Speaker 1: Hello, Hey, is this ivy?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: How are you doing? Ivy?
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, is this wile?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: It is? Oh that's so crazy.
Speaker 3: Hi are you?
Speaker 1: I'm good man? How are you?
Speaker 2: I'm good. I've got COVID, so this is kind of
Speaker 2: cheering me up.
Speaker 1: I'm glad to hear that. How is your COVID experience
Speaker 1: going are you? Is it a mild thing or is
Speaker 1: it a a serious.
Speaker 2: It's pretty serious. I have a high viral load and
Speaker 2: it's just not been a fun experience for me.
Speaker 1: So, well, what else is going on with you? Ivy?
Speaker 1: It says here, Well, I why don't you tell me?
Speaker 1: I Sometimes I get sick of doing that. It says
Speaker 1: here a thing, and I just want to hear it
Speaker 1: from the person.
Speaker 2: Sure. So I thought this would be kind of like
Speaker 2: slighthearted and fun to talk about because I can laugh
Speaker 2: at it. I have a like a fantasy of like
Speaker 2: attraction to giant men and the question like I've told
Speaker 2: a few people about that that are really close to me,
Speaker 2: and they're always like, oh, so like seven foot and
Speaker 2: I'm talking about like two hundred feet.
Speaker 1: Hmm, So like like an actual like giant like Jack
Speaker 1: and the Beanstalk, type character Godzilla vibes. So tell me,
Speaker 1: would it be so like being the Damsel from King Kong?
Speaker 1: Would be like your absolute dream?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1: Interesting. So what I'm curious with this What is the
Speaker 1: closest you can get to that? Is it like just
Speaker 1: a seven foot tall guy?
Speaker 2: Well, so my boyfriend. So I'm five foot three and
Speaker 2: I'm only like one, and my boyfriend is six foot
Speaker 2: three and he's two forty. They're two fifty. So with
Speaker 2: our relationship, you already kind of have like a significant
Speaker 2: high difference. And it's weird because I'm not like I
Speaker 2: see like really tall guys and they're usually really skinny,
Speaker 2: So I'm not attracted to that. So it's like you're
Speaker 2: either like because I like, I like big guys, like
Speaker 2: not just like gigantic, but like also like kind of bigger, you.
Speaker 1: Know, like like like heavier, you know, guys who like
Speaker 1: are a little overweight.
Speaker 2: Not overweight. I really like the strong dad bods.
Speaker 1: M yeah, Like it's so, what is attractive? What is
Speaker 1: attractive to you about a two hundred foot tall man?
Speaker 2: Just I guess it's just like the extreme power imbalance
Speaker 2: that exists between the like myself and the giant Like
Speaker 2: it's like, I don't know, it's it's it's very hot
Speaker 2: that like it's for some reason, there's something about me
Speaker 2: that's valuable to this like godly person, like.
Speaker 1: You know, interesting, Like like, so the idea that this
Speaker 1: guy is two hundred foot tall, he's a giant, he
Speaker 1: is like you know, to to you to him, you're
Speaker 1: basically like the size of an ant. And yet yeah,
Speaker 1: he still cherishes you as if you were his.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Interesting. So it's it's it's not just the it's not
Speaker 1: so this is not just like the physical thing. It's
Speaker 1: also the the implications around it. The godlike stature of
Speaker 1: this two hundred foot tall guy.
Speaker 2: Is also it's also definitely like the physical stuff like
Speaker 2: just being like very like helpless and small, you know.
Speaker 1: Interesting, So can I can I ask? And you know,
Speaker 1: we don't have to get into this territory unless if
Speaker 1: you want to. But how would one even like how
Speaker 1: would a normal sized human even have like a sexual
Speaker 1: relationship with the two hundred foot tall guy? How did
Speaker 1: they even work?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 2: Obviously, like sex is out of the question, like normal
Speaker 2: penetrative sex, but like how explicit can I get how E.
Speaker 1: Supposed to do you want me to as explicit as
Speaker 1: he wants?
Speaker 2: Okay, So a lot of the because there's a few
Speaker 2: like forums that I'm a part of, because it's a
Speaker 2: small community of people that are into you know, giant
Speaker 2: men and tiny women. But a lot of the tropes
Speaker 2: I see are like a dude using the chick as
Speaker 2: like a masturbation aid, like putting her up against his
Speaker 2: dick and like.
Speaker 1: Rubbing one out, you know, like wait, so so so
Speaker 1: when you say, like all right, so, like he has
Speaker 1: you in the palm of his hand and then he
Speaker 1: starts like jacking off. Wouldn't that kill you?
Speaker 3: Probably?
Speaker 2: But okay, so I guess because it's the fantasy, you
Speaker 2: can like you know, shift it whatever you want. And
Speaker 2: most of the time in the scenario is the tiny
Speaker 2: women are kind of like very indestructible, you know, like
Speaker 2: they can take a lot because I'm not into like
Speaker 2: the hard stuff where like the woman like gets eaten
Speaker 2: or like dies horribly, you know.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm hmm h What do you like? Like I
Speaker 1: would think like like the guy would like lay down,
Speaker 1: you'd have to find you have to find like a
Speaker 1: fucking football field or something where the guy could like
Speaker 1: lay down and you could kind of climb his dick
Speaker 1: like it was like a mountain, like using the veins
Speaker 1: as like grip points and shit.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, alternatively, there's like the much more feasible option, if
Speaker 2: you could call it that, where the woman is just
Speaker 2: tiny and the man is like regular sized.
Speaker 1: Oh so okay, so you right, Okay, So that's an
Speaker 1: interesting idea. How would you feel like your boyfriend, for example,
Speaker 1: how would you feel if you got shrunk down to
Speaker 1: a tiny size so to you, he is a giant guy?
Speaker 1: Or is it not? This is that essentially the same thing?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would.
Speaker 2: I would love it, like as long as I'm like,
Speaker 2: you know, if I'm like two inches tall and he's
Speaker 2: just normal sized, that'd be amazing. Or alternatively, I'm normal
Speaker 2: sized and he's gigantic.
Speaker 1: Tell me more about these forms. What's going on in
Speaker 1: these forms?
Speaker 2: Well, it's it's really small, like most of the community,
Speaker 2: so the fetish is called macrophilia. Most of the community
Speaker 2: is into like giant tesses and that's just not like
Speaker 2: like large men and small females are so underrepresented. But
Speaker 2: the forums are just like stories like smart and that
Speaker 2: kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: So is it frustrating? To you that you have this
Speaker 1: fantasy that is physically impossible to play out.
Speaker 2: Well there so obviously like you can't really play it
Speaker 2: out that much. But there are things like my boyfriend
Speaker 2: and I that because my boyfriend knows about it and
Speaker 2: he I wouldn't say that he's like super into it,
Speaker 2: but he he definitely like tries it out for me.
Speaker 2: So like one thing is, uh, a few months ago,
Speaker 2: we went to the Red Fair and I found these
Speaker 2: like fairy ears, and so I put them on and
Speaker 2: he thought it was like really hot that I looked
Speaker 2: like like a fairy, and so he like we like
Speaker 2: did like role play kind of to where like I
Speaker 2: was a fairy and he like captured me or something.
Speaker 1: Do you find Shrek attractive?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: No, no, because when I'm imagine I'm imagining, like when
Speaker 1: you're talking about this like giant guy, I'm imagining like
Speaker 1: a really tall Shrek.
Speaker 2: No, just like no monsters or anything, just like a
Speaker 2: normal like guy, but he's just like ginormous.
Speaker 1: Have you made friends on these forums?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: What what do you talk about with the other people
Speaker 1: on these forms who are into giant people?
Speaker 2: I don't really talk to them because I don't like
Speaker 2: I don't want to get too involved with them. I'm
Speaker 2: just kind of like a like a stalker on there,
Speaker 2: Like I just read the stuff and I don't interact.
Speaker 1: So you mentioned your boyfriend and that he knows about it.
Speaker 1: How does he feel about this whole thing? I mean,
Speaker 1: I feel like you being five to three and him
Speaker 1: being six ' three. That's like the that's pretty that's
Speaker 1: the closest you can kind of get to what you're
Speaker 1: going for in reality.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we are.
Speaker 1: We have like a.
Speaker 2: Dominant submissive dynamic, and so to us it's kind of
Speaker 2: like a natural progression to go from, which might sound
Speaker 2: like a like a crazy to a lot of people,
Speaker 2: but to me and him, it's kind of like just
Speaker 2: an exaggeration of that power. He doesn't like seek it
Speaker 2: on his own, but occasionally he'll be like, hey, hey,
Speaker 2: put on the fairy ears and oh my god, it's
Speaker 2: it's so ridiculous to actually like talk about this with somebody.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was so that was gonna be. My next
Speaker 1: question is you know, you've kind of been very like
Speaker 1: bashful about all this throughout the call. Is this something
Speaker 1: that you are like embarrassed about or ashamed of or
Speaker 1: don't you know, talk to a lot of people about.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I'm I'm a little bit so because of
Speaker 2: like this barrier of anonymity, I feel like a little
Speaker 2: bit more comfortable talking about it. It's a lot harder
Speaker 2: to get it out of me, like in person. And
Speaker 2: I guess it doesn't help because the first person I
Speaker 2: ever told, uh, told about it was my first boyfriend
Speaker 2: and he was very like emotionally abusive, and he would
Speaker 2: use it against me and call me like a fucking like.
Speaker 3: Freaking weirdo and nobody would love me, you know, shit
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 2: So it's like, so I I am a little bit
Speaker 2: hesitant to bring it up, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well listen, I'm I'm happy for you that you
Speaker 1: found a new person who seems like they're they're they're
Speaker 1: more willing to lean into it with you and not
Speaker 1: use it against you.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I really appreciated that about him.
Speaker 1: Ivy, Is there anything else about this whole thing that
Speaker 1: you feel like you want to share now that you
Speaker 1: are in a place where you're comfortable getting it off
Speaker 1: your chest.
Speaker 2: I just hope that you know people, because it's something
Speaker 2: that I've repressed for so long and I'm just now
Speaker 2: coming to accept it as part of me. So if
Speaker 2: there's like other people that kind of have those feelings
Speaker 2: and just like feel embarrassed or I guess any kink
Speaker 2: for that matter, as long as it's not you know,
Speaker 2: harmful to anyone. She I mean sorry, people should just
Speaker 2: you know, embrace it and kind of explore, because I
Speaker 2: one thing I do when I was kind of like
Speaker 2: on this journey of discovering why I'm into it, I
Speaker 2: would just like kind of think about why am I
Speaker 2: into this and will it affect me long term? So
Speaker 2: I guess what I'm just trying to say is embraced
Speaker 2: like who you are, and there are communities out there
Speaker 2: for everything. Just be safe with those.
Speaker 1: Thank you for calling. I appreciate it. Yeah, have a
Speaker 1: good night, you too, O. Man, Ivy really looked out
Speaker 1: with the six to three boyfriend in that scenario. I
Speaker 1: do wonder what it is like to have a deep
Speaker 1: sexual fantasy for something that is not compatible with reality,
Speaker 1: such as a two hundred foot person. You know, I
Speaker 1: mean listen, one of these days, you know you're gonna
Speaker 1: be able to you know, Ivy's gonna be able to
Speaker 1: hop on VR with some kind of like you know,
Speaker 1: and have some kind of virtual experience where she can
Speaker 1: have sex with a two hundred foot guy. And you
Speaker 1: know what would be tragic is if that happened and
Speaker 1: then she was like, oh, this actually isn't as great
Speaker 1: as I thought it would be. I feel like that's
Speaker 1: that's the thing with a lot of fantasies, right, and
Speaker 1: to spit on here. But but is the idea that
Speaker 1: it's just out of reach? Is that what keeps it compelling?
Speaker 1: Almost such that if if there did exist two hundred
Speaker 1: foot men and she did finally have an experience with them,
Speaker 1: it would almost ruin the fantasy that it becomes reality. Anyway,
Speaker 1: Thanks you, thank you, thank you Ivy for sharing. Glad
Speaker 1: that we could create a form where people are down
Speaker 1: to talk about having sex with two hundred foot giants. Hello, Hey,
Speaker 1: is this Devon?
Speaker 2: It is?
Speaker 1: What's going on with you? Devon?
Speaker 5: Not much, just showing at home right now drinking?
Speaker 1: How many drinks, Steve?
Speaker 3: Are we.
Speaker 5: Three mixers and three beers?
Speaker 1: Three mixed drinks and three beers. Okay, so you're you're like,
Speaker 1: you're probably pretty drunk right now.
Speaker 5: Eh, got a nice little bu's going.
Speaker 1: Okay, we can work with you, We can work with
Speaker 1: a buzz, Devin, it says you're that you've been having
Speaker 1: crazy dreams that are predicting the future.
Speaker 5: Yes, I'm just gonna I'm gonna say, like the ones
Speaker 5: that I remember the most, there was one where it
Speaker 5: was like gym time, and I had a dream, like
Speaker 5: probably like three months before the event happened, that this
Speaker 5: kid threw a basketball at my nuts and I was
Speaker 5: in the same like everything was in the same scenario
Speaker 5: as my dream, and I told myself, I'm like, oh fuck,
Speaker 5: I gotta prepare myself. This guy's gonna throw the ball
Speaker 5: at my nuts. So I like covered my crotch and
Speaker 5: he fucking threw the ball right at my crotch, and
Speaker 5: I because my dream, it saved my nuts that day.
Speaker 1: Interesting, that's one.
Speaker 5: That's one dream that's pretty crazy, and then there's another.
Speaker 5: This one was crazy because it was actually with someone.
Speaker 5: I was with my friend. We're up north duck hunting
Speaker 5: and we drove past this gas station. I had it
Speaker 5: in a dream that there was this blue pick or
Speaker 5: a green pickup truck that crashed into the gas station.
Speaker 5: And I told my buddy that I'm like, dude, I
Speaker 5: had a dream.
Speaker 4: I was like exactly.
Speaker 5: I've never been there before. I'm like, I had a
Speaker 5: dream a green pickup truck crashing this gas station. He's like,
Speaker 5: he's like, yeah, that's kind of weird. And uh So, anyways,
Speaker 5: we get done duck hunting and his mom I'm called,
Speaker 5: called his phone and she's like, are you guys okay
Speaker 5: or like yeah, we're just driving back and she's like, oh,
Speaker 5: there's a huge accident at the gas station. A truck
Speaker 5: ran into it, and we drove past. There's a bunch
Speaker 5: of ambulances and shit, and there's a green pickup and
Speaker 5: my buddy just looked at me and he's like, dude,
Speaker 5: that's fucking freaky. And I'm like, yeah, I don't I
Speaker 5: don't even know what to say about it. Just I've
Speaker 5: had I've had a multiple dreams like that, and it's
Speaker 5: just it's kind of freaky.
Speaker 1: Interesting. Interesting. Yeah. Are those are those the two the
Speaker 1: two scenarios in which it's come true? Or has this
Speaker 1: happened to you many times? Many times?
Speaker 5: There's another one where I was taking tests and I
Speaker 5: wrote some answers on my hand, which you know you
Speaker 5: probably shouldn't do, but I didn't study, so I was
Speaker 5: being lazy, and I wrote my answers on my hand,
Speaker 5: and in the dream I got caught because the teacher left,
Speaker 5: but then he said he had to go talk to someone.
Speaker 5: And but in my dream he came back for some
Speaker 5: reason and he caught me like looking at my hand.
Speaker 5: So then it was the same like scene that was
Speaker 5: in my dream, and I was like, oh fuck, I
Speaker 5: shouldn't look at my hand, but I didn't look at
Speaker 5: my hand. And then also he walked back in just
Speaker 5: as I put my hand away, and I was like,
Speaker 5: there's a bunch of stuff like that.
Speaker 4: It's really weird.
Speaker 5: And then I also have a lot of fucked up
Speaker 5: dreams too.
Speaker 1: Do the fucked up dreams ever come true? Uh?
Speaker 5: Gladly No, They're they're full of very gore and brutal stuff.
Speaker 1: Okay, so I guess it's very good that they're not
Speaker 1: coming true. So since these two of them's so, since
Speaker 1: these these events have been happening where you've been dreaming
Speaker 1: things and they've been coming true, has has this put
Speaker 1: you on edge at all? Because I mean, look, you're
Speaker 1: saying you're having these gory dreams about fucked up shit happening.
Speaker 1: Do you ever have a dream of something fucked up happening,
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh shit, well, these other two dreams
Speaker 1: came true, is there a chance that this one might
Speaker 1: come true?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: Bless you?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I have I get pretty bad anxiety because like
Speaker 5: sometimes they don't always come true, and I'll be like
Speaker 5: I'll get the deja voo and then I'll just be
Speaker 5: like super on edge, like because some of them will
Speaker 5: be like the kind of gory stuff or like the
Speaker 5: brutal stuff where like someone gets murdered, and then I'll
Speaker 5: just be like freaking the fuck. Oh, I'll be like
Speaker 5: is this gonna actually happen? And then luckily it doesn't,
Speaker 5: and yeah, it's just crazy, but yeah. And then I
Speaker 5: looked it up because like the glory dreams, like because
Speaker 5: I talked to a couple of my friends and they're like,
Speaker 5: they're like, yeah, that's kind of fucked up, because like
Speaker 5: apparently none of my other friends have like super gory
Speaker 5: and like detailed dreams that they remember. And I looked
Speaker 5: it up and it was like supposedly like nightmare syndrome
Speaker 5: and what it said it is like it comes from trauma,
Speaker 5: but I've never really had any trauma, so I don't
Speaker 5: know where that comes from.
Speaker 1: Have you looked up dreams that predict real life events?
Speaker 5: I'm not. I probably should do that because it's a
Speaker 5: lot of them. No, probably, I don't know. There's there's
Speaker 5: a good amount that have come true where it's kind
Speaker 5: of it ful weird.
Speaker 1: Yeah, these are definitely you know, this is this is
Speaker 1: interesting because these are definitely freaky scenarios.
Speaker 5: You know, the kids, the truck one really was over
Speaker 5: the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the truck one was crazy. The I mean, the
Speaker 1: football thing also pretty crazy. It's interesting because I'm I'm
Speaker 1: I'm skeptical, right, I'm not a you know, I'm not
Speaker 1: a spirit guy. I'm not everything happens for a reason. Guy. Uh,
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm not really like deterministic in my thoughts
Speaker 1: about things happening in the universe. But you know, if
Speaker 1: what you tell me is true, then I don't know, man,
Speaker 1: maybe it is just a couple of very freaky coincidences.
Speaker 1: I mean, what do you think. Do you think that
Speaker 1: you are genuinely predicting the future here or these coincidences?
Speaker 5: I think a little bit. Maybe it's I don't know
Speaker 5: if like our minds can like because like, I don't know,
Speaker 5: this is just from like Facebook and shit, but like
Speaker 5: our our brain only works like thirty percent or ten
Speaker 5: percent of what it actually does and like limitally it's yeah,
Speaker 5: maybe it's just like every so and so it just
Speaker 5: like can predict the future or like foreshadow because like
Speaker 5: biologically our bodies are designed to like survive. I don't know,
Speaker 5: it's just crazy shit.
Speaker 1: Well, thanks for sharing all this. Man, does this ever
Speaker 1: like give you We kind of touched on this a
Speaker 1: little bit, but I mean, day to day, does it
Speaker 1: give you anxiety to think that you might have a
Speaker 1: dream that might come true of some fucking weird thing.
Speaker 5: A little bit like and then like some of the
Speaker 5: some of the dreams I have, like I'll be awake
Speaker 5: and I'll like it's weird because like I go on
Speaker 5: like third person and like this is gonna sound really
Speaker 5: fucked up. But like I was shopping with my older
Speaker 5: brother and then all of a sudden, like I just
Speaker 5: like I saw like someone just like walk up to
Speaker 5: him and start stabbing him, and I just like and
Speaker 5: then all of a sudden, like I came to and
Speaker 5: then like noise came back, and then I was just
Speaker 5: like that didn't happen. It was just like some like
Speaker 5: there's a couple of times where it's happened when I'm awake.
Speaker 1: Yeah, m hm, So this thing of of of you
Speaker 1: in third person watching you or watching you watch your
Speaker 1: brother get stabbed. This happened while you were awake.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we're shopping somewhere that this was a few years ago.
Speaker 5: And like I think it was with a pencil too,
Speaker 5: just like some random person was just starting like stabbing
Speaker 5: him and I'm just like and I couldn't do anything.
Speaker 5: I was just like frozen, and I was like watching
Speaker 5: It is weird.
Speaker 1: It sounds like now we're in the territory where both
Speaker 1: of us are trying to be science y in ways
Speaker 1: that we have no business being. But do you have
Speaker 1: like a narcolepsy or something like that.
Speaker 5: Uh, I'm not sure that'd be crazy.
Speaker 1: That would be crazy. Go to a guy, I mean,
Speaker 1: or you know whatever. Go to a party, go to
Speaker 1: a thing, go to someone who does sleep stuff, see
Speaker 1: what's going on. I think it'd be worth it if
Speaker 1: you're if you're passing out in the middle of the day,
Speaker 1: you're thinking about your brother getting stead Sorry, what did
Speaker 1: you said?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I talked to one of my friends and she
Speaker 5: she uh, suggested that.
Speaker 4: I do that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's a good idea therapist or something,
Speaker 1: But yeah, I just might do that. Devin, is there
Speaker 1: anything else you want to say to the people of
Speaker 1: the computer before we go?
Speaker 5: I just want to say, if you have someone that
Speaker 5: you love, if it's something they want to do, whether
Speaker 5: it's like something silly, just like and you don't want
Speaker 5: to do it, just kind of do it to like
Speaker 5: because they want to do it, you know. And then
Speaker 5: just like, even if it's something like stupid like go
Speaker 5: dancing in the rain or go get ice creaming you
Speaker 5: don't want to, just do it, just kind of be
Speaker 5: there for them, you know, because you never know what
Speaker 5: someone's going through.
Speaker 2: And then.
Speaker 5: If I could just give a shout out to my
Speaker 5: buddy I and he.
Speaker 3: Loves your.
Speaker 5: Podcast too, and he's a big fan. We've been following
Speaker 5: you since he started this so.
Speaker 2: Much.
Speaker 1: Thank you man, Thank you to Ian. Those are nice words.
Speaker 1: I like that, go with the flow, even if you
Speaker 1: don't feel like it, because you care about the person
Speaker 1: wanting ice cream. It's nice. Oh yeah, yeah, thank you
Speaker 1: for calling Devon.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I hope you have a great rest of
Speaker 5: your night, Bud.
Speaker 1: You too.
Speaker 3: Bye.
Speaker 1: That was interesting from devon these dreams. Like I said, I,
Speaker 1: you know, we get spiritually this is I wouldn't put
Speaker 1: this into the spiritual category, but it's definitely freaky and crap.
Speaker 3: What was that?
Speaker 1: What was his name?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 1: I fuck? I don't know names of people, but whatever.
Speaker 1: And the caller, he definitely did. He wasn't leaning into
Speaker 1: the idea. That's what I thought it was interesting about
Speaker 1: this call is this caller was not leaning into the
Speaker 1: idea that he has some kind of psychic He is
Speaker 1: not convinced of his own abilities. He's in the midst
Speaker 1: of wrestling with them, which I find very fascinating. And
Speaker 1: I hope that he does go to a sleep person
Speaker 1: thing and figure out what's going on, because it sounds
Speaker 1: like there's something going on and I would be curious
Speaker 1: to know what that is.
Speaker 4: Yellow.
Speaker 1: Hello, is this Tray?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: What's up?
Speaker 1: Tray?
Speaker 4: So basically, man, I'm going to go from like a
Speaker 4: ten thousand people school to a three hundred people school,
Speaker 4: and you know, I got kicked out. I made some
Speaker 4: bad decisions and basically this has been one of the
Speaker 4: most roughest years of my life because I'm losing credits
Speaker 4: because I'm going from a big campus to a small
Speaker 4: campus and they don't have as many classes, as many electives,
Speaker 4: you know, and my parents are really they're really mad
Speaker 4: at me. You know, they weren't. They weren't mad at
Speaker 4: me at the start. You know, they told me everyone
Speaker 4: makes mistakes. But now I'm losing like a lot of
Speaker 4: things that I had going for me, and I don't know,
Speaker 4: it's just just kind of I don't know. I live
Speaker 4: in a I live in a really unpopulated place in Georgia,
Speaker 4: and my parents, you know, I'm a very smart kid,
Speaker 4: and this is going to be my senior year, so
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: All right, So you're eighteen years old, a senior in
Speaker 1: high school.
Speaker 4: And you.
Speaker 1: We're kicked out of where you were going in place
Speaker 1: to a smaller class. How recently were you kicked out?
Speaker 4: I was kicked out. Let me think it had to
Speaker 4: be April April because it was my birthday, So April.
Speaker 4: It was two weeks before my birthday, Okay.
Speaker 1: And you said that a lot of the things you
Speaker 1: had going for you have been ruined by this. What
Speaker 1: were some of those things? Okay?
Speaker 4: So I'm actually very good encoding. I want to pursue
Speaker 4: cyber technology, making scripts and writing code, and I have.
Speaker 4: I was on the way to get at least like
Speaker 4: five credits into different technology classes. And the school I'm
Speaker 4: going to doesn't have any electives at all, so I
Speaker 4: can't continue that unless I do I go to another
Speaker 4: school and there's not one near me.
Speaker 5: So well literally move.
Speaker 1: Okay, So that so let's get into that. Really really
Speaker 1: is that? Is that the main one or are there others?
Speaker 1: When it comes to things that you had going for you?
Speaker 1: That's the main one, is the coding thing. Okay, So
Speaker 1: what is it that you wanted to do with coding exactly?
Speaker 1: You said you wanted to go into you know, iation technology.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry if if you could repeat that.
Speaker 4: I actually enjoy I actually enjoy writing games. That was
Speaker 4: one of the things I like doing. I know that's
Speaker 4: kind of like cliche, but it actually is fun to
Speaker 4: make video games, like hand old video games. I enjoy
Speaker 4: that a lot.
Speaker 1: Well, Trey, you know, uh, here's some great news for you, man,
Speaker 1: is that you know, there are there are a few
Speaker 1: careers out there that really require you to go to school.
Speaker 1: And luckily you can learn how to code on fucking
Speaker 1: YouTube and you don't need to be in any sort
Speaker 1: of formal school to know how to do it.
Speaker 4: I just get. I just get. So the whole reason
Speaker 4: I'm just calling you, I just I've made my parents
Speaker 4: so disappointed in me and the surrounding family, and I'm
Speaker 4: kind of just at the point where, you know, if
Speaker 4: I don't figure out something to show on paper to them,
Speaker 4: that they're not going to be proud of me at all.
Speaker 4: I wake up every day and see failure, you know
Speaker 4: what I mean. It's just they they don't even look
Speaker 4: at me the same. And I know that's kind of
Speaker 4: that sounds like bad painting, but it kind of is
Speaker 4: because they don't. They don't show the same kind of
Speaker 4: hierarchy to me as they did before. And it's just
Speaker 4: like what did they get? You know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm hm.
Speaker 1: You know, I have a couple of things that I'm feeling,
Speaker 1: is well, Okay, when we first started this, you said
Speaker 1: to me, you said to me, you said, I'm a
Speaker 1: smart guy. So clearly you have, you know, outside of
Speaker 1: what your parents think of you at this very moment,
Speaker 1: you have and maybe it fluctuates day to day, but
Speaker 1: it's there, this rock of self esteem and rock of
Speaker 1: knowledge that you are a capable human being, or else
Speaker 1: you wouldn't have said that little thing that you know
Speaker 1: that you're smart. Yeah, so that's there.
Speaker 4: I it's just you know, every year at the awards ceremonies,
Speaker 4: I've taken them things. I've always been a straight a student.
Speaker 4: And I don't want to tell. I don't want to
Speaker 4: say what I got kicked off for. What was pretty bad,
Speaker 4: but I made a dumb decision. I shouldn't have done
Speaker 4: what I did. And they they were cool with it
Speaker 4: for about I'd say two weeks. They were cool with
Speaker 4: me getting kicked out, and then it came to what
Speaker 4: school are you gonna do to? What are you going
Speaker 4: to do with your life? Are you? Are you serious
Speaker 4: right now? You get yourself kicked out? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 4: It's just the things like that, Like my dad he was,
Speaker 4: he was so chill with me when they when they
Speaker 4: were in the meeting room with our headmaster or whatever,
Speaker 4: and he just, you know, he was like, we're going
Speaker 4: to get through this, We're gonna we're gonna be better.
Speaker 4: And then after that it just went out the roof,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean. I'm sorry to get kind
Speaker 4: of emotionally because like I'm.
Speaker 1: Sorry, no yeah, sorry, that big deal. No no, no no,
Speaker 1: uh makes you happy to talk to you about this stuff.
Speaker 1: So your mom and your dad, uh, do they both
Speaker 1: have similar feelings? Uh?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: Towards that situation.
Speaker 4: My mom was more comforting in the beginning, and then
Speaker 4: you know she because I'm I. I've always been her babe,
Speaker 4: you know, her little everything. And then all of a sudden,
Speaker 4: my dad he wants to come in, and I feel
Speaker 4: like maybe it is leaning more towards my dad because
Speaker 4: he's always thought high way of me and he's always
Speaker 4: been proud of me, and then all of a sudden he.
Speaker 5: Just takes it away.
Speaker 2: M hm hm.
Speaker 4: These uh. I do you think my mom is I
Speaker 4: think she's of leading on the side of I think
Speaker 4: my mom is kind of leading on the side of
Speaker 4: she's she's got like she believes in me still, but
Speaker 4: I don't think my dad really does. And I think
Speaker 4: my dad really thinks I'm a failure and everything. I
Speaker 4: don't know, what do you.
Speaker 1: Tell me this? So try tell me this that your
Speaker 1: parents proudness in you, what do you believe it is
Speaker 1: based on?
Speaker 4: I'd have to say with my mom, she's just proud
Speaker 4: of me in general, of me doing you know, anything, anything,
Speaker 4: And my dad, I think it would have to be
Speaker 4: a materialistic value. You know, he's only proud of me
Speaker 4: when I do something that is beneficial to my life
Speaker 4: or beneficial to him as a person that may him
Speaker 4: look good. I don't think it was ever necessarily him
Speaker 4: being proud of something that made me benefit. I think
Speaker 4: he's selfish. That's that's basically the root of it. I
Speaker 4: think my dad's selfish. He's a he's like a bread winner.
Speaker 4: And I just I I've thought about dropping out because
Speaker 4: I know that there is careers like that. But at
Speaker 4: the same time, I know it's just going to make
Speaker 4: it ten times worse for me because he's just going
Speaker 4: to think ten times more that I'm a failure. But
Speaker 4: at the same time, I just want to shove it
Speaker 4: in his face that I've graduated and I've done what
Speaker 4: I knew I could because I am smart, I make
Speaker 4: good grades. I just made a dumb decision. And my
Speaker 4: dumb decision had nothing to do with academics, you know,
Speaker 4: it was just a dumb It was just a dumb thing.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: Actually, I don't care what I did. I smoked weed
Speaker 4: in the bathroom and they saw.
Speaker 1: Really that's it. You smoked weight in the bathroom. Oh,
Speaker 1: tray tray tray tray, tray tray tray.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 1: Listen, let me tell you something. Okay, you you have
Speaker 1: as I said before, you have uh and you know this,
Speaker 1: your confidence in yourself, it's there. I'm sure fluctuates. I'm
Speaker 1: sure that there are still external factors that influence it.
Speaker 1: That would be better if it didn't influence it. All
Speaker 1: I feel like you should do is water that internal confidence.
Speaker 1: You're lucky that it's that it's there, and now all
Speaker 1: you have to do is is water it. Your father
Speaker 1: only seeing only having pride in you based on materialistic
Speaker 1: things is very much his problem. And you're not going
Speaker 1: to arrive at this overnight. You're extremely young. But eventually,
Speaker 1: over time, as you do your thing and pursue what
Speaker 1: is important to you, as you know that you will,
Speaker 1: I think you will develop a calmness when you think
Speaker 1: of your relationship with your father, if that makes sense,
Speaker 1: like like you'll come to peace with this whole thing
Speaker 1: of like my dad only sees value in me from
Speaker 1: material objects and like you know, God bless him that
Speaker 1: has no effect on me and my life and my confidence,
Speaker 1: because my confidence, my life, my self esteem, my pride
Speaker 1: in myself comes from things that I know and I
Speaker 1: believe to be true. Comes from things that are important
Speaker 1: to me. You know, I don't know what is important
Speaker 1: to you. In fact, let's get into that real quick.
Speaker 1: What is it that makes you proud of yourself?
Speaker 4: You know, when I accomplish something that like I've been
Speaker 4: wanting to do, like when I get learned a new skill,
Speaker 4: or when i'm when I finally you know, figure something out.
Speaker 4: You know, the biggest I think the biggest accomplishment of
Speaker 4: my life was you know, becoming good as something. You know,
Speaker 4: just in general, I like to like to just be
Speaker 4: good at things, you know, Like I don't ever want
Speaker 4: to just look at myself and say I can't do it.
Speaker 4: I want to try and do it. I don't know,
Speaker 4: I just feel like I feel like this was like
Speaker 4: a big just like a bump in the road for
Speaker 4: me because I've always had the mentality of if you
Speaker 4: want it, go get it, And now I can't.
Speaker 1: Why why can't you? What do you mean you can't?
Speaker 4: I just there's just so much holding me back. I've
Speaker 4: literally I if I moved out, you know, I'm gonna
Speaker 4: get harassed by my dad and he's just gonna he's
Speaker 4: just gonna just just disown me. If if I tried
Speaker 4: and to not pass school, you know, he's just gonna
Speaker 4: be in my ear about it. I just, I just
Speaker 4: I just want to do my best while I can.
Speaker 4: And if my best is not good enough for him'm
Speaker 4: actually you know, he can screw it now that I
Speaker 4: think about it, because I've done I've done it, I've
Speaker 4: done the most I can do. I'm generally like the
Speaker 4: perfect son to him. He has leave the bathroom because
Speaker 4: I was trying to get high. Get high, bro. It
Speaker 4: felt good, it did, it felt good. I hate a blinker.
Speaker 4: And the only reason they found out is because I
Speaker 4: still I fill out in the middle class.
Speaker 1: Tray please, tray, tray, if if please, let if if no,
Speaker 1: if nobody in your life or who you've been talking
Speaker 1: to in the past few weeks has has told you
Speaker 1: this yet I am honored to to hope, hopefully not
Speaker 1: be the first. But I am honored to tell you
Speaker 1: that although you smoked weed in a bathroom, there is
Speaker 1: remains many, many, many, many many opportunities UH for for
Speaker 1: you to be successful in life, that that uh does
Speaker 1: absolutely nothing to define you in any way at all.
Speaker 1: I think it's horrible that you feel as though it does,
Speaker 1: because it's such a nothing thing. I smoke weed in
Speaker 1: bathrooms all the time every day, and things are going
Speaker 1: pretty decent. Dude. Please don't, please, please please don't let
Speaker 1: this be dude, Please, please don't let this change your
Speaker 1: perspective of yourself and and and your opportunities in life.
Speaker 1: Please don't. I know that because you're like I remember
Speaker 1: being in high fucking high school and everything was like
Speaker 1: life and death and shit. But please, I'm telling you
Speaker 1: it's not. Please don't feel this way. Even if your
Speaker 1: dad is trying to get you to feel this way,
Speaker 1: or your mom or whatever guidance counselor person is trying
Speaker 1: to get you to feel this way. The world does
Speaker 1: not work like that. Even though you have people around
Speaker 1: you convincing you it does, it really doesn't. And you're
Speaker 1: not some fucking guy who you know. We can all
Speaker 1: tell that you have the desire to do shit and
Speaker 1: that's all that you need. Man. You have that you
Speaker 1: have the Internet at your disposal. You have all the
Speaker 1: infinite resources you could possibly need to learn these skills
Speaker 1: that you want to learn, and dude, fucking go for it. Please,
Speaker 1: please don't let the fact that you got suspended when
Speaker 1: you were eighteen for smoking weed in the bathroom have
Speaker 1: any effect on your belief as to what you can
Speaker 1: do with your life moving forward. I mean, that's crazy. Man.
Speaker 1: You're going to look back on this when you're twenty
Speaker 1: four and you're gonna be like that was funny.
Speaker 4: You want to know something else is really fucked up
Speaker 4: about this situation.
Speaker 1: Sure, my girlfriend of.
Speaker 4: Six months that I was dating, we met in middle
Speaker 4: school and we've been like best friends only lest you
Speaker 4: definitely popped through the question, you know, do you do
Speaker 4: you think you want to be more than friends? The
Speaker 4: day that I got kicked out of school, I was
Speaker 4: blocked on everything. Her mother called me, told me to
Speaker 4: come and get some of my things from our house
Speaker 4: and that she didn't want to be involved with her
Speaker 4: daughter anymore at all. And I have And that was
Speaker 4: that was That was.
Speaker 1: Trey, Man, you're cutting out a little bit. But are
Speaker 1: you saying that she dumped you because you got caught
Speaker 1: smoking weed in the bathroom?
Speaker 4: Yes, exactly exactly, And I think it was.
Speaker 1: Tray, listen, I know that, try, I know that you
Speaker 1: know you're you're in high school and this ship all
Speaker 1: feels very very real right now. But dude, yes, dude,
Speaker 1: oh my god, dude, you know you know it's funny. Man,
Speaker 1: it's fun talking to you because I I remember, like,
Speaker 1: because I did shit like that, you know, fucking taking
Speaker 1: weed edibles and going to class and shit. And it's
Speaker 1: just like you at this period in your life, you're
Speaker 1: living in such a like defined so like everything in
Speaker 1: high school, like there's this rule book and if it's
Speaker 1: against the rules, it's bad, and if it isn't, it's
Speaker 1: you know, getting grades is good and smoking weed is bad.
Speaker 1: And in the real world there's no fucking binaries of
Speaker 1: rules of things like this. I'm fucking kind of rambling here,
Speaker 1: but dude, if anything, bottom line, Tray, can I tell
Speaker 1: you this bottom line? Focus on what you want.
Speaker 4: Man.
Speaker 1: You seem like you want to pursue skills, seem like
Speaker 1: you want to learn it, seems like you want to
Speaker 1: pursue coding, you want to make games, you want to
Speaker 1: do things like that. Dude, Just do that. Don't get
Speaker 1: all in your head. Don't let your dad get in
Speaker 1: your head. Don't let this girl get in your head.
Speaker 1: Don't let the school thing get in your head, don't
Speaker 1: your mom get in your head. Just really focus on
Speaker 1: going on YouTube, going on Reddit, whatever it is, where
Speaker 1: you can learn how to do the things that you
Speaker 1: want to do. And when you get out into the
Speaker 1: real world, you'll learn that. You know, as long as
Speaker 1: you have this skill that you can use to provide
Speaker 1: value to other people, nobody's gonna give up. Fuck if
Speaker 1: you smoked weed in the bathroom, and I'm sure eventually
Speaker 1: you will find a nice girl to hang out and
Speaker 1: smoke weed in bathrooms with. So please, man, I'm really
Speaker 1: telling you, please, don't let your dad or your mom
Speaker 1: or anything. I'm saying it again because I really believe it.
Speaker 1: Don't let any these people get into your head. Man,
Speaker 1: Just don't. All right, please take it from me. Man,
Speaker 1: Like you seem like this, learning these skills is important
Speaker 1: to you. Just hunker down and do that. Don't let
Speaker 1: anyone else get into your head, and you're gonna find
Speaker 1: yourself in a much much mony. It's gonna take time,
Speaker 1: but you're gonna find yourself in a much better position
Speaker 1: a few years from now, where you'll be able to
Speaker 1: look back on this and it'll be funny. And also,
Speaker 1: you know, at this age, when you're reliant on your
Speaker 1: parents for things, your relationship with them is so much different.
Speaker 1: And I promise you, when you eventually do get to
Speaker 1: the point, as I know you will, because you are
Speaker 1: a smart guy, and you are you know, inclined towards
Speaker 1: making something of yourself and learning skills to provide value,
Speaker 1: you will eventually make enough money to live on your own,
Speaker 1: to eat food on your own, to pay for your
Speaker 1: own fucking phone bill, and you won't need your parents financially.
Speaker 1: And when that happens, your relationship with them is gonna
Speaker 1: be so much better because it'll all be elective. You
Speaker 1: won't need anything from them, and it'll be so much better.
Speaker 1: I don't know if any of the things I'm saying
Speaker 1: to you are fascinating, but.
Speaker 4: Let me just tell you one thing. It was like
Speaker 4: it was a good process for me that I got
Speaker 4: to do this because I just I really like, I
Speaker 4: really like bonding with people, you know, because they make
Speaker 4: me feel a lot better, a lot better about myself,
Speaker 4: and the chat like really boosting my ego a little bit.
Speaker 4: And you know, I sound a lot happier now. I
Speaker 4: just I just like this made my day sometimes better,
Speaker 4: my weak even maybe even my mud because I haven't
Speaker 4: really been talking to anybody. I've been really secluded. I've
Speaker 4: just been kind of doing my own thing, and I
Speaker 4: feel like I need to get out and try to
Speaker 4: make something better of myself because I actually was being
Speaker 4: that failure that he told me I was, So you
Speaker 4: know what, I just thank you, thank you.
Speaker 5: I'm happy that this happened.
Speaker 1: Good man, thank you for talking to me about that.
Speaker 1: I'm actually, yeah, if I.
Speaker 4: Want to smoke fat ass dad pen after this, I
Speaker 4: will because I'm about to get high at fuck, That's
Speaker 4: what I'm gonna do. And fuck if he walks in
Speaker 4: my room, I'm a laugh at e. I'm a laugh atty.
Speaker 4: That's what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 1: Trey, listen, man, you know, I'm glad I got to
Speaker 1: talk to you too, because I just did. I remember
Speaker 1: fucking being in high school and everyone had their sort
Speaker 1: of idea of what success was and whatnot, and I
Speaker 1: felt really constrained by it. And I don't know, I
Speaker 1: hope that you, you know, find it in yourself to
Speaker 1: define what success is for yourself and pursue it and
Speaker 1: not let anyone else get in your head about it.
Speaker 4: And I won't. I won't. I'm gonna do better than
Speaker 4: this day.
Speaker 5: Man.
Speaker 4: Fuck what other people say.
Speaker 5: I'm loosted up, bro, I'm.
Speaker 1: Bost up, Trey, Is there anything else you want to
Speaker 1: say to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 4: Fuck bitches, get money.
Speaker 1: Thanks for calling, Trey. You're welcome, Love you, love all Youah,
Speaker 1: Try try There's one important thing I forgot to tell you.
Speaker 2: Try.
Speaker 1: There's one important thing I forgot to tell you. And
Speaker 1: and I and I sort of there's one important thing
Speaker 1: I forgot to tell you, and I I I this
Speaker 1: is important. Try so listen to this cause I didn't
Speaker 1: tell you this because I was hearing I was hearing
Speaker 1: this in your voice a little bit. Don't go into
Speaker 1: the whole. At the very end, you were all like, well,
Speaker 1: fuck my dad and fuck my mom and fuck them
Speaker 1: and fuck this and fuck you and fuck these people
Speaker 1: and funck all this. Don't don't. I understand the inclination
Speaker 1: to have that. I understand the inclination to have that
Speaker 1: be a guiding force for you, because you know it
Speaker 1: riles you up and gets you motivated. But it's not
Speaker 1: a sustainable form of energy, and it only will reinforce
Speaker 1: their role as puppet masters in your life. So if
Speaker 1: you're listening, don't you know, don't go and make a
Speaker 1: bunch of successful video games or apps, or get a
Speaker 1: job you really wanted or anything like that in the
Speaker 1: name of proving your parents wrong. That's not a good
Speaker 1: reason to do things, and it still holds you captive
Speaker 1: to their grasp. Do it because you want to do it,
Speaker 1: Do it because you believe in yourself. Don't do it
Speaker 1: for them. Treat your parents with nothing but love and appreciation.
Speaker 1: And part of that love and appreciation is disagreeing with
Speaker 1: them their ideas of what success and failure is. But
Speaker 1: don't let yourself, you know, don't let your train run
Speaker 1: on the energy of you know, fuck them and I
Speaker 1: want to prove them wrong because it's not going to
Speaker 1: work out for you doing that. That was all I
Speaker 1: had left to say. What is going on with you, Molina?
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm just hanging out, you know, just as usual.
Speaker 3: I'm about to maybe go in the pool with my
Speaker 3: nieces and my sister, and the only person here who
Speaker 3: knows who you are is my brother.
Speaker 1: That's totally fine. Uh well, Melina, is there a reason
Speaker 1: why you called in today, anything in particular you wanted
Speaker 1: to talk about. Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I just recently started becoming a stripper.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 3: I live in San Diego, so I strip in San Diego.
Speaker 3: So I figured there was probably a lot of things
Speaker 3: we could talk about with me being a baby stripper.
Speaker 1: Okay, tell me those things. What, uh well, what inspired
Speaker 1: you to start to start stripping?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 3: What inspired me? Well, I mean, I don't know if
Speaker 3: this is going to sound just like totally awful, but
Speaker 3: I know a lot of people listening will probably relate.
Speaker 3: I've kind of like always wanted to be a stripper.
Speaker 3: So I was probably in like third grade when I'm
Speaker 3: in Love with a Stripper came out. And you know,
Speaker 3: I grew up with five older sisters. As you can
Speaker 3: hear in the background, I have a gigantic family. And yeah,
Speaker 3: and on that note, my aunt also used to be
Speaker 3: a stripper when I was in high school. She actually
Speaker 3: used to dance at the same club that I dance
Speaker 3: at now. So I mean, there's just a lot of reasons.
Speaker 3: My mom used to be a dance instructor before I
Speaker 3: was born, and like my first concert was like eminem
Speaker 3: and Little John east Side Boys. When I was nine,
Speaker 3: my mom took me, So yeah, I mean it's kind
Speaker 3: of like why not. But I also had some things
Speaker 3: happen in life where like I had to come up
Speaker 3: with a lot of money really quickly, and I couldn't
Speaker 3: work like normal business hours because I come from like
Speaker 3: the corporate world, and I also used to manage like
Speaker 3: a lot of different things. So it's not like, you know,
Speaker 3: I needed to be a stripper, but I did for
Speaker 3: the money and I did for the hours, and it
Speaker 3: just was something I always wanted to do. And the
Speaker 3: bad thing that happened in my life kind of led
Speaker 3: me to like this one good thing in my eyes,
Speaker 3: which is a silver lining that I get to do
Speaker 3: something I've always wanted to do.
Speaker 1: So you said that you've always wanted to do this.
Speaker 1: It says you're twenty seven years old. Why did you
Speaker 1: wait until you know, so late to pursue this, Well,
Speaker 1: I'm twenty.
Speaker 3: Six, almost twenty seven. But because I was always in
Speaker 3: like relationships and like long term ones. You know, I
Speaker 3: was in one for a really long time when I
Speaker 3: was in high school. So for about eight years, my
Speaker 3: high school sweetheart and I were together until I was
Speaker 3: about twenty three, and then you know, like a few
Speaker 3: things in between, you know, us breaking up, there a
Speaker 3: few different like relationships, but then another long term relationship
Speaker 3: which ends up being the father of my child. So
Speaker 3: I also have a ten month old son, So it's like,
Speaker 3: that's actually what happened. Where now I need to you know,
Speaker 3: come up with money really quickly. Is I'm I'm in
Speaker 3: a custody battle for my son right now, and I
Speaker 3: can't pay the lawyer's fees and I can't pay all
Speaker 3: that kind of stuff. So I was like, hey, I
Speaker 3: mean it's legal, it's a license, Like I talked to
Speaker 3: my lawyer about it, So it just kind of seemed
Speaker 3: like the right thing to do. Like it was also
Speaker 3: not gonna lie like a pain point for my for
Speaker 3: the father and my child. For my baby daddy. He
Speaker 3: was always like, oh, like, you cannot do that. Even
Speaker 3: though I'd ask him. He wouldn't let me have only fans,
Speaker 3: you know, he wouldn't let me dance. So now it's like,
Speaker 3: not only do I get to do that because like
Speaker 3: we're apart, but now like I need to because.
Speaker 2: He's taking me through this nasty custody battle, so you.
Speaker 3: Know it kind of so.
Speaker 1: Wh how long have you been in this custom city
Speaker 1: battle for?
Speaker 3: Since my baby was six months old? So five months now, okay?
Speaker 1: And you are not on good terms with the father?
Speaker 3: No, we're not on good terms with each other.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: Do you see his parents because the father is a
Speaker 3: lot younger than me.
Speaker 1: So yeah, do you see yourself being able to eventually
Speaker 1: work this out and get it to a less stressful place?
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely. I mean I feel like it's actually leveling
Speaker 3: out right now, Like I have my next court dates
Speaker 3: coming up. It's leveling out right now. I see my
Speaker 3: son a lot, and so that's good.
Speaker 4: And the time that I.
Speaker 3: See my son's only going to increase, So like that
Speaker 3: part of the situation is really bad. But like I said,
Speaker 3: just trying to like look at the silver lining, which
Speaker 3: is like, this is something I've always wanted to do
Speaker 3: and now I get to do it, and it's also
Speaker 3: helping me get through my situation. So I feel like
Speaker 3: it's almost leveling out right now.
Speaker 1: And and the the relationship with the father of the child,
Speaker 1: you know, is it is it sort of catastrophic to
Speaker 1: a point where you know, you don't think it will
Speaker 1: settle down and you guys will be able to co
Speaker 1: parent together, because it's I feel like that's got to
Speaker 1: be difficult if you're not in a situation where you
Speaker 1: know you're not even on speaking terms with the father
Speaker 1: of your child, because you guys have so many things
Speaker 1: that you know you have to work out between each other,
Speaker 1: right right.
Speaker 3: I think that eventually it will because and that's getting
Speaker 3: into something like a lot like different and deeper, which
Speaker 3: I mean, hey, we can get into it, but we
Speaker 3: me and him, like we have a lot of the
Speaker 3: same beliefs, Like I like to say even now, like
Speaker 3: there's a reason I chose him to be the father
Speaker 3: of my child, Like I do have like faith and
Speaker 3: trust in him, and like we do have a lot
Speaker 3: of the same beliefs and everything, and he and I
Speaker 3: truly believe that, like we're soalmates. And you know, like
Speaker 3: if we don't find each other again in this dimension
Speaker 3: in that love sense, like we will find it again
Speaker 3: in another one. And we're definitely always both going to
Speaker 3: be the parents to this child, and we love him
Speaker 3: more than anything on this earth, Like me and the
Speaker 3: father both love the child more than anything on the planet.
Speaker 3: So I think that we will always be able to
Speaker 3: come back to a point where we can reconcile the differences,
Speaker 3: at least a co parent. But I would go beyond
Speaker 3: that to say that we might get to the point
Speaker 3: where we could be back together and as long as
Speaker 3: it's a few years down the line and we both
Speaker 3: get like the help that we need.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's good to hear that you have some optimism
Speaker 1: for the future of that relationship. I'm hoping that the
Speaker 1: optimism for the future that relationship is you know, it
Speaker 1: comes from a grounded place where you can still operate
Speaker 1: and do your stuff without I guess holding out for
Speaker 1: this guy. So has your family It sounds you're very
Speaker 1: very much a family oriented person. Yes, yes, And has
Speaker 1: your family been supportive of your decision to go and stripping?
Speaker 3: Oddly enough, my dad has been the most supportive, like
Speaker 3: my actual father and yeah, but other than that, my
Speaker 3: whole family knows, which I've.
Speaker 2: Found is not super common.
Speaker 3: Like when I'm talking to other dancers, like a lot
Speaker 3: of the dancers' families don't even know. So I feel
Speaker 3: like the fact that like my family knows, and like
Speaker 3: I'm able to be open with them about it is
Speaker 3: them being supportive enough, you know, like they're not always
Speaker 3: gonna like everything that I do. But my dad is
Speaker 3: super supportive, and yeah, actually just gave me a big
Speaker 3: chunk of money to upgrade my license so I can
Speaker 3: dance at different clubs, which means more money. So yeah,
Speaker 3: I feel like my family's been super super supportive. And
Speaker 3: I mean, like right now I'm standing in my brother's
Speaker 3: room talking about this in front of him when he's eighteen,
Speaker 3: So I mean, they're as supportive as they can be.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: Have you always had a really good relationship with your dad?
Speaker 3: With my dad, now it's been actually like a really
Speaker 3: bad relationship. It was not until all of this happened
Speaker 3: with my son that my relationship kind of with my
Speaker 3: dad kind of got back together.
Speaker 1: Interesting, how do you feel like the lowest point in
Speaker 1: my life, how do you feel like your son sort
Speaker 1: of changed the dynamic between you and your dad.
Speaker 3: Because I was at the lowest point of my life
Speaker 3: and even at the end of my pregnancy there I
Speaker 3: was getting sick often, so like you know, throwing up
Speaker 3: for like sixteen hours at a time and needing to
Speaker 3: be carried down the stairs into like the emergency room
Speaker 3: type thing, and there was a couple of times that
Speaker 3: we had no choice but to call my dad to
Speaker 3: come help like carry me, and so that was like,
Speaker 3: you know, kind of like broke the eyes. But then
Speaker 3: after I had my son, like this is my first child,
Speaker 3: and my dad doesn't have a good relationship with my
Speaker 3: sister and her kids. So I feel like he was
Speaker 3: like excited, kind of like a clean slate and wanted
Speaker 3: to like you know, move past everything for that reason.
Speaker 3: But when everything happened with my son, like when I
Speaker 3: actually like you know, broke up with my baby daddy
Speaker 3: and you know.
Speaker 2: We went through this custody battle we started it.
Speaker 3: My dad was one of the only people that was
Speaker 3: like there for me, you know what I mean. Like
Speaker 3: it was actually like a super bad situation where I
Speaker 3: needed to be like taken out of another state and
Speaker 3: brought back home, and my dad like ends up paying
Speaker 3: like a four hundred dollars like cab fee to get
Speaker 3: me down, you know, to the airport and you know,
Speaker 3: like make sure I got on the flight and everything
Speaker 3: like that. So I feel like he kind of used
Speaker 3: that catastrophe in my life to like show that he
Speaker 3: can be there for me now. Even though he wasn't
Speaker 3: when I was a kid.
Speaker 1: So yeah, okay, So so he he kind of wasn't
Speaker 1: stepping up to the plate for you while you were
Speaker 1: growing up, and he saw this as an opportunity to
Speaker 1: show that he's changed and that he wants to be
Speaker 1: an active part of your life and help you out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, especially because it is about my son, you know,
Speaker 3: so it's like the biggest part of my life. Like
Speaker 3: I feel like I was made to be a mom,
Speaker 3: you know, like this's totally destroyed my life when it's happened.
Speaker 3: And so yeah, like him stepping in and saying, like,
Speaker 3: we'll do what we have to do to make sure
Speaker 3: that we maintain your son's presence in your life. But
Speaker 3: like it was like the most impactful.
Speaker 4: Thing he could have done.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's awesome. It sounds like you're surrounded by
Speaker 1: by good people that and also it kind of sounds
Speaker 1: like it took you a while for everyone to kind
Speaker 1: of get on this solid footing that everyone's on.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, definitely, what would.
Speaker 1: You say, I mean, before we go, and I appreciate
Speaker 1: you sharing all this stuff with us, What would you
Speaker 1: say or like, you know, at this very moment because
Speaker 1: it sounds like you went through a lot of conflict
Speaker 1: and the conflict is kind of settling and resolving. What
Speaker 1: would you say are the biggest pain points in your
Speaker 1: life right now that you that you hope to resolve.
Speaker 3: That I don't have a fifty percent custody of my child,
Speaker 3: like I want, you know, to raise him equally with
Speaker 3: his father. That drives like every thought and everything in
Speaker 3: my brain, you know. So that's why I was like
Speaker 3: when I tried, when I thought about calling in, it's
Speaker 3: funny because I tried not to talk about this, but
Speaker 3: here we are talking about it anyway, not because I
Speaker 3: didn't want to, but because you know, like you don't
Speaker 3: always do like these serious discussions and everything. But yeah,
Speaker 3: like my son is like the forefront of every thought
Speaker 3: in my brain. So that really still is a pain
Speaker 3: point for me, is that, you know, I'm missing his infancy.
Speaker 3: It's hard to see him because I see him four
Speaker 3: times a week and so that's a lot. But every
Speaker 3: time I see him, it's something new, like he'll have
Speaker 3: like a new tooth, or like now he can stand,
Speaker 3: or he can clap, or he can say mama, you know,
Speaker 3: and it's like I miss all of that up until
Speaker 3: that point. Yeah, and so it's like the borderline of
Speaker 3: being grateful that I still get to see it, but
Speaker 3: also like the pain of knowing that I don't see
Speaker 3: him all of the time and I don't get to
Speaker 3: put him to bed at night and stuff like that.
Speaker 3: It also does hurt that, you know, everything with the
Speaker 3: father of my child, Like, of course, I wish it
Speaker 3: hadn't happened that way, and like I wish that we
Speaker 3: would have worked out. So that's still a paid point.
Speaker 3: But obviously I do go to a real therapist, like
Speaker 3: obviously multiple times a week. So yeah, I mean, but
Speaker 3: those are the two things that really stick with me.
Speaker 3: But I try to focus on the happy parts and
Speaker 3: like do what I can, because you know, you can't
Speaker 3: go back and change anything, but you can only go forward.
Speaker 1: Well, Melina, thank you for sharing all that stuff. I'm
Speaker 1: you know, I remember when at the beginning of this,
Speaker 1: when I asked you how the custody battle is seems
Speaker 1: like it's resolving that you said that it is hopefully
Speaker 1: going in a good direction for you, or you'll be
Speaker 1: able to see your son at least fifty percent of
Speaker 1: the time. I hope that works out for you. I'm
Speaker 1: glad to hear that, you know, I mean, this doesn't
Speaker 1: sound like it's the first time in your life where
Speaker 1: you've experienced something tumultuous that then ended up you know,
Speaker 1: working out for you. Glad to hear that you have
Speaker 1: a lot of good people around you and that things
Speaker 1: are settling in a good way. Sounds like you very
Speaker 1: much enjoy the stripping. I feel like, you know, you
Speaker 1: called in mainly to talk about that, but I feel
Speaker 1: like we got into sort of the this overall portrait
Speaker 1: of your life right right, And yeah, good luck to you.
Speaker 1: You know, everyone's everyone's kind of trying to like attain
Speaker 1: this harmony of every you know, their personal life and
Speaker 1: their you know, what they're doing for money, and how
Speaker 1: things are going with their family and their friends, and
Speaker 1: you you you sound like you're getting there, So you know,
Speaker 1: good luck to you in the future. And is there
Speaker 1: anything else you want to say to the people a
Speaker 1: computer before you go?
Speaker 3: Yeah, just if there's anything that you want to do,
Speaker 3: just go for it. Because when I first went into
Speaker 3: audition for the Strip Club, I had never stepped from
Speaker 3: in the strip club, and you know, it was one
Speaker 3: of the most nerve wracking things that I've ever done.
Speaker 3: But that goes for anything, you know, like follow your
Speaker 3: heart and definitely like listen to your gut feeling, but
Speaker 3: don't be afraid to take that jump because sometimes it's
Speaker 3: like the best thing that could have ever happened for you.
Speaker 3: It's not as scary as it seems.
Speaker 1: Thank you for calling, Melina.
Speaker 3: Thank you, have a good day. I love you.
Speaker 1: Everything goes on the line, making your phone calls every night.
Speaker 1: Everything goes to teaching your cloud in the of your life.
Speaker 1: Body's not ready. An expert