520 --> 01:06:48,400
Speaker 5: p and powers.

1359
01:06:48,480 --> 01:06:50,360
Speaker 3: So what's pointing that they want me to be good?

1360
01:06:50,440 --> 01:06:51,960
Speaker 3: So I made bad choices.

1361
01:06:52,080 --> 01:06:54,560
Speaker 5: Bad mom not a bad mom, but a bad mom.

1362
01:06:54,640 --> 01:06:56,760
Speaker 5: Gitter's in on, put cannabis.

1363
01:06:56,360 --> 01:06:56,919
Speaker 3: In her bath.

1364
01:06:56,960 --> 01:06:59,480
Speaker 5: Bomb walked in bosses cap and I blew his cat

1365
01:06:59,560 --> 01:07:02,880
Speaker 5: boss dog. Now I'm immune to the cat called Herbie

1366
01:07:02,880 --> 01:07:04,960
Speaker 5: in the waisted straight to it like a dollar.

1367
01:07:04,840 --> 01:07:06,440
Speaker 3: Sign, mother, rent the lover when too what?

1368
01:07:06,600 --> 01:07:08,560
Speaker 5: It's like a water sign where you're rent the winter

1369
01:07:08,760 --> 01:07:10,280
Speaker 5: essential will when the summertime?

1370
01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:12,200
Speaker 3: I do what doll ain't no one that needs to

1371
01:07:12,280 --> 01:07:12,800
Speaker 3: run it by