WEBVTT - Second Cup: Give praise that works

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is to give praise that works. That is, praise

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<v Speaker 1>that leaves the person feeling good, and that increases the

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<v Speaker 1>chances that the behavior will occur again. When it comes

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<v Speaker 1>to praise, there are really just two important lessons to

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<v Speaker 1>keep in mind, whether you're praising adults or kids at

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<v Speaker 1>work or in your personal life. First, you should praise

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<v Speaker 1>the process rather than labeling the person. It's really easy

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<v Speaker 1>to praise someone by proclaiming them a genius, a Picasso,

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<v Speaker 1>Ceo material or the like. Labels like these just roll

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<v Speaker 1>off the tongue and don't require us to think or

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<v Speaker 1>reflect much about the person's performance or its impact. They

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<v Speaker 1>can feel good in the moment, though they can also

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<v Speaker 1>come off as insincere or meaningless because they're so vague.

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<v Speaker 1>But there's a bigger issue than their vagueness. When we

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<v Speaker 1>give praise. By labeling people, we can make them less

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<v Speaker 1>willing to take on a challenge and risk failure in

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<v Speaker 1>the future. They become so attached to the label that

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<v Speaker 1>they're reluctant to do something that might cause them to

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<v Speaker 1>lose it. Psychologist Carol Dweck and her team famously conducted

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<v Speaker 1>research on the effect of praising children's effort versus praising

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<v Speaker 1>their intelligence. They found that kids who were praised for

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<v Speaker 1>success on a set of problems with words like wow,

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<v Speaker 1>you must have worked really hard, that is, praising their effort,

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<v Speaker 1>wanted to take on more challenging problems in the future.

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<v Speaker 1>On the other hand, kids whose intelligence was praised, wow,

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<v Speaker 1>you must be smart at this didn't want to take

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<v Speaker 1>on challenging problems and perform less well. They didn't want

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<v Speaker 1>to try something hard for fear that they would no

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<v Speaker 1>longer be seen as smart. Duet concludes that we're better

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<v Speaker 1>off praising effort or process rather than labeling people as

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<v Speaker 1>having fixed traits. So rather than tell a kid good

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<v Speaker 1>job on her homeworker, you're such a math genius, you

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<v Speaker 1>might say that was a challenging fraction problem and you

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<v Speaker 1>solved it. I see you tried several different approaches until

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<v Speaker 1>you've found one that worked. And rather than tell an

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<v Speaker 1>employee that she's a great speaker, you might say, I've

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<v Speaker 1>heard you mentioned that presentations are stressful to you. Let

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<v Speaker 1>me tell you your preparation and practice on this one really

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<v Speaker 1>paid off. You spoke fluidly and made your points clearly,

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<v Speaker 1>nicely done. Praising the process, rather than labeling the person

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<v Speaker 1>also works because process is within our control. If you

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<v Speaker 1>praise my use of multiple strategy jees to solve a

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<v Speaker 1>tough problem, or my clear communication, or my willingness to

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<v Speaker 1>put in the time to practice, I see that those

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<v Speaker 1>behaviors are valued and effective, and later, when I encounter

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<v Speaker 1>a similar situation, I'll be more likely to turn to

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<v Speaker 1>those behaviors which are within my control and are likely

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<v Speaker 1>to lead to good outcomes. Again, the second part of

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<v Speaker 1>giving praise that works connect your praise with the positive

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<v Speaker 1>impact the praised behavior had. The Center for Creative Leadership

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<v Speaker 1>has an approach called situation behavior Impact. This method lets

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<v Speaker 1>people know how their behavior influenced outcomes. Here's how it works.

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<v Speaker 1>For giving praise. You might say to a kid, Mollie,

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<v Speaker 1>I liked how you suggested that you and Jenny use

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<v Speaker 1>a timer to help you take turns with the tire swing.

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<v Speaker 1>You each had some fun and there were no tears

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<v Speaker 1>or at work, Sam, you were so well prepared for

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<v Speaker 1>that meeting. You'd anticipated every question our client had, whether

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<v Speaker 1>we land this contract or not. I know you gave

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<v Speaker 1>her a positive impression of our company. This sort of

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<v Speaker 1>praise is encouraging and better yet, nudge people to make

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<v Speaker 1>equally smart choices in the future. In the meantime, this

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<v Speaker 1>is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making the

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<v Speaker 1>most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear

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<v Speaker 1>from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,

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<v Speaker 1>or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook

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<v Speaker 1>and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod. That's b the number

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<v Speaker 1>four then breakfast pod. You can also shoot me an

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<v Speaker 1>email at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeartMedia dot com that

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<v Speaker 1>before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks

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<v Speaker 1>so much. Should I look forward to staying in touch.

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts

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